When You Don’t “Want To” But Know You Should (2230)

What if the thing you’re resisting is the very thing that will change your life? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan unpack what it really means to follow through when you don’t feel like it. They share how to tell when discomfort is a sign of growth, why courage always comes before clarity, and the hidden cost of ignoring your purpose. This one’s for the dream chasers who know deep down they’re meant for more, but need that push to move. Don’t wait for motivation, create momentum and rise to your next level today.

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Show notes:
(2:06) The whisper that becomes a scream
(7:14) Why sharing your truth matters
(12:10) The ways we hide
(18:12) Listening to your highest self
(24:00) Not everyone should chase their dream
(27:20) The cost of commitment and consistency
(30:02) How pain and growth work together
(35:25) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:06 The whisper that becomes a scream
• 7:14 Why sharing your truth matters
• 12:10 The ways we hide
• 18:12 Listening to your highest self
• 24:00 Not everyone should chase their dream
• 27:20 The cost of commitment and consistency
• 30:02 How pain and growth work together
• 35:25 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If I had a dollar for every time Alan said, dude, I don't even want to do this. (0:05) I don't want to tell the story. (0:07) I don't want to lean into who I am, but I know I have to, I would be much wealthier than I am today.(0:12) For sure. (0:13) Courage. (0:14) I think you're calling your purpose, your mission, your goals, your dreams.(0:20) If they are non-ego dreams, they're going to require so much freaking courage. (0:26) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:29) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:34) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. (0:40) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (0:47) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits in defining your own unique version of success.(1:02) Self-improvement in your pocket every day from anywhere, completely free. (1:09) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:14) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,230.(1:18) When you quote unquote, don't want to, but you know you should. (1:22) I get a message from somebody in the community and this person's fairly well-known in the community. (1:28) So I'm not going to name drop because I think it would be just too obvious, but they reached out to you.(1:34) Shout out to you. (1:34) They reached out to me and they are wanting to pivot and go in a different direction with their entrepreneurial dream chasing pursuits. (1:44) And they sent me kind of their, their idea that they have that they're going to share with you because you work with them.(1:49) And the line that jumped off the page for me that made me want to do this episode is they said, I don't even, there's a part of me that doesn't even want to do this. (1:58) But when, if we look back on all the patterns, if we look back on all the experiences, it makes sense why this person is pulled to do this in the first place. (2:06) So I thought it would be cool to have a conversation around when you don't want to do something, how do you know that you should, how do you know that it will be worth it?(2:15) Is it fear? (2:17) Is it a misalignment? (2:19) Is it delusion?(2:20) I thought it would be a cool conversation. (2:25) Tough one. (2:26) Tough one to unpack because it's very hard to make clear that, which I don't know.(2:35) I've never, I don't know if I've ever done a adequate job explaining this. (2:38) So how do you know when you should say yes? (2:45) How do you know when you should say no?(2:48) I think a lot of times things we want to do, we shouldn't. (2:52) And I think a lot of times the things we don't want to do, we should. (2:55) That's why this is so freaking confusing.(2:57) I have a theory. (2:59) I have a theory. (3:00) This is my theory.(3:03) You, when you say, I don't even know if I want to, but I feel like I should. (3:09) Not you, the collective view. (3:11) I think it's aligned.(3:12) If you believe deep down that if you pursue this thing, even if you do not get to the ultimate goal, whatever that is, what you will learn in the process is aligned with the person you want to be. (3:25) What you, let me rephrase that. (3:28) The person that you will become in the process is aligned with who you want to be.(3:31) What you learn in the process is aligned with what you want to learn. (3:35) And it checks off parts of the goal, even if you don't accomplish the whole goal. (3:40) That is my current understanding.(3:43) And depending on what your time perspective is, you believe that no matter what, it will be a win eventually, even if you don't get the win that you thought you wanted. (3:52) That's my theory. (3:56) You and I have said in the past that if you ignore the whispers long enough, they will eventually become a scream.(4:05) So circa two years ago, maybe three, I don't know. (4:09) Emilia went away for four days. (4:15) Yeah.(4:15) Kevin's laughing because you know, and I used to frequent the show friends way back, way back in high school. (4:25) Honestly, maybe even middle school. (4:27) My buddy Kiki Keith, he introduced me to friends.(4:31) He's like, dude, you got to check out this show. (4:33) It was the best show ever. (4:33) It's amazing.(4:35) I think we were in middle school then all through high school and college. (4:40) This was one of my fucking go-tos. (4:43) I've seen every friends episode.(4:45) I'm not alone in that, by the way. (4:47) There's a lot. (4:48) Very popular and hilarious, fun, loving, warm, great family humor.(4:55) Way to fucking go squad. (4:57) Awesome. (4:58) Awesome.(4:59) It makes me lazy. (5:04) Emilia went away for four days. (5:06) The first night I was like, okay, friends marathon, baby, let's do it.(5:11) It was supposed to be one episode. (5:13) It really wasn't supposed to be a friend's marathon. (5:14) It was supposed to be like a little R and R little food right in the bedroom.(5:19) Fuck it. (5:19) Crummy's all over the place. (5:22) And it's me and little Tucker back then.(5:24) I think this is before we had our cats. (5:26) So maybe this was two or three years ago. (5:29) Anyways, my point is, is I got the whisper.(5:32) Hey, you probably shouldn't let it ride to the next episode. (5:36) You should probably go to bed. (5:38) You lazy fucking piece of shit.(5:40) I'm joking. (5:41) The second I knew you were going to laugh at that. (5:43) Listen, people, I'm fucking around.(5:45) I have fun. (5:46) I got to have fun. (5:47) I got to.(5:47) Look, it's your self-talk.

