You Can’t Win Without Losing (2244)

In today’s punchy episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros break down the truth behind growth, that every new level demands new problems. From failed fixes to unexpected lessons, they show why mistakes aren’t the enemy, but they’re the price of mastery. This is about the messy, unfiltered reality of progress, where the only real failure is never trying. So if you’ve been playing it safe, avoiding the losses that actually teach you how to win, this one’s your wake-up call. Press play and learn how to turn every “loss” into your greatest leverage.

Episode Reference:
Alan Lazaros - https://drive.google.com/file/d/15_eL61tAfpsLT6ze_7hqeFoNPbqLunqr/view?usp=drive_link

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:40) The lesson hidden in every failure
(4:21) Preparation Vs. Real-life experience
(7:20) Every new level brings new problems
(10:02) The mastery formula: Prep → Rep → Reflect → Perfect
(13:15) Overwhelm, self-esteem, and goal pressure
(15:08) Upcoming masterclass and community call
(18:08) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:40 The lesson hidden in every failure
• 4:21 Preparation Vs. Real-life experience
• 7:20 Every new level brings new problems
• 10:02 The mastery formula: Prep → Rep → Reflect → Perfect
• 13:15 Overwhelm, self-esteem, and goal pressure
• 15:08 Upcoming masterclass and community call
• 18:08 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I can teach you a lot of things, and I can teach you how to do things right, but the one thing I probably can't teach you is how to fix the problems that have not happened yet.

Alan Lazaros

(0:11) The feedback loop is really important. (0:15) People say practice makes perfect, but practice actually makes progress assuming you get feedback along the way. (0:21) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:24) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:26) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:29) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:36) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:42) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:58) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:04) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:10) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2,244, you can't win without losing. (1:18) I'm back from my trip to New Jersey, and let me tell you, a lot of driving, a lot of lessons. (1:26) What do you think about that?(1:27) The first chapter of the book, a lot of driving, a lot of lessons. (1:31) I think it's a good hook. (1:33) It's okay.(1:34) I've had better, for sure. (1:35) I've definitely had better. (1:37) So, the reason I went down to New Jersey is we have clients in New Jersey that wanted, and we kind of spoke to this a little bit, that wanted to set up their own studio, and rather than just trying to figure it out through YouTube videos, they said, you know what?(1:50) We'll pay you to come down. (1:51) We'll put you up in a hotel. (1:52) We want to meet you anyway, because I've never met these clients in person, and you can kind of run us through what to do and help us live produce an episode.(2:00) It's like, cool. (2:01) Love it. (2:02) Back in the studio environment.(2:03) I love that. (2:05) So, we unboxed the stuff. (2:07) I helped them set it up.(2:08) They have a mixer, and they get new mics, and they get a capture card, so they can use their Sony as a webcam, and it's just mayhem. (2:17) And they recorded videos of me talking about what I was doing, walking them through what I was doing. (2:23) Nice.(2:23) And then essentially, we got to the point where I said to Olivia, who is one of the young ladies that works there, I said, now you got to go do it, and then when things get fucked up, which they will, then you'll know how to fix it. (2:43) Because I can teach you how to set everything up, but what I can't really teach you is when this thing happens, this is what that means. (2:51) I can't really teach you that until the thing happens.(2:55) And I think that's a really good example for life, because while we want everything to go really well, so many of the lessons we know are based on lessons we didn't know, unfortunately. (3:08) And as simple as that sounds, that's not breakthrough information. (3:13) If you've ever gotten a flat tire, let's put it this way.(3:17) The first time you got a flat tire, if you didn't know how to fix a flat tire, you learned, maybe. (3:25) And then the next time you got a flat tire, you were able to fix it. (3:27) And I think that's a really good example.(3:30) So many of us out there, the reason we know how to fix a flat tire is because we've gotten one. (3:34) The reason we don't know how to fix a flat tire is because we've never gotten one. (3:37) And I think that's a really good example for success in general.

