When You Learn To Need Nothing, You Can Get Everything (2172)

What if the very things you think you need are holding you back from the life you want? In today’s powerful conversation, Kevin and Alan challenge the idea of success built on status, money, or validation, and reveal why letting go of those “needs” can actually unlock everything you’ve been chasing. From tough sacrifices and humble beginnings to redefining relationships and wealth, they share personal stories that prove freedom comes when you stop clinging to what doesn’t matter. This episode will challenge your perspective, spark self-reflection, and remind you that real abundance starts within.

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Show notes:
(2:24) Choosing values over appearances
(4:46) Sacrifice and building from zero
(6:06) Freedom from status and significance
(8:50) Level up with NLU: Join our free virtual Monthly Meet-up event every first Thursday for powerful insights, real tools, and unstoppable growth. https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/XAKkZd2DSw6G3NMlxL67vA#/registration
(9:48) Why self-belief is essential
(13:28) Sacrificing lifestyle for future gains
(16:15) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:24 Choosing values over appearances
• 4:46 Sacrifice and building from zero
• 6:06 Freedom from status and significance
• 8:50 Level up with NLU: Join our free virtual Monthly Meet-up event every first Thursday for powerful insights, real tools, and unstoppable growth.
• 9:48 Why self-belief is essential
• 13:28 Sacrificing lifestyle for future gains
• 16:15 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Honestly, I don't necessarily fully believe what we're going to talk about today, so Alan is going to sell me on it because I'm not there yet. (0:08) When you learn to need nothing, you have the ability to have everything. (0:14) We're going to talk about it.(0:15) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:17) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:19) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:22) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dreamchasers. (0:29) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (0:36) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.(0:51) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (0:58) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:03) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2172.(1:07) When you learn to need nothing, you can get everything. (1:10) This was Alan's idea. (1:12) And I was like, I don't know, man.(1:15) I don't know about all that. (1:17) And he said, come on, dude, let's do it. (1:18) Let's do it.(1:18) Let's try to unpack it. (1:19) Let's dive in. (1:22) Let's explore.(1:23) And here we are. (1:24) First step. (1:25) Yes.(1:25) When you learn to need nothing, you'll have everything. (1:28) It's something I used to say 10 years ago. (1:31) I continued to say it eight years ago.(1:33) And then over time, I stopped saying it because I realized there's too many layers. (1:36) And I never explained it fully. (1:38) When I say, when you learn to need nothing, you'll have everything, what is your initial thought?(1:48) Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. (1:50) That's kind of the first initial thought. (1:52) Excellent.(1:53) Okay. (1:53) All right. (1:54) So let me unpack another layer.(1:57) Can I give you why? (1:58) Can I give you why? (1:59) Because it does not suggest, it literally suggests, and I know you're not suggesting this, it literally suggests lack of action.(2:08) It's like, well, when you need for nothing, abundance will come to you. (2:15) No, no, no. (2:16) That's bullshit.(2:17) I know. (2:18) That's the vibe I get. (2:19) Nice.(2:20) Okay. (2:20) Let me unpack it. (2:24) I, before I met Emilia, decided in advance by myself alone at the concessions of a Taylor Swift concert, that I would be alone for the rest of my life until I found a woman who had bigger goals and dreams than me, because I was sick and tired of being in the pain in the ass.(2:43) And I was willing to be alone for the rest of my life. (2:46) I remember having this conscious conversation. (2:48) Alan, from now on, you will never make your intimate decisions with women based on only looks.(2:54) You will do it based on mental, emotional, and spiritual connection. (2:57) And she has to have, I'm heterosexual. (2:59) So she has to have bigger goals and dreams than me.(3:03) So I was willing to be alone for the rest of my life if I had to. (3:07) And I faced that inside of me. (3:09) And this was different than any time before.(3:11) Before, I loved being in a relationship. (3:13) I didn't want to be alone. (3:14) I hated being alone.(3:16) And then I met Emilia eight months later. (3:20) And you and I had had a conversation, like, who has bigger goals and dreams than you, man? (3:24) Like, good luck.(3:25) And I was like, I don't know, but it has to exist. (3:28) And when I first started dating her, she was shaking when she told me her goals. (3:34) They were way bigger than mine.(3:36) And I was on the Forbes list right after that, looking it up. (3:39) But I had to do it and reverse engineer immediately, which is one of the reasons why I've had to work so fucking hard over the last however many years. (3:46) Because what guys do, for any of the women listening, what guys do is when you say a dream and we love you, we basically take it on our own fucking shoulders and, like, make it happen.(3:54) And then we get stressed and blame you. (3:58) Not if we're emotionally mature. (4:00) So I had to learn to not need love in order to have aligned love.(4:07) If I need Emilia, I have to hold her too tightly and I have to make sure she's a certain way versus I want to be with Emilia and I'm okay even if not. (4:18) It's a paradox. (4:20) One more example.(4:22) I told the story about, to a client recently, how I was behind Walmart. (4:27) It was a Target, actually. (4:29) It's a Target.(4:30) I was behind a Target in my 2009 Subaru with the AC broken, doing coaching sessions back to backs all day on a Tuesday. (4:41) Because it was the only place I could stay focused. (4:45) And I was sweating all day.(4:47) I was doing fitness coaching. (4:48) I had back-to-back clients. (4:49) And I remember thinking, this is horrible.(4:52) This is the worst. (4:54) But I did it. (4:58) And we wouldn't have gotten to where we are today if I wasn't willing to sacrifice lifestyle.(5:05) So when I say, when you learn to need nothing, you'll have everything. (5:10) Kevin and I gave up jobs that paid a lot of money in order to chase this dream. (5:17) And we've far surpassed how much we've ever made in the past.(5:21) But only because we were willing to start back at zero. (5:24) And it's not really zero because obviously you take your skills and you take your awareness and you take your beliefs and you take your everything. (5:31) But you don't take the money with you.(5:34) And so I had $150,000 in a Vanguard account in all different tech stocks. (5:39) And it was growing. (5:40) And I had to liquidate, liquidate, liquidate, liquidate.(5:42) Basically, I had to use all that money to keep us afloat. (5:46) And we went past zero. (5:47) The first year in business, Kevin and I made no money.(5:50) The second year in business, we made $13,000 between the two of us. (5:55) We had to be willing to live modestly in order to get to where we are now. (6:00) There's no way we could have had your BMW back then.(6:03) So when you learn to need nothing, you'll have everything. (6:06) Because you are now free from the need of status and significance and respect. (6:11) Most people didn't respect me back then.(6:13) That's very clear now. (6:14) And now we have respect and status and we're successful and all that. (6:18) But it wouldn't have happened if we weren't willing to start back at loserville.(6:21) What's the thought under that? (6:24) Like, what is the ultimate... (6:26) When you learn to need nothing, what are you essentially doing?(6:30) Okay. (6:32) You're facing the deepest fear of being insignificant and being seen as a loser. (6:38) Which then what?(6:39) And your quality of life is just bad. (6:42) My quality of life was really bad. (6:43) I couldn't afford certain food.

