Your Reaction To Overwhelm Is Affecting Your Success Pt2 (2227)

Feeling crushed by pressure or ready to crack under chaos? In this unfiltered conversation, Kevin and Alan reveal why your reaction to overwhelm might be quietly sabotaging your success. They share hard-earned lessons on discipline, accountability, and what it really takes to perform when life feels too heavy to carry. If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning in your own goals, this one’s your lifeline back to clarity, grit, and growth. Don’t just survive the stress, learn how to use it as fuel. Press play and take your power back before overwhelm takes you out.

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Show notes:
(2:12) Understanding the freeze response
(4:03) The privilege of pressure
(7:06) Discipline, streaks, and daily habits
(10:49) Setting goals when life feels full
(12:26) Why accountability changes everything
(15:23) Making space to protect your peace
(17:52) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:12 Understanding the freeze response
• 4:03 The privilege of pressure
• 7:06 Discipline, streaks, and daily habits
• 10:49 Setting goals when life feels full
• 12:26 Why accountability changes everything
• 15:23 Making space to protect your peace
• 17:52 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) As we mentioned in yesterday's episode, if you are somebody that gets shut down when you start to feel stressed, when you start to feel overwhelmed, that unfortunately is a recipe for disaster when it comes to success. (0:12) We're going to talk about that today. (0:14) When the going gets tough, the tough get going.(0:17) Some people do not resonate with that. (0:19) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:22) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.(0:24) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:27) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. (0:34) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.(0:40) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (0:56) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:03) Welcome to Next Level University.(1:08) Next Level Nation, I do not resonate with that. (1:10) Today, for episode number 2,227, your reaction to overwhelm is affecting your success, part due. (1:16) So we didn't add any value, in my humble opinion, in the first episode.(1:20) Not as much value as we wanted. (1:22) Fair. (1:24) And Alan will say, well, it's an asymptote.(1:26) You can actually never add the right amount of value you want because it's never-ending. (1:30) I'd say fair as well. (1:32) Okay.(1:33) I think we added value. (1:34) I think we added value. (1:35) Not as much, though.(1:36) Not as much as we aspired to. (1:39) I want to give a good, tangible takeaway for somebody out there. (1:41) Have you ever done an episode where you added as much value as you aspired to?(1:44) So many times. (1:45) Really? (1:47) I never hit the mark, man.(1:48) Well, we are different humans. (1:50) Aim high and miss. (1:53) Repeatedly.(1:53) I like to aim low and connect. (1:58) Not saying I hit a home run every time, but let me connect. (2:00) Let me just hit the ball.(2:01) That's what it is. (2:02) I'm going for a grand slam and I hit a base hit. (2:05) You're going for a bunt and you hit a base hit.(2:07) You get to feel good about it.

Alan Lazaros

(2:08) I might rip a double every once in a while.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:10) All right. (2:10) Before we go off the rails. (2:11) Okay.(2:12) So if you didn't listen to yesterday's episode, we were talking about how there are several different responses to trauma. (2:19) Trauma responses. (2:20) Fight, flight, freeze, fawn.(2:21) And today we're talking about just shutting down. (2:24) So I am somebody who I am unbelievably overwhelmed right now in this moment. (2:29) I literally told Alan, I said, I'm either going to have to stay up late tonight and live in WhatsApp because there's, we have launches going tomorrow that I need to be a part of, or I'm just gonna have to get up at four o'clock in the morning, come in the office and see what's what, and then go to the gym and just start my, my day early.(2:44) But I am somebody who likes to shut down. (2:47) I won't even say I like to. (2:49) It feels necessary.(2:51) It feels okay. (2:52) What is it? (2:54) Describe to me what it feels like for you when you get overwhelmed.(2:57) Like what is your, what does it feel like you need to do? (3:01) What is a necessity for you when you start to get overwhelmed? (3:06) Figure out how to hit the target or yeah, that figure out what to get rid of.(3:14) I do agree that you gotta get stuff off the boat. (3:17) If the boat's sinking, you gotta, you gotta take away some stuff.

