The 3 Beliefs About Life (2235)

In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros challenge the assumptions that quietly shape your mindset, motivation, and sense of purpose. They open up about success, struggle, and what it really means to live with meaning without the fluff or false positivity. You’ll walk away questioning the stories you’ve been told about what life “owes” you and what you owe back. Hit play and discover the belief that’s been running your life, until now.

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Show notes:
(2:20) The three core attitudes about life
(4:41) Entitlement and the “spoiled brat” mindset
(6:15) Why Alan feels he owes life something
(10:12) The hero, villain, and victim archetypes
(15:19) Purpose, guilt, and responsibility
(20:47) Fulfillment as a byproduct of effort
(23:50) Why potential determines responsibility
(27:29) Doing more Vs. Self-preservation
(32:25) The truth about contribution and growth
(34:41) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:20 The three core attitudes about life
• 4:41 Entitlement and the “spoiled brat” mindset
• 6:15 Why Alan feels he owes life something
• 10:12 The hero, villain, and victim archetypes
• 15:19 Purpose, guilt, and responsibility
• 20:47 Fulfillment as a byproduct of effort
• 23:50 Why potential determines responsibility
• 27:29 Doing more Vs. Self-preservation
• 32:25 The truth about contribution and growth
• 34:41 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Might be a controversial take, I do not think life owes me anything. (0:04) I think that it's my job to accomplish what I set out to accomplish and I don't think the universe is helping me, I don't think luck is helping me, I don't think really anything is helping me because at the end of the day this is what I signed up for and it's my job.

Alan Lazaros

(0:18) Kevin believes life isn't different. (0:21) I actually think that might be accurate. (0:25) However, you get to choose which attitude you want.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:29) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:32) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:34) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:37) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:43) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:50) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:06) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:12) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:18) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2235, The Three Beliefs About Life. (1:24) Alan and I, I think we talked about this on the previous episode, maybe it was off-air, I don't know, but we were talking about how I don't necessarily think it's a responsibility for everybody to make the world a better place, quote-unquote. (1:43) Not in the way of, like, yes, recycle and don't be an asshole and litter, like, you know, there's some simple things that we can do as human beings, like, what are we doing here?(1:50) But I also don't think it's everybody's job to dedicate their life to making sure that the world is a better place, because I think so many of us are trying to focus on making our world a better place, which is a full-time freakin' job. (2:03) You want to explain the three beliefs and your thought process, and then we can get into it. (2:08) Yeah, the unfortunate truth is I actually think you're accurate.

