Rate Yourself On This… (2232)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros break down FERPA and how it silently sabotages success. They reveal why playing it safe keeps you stuck, how to build the courage muscle, and what the most successful people do differently when everything’s on the line. This one will shake the way you see fear, failure, and what it really takes to win. If you’ve been waiting for a sign to bet on yourself, this is it.

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Show notes:
(3:09) The meaning behind FERPA
(6:11) How fear and pain limit success
(10:00) The power of smart, not reckless, risk
(13:25) Betting on the underdog
(15:16) The traits that predict real success
(17:35) Why risk tolerance fuels growth
(19:14) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 3:09 The meaning behind FERPA
• 6:11 How fear and pain limit success
• 10:00 The power of smart, not reckless, risk
• 13:25 Betting on the underdog
• 15:16 The traits that predict real success
• 17:35 Why risk tolerance fuels growth
• 19:14 Outro

Transcript

Alan Lazaros

(0:00) We were having a conversation right before we recorded this episode and we were talking about how one of the mistakes people make when it comes to becoming more successful is they get stuck where they are because they are afraid to risk what they have to get what they desire. (0:14) Emilia went to our whiteboard one day and she wrote FERPA. (0:17) F-U-R-P-A.(0:18) We are going to talk about that today. (0:21) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:23) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.(0:25) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:28) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. (0:35) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.(0:41) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (0:57) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:04) Welcome to Next Level University.(1:09) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,232. (1:13) Rate yourself on this. (1:17) I was reading a book recently and it was essentially talking about...(1:21) what is it? (1:22) You've become a sophisticated individual. (1:24) I am quite.(1:25) You're an avid reader. (1:26) I am an avid reader. (1:27) And an avid fisherman.(1:28) Less so now, but I'd say an avid golfer. (1:31) Replace fisherman with golf. (1:35) I was reading a book with my ears, as one does, and they said something along the lines of, when people go all in on something, it's actually not as risky as you think.(1:50) It, uh, that was a piece of it. (1:52) It was, the most successful people in the world aren't actually taking as big of a risk as you think. (1:58) And I was like, that's dumb.(1:59) There's no way that's true. (2:00) That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. (2:03) Because what you're not thinking is, some of the most successful people in the world are also some of the most competent through practice people.(2:14) That's one. (2:15) They all have massive self-belief. (2:17) That's two.(2:17) And they just don't ever stop. (2:19) So yeah, they're going to be successful eventually, but that's not the majority of, that's like me saying, yeah, when I get under the squat rack and throw 300 pounds on there, it's never a risk. (2:30) It's like, well, for me, it's not.(2:31) But if you're just trying it for the first time, you're going to probably break yourself in half. (2:34) That's terrible advice. (2:35) Point being, I think that understanding your level of risk tolerance is key for success.(2:44) Well, the problem with this is it can change. (2:47) It does change. (2:48) It does change.(2:48) For sure. (2:50) Kev was reckless, but also risk averse. (2:53) Weird.(2:53) You're a weird bird, man. (2:55) Maybe. (2:56) Doesn't, it's not of use.(2:59) What is not of use? (3:01) Trying to explain success principles. (3:02) You as an example is not of as much optimal use as I would like.(3:08) Okay. (3:09) FERPA. (3:10) Fear, uncertainty, risk, and pain avoidance.(3:15) Emilia came up with this and we have our own little language about things that like this, for example, what's their FERPA score? (3:27) So for example, another, another tiny side tangent. (3:31) If I asked Kevin his REAP score, that would be how many hours of REM and deep sleep did you get last night?

Kevin Palmieri

(3:37) Good answer.