Alan Lazaros

(3:20) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:20) Get some shit off the boat. (3:22) It's, it's how do I, how do I not lower the target? (3:25) That's, I think that's what it is.(3:27) I really do. (3:28) So for example, and I want to share this with everybody listening, you don't have to do anything. (3:34) You could just lose the client for sure.(3:37) I mean, you shouldn't, please don't. (3:39) I will not. (3:40) But you don't have to do anything.(3:42) You could just not, you know, you just lay down all day tomorrow and the next day and the day after that and the day after that. (3:48) And if you want to be the CSO of this company, then you have to X, Y, Z. (3:58) I think it's important for everyone to realize that overwhelm is usually by choice.(4:03) It's predicated on a goal or it's predicated on a hole that you've dug that you cannot dig out of. (4:10) I saw a quote the other day. (4:11) It was something along the lines of what a privilege it is to be overwhelmed in the pursuit of your dreams or something.(4:16) Oh yeah. (4:16) The best. (4:17) Like that is.(4:18) I resonate so much with that. (4:19) Do you? (4:20) More than ever.(4:21) Yeah. (4:21) Yeah. (4:21) But again, man, when you feel so privileged that this pressure is by.(4:26) By design. (4:27) Design. (4:27) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(4:27) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:27) Such a good problem to have. (4:29) Like these are not real problems. (4:30) You don't have to succeed with that client.(4:32) You could just lose the client. (4:34) Yeah. (4:34) But to me.(4:35) It's a terrible idea. (4:36) And we lose our fucking goals if you do. (4:38) I feel like.(4:38) But that is more of a real problem than some of my real problems in my mind, you know, that's because you're tied to the goals. (4:46) Yeah. (4:48) Yeah.(4:50) My natural when I start to get overwhelmed, it literally like. (4:56) I can tell you're like you're like you seem unfulfilled when I saw you tonight. (5:03) You're frustrated and you're like shut down and you're unfulfilled.(5:07) You just it's just too much. (5:09) Yeah. (5:09) I mean, again, it's also, you know, it's the at the end of a long day and I've been just.(5:15) I'm crushing stuff like today was a really productive day. (5:17) I got so much done. (5:18) It was great.(5:18) Nice. (5:19) But it's almost like you feel a little bit defeated. (5:21) It's not bad.(5:22) It's just an energy of like. (5:24) Yeah, it's like you said, Groundhog Day. (5:26) I'm just going to wake up tomorrow and try to get through the day.(5:28) Try to get through the day. (5:29) You can only do that for so long before you get really depressed. (5:32) I think that.(5:36) Defeated is a spectrum. (5:38) So that's why. (5:39) For sure.(5:39) I need to aim right now. (5:41) There's just I wrote, I wrote a little song the other day and it was literally about the pressure of success. (5:49) I love this is awesome.(5:51) This is great. (5:52) I appreciate it. (5:52) This is great.(5:53) I'm just grateful to hear a rap that's about something of meaning. (5:57) Well, that's I mean, that's what I tend to do right when I when I have the two hours available to me on a Friday evening when my wife is away. (6:04) I was like, I'm going to do a little writing tonight.(6:06) I don't know if I have a good. (6:08) It's what Kev used to do every time he was in a dark place based on your Facebook memory. (6:12) I used to write so much.(6:14) That was my escape. (6:15) Yeah, it was my escape. (6:16) The way you cope.(6:17) That was the way you express. (6:18) I had a moment. (6:20) When was it a couple days ago?(6:22) Dude, when is the last time you went to the gym twice in a day? (6:26) Oh, dude, remember that years? (6:29) I had this idea of that is just I had my brain said that longing.(6:34) I know what I had this longing of like, dude, I know that's a good point. (6:38) It's a great point. (6:39) I used to get overwhelmed or super inspired.(6:43) And I would literally when I used to live with my mom and say, screw it, let's go. (6:47) I would go downstairs and they'd be like, where are you going? (6:49) I'd be like going to the gym again.(6:50) Like you just got back three hours ago. (6:51) I don't care. (6:52) I'm going to the gym.(6:52) It was the best. (6:53) Yeah, it was the absolute best. (6:55) That doesn't that sound so farfetched now?(6:57) It seems impossible way. (6:59) It seems impossible way. (7:01) I told Amelia recently the hour a day is like.(7:06) Sort of fucking crazy. (7:07) Honestly, we Amelia and I have done an hour a day every day for the last three or four months. (7:12) Before that, it was 45 minutes.(7:13) Before that, it was a half hour. (7:14) We're coming up on 3.7 years of not missing a day of exercise. (7:18) And 30 minutes was pretty easy.(7:20) It wasn't that bad. (7:22) An hour is fucking crazy. (7:24) Dude, it's kind of fucking crazy.(7:27) And I love it. (7:28) But I talked to her. (7:30) I said, you know, we can't go any more than this.(7:33) Like no matter what, like we need to hard stop. (7:35) I'm guessing the cardio is probably harder than the. (7:38) No, Jim.