Alan Lazaros

(5:51) You can't villainize somebody else's self-talk.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:53) Exactly. (5:55) But it is definitely hardcore self-talk and it's, you should not watch another one. (6:02) And then it's, you shouldn't watch another one.(6:05) Okay. (6:06) You definitely shouldn't watch another one. (6:07) Okay.(6:07) You really need to stop. (6:09) Okay, dude, it's 1am. (6:10) Like that whisper becomes a scream.(6:12) And eventually it's like, turn this off. (6:14) You got to turn this off. (6:16) I watched friends for two nights, stayed up till like 1am.(6:20) My goals started going off the rails. (6:23) My purpose. (6:23) I want to reach my full potential and help others do the same.(6:26) This ain't doing it. (6:27) This ain't doing it. (6:27) That's not aligned with reaching my full potential.(6:30) That show is not aligned with reaching your full potential. (6:34) No one on that show, quite the opposite, is reaching their full potential, but it is hilarious and fun. (6:41) So I think that that's a good metaphor.(6:43) So enough about me. (6:44) That's a good metaphor for everybody. (6:45) Like I wanted to keep watching friends, but I know that I shouldn't.(6:52) I don't want to share certain things on this fucking podcast that about my past, but I should. (7:03) And I think that that's what we all have to do is have the courage to face whatever the fear is. (7:13) Why should you?(7:14) Why? (7:15) Why? (7:15) There are certain things you should share.(7:16) Why? (7:17) What's what's underneath? (7:19) Because same.

Alan Lazaros

(7:19) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:20) Same. (7:20) Yeah. (7:21) Right.(7:21) But why? (7:22) It's a disservice to the world to not share the truth, I think, because, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to call you out for a second. (7:34) You had a way worse childhood than I think you make it sound.(7:38) Yes. (7:39) And I was talking to Aaron about this last night. (7:41) I was like, it was like one time Alan sat me down.(7:44) He was like, Hey man, you know how fucked up your childhood was? (7:46) Yeah. (7:46) I'm pretty, I think I'm pretty well aware of it.(7:49) He's like, okay, I just want to make sure. (7:51) Yeah. (7:52) At the end of the day, it's, it's, I don't, I think we do people a disservice by not, here's another one, another one of calling you out.(8:03) You have a lot of grit and a lot of work ethic that I think is much more than anyone else knows. (8:09) You come off like a funny, playful guy, but I've seen you almost die underneath the weights. (8:15) And I needed to see that.(8:16) Otherwise I wouldn't be your business partner. (8:18) Straight up. (8:18) I would be like, ah, this, I can't do it with this guy.(8:20) This guy's fucking soft. (8:22) You don't want to go to war with someone who can't die for a cause. (8:26) For sure.(8:26) You need to go to war with someone who has scars and who has been through it. (8:31) And I do, I think, I think we do people a disservice. (8:34) You, you downplay cause you don't want to come off arrogant.(8:36) You don't want to come off like David Goggins. (8:39) You don't want to, I don't, I think it's stupid to like say you're hard. (8:42) One of my least favorite things in the world is the fact that I have to have to talk about it.(8:46) I'd rather just be about it and not have to talk about it, but I'm a podcaster so you kind of have to. (8:51) So that's why you have to share it because I had a team member and client way back and I shared my past very behind the scenes. (9:04) I'm talking like all of it pretty much.(9:07) And she could not believe it. (9:09) Cause I looked like a fucking, I looked like a privileged white boy. (9:17) And I was, when I was younger, I thought that for sure.(9:20) Oh, I mean how you come out, you invite me over. (9:24) We're playing Dreamcast.

