Choice VS Responsibility (2239)

What happens when purpose stops feeling optional? In this episode, Kevin and Alan break down the difference between choosing your path and being chosen by it. From giving till it hurts to learning the art of “intelligent generosity,” they reveal why responsibility, not motivation, is what keeps real leaders moving. Expect laughter, truth bombs, and a few lines that’ll make you rethink what success even means. Hit play, your excuses just met their match.

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Show notes:
(2:44) The power of giving and generosity
(5:29) Teaching others how to fish
(8:17) The difference between choice and responsibility
(10:25) Pain, passion, and purpose
(13:00) Intelligent generosity and sustainability
(15:17) Destiny Vs. Free will
(17:52) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:44 The power of giving and generosity
• 5:29 Teaching others how to fish
• 8:17 The difference between choice and responsibility
• 10:25 Pain, passion, and purpose
• 13:00 Intelligent generosity and sustainability
• 15:17 Destiny Vs. Free will
• 17:52 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I was on a podcast today and I cried and today we're going to talk about why. (0:08) Leaning into courage, Kevin and I are sharing a lot of things because we want to see you successful and we want you to learn in advance some of the things we had to learn the hard way.

Alan Lazaros

(0:21) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:24) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:25) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:28) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:35) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Alan Lazaros

(0:42) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:57) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:04) Welcome to Next Level University.

Alan Lazaros

(1:09) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,239, choice versus responsibility. (1:16) Heavy. (1:17) Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy.(1:19) I was on a great podcast today. (1:21) I've been talking a lot about it. (1:22) It was just great.(1:23) It was a great experience. (1:24) Great questions. (1:24) Just good.(1:25) Just a good, humble, heart-driven human being trying to do good in the world. (1:28) I love those types of people. (1:29) Big fan.(1:30) Big fan. (1:31) Oh, I think I know this person. (1:33) No.(1:33) Well, I don't. (1:35) Uh, no. (1:36) Ah, damn.(1:37) I asked you if you were on the show and you said no, so I don't know. (1:39) No, but I was on a pre-chat and she said, hey, I interviewed Kevin yesterday. (1:43) Uh, this was today.(1:45) So unless you talk to her tomorrow, today, no. (1:49) It's not the same person. (1:50) It's not the same person.(1:52) Great, great episode. (1:53) And I told my story and they said, hey, do you think, do you think slash what parts of your story and what part of your childhood and your experiences created you starting the podcast? (2:06) And I was like, it's everything, everything and everything.(2:10) Everything got me to where I am today and there are definitely some few things that I wish didn't happen that had to in order for me to get here. (2:16) What are you smiling about? (2:18) I'm just in a good mood.(2:19) Okay. (2:19) And I, I think of things that I think will be funny and we don't have time. (2:24) Yeah, we don't, we're, we're up against it.(2:26) This is a, this is a rough week traveling. (2:27) I'm traveling Friday and Saturday, so this is a rough week. (2:30) And then I'm traveling Tuesday and Wednesday next week.(2:32) I'm going to, I'm burning down. (2:34) I'm burning down. (2:35) Okay.(2:38) She said, have you always wanted to help people? (2:44) Like what part of that is this podcast thing? (2:47) What part of this just helping people?(2:49) And I said, when I was young, although this was reckless, my mom used to tip a ton. (2:56) We go through the drive through. (2:57) She'd give a tip.(2:58) The delivery driver would come. (3:00) She'd give him a tip. (3:00) She always was good with that.(3:02) I love that. (3:03) I always looked up to that. (3:04) And I said, ever since I was young, I literally said, I am going to go to the mall around Christmas and I'm going to buy Christmas presents for a single parent.(3:18) We have a foundation for single parents. (3:22) I'm going to go and buy somebody Thanksgiving dinner. (3:26) And if I do not accomplish that, I will consider myself a failure.(3:30) I, we talked about the car in the last step. (3:33) That ain't it. (3:33) It ain't the car.(3:34) That's not, that's not the thing. (3:36) If I don't accomplish that, I will consider myself a failure. (3:39) I have to, I don't even want to.(3:42) It's not that I want to, I have to, I don't think I'll be able to live with myself if I don't. (3:46) That's why I did this in the first place. (3:49) Shout out to mom and Mima.(3:51) Shout out to mom and Mima.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:52) Your family. (3:54) Yes. (3:54) They have never missed a donation of Next Level Hope Foundation.(3:57) Never. (3:58) Never once missed. (3:59) Every single time.(4:00) They're the first ones there.

