So Much Of The Advice You Hear ISN’T For You… (2164)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros break down what self-belief looks like on both sides. From Kobe Bryant’s unshakable mindset to their own stories, they share how doubt, confidence, and focus shape success. Tune in to understand where your self-belief stands today and how to use it to reach your next level.

Free 30-minute Business Breakthrough Session with Alan -https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-free-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04
Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin -https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

_____________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(3:03) Why self-belief isn’t the same for everyone
(7:01) What self-belief does for success
(9:13) Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(11:11) Letting go of dreams to stay focused
(15:02) Finding your starting point with self-belief
(17:06) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 3:03 Why self-belief isn’t the same for everyone
• 7:01 What self-belief actually does for success
• 9:13 Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:
• 11:11 Letting go of dreams to stay focused
• 15:02 Finding your starting point with self-belief
• 17:06 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If I hear another person with super high self-belief tell me to just believe in myself a little bit more, I'm gonna punch my own self in the face.

Alan Lazaros

(0:11) If someone has undying, ridiculous, internal, high self-belief, most likely the advice they're giving needs to be filtered through that awareness. (0:22) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:25) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:26) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:29) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:36) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:43) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:58) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:05) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:11) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2,164, I'm gonna punch my own self in my own face based on what I said in the beginning. (1:19) Alan sent me something the other day. (1:20) He sent me, it was a clip of Kobe Bryant and he was being interviewed.(1:24) And again, Alan sends me fire content all the time, so it's not that, it's the context and what it means for us more than anything. (1:32) And essentially, the guy said, where does doubt play into the whole thing for you? (1:38) And Kobe Bryant could not answer it.(1:40) He literally, he couldn't. (1:42) All he should have said is, I don't have any. (1:44) I don't have any doubt.(1:46) I just show up and I know if I lose, I'll win eventually. (1:50) I know if I'm bad, I'll be good eventually. (1:52) And I know if I never stop, I could be the best.(1:55) Just say that, Kobe. (1:56) But it was abundantly clear, this man does not know what it's like to have self-doubt. (2:00) He does not know, at least in basketball.(2:02) Other things, I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

(2:04) I don't know. (2:04) No, brother, I think it translated more than basketball too. (2:07) RIP to Kobe.(2:08) And again, don't know the man, not friends with the man. (2:12) Just don't associate us with any people, ever. (2:18) So, I've studied his career because I go to certain careers for inspiration.(2:24) For me, that's very inspiring and very motivating, what he's been able to accomplish. (2:27) On the basketball court, but then also he won an Academy Award for Storytelling. (2:31) Dear Basketball is the name of it.(2:33) And RIP to Kobe. (2:35) Okay. (2:36) In studying him and the Mamba mentality, it's very obvious that he doesn't fully understand what it's like to doubt the long-term capabilities that he has.(2:50) And I've been contemplating this a lot lately. (2:53) What if, on some level, the people who do have undying self-belief, what if it is actually a calculation? (3:03) So, I don't have any self-belief whatsoever that I could be the strongest man on earth.(3:09) Zero. (3:10) Zero percent. (3:11) And I'm saying that authentically, genuinely.(3:13) Now, can I get stronger than I am? (3:15) Absolutely. (3:16) Can I get stronger than the average bear?(3:18) Absolutely. (3:19) But can I be the strongest man on earth? (3:20) The answer is absolutely not.(3:21) You mean the average human, not the average bear bear, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(3:24) Obviously. (3:25) Sort of, not necessarily. (3:27) That's it, that's it.(3:28) Shout out to Amy on the team. (3:29) And that's Amy saying that, you know, you're a typical bear. (3:32) We're talking about human beings here.(3:33) I just want to make sure everybody knows that.

Alan Lazaros

(3:34) Thank you for that.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:35) Because you're not going to get stronger than the average bear, son. (3:37) No, no, no. (3:38) No.

Alan Lazaros

(3:38) That, I meant humans.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:40) I know that now.