Alan Lazaros

(7:39) No.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:42) Because you're already there. (7:43) It is the hardest. (7:46) Let me say he's the hardest going to the gym versus walk around the neighborhood.(7:50) What's harder? (7:52) Go to the gym logistically. (7:55) Yeah, because you got to drive because you got to drive and everything.(7:57) Yeah, it's. (7:59) And. (8:00) After a long day, if you missed in the morning, so if we miss in the morning, we have to go in the evening.(8:05) And you can't miss in the evening. (8:06) We've never missed like we've never gone to bed without exercising within that waking bed period. (8:13) And that's one of those habits that I'm still hanging on to for dear life that I just just like I know you, we've never missed an episode.(8:21) We did weekly, then twice a week, then three times a week, then four times. (8:25) No, then we went from three to five and five to seven. (8:28) This is one of those just hang on for dear life and do not miss.(8:32) Don't break the streak. (8:33) And the next level sales system I broke. (8:37) And got me broke it 150 days in a row, and I broke it.(8:42) I couldn't do it now. (8:44) I also tweaked it. (8:45) So 2.0 sales system, if anyone wants to coaching clients, if you want the new one, reach out. (8:52) And it's much more strategic now, and it's also much more manageable. (8:55) I was doing 35 touches a day every day, plus the hour workout, plus everything else I do. (9:00) It's just I mean, I was hanging on for dear life for that streak.(9:05) Overwhelm back to the overwhelm piece. (9:06) I talked to you and I said, sweetheart, we cannot go more than an hour. (9:13) I know we can physically.(9:15) We shouldn't. (9:16) We shouldn't. (9:17) And when we have children, we definitely shouldn't because I can't go back.(9:20) There's something about me that won't go back. (9:23) I just don't like going backwards. (9:26) I can't stand it.(9:27) You and I were just talking about that. (9:29) Off air is like I have a certain goal I'm trying to hit. (9:34) I can't lower the target because I'd rather just get better.(9:38) But here's the thing, and this is something that I really hope lands for people. (9:44) When you set a goal to run a marathon or to start a podcast or to start a business or to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks, whatever goal it is, when you set the goal, it's usually when you have time and space. (9:59) You and I are both overwhelmed as hell right now.(10:02) Straight up, very overwhelmed. (10:05) If 10 is we're going to burst, we're at nine for sure, headed to 10. (10:09) And I can feel it all over us.(10:11) It is what it is. (10:12) I have a client in seven minutes ago, which I already messaged him saying 15 minutes. (10:20) The point that I'm making, though, that's a perfect example.(10:24) I have a client seven minutes ago. (10:27) When you set a goal, it's usually when you're New Year's resolutions. (10:30) You're reflecting on the previous year.(10:32) You have time and space. (10:33) It's a weekend. (10:34) You've got a couple hours of reflection.(10:35) Or the goal is sexy. (10:37) Dude, I'm telling you, when the goal is sexy, it's easy to say, oh, yeah, I'm going to do this. (10:43) And then that it wears off and it's like, oh, OK, I got to do this again today and tomorrow and the next day and the next day.(10:49) Yeah. (10:49) That's where it gets rough. (10:53) But when you set the goal and you have space, let's say we're all a cup.(10:57) The cup is two thirds full and full of full means you're at capacity. (11:03) The top of the cup is capacity. (11:05) Now, the cool thing in this metaphor is the cup grows.(11:08) Unfortunately, you pouring more water in the cup grows faster than the cup. (11:12) And that's how you stay overwhelmed constantly. (11:14) Next level, next level, next level, next level, next level.(11:18) When you set the goal, you're two thirds full. (11:20) You're like, I got some I got some space. (11:22) And back when you were going to the gym twice a day, me too, we had space.(11:27) I miss it. (11:28) The idea of going back to two times a day. (11:30) It's crazy.