You'll Never Really Win Without This (2219)

Humility builds what ego breaks. In this fiery episode, Kevin and Alan break down the unseen line between self-belief and ego, how a missed shot became a masterclass in humility. They get real about fame, failure, and the mindset shift that separates one-hit wonders from long-term legends. If you’ve ever wondered why some people lose it all after reaching the top, this one’s for you. Hit play, and learn the quiet power that keeps real success standing tall.

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Show notes:
(2:58) Turning down
(4:47) The real cost of arrogance in success
(6:33) Smart money moves and long-term thinking
(10:30) Why fame without humility leads to burnout
(12:16) Behind-the-scenes values and unseen character
(16:02) The lifelong skill of humility
(18:10) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:58 Turning down
• 4:47 The real cost of arrogance in success
• 6:33 Smart money moves and long-term thinking
• 10:30 Why fame without humility leads to burnout
• 12:16 Behind-the-scenes values and unseen character
• 16:02 The lifelong skill of humility
• 18:10 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) When I was a younger man, I was a big fan of American Pie. (0:04) And who knew that somebody from the cast of American Pie could have so much wisdom?

Alan Lazaros

(0:10) Self-belief is the number one most important thing for success. (0:14) The second thing is humility, and rarely do those two go hand in hand.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:19) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:22) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:24) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:27) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:33) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:40) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:55) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:02) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:08) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,219. (1:12) You'll never really win without this.(1:14) Now look, there's a million podcasts about success. (1:18) Not a million, there's a lot about success. (1:20) And there's a lot about relationships and there's a lot about money.(1:23) I don't think there's a podcast out there that is just about humility. (1:26) It would get old pretty quick and you only do so many episodes, but that's what we're talking about today. (1:31) I watched an interview last night with Jason Biggs.(1:34) I believe that's his name, right? (1:36) I think so. (1:37) From American Pie, Jim.

Alan Lazaros

(1:39) Shout out to Jason, quitting drinking.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:41) He quit a lot of things, I believe. (1:43) Yeah, he quit alcohol. (1:44) I believe he talks about it.(1:46) He quit a lot of things. (1:47) He was in all of the American Pie, all the real American Pie movies. (1:51) I know there are some shit spinoffs.(1:53) You gotta ride the wave while it's hot. (1:55) The real, the real.

Alan Lazaros

(1:56) He was in the real ones.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:57) The real OGs. (1:57) He was Jim. (1:58) He was the main character.(2:00) And in this interview, he was talking about how he's not really that successful anymore, essentially. (2:10) The American Pie allure has kind of worn off and that is what he'll be known for forever. (2:16) And almost everything else he did outside of that kind of bombed.(2:19) It didn't do very well. (2:21) And he said at one point in the interview, he said, I fucking got cocky. (2:27) I got cocky.(2:28) I had done American Pie and I had done a couple other movies and those movies bombed for whatever reason. (2:35) They didn't work. (2:36) I thought they were going to work.(2:37) They didn't. (2:38) So I went back and I did another American Pie or whatever it was. (2:42) And he said, eventually I got to the point where people were asking me about doing TV.(2:49) And he said, somebody asked if I wanted to be on a very, a show that went on to be very big. (2:55) And he said, I turned it down because I was at the point where...

Alan Lazaros

(2:58) How I met your mother, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:58) How I met your mother. (2:59) You spoiled it. (3:01) I was going to say it at the end.(3:02) Oh, it's my bad. (3:03) The story arc, that's okay. (3:05) Not the end of the world.(3:06) But he said no, because he said, I'm a leading man in Hollywood. (3:11) I do movies. (3:13) I don't do TV.(3:14) TV was like, meh. (3:17) You're on TV.

