What Pattern Is Running You? (2171)

Rewrite the rhyme, break the pattern. In this real and emotional episode, Kevin and Alan take a hard look at the cycles that shape our choices, from chasing careers to finding lasting meaning. Kevin shares the pivotal moments of his journey, while Alan breaks down the hidden strengths and weaknesses in these patterns. Together, they show how reflection, courage, and facing your deepest fears can transform old cycles into powerful growth.

Digital Asset:
The Hero’s Journey - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fOnbgmMBI9Ijn-EKa8FyYmTFelL_-lu4/view?usp=drive_link

Free 30-minute Business Breakthrough Session with Alan -https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-free-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04
Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin -https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:18) Seeing life through your story
(4:20) Strengths and weaknesses of patterns
(7:05) What you create, creates you
(9:00) Level up with NLU: Join our free virtual Monthly Meet-up event every first Thursday for powerful insights, real tools, and unstoppable growth. https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/XAKkZd2DSw6G3NMlxL67vA#/registration
(11:00) Facing fears for fulfillment
(13:20) Final lessons and reflections
(15:15) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:18 Seeing life through your story
• 4:20 Strengths and weaknesses of patterns
• 7:05 What you create, creates you
• 9:00 Level up with NLU: Join our free virtual Monthly Meet-up event every first Thursday for powerful insights, real tools, and unstoppable growth.
• 11:00 Facing fears for fulfillment
• 13:20 Final lessons and reflections
• 15:15 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Who knew a deep talk after a wedding could reveal so much truth?

Alan Lazaros

(0:06) I have no idea what we're going to talk about on this episode. (0:09) I felt it when Kevin was talking to me behind the scenes, and we'll see what happens.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:13) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:16) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:18) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:21) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:27) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:34) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:50) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:56) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:02) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2171, what pattern is running you? (1:08) This is going to be a quick hitter, we're going to give you the value, and then we're going to get you the hell up on out of here.(1:13) Alan, I can hear myself in your headphones, if you could just adjust them. (1:16) Thank you so much, I appreciate it. (1:17) Not for me, for you, whether you're watching or listening.(1:19) Okay, Matt's wedding was last weekend. (1:22) I went and we tore it up, it was a party, awesome. (1:25) At the end of the night, I was hanging outside with a buddy, Wally, and he was talking about how he had been applying for jobs recently.(1:33) And he said, dude, it's so interesting. (1:35) When I go apply for a job and they ask me about my story and my work history, and if I have family and all that, he's like, it's so weird to see my history, and to see my patterns. (1:46) And I was on a podcast last week, and these are my favorite podcasts, where they just take you through your entire story, Yeah.(1:53) And you go in depth at every point. (1:57) This is my pattern. (1:58) Cheat code.(1:58) Cheat code. (1:59) And again, the reason I want to do this episode, oh, I just got boogers on the mic. (2:03) The reason I want to do this episode is because we get to tell our stories every day, essentially.(2:09) And when you tell your story enough, you start to catch the patterns. (2:15) And I was crying after. (2:17) After I did this interview, I was crying.(2:18) I was like, my life's been kind of fucking hard. (2:20) Like, harder than I thought. (2:21) And again, first world problems.(2:24) I'm a white male in the US, so like, I understand. (2:27) Comparatively, not so much. (2:29) But more than I thought.(2:30) Okay, high school. (2:32) Decided not to go to college. (2:34) Wanted to be a professional fighter.(2:35) Fucked my shoulder up. (2:37) Realized this thing that I think will be super fulfilling, and that I really want to commit myself to is not realistic. (2:43) Got a job at a hospital cleaning bathrooms overnight.(2:49) Fuck this. (2:49) This is terrible. (2:50) I hate this.(2:51) What would be fulfilling? (2:52) I'm gonna be a personal trainer. (2:53) That would be the most fulfilling thing ever.(2:55) I'm into fitness. (2:56) I love that. (2:57) Go do personal training for a year.(2:58) Realized they just want me to make people feel bad, so they buy packages. (3:01) Fuck this. (3:01) I'm out.(3:02) Not interested. (3:03) Need to find another job. (3:05) I'll go operate a forklift and drive a truck.(3:07) I can do that. (3:07) Cool. (3:08) Fuck this.(3:09) This is terrible. (3:10) I hate this. (3:11) This is the worst.(3:11) What would be fulfilling? (3:13) Firefighting. (3:15) Can't think of a more fulfilling thing.(3:16) Giving back. (3:17) That'd be amazing. (3:18) Go through the fire academy.(3:20) Graduate. (3:21) Realize, no way, this is for me. (3:23) Fuck.(3:24) I gotta go find something else.

