Next Level University

How Do You Achieve Goals WITHOUT Changing Everything About Yourself (2178)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Share episode

Is success worth chasing if it costs your true self? In this episode, Kevin and Alan uncover how to achieve your goals without losing your identity. They share why some people live to work while others work to live, and how the balance between future ambition and present joy defines real fulfillment. You’ll discover practical ways to align success with your values, avoid chasing someone else’s dream, and build a life grounded in health, wealth, and love. Whether you’re striving for more or seeking balance, this episode offers clarity and inspiration to grow authentically. Listen now and take the next step toward success on your own terms.

Learn more about:

_____________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:47) Living to work Vs. Working to live
(6:49) Why do some people achieve and others don’t
(9:49) If you want to start, grow, scale, or monetize your podcast? Join our "The Next Level Podcast Accelerator" - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(11:45) Balancing health, wealth, and love
(14:33) Finding your Build Vs. Enjoy ratio
(18:58) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) The unfortunate fact is there are some people out there that will never be that successful because it would require them to change so many things about themselves that they would be successful and miserable.

Alan Lazaros

(0:11) I've said it before, the moment you set a goal, you have to at least to some degree be subservient to that goal. (0:18) What if that misaligns with who you want to be? (0:20) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:23) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:25) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:28) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:35) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:41) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:57) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:03) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:09) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2178. (1:13) How do you achieve goals without changing everything about yourself? (1:18) Alan and I were talking, and we were talking about how I feel like we've really leaned into what, and through Alan's help, what does Alan want?(1:29) What does Kevin want? (1:30) Like, let's get very clear on what we want everything to look like, what we want our lives to look like. (1:34) What do we want this to be, right?(1:36) Let's recheck in with everything. (1:39) And there are certain things about me that I just don't think would be constructive to change, even though they might be what's best for business, even though they might be what's best for impact. (1:49) I don't think at the end of the day, it would be sustainable for me.(1:51) So our converse, I'm sure you work, like, way much on Sunday.

Alan Lazaros

(2:01) Yeah, yeah. (2:01) Way much.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:02) I don't, oh god, I would hate myself.

Alan Lazaros

(2:03) We were charging the Tesla, cranking.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:05) I feel like I would hate my life. (2:07) I feel like I would, like, hate my fucking life. (2:10) I do, very honestly.

Alan Lazaros

(2:12) I appreciate the honesty.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:13) I batched WhatsApp, I batched emails, I sent some messages, I made sure nothing was burning down, but it was like, I can't imagine if I just, I would hate, I feel like I would hate my fucking life.

Alan Lazaros

(2:22) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:22) Because I would have nothing to look forward to. (2:25) What do you look forward to?

Alan Lazaros

(2:28) Life.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:29) Just, that's it?

Alan Lazaros

(2:31) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:31) I want to reach my potential. (2:33) But when you never do, because you can't, because there's no such thing, you're going to, like, what do you, do you ever get, like, moments of, like, that was cool?

Alan Lazaros

(2:43) This is not what the episode is supposed to be about. (2:47) But I, I think some people live to work. (2:50) Other people work to live.(2:52) You live to work. (2:53) For sure. (2:54) I want to change the world.(2:58) I want to build the most meaningful career possible. (3:01) The point to me of building NLU isn't to build less. (3:08) What's a good example?(3:09) Sunday, we had a date day. (3:11) We woke up, did our morning, left, went to the gym. (3:18) Awesome fucking workout.(3:21) Unbelievable. (3:22) Oh, so good. (3:24) And Emilia felt the same way.(3:26) And then we went to charge the Tesla. (3:29) And it took quite some time, honestly. (3:33) We hammered that thing all the way to a hunch.(3:35) Sometimes it takes, you know? (3:36) Yeah. (3:37) And we don't always do that, but sometimes.(3:39) And we did this time. (3:40) And then it was four o'clock. (3:41) We went and we had the most magnificent beach day, private.(3:45) It was awesome. (3:46) We got lucky with that. (3:48) She found the spot.(3:49) It was like our own little cove. (3:50) It was something. (3:52) Yeah.(3:52) And we also got Chipotle. (3:56) We also saw the sunset over the ocean. (4:01) And it's a place off of Jamestown in Rhode Island.(4:05) I don't know the name of the thing. (4:07) She did the research. (4:08) But we just optimized for fewest people and best nature.(4:15) But when we got home, and then we did our stuff, enjoyed our evening together. (4:29) She has movie club tonight. (4:30) So she was prepping for that, which I adore.(4:34) So we watched a movie together. (4:35) And then I fell asleep. (4:36) Best day ever.(4:40) I don't want to live a life where I'm not building every day.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:45) Let me ask you a question. (4:47) What about you have you had to change in order to build? (4:50) Accomplish these goals?(4:52) And what are you not willing to?