Alan Lazaros

(3:40) We have a Relationship Talks coaching client who just got engaged and they are having a child and they're setting up the nursery. (3:50) And the man in this relationship has a child from a previous relationship. (3:54) And he was trying to explain to his new fiance that no matter how much you prepare, it's going to go off the rails, like we're going to learn trial by fire.(4:04) And I kind interrupted him. (4:06) I said, yes, and I'm not a parent. (4:08) I understand that.(4:10) But you also need to prepare. (4:12) You can't just, oh, well, you're not going to really know until it happens anyway. (4:16) So I think that you can prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare.(4:21) I'm preparing to be a father long before I'm going to be one. (4:25) But obviously there's going to be a bunch of stuff, a bunch of shit, pun intended, with a baby that you can't anticipate. (4:34) But that doesn't mean you don't try to anticipate as much as possible, right?(4:39) There's the quote of preparing, not failing to prepare is preparing to fail. (4:44) Well, even if you prepare perfectly, you're still going to fail. (4:49) And by fail, what I mean is if you have an optimistic hope for what outcome you want, most likely you're going to fall short of that.(5:00) One of the reasons for, what'd you say? (5:02) Sorry, unfortunately. (5:04) Okay.(5:09) One of the reasons for that is because everything changes no matter what. (5:15) Simple example of this. (5:18) I got a new desktop computer.(5:20) It has been amazing. (5:22) I'm a huge fan. (5:24) I had an audio issue that we didn't anticipate because the computer changed.(5:29) So every time you upgrade to the next level, you have new problems that come with that. (5:34) And sometimes they're old problems that came back.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:39) Isn't that so interesting? (5:40) The reason you have, let's say Alan has more answers in business than most people. (5:46) That's because you failed more and then found the solve for those failures more than most people.(5:52) And that is, I'll speak for myself, it feels terrible in the process. (5:58) I literally said that to somebody today. (6:00) I was like, I've never heard of this issue before.(6:02) This is, I didn't even know this was the thing. (6:05) If this ever happens, what is Alan's audio issue? (6:09) Oh yeah.(6:09) There's like a series of things that had to happen. (6:12) Now you have all those distinctions. (6:13) And now I have, so if a client ever comes to me and says, Hey, I did this thing and this thing and this thing, and this is what's happened.(6:18) I can say, Oh yeah, yeah, no, I know that happened one time. (6:21) And so many, I, so I went, I went down, I was actually like a little bit nervous, honestly, because I was like, did I tell them to order all the right stuff? (6:32) I always have those, those doubts.(6:34) That's just, I just am always like that. (6:37) And all of the equipment they ordered, I don't have, they have a different mixer. (6:42) It's from the same brand, but it's different.(6:43) It's newer. (6:44) The cameras are Sony, but they're not the ones I have. (6:47) Walking in there.(6:48) That must have been like, I hope this goes well.

Alan Lazaros

(6:51) It was nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:51) The lights are lights, but they're different. (6:54) They have stream yards that made it easy. (6:56) But I had this moment where I was like, I know, I know enough to know enough about what's wrong.(7:07) If it's not working, you're going to be the one in the room who knows the most in this situation. (7:12) And you, there's a lot of context that comes from that. (7:15) So one of the things we set the camera up and it was, I was like, this is great.(7:21) This is perfect. (7:22) It doesn't work. (7:24) I was like, okay, okay.

Alan Lazaros

(7:27) This is live with people.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:28) And this is 20 minutes before an interview. (7:31) I was like, okay. (7:33) I said, just give me a minute.(7:37) But I've, I've played with this camera enough to know that when you first try to use your camera as a webcam, it doesn't want to do that. (7:45) So you have to change some settings. (7:46) I changed it.(7:47) It then the lighting was Jeffed. (7:49) So we, we did that. (7:51) This is the truth.(7:52) And I did an episode on, on PGU about this. (7:54) If you're a podcaster, it crosses over nicely with this. (7:58) What does PGU stand for?

Alan Lazaros

(7:59) I want to podcast growth university for the new listeners, podcast growth university. (8:04) I think sometimes we, we have so many amazing listeners that have been listening for so many years. (8:08) Sometimes we forget to provide context.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:10) And I'll go out and say, this is the podcast, the best podcast in the world. (8:14) If you want to be a podcaster, that's well-rounded. (8:17) Uh, that is what I'm, I am designing podcast growth university to create well-rounded podcasters.(8:22) Nice. (8:23) That's the J you want to build skills, deep skills.

Alan Lazaros

(8:25) Here's what I can promise you. (8:27) It's going to be the podcast about podcasting that I promise you is the least full of shit.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:31) Yeah. (8:32) It's, it's pretty boring. (8:34) I bring some energy.(8:35) It's just me. (8:36) So like, you don't get any long tangents or whatever Alan normally brings. (8:40) Just me, just fucking value and comedy.(8:43) That's the only two things. (8:45) What was I saying? (8:47) How PGU is dope.(8:49) It is. (8:49) Thank you. (8:50) I did an episode today about how everything is practice.(8:54) It's always practice. (8:56) The big game is the big game, but it's practice for the next big game in this weird way. (9:01) All the times you and I would pack up our studio and go to somebody's house.(9:08) And then they would say, all right, we're good to record in 15 minutes. (9:11) It's like, yeah, yeah, well we can set this up in 15 minutes that all of that practice and all of those failures just paid off where it was actually easier. (9:21) It was mayhem, but it was easier than I thought.