Alan Lazaros

(2:11) I think life is indifferent. (2:13) However, when you say that, what do you mean by life's indifferent? (2:17) Well, so first let me give the three beliefs.(2:20) So there's something called, in the success world, success, productivity, business, there's, you trade your cash for cash. (2:28) So basically that's a saying that I think is kind of dumb, but basically you trade your money for my knowledge, attitude, skills, and habits. (2:38) It's an acronym, K-A-S-H.(2:41) So cash, C-A-S-H, you give me money, and I give you my knowledge, attitude, skills, and habits. (2:47) Attitude is based on beliefs, and we don't talk about attitude that often. (2:51) I think we have a very positive attitude.(2:54) I mean, we grind, and we laugh about it. (2:57) I mean, that's a very positive attitude. (2:58) We don't bitch and moan that much.(3:00) I've been bitching and moaning a lot today, but I appreciate you withholding that. (3:02) But that's okay. (3:03) I mean, it is what it is, and you got to get it out.(3:05) Otherwise, it just festers. (3:06) It's not good. (3:07) So I love a little good venting sesh every now and then, seriously.(3:11) Whether it's on the show or not, a lot of times it is. (3:13) Okay, three beliefs, three attitudes. (3:19) If you are out there watching or listening, I want you thinking which one resonates with you most.(3:24) And this is just me objective as a scientist, as someone studying human beings. (3:29) I think that everyone has one of these three, and I don't get along well at all with one of them. (3:34) And it makes sense now why, and I think now I'm going to understand why more, which is going to be really good.(3:40) So the first one is you believe life owes you something. (3:44) This is what we refer to as inflated self-worth. (3:47) This is you grew up in an environment.(3:50) Maybe you were an only child. (3:51) Maybe you were given a lot. (3:52) Maybe you think life owes you something, almost like you're supposed to get better grades.(3:56) Or like when you get a bad grade, you think it's the teacher's fault or the test's fault because you're amazing. (4:02) And this is what I unfortunately and playfully refer to as spoiled brat syndrome. (4:07) And I actually do, I'm going to stand behind that.(4:10) I do think that this is the entitlement attitude. (4:12) If you believe that life owes you something, I think you're in some trouble. (4:18) And I think that that's the least optimal of the three attitudes.(4:22) However, I do think we all have all three, and it's just a syntax. (4:25) So there have been times for sure where I'm like, oh, why is this happening to me? (4:29) And poor fucking me.(4:30) I don't think I struggle with that too much. (4:32) However, I do want to be honest here before my stepdad left. (4:35) And we basically went from very well off financially boats and ski trips to being completely and utterly broke.(4:41) How am I going to go to college? (4:43) I feel like that. (4:44) I remember when I was in high school, I remember saying like, I think I had some spoiled.(4:47) I think I was a little bit spoiled now upon reflection, not really, but I definitely had the like, oh, the Dreamcast. (4:56) I want Dreamcast and I want Xbox and I want, I want this, I want the best internet. (5:03) And, you know, then I went from that to, we don't have cable.(5:05) How do we keep the house in the family? (5:07) So the spoiled brat in me got ripped out from under me. (5:09) And I do understand why some people still have that.(5:14) Particularly if you grew up in a really rich country where you just have a lot of nice things without no, having no perspective whatsoever of what it was like in other countries and, or in the past. (5:24) Okay. (5:24) That's attitude number one.(5:25) I do think it's the most detrimental. (5:27) Attitude number two is yours. (5:29) It's just neutral.(5:30) It's like, listen, life doesn't give a shit about me and it's not my job to save the world either. (5:36) I'm just, it's indifferent. (5:37) It doesn't, you know, I could die tomorrow in the world that wouldn't care that much.(5:43) And I know that's dark, but that's how you kind of feel. (5:45) Think about it all the time. (5:46) Think about it.(5:46) Okay. (5:47) And you also don't have the, like, it owes you something. (5:53) Like you're supposed to win just because.(5:57) And you struggle to get along with the other one too. (6:00) You and I have tried to work with people who have the, like, I should win because I'm me. (6:04) And it's like, well, don't you have to get good at stuff?(6:08) Uh, I have the third one, which I didn't realize. (6:11) And I think it was an overcorrection from people in my past who had the first one. (6:15) I believe I owe life something.(6:19) I didn't realize this until recently. (6:21) This is very scary for me to share. (6:23) I've always felt gifted.(6:26) I've always felt like things come fairly easy to me. (6:29) I feel like I can achieve within reason, pretty much whatever I set my mind to. (6:33) There's very little that I don't think is available to me.(6:35) If I, if I put in the time, that's a big if, but I really do feel like the world is my oyster. (6:42) I really fucking do. (6:44) Like, honestly, I just don't feel like there's a ton of things that I, that I couldn't, I have dreams like Emilia being with her was a dream.(6:53) Like I, I made that happen. (6:55) Like I, that was conscious. (6:56) I just, I decided I wanted this type of woman and I'm going to find a way to make it happen.(7:01) And I had to obviously deal with a lot of heartbreak to leave the past relationships that were good, but not great except for one, which was terrible. (7:09) But I do think that I, I think as a kid, I looked around and I think that I knew on some level that other people didn't have what I had. (7:21) And I think I felt guilty about it.(7:24) And this was not conscious. (7:25) I wasn't like, Oh, I think I might be gifted. (7:28) And no, it was just like, why is everything so much easier for me than other people?(7:34) And we would play sports and we would, I would just get good at stuff. (7:37) And you know, school was fucking easy. (7:41) Like I just didn't, I just got straight A's and fucking everything was easy and I didn't have to try.(7:47) And I didn't understand why that was. (7:51) Now, I don't want that to take away from anyone out there who is gifted, who also puts in tons of effort. (7:56) I also put in a lot of effort.(7:57) I'm the ultimate try hard for sure. (7:59) Especially when I was a fucking loser in high school. (8:02) But I think that because I felt gifted, I felt like I owed, I needed to like earn my gifts by making the world a better place.(8:10) It's a responsibility. (8:11) Yeah. (8:11) It felt like with great power comes great responsibility.(8:14) And I feel like I have a responsibility. (8:16) Like, how dare I have these amazing things? (8:20) Intelligence, work ethic, opportunity, born in a country that gave me equal opportunity.(8:26) I got to go to college. (8:27) I got to go to one of the best colleges on planet earth. (8:30) And I got the government, Massachusetts and the United States government to help me pay for it.(8:36) Like, yeah, obviously I earned that through scholarships and financial aid, but I didn't make the schools and I didn't pick the teachers and I didn't pave the roads. (8:44) Like, it feels like I was given this world is your oyster. (8:49) And now in hindsight, as an adult, I do realize that the world was absolutely not my oyster and holy shit, was that like really bad.(8:59) And it's shocking that I've made it to where I am quite frankly, which is why we're having this conversation because I've been reflecting a lot lately as an adult now in therapy and this and that and going, oh, the world wasn't my oyster at all. (9:11) The world was like actually beating the fuck out of me. (9:15) And I somehow rose above all that and then felt like I owed something to the world.(9:21) Like, what a weird thing. (9:22) And honestly, a lot of people who like a Tony Robbins or an Oprah Winfrey, they had really, really, really bad childhoods. (9:34) And I realized that they, some of their greatness came from their, this, this idea that they wanted to make sure no one else suffered.(9:41) They suffered a ton and they, and they say this now, like I suffered a ton. (9:44) I wanted to make sure other people didn't have to suffer like I did. (9:47) And I totally have that.(9:49) I resonate with that so deeply. (9:51) Like the hero and the victim and the villain, the, the, the villain gets stomped on and then says, F you, I'm going to get mine. (10:00) The hero says, I'm stomped on.(10:03) I'm going to give back. (10:04) I'm going to make sure no one got hurt. (10:05) Like I did.(10:05) I'm going to change something. (10:07) Okay. (10:07) Something horrible happened to me.(10:09) I'm going to try to make change. (10:10) I'm going to try to go out and make it a better place. (10:12) And now that I'm realizing this, everyone has these three beliefs about life.(10:17) These are global beliefs and your place in the world. (10:20) And they have huge implications. (10:23) I was, I think the reason why I was such a martyr is because unconsciously I believed I had to earn my gifts every day.(10:32) And I still do like, how dare I not maximize my potential and like, trying to make the world a better place. (10:37) Imagine if I was just like on my freaking yacht, like 1% earner, my early twenties, just like with my huge financial account. (10:44) But see, I wouldn't villainize you.(10:45) I would. (10:46) That is not okay. (10:47) I know that's not okay with you.(10:49) That's so entitled. (10:51) Like how dare I, I think it depends if you can change the world.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:55) Shouldn't you? (10:57) I think there's, I mean, there's levels to it. (11:00) I was reading that.(11:00) What was I listening to the other day? (11:01) I started, uh, re-listening to an older book and maybe would measure what matters. (11:07) And we're talking about Bono and how Bono from U2 is super philanthropic.(11:14) I didn't realize the level of philanthropy he was. (11:16) I mean, he has started a ton of nonprofits and organizations. (11:21) It's like when you get to that level and you're that inspired, you have that much power and you have that much influence and you have that much, that level of resource and resourcefulness.(11:34) Hell yeah. (11:35) Go do your thing. (11:37) Go do your thing.(11:37) Cause you can change the world in a deeply meaningful way. (11:40) But I think there's levels to it.