Alan Lazaros

(3:26) Weatherization. (3:26) When did you realize that?

Kevin Palmieri

(3:27) When I rolled up to somebody's car on fire at three o'clock in the morning and connected the hose to the wrong outlet. (3:33) That was when I realized this wasn't for me. (3:35) I should ask more questions in the academy.(3:36) God. (3:37) If you're a firefighter out there, shout out to you. (3:39) Thank you for what you do.(3:42) Weatherization. (3:44) I'm gonna go save energy. (3:47) Fuck yeah.(3:48) Money's good. (3:48) Fuck yeah. (3:50) This is the key to happiness.(3:51) Wrong. (3:52) Nope. (3:52) That is not it.(3:53) The second I lost the allure of like, oh, this is the thing. (3:58) This is the thing. (3:59) Fuck this.(3:59) I'm out. (4:00) Sorry I'm swearing so much. (4:01) I'm fired up today.(4:02) Start the podcast. (4:04) Start the podcast. (4:06) This is it.(4:08) This is, this is the fighting. (4:11) This is the personal training. (4:13) This is the fire academy.(4:15) This is all of the things that I couldn't do before. (4:17) I didn't know how. (4:18) I couldn't stick with it, whatever it is.(4:20) My pattern is I jump from what's accessible to me to what almost isn't accessible to me at all unless I change everything about myself. (4:32) That is the pattern I've been running since I was like 12 years old.

Alan Lazaros

(4:36) Okay. (4:37) Yeah. (4:38) Now that you recognize the pattern, you realize there are strengths and weaknesses.(4:43) There are, there's a superpower in there that comes with a kryptonite. (4:48) There's a huge strength in there that comes with a huge weakness.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:52) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(4:53) What is the pattern? (4:57) What is the strength and the weakness? (4:59) And then what do you do now?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:01) I would ask you from your perspective, what's the strength and what's the weakness? (5:05) Of you? (5:05) Yeah.(5:06) Of that. (5:07) No, it doesn't have to be, we don't have to personalize it to me, but yeah, based on that.

Alan Lazaros

(5:12) One of them is quick implementation, taking action and just jumping in. (5:20) You just jump right in the pool, man. (5:23) You've always done that.(5:24) Yeah. (5:25) But you don't understand the long-term implications of it. (5:29) And I think a lot of people don't.(5:31) So sorry, I said that so pretentiously.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:33) It's okay.

Alan Lazaros

(5:33) I asked. (5:34) I do feel like my decision-making usually calculates what comes with it. (5:39) So I think the strength is you take action very quickly.(5:43) You get new awareness. (5:44) Well, you get in a spot you don't like and you quickly take action to get out of it. (5:48) Yeah.(5:49) The strength is quick implementation. (5:52) The weakness is long-term strategic thinking. (5:55) I would say that makes sense.(5:56) Yeah. (5:56) You're not thinking long-term and you never really were. (5:59) And that has been alarming.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:02) I was thinking of like fulfillment and what was different. (6:06) I wouldn't even call it fulfillment because I didn't know what that was, but it was like meaningful. (6:10) I've been searching for meaning, searching for meaning, searching for meaning.(6:13) I've always searched for meaning. (6:14) I just never find a way to sustainably do it ever. (6:18) I want to write greeting cards at one point.(6:20) Did you know that? (6:21) I literally... (6:22) It makes a lot of sense.(6:23) I wanted to write greeting cards because it was like, I can rhyme. (6:26) This is a fucking joke. (6:28) I can fucking...(6:29) What do you mean? (6:30) Of course I could do that. (6:32) You know?(6:33) It's been six years since I've seen you. (6:35) I miss you in the worst way. (6:36) Today I'm thinking of you, wishing you a happy birthday.(6:40) Right off the top. (6:41) You know? (6:42) How hard could it be?(6:43) Throw a little bear in there. (6:44) We're off to the races. (6:45) Here we go.