Alan Lazaros

(4:55) So you and I have talked about this in the past. (4:57) I feel like I've had to change myself in order to make relationships work. (5:02) You've felt like you've had to change yourself in order to hit your goals.(5:04) For sure. (5:06) I think everyone is on one side of that spectrum or the other. (5:09) Everyone.(5:11) If you are someone who naturally enjoys quality of life. (5:16) And if this sounds exciting to you, wake up in the morning and just chill. (5:22) You don't have any agenda.(5:23) You don't have any goals. (5:24) You don't have to do anything. (5:25) You just get to do whatever you want all day.(5:26) If that excites you, that sounds fucking terrible to me. (5:31) That is a giant wasted day in my consciousness. (5:35) Because what you could do with that day is unbelievable.(5:39) But I was with someone in the past, an intimate partner, and she loved that. (5:44) She was very lazy, in my opinion. (5:47) She didn't have huge goals and dreams.(5:49) She just loved experiences. (5:51) She didn't want to do much else. (5:52) She didn't want to build anything.(5:54) She was very, very, very want to go to this restaurant, want to do that. (5:59) And I was just so... (6:01) I had such a hard time with that.(6:02) Because for me... (6:03) So some people live to work. (6:05) Some people work to live.(6:07) Some people wake up in the morning and want to build. (6:10) And then they also R&R. (6:12) And other people wake up in the morning, they want to R&R.(6:14) And they also have to build. (6:15) So to answer your question, I've had to change. (6:18) I feel like in the past, in order to make relationships work, I've had to dial down.(6:22) I've had to be very different. (6:26) Whereas you have felt like in order to achieve your goals, you're going to have to change who you are. (6:30) And what Kevin and I are trying to say in this episode for the listeners, own who you are.(6:36) Listen, if you don't like building, and you don't want to grind, and you don't want to build every day, and you don't want to work every day, and you don't want to get things done every day, and optimize your life, you're never going to be as successful as me. (6:49) And or anyone else who's wired that way. (6:51) There's another person I coach.(6:53) She builds every day. (6:55) Every day. (6:56) She never, ever doesn't.(6:58) She's every Saturday. (6:59) Every Saturday. (7:00) I think we had a call on Saturday, and she was building all day.(7:04) She's going to be very successful. (7:06) But she doesn't care about quality of life that much. (7:10) She wants to build, and she wants to earn, and she wants to grow.(7:15) So I think some of us have to change who we are, feel like we have to change who we are to make relationships work. (7:20) Others of us feel like we have to change who we are in order to achieve our goals. (7:24) And I think it depends.(7:25) I asked you once if you feel like an achiever. (7:30) What are you thinking now? (7:31) Because back then you're like, I've never identified as an achiever.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:35) I would say so now. (7:37) But I would say I'm not a natural achiever, if you ask me. (7:41) This is why it's so valuable to have you on the show.(7:45) Why, thank you. (7:47) Well, dude, I was thinking about that today. (7:52) How much different would this show be if it was just you versus if it was just me?