Alan Lazaros

(4:01) Boom. (4:01) Thank you so much. (4:02) Super grateful.(4:03) And that's something I got. (4:04) That's, I mean, that's something I got from my family, but I've been reckless with that at times, but it physically upsets me that I see somebody who needs, like I'll see a GoFundMe and it physically upsets me that I can't just pay it off. (4:17) I, I, I, I fucking can't stand it.(4:20) I can't stand it. (4:21) Like I have to. (4:22) There's your thing then.(4:23) That is my thing. (4:24) Now, is it the most logical thing? (4:26) Nope.(4:27) Is it what's best for the money that I acquire? (4:31) Nope. (4:32) Is that going to help me be more wealthy?(4:35) Nope. (4:36) Hold on. (4:37) Well, maybe.(4:38) Maybe. (4:39) Let's get another one after. (4:40) I don't care if it is or not.(4:41) That's what I think I'm supposed to do and.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:44) It will help you earn more because you have a deeper why underneath earning more.

Alan Lazaros

(4:49) Fair.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:49) Which will actually make you wealthier. (4:51) Fair. (4:51) If you use it right and aren't too reckless.(4:53) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(4:54) Well, I would.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:55) Intelligent giving. (4:56) I will come to you for that for sure. (4:58) I was reckless with over giving my time and effort.(5:00) You were reckless with over giving your money.

Alan Lazaros

(5:02) Well, luckily you can get one back. (5:05) You can get one back. (5:06) How fucking dare you?(5:07) That's true though.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:08) It is true.

Alan Lazaros

(5:09) That's true. (5:10) That's true. (5:10) And I have to state that.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:12) You can get one back. (5:12) By the way, time, effort and money are your only three resources. (5:15) Yeah.(5:15) But I'm going to throw this one at you. (5:16) You can buy your time back with money.

Alan Lazaros

(5:21) To a degree, you know. (5:23) To a degree. (5:24) Yeah.(5:24) Yeah. (5:24) To a degree. (5:26) All I'm saying in this episode is.(5:29) I think the reason if you've ever heard Alan get super pumped up when it comes to people squandering their potential.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:38) Oh yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(5:39) I think at the end of the day you probably think it's your responsibility to maximize your potential and your responsibility to help other people that want to maximize their potential do that. (5:46) I believe your responsibility is to teach people how to fish. (5:53) I do believe my responsibility is to give people fish so they can survive while they learn how to fish.(5:58) And I think together that allows people to teach other people how to fish.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:03) Nice.

Alan Lazaros

(6:04) That's my thesis.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:05) I think it's excellent. (6:07) Hypothesis and thesis. (6:08) I was thinking about this the other day.(6:09) Am I saying it wrong? (6:10) Hypo. (6:11) No.(6:12) No. (6:12) Thesis is a conclusion, I believe. (6:15) And a hypothesis is a pre-conclusion.(6:18) Like one that you think will pan out. (6:21) I just wonder sometimes if you actually mean this is my conclusion or if this is my hypothesis. (6:26) So maybe you are using it wrong, actually.

Alan Lazaros

(6:28) No, no. (6:29) My theory is my statement. (6:32) This is my, I don't know, maybe.(6:34) Who knows?

Kevin Palmieri

(6:35) Wait, wait, wait. (6:36) Are you saying that you believe this to be true? (6:39) Yes.(6:40) And you're going to go prove it or you already proved it?

Alan Lazaros

(6:44) It's proved. (6:46) A theory is a systematic explanation for observations that is supported by evidence often developed through the scientific method. (6:53) Nice.(6:54) So theory is practiced. (6:56) Hypothesis is suggested.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:59) First of all, I said thesis versus hypothesis.

Alan Lazaros

(7:03) Those are the same word. (7:05) Holy shit. (7:06) That's the first time you've ever thought of that.(7:08) That's life-changing information. (7:09) That's why it's like, is hypo. (7:12) Does hypo mean before?