Alan Lazaros

(11:42) But you can't just, if you don't give a dime out of a dollar, you're not going to give 10,000 out of a hundred thousand or a hundred thousand out of a million.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:51) So, but I'm just saying there's levels. (11:54) You, I think you missed a level. (11:55) It was, I'm going to get mine up to, what were the three levels?(11:59) I'm going to get mine.

Alan Lazaros

(12:00) Yeah. (12:00) So the villain, so both the villain and the hero gets stomped on. (12:05) The villain decides unconsciously, I'm going to get mine and screw everyone else.(12:09) The hero says, I'm going to make sure that I change this systemically so that no one else suffers the way I have had to suffer.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:16) And that's the martyr complex. (12:18) Yeah. (12:18) I don't think the hero, I think the hero says, I'm going to help people avoid the same pain I dealt with.(12:25) I think the guide says nobody's ever going to deal with what I dealt with.

Alan Lazaros

(12:28) No, I disagree. (12:29) The guide is I'm going to do what I can do to live my best life and lead by example, but I don't have to martyr myself.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:36) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(12:37) Yeah. (12:38) And so the victim, and by the way, this is really cool. (12:40) The victim is the world owes me something.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:43) Yeah. (12:43) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(12:43) And when it doesn't work out that way, which it won't, because it doesn't, you're going to think something's wrong with the world or something's wrong with the government or something's wrong with someone else, something's wrong with your parents, which might be true by the way. (12:56) But, uh, the villain is like, I'm owed something and I'm going to stomp on others to get it. (13:05) The hero is I'm not owed anything.(13:08) And I have to earn every second of every day to try to make the world a better place. (13:11) Otherwise I'm not worthy of life. (13:13) And the hero, Oh yeah, for sure.(13:17) Like yeah, it's how dare I think it's because that's why I hated the $75,000 cigar. (13:24) Like if you, if you had a $75,000 cigar, I would villainize you so hard. (13:29) I understand because you, you could build a school.(13:31) Like how dare you smoke? (13:33) What if I did build a school already? (13:34) No.(13:35) So I don't get to ever do what I want. (13:37) $5,000. (13:38) That's $5,000 for a cigar.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:40) I have a $65,000 car.

