How Do You Know What You’re Really Capable Of? (2252)

The ceiling you fear is built from yesterday’s beliefs. In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan break down the hidden mechanics of capability, identity, and long-term performance. You’ll learn why most people misjudge what they can become, how past reps shape future ceilings, and why discomfort and discipline remain the only reliable indicators of growth. Step in, question your ceiling, and let the truth recalibrate your path.

Learn more about:
📚 Think deeper, grow faster. Join our “Next Level Book Club”  – Every Saturday –
https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJMkcuiupjIqE9QlkptiKDQykRtKyFB5Jbhc

👥 Grow together, rise higher. Join our Facebook community “Next Level Nation” - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700

_______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:46) How past reps shape identity and belief
(5:00) Possibility Vs. Probability thinking
(7:35) Why self-belief usually lags behind capability
(10:02) The danger of quitting before evidence arrives
(12:53) Discomfort as the real gateway to growth
(15:53) Why status and validation distort success
(18:02) Virtue, vice, and the psychology of self-respect
(21:27) What “pleasure town” teaches about maturity
(23:04) The mirror test and the cost of an unlived life
(24:06) Outgrowing pleasure by going through it
(27:43) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:46 How past reps shape identity and belief
• 5:00 Possibility Vs. Probability thinking
• 7:35 Why self-belief usually lags behind capability
• 10:02 The danger of quitting before evidence arrives
• 12:53 Discomfort as the real gateway to growth
• 15:53 Why status and validation distort success
• 18:02 Virtue, vice, and the psychology of self-respect
• 21:27 What “pleasure town” teaches about maturity
• 23:04 The mirror test and the cost of an unlived life
• 24:06 Outgrowing pleasure by going through it
• 27:43 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Yesterday's episode was the Alan Show. (0:03) Today's episode will be less of the Alan Show. (0:05) I'm kidding because Alan obviously loves maximizing your potential.(0:09) That is what he is here to do on this planet. (0:11) But we'll get a little bit of a different perspective from me today as somebody who I have no idea what I'm capable of and I don't even know how to figure it out. (0:18) So let's see if we can do that together.

Alan Lazaros

(0:20) I think Kev will be a great bridge from me being extreme on this topic to someone who would benefit tremendously from it. (0:28) You have been on this journey for nine years. (0:32) Coming up on nine years in March of 2017 is when this started.(0:37) I'm excited to hear from you.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:38) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:41) I'm your host Kevin Palmieri. (0:42) And I'm your co-host Alan Lazarus.(0:46) At NLU we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:52) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:59) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:14) Self-improvement in your pocket every day from anywhere completely free. (1:21) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:27) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,252. (1:31) How do you really know what you're capable of? (1:34) So I feel like we kind of left yesterday's episode on a cliffhanger because we got off and I literally said to Alan, I don't know if you really can possibly know what you're capable of if you don't have high self-belief.(1:46) Or accurate self-belief. (1:47) Or self-belief that's increasing over time because for most people, myself included, seeing is believing. (1:56) I can only see as far as I can believe.(1:59) And I'm only essentially going to make it as far as I think I can make it in this weird way. (2:04) So this episode shakes me a little bit because I don't know if I have a good answer. (2:10) So much of what I do today, I didn't think I was capable of.(2:13) So I don't know. (2:15) I think it's like a time thing. (2:17) I think when you do something for long enough, it allows you, like in fitness, I can set fitness goals based on the fact that I know what I've been capable of in the past.(2:26) I can set financial goals now based on what I know I'm capable of in the past and relatively short past. (2:33) It's hard to predict the future. (2:35) It's hard to create the future unless you study your past.(2:38) So that's my jumping off point for today's episode.

Alan Lazaros

(2:41) Remember way back when I used to say this in my speeches, the car was invented. (2:51) No, no, no. (2:52) The car was imagined in the mind.(2:55) Everything's built twice, once in the mind, once in reality. (3:00) The car was imagined when there was only horses. (3:04) The airplane was imagined when there was only cars.(3:07) And the space shuttle was imagined when there was only airplanes. (3:10) And I used to say, imagine what we're imagining now. (3:13) I used to not have any idea that no one cares.(3:18) It's not that nobody cares.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:19) I think that's a very inspirational thing. (3:22) I do. (3:23) I think it's inspirational.(3:24) But the question would be, well, why the hell didn't it happen sooner? (3:28) It's because, well, it takes a certain type person to have the vision.