Alan Lazaros

(3:41) So, in this metaphor, I contemplated this years ago, what if people do believe in themselves, not the right amount, but closer to what they should? (3:55) I'll give you an example. (3:57) Growing up, I would be in math class, and I would be really smarter than everyone else in the math class.(4:04) And I didn't even really have to try that hard. (4:06) So, for me, my brain probably went, oh, you're good at math, so you should believe in yourself more. (4:12) It wasn't conscious.(4:13) None of this was conscious. (4:15) And then, in athletics, on the track field, I was this prepubescent little fucking loser, quite frankly. (4:21) And I would see, you remember, I'll use first names only, but you know who I'm talking about, Alex?(4:27) Yes. (4:28) Really good at track. (4:29) The best.(4:29) I mean, this dude, the best. (4:31) Yeah. (4:31) Just an animal.(4:32) I could not do what this good dude could do, and it didn't seem like he had to try that hard. (4:38) I do think that it's very important to understand that self-belief might actually be more tied to your unconscious competency and your genetics than I ever thought. (4:49) And when you listen to a Kobe Bryant, it can be very motivating and inspiring, but be very careful of how educating it actually is, because if he wasn't six foot seven and played basketball since he was seven and have his dad was in the NBA, then there's no way he would have been the best basketball player of all time.(5:09) There's a lot of stars that have to align for you to be the best in the world at something, and I think it's very inspiring and motivating to learn from the best, but it also needs to be filtered.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:17) I think that is one of the best thoughts ever, is if it's super inspirational and motivational, it's probably not educational at all. (5:25) Which is why I'm so boring. (5:27) It's a blanket statement, but I could drop some fire one-liners that are fucking useless.(5:35) It's not gonna do anything for you. (5:37) Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you're amongst the stars. (5:39) No, you're fucking dead.(5:41) You're dead. (5:42) If you miss the moon, you just keep going. (5:44) And the stars are bad.(5:48) Um, it'll all work out. (5:50) You're exactly where you're supposed to be at the right time, or where you're meant to be. (5:54) All of that, it's just justification for circumstances.(5:59) That's all, that's all. (6:01) Am I right? (6:03) There's two ways to do it.(6:04) I say all the time, I don't think I should be more successful than I am. (6:08) You could flip that and say, well, Kev, then you're essentially saying you are where you're supposed to be. (6:12) No, I'm saying I am where I am based on my effort.

Alan Lazaros

(6:16) And your choices, and, and, and.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:18) Everything.

Alan Lazaros

(6:19) My lack of knowledge, my lack of. (6:20) The last 36 years have compounded choices and circumstances.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:24) But not, well, we didn't get that client because we weren't supposed to. (6:30) No, we didn't get the client because I didn't say the right shit.

Alan Lazaros

(6:33) And they didn't send a good email.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:35) Or they weren't ready, but it's not. (6:38) Or it was the wrong price. (6:39) There's something, right?(6:40) There has to be, there has to be something. (6:42) The reason I like this type of episode is because Alan and I are very different when it comes to this. (6:49) And Alan has insane self-belief.(6:50) And I have more self-belief than I ever have. (6:52) But I did not start that way.

Alan Lazaros

(6:54) Can we, can we talk about what is different with self-belief than without it? (6:58) You've lived both.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:00) I think it's two things. (7:02) It's one, your ability to pick a shot and then take it. (7:09) Paired up with your ability to pick yourself up after that shot doesn't work.(7:13) And then that just reinforces it forever. (7:17) I imagine, you probably have imagined this a million times. (7:24) This is relatively new for me.(7:25) But I imagine how challenging it must be to go play a sport or perform anything in front of like 50,000 people. (7:34) I just imagine how much pressure that must be. (7:40) Then I imagine how much pressure it must be to be the person who has the last shot or the guitar solo or the keynote speaker for that.(7:48) And then the last piece I think of is when it goes horribly wrong, how much belief you have to be, have and how much pressure there must be for you to go do that again. (7:58) I think most people only think about how much you must have to get there in the first place. (8:04) But I think that's the difference between somebody who gets there and then somebody who stays there and then somebody who's remembered there is how much self-belief they have.(8:10) I really do. (8:11) So one, it creates the vision and the ability to choose a shot and say, you know what? (8:20) I'm gonna try this and see what happens.(8:22) And then number two, I think it's the reason you pick yourself back up after it goes horribly wrong. (8:27) If it does, then you have that as a lesson and then you can continue. (8:31) Then you can take a better shot next time, essentially.

Alan Lazaros

(8:34) One of our, Matt, shout out to Matt. (8:36) He crushed his first bodybuilding competition. (8:39) Won his class and his overall, absolutely killed it.(8:42) Everyone else was super pumped for him. (8:44) And I was pumped for him too, but I had a different perspective. (8:47) I said, brother, that means you should have been doing this years ago.(8:50) You're not supposed to win your first one. (8:53) To me, you overcooked the turkey. (8:55) You should have been doing this years and years and years and years ago.(8:59) Of course, but that, you're missing the infinite game.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:01) What if it was his only one, though? (9:03) Yeah, but that was his.