Alan Lazaros

(13:43) Yeah. (13:44) I don't ever get to some utility. (13:45) I don't ever get to do what I want.(13:47) It's not all or nothing. (13:48) Well, that's, that's this, this is the difference. (13:50) The cigar kills you, hurts your health, and you're now supporting a cigar company.(13:57) And that company is now making more cigars, which is killing more people. (14:01) And there that 75 grand should go to food and utility and people who need clothing. (14:06) It shouldn't like there's levels to this.(14:08) You have a car that's actually fairly practical and it's an electric vehicle and you lease it by the way. (14:14) And that's going to go to someone after you're done with it. (14:16) I actually think about all that.(14:17) Like, I believe that you shouldn't just be some selfish fucking prick, not you, but like the metaphorical you who just doesn't care about anyone else.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:26) Like that's, I don't think that's the, I think that's an example of again, that's an extreme example, right? (14:31) Like that's fucking excessive for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(14:33) Thank you.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:34) And you would never have a $75,000 cigar. (14:36) Well, I don't smoke cigars. (14:37) No.(14:38) Okay. (14:39) Would I go on a $75,000 vacation? (14:41) Maybe.(14:42) Maybe.

Alan Lazaros

(14:43) Well, okay. (14:44) Well, where, where, and by the way, that's pouring back into the economy wherever you're going. (14:48) That's fair.(14:49) It's, it's, it's the cigar that is literally burning money. (14:52) You might as well just burn 75 grand when you could have built a school. (14:55) That's, and again, I think I need to unpack things because otherwise it doesn't land.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:00) I just think it's a, it's a big commitment for people. (15:04) The thing is like, I'm not at the level you are with that, but I do, I feel like it's a responsibility to tell my story for sure. (15:13) And the fact that I can't further support people financially, I literally lose sleep over that.(15:19) I'm not kidding. (15:19) So you are coming to my end on this a little. (15:22) I've all, Alan, before I started the podcast, my dream was to buy somebody's fucking Thanksgiving meals and Christmas presents.(15:28) I've wanted to do this since I was a kid. (15:29) So then maybe you are on that. (15:32) Maybe we both are.

Alan Lazaros

(15:33) But I don't expect other people.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:34) I don't expect other people to do that. (15:36) Oh. (15:36) That's the difference is I know how fucking hard it is for me to get to here.(15:40) I don't expect somebody to say, not only am I going to overcome everything, everything and get to a place where I can comfortably support myself. (15:48) I'm also going to sign up to change the world, but this is the problem.

Alan Lazaros

(15:54) Changing the world. (15:55) If you recycle, you are changing the world. (15:58) Yes, but I'm saying it's not like you're going to dent the universe.(16:01) I think the level of belief is connected to the level of impact you think you're going to have. (16:06) But if you don't try to contribute, and this comes back to, and I'm sorry to interrupt you, Kev, but this comes back to economy and ecosystem. (16:14) So like everything in nature has a purpose beyond itself.(16:17) The bees with the pollen. (16:19) I'm not a fucking economist, ecologist, but you guys, people understand that it's the circle of life thing. (16:33) The lion eats the zebra.(16:36) The lion dies and feeds the grass. (16:38) The zebra eats the grass. (16:39) It's that.(16:40) It's the circle of life. (16:42) And so squirrels collect nuts and everyone does their part. (16:45) And I think with human beings, we don't do our part.(16:50) Like people who are like, Hey, why don't I get paid more? (16:53) It's like, well, you get paid more when you contribute more. (16:56) Is all that landing for you now?(16:58) Whereas in the past, it was like a lack of understanding. (17:00) It's like, well, minimum wage should be raised. (17:02) You don't believe that anymore necessarily.(17:04) It's, and I'm not saying it should or shouldn't, right? (17:07) This is a whole nother conversation, but at the end of the day, this is hopefully what I think will land. (17:13) You get to choose if you're out there watching or listening.(17:15) Like, let's just say hypothetically, you and I are going to have a better life than most people statistically. (17:19) One of the reasons why is because we're contributing so much. (17:23) I get to afford whatever I want.(17:25) I get to drive whatever I want. (17:26) I get to live wherever I want. (17:28) I get to impact people all over the world.(17:29) I get to coach whoever I want. (17:31) Why? (17:32) Because I decided I was going to give so much value to the world that I would be able to have the financial freedom to do what I want with my one meaningful, magnificent life.(17:41) And I'm trying to say that anyone could do that. (17:45) Assuming you believe in yourself enough to climb the ladder of self-belief, right? (17:48) But the attitude changes belief, because if you have the attitude of life owes you something, you're not going to build a castle metaphorically, and therefore you won't build belief.(17:56) So, it's almost like if you don't choose the martyr road, I'd rather you choose the martyr road and then realize it's detrimental and then become a guide than choose the victim or villain. (18:06) Ah, but you're making it too simple.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:09) I'm making it sound easier than it is. (18:10) The martyr roads, some people never come back from that. (18:15) They never come back.(18:16) Just like the opposite road, the villain role, some people never come back from that either. (18:22) But there's so many fucking things. (18:23) It's better than victim.(18:25) You're just stuck. (18:26) You're just completely stuck. (18:27) I agree.(18:28) But again, I've been everyone.