Alan Lazaros

(3:32) Yeah. (3:33) So if you were to make, there's an iPhone, there's an Android, there's other phones, all the phones we grew up with, flip phones, Nokia, all this stuff. (3:45) In your head, you can't just go into the future and say, if I wanted to make Kevin's phone, I don't know how any of the other phones are made.(3:52) I'm sure I could find out. (3:54) No, of course you could. (3:54) But in your head, if you said in the next decade, I'm going to make a new phone that's going to compete with the iPhone.(4:02) What goes on in your brain when you say that? (4:04) I've never thought about that. (4:06) Okay.(4:07) Try.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:08) I would sit down and write out, what are the pros of the iPhone? (4:11) What do I like? (4:12) What do I really like?(4:13) I feel like the battery sucks.

Alan Lazaros

(4:15) You feel like you could do it? (4:17) I feel like it's... (4:18) I'm not saying you're going to make a phone better than the iPhone.(4:19) What I'm saying is, do you think you could create a company where you sell a phone and it's going to be, uh, instead of iPhone, it'll be, it'll be Kevin's blank phone.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:30) Kevphone? (4:31) How much do I have money to start this? (4:33) You have...(4:34) Because I'm going to go find people that are smart.

Alan Lazaros

(4:38) Nice. (4:38) That's my first thing is how much money do I have? (4:40) What's the first thing?(4:40) Okay. (4:41) Before you start strategizing, does your brain go, I could do that if I wanted? (4:44) No.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:45) No. (4:50) Why? (4:52) I don't know if I have the...(4:55) I think for me it's, I don't think I have the pieces yet.

Alan Lazaros

(5:00) But, but if I said, Kevin, in 10 years you're going to squat 450 and you dedicate your whole life to it. (5:07) Are you certain you could do it? (5:08) Yeah.(5:08) Boom. (5:09) Okay. (5:10) What's the difference in those two things?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:12) I have been setting and achieving fitness goals since I was 16, 20 years.

Alan Lazaros

(5:18) So you've already seen it.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:19) Have you ever squatted 450? (5:20) No. (5:21) Most I've ever squatted is 425.(5:23) But I also wasn't, I mean, yeah, if I was dialed, more dialed in, now am I ever going to squat?

Alan Lazaros

(5:31) So by that rationale, if you had built phones for 36 years, you probably would believe it.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:36) I, it's, it's very interesting how the thing that so many people are scared of is like now public speaking, I don't really, I don't really think about it that much. (5:50) Let me reframe that. (5:51) When I give speeches, I think about it, but when I'm, when I go on a podcast, I know a lot of people's biggest fear is meeting somebody new and then having a conversation.(5:59) I don't even think about that part anymore. (6:01) It's just so, but when did that happen? (6:04) Was it the 50th or the 60th or the 75th or the 99th or the 100th?(6:09) I don't know. (6:09) I think that's why it's so hard to know what you're really capable of because you don't really know, at least I don't really know until I start something and then I get feedback and then it's either, oh, that was easier than I thought or that was harder than I thought.