Alan Lazaros

(9:04) Then he did a great job. (9:04) If it's his only one, then he did a great job. (9:06) But that's also silly, kind of.(9:09) It depends how you look at it, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(9:11) Yeah, I understand.

Alan Lazaros

(9:13) Hello, hello, hello, NLU listener. (9:16) Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. (9:19) Real quick, I just wanna jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner.(9:23) This is a journal that I use every single day. (9:27) Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. (9:29) It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones, and daily habits.(9:35) We hope you enjoy it. (9:36) The link will be in the show notes. (9:39) So if you wanna be a bodybuilder and have that be your career, then you definitely fuckin' waited too long, okay?(9:46) If you just wanna do a one-off and see if you can do it for self-belief, that's wonderful, then you did exactly what you should've done, strong fuckin' work. (9:53) But back when I was doing fitness shows, I thought I'd do competitions through my 30s and all that kind of stuff. (9:59) I've obviously pivoted business, all that stuff.(10:01) As I started to learn my strength zone, I started to realize my brain was of far more value than my body. (10:07) And as much as that pisses me off, because obviously- What was that like?

Kevin Palmieri

(10:11) What was it like? (10:12) I remember you and I had a conversation, and it was a very real conversation. (10:18) It was like, dude, you're never gonna do another fitness show again.(10:21) There's no way. (10:22) There's no, maybe later, later in life, but there's no fucking way we're gonna be able to build this business and do an episode every day and you do a fitness show. (10:31) What was that like letting that go?(10:32) Makes me so sad. (10:34) Still? (10:35) Oh yeah, I could cry.

Alan Lazaros

(10:36) You think about it often? (10:37) All the time.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:38) Every day. (10:39) I don't, I forgot about that. (10:40) So here's the thing.

Alan Lazaros

(10:40) I can't stand the fact that I only get one life. (10:44) If it was up to me, I would've been a professional snowboarder, and I would've been a fitness model, and I would've been the top men's physique fitness athlete on the planet, natural. (10:55) And so I've had to, this pisses me off to no end, to be completely honest.(11:00) This bothers me every single day. (11:02) I wanna be the best father I can be. (11:04) I wanna be the best partner I can be.(11:06) I wanna be the best business owner I can be. (11:08) I wanna be the best coach, trainer, and podcast I can be. (11:11) I had the amount of dreams that I have.(11:15) One of the things that bothers me, so you had an opposite issue, and this is gonna be very outing for me. (11:21) I appreciate you, man. (11:22) Okay, back in the day, you were concerned that you wouldn't be able to do much.(11:27) That was your concern. (11:28) For me, I was like, how the fuck do I choose? (11:31) How the fuck do I choose?(11:33) I could, the world is my oyster. (11:35) I could do anything within reason, within reason. (11:38) And this is the pros and cons conversation.(11:41) If you have a really, a lot of self-belief and it's crowded and it's real, there's very little given a couple decades that I don't believe I could do if I really wanted to. (11:52) I feel like I could be the top 1% in many things. (11:55) If I, give me some decades.(11:56) I'm talking not just fucking overnight, okay?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:59) But how the fuck? (12:00) And the same amount of focus you've put into this of like getting rid of everything. (12:03) So if you- Getting rid of everything else.(12:05) Yeah, if Ellen decided tomorrow, I'm gonna be the best marathoner, this podcast goes away.

Alan Lazaros

(12:10) It's done.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:10) Completely. (12:10) We don't do this anymore.

Alan Lazaros

(12:11) And I really do believe I could do that. (12:13) For my age group, for my age group. (12:16) But I'd have to can almost everything else.(12:18) That bothers me every fucking day. (12:21) Because I don't wanna just be a fucking business coach. (12:24) I'm posting fitness content.(12:25) It drives you nuts. (12:26) I don't care. (12:28) I love fitness.(12:29) I'm not gonna be a fucking fitness model again, but I can't fucking stand the fact that I have to pigeonhole myself into one thing. (12:36) It drives me nuts. (12:38) And you kinda do if you wanna be the best in the world with something.(12:41) You're not gonna be an Olympic. (12:43) I'll share this. (12:44) Michael Phelps was an Olympic, the best Olympian in history.(12:49) Arguably. (12:50) Not even arguably. (12:51) 28 medals, 23 gold.(12:53) Now, swimming is the only sport you can do that. (12:57) It's not like you can be the best sprinter and the best marathoner. (13:01) Whereas with swimming, there's the butterfly.(13:04) I don't think a lot of people reverse engineered Michael Phelps' career. (13:07) I've studied his entire career. (13:09) You can't have 23 gold medals in fucking discus.(13:14) And people don't realize it's, well, that's not really fair necessarily because all you have to do is get really, really, really good at swimming. (13:23) And again, I'm not taking anything from Michael Phelps. (13:25) Shout out to you, man.(13:26) Holy shit. (13:27) What you've done is unbelievable. (13:28) But it's not like you can do that in any other sport other than swimming.(13:31) And I don't think a lot of people have maybe engineered that in their head. (13:35) You've seen me swim? (13:37) One time, yeah.(13:38) Almost died. (13:40) You literally said, you're like, that was dangerous. (13:42) I never once thought that was dangerous at all.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:45) Those weeds wanted me. (13:46) They wanted a chunky tree.