Alan Lazaros

(3:18) Well, not anymore because the whole industry has moved that way.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:21) It's different. (3:22) But he said no to one of the most successful sitcoms of all time. (3:27) And I have, I don't know what he's done since then, but he was very honest about the fact that he said, I got a big head.(3:33) I thought the gravy train was going to live forever. (3:36) And I lost sight of humility and I got cocky and it was so refreshed. (3:41) I was so into it.(3:43) I was like, this is so refreshing to hear somebody talk about that with that level of vulnerability. (3:48) And now here's the thing. (3:50) This is the weird thing.(3:51) You could say, well, Kev, he got really successful. (3:54) Yes, definitely. (3:55) And who knows what would have happened if he did that?(3:59) And he was humble enough to say, well, where I thought I was going is not where I ended up. (4:04) Let me take one of these off ramps to something that is still success and be humble enough to take the opportunity I have in front of me. (4:11) So I want to do an episode on it.(4:12) Who's the dude who played Stifler in that?

Alan Lazaros

(4:16) Sean William Scott. (4:17) He apparently, and among the investor community, business owner community, he is an anomaly. (4:25) He invested from the very get.(4:27) Really? (4:27) He's been an investor from the get. (4:29) He does very well.(4:31) Yeah. (4:31) Cause he had a couple of big ones, a rundown, like he did better after American pie, but not crazy. (4:37) Nothing crazy.(4:38) And the other thing too, and again, I went out to LA for a time. (4:44) I studied show business. (4:45) I've studied film my entire life.(4:47) I, I also researched this recently. (4:49) So James Cameron's first successful movie as a director, he was 41, 1984, the first Terminator. (4:56) That was the first one.(4:58) So he was 41 when he made it, quote unquote. (5:02) Isn't that crazy?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:03) That is crazy. (5:04) Jason Biggs said this in the interview. (5:07) He was like, there were so many people who were like, oh my goodness, you did American pie.(5:10) You're an overnight, you're an overnight success happened overnight. (5:13) And he's like, I've had, I've been acting since 1989. (5:16) I don't know how old he is, but I don't know when the first American pie came out.(5:22) So yeah, I don't know how old he is, but he said, I've been doing, I've been doing this since 1989. (5:27) So he's, I need to look up how old he is.

Alan Lazaros

(5:30) He's probably 52, maybe 48. (5:33) He's that old? (5:34) 48.(5:35) Yeah. (5:35) 48, 46. (5:36) He was born in 78.(5:38) Yeah. (5:39) So he's, what is he? (5:41) 10 years older than you.(5:42) Yeah. (5:42) So he's 46, 46. (5:45) I, and again, careers, I tried to study people's careers and the usually not always, but usually you really start to crush it in your forties, fifties, and sixties.(5:56) Uh, Oprah's 71. (5:58) Like I, you know, again, anyone who is at the top of any industry, I tended to kind of look up their stuff, but Sean William Scott, back to my point, wasn't cocky. (6:08) He, and it's ironic because he plays the most cocky character of all time.(6:12) Stifler is the most cocky character ever, but he was very humble in investing his money. (6:16) And in show business too, by the way, these actors and actresses don't make as much as you think some of them do. (6:21) Some of them are like crazy, like Robert Downey Jr. 60 million for one movie. (6:26) It's like, that's a third of the fucking budget, but that's not normal. (6:30) That's weird. (6:31) Anomaly stuff.(6:33) Um, and, and again, where you really build wealth is investing. (6:39) And so Sean William Scott from, when did, when did American pie come out in 98?

Kevin Palmieri

(6:44) I will tell you, I will tell you right now.