Alan Lazaros

(7:57) Infinite. (7:57) You know what? (7:58) We talked about that Kobe Bryant clip, RIP to Kobe.(8:01) He couldn't really answer. (8:03) Kobe did four a days every day. (8:07) And people ask him, why would you train four times a day, every day?(8:12) He's like, well, you wake up at four or five and eat some breakfast. (8:16) You go to the gym for a couple hours. (8:18) You come back, you rest, and then you go back, boom, boom, boom.(8:21) And he said, mathematically, it just makes sense. (8:24) I can get four times as much done as someone who's training two hours a day, and you can never catch me. (8:30) And to him, it made no sense not to do that.(8:33) I feel that way. (8:34) When I was going to be a pro gamer, I played fucking 10 hours a day, every day. (8:40) I'm very obsessive.(8:43) And I don't want to do things half-assed, ever. (8:47) I'm not interested. (8:49) I don't want to do anything half-assed, ever.(8:51) And I think that people that are like that are very scared to share it. (8:57) Because they make other people feel insecure. (9:01) It's very hard to work with me and not feel like you're lazy.(9:06) Okay. (9:07) For someone who's on the other side of this coin, and here's the real problem, and this is what I hope lands for everybody. (9:14) I have certain people who are not naturally wired as achievers, who are achieving a ton, who are working every single day, and not taking any days off.(9:22) And they are actually more fulfilled now. (9:24) They genuinely are. (9:26) They say this, and this is their words, not mine.(9:31) It's better than the alternative, which is not achieving my goals. (9:34) You have to choose. (9:36) But if you really enjoy quality of life, and you really, really want to just hang out, you cannot build a billion-dollar company.(9:44) You can't. (9:45) It's not a thing. (9:46) You can work at one.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:50) Next Level Nation, what is happening? (9:53) If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. (10:00) That's really why we created it in the first place.(10:02) We start a new round every 90 days. (10:05) So if you're hearing this, go to the website, nextleveluniverse.com, and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. (10:14) Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one.(10:18) The biggest thing that we've seen is as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. (10:25) The group fills up, and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. (10:28) So please head over to the website.(10:30) The link will be in the show notes, and we would love to see you there.

Alan Lazaros

(10:34) But that's really what it comes down to, the size of your goals determines what level of focus and dedication you have to put into it. (10:45) One of the hardest parts of my life is I want to be healthy, wealthy, and in love. (10:48) Most of my original mentors that are very, very wealthy did it at the expense of their health and their marriage.(10:53) I'm not interested. (10:55) And so if you're one out of a hundred in health, wealth, and love, that's one in a million. (10:59) If you want to be one in a million, you have to put in level one in a million focus, one in a million effort, one in a million dedication.(11:04) So from you, from your perspective, what is it like to want to achieve level 10 results, but not be level 10 obsessed?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:17) I say this all the time. (11:18) I'm very honest about this. (11:19) If you and I didn't work together, my goals would change.(11:22) I would change my goals immediately because it's not, it wouldn't happen because I just know it wouldn't happen. (11:29) That, I just try to be very aware of the Mario Kart booster that working with you is. (11:35) And the downsides of that too, potentially, right?(11:39) The upsides drastically outweigh the downsides, but there's downsides with everything.

Alan Lazaros

(11:51) Yeah. (11:51) We all have a percentage of building and a percentage of enjoying. (11:58) Your percentage is different than mine.(12:01) Yeah. (12:01) When you and I first met, your percentage enjoying versus percentage building, it was 40 hours building because you went to work 40 hours a week.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:09) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(12:09) So watch 168 hours a week, 40 divided by 168. (12:14) So Kevin's percentage, wow, that's brutal. (12:17) You only had 24% building.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:20) Well, what about the gym?