Alan Lazaros

(13:48) I would have saved you, I promise.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:49) I appreciate it, but I probably wouldn't even let you know I was suffering. (13:52) You'd have been like, dude, are you good? (13:53) I am fine.(13:54) I'm fine. (13:55) Just treading water. (13:56) Okay.(13:57) The reason I wanted to do this episode is that, because that is better than any, if you resonate more with Alan of, there's just not enough time to do all the things that I feel like I can do. (14:09) You probably have really high self-belief. (14:11) Probably have really high self-belief.(14:12) And good for you. (14:13) And there are downsides with everything, right?

Alan Lazaros

(14:15) You have to focus. (14:16) If that does resonate, you have to hone, unfortunately. (14:20) Otherwise, you will massively leave opportunity on the table.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:24) On my end, to Alan's point, it was very much, I don't think I'm gonna be good at anything. (14:29) I'm gonna find the one thing that maybe I'm naturally good at, and I'm gonna go all in with Alan's help on that. (14:35) And that's why, no matter what, it'll be in podcasting.(14:39) No matter what, it'll be in speaking. (14:41) No matter what, it'll be in content creation. (14:44) Outside of that, I'm okay at snowboarding.(14:47) I'm okay at baseball. (14:48) I'm okay at basketball. (14:49) I'm okay at a lot of things.(14:50) I can do a front flip dive in the pool. (14:53) Pretty athletic double back flips on the trampoline. (14:55) But not enough to move the needle towards mastery on that.(15:00) Figure out what side you resonate with the most, and that is a really good indicator on where you're starting from. (15:06) Maybe some of you have more self-belief than you think. (15:08) Maybe some of you have less, and you've never been willing to admit it.(15:11) Or you have more and you've never been willing to admit it. (15:12) The reason I wanted to do a part two is because I wanted to dive into the human aspect of it. (15:17) Wrap this with a bow, because you have to go.

Alan Lazaros

(15:22) There's a theoretical scientific mathematical concept called multidisciplinary optimization, which means trying to get world class at several things simultaneously. (15:35) One of the things that's so hard about this is that every skill has a bunch of sub-skills. (15:39) So effective communication, there's 25 things, in my opinion, you have to get really good at underneath that one skill.(15:46) So it's skills, sub-skills, and then sub-sub-skills, and then there's meta-skills. (15:50) It's a whole fucking thing. (15:51) What I would share is that being the best communicator in the world is a full-time job, and you're not gonna be able to do that and win Olympic gold medals on the side.(16:01) It's just not a thing. (16:03) So what you can do is try to hone, and I do this all the time with Clarity Sessions, I did this recently, shout out to Keegan. (16:09) There's a circle, there's a triangle with three subjects, there's one word in the center, and then there's the three vehicles.(16:15) So wrap this in a bow, here we go. (16:16) I, Alan Lazarus, help people reach their potential in fitness, personal development, and business through the vehicles of coaching, training, and podcasting. (16:22) Everything outside of that lane, I've decided in advance to let go of.(16:26) Clarity's everything. (16:27) When you have clarity, you will be very, very, very successful over time if you stick with it and build.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:34) Simplest bow for me, if you have low self-belief, set a goal that is just outside of your current self-belief. (16:41) Doesn't have to be big, it shouldn't be massive. (16:43) I don't think it should really scare you that much.(16:45) It shouldn't scare you to the point of not doing it. (16:47) If you're on the other end and you have really high self-belief, go fucking fail, because you'll get up better and you'll be fine. (16:55) You'll be fine, that is a very awesome ability and or privilege to have.(17:00) Last, last, last thing, each side comes with downsides. (17:02) So make sure you get familiar with the upsides as well as you do the downsides. (17:06) All right, cool.(17:06) As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we are gonna be here every single day trying to help you get there. (17:18) Keep reaching for your full potential, Next Level Nation. (17:23) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(17:27) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(17:30) We mean it when we say family. (17:32) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (17:35) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(17:39) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.