Alan Lazaros

(9:25) I hit it very well.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:26) Yeah. (9:26) I hit it very well. (9:27) All right.(9:27) Yeah. (9:28) I mean the truth is a lot of people who have tough, tough upbringings do hide it because you're ashamed of it. (9:33) I was ashamed of it for a while.(9:35) Now I don't, I feel like it's a badge of honor now. (9:38) But I mean, I remember when I first got with Amelia, I remember thinking like, I remember thinking, you know, her family is, is a, is wonderful. (9:47) They're just wonderful.(9:48) And they're not perfect. (9:49) No one is, but they're wonderful. (9:51) And shout out to any of you if you're listening.(9:53) And I remember thinking, I don't really have a family. (10:03) It's a little different. (10:04) It's a little different.(10:04) We grew up a little different. (10:06) And at the end of the day, I now, I now see that as such a good thing because of what I've made of it. (10:10) And statistically and all that.(10:12) But my point of this is bringing it back to the listeners. (10:16) There are, we are all hiding from things we are ashamed of. (10:20) I just didn't realize we inflate, we deflate, we omit.(10:26) Every human being, every human being I've ever met inflates, deflates, or omits. (10:32) If you're afraid to not be enough, you are inflating. (10:35) Most likely somewhere you're pretending to be better than you are somewhere.(10:39) If you are insecure about being too much for other people, you are deflating. (10:43) I deflate all the time. (10:44) I was around Amelia's grandmother.(10:46) And I totally turned on the warm, loving, playful, you know, I wasn't this. (10:54) To the point where she watches my Facebook story and I was going off about something. (10:58) I remember thinking, I wonder what she thinks about that clip because with her, I was super playful and loving and it was a wonderful little, we had tea.(11:07) I don't fucking have tea, you know? (11:10) And again, I do. (11:11) I love tea, but it wasn't my normal.(11:15) That's not my normal day. (11:17) I remember after they left, I was sitting there going, I was like putting away the dishes and I was, you know, I had banana bread and I was like, Alan, shake it off, man. (11:26) Shake it off.(11:27) What the fuck are you doing? (11:28) It's noon on a fucking Sunday. (11:29) Like get it.(11:30) What are we doing here? (11:31) At the end of the day, that's a very playful, loving, authentic version of me that I pull out. (11:36) You're not going to be an intense, hardcore business owner with someone's grandma.(11:42) So you're different in every room. (11:44) The point that I'm making to this is I think it's, it's, it's very, very important for all of us to understand. (11:50) If you're afraid to be too much, you will deflate.(11:53) That's what I do. (11:55) I have to fight against that. (11:57) If you are afraid, you're not enough, not smart enough, not good enough, not tall enough, not good looking enough.(12:02) You're going to, you're going to inflate to try to be enough. (12:04) And if you're ashamed of where you came from or who you are, you will omit even from yourself. (12:10) We lie to ourselves and others.(12:12) You can study the science of lying. (12:13) There's a whole bunch, the neuroscience of it. (12:15) We distort our reality to cope with it.(12:18) You know, I didn't even talk about my dad's death till I was 26 years old. (12:23) I was just, I was just omitting it. (12:25) I didn't, I never talked about it because it was scary to talk about.(12:30) I want to get us back on track. (12:32) Yeah. (12:32) I want to get us back on, because my, in my mind, somebody's out there right now and they're about to make some sort of big decision, whether it's, Hey, I'm going to, I want to leave my job.(12:45) I want to leave this person. (12:46) I want to get with this person. (12:47) I want to get this job.(12:48) I want to do this. (12:48) I want to, whatever, whatever it is. (12:50) And there is a piece of them that feels deep down.(12:53) They're like, I don't even know if I, I brought something to you recently. (12:59) And I said, Hey, just so you know, I'm open to this thing because I think it'll help us with our goals and whatever. (13:06) And you were like, why this, it's not like good for you to do that.(13:11) Why do you want to do it? (13:12) And I said, I don't, because I think it's best for us. (13:15) And honestly, I don't want to do it.(13:17) I just, it was an idea that popped into my head that I thought I, I thought it was worth sharing. (13:21) I don't want it to happen, but if you hadn't shared things like that, that's one of the reasons I'm, we work together. (13:30) Well, I think that's, but I have gotten to the point where I trust that and I trust you and I don't, I think that's like part of intuition.(13:40) Were you scared to suggest that? (13:43) No, I was scared. (13:44) You'd say yes.(13:46) Well, that's my point. (13:47) Oh yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(13:47) That's my point. (13:48) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:48) For sure. (13:50) Definitely. (13:51) Yeah.(13:52) Somebody asked me the other day, they, I'm going to New Jersey to help a client set up their podcast studio. (13:59) And somebody asked, they said, is that like, is it calculated? (14:03) Are you just going?(14:04) And I said, no, there's like 10, no, there's like 10 layers under why I'm, I'm doing it. (14:08) Yeah. (14:09) I don't, do I want to do it?(14:12) Not really. (14:14) No, I don't want to drive. (14:16) Driving down to New Jersey.(14:17) Yeah, I got it. (14:18) I haven't driven a drive five hours and they're, they're paying me and they're putting me up in a hotel. (14:22) Like that's all awesome.(14:23) And I'm, I'm super grateful. (14:24) And I love these clients. (14:25) They're amazing.(14:26) They're just amazing. (14:27) Super next level. (14:29) But I'm the one who brought it up and there was a piece of me that's like, I shouldn't do this.(14:34) What am I doing? (14:35) This is, this is going to be, that week is going to suck, but I know I should, I know I should do it because it'll be worth it. (14:42) A hundred percent that one of them is for reaching your full potential.