Alan Lazaros

(3:38) I'm jealous. (3:40) I'm jealous that I am not optimizing sleep like you. (3:43) I can't imagine a world where I ever do.(3:48) You are the captain of your own ship. (3:50) I can't imagine. (3:53) I can't even fathom it.(3:55) It seems impossible. (3:57) Yeah, it is. (3:58) It makes everything harder.(4:00) I don't, I like getting up early. (4:02) I do. (4:02) Like I, and it's like, am I just telling myself a story that I actually like getting up early?(4:07) I just like, whenever you say things like this, though, three or four years later, you're always like, oh, fuck it. (4:11) I did it. (4:12) There's always resistance.(4:14) There's resistance. (4:14) It's not even resistance. (4:15) It's hopeless.(4:16) It feels hopeless. (4:17) I'd love to do it. (4:18) It is unbelievably difficult.(4:20) Genuinely. (4:21) It, it, Emilia and I will be on the way to the gym and we want to get an hour in and we only can get 45 minutes in and we'll have that. (4:31) We'll have that moment in the, in the car before we get in just like, fuck.(4:36) And I said, sweetheart, that's what it takes. (4:39) We both got great sleep. (4:41) Like it costs so much time to get great sleep.(4:45) So your REAP score is the amount of REM and deep sleep. (4:49) For me, it was 2.5 hours last night, which is not good. (4:52) I'm trying to get above three.(4:53) She is unbelievable. (4:55) She, she gets four plus. (4:56) So what is it?(4:58) REM and deep? (4:59) REM and deep. (5:00) I'm at three hours and seven minutes.(5:02) Nice. (5:03) Last night was three hours.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:04) That's good.

Alan Lazaros

(5:04) If you're above three, that's very strong. (5:06) Four is insane. (5:07) World class.(5:09) Three above three is really good. (5:10) Anything lower than two, you're in some trouble for sure. (5:13) I got to go to bed by nine.(5:14) If I go to bed by nine 30. (5:17) Once a bit like sleepy time team, man. (5:19) No, you did a dandelion tea.(5:24) Dandelion root. (5:25) Yeah. (5:26) That, that tons of benefits.(5:28) Nope. (5:29) That ain't it for me. (5:30) Okay.(5:31) Well, anyways, four is unbelievable. (5:33) If you have an aura ring or whatever you track your sleep on REM and deep sleep is REAP, your REAP score. (5:39) But that's not what this episode's about.(5:40) This episode is about FERPA. (5:42) Of course. (5:43) Of course.(5:43) Okay. (5:44) And by the way, the better you get sleep, the more risk you can tolerate. (5:48) I always say whenever I don't get good sleep, it feels like the sky is falling.(5:53) Okay. (5:56) Fear, uncertainty, risk, and pain avoidance. (5:59) My thesis and the reason we're doing this episode is because I believe that the higher your FERPA score is, the less likely you will be successful long-term.(6:11) That is my thesis. (6:12) That is my hypothesis. (6:13) Now, as a scientist and a researcher, that's what I want this to come from.(6:19) I don't want anyone to be personally attacked. (6:22) I don't want you to feel personally attacked. (6:23) This is a bird's eye view of statistics and success of if you have a thousand random people, the people with the highest FERPA score are the least likely to be successful.(6:34) So Warren Buffett has a quote. (6:36) He says back in high school, I want you to look around the classroom. (6:39) And I want you to think if I could have 10% of the success of any one of these individuals for the rest of my life, who would I pick?(6:48) And then he proceeds to say, if the answer's not you, what in the actual fuck? (6:52) He didn't say that. (6:53) That's my part, obviously.(6:55) The truth is I used to, and again, I would hear these quotes and I would think, and I'd go me. (7:02) I would bet on me, for sure. (7:04) I was in a class with Julianne Reardon.(7:05) She's our valedictorian. (7:07) And I remember thinking me. (7:09) I would have picked her.(7:12) For sure. (7:12) Everyone else would have too.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:13) Yeah. (7:14) No, no.

Alan Lazaros

(7:14) I'm not saying I'm just, if she was in my class, I would have picked her every time.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:18) I would never have picked me.

Alan Lazaros

(7:20) Um, I don't know. (7:23) I'll give you five, five guesses.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:25) Pick anything.