Alan Lazaros

(6:45) Oh yeah, for sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:46) I went from affording whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. (6:50) Like, in high school and college, I was broke. (6:52) And then in corporate, after high school and college, I didn't need much.(6:56) So I just invested all my money. (6:57) I made a ton and I counted cards at casinos and I had paychecks. (7:01) I was so used to being broke, I didn't spend much.(7:05) So I just invested it all. (7:06) I paid off all my college debt. (7:07) My point is though, when you learn how to be broke and you can live on very little, now when you have a lot, it's unbelievable.(7:15) I thought to myself, this shirt looks like a nice shirt. (7:19) This shirt was $27. (7:20) And I realize now in the social world, I shouldn't even say that.(7:26) But that's a cred build for me. (7:28) If you have a $500 shirt, that's a cred hit. (7:30) What do shirts go for?(7:31) I don't even know. (7:32) When you say that, I'm like, I feel like that's pretty expensive. (7:35) Some people like to flex on how expensive their clothes are.(7:38) I think that's very unintelligent personally. (7:40) I know a multimillionaire, $50 million in his bank account. (7:42) He still goes to Walmart for his clothes.(7:46) What I don't think... (7:48) See, this is what I think we're missing. (7:50) And again, this is why we always go deeper, deeper, deeper.(7:53) You got to know how to get the thing though. (7:55) Yeah. (7:56) I didn't unpack that part.(7:58) I feel like that's where... (8:00) This is the same as the gaining weight thing. (8:02) If you won't gain weight unless you know you can lose it.(8:05) Yes. (8:05) That is why I don't think this... (8:08) This can't be the first step.(8:11) What is the first step? (8:13) Strategize on what you want to get first. (8:17) It's like, I think the goal creates the awareness and then the awareness creates the awareness of the fear that's holding you back.(8:25) And then you got to face the fear. (8:26) But you got to know what you want before you can't... (8:28) I don't think you just do this.(8:30) We'll use you because you had to take a huge lifestyle hit in order to do this journey. (8:36) But I never was... (8:36) I was never fucking okay with being broke.(8:40) Ever. (8:41) Yeah, but you had no choice. (8:44) I know, but I never learned to need nothing.(8:46) I just was so frustrated all the time. (8:49) You did though. (8:51) NLU listener, what is happening?(8:53) I just wanted to jump in here and let you know, if you want to get to the next level faster, we have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. (9:02) You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. (9:08) The link to register will be in the show notes.(9:12) Okay, well, you had to learn how to live with less. (9:16) For sure. (9:17) I think that we get very entitled, depending on where you live.(9:25) I have a client who I think... (9:28) She grew up with wealth.