(14:46) I was on with a relationship talks, coaching client earlier, shout out to you. (14:49) I'll keep it anonymous. (14:50) And he, he actually just broke up with his girlfriend and it was amicable and it was, it was a decision.(14:56) Maybe it's a break, maybe it's forever. (14:57) I don't know. (14:58) But I did say it comes down to this simple question.(15:03) Does this person help me reach my full potential of who I really am? (15:09) Not fake version, not mask version, not pretend version. (15:12) Like does this person amplify who I really am or does this person unintentionally suppress who I really am?(15:24) Amelia the other night she said, Alan, I need to talk to the engineer. (15:28) I know you give all these high level summaries to everyone else cause they don't like numbers. (15:31) Like cut that shit out with me.(15:32) I want all the data and all the numbers and our communication style has gotten unbelievable because she just says, I need the engineer. (15:41) And it's like, Oh, and I give her all the numbers. (15:45) I said, sweetheart, you got to understand if I did that on a podcast, I'd have no listeners.(15:50) No one gives a shit right now. (15:53) Here's the truth. (15:55) Business growth university.(15:56) I just did an episode that was extremely engineer. (16:00) It's who I am. (16:01) It's who I am.(16:02) Warrior and engineer. (16:03) I'm fluffy. (16:04) Feel good.(16:04) Third, not first, but a lot of people back to you, back to the listener. (16:10) What you want to do is fun and enjoyable and pleasurable. (16:17) And okay, I'm buying a new computer.(16:22) I wanted the $2,500 desktop, the gaming PC world. (16:27) Like amazing. (16:28) That is not what's optimal.(16:30) It's not what's optimal. (16:31) I could afford it. (16:32) I could easily fucking afford it.(16:34) I shouldn't. (16:36) So I got a refurbished fucking, the one I wanted was not there. (16:42) Cause it was, you know, you know how they say only 12 hours.(16:45) It actually was. (16:48) I should've got it, man. (16:49) This one's better, but it's more, it's more.(16:52) It's almost 800 bucks. (16:53) Shout out to Newegg for being real. (16:55) Newegg.com.(16:56) The truth is, thank you for being honest. (16:59) I actually was pumped. (17:00) I was upset that it was gone, but I was pumped that they weren't lying.(17:03) You know, could not find it. (17:05) It's too bad. (17:06) The point is, is what I really want is not what's optimal.(17:09) You, you, what you want is like a child. (17:13) We all have a child inside of us. (17:14) Little Alan built his first computer when he was 12.(17:17) I used to get PC gamer magazine. (17:19) I wanted to, I wanted to get a, you know, no, that ain't how you play as a business owner, trying to reach your full potential. (17:26) That would be bad for the business.(17:28) And quite frankly, and I'm going to call everyone out right now, including myself, you have to stop being so fucking immature. (17:35) Like immaturity is you, you enjoy every whim. (17:38) Real talk.(17:39) I ate fruity pebbles this morning. (17:42) I love fruity pebbles. (17:43) I carved up right before the gym.(17:45) I had the best freaking workout. (17:47) Oh my goodness. (17:49) Pre-workout fruity pebbles with protein milk.(17:52) Unbelievable. (17:53) If I had fruity pebbles for every meal, I would be a child. (17:57) I'd be a man child.(17:58) The truth is we all have a little Alan and a little Kevin inside of us that we have to re-parent, but hopefully the highest self, you have an animal self, you have a child self and you have a highest self. (18:12) And the highest self is the one that you don't want to do it, but you know you should. (18:17) And that's the whisper that becomes a scream if you neglect it long enough.(18:21) Yeah. (18:21) I don't think a lot of us actually want to do what we're meant to do. (18:24) I think that's what it is.(18:25) Like, you don't call it the resistance. (18:27) What is that really what it is? (18:29) There's a, there's a, there's a book called the, um, you know, there's the art of war and the war of art.(18:37) And in the war of art, it's a book where he talks about the resistance. (18:41) You're actually, your deepest fear is actually owning all of who you are, which forces you to embark on a journey that's scary and you don't come back the same. (18:50) You come back learning everything you don't want to learn about yourself and learning everything about the world that you don't want to learn, like personal growth and, and, and this embarking on a journey of dreams that aren't ego based.(19:01) You learn a lot. (19:02) That's very depressing. (19:03) Well, that's what this person said.(19:04) They said, I know how hard it's going to be. (19:06) Yeah. (19:07) That's the reason I don't want to do it.(19:08) It's like, yeah, I don't, I don't, I same. (19:14) Right. (19:14) But like, I could never go back now.(19:18) You are, I think the epitome of this, because you're very honest with yourself of like what you wanted to do was easy. (19:25) You like, I, I, I don't really care about easy. (19:29) I'm not interested to a, to a fault at times for you.(19:33) You like, like easy. (19:35) It's obvious when we travel, you like love easy. (19:37) Easy is great for you.(19:39) I like to, I'm, I, people are mind blown. (19:42) Like I'm, no, I don't think about maximizing my potential. (19:44) I think about getting what needs to get done, done and then I try to do the same thing the next day.(19:48) How do you keep doing something that you know you should do, but you don't want to? (19:53) It's I think eventually you get to the point where you start to see the proof. (19:56) It's like all the shit that I didn't want to do that I did is paid off so much.(19:59) Nice. (19:59) Give us examples. (20:01) Uh, this podcast, 2,231 times, 2,230 times.(20:05) Now 75% of these episodes probably though. (20:08) In those days I had to drag you to some of that shit for sure. (20:11) I don't want to drag you anymore.(20:12) Now your game.