Alan Lazaros

(7:26) Is it because of her FERPA score? (7:27) It's because she was very intelligent and I was not. (7:30) Yeah, she killed it.(7:31) The higher the numbers, the better. (7:32) How do we, what is it? (7:33) A scale of zero to 10?(7:34) Higher the worse. (7:35) So higher FERPA score means you have a ton of fear, a ton of uncertainty, a ton of risk, and a ton of pain avoidance. (7:42) Pain avoidance means you basically won't do hard things.(7:46) Fear means you are constantly riddled with fear. (7:49) You're, you're playing not to lose instead of playing to win. (7:51) Uncertainty means you can't, we were watching Iron Man three.(7:54) I told you about this yesterday and he had, he has panic attacks in that movie. (7:58) Like anxiety attacks is what he calls it. (8:00) And I turned to Amelia and she's, she said, so my dog kept barking during one of the scenes.(8:06) I kept re going back and she said, can you please stop going back to the fucking anxiety attack part? (8:13) And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. (8:14) And she said, yeah, no, I used to have anxiety attacks way back.(8:18) Not a ton, but a little. (8:20) And, and again, I don't know. (8:21) I've never, I've never had one.(8:22) And I said, I turned to her, I said, I don't think I've ever had an anxiety attack. (8:26) She said, you definitely haven't. (8:27) Yeah.(8:28) I've said that many times. (8:29) How do you know? (8:30) That's what I said to her.(8:31) I said, how do you know? (8:31) You can just, the game recognizes game and game recognizes lack of game. (8:36) It's so it's, it's like, and again, you know how, cause you would never, and I'm not saying you do this consciously, intentionally, toxically, you would never minimize it.(8:48) If you, if you've experienced it, you'd get it. (8:52) Unintentionally. (8:53) I think a lot of people minimize something that it's hard to empathize.(8:56) It's hard to sympathize with something you'd ever had. (8:58) Right. (8:58) That's like, yeah, it's a thing that I said to her is I, is this like when I see someone who had like a really good childhood and it's so obvious to me.(9:07) And she said, yes, it's so obvious when someone had a wonderful childhood, it's like, oh, you have no idea. (9:14) Um, and I also can tell immediately if you had an alcoholic parent, I can, I can see it all over you. (9:20) But anyways, FERPA, fear, uncertainty, risk, and pain avoidance.(9:26) You and I have high, uh, low FERPA scores. (9:32) You were reckless, luckily. (9:34) And if you weren't, there's no way this would work.(9:36) Dude, straight up. (9:37) You were reckless. (9:37) It wasn't the most constructive.(9:39) I think we're missing a piece because. (9:42) How reckless were you? (9:43) Very reckless.(9:44) Some of the most reckless people in our high school are not successful. (9:48) Most of the most reckless people with the highest risk tolerances in our high school are not successful. (9:53) I know.(9:54) That's why it has to be intelligent. (9:56) Risk. (9:56) That's gotta be a, it's gotta be a FERPAI or something.(10:00) FERPAI. (10:01) Yeah. (10:02) So it's fear, uncertainty, risk, risk, pain, avoidance, and intelligence.(10:07) Yeah. (10:07) FERPAIQ. (10:08) Or strategy or whatever.(10:10) Yeah. (10:11) I think there's gotta be, there's gotta be in this. (10:14) Uh, who would you bet on?(10:17) You're in a class, there's a hundred people. (10:19) Who, who were you betting on? (10:21) It wouldn't be Julian Reardon anymore, would it?(10:22) And again, she's very successful. (10:24) Julian, if you ever were to see this, you're, you're amazing. (10:26) This is nothing against you.(10:28) It's just, everyone just goes to the valedictorian, but that ain't it. (10:31) I didn't even know what the valedictorian was. (10:33) I would love to see the stats on this.(10:34) The valedictorian, I used to say the world doesn't run on 4.0, it runs on 3.5. I didn't get, I don't, I don't know what my GPA was. (10:44) I couldn't give a fuck less. (10:45) I don't know what spot I graduated from.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:46) The world doesn't run on that.