Alan Lazaros

(9:31) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:32) You know, she grew up with a lot of wealth. (9:34) And it's like, listen, too fucking bad. (9:37) You still have running water.(9:38) You have a nice apartment. (9:39) You have a nice car that runs. (9:42) Cut the shit.(9:44) Like, of course you have to sacrifice and work hard. (9:47) What's the deal? (9:48) To me, it all is predicated on self-belief, though.(9:53) If you don't have self-belief, you can't do this. (9:55) And I think oftentimes the people that take this advice closest to heart are the people that don't have self-belief. (10:00) And this masquerades as self-belief for them.(10:05) Yeah. (10:05) And then it gets dangerous. (10:07) People asked me on a podcast recently, they said, like, how did you get through the risk?(10:14) Like, how did you get through the tough times where you doubted whether or not any of this would work? (10:21) And I was like...

Alan Lazaros

(10:23) You never doubted.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:24) I never questioned it.

Alan Lazaros

(10:25) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:25) Not even... (10:26) Now, I want people to... (10:28) Let me actually unpack that, because that sounds too simple.(10:32) There were many moments where I had existential crises about who I am and the approach, but I never questioned that we could be successful podcasters. (10:40) Like, that's a guarantee. (10:44) Being a successful podcaster is a guarantee.(10:47) I wish I had that. (10:48) Because we're both very... (10:50) Well, think about it.(10:50) Really mathematically think about it. (10:52) How could we possibly not be successful? (10:55) We're two capable people.(10:58) Like, someone's a podcaster. (10:59) But you have to know what creates the success. (11:02) And I never did before.(11:05) Yeah. (11:06) I never... (11:06) I have certain clients that the uphill battle for their success is drastically different than the less uphill battle for other people.(11:15) Because they're just... (11:16) They just have better skills. (11:19) Yeah.(11:20) They're just more... (11:21) They're just more aligned to be a successful speaker than maybe somebody else is. (11:25) I was thinking about doing this digital asset at some point.(11:29) You know how people have a 360 degree assessment when you go to a job or whatever? (11:33) I was thinking about it. (11:34) It's 360 degrees horizontal, but then it's 360 degrees vertical.(11:39) And then I want to do 360 degrees... (11:42) It's not like... (11:43) Maybe it's 1080.(11:44) Maybe I'll do a 1080 degree assessment. (11:46) But I was thinking about how do you take... (11:49) Imagine you in this sort of metaphorical round room.(11:53) And I have a camera. (11:53) And I look at you from not just 360, but from every angle. (11:57) It's like this mug if you're on camera.(11:59) I want to see 3D rendering. (12:01) I had a client once in the past that literally had a camera that would... (12:06) You could take this mug on, let's say, amazon.com.(12:09) And you could see everything. (12:11) You could interact with it online. (12:12) I actually think that tech will take off.(12:15) I told him, if you don't do this, this is going to happen. (12:16) So fucking make sure it's you. (12:18) Because that's going to happen one way or another.(12:20) And you can literally look at the bottom of the Nikes. (12:22) And you can look at the laces before you make a purchasing decision. (12:26) So you increase certainty.(12:27) It's like, dude, Amazon, all these companies will pay a lot for this if you do it right. (12:30) I'm not sure he's still doing it. (12:31) But shout out to Tim.(12:33) First names only. (12:34) My point is I want to do that with human beings. (12:37) I feel like we've done that for the last 2200 episodes where we're just looking at every inadequacy.(12:42) Every blind spot. (12:43) Every mistake. (12:44) Every regret.(12:45) Every single thing that might not be optimal. (12:49) And I feel like we've done a really good job at that. (12:55) We're gonna have to do a part two.(12:58) I think. (13:01) Probably. (13:05) Unpack what you know I mean by this quote and then we'll go.(13:09) The. (13:11) The desire for the thing is literally stopping you from. (13:19) Sacrificing all the things you need to do in order to get the thing in the first place.