Alan Lazaros

(6:26) I don't, yeah, I don't know. (6:29) Well, this goes back to the reaching the full potential part too, but I wanted to do that exercise with you because I, I am sincerely curious. (6:39) Kevin and I have talked a lot behind the scenes of, I think he tends to be more accurate with what is probable.(6:46) I'm definitely more accurate with what is possible and what's possible is more probable if we can get people to believe in themselves more because I do this. (6:59) I actually think is statistically accurate. (7:01) I think everyone is pretty much more capable than they think unless they're on the delusional end, but I think 90%, I think probably about 10% of the population is delusional and they think they're better than they really are.(7:15) I think a large percentage of people socially pretend that they think they're better than they are just to like protect themselves from seeming not confident. (7:26) But I think the majority of people deep down when they're behind the scenes, when they're alone, and this is based on 11,691 coaching sessions, trainings, and podcasts. (7:35) I'm not just talking.(7:36) And also all my friends, everything I've done growing up, I have a really good memory. (7:40) So I have a lot of data and I think to myself, okay, I bet you most people statistically speaking, when they're alone by themselves, struggle to believe in themselves as much as I think would benefit them. (7:55) Meaning I can think of someone I'm thinking of right now, a friend I grew up with, he's way more capable than he thinks.(8:02) Like I could, if him and I were to sit down together every day for a half hour a day, and we were to go for a walk in the morning every day and just talk about goals and dreams and what to do, what not to do, who to be around, who not to be around. (8:16) He would be not only a multimillionaire, but he would reach his full, he would reach way more of his potential, not his full potential, but way more of his potential. (8:27) But if you take that out of the equation, me out of the equation, it's like, oh, and the desire though, because I, I do think you can unlock desire, but I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:43) I mean, how long have you spent trying to get people who don't want to maximize their potential to try to maximize their potential? (8:49) And then, yeah, they've got, and they got way further than they would have if you didn't. (8:53) That's exactly it.(8:54) So you obviously can catalyze it. (8:56) I know, but what happens when they wake up one day and say like, ah, fuck this, fuck this man, this is too much. (9:03) I don't, then what happens?(9:04) I don't know. (9:04) That's a different conversation.

Alan Lazaros

(9:06) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:06) I mean, you know. (9:08) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(9:10) When, when I say everyone would benefit from, from reaching their full potential and everyone would be, if they were aiming at reaching their full potential would be healthier, wealthier and more in love, statistically speaking. (9:24) March of 2017, you started a podcast called the Hyperconscious Podcast. (9:28) Change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live.(9:32) Thinking about your thinking from that moment until now, which is coming up on nine years in March of 2026 will be nine years, right? (9:41) Yeah. (9:42) 2017 to 2026.(9:43) Yeah. (9:44) So nine years, nine years, you've been working towards your full potential reluctantly at times. (9:52) Talk to us about why you think that's fucking awesome and why, why you do it.(9:56) If it sucks so bad, why even do it? (9:59) Because to me it's better than the alternative, but yeah, you go.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:02) I imagine what happened, what would have happened if I stopped in 2019? (10:07) Like humor me with that for, for a second. (10:10) When I was broke as shit, when I couldn't afford Christmas presents from my now wife, what if I had stopped then?(10:17) Cause it was too hard.

Alan Lazaros

(10:18) You would have told yourself a story that it wasn't possible. (10:23) When in reality it always was, you just fucking quit. (10:27) Yeah, but it was fucking, I mean, Jesus, that was brutal.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:31) I mean, that is like life questioning experiences. (10:37) I, the reason I think it's the best is because we had, you and I had a conversation earlier and I said as humbly as I can say this deep down, I do feel like I'm awesome. (10:47) I do.(10:48) I feel I'm, I'm confident and I'm respectful and I'm, I try to be a really good person and I'm charitable and I want what's best for the world.

Alan Lazaros

(10:58) Seeing you yesterday on the episode was so clear. (11:02) It was, it was nice to see you light up from the inside out.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:07) I think that's the benefit. (11:08) I think the detriment is the only way to get there is to go through all the shit along the way. (11:14) So you're seeing me in a moment.(11:17) You're seeing me in a moment and like, just like I've never, I mean, I have, but not in a long time cause you and I don't spend any time together in person. (11:23) It's been a long time since I've seen you on the floor curled up in the fetal position. (11:28) That happens.(11:29) That happens. (11:30) Those are the moments where it's like, fuck man, is this, what are we doing here? (11:35) You've never seen me curled up in the floor in the fetal position.(11:38) You stick naps in the studio. (11:40) Oh yeah. (11:41) On the yoga mat.

Alan Lazaros

(11:42) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:42) I've seen it. (11:43) I've seen it. (11:44) Maybe not as a direct response to something.(11:46) Like I get to lose my mind. (11:47) I get to lay down. (11:48) But yeah, I mean, I've seen, you know, that only happened once when I smoked.(11:52) Yeah, that's true.

Alan Lazaros

(11:54) That was the fetal position.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:57) Who am I? (11:59) What have I done? (12:00) Okay.(12:00) I think it's incredibly fulfilling and you've, it's so purposeful and you feel like it's way more than just you, which it is. (12:10) It's about way more than just you.

