Your Reaction To Overwhelm Is Affecting Your Success (2226)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros reveal why your stress reaction could be the difference between burnout and success. Learn how to turn chaos into clarity and pressure into progress. Don’t run from overwhelm, master it. Hit play now.

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Show notes:
(2:17) Success and identity alignment
(6:01) Managing emotional states
(9:13) Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
(11:01) Distraction vs. discipline
(12:19) Rhythm, productivity, and state management
(13:25) The warrior mindset in business
(15:44) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:17 Success and identity alignment
• 6:01 Managing emotional states
• 9:13 Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
• 11:01 Distraction Vs. Discipline
• 12:19 Rhythm, productivity, and state management
• 13:25 The warrior mindset in business
• 15:44 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If your reaction to overwhelm is shutting down, you're kind of screwed because in order to be more successful, you most likely are going to have to take on more than you can handle. (0:10) And if you shut down every time, opportunity is just going to fall through your fingers, unfortunately.

Alan Lazaros

(0:17) I was on four podcasts yesterday and they always ask me right at the beginning, how are you? (0:22) How's your day going? (0:23) And I say overwhelmed, but it's much better than crickets.(0:27) I'm glad we're in demand.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:29) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:31) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:33) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:36) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:42) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:49) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:05) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:11) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:17) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,226, what is your reaction to overwhelm? (1:23) So this is something we have talked about in the past for sure. (1:26) But as things evolve and as we get more opportunities, I realize that my natural tendency is to shut down when I get overwhelmed.(1:37) I feel like you're starting to get it.

Alan Lazaros

(1:39) What am I starting to get? (1:41) Success, man. (1:41) I feel like...(1:42) I feel like you're starting to get it. (1:44) I wanted to talk about this stuff forever, always.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:47) Now you're coming with ideas. (1:48) We were like a consciousness podcast for a long time, so I wanted to talk about shit you couldn't even see or feel. (1:54) The brand impacted what you talked about a lot.(1:57) Always. (1:58) Yeah, if this became a mixed martial arts show, everything would be different. (2:01) I'd have a whiskey right now probably.

Alan Lazaros

(2:03) You need the show to be a byproduct of you, not you to be a byproduct of the show. (2:08) I know, I go where the wind takes me though, you know? (2:11) Yeah.(2:11) Which is dangerous. (2:13) For sure. (2:13) Okay.(2:15) I asked Alex... (2:16) Part of it is you getting success though, right? (2:18) Yes.(2:19) You're starting to like... (2:20) I can tell, it's like, it's all clicking. (2:22) So many of the things we used to talk about...(2:24) Are clicking.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:26) I recorded a rap last night, right? (2:29) And in the beginning, I was talking about success. (2:31) And when I watched it back, I was like, that's kind of fun.(2:33) Is that arrogant? (2:34) Like I said I'm successful. (2:36) Is that arrogant?(2:37) It was weird for me. (2:38) Okay, I want to stay on point.

Alan Lazaros

(2:40) What was your answer?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:41) My answer is...

Alan Lazaros

(2:41) You can't leave on a cliffhanger like that.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:42) Always. (2:43) No, you can't say you're not arrogant because that doesn't... (2:46) Then you are, because you can't be humble and say you are.(2:48) I'm still working through that. (2:51) What is the truth?

Alan Lazaros

(2:52) No, I don't think so. (2:55) Same, and not to mention it's rap. (2:56) Rap is you're supposed to be arrogant.(2:58) Yeah, but I don't like to be. (3:02) Rap is... (3:04) You're supposed to flex the ego.(3:06) That's why you listen to rap in the gym, baby. (3:09) Because you're supposed to fucking... (3:10) Yeah, but I don't...

Kevin Palmieri

(3:11) Dude, I listen to... (3:13) You know who Tate McRae is? (3:15) You don't.(3:16) No. (3:16) Beautiful young lady. (3:19) Not at all gym music.(3:20) I was listening to her today. (3:22) I'm weird with stuff like that. (3:23) In the gym.(3:23) Yeah, I mean, I'm weird.