Alan Lazaros

(6:46) Oh, you just made me think of Mr. Deeds. (6:48) It's a ridiculous... (6:50) This was before Mr. Deeds, believe it or not. (6:53) He had some funny ones in there. (6:57) For the listeners, the only wrong answer is to not re-watch the movie of your own life. (7:05) One thing, Anthony Trucks was someone we met in 2019.(7:12) Yes. (7:12) And he said, what you create, creates you. (7:16) One of the best things ever said.(7:18) What you build, builds you. (7:20) What you create, creates you. (7:24) The resume that you build, builds you.(7:27) The career that you build, builds you. (7:30) So you have to be very careful. (7:32) Jim Rohn used to say, don't worry so much about what you're being paid here.(7:38) Worry about what you're becoming here. (7:42) And for me, I was always focused on building my career and having a large impact. (7:50) But I didn't understand that everything I do and don't do is building me.(7:57) The person I become, the man I become. (8:01) And someone asked me on a podcast recently, what's your favorite episode of the 2200? (8:06) And I couldn't fucking answer.(8:08) I always mention the 1000 episode because we both cried. (8:14) And I think the deep reservoir of emotion kind of came spilling out, which I think was powerful. (8:20) Although I haven't listened to it in a while.(8:21) I'm sure it would be cringeworthy.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:22) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(8:24) But I couldn't pick one. (8:25) And the reason why, and we got to jump, is because I said all of them have built me into the man I am now. (8:35) I said every episode, we contemplate a little bit.(8:39) We have a conversation about a little something. (8:41) We think of something a little different. (8:44) We think differently.(8:45) We change our beliefs. (8:46) What we say, think, do, feel, and believe shifts a little bit every episode. (8:50) And it's made me into a man I'm proud to be.(8:53) So what you create creates you. (8:55) 2200 episodes have built us into the men we are today. (9:01) NLU listener, what is happening?(9:03) I just wanted to jump in here and let you know, if you want to get to the next level faster, we have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. (9:12) You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. (9:17) The link to register will be in the show notes.(9:21) Look back at your past if you're not a podcaster and you don't have to tell your story. (9:27) Look up something called the hero's journey. (9:30) I have a digital asset.(9:31) I'll send it to the team and we'll put it in the show notes. (9:34) Check that out. (9:36) You are the hero of your own story.(9:39) And the hero's journey is how you go from victim villain to hero to guide and how you go from girl to man, girl to boy, girl to woman, sorry, or anything you want also. (9:54) Girl to woman and boy to man. (9:57) Wow.(9:58) And it's how you become an eloquent speaker. (10:01) Real talk though. (10:02) The reason movies and TV shows and books resonate deeply with who we are is because we see the hero's journey.(10:14) We see life's challenges and we see our patterns and we see ourselves in these characters. (10:20) We've all seen a villain in a movie and identified with something about them. (10:24) And those are actually the best villains in films because it's, I kind of understand what happened there.(10:29) I don't, it's not right. (10:31) And I'm not going to choose to be a villain, but I kind of understand why he or she is doing that shit because of what happened to them and blah, blah, blah. (10:39) Now, I think we all have a choice.(10:41) And I think ultimately you have to find your cycles. (10:44) And the only way to do that is to reflect. (10:46) And so if not do therapy, because therapy is basically just reviewing your entire past.(10:50) And then you realize, oh, okay, that's why I did that. (10:53) And that's why I did that. (10:54) And that's why I did that.(10:54) And you find out what's truly motivating you. (10:56) And then when you realize what's truly motivating you, it's usually your deepest fear. (11:00) And then when you realize that you go, oh, I have to face that fear inside of me in order to achieve my goals and dreams.(11:08) Otherwise you have to, you can achieve, you can achieve, I think vanity dreams without facing your deepest fears. (11:20) I don't think you can be fully fulfilled without facing your deepest fears.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:25) I would say that's probably accurate. (11:28) Unfortunately, if only it was that easy.

Alan Lazaros

(11:32) Go ahead, you. (11:33) No, no, you. (11:34) You told all that.(11:36) You understand now your pattern. (11:39) How do you break it? (11:40) How do you change it?(11:41) How do you transform it? (11:42) Transform it. (11:42) Yeah.(11:43) How do you take the old cycle and transform it into something more constructive?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:46) I think for me, I would just plant seeds and not actually water them. (11:51) I said this on a show the other day. (11:53) They were like, oh, you could probably could have been a fighter, right?(11:55) No, I didn't fucking try hard enough. (11:57) No. (11:58) What if you did try?(11:59) I think I could have. (12:01) I agree.