Alan Lazaros

(20:13) It's awesome.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:13) Well, I'm bought in, right? (20:15) I, there was enough. (20:17) Only took me eight years to sell you.(20:19) Well, that's, that's the weird thing is like now, you know, there, there are so many more benefits. (20:28) I mean, obviously it's still hard and it's overwhelming and I'm maybe the most stressed that I've ever been, but like I could pay my fucking bills, which five years ago was not, wasn't really the case. (20:38) Okay.(20:38) When, when you couldn't, how did you, how did you convince yourself to stay, to stay on it? (20:44) Because I realize, I told you the story about the comedian Ron White. (20:53) He said, he said his dad used to say that boy's got a lot of quit in him.(21:03) I have analyzed upside down and sideways, all my clients, you, me, different super achiever, like whatever, anyone who's achieved their dreams. (21:13) I'm talking your dream. (21:15) I don't care if your dream is small or big.(21:18) Chasing dreams is hard for sure because whatever the dream is, I think is your soul, your, your, your highest self calling you to face your fears. (21:30) I really do believe that. (21:31) I don't think there's anyone who's ever achieved their dreams unless it was vanity ego dreams where they didn't have to face something inside that they didn't want to face their past, their present, their partner, their whatever.(21:42) I mean, I've had to leave friends behind that I didn't want to like, you just have to face so much. (21:46) So I don't know if I'm going to give good advice when it comes to this. (21:52) So I want to ask you, we made only $13,000 in the first two years in business.(21:57) That is like bad. (21:58) It's really bad between the two of us in Massachusetts. (22:02) The cost of living is way higher than that.(22:04) So we had to survive, but now we're doing much better projected for over 900 grand in the last two years. (22:15) Awesome. (22:16) How the hell, of course it's going to feel easy in comparison now.(22:20) It doesn't feel easy in comparison. (22:22) It feels different. (22:23) It's not easier.(22:24) How'd you get through the early years when you didn't know we would eventually be here? (22:28) Like I, did you know we cross a million dollars? (22:30) Cause I did.(22:31) No, I, I just believed it would be worth it. (22:34) That's, I don't, if you didn't know we were going to make a million dollars, cause it wasn't about a million dollars. (22:39) It was if I could just get to the place where I could like pay my bills consistently, that would be way better than, I'd rather just have enough to pay the bills and do this than do something else and have way more for sure that.(22:54) So it was, it was more like, I literally, I said this on an interview last night in the beginning, it was, I have to find a way to make enough money to get to the end of the day. (23:04) Let's make enough money to get to the end of the day and then get to the end of the week and then get to the end of the month and then get to the end of the year. (23:09) That one was hard.(23:10) And then as things, how much can we earn this quarter? (23:14) Yeah. (23:15) Can we hit our goal this year?(23:18) Yeah. (23:19) Yeah. (23:19) It's, it's different.(23:20) It's, it's just a different, it's just a different, it's just a different part. (23:27) But I always say to someone who didn't have a business partner that was certain though. (23:30) Cause if, if, if I, I got offered, uh, jobs that were way more than I was making while making nothing, I turned them down and people thought I was dumb, including you.(23:43) But I knew it was smart because I knew longterm like this would work. (23:49) I don't know. (23:49) I knew we'd make it work.(23:51) I don't know if I have advice for that because that wasn't my experience. (23:55) I don't know. (23:55) Be careful.(23:56) Someone stick with it with no, with no certainty. (23:59) You know, I don't know. (24:00) I don't even know if that's, I don't know if it's answerable because it honestly, some of you shouldn't.(24:05) That's the truth that nobody else will say. (24:06) It's like, well, we're a motivational podcast. (24:08) Like we have to motivate everybody.(24:09) No, I, some people you should, you shouldn't chase the dream that you're chasing cause it is probably not right for you. (24:16) And then some of you, you just need to get your shit together. (24:19) Or if you need to find a coach or find a mentor or whatever.(24:22) Or I said this today, I recorded an episode for podcast growth university and I said, when you start, when you start treating, so a lot of people are like, yeah, this is the most important thing to me. (24:33) Like this is my 10 out of 10 dream. (24:35) Why are you putting in two out of 10 effort?(24:38) The fuck you think is going to happen? (24:39) Oh, it's, it's 10 out of 10, but, but something comes up on a whim and you're like, oh yeah, nope. (24:46) I got it.(24:46) I'm going to go do this. (24:47) I got to go do this. (24:48) I'm going to miss an episode this week.(24:49) I love when you talk about shit like this. (24:51) That for me is there's a lot, I think there's a lot of people out there. (24:56) I know we're going to shift soon, but tell me how you really feel about that.(25:00) Seriously. (25:00) I love it. (25:01) That, that I feel like I've been so afraid to be toxic.(25:03) It's hilarious.