Alan Lazaros

(3:24) I listen to whatever I feel. (3:25) That's why I listen to FX. (3:26) Of course he's arrogant, but he gets you going.(3:30) Yeah, that's fair. (3:31) You're supposed to bring out the warrior. (3:34) That's the point of rap, I thought.(3:35) But again, I think other people listen because they like it or whatever. (3:38) I always have utility in my music. (3:40) I listen because I like it, baby.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:43) Okay, let's get on point here.

Alan Lazaros

(3:45) Saturday recordings are always kind of a shit show. (3:47) Right before bed, you're not listening to hardcore rap though, right? (3:49) Yes, I am.(3:51) That's terrible. (3:52) You gotta listen to deep sleep music.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:54) No, man, I listen to what I feel. (3:55) Piano. (3:56) For me, it's not about...(3:58) It's about the lyricism. (3:59) It's about putting words together. (4:01) It's not...(4:02) It is a fucking experience for me. (4:04) One of my favorite things in the world, like when Taryn goes away and does something, I will take an edible and I will just sit on the couch and listen to music. (4:11) And it just feels different.(4:13) And I understand it differently. (4:14) And I can hear every instrument. (4:16) In another life, I was a musician for sure.(4:20) For sure.

Alan Lazaros

(4:21) Last piece, and then we'll get into the value. (4:23) We will not.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:24) Most likely. (4:24) We will.

Alan Lazaros

(4:25) This is not what we expected the episode to be. (4:29) I do believe... (4:30) It's gonna be a part two.(4:30) You would benefit tremendously. (4:32) This will be a part two. (4:33) You would benefit tremendously from utility in your music.(4:37) So for example, it's not like... (4:39) Imagine a movie scene that's supposed to be deeply emotional. (4:42) And there's like rap in the background.(4:44) Hardcore rap in the background. (4:46) There's... (4:46) Your life is the movie in this metaphor.(4:50) Emilia and I, I have certain pre-workout music. (4:53) I have certain during workout music. (4:54) And I have certain post-workout music.(4:56) The post-workout music needs to be calm and like a transition into work. (5:01) Or a transition into evening R&R. (5:04) Everything is of utility.(5:06) And I just think that that's an underused... (5:07) I'm not saying everything has to be. (5:09) Let me...(5:10) Music is a tool that can be used to manage your state.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:15) What if my relationship with it is different than yours? (5:18) I don't listen to... (5:19) There is no pre-workout music.(5:21) I listen to a book on the way to the gym. (5:23) And I do not put music on until I'm in the locker room walking out into the gym floor.

Alan Lazaros

(5:28) No pre-workout. (5:29) We'll do an episode another time on state management. (5:32) Okay.(5:32) Like peak... (5:33) You need to put yourself in a proper state for each thing. (5:37) One of the reasons I'm so jacked up all the time is because this is a success podcast.(5:41) Emilia and I had a conversation recently. (5:43) She does deep inner work with people. (5:45) She needs to be central.(5:47) So there's ventral vagal, dorsal. (5:49) There's all these different states that you can be in. (5:52) And I'm always ramping up, baby, for my work.(5:55) Because we're supposed to be success oriented and external driven goals. (5:59) Let's go. (6:00) She needs to get centered and do inner deep inner work with people.(6:04) So if my therapist was always jacked up every time I got on the call, that would be a little weird, right? (6:09) Yeah. (6:09) So everything is based on your state.(6:11) Imagine like a football team coming out to fucking opera. (6:16) Like that wouldn't work. (6:17) They're supposed to get jacked up with hardcore rappers.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:19) You're missing it. (6:20) I know fighters that have come out. (6:23) There was a fighter who is one of the just.(6:25) He would fight you in the parking lot for a pickle. (6:28) Just because he wanted to come out to Halo by Beyonce.