Alan Lazaros

(18:31) So, I don't... (18:32) I think we are all everyone. (18:33) And I think that's a whole other metaphor.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:35) But I think we get stuck in certain ones longer. (18:38) We're not stuck.

Alan Lazaros

(18:38) Which one are you now?

Kevin Palmieri

(18:39) Stay. (18:40) Lately hero? (18:41) Yeah, lately hero.(18:43) I'm aspiring to the guide, but I think there are times where like, yeah, you put the team on your shoulders and you take care of it. (18:50) You walk through the thorns and it is what it is. (18:53) I think that's part of it.(18:54) That's a season. (18:55) That's a season. (18:57) But I feel like the guide more than ever.(19:00) I feel like the guy...

Alan Lazaros

(19:01) I don't understand. (19:02) I think this is why the high schoolers were making fun of me.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:05) You are easy to make fun of by people because they can see how seriously you take life. (19:13) And I'm telling you, most people just don't take life that serious. (19:16) Wouldn't you agree their life would be better if they did?(19:19) A hundred percent. (19:20) A hundred percent. (19:21) And I'm not the guy who's going to get them to do it.(19:26) Why not? (19:27) Someone has to. (19:28) Someone has to lead.(19:29) A hundred percent. (19:30) And that's you. (19:31) That's you.(19:32) That's not me. (19:33) The thing is you were delusional and naive enough to think it was going to be you. (19:38) And for some people it will be.(19:40) I was never naive enough to think it was going to be me. (19:44) And it still will be for some, but I don't know what end. (19:48) I think I'd rather be on my end, honestly.(19:50) Really? (19:50) I think so. (19:51) I do think I'm more accurate on this.(19:53) I do. (19:54) I do think I'm more accurate. (19:55) I will get more out of life than you.(19:58) Because I'll put way more effort. (20:00) You're capable of getting more out of life than I am. (20:03) That is a statement I will stand by.

Alan Lazaros

(20:04) But isn't that because of the attitude? (20:05) Some of that is because of the attitude.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:07) Yes, some of it. (20:07) But you literally started with, I'm kind of gifted. (20:12) You know, fuck.(20:15) Okay. (20:15) And I'm not villainizing that. (20:17) I'm not making that wrong.

Alan Lazaros

(20:18) I just, I feel like we all have a responsibility to do all we can with this one magnificent life.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:27) But I think fulfillment comes as a byproduct of that. (20:28) It starts closest to you. (20:30) You have to be responsible for yourself first.(20:32) Agreed.

Alan Lazaros

(20:32) If you can't take care of you, you're not worried about anything else. (20:36) Last piece. (20:37) This is great.(20:38) Okay, so based in the context of this conversation, your responsibility to life is based on your potential. (20:47) So if you're gifted, you owe more to life than someone who's not. (20:50) Sure.(20:50) And honestly, that does make sense because I have one client who I adore and her brother is mentally challenged. (20:57) And she and I have very powerful philosophical conversations about how she has a bigger responsibility than he does to make the world a better place. (21:05) She might be a politician and she wants to make change and I'm so proud of her for that.(21:09) But the truth is I'm trying to kind of call her out. (21:11) It's like, listen, you're very gifted. (21:13) You're very bright and you ain't doing it.(21:16) Like you're barely putting in 10%. (21:19) The world deserves better than your 10%. (21:23) Like I can't stand when people squander their potential.(21:26) The world suffers when we don't do all we can. (21:30) Imagine if there was no Tony Robbins, no Oprah Winfrey, no, like the world would be a way worse place without leaders who step up. (21:38) And I honestly, I'm proud.(21:41) One of the reasons I like and adore you so much is because you, I feel like you've made chicken salad out of chicken shit. (21:47) Oh, I appreciate it. (21:47) Like that's my favorite part of you.(21:50) And if you didn't, I wouldn't value you as much. (21:52) It's not fair that everyone just like wants a handout and doesn't. (21:57) Like, I think that that's what's true is if you have great capabilities, and if you're truly grateful for your gifts, if you're truly grateful for this one magnificent life, you better squeeze everything out of that orange that you can get out of it.(22:12) Because how dare we just have all these amazing gifts and all these amazing opportunities and then sit on the couch like a slug and waste away when we could grow and contribute and learn and improve and add value. (22:28) And the truth is life gives you back fulfillment. (22:34) You're more fulfilled now than when you were effing off, for sure.(22:38) And I think that that's the truth. (22:40) That's my truth. (22:42) You will be more fulfilled.(22:44) I believe fulfillment is a byproduct of you living in what you're meant to do in the world. (22:50) And I don't want to say anything I'm saying right now. (22:52) I think I'm meant to say this.(22:54) I think I'm supposed to say this to people. (22:57) You're never going to be fulfilled on the couch eating Cheetos watching Netflix. (23:01) It's not going to happen.(23:03) Now, that doesn't mean you can never watch Netflix. (23:05) But one of them is R&R to try to reach your potential. (23:10) The other one is you're just wasting away what could be.(23:14) I think reaching your full potential, like trees grow as tall as they can. (23:18) And I feel like human beings are meant to grow and contribute and then have a high quality of life as a byproduct. (23:26) I do.(23:27) I think that would make the world a wonderful place. (23:29) But of course, I believe that. (23:30) And that's why we started a personal development success company, to help people reach their full potential so that you are fulfilled.(23:37) Because fulfilled people don't hurt people. (23:39) I grew up around a lot of wildly unfulfilled people. (23:41) And so did you.(23:43) And the reason you are so fulfilled is because you're willing to put more into life. (23:47) You're investing more in yourself. (23:48) You're investing more into life.(23:50) You're investing more into your career and your skills and your mindset. (23:53) And that's why you're going to get more out of life. (23:54) And I think that that's a choice for every one of us.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:58) I think that the biggest difference is I know why I did it. (24:01) And I know why other people won't. (24:03) I'm always living there.(24:04) It's like, yeah, no, it's great. (24:06) And it's awesome. (24:06) And I'm overwhelmed.(24:07) I'm stressed, but I'm the most fulfilled I've ever been. (24:09) And I also understand why most people don't want to do it. (24:13) It makes sense.(24:15) But don't you believe it's the better path? (24:17) I think it's a better path for some people. (24:19) No, I don't believe it's not.(24:20) No, not as a blanket statement. (24:21) No, because what it would take to get there, I think, is not it's not like we're starting. (24:29) We're not all starting at zero.(24:31) Like right now, if you're listening to this, you might be 36 years old. (24:33) You might have $175,000 of credit card debt. (24:38) Divorce twice.(24:39) Kids that hate you. (24:39) You're not starting in the same place as somebody else necessarily.