Alan Lazaros

(10:48) The entrepreneurial, 100% the entrepreneurial world does. (10:52) No, a lot of entrepreneurs know their GPA. (10:55) Well, they aren't like me.(10:57) Exactly. (10:57) Yeah. (10:58) You're an anomaly.(10:58) Come at me, bro. (10:59) I would probably still bet on the person who is the smartest. (11:04) In my opinion.(11:05) Yeah, because I, how many smart people do you know that are lazy as shit? (11:09) And Julian, you are not lazy. (11:10) That is not what I'm saying.(11:11) A lot of people. (11:12) Yeah. (11:13) A lot of people.(11:13) To me, no, that ain't it. (11:16) Well, okay. (11:16) Who would you?(11:17) It can't be you. (11:22) It's gotta be like the number three person with the chip on the shoulder. (11:27) You gotta bet on the chip.(11:28) Got to. (11:29) It's like a Julian Edelman. (11:30) You know, I know no one knows that he was on the Patriots.(11:33) I'm reading a book by Bill Belichick. (11:35) He was the head coach of the Patriots. (11:36) The Patriots were the best team in the NFL for like 20 years straight.(11:39) Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, Julian Edelman, whatever. (11:41) It's a global podcast. (11:42) I know my bad.(11:43) I just, I love this book. (11:44) Good example. (11:45) Julian Edelman was small, but he was unbelievably disciplined.(11:52) And I, I'm so, I love the book. (11:53) Cause you get to hear the behind the scenes stories. (11:55) You don't that you don't get to hear normally.(11:58) It's one of the reasons I love books. (12:01) And Bill is talking about Julian and how much of an anomaly he was. (12:05) He was the underdog and the underdog doesn't take it for granted.(12:09) And I guess he would in the middle of the night, go and like throw a tennis ball against the wall and make sure he could catch it every time and make it harder and harder and harder so that he had the best hands. (12:20) And he was a wide receiver, but I love that shit, man. (12:25) You can't bet on the person who it's the, it's not the dog in the fight.(12:31) It's the fight and the dog. (12:31) It's that, but it is the dog in the fight. (12:33) It's that it's both.(12:34) You need both. (12:35) And you can't have a ton of risk avoidance and pain avoidance. (12:38) Like Julian Edelman, literally, I saw the dude get a concussion in the Superbowl and then go into the next play.(12:45) Like you could barely walk. (12:47) And I just, there's something in that it's reckless. (12:49) Yes.(12:49) I'm not saying that's a good idea, but that is a testament to why he's successful. (12:54) Like he'll die for it. (12:56) And I don't know how to teach that.(12:58) You don't teach that. (12:59) That's, I don't think that's there. (13:01) I'm telling you there, there is some level of, I've always said this.(13:06) I've always respected somebody that is like has self-destructive behavior. (13:10) I don't know why. (13:11) I just always have in a positive way.(13:13) I've always respected somebody that's like Sean Thornton's one of my favorite hockey players of all time. (13:19) He was not good at hockey. (13:21) He was really good at fighting and he always stood up for his teammates.(13:25) And he always did like charity stuff. (13:26) It was like, you're a bad-ass on the ice, but off the ice, you seem like a really good human. (13:31) And I like you.(13:32) I respect that. (13:34) Authority. (13:35) Yeah.(13:36) Big fan. (13:37) I don't know. (13:39) How's his brain doing now though?(13:40) Not, not great. (13:41) Probably. (13:42) Unfortunately, I played a long game too.(13:43) See, this is why this is a good conversation.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:44) I know. (13:45) I know.

Alan Lazaros

(13:45) If you and I could pick a hundred people out of a room and you and I like actually interviewed them all who, and, and we were just talking about external success. (13:54) We're not talking about character or anything like that. (13:56) What would you look for?(13:58) What are the top three things? (13:59) We're going to talk about one of them tomorrow. (14:01) I would look for the purpose underneath why they're doing what they're doing.(14:05) Yeah. (14:05) Like, what are you doing this for? (14:06) You want to be rich?(14:08) I'm not betting on you. (14:09) Yeah. (14:10) If you're doing this for money, if you're doing anything just for money, I'm probably not going to bet on you.(14:14) Agreed. (14:14) And because I don't, I wouldn't want to work with you anyway. (14:16) That's one.(14:17) One would be that. (14:19) Two would probably be discipline. (14:23) Like how disciplined are you as a person?(14:25) So what's the why? (14:26) How disciplined are you? (14:29) Which goes hand in hand for sure.(14:31) Yeah, for sure. (14:32) Here's the thing though. (14:33) And this is why maybe I get a weird pass in this.(14:37) It's less risk when you're working with somebody who is telling you exactly what to do to succeed. (14:42) So I don't necessarily need somebody who is super, has a super high risk tolerance. (14:47) If I say, no, no, trust me, this is exactly what you need to do.(14:49) And it'll work. (14:50) Well, in this scenario, you don't get to talk to them or mentor them. (14:53) Oh, okay.(14:55) Okay. (14:55) If that's the case, I would just pick the hardest worker who has the most discipline and the most humility. (15:00) Well, that's where I was going.(15:02) No, you can't mentor or coach them. (15:04) You just get dividends of their success. (15:08) It's weird.(15:09) Do I have to give them money or anything or just, I just pick them? (15:11) Yeah. (15:12) Cool.(15:13) I like this game. (15:14) Yeah. (15:16) Discipline.(15:16) When you interview them, what questions would you ask? (15:20) I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:22) I've never interviewed almost anybody.