Kevin Palmieri

(7:14) I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

(7:14) No, hypo means extra. (7:18) It means an abundance of, I think. (7:21) Hold on.(7:22) Hypothesis versus thesis. (7:24) Here we go.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:24) This is what we should be doing in this 12-minute episode. (7:28) Hypothesis is a testable prediction or assumption about how things work, often used in scientific or experimental contexts. (7:35) Okay.(7:35) So I think what you mean to say is that you have a hypothesis. (7:39) I would say that's right. (7:40) A thesis is a central argument or claim you intend to prove or defend.(7:43) Okay. (7:44) They're very similar. (7:46) Simple, similar.

Alan Lazaros

(7:46) My brain is, I'm not firing on all, I'm struggling.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:49) How's your Wi-Fi doing? (7:50) World-class. (7:52) You haven't had any skips from me?

Alan Lazaros

(7:53) Only the best over here. (7:54) Okay. (7:55) What's going on with you?(7:57) You've skipped a few times. (7:58) I can't tell if it's your upload. (7:59) It's not mine.(8:00) It's yours. (8:01) How do you know that? (8:02) It's my hypothesis.(8:03) Okay. (8:04) All right. (8:05) Let's go back to the point of this episode, which was what?(8:09) I was going to say, if the person who commented that was off the rails and useless, here's this one. (8:14) I apologize in advance. (8:17) There's a difference between a choice and responsibility.(8:19) It is my responsibility. (8:20) It's not my choice. (8:20) Whether I want to do it or not, I feel responsible that I have to do that because that will, I think that's what I'm here to do.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:27) What do you say to someone, and by the way, for that person on Spotify, it's your responsibility to take value out of this episode. (8:32) Why are you watching then? (8:34) If it's not of value.(8:35) Shots fired. (8:36) It is what it is. (8:37) There are a lot of other podcasts, brother.(8:40) Throw your hate somewhere else.

Alan Lazaros

(8:41) I don't know if this, I'm a brother or sister. (8:43) I have no idea. (8:44) Oh.(8:45) Everything on Spotify is anonymous.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:48) Actually, keep throwing the hate on. (8:49) Let the algorithm roll, baby. (8:51) I'm kidding.(8:52) All right. (8:53) What was I going to say? (8:54) Oh, what would you say to someone who said, okay, Kev, I see you.(8:59) That's awesome. (9:00) You want to do that. (9:01) And you have to do that.(9:02) And if you don't do that, you're a fucking failure in your own head. (9:04) I'm with you. (9:05) Okay.(9:05) And if I don't help people reach their potential, I feel the same way. (9:09) What would you say to someone if they said, hey, Kev, what if you think that this is based on core wounding? (9:14) Like, what if this is a wound for you?(9:17) I don't care. (9:19) Nice. (9:20) I don't care.(9:22) Is there a centered version of it though? (9:24) Because I think the reason I want to help people reach their full potential is because I think it caused me so much pain to see people squander their potential. (9:32) Same.(9:32) And it certainly caused me pain being around people who didn't reach their potential.

Alan Lazaros

(9:36) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:36) For you, not having money caused you a lot of pain, right?

Alan Lazaros

(9:41) Excuse me. (9:42) That, and as somebody who has had the opportunity, and again, I'm not donating millions of dollars here, but as somebody who has had the opportunity to like, give somebody money and watch what happens, it's the best. (9:54) It's the most, it's one of the most rewarding things in the world.(9:57) Even though I know it's not the answer to all the problems.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:01) But it was the answer to a lot of your problems.

Alan Lazaros

(10:04) Yeah. (10:05) But I think the core wound for me, I mean, I made the money and I realized money doesn't buy happiness and I don't know. (10:10) No, I don't think it's from that.(10:12) I would say if somebody said that, I would say I've done a lot of...