Alan Lazaros

(25:04) I don't want to be, I am.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:04) I don't want to either. (25:05) We're not, we're not. (25:06) But tell me how you really feel about someone who does that.(25:09) I feel like you, you are wasting your time and doing yourself a giant disservice because you're not going to be successful. (25:17) You're not, you're competing against people. (25:20) And again, if it's podcasts, you're competing against people like us who haven't missed an episode in four years, every day, every fucking day.(25:28) Why? (25:29) Because outside of my wife, this is the most important thing. (25:33) And honestly, this comes before her most of the time.(25:36) Not, not if there was an emergency, obviously. (25:38) Right. (25:38) But same.(25:39) I mean, I, success podcasts. (25:44) That's it. (25:45) That's it.(25:45) If it's not the most important thing, you're being arrogant. (25:49) Like I think it's arrogant to wing it and think it's going to work.

Alan Lazaros

(25:51) I do.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:52) I might've known it was going to work, but I wasn't like fishing on the weekends for fun. (25:56) Right. (25:57) Right.(25:57) Right. (25:57) You know, and, and you've been very honest. (25:59) Like it was, it's different than you thought.(26:01) It's not. (26:02) Oh, it's different than I thought. (26:03) For sure.

Alan Lazaros

(26:03) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:03) But not even that. (26:04) Yeah. (26:05) Yeah.(26:05) But I never was like, Oh, this is going to fucking just work. (26:08) There was none of that. (26:10) I want your take on that.(26:12) And this is a selfish question for a second. (26:14) Like, did I ever complain or bitch about hard work or anything? (26:17) No, no, no, no.(26:18) Never.

Alan Lazaros

(26:18) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:19) I just, to the point where it's like, Oh, this is so hard. (26:21) Of course it is. (26:22) You're doing something that's never been done.(26:24) Like what? (26:25) Well, it's to the point where sometimes it's hard. (26:27) Cause it's like, I told Alan when we, when he first logged in, I was like, Hey, just FYI, if I'm short today or I'm foggy, it's because I'm running on like five hours of sleep.(26:37) I woke up at 4am. (26:37) I couldn't fall back asleep. (26:38) I've been, I've been at it since four.(26:41) I'm not going to get any sympathy from Alan. (26:43) It's very, so no, no, it's okay. (26:46) Did I not give you any?(26:48) No, no. (26:49) You were like, Oh, that sucks. (26:50) But it was, it was fine.(26:50) It's not, I'm not saying I'm not asking for sympathy, but I think the understanding is when you are working with somebody who has insane self-belief and, and believes it's going to work out eventually. (26:59) And this might be the most important thing has a very accurate understanding of what it's going to take. (27:05) There is very little sympathy.(27:06) It's like, uh, someone else say, uh, take it easy. (27:11) Something probably like take it easy. (27:13) Oh, I'm sorry.(27:14) I'm coming off like an asshole. (27:16) No, that ain't it. (27:17) That's not, I mean, but you signed on the dotted line, baby.(27:20) That, that's it. (27:20) That's it. (27:21) That's just the biggest difference.(27:22) I'm sorry. (27:23) I mean, I am and I'm not pros and cons. (27:26) If you were, you've come to me at the time, at times where it's like, dude, I'm, I need, I need, and it's like, okay, what do we do?