Alan Lazaros

(12:12) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:13) But I, I'm always the guy who, I understand why people don't do it too. (12:17) I understand. (12:19) I, because it's really fucking hard.

Alan Lazaros

(12:21) Isn't it paradoxical and ironic that the thing that's the best in life is the thing that makes life wonderful is through pain. (12:36) I think it's so interesting how that works, right? (12:39) It's like, if you want an easy life, you have to do hard things.(12:41) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:41) Yeah. (12:42) The thing that makes life so amazing is holding off on what makes life amazing because smaller percentage of your, it gets better.

Alan Lazaros

(12:52) That's the hard part. (12:53) Well, it depends what you're optimizing for. (12:55) And this is a great conversation because if you're optimizing for self-esteem and self-respect and self-worth and self-belief, you have to do hard things.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:04) I'm optimizing for success. (13:06) Well-rounded success is what I'm, that's the story I tell myself.

Alan Lazaros

(13:11) I'm not, don't you think success is a by-product of reaching your full potential? (13:15) You and I argued about that recently.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:17) I think if you do it intentionally, I mean, yeah, yes, yes. (13:22) But like, that's what I'm saying is you have to cross a certain chasm to get to quote unquote enlightenment for lack of better phrasing, where you're a level eight out of 10 in health, eight out of 10 in wealth and eight out of 10 in love. (13:36) But the journey to that is fucking terrible.(13:39) Now it's way better. (13:43) So now my struggles are way easier. (13:46) They're harder in certain ways, but again, I'm not worried about paying my bills, which that was the first six years of this journey for Christ's sake.

Alan Lazaros

(13:52) What we talked about earlier about Kevin's phone company, metaphorically, you would have answered very differently in the past. (13:59) I think in the past, socially, you might've said, yeah, no, or yeah. (14:04) You would have joked about it and, or said yes.(14:09) But authentically you are now the person who feels capable of that to the point where you actually started brainstorming with me. (14:20) I think there's a past version of you that would have not even brainstormed. (14:23) You would have been like, no, for sure.(14:25) Absolutely. (14:26) Yeah, for sure. (14:27) I think that's what everyone wants.(14:28) I think that's what real success is, is you wake up in the morning, you are proud of who you've become, and you have enough self-belief and certainty in your own capabilities to achieve what you want in life. (14:45) You have a sense of control over your own life. (14:48) And then you also feel like you are of high value.(14:50) And I think of high value means usually rare. (14:53) And that's unfortunate because I always used to say this and I don't know if it lands anymore, when I was in fitness, I would say, if everyone woke up tomorrow with a six pack, actually imagine that. (15:05) Every human being, 8 billion people on planet earth, I think it's like 8.1 now, has a six pack. (15:11) Boom. (15:12) Now it's not a value. (15:14) It's just like if everyone has a Ferrari, it's not a value anymore.(15:18) All value is contextual based on this sort of made up status driven horseshit. (15:25) And I think that I went down the rabbit hole with a client recently of her family is very vain and status driven. (15:38) And I was trying to help her understand that a lot of that is horseshit.(15:47) I said, well, okay, being better looking, why does that matter? (15:51) We did the whys. (15:53) She's like, well, because people give you more attention.(15:56) It's like, okay, well, why does that matter? (15:58) And we went through it, went through it. (15:59) Like, yeah, obviously being better looking, you have advantages, but you also have disadvantages.(16:05) And why do people want to be good looking? (16:09) Because it gets significance. (16:11) Okay.(16:11) Well, why does that matter? (16:12) It all comes down to resources. (16:14) People who are better looking have more access to more resources.(16:18) It's all primal. (16:20) So reaching your full potential transcends a lot of that shit. (16:24) Like I, you know, what's fucking crazy in 2011, when I saw Chris Hemsworth with his shirt off in Thor, I thought, oh my God, you remember how I looked in 2011?(16:34) Oh my God. (16:35) And now I'm sitting there going, I don't really even care about that. (16:40) And now I obviously not that, but I'm definitely closer to that than I was.(16:45) And so it's so it's such a paradox. (16:47) It's almost like I'm just trying to reach my full potential every day. (16:51) I've exercised every day, 60 minutes a day, at least 30 minutes a day for the last coming up on four years.(16:57) But my focus isn't, I want to be in better shape than Chris Hemsworth so that I can get girls. (17:05) So when you feel insignificant and you're younger, all this horse shit matters. (17:12) And then when you get it, you realize that it doesn't really matter that much.(17:17) And it was never about that anyway. (17:18) So being with Emilia, like my dream growing up was Natalie Portman in Star Wars episode two and pretty much every other movie she was in, let's be real. (17:26) But Emilia is a million times better than that.(17:29) I would never, ever trade. (17:32) Little Alan is like, good for you, bro. (17:34) But man, Alan, it's like, I could never have been with him.(17:39) Like Emilia doesn't want to be with a slug. (17:42) Like I had to become like, imagine if I wasn't reaching my full potential every day, she would never want to be with me. (17:49) So, and you wouldn't be my business partner and our team wouldn't want to work on our team.(17:53) And to me, everything of value in life comes as a by-product of being the best you can be. (17:59) And I just can't come up with any other answer. (18:02) My engineering brain can't come up with a better fucking answer.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:05) It's so hard to explain. (18:07) It's so hard to explain because it's, again, it's, I think anytime you can't point to one thing, that's when things get really hard, you know, cause it's not one thing. (18:19) It's not, well, you read a book.(18:22) Well, no, you read a book because you had to read the book in order to maximize your potential. (18:25) Okay, cool. (18:26) You worked on your temper a lot.(18:28) Well, you didn't work on your temper because you necessarily wanted to work on your temper. (18:31) You worked on your temper and you quit drinking and you stopped watching porn and you don't do this and you don't do that. (18:36) I'm all for it.(18:38) And it's very easy. (18:41) Okay. (18:41) This, this is the part.(18:42) It's very easy to say that after you have Emilia, but when you don't, that's when shit sucks. (18:50) I think that's the problem. (18:51) That's the thing is it seems like you and I now, and maybe it doesn't from the outside.(18:55) I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