Alan Lazaros

(6:46) Yeah. (6:47) So he's been investing ever since then. (6:48) And there's also deals where you can get a percentage of, uh, they call it mailbox money in the biz.(6:55) They call it mailbox money where basically you just, you keep getting pieces of the proceeds as, so for example, as they keep airing friends, there's some of the cast of friends that keeps getting checks. (7:05) And so again, it's, I don't want to pretend like I know the entire industry, but at the end of the day there, it all depends. (7:13) And to the point of this episode, a film costs, let's say it costs 200 million to make watch the credits of a film.(7:24) Like you can crunch the numbers, $200 million. (7:27) And, and there's, you know, 10,000 people that work on the film. (7:31) I mean, do the math.(7:33) It's not like everyone's making 5 million, you know, cause that would be only a hundred people working on the film. (7:38) Right. (7:38) So it's, it's interesting.(7:40) A studio invests a ton of money into a movie and then there's a big star like Jason. (7:46) And then I don't know his last name, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big. (7:52) Okay.(7:53) Jason Biggs. (7:53) And if you do get cocky in that space, you basically, and again, I have a close friend of mine I grew up with who works in the industry. (8:03) He's very, very much involved in the Boston version of Hollywood.(8:08) And he's done three short films in one feature film. (8:12) And I talked to him at length about all of this. (8:15) I know how much he had to pay for his future film and I know who he paid what to.(8:19) And so I can look at the profit and loss statement of film and some actors and actresses make a ton and some actually don't make that much. (8:31) Like you'd be surprised. (8:32) There was one actor in his film that got paid 11 grand for one day.(8:36) And he was a really, really big actor. (8:40) Everyone else. (8:41) I mean, 200 bucks a day, 300 bucks a day, 400 bucks a day, which again, it depends, but ultimately you can't stop working when you have one hit.(8:49) Like that's the dumbest shit ever. (8:51) Same with artists. (8:53) Like you can't have one hit album and then just dip.(8:57) It's a flex though. (8:59) It seems like such a flex. (9:02) That's long-term success.(9:03) 1999 long-term success is the only success that matters. (9:07) Short-term one hit wonders are stupid and going for them is even stupider. (9:11) And that's my truth.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:13) I think it's fair. (9:14) And I think that's, it's hard not to, I don't know. (9:20) I've never been famous.(9:21) I don't know. (9:21) So, but I can imagine it's hard not to get full of yourself. (9:26) Tara and I watched the documentary on Charlie Sheen.(9:30) He did a documentary. (9:31) It was, it was fascinating. (9:33) It was fascinating.(9:34) Like he just got too big, too famous. (9:39) It just went off the rails. (9:41) Couldn't handle it.(9:42) But it was like, nobody ever said no. (9:44) And everything always went his way. (9:46) So he was just fucking arrogant.(9:48) And then he became the highest paid person on television ever for two and a half men. (9:53) Even though he was like at the peak of his, there was a part in it where he was like, he literally said at one point, he's like, I just wish somebody would have been like, he shouldn't be doing this. (10:02) Like who's allowing him to do this.(10:05) It was just interesting. (10:06) But I think it's, it's, I can only imagine how easy it is to lose yourself when you're in, you're the star of American pie, which is this massive hit that nobody thought was going to be. (10:17) I don't want people off the hook like you do.

Alan Lazaros

(10:19) No, no, I get it. (10:22) I get it. (10:23) I'm playing old.(10:24) I get it. (10:25) Come on. (10:25) How old was Charlie fucking sheet?(10:27) What are we doing here? (10:28) Look, I'm playing both sides. (10:29) No, I see you.(10:31) I know what team I'm on. (10:32) No, fuck all that. (10:34) You stay humble.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:35) I'm all for it. (10:36) I'm just saying, I'm, I'm, I'm playing both sides.

Alan Lazaros

(10:40) I think that if you are world famous at 16 years old, like Justin Bieber, it makes sense that you're going to lose it. (10:51) I mean, you just don't have the emotional scaffold, but if you're 45, he was famous a lot, a lot earlier than that.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:59) When did he get famous when he was young? (11:01) Not young, young, but young.

Alan Lazaros

(11:03) Yeah. (11:04) 18. (11:04) I think, okay, this is a side tangent, but I think everyone has a responsibility to lead by example.(11:09) I do. (11:10) I think if you're famous, you have a responsibility to be an example. (11:14) And I had a big argument with one of my friends in college.(11:16) He's like, no, he didn't sign up to be an example. (11:18) Like, let him live his life. (11:19) No, no.(11:20) You have a responsive fucking ability to lead by example. (11:25) When you know, kids are looking up to you. (11:27) It's, it is, it's a, it's a athletes, me, you, everybody, you have a responsibility on this planet to be a good person and to lead by example.(11:37) And you cannot be an F off and have that kind of influence. (11:42) It's not okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:43) Well, I think character is something that a lot of people aren't necessarily, uh, trying to level up. (11:50) Well, I wish that was different and that's what we're trying to change. (11:52) Same, same.(11:53) Yeah. (11:54) I was telling somebody the other day, this, and it was interesting because this person knew exactly who I was talking about. (11:59) I said, do you know this person?(12:01) They're, they're in the same industry. (12:02) They're in the fitness industry. (12:03) And they're like, oh yeah, yeah, I know that they're like super famous.(12:05) I said, we interviewed them. (12:06) And they're like, oh, what, what episode was it? (12:08) And I said, ah, never released it.(12:10) Never released it. (12:11) Nobody knows we interviewed them. (12:12) Nobody will ever know.(12:13) Alan and I are the only two people that will ever know we interviewed this person. (12:16) And I said, they were kind of shitty. (12:17) They were kind of shitty.(12:18) Yeah. (12:19) A hundred percent behind the scenes. (12:20) So we never, and that's why we didn't air it.(12:21) That's why we didn't air it.