(11:32) I no way, dude. (11:34) Emilio and I are trying to do four days a week. (11:36) Every other cardio.(11:38) So seven days a week of exercise. (11:39) Every other is cardio. (11:42) Sometimes it's like, sweetheart, we've only went to the gym two fucking times this week.(11:47) Like we still need a hit training and we still need another weight training. (11:50) So we have the back to back here. (11:52) It is really tough when you're working till eight every night.(11:56) And eight is the minimum. (11:57) It's been longer than that. (11:59) So now, but here's the thing.(12:00) Think about this. (12:01) No one can feel bad for me. (12:03) This is all by choice.(12:04) I could easily just break the streak. (12:06) That ain't me. (12:08) So when you set the goal, you have a third left.(12:11) But then life happens. (12:14) Her it was her grandmother's birthday. (12:16) Her grandmother and her have birthdays in the same part of the month.(12:19) So they got together. (12:21) Awesome. (12:21) Loved it.(12:22) Saw Mimi. (12:22) Love Mimi. (12:25) Oh, oh, there goes a couple hours.(12:29) Where am I going to fit this, this, this, this, and this? (12:32) And this is the thing that I want to share with everybody is like. (12:36) When you have goals, your relationships will always suffer.(12:40) Unless those relationships have the same goals. (12:44) And you cannot set a goal. (12:46) Cannot without it increasing your overwhelm, man.(12:52) All right. (12:52) So let's let me give some tactics. (12:54) Some tangibilities, tangents, tangibles.(12:57) How have you survived all this? (12:59) That's what this goes down to is like for someone else who shuts down. (13:02) How did I get through this?(13:04) I think you have to have a coach. (13:06) Because you won't naturally keep the pace. (13:10) I won't naturally like I would, I would slow down.(13:13) I don't, most people don't admit that. (13:15) They're like, well, no, I'd fucking, I don't need anybody. (13:17) It's like, okay, well, whatever.(13:18) Maybe, you know, most people do. (13:19) I do for sure. (13:21) I definitely slow down without Amelia for sure.(13:22) I think you need somebody that is nipping at your ass a little bit. (13:29) I think that's why entrepreneurship is not for everybody. (13:32) Because tomorrow when I wake up or tonight when I decide, I don't know.(13:36) I don't even know what time I'm going to go to bed. (13:37) I might stay up till midnight to make this. (13:40) I don't know what's going to happen yet.(13:41) I don't know. (13:42) But nobody, if it was just me, there's nobody looking over. (13:47) And I don't really consider you looking over, but I do.(13:49) Right. (13:50) Yeah. (13:50) I would recognize when you're slipping.(13:52) I always do. (13:53) Right. (13:53) So vice versa.(13:54) And vice versa. (13:55) I think that's a piece. (13:56) I think that's a piece is without accountability.(13:58) When I'm slipping, you kind of like it. (13:59) I do. (14:00) Because it gives you a breath of fresh air.(14:02) I do. (14:02) I think, honestly, I think it humanizes you to me. (14:06) Like the fact that you, you fucked up the sales system in my mind is like, holy shit.(14:09) He's, he's actually a human being. (14:10) That bothered me so much. (14:12) I can imagine.(14:13) And I'm not celebrating that. (14:14) I don't want to. (14:14) I know, I know, but it does.(14:16) Yeah. (14:16) It's like, oh my goodness. (14:17) There is some level of fallibility in this human being.(14:22) Oh my gosh. (14:22) For sure. (14:23) Of course.(14:24) I think one, you need necessity. (14:26) You need accountability. (14:27) I'll say accountability.(14:28) Overwhelm is necessity. (14:30) And I think you need to, this is what works for me. (14:35) I went to Alan.(14:35) I said, dude, I need permission in advance to treat everything I have going on with clients as like coaching calls. (14:43) And I'm blocking my calendar and nothing can get booked over nothing. (14:46) Now NLU, obviously we'll find a way, but that has helped me tremendously because now what's really hard for me is to compartmentalize.(14:56) I'm thinking of this client right now. (14:58) I will not hit flow. (15:00) This is not going to be an enjoyable episode for me really.