Alan Lazaros

(9:23) The reason I'm laughing is, do you remember how many times we would have deep intellectual conversations while trying to set up? (9:31) We? (9:31) Yeah, me, my fault.(9:33) Hey I was building rapport.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:34) We would show up and I'd be like, where are we, where are we going? (9:37) And they'd be like, and then Alan would just start talking to them. (9:40) I'd be like, brother, more, more.(9:42) I've got to build rapport. (9:44) Yeah, but you would do that after too. (9:46) Of course.(9:46) I'd be like, brother, help me break down the fucking stuff. (9:49) We got to go. (9:50) Like I'm breaking down everything.(9:51) I feel like I'm, you know, I feel like I'm a hired talent over here. (9:54) What are we doing?

Alan Lazaros

(9:55) But yes. (9:56) But it is hard to set things up and build rapport simultaneously. (10:00) It is.(10:00) It is. (10:01) Very difficult. (10:01) Yeah.(10:02) All right. (10:02) So prep, rep, reflect, perfect is the mastery formula. (10:05) You prepare to do something, you do it, the rep, then you reflect on it and then you improve upon that.(10:13) I'm trying to get in the habit every single day to review. (10:19) I call it pod review on my habit tracker. (10:22) I don't know if I'm going to get a full hour in every day or a full episode in every day, but I'm trying my best to get some sort of a podcast review.(10:28) So we have next level university podcast, growth university and business growth university. (10:32) And then I have the conscious couples podcast and that is it. (10:35) I am done after that.(10:38) Oh my goodness. (10:39) Yeah. (10:39) There's some stuff in the future potentially, but for a long time, for a very years, I'm done.(10:44) Okay. (10:45) I should be at least listening to one of those each day to try to reflect on the tangents and filler words. (10:58) And powerful pauses.(11:00) Did I interrupt Kevin too much? (11:02) Did we stay on theme? (11:03) Did I, I feel like we've gotten a little bit away from the mastery process.(11:07) The quantity quality sweet, a sweet spot is, is off. (11:11) I said that to Amelia last night. (11:13) I said the quality quantity sweet spot.(11:16) And for anyone who doesn't know what that is, it's, it's, you have to have a lot of reps. (11:20) Like you can't go to the gym once a month and expect results, but you can't weight train every single day, either hardcore, cause then you're over training. (11:29) And so you kind of have to find the quality quantity sweet spot.(11:33) If you, if you train too much, the quality takes a hit. (11:36) If you train too little, you basically are just being lazy for lack of better phrasing. (11:41) And so lately it's just been so much output, man, coaching, coaching, coaching, training, podcast, podcast, podcast, coaching, training podcast.(11:51) It's like, I need to do some learning here. (11:52) I need some in, I want some time for input. (11:55) I want to learn, and I want to review the show.(11:57) I want to, I want to get to a place where I can at least once a day, see the work we've done and then come up with improvements, which is part of deep practice.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:09) I understand. (12:10) It's been a, it's been a lot lately. (12:13) It's been a lot lately.(12:15) I told Alan, my, my new wake up time has been 5am lately. (12:18) Unfortunately, I don't want it to be so far this week. (12:21) It's been, it was three 30.(12:23) I got up at 5am on Monday, three 30 on Tuesday, 6am on Wednesday, 5am on Thursday. (12:29) We'll see about tomorrow. (12:29) Tomorrow we'll try to sleep till six tomorrow and I need it.(12:32) But that's not the point of this episode.

Alan Lazaros

(12:35) This might be a me thing, but we have some clients we've worked with in the past that are multimillionaires, very successful, awesome. (12:43) And they had seasons in their past, like what you're going through right now. (12:49) You know who I'm thinking of?(12:50) I'll keep it anonymous, but yeah, she had a time in her life where it was wake up and grind for years and she's become unbelievably successful. (13:01) I do this when I see you now in this season and me too, but you're definitely struggling more than me. (13:07) I've tried my best to take care of myself during this.(13:09) You're more overwhelmed than I am right now, but we're both definitely overwhelmed. (13:15) I see you in your future taking good care of yourself in the gym, getting massages, making sure that you're getting enough sleep, looking good, feeling good, money in the bank, investments, boom. (13:29) And then I picture this struggle bus that we're on right now, this Mario Kart booster season as the only way that was even possible.(13:40) And whenever I see someone in that season where their aura is glowing and they're just winning, they're just fucking winning. (13:48) I always think five years ago, I bet you your life was an absolute fucking struggle.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:53) How's my aura right now?

Alan Lazaros

(13:57) I actually do have a pulse on this. (13:59) It's not what it should be. (14:01) It's under what it normally is.(14:04) Yes. (14:05) And I'm sure that isn't a shock to you. (14:06) We should do an episode on that at some point.(14:08) On your aura?