Alan Lazaros

(27:32) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:33) Yeah. (27:33) This was, you were being playful. (27:35) You're all right.(27:36) Right. (27:36) You know what I, you know what I learned yesterday though? (27:38) Cause I know you had, you could share it to whatever degree.(27:41) And we will pop off here in a minute. (27:42) I know you had a very humbling day yesterday and he doesn't remember. (27:48) And what happened yesterday?(27:49) I gotta look at the calendar. (27:51) I do.

Alan Lazaros

(27:51) I literally have a book pulled up.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:53) I believe it was about 12 o'clock noon, I believe, uh, or one o'clock, 1 PM. (27:59) Yeah, for sure. (28:00) Yeah.(28:00) I notice that you, when you have moments where you get really humbled, I feel super seen cause it's like, I've been saying this for a couple of months and now you're, you feel it a little bit and now you're like, yeah, man, everything's going to change. (28:15) It's like, fuck, I've been saying that for the last several months, several months, but you didn't feel it yet. (28:21) Now you do.

Alan Lazaros

(28:22) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:23) You immediately has a very high pain threshold, pain tolerance. (28:26) And we, when you are, and this is another episode, obviously I'll go quick with it. (28:31) But when you work with people who have a very high pain tolerance, there's very little that they're going to notice.(28:37) Like, yeah, even that right there. (28:39) Like yesterday was a really humbling day. (28:41) It's like, yeah, I think.(28:45) But every day is kind of, I mean every day I did 10 yesterday. (28:51) These are not simple things. (28:52) Like I'm grateful because of the growth.(28:57) It's, it's really important. (28:58) But every now and then I do take a step back and realize how insane what we're doing. (29:04) Well, I saw a shift yesterday.(29:06) Yesterday I saw a shift in you. (29:07) You did? (29:08) After that conversation.(29:08) Yeah, for sure. (29:09) I was like, I always get my ass kicked every now and then. (29:11) And then I, I go back to the drawing board and I feel like I'm back today, but not, I need to make some changes.(29:17) I was actually more on time for us because that was one of the shifts we made. (29:21) I, I need to optimize my time better. (29:25) Forever.(29:26) All right. (29:26) What's your takeaway before we get out of here? (29:28) The things that you should do.(29:30) Listen to your highest self. (29:32) Your animal self wants to do unsavory things at times. (29:36) Don't listen.(29:36) We're all animals. (29:37) We all evolved from, from animals. (29:41) Your childhood self is immature.(29:44) It just is. (29:45) It wants to eat cereal and watch fucking friends. (29:48) Of course it does.(29:49) And that's okay. (29:51) You've got to do that every now and then, but you can't design a career on that. (29:57) Your highest self wants you to reach your potential, whatever that unique potential is.(30:02) It wants you to climb. (30:03) It wants you to try. (30:05) It wants you to expand.(30:08) And there isn't really growth without pain and challenge. (30:13) You don't have to, it doesn't have to be pure suffering, but you're not going to climb meaningful mountains without pain. (30:20) My takeaway would be, if you could ask yourself why, like, why do you feel like you should do it?(30:26) Why do you feel like, yeah, you should do it even though you quote unquote, don't want to, I don't, and this doesn't exist in the real world, but if you could sit down and say, well, if I was guaranteed to make it, I would definitely do this. (30:39) Then I would give it a shot. (30:41) Well, I would give it a shot because that means that that's a look.(30:45) If I was guaranteed to be a successful podcaster, all in chips to the center of the table, fuck yeah. (30:51) What do I have to trade? (30:52) I'm in.(30:52) That was not the case, but yeah. (30:56) This is going to be only funny. (30:58) Okay.(30:58) Okay. (30:59) And for anyone with kids in the room, I am going to say one swear. (31:01) All right.(31:02) First of all, you said like 15 so far. (31:04) So at this point, that's not fair. (31:05) I think it was like five.(31:06) Between the two of us, I think we're probably a lot double, double digits. (31:10) Tommy boy, Tommy boy. (31:12) Yeah.(31:13) You said if you could, if you could go into your future and be guaranteed in Tommy boy to say, I could take a dump in a box, slap a guarantee on it. (31:22) It's a guarantee piece of shit. (31:23) That's all I could think of when you were talking.(31:26) I'm sorry. (31:27) Listen, I am a professional, but I also, I love that stuff. (31:31) That's so funny.(31:32) I think that's a good test. (31:34) I think that's a good test. (31:35) If you're, if you guaranteed could do it and if the doubt is the only thing you might regret not trying, do you ever, do you ever have times when I'm saying something really serious on the show and you think of something funny all the time and you can't all the time.(31:49) Yeah. (31:49) Do you ever lock it up and not say it? (31:51) Ah, less than you.(31:53) Probably less than you. (31:55) Yeah. (31:55) Yeah.(31:57) Sometimes it's like, it's like a super bad reference. (32:00) So it's like, I can't, that's too much. (32:02) I can't, you know, I can't try to keep it, you know, relatively clean around here.(32:08) Yeah. (32:08) We got to keep it high vibe for the most part. (32:11) It's hard when you're, when your state, my state is so low right now.(32:14) Yeah. (32:15) So hard. (32:15) Like I, I do.(32:16) I just want to watch super bad. (32:18) I do. (32:19) I just want to eat, eat pizza.(32:21) Friends was never it for me. (32:23) I don't, I don't understand it. (32:25) I don't get it.(32:26) I don't get the allure. (32:27) Kev, you've never had a ton of friends. (32:29) So let's friends is someone with a friend centered paradigm.(32:32) Yeah. (32:32) It's fucking nightmare. (32:33) I friends is built.(32:34) We're going to analyze the goddamn show right now. (32:36) Real quick. (32:37) All right.(32:38) Friends. (32:38) I have friends is built on a friend centered paradigm. (32:41) Anyone who feels like their friends are their second family.(32:44) They love that show. (32:45) That's what the show is built on. (32:47) It's built on the idea of your chosen family because when you basically graduate college and you're kind of in your twenties, you feel like a loser.(32:53) You feel like you don't have a thing figured out. (32:55) You, you, your second family becomes your friends. (32:57) And I definitely had that in my twenties.(32:59) I didn't feel like a loser, but I definitely, that was sort of my chosen family for sure. (33:05) I felt like a loser without college. (33:07) So just imagine that.(33:08) And without friends.