Alan Lazaros

(12:23) Okay. (12:23) I don't. (12:24) Yeah.(12:25) Okay. (12:25) Building the self. (12:26) Yeah.(12:27) Okay. (12:27) Fair. (12:27) Give me an hour a day on that.(12:29) All right. (12:29) Hour times seven is seven plus the 40. (12:31) So you're looking at 47 divided by 168.(12:34) Bump that up over. (12:35) You're at 28%. (12:37) Not great.(12:38) 28% building. (12:38) Now, what you have to understand is you got to sleep.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:40) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(12:41) So it really isn't. (12:43) So let's assume eight times seven is 56 hours minus 168. (12:48) You're looking at 112.(12:49) So out of 112 hours, let's say 40 divided by 112, 35%. (12:54) So if you work a 40 hour a week, 36, I'll round up. (12:58) It's 35.7. 36% is building.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:03) It wasn't really building though. (13:04) Cause it was just collecting a paycheck. (13:06) It wasn't super constructive, you know?(13:09) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(13:11) This is good. (13:12) I know we didn't plan on this. (13:13) We got four minutes left.(13:14) I really hope that we can get this to land and I'm relying on you for that. (13:19) The percentage of your time and effort that you put towards building is going to dictate your long-term results.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:27) Well, we, we talked about this. (13:30) I don't remember what episode it was, but remember I said, you're the results of all your effort are in a cage and you don't get to go inside the cage and hang out with your results all the time. (13:39) Because if you do, you lose the momentum of what built the results in the first place.(13:44) That is the, it's almost like, okay, let's say you think you're 50, 50. (13:52) I believe I'm wired to, to build 50 and what's the other side?

Alan Lazaros

(13:59) Enjoy. (14:00) Build and enjoy. (14:01) Those are the two modes.(14:02) We'll call this two gears. (14:04) One gear is I am building the self, building the family, building the business.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:08) Bullshit. (14:08) So we can have two bees. (14:09) Yeah, yeah, that's fine.(14:10) I'm not saying fuck that. (14:11) Well, I know bullshit's negative because bullshit makes it sound like you're making it worse because you might coast. (14:17) I need a B and we need to come up with a B.(14:19) So it's building something buffer. (14:22) We'll make something up.

Alan Lazaros

(14:24) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:25) I almost had you there on buffer though. (14:27) I think enjoy building. (14:28) Enjoy.(14:29) I know it's not sexy, but okay. (14:31) So let's say you think you're 50, 50. (14:33) I think I'm 50% build 50% enjoy.(14:35) Okay. (14:36) Give 60, 40 a shot and see how sustainable it is. (14:41) 60% build 40% enjoy.(14:42) I'm willing to bet you'll enjoy your enjoyment more and your enjoyment will be higher quality because of what you're building. (14:49) Then give 70, 30 a shot and see. (14:52) I was pleasantly surprised as it went from let's say 35, 65 to 40, 60, 45, 55, 50, 50.(15:04) Eventually, I don't, I would say that maybe the most that ever was, was 80, 20. (15:08) I don't know. (15:09) I was pleasantly surprised what it was like when I got there.

Alan Lazaros

(15:13) I agree. (15:14) And I'm, I think that more people would be pleasantly surprised too. (15:18) But I think they're afraid.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:19) What if your work is meaningful? (15:20) But I think they're afraid to hear what you say and say 99, 1 or 95, 5. (15:25) Like there's no fucking chance.(15:27) So they don't even, it's a big jump. (15:29) They don't even move in that direction. (15:30) 80, 20 is pretty like, what's, what's the time on that?(15:33) I got you.

Alan Lazaros

(15:35) So 100, 112 hours. (15:38) So there's 168 hours in a week and you sleep, let's say hopefully 56 of them. (15:47) All right.(15:48) So there's 112 hours left. (15:50) If it was 50, 50, you'd have 50, you'd be working 56 hour work weeks. (15:56) Hold on.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:56) Hold the math shift. (15:57) I think he said 112 hours in a week. (16:02) Yeah.(16:02) Because it's 168 hours a week minus sleeping. (16:05) Okay. (16:05) So 112 with sleep.