Alan Lazaros

(12:01) But I didn't. (12:02) I didn't. (12:03) So it doesn't matter.(12:04) Last thing, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I said this recently. (12:07) If Kevin looks back at his past, there are certain things that he, if he was honest and not saying he's not honest, but if he was saying this out loud, he would say, I regret not watering those seeds more. (12:19) Dude, I regret watering seeds too much.(12:23) That's fair. (12:24) We have the same. (12:25) No, we have two different regrets.(12:28) I regret not having the courage to move on quicker. (12:34) And you regret quitting too soon. (12:37) And I think that that's really powerful because we've driven to five and I'm willing to move on from certain relationships that I've had to, and you're willing to not quit this endeavor, even though you've had a really hard time.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:50) It's been a challenge. (12:51) It's been a challenge in the grand scheme of things. (12:53) Like, I don't know.(12:54) This hasn't been as hard as a lot of things when you go back and look at it, like in ways it has, but that's the lesson. (13:00) That's the takeaway before we get out of here. (13:01) I know not everybody has the reason or the necessity to go back, but if you were to highlight like the five most challenging or the five most transformational or the things that made you who you are today, that is my pattern.(13:18) Find a dream, try it and say, fuck it. (13:22) I don't care. (13:23) There's no plan B.(13:24) There's no plan C. (13:26) This is it. (13:26) I'll figure it out.(13:27) Shit. (13:28) Okay. (13:28) I need to find a new plan.(13:30) Eh, this one will work for a while. (13:32) I've done that my entire life.

Alan Lazaros

(13:33) Do you think that's why you have the Instagram handle neverquitkid? (13:36) Because you feel like you quit too quickly?

Kevin Palmieri

(13:39) No. (13:41) No, that's not why I came up with it. (13:43) I came up with it for the opposite, baby.

Alan Lazaros

(13:46) No, but that's my point. (13:47) It's, I would never have an Instagram handle of neverquitkid because if anything, I regret not quitting certain things sooner.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:54) Yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(13:54) Whereas what if that was your highest self saying, don't quit, Kevin?

Kevin Palmieri

(13:59) It probably, you probably are more capable than you think if you don't quit. (14:03) I think for me, it was in the micro. (14:05) I never really quit in the micro.(14:08) It was like, oh, I can, I can deal with it. (14:11) I can deal with it. (14:11) It was just like, I don't know if I can actually do this.(14:14) I could survive. (14:15) I just don't know if I can thrive. (14:16) It was always that for me.(14:18) It was always that. (14:19) So that's the takeaway. (14:20) Sit down and reflect.(14:21) If you had five inflection points that have led you to where you are today, find those. (14:25) And if you don't know those, this is going to be a freaking unlock. (14:28) And there's also going to be some pain buried in there too, unfortunately.(14:32) So that is my next level lesson for you all. (14:35) Do you want to add one quickly?

Alan Lazaros

(14:36) My next level lesson is look at your Instagram handle. (14:41) Look at your passwords. (14:42) Look at your patterns.(14:45) Look at the things from your past that you ran from or things you were drawn to. (14:51) And analyze it from a place of fear. (14:53) Maybe you were afraid to be abandoned.(14:55) Maybe you were afraid to quit. (14:57) Maybe you were afraid of failure. (14:58) Maybe you were afraid of success.(14:59) Maybe you were afraid of embarrassment or judgment. (15:03) Most likely there's deep pain in your past that caused you to run in the opposite direction when in reality, you're going to have to face that. (15:10) And when you do, you do free yourself.(15:12) It's quite remarkable, actually.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:14) All right. (15:15) As always, we love you. (15:16) We appreciate you.(15:17) Grateful for each and every one of you. (15:18) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we're going to be here literally every single day to help you get there. (15:26) Keep reaching your full potential.(15:28) Next Level Nation. (15:31) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (15:35) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(15:38) We mean it when we say family. (15:40) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (15:43) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(15:47) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:47) And we will talk to you tomorrow.