Alan Lazaros

(24:42) But they can start reaching their full potential starting now. (24:46) Sure. (24:46) And that's the better road than the alternative, which is let it ride.(24:49) Cameron just got wonky.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:51) Yeah, like nightlight here.

Alan Lazaros

(24:53) Yes. (24:54) And their potential is going to be different. (24:56) Yeah, agreed.(24:57) So let's assume that it was based on their potential. (24:59) Then you do believe this is which attitude would you pick out of those three? (25:03) Mine.(25:04) No, the indifferent one. (25:08) Yeah. (25:09) Yeah.(25:10) Can't can't because I'm still great at this. (25:12) I've literally dedicated thousands of hours to making the world a better place. (25:16) That's because of you're not picking the second one.(25:19) You're picking the third one, which is you do owe life something. (25:22) I I we're going to have to do. (25:26) We'll have to do a part two.(25:26) This is why are you doing this for free? (25:28) If you don't owe life something you don't. (25:30) That's not why.(25:31) No, because I love this. (25:33) If I stopped enjoying this, I would stop doing it. (25:36) I that's not fulfillment comes as a byproduct of doing all you can with all you have.(25:42) I understand. (25:42) But you're doing all you can with all you have. (25:45) But I could do all I can while I have with some in another direction.(25:49) Outside, but it wouldn't be as fulfilling.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:51) Why not? (25:53) Well, it's not in alignment with your potential. (25:56) What if it's like, I don't know.(25:58) We'll have to do another. (25:59) You and I are always it's always the same. (26:01) Like I want to help people as much as possible.(26:04) One of the reasons I have such a high net worth goal is because I wanted. (26:08) I want to donate a lot of money. (26:11) So much money.(26:12) And the fact that I can't do that yet physically upsets me.

Alan Lazaros

(26:15) That's my means you have the third attitude. (26:18) The contribution and the impact is first. (26:21) That means you have the third attitude.(26:23) And I think that when you had suicidal ideation in your mid 20s, you realize the detriments of your.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:31) I don't think about it as I think you're trying to impact more people. (26:36) I think for you, it's I don't ever want anybody to have to deal with what I dealt with. (26:41) I don't for me, it's not anybody.(26:42) It's whoever I can get close to.

Alan Lazaros

(26:45) At least in my mind. (26:46) No, I think for me, it's it's maximized. (26:48) It's do as much as I can do it.(26:50) Someone asked me on book club like if if I would ever consider running for president. (26:54) And I said, I don't want to. (26:57) But if I was ever offered the opportunity, it would be very hard for me not to do it.(27:00) Because I feel like I would. (27:02) It would be see that again. (27:05) I'm never I would feel like I'm I would I would have trouble sleeping at night.(27:09) Knowing that I could have done more, even if that is detrimental to you. (27:15) That's the difference. (27:17) But it's not detrimental to me.(27:19) I mean, it would be, but I'm going to age 50 years and I think it's it's that. (27:26) And again, this is for everyone listening. (27:28) Like, think about this yourself.(27:29) I would have trouble sleeping at night knowing I could have done more. (27:33) Yeah, I think this goes down to a belief.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:35) Dude, I need to make sure that I'm there's self-preservation that there would be. (27:41) There would be like, I feel like I. (27:43) I feel like you, too.(27:45) Am I ever going to get the call? (27:47) I don't think so.