Alan Lazaros

(12:22) Because we care more about character than success. (12:24) There's a way to do both. (12:26) There's, there's a way to do both.(12:27) Of course. (12:28) I'm not letting them off the hook. (12:29) I want you to know that.(12:30) I do know that. (12:31) I want you to know that. (12:32) But sometimes the, I just get triggered cause it's, it's not your fault.(12:35) I just know like, no, absolutely not.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:38) Totally. (12:39) I'm just always fascinated by the, I know, I know the whole fucking how it all works. (12:45) It always fascinates me.(12:47) You're never really, you don't, I guess you don't ever really see into somebody's head cause you're just hearing what they say. (12:54) But I feel like that's why when somebody asked me a question, I try to give them like the real answer. (12:58) Like the realist answer I am currently capable of giving.(13:02) Cause I want you to know like what it actually is. (13:04) Somebody asked me today, they said, it's hard to do. (13:07) It is hard to do.(13:08) We were talking today on a podcast and somebody, they, they kept trying to like let me off the hook. (13:14) I was like, I'm not, I'm, I'm a great friend in many ways, but I'm also not the friend for most people. (13:21) Nice.(13:21) I'm, I'm not going to answer your mess. (13:23) I'm not going to help you move your furniture. (13:24) Like that ain't me.(13:25) A hundred percent. (13:26) And she was, she's a sweetheart. (13:28) If you're listening, you're a sweetheart.(13:29) I don't mean this negatively, but she kept trying to like let me off the hook. (13:32) I know. (13:33) And I was like, look, I think you and I could be really good friends because it's very clear that you don't care, but that's not the way most people are wired.(13:42) I'm, I'm not the person for most people. (13:47) It's probably hard being friends with me. (13:49) I can imagine.(13:50) I can imagine.

Alan Lazaros

(13:51) I think it's very honest.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:52) Oh, I like that. (13:53) I wish I heard that more.

Alan Lazaros

(13:55) I wish I don't let you off the hook with shit like that. (13:57) I love it. (13:57) And I get the same thing, but in a different way.(14:03) I don't come off brash. (14:04) It's like, of course you are. (14:05) You are.(14:06) Yeah. (14:07) Thank you. (14:07) And I, but I, it's people like, someone asked me a question and I'll say, well, I don't want this to come off pretentious, but like, I'll just be, you don't worry about anybody else.(14:16) It's like, that's not why I'm here. (14:18) I'm not here for me. (14:19) If I was here for me, this, I wouldn't even fucking be here.(14:21) Like I already know all this. (14:23) So it's not for me. (14:25) This is for the listener.(14:25) I care about your listener and the way you come off matters.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:28) Well, it's like, you can't just say easy for you. (14:31) Oh, you just want me to be me? (14:32) Easy for you to say.

Alan Lazaros

(14:33) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:33) 12 minutes.