Alan Lazaros

(16:07) Yeah. (16:08) So we got to take 112 waking hours, 112 hours.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:13) You could do something with yes.

Alan Lazaros

(16:15) Out there watching or listening. (16:16) If, if you sleep eight hours a night on average, you are awake for 112 hours a week. (16:24) Okay.(16:24) And if you're 50, 50, that means you work a 56 hour work week. (16:29) But that includes home improvement. (16:32) That includes fitness.(16:34) That includes building your, whatever building means to you.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:37) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(16:37) Yeah. (16:38) Yeah. (16:38) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:38) Maybe that's the best side hustle. (16:40) Figure that out. (16:42) What is building?(16:43) What is building actually mean to you? (16:45) That's a good place to start.

Alan Lazaros

(16:46) You asked me 80%. (16:48) 80%. (16:50) 80% would be you work 90 hour weeks.(16:52) But it's not working. (16:55) Right. (16:55) This is journaling.(16:57) This is meditating. (16:58) This is habit tracking. (16:59) This is metrics.(17:00) This is fucking me on the foam roller earlier. (17:03) Date night? (17:04) This is date night.(17:06) Technically. (17:06) Yeah. (17:07) And it's basically building your future.(17:12) I think that's the frame. (17:13) And I know we got to jump because I got a coaching session. (17:15) But that's the frame is building means for the future.(17:20) Enjoying means just for the present. (17:24) And I think that your ratio has to be above 50. (17:27) If you want a bigger future.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:29) You got to start there.

Alan Lazaros

(17:30) Start with 50-50.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:32) We're going to have to do part two. (17:33) But a lot of part twos. (17:36) It's going to be next level you slash part two.(17:39) That's going to be the add on. (17:40) I love it man. (17:41) I think we could literally go through.(17:44) Yeah. (17:44) And talk about let's define what building means. (17:47) I say this all the time.(17:49) When I say I worked a 16 hour day, I'm counting the fucking gym. (17:52) Always. (17:52) Yeah, I know.

Alan Lazaros

(17:53) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:54) I'm telling you right now. (17:55) I'm building. (17:55) That's me building.(17:57) And sometimes people are like, well, no, that's not work. (17:59) Okay. (17:59) Okay.(18:00) Well, then why don't you go to the gym? (18:02) And then you can say it's not work. (18:04) It is work.(18:04) It's part of the fucking company. (18:06) It's part of the brand.

Alan Lazaros

(18:07) It's part of my life. (18:08) Health, wealth, and love, baby.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:09) Health, wealth, and love. (18:10) It is work.

Alan Lazaros

(18:11) All right. (18:13) Meet up this Thursday. (18:15) What's it on?(18:15) It is on setting up your environment for success. (18:19) Every little tweak that I've done to my office, my home, my car, and my digital environment to make sure that I keep focused is what I'm going to teach everybody. (18:29) Perfect.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:30) And if you want to spend some time building five minutes a day, Next Level Dreamliner will have the link in the show notes. (18:35) It's on Amazon. (18:36) Five minutes, 10 minutes if you want to go over, but 10 minutes a day.

Alan Lazaros

(18:40) Also. (18:40) Yes. (18:41) Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke is starting this Saturday.(18:44) This is a new book. (18:45) Un-freaking-believable book. (18:47) I already reached out to her.(18:48) We'll see if she gets back to me because I don't know how well she does her Instagram DMs. Thinking in Bets every Saturday for the next six weeks at least. (18:57) Great book.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:58) Boom. (18:58) All right. (18:58) As always, we love you.(18:59) Appreciate you. (18:59) Grateful for each and every one of you. (19:01) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(19:08) Keep reaching your full potential. (19:10) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:11) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (19:15) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(19:17) We mean it when we say family. (19:19) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (19:23) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(19:26) Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host