Kevin Palmieri

(10:15) Well, it has to come from somewhere. (10:18) You were on a podcast recently. (10:20) I did a pre-chat earlier.(10:21) We talked about it. (10:22) It's called Passion from Pain. (10:25) Yep.(10:26) My deepest passion is, it bothers me to my core when people squander their potential. (10:34) It doesn't bother you as much. (10:35) I've noticed.(10:36) No. (10:37) It doesn't bother me nearly as much when people struggle with money. (10:39) I'm not saying that's...(10:41) For me, I want to go in and teach them how to... (10:43) I want to teach you finance and I want to teach you wealth. (10:46) I want to go into high schools.(10:47) We have a group coaching member. (10:49) Shout out to you, Jordan. (10:50) He listens.(10:51) And I was like, oh my God, am I too late? (10:53) Can I not tell you what I want to tell you? (10:55) He sent a video saying, hey, I'm heading to a high school.(10:57) I'm going to be teaching. (10:58) They're about to go to college. (10:59) And I was like, tell them about fucking personal development.(11:02) I don't know if you did or not. (11:03) I'm sure I said, I joked. (11:05) I said, this is why high school students hate me.(11:07) They don't hate me. (11:08) The point I'm making is I wish I could teach at every school. (11:13) Personal development, self-improvement, personal growth, finance, fitness, habits, habit tracking, mindset.(11:21) Next level university is how to help people be successful and fulfilled. (11:31) And I'm supposed to teach people. (11:33) When I see people struggling, I want to go and teach them, which you can't do because they didn't give you permission in advance to do that.(11:39) So I've learned that the hard way. (11:40) But you also... (11:41) So you just want to go give them money, give them a fish.

Alan Lazaros

(11:46) When I need a good cry, there are many channels on Instagram where people do that. (11:51) They go to a grocery store and the person in front of them, they'll be like, hey, can you pay for this? (11:58) I don't have money for it.(11:59) And if the person is nice and kind, they reward them. (12:04) Dude, oh my God. (12:07) Now, my main issue is I don't think I can record it, which is an issue because it's very hard.(12:12) That's what people say.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:12) You can't spread something if you don't record it.

Alan Lazaros

(12:13) It's very... (12:14) Yeah, you got to perpetuate it. (12:15) That's the goal is to...(12:16) If they didn't record it, I wouldn't be inspired because I wouldn't know they were doing it. (12:20) It wouldn't give me the idea of like, oh, that's something you can actually do. (12:23) I haven't gotten over that yet.(12:24) I don't know. (12:25) I don't know. (12:26) It probably isn't going to be that.(12:27) But I literally am creating something.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:29) Find your own version of that.

Alan Lazaros

(12:30) I'm working on it. (12:32) And I am literally going to come up with a name, whether it's like the next level generosity project or something. (12:39) And I'm going to track however much money I quote unquote donate or whatever.(12:43) Well, you're going to have to start tracking habits then. (12:46) I know, right? (12:46) That's the problem.(12:47) Well, it's not going to be every day. (12:48) It'll be a little bit easier. (12:49) It'll be whatever, weekly or monthly.(12:50) I am joking, obviously. (12:51) But this is something I'm like very much looking... (12:53) This is something that pushes me.(12:56) This drives me. (12:56) I'm like, I am... (12:58) Now, it's important.(12:59) Here's the thing. (13:00) People aren't necessarily going to understand your responsibilities.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:02) What you should do is take 1% of everything you earn from now on, set it aside and do that. (13:09) I'll talk to my financial advisor about that. (13:11) Okay.(13:12) And then eventually when the snowball gets larger, you can jump it to 2%. (13:17) And so not only are you earning more, but you're also taking more, right? (13:22) So, and that compounds very powerfully.(13:27) I care more about this podcast reaching more people. (13:29) I care more about teaching people. (13:32) I care...(13:32) That's why I gave that speech for free. (13:35) Like I'm going to WPI next week again to do a panel for free. (13:40) But that's what you're supposed to do.(13:42) Yeah, I know.

Alan Lazaros

(13:43) If anything, I've learned...

Kevin Palmieri

(13:44) But I can't only do that, you see? (13:45) No, no, no. (13:46) If I only did free shit, I'd be screwed.(13:48) Yes. (13:48) Which is exactly...