Alan Lazaros

(6:33) Okay, that is an anomaly, not the norm. (6:36) But I'm saying I'm an anomaly, baby. (6:39) I've been listening to acoustic music in the gym since I was like 16.(6:44) And you think that that's optimal. (6:45) I'm saying that I think it's interesting if you're in that place. (6:50) But there are times when you need to get in a certain state, which is what we're talking about, by the way.(6:56) I guess this is about getting overwhelmed. (6:58) If you are overwhelmed and you listen to like sad songs, you're going to shut down instead of ignite. (7:04) Music is a tool to either ignite your state or bring you up or down.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:09) I need to correct myself. (7:10) He actually wanted to come out to the Halo theme song. (7:12) They actually accidentally did the Beyonce Halo.(7:14) That's my bad.

Alan Lazaros

(7:15) Oh, no way. (7:15) The Halo theme song is dope. (7:17) It's so good.(7:18) For anyone who was a Halo kid in the 90s, I talked to someone yesterday. (7:21) Pedro, shout out to your new client. (7:24) He was like, I was like, you play any video games as a kid?(7:26) Because I needed to use it as a metaphor. (7:27) Of course. (7:28) He's like, Halo?(7:28) I was like, yes. (7:29) And we just went off. (7:31) Anyways, I digress.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:32) Whoever you resonate with, please message us and let us know. (7:35) Because I don't know. (7:36) I know a lot of people that like to listen to music that moves them.(7:39) And if that's to your point, emotionally, it puts me in a state. (7:42) But it doesn't have to be intense.

Alan Lazaros

(7:44) That's all. (7:45) Fair. (7:46) You're listening because you want to.(7:49) But there's a deeper reason for music. (7:52) The deeper reason is the state it puts you in.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:54) I think I'm listening because I know what state it'll put me in, I think.

Alan Lazaros

(7:57) I agree. (7:58) But you're not saying that.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:00) So it's useless to our listeners. (8:01) I'm sorry for you out there, whether you're watching or listening. (8:04) But if you're on my end, please let me know.(8:06) And then we will stack the cards against one Allen Lazarus. (8:09) All right, we're going to do a part two. (8:11) We already agreed on that before we did this.(8:13) But let me give you, let's make sure we give some value in this episode. (8:17) I asked Allen, I said, what advice would you give to someone? (8:20) And he said, I don't do it.(8:21) I don't know. (8:22) This isn't really my jam. (8:23) When I get overwhelmed, I just work harder and I won't put words in your mouth.(8:26) But essentially, I think you like it. (8:28) Yeah, there's a little there's a little piece of that for sure. (8:31) And I said, all right, well, maybe I'll talk about it.(8:35) We are going to get pulled from the internet because of this for sure. (8:41) That is intense. (8:42) Can't you do like 10 seconds?(8:44) I don't know what it is. (8:45) Yeah, you're good. (8:46) I mean, whatever.(8:47) It's not like we're monetized anyway, whatever you want to block that out. (8:50) You block it out. (8:51) Who cares?(8:52) Yeah, that was the halo theme song. (8:53) Everyone. (8:55) I said to Allen, I asked him and he said, I don't know if I'm the best person to answer this.(8:58) And I said, all right, maybe I'll let me take a crack at it. (9:01) I think you need to find somebody else that sets the pace. (9:05) Because I think it's probably our natural tendency.(9:08) Most people to shut down when you get overwhelmed just from a self-preservation perspective.