Alan Lazaros

(27:49) I had one of my clients say he's an AP Calc teacher. (27:52) I know we got to jump. (27:54) He said, I said, what would it be like if I like came and spoke to your students?(27:57) He's like, oh, no, no, they fucking hate too much. (28:00) That's what he said. (28:01) And I could probably I would love to talk.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:04) I think I could win over a classroom way easier. (28:08) I literally asked him.

Alan Lazaros

(28:10) I said, not Kevin. (28:11) I said, what about Kevin? (28:12) He said, oh, yeah, they would love Kevin.(28:14) I'm like, oh, my God. (28:15) Yeah, you got a Miyagi. (28:17) No, no, no.(28:17) Hold on. (28:18) And he said, but here's the truth. (28:20) If it wasn't for your influence on Kevin, it never would have been Kevin.(28:23) Yeah, for sure. (28:23) And it's like, whoa, I actually want to help the students. (28:27) I would love to go help his students, but it wouldn't work.(28:30) I would be too much. (28:30) It would be too much. (28:31) Yeah, yeah.(28:32) And now you've become the man who needs to be the guy. (28:36) You need to be the guy. (28:37) You don't need to do anything.(28:38) Your choice. (28:39) But, dude, I mean, you're doing the world a disservice by not being all you can be.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:44) I think it's a balancing act of doing the world a disservice versus feeling like you're doing yourself a disservice. (28:49) Fair. (28:50) I think it's always, again, dude, this journey has been fucking brutal.(28:54) I would not have anxiety like I do. (28:58) Harder for him than me. (28:59) In certain aspects.(29:01) Most aspects.

Alan Lazaros

(29:02) No, yeah, certain aspects.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:04) Yes. (29:05) Yeah. (29:05) Yeah, it's like, dude, easy for you to say.(29:09) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you spoke to the governor of the state when you were like 18? (29:18) Oh, okay. (29:19) In college?(29:20) Oh, you've had how many? (29:21) Oh, you had one of the CEOs of one of the bigger companies be like, hey, you need to be the fucking CEO of this business? (29:27) Oh, interesting.(29:29) And again, I'm joking, obviously. (29:30) I know. (29:31) I'm happy for that.(29:33) But your responsibility is greater than mine.

Alan Lazaros

(29:35) With great power comes great responsibility. (29:38) I do believe that. (29:40) And hey, shout out to Spider-Man 1.(29:42) Spider-Man 1 with Tobey Maguire. (29:44) They had it right, man. (29:46) This is good.(29:48) Bonesaw is ready.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:49) If anything. (29:49) You remember that? (29:51) I haven't seen that movie in so long.(29:52) Yeah. (29:53) Shout out to Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. (29:56) That was a really good movie.(29:57) If anything, this is a really good example of what you get. (30:00) Like we've done a couple episodes, back to back to back maybe, where Alan has been fired up. (30:05) This is Alan's thing.(30:06) You maximize your potential. (30:08) You hate to see people squander. (30:09) Amelia has that core as well.(30:10) It makes sense. (30:10) She has that core.

Alan Lazaros

(30:11) We figured that out early in our relationship. (30:13) She asked me the why, why, why, why, why, why. (30:15) At the end, it's like, I'm not grateful for my gifts if I don't do all I can with all I have to help the world be that.(30:22) I aim at the highest possible good. (30:24) And that's the hardest. (30:25) It's the hardest way to live.(30:26) It is. (30:27) But it's the most fulfilling. (30:29) I try my best to do my best in every scenario, including right this moment.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:33) I think we'll have to do a part two. (30:34) I think we could dive really deep into this. (30:36) I know you probably don't want to do part two, because it'll be scary and vulnerable.(30:39) But I think it's important. (30:40) I have to have courage. (30:41) But yeah, I don't want to at all.(30:45) But I do feel like I'm supposed to. (30:46) I think we should, because I think there's a lot in this. (30:49) And I think if anything, and we do have to hop, you and I are really leaning into who we are.(30:55) And again, I am dedicating my life to making the world a better place. (30:59) I just want to make that clear. (31:00) I do care about the world.(31:02) Alan made it seem like I didn't. (31:03) You're a fucking loser. (31:05) What are you doing with your life?(31:06) That's not what I said, and you know it.

Alan Lazaros

(31:07) I actually think that you are more this way than you are saying. (31:11) I am when it comes to the money. (31:13) Yeah, yeah, yeah.(31:14) I am when it comes to the money. (31:15) Give a fish versus teach to fish. (31:16) We're doing both, baby.(31:17) 100%. (31:18) This is good.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:18) We're teaming up. (31:19) This is what I said to Alan one day. (31:21) He's like, no, you teach somebody to fish and they fish for life.(31:23) And I said, that only works if they don't die of starvation while they learn how to fish. (31:27) And he's like, no. (31:27) I am with you.