Alan Lazaros

(13:49) Yeah, I got to make sure if I'm giving away money and my family and I are struggling, that's not necessarily a good... (13:54) That's not ideal. (13:55) That's not sustainable.(13:56) It has to be sustainable. (13:57) I saw a quote today. (13:58) It's not about what you can give away once.(14:00) It's about what you can give away sustainably. (14:02) Love that. (14:03) It's called intelligent generosity.(14:05) Yeah. (14:05) We should do an episode on that at some point. (14:06) I think we could do an episode on that at some point.(14:08) The point of this is choice versus responsibility. (14:10) I don't really feel like I have a choice. (14:13) And I feel like it's a responsibility.(14:16) I've always wanted to do this. (14:19) And I think more and more I get the opportunity to. (14:22) Yeah, I feel pulled and I feel called.(14:25) And I think that's why at times you're not going to... (14:27) People aren't going to understand it because it's invisible and it doesn't make any sense. (14:32) Logically, I'm going to have less money than Alan because I'm not going to do what Alan does with his money.(14:38) But what if what I do with my money is better for me it would be if Alan did what I do with my money, right? (14:43) So that's... (14:44) Yeah, it's an interesting perspective.(14:46) That's my thought.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:48) Last piece. (14:49) Yes. (14:50) Responsibility versus choice.(14:52) This is kind of like destiny versus free will a little bit. (14:56) Free Willy? (14:58) No, but shout out.(15:01) OG movies. (15:02) Makes me sad now in retrospect because it's like... (15:05) I watched Sandlot last night.(15:06) Those poor whales. (15:07) You've seen Sandlot? (15:08) Of course.(15:09) Yeah. (15:10) Killing me, Smalls. (15:11) Killing me, Smalls.(15:12) Yeah. (15:12) What an interesting movie. (15:15) Anyways, what was I saying?(15:17) Responsibility and choice is kind of like destiny versus free will. (15:22) Did I choose this mission or did it choose me? (15:24) Can it be both?(15:27) Try your best. (15:28) Back to the spiritual episode we did three episodes ago. (15:31) Try your best.(15:34) The way I see it and I'm going to analyze Kev for a second for the listener. (15:38) Little Kevin had pain associated with something with money. (15:45) I'm not sure which.(15:46) It is what it is. (15:48) And little Kevin looked up to mom and Mima being so generous. (15:52) Okay.(15:53) So good, bad, all of it. (15:55) Boom. (15:55) Money's the thing for Kev.(15:56) He's talked about that in the past. (15:59) Highest self Kev is trying to be the hero for little Kev. (16:05) Mm-hmm.(16:06) And I think that every person out there watching or listening can integrate turning your pain into transformation through becoming your own hero and then becoming other people's hero in the way they need you. (16:23) And I think that that's where purpose and passion and profit really work. (16:28) Last piece.(16:31) Remember when Evan said this? (16:33) Money can't be your first motivation, but it definitely can't be your 10th. (16:37) I agree with that 100%.(16:40) It can't be first. (16:41) We can't just do this for money. (16:43) If it was just for money, we wouldn't be here at 648 on a Thursday when Kevin's been up since five.(16:49) Because we're not making any money in this episode necessarily. (16:52) It's indirect and all that stuff. (16:53) But we're growing the company.(16:55) We're growing the impact. (16:55) We're growing the generosity. (16:57) We're growing the company, which then is generous with the charities, all the stuff.(17:00) This is the vehicle that allows everything else to happen. (17:04) I agree with what Evan Carmichael said. (17:06) He said money can't be first, but it definitely can't be 10th.(17:09) One of the best things I've ever heard. (17:12) If money is not top three. (17:15) So for me, it's mastery, impact, and then money.(17:19) For Kevin, it's impact, then money. (17:22) Money with impact. (17:23) Impact with money.(17:24) And then mastery. (17:25) Figure out what it is for you. (17:27) Mastery, impact, money.(17:29) What is your syntax? (17:30) And then that will help you design a life that's firing on all cylinders.

Alan Lazaros

(17:37) And the point in this is, what is the thing that you feel like you have responsibility? (17:40) Maybe it's, I have to be the best parent ever. (17:42) I have to do this.(17:43) That's what you got to go all in on. (17:45) Nice. (17:45) And try to surround your life with that as much as possible.(17:50) Again, easier said than done. (17:51) All right. (17:52) As always, we love you.(17:53) We appreciate you. (17:53) Grateful for each and every one of you. (17:54) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here to help you get there.(18:01) Keep reaching for your full potential. (18:03) Next level nation. (18:04) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(18:08) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:11) We mean it when we say family. (18:13) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (18:16) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(18:20) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.