(13:22) Nice. (13:23) That. (13:24) That.(13:24) Nice. (13:25) But it takes a long. (13:26) I feel like it takes a long time to get to that place.(13:28) You had to sacrifice your sports car to get a fucking Mazda. (13:34) It was not nice. (13:35) Shout out.(13:35) What do you mean? (13:36) That was an okay car. (13:36) It was not nice.(13:37) No, it was not. (13:38) It's okay. (13:38) No, it wasn't.(13:39) I had to watch you drive away in a Beamer while I get in your Mazda. (13:41) I appreciate you. (13:42) Of course.(13:43) But anyways, so. (13:44) I felt bad. (13:45) It is.(13:46) That was a shameful moment. (13:47) Forget it is what it is. (13:48) All right.(13:49) But you had to. (13:50) You had a sports car. (13:51) Yes.(13:51) You had to get rid of it in order to be on this entrepreneurial journey back in the day. (13:55) And then you got a Mazda that was a 2014 POS for lack of better phrasing. (14:00) And now you have a $65,000 BMW.(14:03) If you weren't willing to get rid of your old sports car, you never could have built the business that's capable of affording that BMW. (14:09) That is the best example I have. (14:11) And I really do believe that if you have self-belief, and that's a big, if you will sacrifice the now for a bigger, better, brighter future.(14:18) The thing though, that I don't know that other people would say is, dude, I was counting the minutes until I could get out of the Mazda. (14:23) You were? (14:24) Yeah.(14:26) Every fucking day. (14:27) Yes. (14:28) Really?(14:28) Yes. (14:29) Imagining myself in a different car. (14:31) Yes.(14:33) Yes. (14:34) And I'm doing the same thing now. (14:35) You had to give it up.(14:36) I'm doing the same thing now in my car. (14:39) I'm imagining myself in an, I'm grateful. (14:41) Again, super grateful.(14:42) You should do a part two. (14:43) And you should explain why that was so detrimental. (14:46) Because you would think that's a good thing.(14:49) Wanting a really nice car, like your Mercedes, whatever, fucking car, with all the love. (14:57) That you can't get unless you're willing to grind. (15:00) Like you have to sacrifice so much in order to get that car.(15:04) Unless you generational wealth or trust fund or whatever. (15:07) I have neither. (15:08) But exactly.(15:09) So learn to not need that car in order to get that car. (15:14) I would, I think that would be such a powerful. (15:17) We'll do it.(15:17) You almost, you wanting a good lifestyle is almost stopping you from having a good lifestyle. (15:22) If you really unpack the layers of this. (15:24) We're going to, we'll do a longer one where we can unpack the layers.(15:27) Nice. (15:27) But I think this is a really good place to start for sure. (15:30) Well done, man.(15:31) It's a really good place to start. (15:32) If you're looking for a place to start with other humans who are trying and focused and committed to getting to the next level, we will have our link to our private Facebook group, Next Level Nation, excuse me, in the show notes below. (15:43) The book will power.(15:44) We have our conclusion this Saturday. (15:46) After that, we are reading a book called Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke, female author. (15:51) I actually tagged her.(15:52) Maybe we'll have her as a guest speaker. (15:53) We've done that once before with Anthony Trucks and Identity Shift. (15:56) If you are not coming to book club, you are missing out on growth.(15:59) It is a very, very, very intense, powerful, contemplative conversation that I promise you will illuminate massive blind spots for you. (16:10) It's not comfortable. (16:11) It's not fun, but it is unbelievably life-changing.(16:14) The link will be in the show notes. (16:15) As always, we love you. (16:16) We appreciate you.(16:17) Grateful for each and every one of you. (16:19) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will literally be here every day to help you get there. (16:26) Keep reaching for your full potential.(16:27) Next Level Nation. (16:31) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (16:35) We love connecting with the Next Level family.(16:38) We mean it when we say family. (16:40) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (16:43) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(16:46) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.