Alan Lazaros

(9:13) Uh, flight, flight, freeze and fawn. (9:15) What do you think is the percentage? (9:16) Because basically what happens is when you're overwhelmed, you get kicked outside your trauma window.(9:22) We had a conversation on group coaching about this. (9:25) And I said, who here loves the saying? (9:28) When the going gets tough, the tough get going.(9:31) And I raised my hand. (9:32) Amy Lennius did as well. (9:34) Shout out to you, Amy.(9:35) And no one else did. (9:36) And I was like, I want to like it. (9:40) Okay.(9:41) No, I appreciate your honesty. (9:42) Because this is brand new information for me. (9:44) I've said that to myself 10,000 times in my life.(9:48) At least I say that to myself all the time. (9:51) I said that to myself this morning. (9:52) It's like, dude, get the fuck up.(9:54) What are we doing here? (9:56) Get up, get it going. (9:57) What are we doing?(9:58) That tough love ignites me. (10:02) I know how I'd survive without it.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:04) I don't either. (10:05) But that's the thing is, I think that's, it's always been that it's, it's very hard for somebody who just has something maybe unconsciously just over the years that is just ingrained in you. (10:16) It's hard to teach that.

Alan Lazaros

(10:17) The fight response. (10:19) The flight response is to avoid. (10:21) The freeze response is to do nothing.(10:23) The fawn response is to appease. (10:25) And the fight response is the warrior. (10:27) I think there's two versions.(10:29) There's public and private. (10:30) Agreed. (10:31) I'm with you 100%.(10:32) Yeah, I think there's public and private. (10:33) My public response is to shut down for sure. (10:36) For sure.(10:37) Behind the scenes though, are you kidding me? (10:40) Almost never.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:40) Well, that's a deeper conversation is there's, there's public. (10:44) Because I know a lot of people that they like, they talk big game about everything behind the scenes. (10:48) I think your public one is to fight.

Alan Lazaros

(10:51) Mine is to shut down. (10:52) I think it depends. (10:53) But behind the scenes, I almost never.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:58) It's, I think it's like micro. (11:01) The more overwhelmed I get, the more I find myself searching for distractions. (11:06) Like I have to consciously say, Kev, you have a, you know exactly what you're supposed to do.(11:10) It's right in front of you. (11:11) But I'm so overwhelmed that it's like, it's I, I search for distractions. (11:16) I try to take my mind off of how overwhelmed I want to escape.(11:18) That's it. (11:19) That's the best. (11:19) So that's flight.(11:20) That would be a flight. (11:21) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(11:22) When I'm overwhelmed, I behind the scenes, I flight. (11:24) For me, it's get as much done on the list so that you can get certainty back.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:30) That's what it should be for me. (11:32) I mean, that's the antidote. (11:33) The antidote is certainty for me.(11:36) So when I have like last night, this week was really overwhelming and it was long, but there was a couple bouts where I had like three hours of just behind the scenes time. (11:44) I feel so good today. (11:46) So good.(11:47) I don't feel nearly as overwhelmed as I did. (11:49) Same amount of work. (11:50) You got shit done.

Alan Lazaros

(11:50) Not because you escaped.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:52) Not because I escaped.

Alan Lazaros

(11:52) No, because I got to escape is nothing gets done. (11:55) So it's, it's even worse when you come back.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:57) It feels so good. (11:58) It feels so good. (11:59) You know, it's like, well, I've been, I've been working hard.(12:02) I'm going to watch a movie. (12:03) It's like when you finish that at 11 am, you do that at 11 am.