Alan Lazaros

(15:25) What do you mean? (15:25) You interviewed me two weeks ago. (15:27) Well, yeah, but that wasn't for like a job.(15:30) Oh, you meant for a job. (15:31) Yeah. (15:33) You know, I interviewed you because for business.(15:38) I don't know. (15:38) I, that's really, it's really interesting. (15:40) It definitely, I think, I think self-belief would be on there.(15:45) Yeah, it's gotta be. (15:46) So I don't even know. (15:48) The answers wouldn't be what you go off of.(15:51) You'd read between the lines.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:52) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(15:54) I do think, and I, sorry to interrupt you. (15:57) One of the cool things about what we do is this, we've just got so many hours of contemplating what actually makes people successful. (16:06) If I asked somebody on a scale of zero to 10, how confident are you?(16:08) And they were really a 10, would they say it? (16:10) You think? (16:12) Like, would you say it now?(16:15) Yeah, but that's Metacog. (16:16) I wouldn't have said it in the past. (16:19) Ah, maybe I would have.(16:21) You can't use me. (16:22) Bad idea. (16:23) One thing that I will say is I interviewed Lauren Johnson on Business Growth University.(16:28) That's gonna drop Monday, Friday or Monday. (16:33) So today or Monday. (16:34) I haven't, I gotta check on my team.(16:35) Today is technically Sunday. (16:38) So it's either. (16:38) So tomorrow, probably tomorrow.(16:39) Two days ago or tomorrow. (16:40) Check it out. (16:41) See if it's there.(16:43) She didn't understand that she's super confident. (16:48) And on that interview, that will be very obvious. (16:51) It's like, it's very clear to me.(16:53) And I mean, Lauren, if you were listening, I'm not trying to offend you. (16:56) I have studied people on both sides much more because I had you. (17:03) She worked with the New York Yankees and the lowest confident person on the New York Yankees is probably a 10 out of 10 confident.(17:15) But they would never say that they are because that devalues. (17:18) Well, you don't know how I got here. (17:19) You don't know where I started when people say like, well, you were just gifted.(17:23) Everything came naturally to you. (17:24) Yeah. (17:25) But that also devalues what I had to do to get here.(17:28) It's not like I was fucking, I wasn't born a golden goose. (17:31) Like you have, but the more I coach, the more I realize like, oh, you're playing with different stuff. (17:37) I remember I spoke at WPI and I remember thinking after I left, I remember thinking like, oh, I knew business better than all of you by this age, by far.(17:50) And, and I was kind of their first engineering intro to business. (17:54) And I remember thinking like, oh, you guys don't know anything about business. (17:57) This is fucking crazy.(17:59) Like you guys are engineers. (18:00) You need to learn this. (18:01) Otherwise you're just going to end up someone else's pawn in their chess game.(18:04) Like you have to learn this. (18:05) What the fuck are we doing here? (18:07) But that's also, I didn't realize how much I studied.(18:10) Like I studied Apple and I studied Microsoft and I studied Bill Gates and Paul Allen and Steve Jobs and Wozniak. (18:15) And I, I studied tech. (18:16) I studied stocks.(18:17) I studied, I studied everything just naturally. (18:20) I studied the whole fucking film industry. (18:22) I just, I had dreams and I wanted to understand how Brad Pitt got where he was and who produced what film and who was the director and how that worked and how the studios paid the directors and the budget for the film and the marketing.(18:35) I have to, I have to interrupt while I would love to hear about your studious studies. (18:39) I do have to, I have a podcast. (18:41) I know what I'm saying.(18:46) I think we got to do maybe a part two. (18:51) I do. (18:53) I mean, we didn't even really talk about it.(18:54) At the very least everybody get their purpose score. (18:57) Well, that's, we'll see if we have to do a part two. (18:59) I don't know that that would be my takeaway as well.(19:01) But how do you increase? (19:02) We didn't talk about how you increase your risk tolerance. (19:04) We didn't talk about any of that.(19:05) We should do a part two, green, yellow, or red. (19:07) We're going to do a part two. (19:08) Fear, uncertainty, risk, pain avoidance.(19:12) All right. (19:12) We're going to do a part two. (19:13) All right.(19:13) We got to hop. (19:14) As always, we love you. (19:14) We appreciate you.(19:15) Grateful for each and every one of you. (19:16) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, you want to increase your, increase your risk tolerance. (19:22) Make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here to help you do that.(19:25) Keep reaching for your full potential. (19:27) Next Level Nation. (19:28) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(19:32) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (19:35) We mean it when we say family. (19:37) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.(19:40) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes. (19:44) Thank you again. (19:45) And we will talk to you tomorrow.