Alan Lazaros

(33:09) No, I'm kidding.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:10) I'm kidding. (33:11) You always kept your circle small. (33:13) Friends is for people that I was ahead of the curve as their main, I was ahead of the curve.(33:18) I remember I told that one, I said, Hey brother, you were ahead of the curve, man. (33:21) You were absolutely right, brother.

Alan Lazaros

(33:23) I know.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:23) I know you think these folks are all going to come along. (33:26) I thought everybody was going to achieve their goals and dreams, baby. (33:29) For anyone else out there who feels like, damn, I thought, I thought we were all going to achieve our dreams together.(33:37) I feel you. (33:38) I feel you. (33:38) I thought we were all going to achieve our dreams together.(33:41) Well, if you're out there and you want to achieve your dreams with us and with the other amazing members of the NLU family, we have book club every single Saturday, 1230 Eastern time. (33:50) We have a Facebook group. (33:51) We have the dream liner.(33:53) We have the website. (33:55) We have a bunch of stuff. (33:56) So they're reading rationality by who is it?(33:58) Steven Pinker, Steven Pinker, Steven Pinker in book club. (34:01) You don't have, you do not have to have read the book. (34:04) You don't have to participate.(34:05) It is kind of just a big conversation about the book. (34:08) So yeah. (34:09) If you're a podcaster, go check out podcast growth university with the one and only Kevin Palmieri.(34:15) Right.

Alan Lazaros

(34:15) Nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(34:15) 175 episodes in a row without missing. (34:18) And honestly, to me, that's light work. (34:20) That's light work.(34:22) Light work. (34:24) Great work. (34:25) Strong work.(34:26) That was a dig at me. (34:27) Probably. (34:28) I have missed an episode of BGU, but I'm catching up.(34:30) How dare you? (34:31) Now, I'm going to, I'm going to get ahead of you. (34:33) I'm going to be like next week, it's going to be 180.(34:35) You're ahead with conscious, conscious couples is ahead. (34:37) We have not missed a week of conscious couples. (34:39) That's a fact.(34:40) So business growth university, this is a podcast by a business owner for business owners. (34:48) Okay. (34:48) And although I have missed a week bi-weekly, every other week, every seven to nine days.(34:58) No real, real talk. (35:00) I am going to catch up, but it's for business owners by a business owner. (35:06) You are not going to like this if you are not trying to start a business.(35:09) And if you are trying to start a business, it's very candid. (35:12) So some people want to level up themselves. (35:15) Some people want to level up their podcast.(35:16) Some people want to level up their business. (35:18) We got one for each of you or all three. (35:20) I have some clients who listened to all three as well as conscious couples.(35:23) So pretty cool. (35:24) Right on. (35:25) All right.(35:25) As always, we love you. (35:26) We appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you. (35:28) And if you are as committed, we talked about commitment.(35:30) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because you know, we will be here every single day to help you get there. (35:38) Keep reaching for your full potential. (35:40) Next level nation.(35:42) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (35:45) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (35:48) We mean it when we say family, if you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.(35:54) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (35:57) Thank you again. (35:58) And we will talk to you tomorrow.