(15:02) Cause I'm thinking, have they messaged me? (15:05) Have they messaged me? (15:07) Are they waiting on me?(15:08) And when I have space in my day, things don't pile up as much. (15:13) I'm still overwhelmed, but I'm not, there's not a pile up. (15:16) There's not traffic building.(15:18) The weight is still heavy, but there's not more weight getting added on. (15:22) And I, for me making space. (15:23) Now, again, I have the privilege of making my own schedule.(15:26) I can go to the gym when I want. (15:27) I can do all that. (15:28) I can wake up when I want all that.(15:29) If you're out there and you don't have that yet, I don't know if I have a good, a good advice other than stop saying yes to stuff that is like, yeah, I kind of enjoy it. (15:40) It might be the season to get rid of that shit for a little bit. (15:43) Yeah.(15:43) The principle applies to everyone. (15:45) We'll go after this, but you, you have to throw things overboard. (15:49) I had to throw out the old sales system cause I couldn't sustain it and I had to redesign it and now it's only 25 touches a day instead of 35 because I just couldn't do it.(16:00) Well, here's the truth. (16:01) I could have done it, but I can't do it. (16:03) And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and.(16:05) So I had to choose. (16:06) You have to be very discerning. (16:08) Goals force you to be very discerning.(16:10) I told Amelia, I would love to go on the hike with you and Mimi. (16:13) Mimi asked. (16:14) And I said, no, I got to go.(16:15) Thank you so much. (16:16) We had tea. (16:16) We hung out all good.(16:18) But no, my goals held me accountable to doing things that I normally wouldn't have. (16:26) And I would have easily just love to go on a hike with them. (16:29) And we went to the gym after that.(16:31) So Amelia, I asked her like, are you going to hike and then also go to the gym? (16:34) And she's like, yeah. (16:35) I'm like, that's nuts.(16:36) I mean, okay. (16:37) It's a great workout. (16:38) But at the end of the day, you have to be super discerning.(16:42) And that's why I always recommend having three goals at a time. (16:45) Because if you have more than three priorities, more than three goals, more than three most important metrics, you're basically just going to burn to the ground completely. (16:54) Speaking of burning to the ground, you hear the fire trucks driving by my, my home right now.(16:58) So hopefully everybody's okay out there and nobody's burning to the ground out there. (17:01) Okay. (17:02) What is the, what is the takeaway?(17:04) My apologies for the, for the loudness. (17:06) What is the takeaway? (17:08) Throw shit overboard.(17:09) Part one. (17:10) Part two, you got to be very honest with what matters the most, right? (17:14) I, there's very few things that actually can matter at this point.(17:19) Yeah. (17:19) I can't be, I rapped because it was like seven o'clock on a Friday and Taryn left. (17:25) And I was like, I want to do something that fills my cup.(17:28) I don't want to just watch TV. (17:29) And I was feeling it definitely filled me up. (17:32) It was great.(17:33) That helped me with overwhelm. (17:34) That's the other thing too. (17:35) Last thing.(17:36) And then we'll go sometimes taking action and doing something that requires effort actually helps you with overwhelm. (17:42) If it fulfills you. (17:43) Yeah.(17:43) That's a whole, that's a whole different thing. (17:45) All right. (17:45) Book club is every Saturday at 1230 Eastern time.(17:48) Next of a nation, a private Facebook group of amazing humans like you trying to get to the next level. (17:52) As always, we love you. (17:53) We appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you.(17:55) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here to help you get there. (18:01) Keep reaching for your full potential. (18:03) Next level nation.(18:05) Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university. (18:09) We love connecting with the next level family. (18:12) We mean it when we say family.(18:14) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (18:17) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (18:21) Thank you again.(18:22) And we will talk to you tomorrow.