Alan Lazaros

(14:34) You don't know what it's like to be. (14:36) And they do. (14:36) They try to, they try to say, oh, don't worry about it.(14:39) It's like, well, I've been podcasting for fucking 10 years longer than you. (14:42) I know the implications of my words and I want to be conscientious. (14:45) Don't make me wrong for that.(14:46) For fuck's sake. (14:47) So at the end of the day, they're just new. (14:49) And they also are very uncomfortable with the idea that I'm filtering.(14:52) They think I'm filtering it. (14:53) They want to know the real answer. (14:54) Listen, I know the real answer.(14:56) It's going to come off wrong if I don't filter it through my head. (14:59) And not to mention, what is the real answer? (15:02) Half the questions we ask are deep.(15:04) You have to think about them. (15:06) It's like, well, what did your mom do when you were growing up? (15:09) And I went through this whole thing.(15:10) I said, well, she didn't like when I called her a lunch lady, but she really was, but she liked to be called a cook because of, she didn't want to be looked down upon. (15:17) She was like, just, just, uh, just call her a lunch lady or just call her a cook. (15:22) It's like, how about you let me answer the question?(15:24) You know, it's my mother. (15:26) We got fired up with this episode. (15:28) Of course, man, because there's so much that goes into this dude that, and again, it's not like by any means we're famous or anything.(15:38) That's not what I'm trying to say. (15:39) It's just everybody has a fucking opinion about how you should answer questions. (15:46) And if you just actually, I would love to see you answer the same question.(15:51) How's your mom? (15:51) What did she do when she grew up? (15:52) Like, it's just, you know, those interviews where you're kind of, they're digging deeper than what's reasonable, but you, as someone who's hyperconscious and actually wants to add value, you really do want to answer them.(16:02) But there's a part of you that's like, this is kind of inappropriate. (16:05) You know, it's like, well, why don't you take your, why'd you take your stepdad's last name? (16:09) It's like, all right, take it fucking easy.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:10) You get that way more than I do though. (16:12) But dude, that's because I trigger people. (16:14) I know, I know.(16:14) But that's what I'm saying is I, people don't ask me that. (16:18) I don't get those questions. (16:19) The person today was literally like, would you mind, are you open to digging a little deeper?(16:23) Yeah, that ain't it for me.

Alan Lazaros

(16:24) I didn't even let her finish. (16:25) For me, they just presuppose that, and I know I triggered her insecurity. (16:29) She was trying to, she was trying to add value.(16:32) It is what it is. (16:33) But, and I hung in there. (16:34) But every now and then you do, on the microphones, you get, it's like, are we here to talk about success and personal development or are you trying to get me to reevaluate my existence on this show, right?(16:45) All right, we gotta go.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:46) We gotta go because you have a coaching call in one minute. (16:48) Fair. (16:48) What's your wrap up?(16:49) 10 second wrap up.

Alan Lazaros

(16:54) Even that, what we just talked about right there was all about lack of humility from a host's end. (17:02) It's how do you operate with a ton of self-belief, but also conscientiousness about your actions, what you say, think, do, feel, and believe have implications. (17:14) And what I say on this microphone, my kids are going to hear one day.(17:18) And I want to operate to the best of my ability within the scope of who I aspire to be and who I aspire to be perceived as. (17:25) And if you don't like that, don't have me on the show. (17:28) And so, humility and self-belief are very important to go hand in hand.(17:32) And quite frankly, they're very hard to do both simultaneously. (17:36) That needs to be a constant focus.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:39) I think humility is a master skill and it's one that nobody talks about because it's unsexy, it's behind the scenes, and it doesn't really look like anything. (17:46) If anything, I think at times it looks like weakness. (17:49) It's misconstrued as weakness.(17:51) And I think it's a master strength for sure that needs to be talked about way more than it is. (17:56) That's my wrap up. (17:57) I couldn't agree more, man.(17:58) That's why we did it. (17:59) That's why we did the episode. (18:00) All right.(18:00) Allen has coaching slots available. (18:02) We'll have the link in the show notes. (18:03) Next Level Nation, we have monthly masterclasses, book club every week.(18:06) There's a bunch of stuff. (18:07) We've got a bunch of stuff. (18:08) So, nextleveluniverse.com has all of that. (18:10) As always, we love you. (18:11) We appreciate you. (18:12) Grateful for each and every one of you.(18:13) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here to help you get there. (18:20) Keep reaching for your full potential.

Alan Lazaros

(18:22) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:24) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (18:28) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(18:30) We mean it when we say family. (18:33) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (18:36) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(18:39) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.