Alan Lazaros

(12:07) You're in so much trouble. (12:08) The whole day is gone. (12:08) Your state is.(12:09) Yeah. (12:10) The whole day is gone. (12:11) Yep.(12:11) You have to time your meals. (12:12) You have to time what music you do. (12:14) You have to make sure if you watch a movie midday, you're in trouble.(12:17) It's all based on the rhythm of your days. (12:19) And we, we don't talk about this enough. (12:21) We'll talk productivity.(12:22) We'll talk state management. (12:23) We'll talk about this again. (12:25) If you are shut down by overwhelm, you definitely need to be aware of that because we found Kevin and I that when I was in my challenge skills, sweet spot, he was shutting down.(12:39) And then when he was in his challenge skills, sweet spot, and he was ignited, I was bored. (12:43) Yeah. (12:44) And almost I get lazy if I'm not overwhelmed enough.(12:47) It's like, imagine me doing five pound dumbbells for, for curls. (12:52) It's, it's like, well, this is boring. (12:53) This is what's the point.(12:55) This is dumb. (12:55) But if you do fifties, it's like, oh shit. (12:58) Okay.(12:58) This is like going to rip my bicep. (13:00) Maybe not fifties, but seventies we'll say. (13:02) And then forties are the sweet spot.(13:05) Forties is my challenge skills, sweet spot. (13:07) So everyone has to find their own. (13:09) And if your trauma response is to flee or to freeze, every time you go outside your trauma window, business is probably not the answer.(13:19) Being an entrepreneur is not a good idea unless you have a business partner, the warriors. (13:25) Last piece. (13:26) If you do start a business, listen to business growth university, that podcast will make it as clear as day, whether or not you should or should not go down this path.(13:35) And not, not meaning you're better or worse than me or anything like that. (13:38) It's, it's, it's, this will be a bad idea. (13:41) If you don't have that warrior part, that chip on your shoulder, that, that fight response, you need that to survive in business.(13:49) You just do.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:50) That's why, that's why Alan's a CEO. (13:52) And that's one of the reasons, right? (13:54) If when we start taking on water, Alan, I run, it's like, I got to go fucking, I got to get somewhere.(13:59) I got to get somewhere high right now. (14:01) I got to find somewhere high so I can, I can outrun this water. (14:04) Alan goes to like where the wheel is and he straps in and he says, all right, if we're going down, I'm going down with a ship.(14:10) And I'm like, I'm building a lifeboat. (14:12) I'm launching a lifeboat off the side. (14:14) I gotta get out of here.(14:15) How did you grab a bail man and start bailing? (14:18) We're going to do a part two of this because I feel like this might be the least valuable episode in NLU history. (14:25) No, not true.(14:26) Based on what we said we were going to talk about. (14:27) Book club every Saturday, 1230 Eastern time. (14:31) Rationality by Steven Pinker.(14:33) Yes, sir. (14:34) Is it? (14:34) Who's the Dan?(14:35) Isn't there a Daniel? (14:37) No, no. (14:37) Nope.(14:37) Pinker just.

Alan Lazaros

(14:38) Oh, I don't know. (14:39) Yeah, there is.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:40) Dan Pink. (14:40) Daniel Pink. (14:41) Daniel Pink.(14:42) Okay. (14:42) Well, that's every Saturday, 1230 Eastern time. (14:45) Alan is showing the book Rationality.(14:47) It will help you think more rational, make sense, more logically, less emotionally based in data, based in numbers, based in probabilities. (14:54) If we want to be more successful, that is something we could all lean into. (14:57) Now we have a wonderful Facebook group.(14:59) Next Level Nation will help you get a little bit closer to the next level every single day. (15:04) Anything you want to add?

Alan Lazaros

(15:05) If you are out there and you feel like you shut down every time, every time things get tough, my coaching will help you stay accountable to not shutting down all the time. (15:14) There are some people that I coach that are traditionally more maybe warm and loving and soft, for lack of better phrasing, which is great, but they needed someone to give them the kick in the ass they need every now and then. (15:26) And they need someone to do it for that isn't them.(15:28) They'll let themselves down all the time, but they won't let me down. (15:31) It's very clear. (15:33) So my coaching for once a month is more affordable than you think.(15:36) I just got a new client last night. (15:37) Super pumped. (15:38) And you can be on my roster even if we only do one session per month to start.(15:43) Boom.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:44) All right. (15:44) As always, we love you. (15:45) We appreciate you.(15:46) Grateful for each and every one of you. (15:47) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(15:54) Keep reaching for your full potential. (15:56) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:58) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (16:02) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(16:05) We mean it when we say family. (16:07) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (16:10) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(16:14) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.