Kevin Palmieri

(14:10) You don't have to lead that because I'm, I feel like your aura is always higher than mine. (14:16) I try to keep my aura strong and I don't mean my aura ring. (14:21) It seems impossible.(14:22) I don't get it. (14:23) I don't know how to do it. (14:25) I can't sleep in.(14:28) I can't.

Alan Lazaros

(14:32) I do miss when I was coaching you. (14:34) I think that the aura that we're referring to, I know this isn't the point of the episode, but we're going to go on a little tangent for a second. (14:41) The aura is, I think the whole world craves self-esteem.(14:47) Authentic self-esteem, not inflated, fake ego. (14:50) And I think that when you neglect yourself, not you personally, but all of us, when we neglect ourselves, I think our aura is constantly taking a hit. (15:00) You can only let yourself down so, so much.(15:03) And so often there's a photo of me that I, yeah, we'll put it up on YouTube. (15:08) It's I'll send it to the team after this, throw it up, throw it up. (15:12) It's me at my worst.(15:14) I'm I, it's just in my face. (15:15) You can see ego trying to hide the pain. (15:18) I'm 160 pounds, skinny, fat drink too much.(15:20) And too often I'm spread too thin. (15:22) My aura wasn't glowing. (15:25) And I had low self-esteem and I was trying to hide that.(15:29) I had a lot of self-belief, but I had very low self-esteem. (15:32) And the difference between self-belief and self-esteem is self-belief is your ability to achieve something externally. (15:36) Self-esteem is how you feel about you.(15:38) I did not feel good about me. (15:40) And I think that that's what the whole world craves is they just want to feel good about themselves. (15:44) And I was thinking about this earlier.(15:45) I don't think you can buy that. (15:48) I don't think you can, I don't think you can do anything other than build it from within. (15:54) And in group coaching, we have a pyramid of self-worth that talks about how to build self-esteem, invest in yourself, keep the small promises you make yourself X, Y, Z.(16:01) But I would say it's always on my radar. (16:04) Everyone on the team's aura and yours is getting below threshold of what we should like you're, you're suffering for, for us. (16:13) And I appreciate you.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:14) I see you very focused on a goal, like to a detriment probably at this point, that is a whole nother conversation.

Alan Lazaros

(16:21) I'm so grateful you said that because we have a goal that we're trying to hit that is without a question affecting our self-esteem.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:31) For sure. (16:32) Oh, we've talked about that before. (16:33) How, when you set goals, life gets harder because people not necessarily, it's not this cut and dry, but people have leverage over you.(16:42) If I'm selling bananas, that's my job. (16:45) And you know, I'm selling bananas and I have to sell a certain amount. (16:50) You can kind of fucking hustle me a little bit.(16:52) Well, how much is it for a banana? (16:54) 75 cents. (16:55) Um, I was, I was hoping to pay 50.(16:57) Well, I do have to work through 50 of these today, so I'll take 50 cents. (17:00) Yeah. (17:00) You know what?(17:00) Can you do 45? (17:01) I can't do 45. (17:03) That's an episode we should do.(17:04) Bananas? (17:05) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(17:06) I got to do a masterclass in three minutes. (17:07) So let's get you out of here. (17:08) And for any listener, thank you.(17:10) For any listener or viewer out there, the next masterclass will be in a month from today. (17:16) And the link to register will be in the show notes. (17:19) The link might take you to our website and then there's a little form.(17:24) You can DM me on Instagram or you can fill out the form. (17:26) Either way, you're going to get in contact with me, me personally, not AI, not my EA, me. (17:31) And DM me on Instagram or click the link in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:34) And he's talking, it's the first Thursday of every month. (17:36) So not technically a month from today, but the Thursday, because today's Friday. (17:41) First Thursday in December.(17:42) First Thursday.

Alan Lazaros

(17:43) Today's Thursday.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:44) Oh yeah. (17:44) Today's Friday. (17:45) One of these days, you will get this down.(17:48) Maybe. (17:49) I'm going to. (17:50) Also, real quick nostalgia bait for everybody.(17:53) Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs. (17:56) I don't know if you remember bananas in pajamas.

Alan Lazaros

(17:58) Of course I do.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:59) You're welcome.

Alan Lazaros

(17:59) If they were from school, that's the only thing on.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:01) Ah, Jerry Springer, first of all. (18:02) You didn't watch Jerry Springer? (18:03) Of course not.(18:04) Hoping to catch a glimpse of a human nipple? (18:06) What are we doing here? (18:08) As always, we love you.(18:09) We appreciate you. (18:10) We're grateful for each and every one of you. (18:12) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(18:17) Keep reaching for your full potential. (18:19) Next Level Nation. (18:21) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(18:25) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(18:28) We mean it when we say family. (18:30) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (18:33) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(18:37) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.