Alan Lazaros

(31:28) It's both. (31:29) It's both. (31:29) Give a fish and then teach to fish.(31:32) 100%. (31:32) And then teach them to teach others how to fish. (31:34) That's lead leaders.(31:35) There you go. (31:36) And then you change the whole world.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:37) But that's a new thing.

Alan Lazaros

(31:38) I lead you. (31:39) You lead so many people. (31:40) It's really inspiring.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:41) Well, I never would have thought of the whole lead leader things. (31:44) Like, Emilia's like, it was better your best. (31:46) And then hers was better your bettered best.(31:47) And I was like, what the fuck? (31:49) Yeah. (31:50) I would never have gotten there.(31:51) I think better your best is awesome. (31:53) You know, like, that's good. (31:54) I like that.

Alan Lazaros

(31:55) That one was mine. (31:56) Yeah. (31:57) She's brilliant with that.(31:58) So there's always- She actually has another one. (32:00) I believe it. (32:00) Better your bettered best.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:02) And it gets- It's like, when does it end? (32:04) It doesn't. (32:05) You know, butter your toast.(32:06) Butter your buttered toast. (32:07) Butter your buttered buttered toast.

Alan Lazaros

(32:09) Like, you have a coronary to keep doing that. (32:12) I adore this conversation. (32:14) I do.(32:14) It was wildly vulnerable. (32:15) But thank you, anyone who did listen. (32:17) Because ultimately, I'm not kidding.(32:20) If it was only about self-preservation, I wouldn't have said a fucking word of that. (32:24) I promise you that. (32:25) It's about hopefully shifting your mindset to this idea that you can contribute more to life.(32:33) And when you do, it will pour back. (32:36) You're going to get out of life what you put into it. (32:38) And that is a fucking spiritual formula.(32:41) That is the way nature works. (32:43) You get out of life what you put in.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:47) I'm glad we did this. (32:48) Yeah, we'll have to do a part two. (32:49) We'll do a part two on, I don't know.(32:51) I don't know exactly what it'll be about. (32:52) But we'll take something from this and we'll go deeper on it. (32:56) You dig?(32:56) Appreciate it, man. (32:56) This is eight years coming for this conversation. (32:59) Well, next episode will be on something I can bring value to.(33:04) I don't know. (33:04) I'll think of something. (33:05) You did bring value.(33:06) Comedy skit or something. (33:07) I'll think of something. (33:08) You did bring value.(33:09) I'm just realizing that you and I are leaning into our uniqueness. (33:14) It takes time to encourage, man. (33:15) I respect it.(33:16) That's an interesting thing for sure. (33:19) Healthy discords have provided tremendous value. (33:21) It's been cool.(33:21) Yes, they have. (33:22) Yes, they have. (33:22) All right.(33:22) Next Level Nation, private Facebook group for amazing humans like you. (33:25) Book club every single Saturday, 12.30 Eastern time. (33:27) Right now they are reading Rationality by Steven Pinker.(33:31) So you do not have to have read the book. (33:33) You don't have to participate. (33:34) You can be a fly on the wall.(33:35) Just be respectful. (33:36) Fly on the wall or else you get booted. (33:38) I was going to say you get swatted, but that's a little intense.

Alan Lazaros

(33:42) Next Levelers, we have a masterclass coming up. (33:46) Nice. (33:47) I'm clicking on it right now.(33:49) I did a vote in our community. (33:52) Leadership, productivity, and I forget. (33:56) Mindset maybe was the other one.(33:58) Most people voted for productivity. (34:01) So we came the five major productivity fundamentals you must master to achieve your dreams. (34:08) So Pareto's principle is going to be one of them.(34:10) And we're going to go deep into each one. (34:12) All right. (34:13) It's a masterclass.(34:13) So it's going to be me in front of a virtual notebook. (34:15) We're going to go deep. (34:17) And you're going to leave with deeper understanding of yourself, others in the world.(34:20) And you will be more productive after that, which means you can contribute more, which means that life will give you back more, which means you'll be more successful. (34:26) Which means you'll be able to achieve more. (34:28) It's a whole virtuous upward trajectory.

Kevin Palmieri

(34:33) Not a great, that could be a good band name. (34:35) Virtuous Upward Trajectory. (34:36) I could see that.(34:37) Nice. (34:39) But I'll work on it. (34:41) As always, we love you.(34:42) We appreciate you. (34:42) Grateful for each and every one of you. (34:44) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day.(34:50) Even though Alan doesn't think I want to add value to the world to help you get there. (34:54) Keep reaching for your full potential.

Alan Lazaros

(34:56) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(34:58) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (35:02) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(35:05) We mean it when we say family. (35:07) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (35:10) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(35:14) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.