(18:56) It seems like we have it, but by that rationale, you're saying I was unfulfilled prior to meeting Emilia. (19:02) I'm not saying that necessarily because everything Kevin just mentioned, quit drinking, no pornography for coming up on five, six years. (19:10) I lost count.(19:11) Not no drinks for seven years that I know is at least seven and basically I've eliminated every vice other than fruity pebbles, which I had this morning. (19:24) Fucking great. (19:25) Huge push day.(19:26) Good PRs. (19:28) Uh, that was more of a joke, but it's also true virtue. (19:34) I do believe everything good comes of virtue and I don't want to make this about me.(19:39) Everyone out there, virtue and vice greed is always a vice. (19:42) You know, compassion's always a virtue. (19:45) The virtue and vice are universal no matter where you come from.(19:50) Arrogance is always a vice.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:52) Yeah, but it's, I feel like your definition and understanding is just different.

Alan Lazaros

(19:58) My understanding might be closer to the understanding. (20:01) I know, but there's a big Delta agreed. (20:05) There's a, there's a big Delta.(20:07) All those things that I quit, I quit to be a better man because I knew that being a better man would mean I have a better life.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:15) How did you know it was worth it and how do that's, that's the, that is the trillion dollar question.

Alan Lazaros

(20:19) How do we get everybody to believe that it would be worth it to maximize their potential that it's better than the alternative that that's, I'm not going to go on some soapbox and say that it's all roses and great and candy and exists. (20:33) I'm going to tell you it's better than the alternative. (20:35) That's the best I've got because the alternative is nihilism.(20:38) The alternative is, I, I, and I told you this and you've had this phase too. (20:44) I, Kevin, after his bodybuilding show, he went on a fuck off phase and I, your, your girlfriend left you. (20:51) You want a bit, you want a bodybuilding show.(20:53) You had suicidal ideation. (20:54) Your girlfriend left you. (20:55) I know this isn't in this order, but you basically were miserable, but you were grinding towards all these things you thought you wanted, right?(21:04) You thought you wanted six, all this stuff. (21:05) You got it all and realized it wasn't it. (21:08) And you went on, remember when you called yourself a tick because you were so big, you were eating donuts every day.(21:14) So basically Kev got, went from like the best in shape he's ever been to, yeah, it was thick, thick, thick, still jacked, but thick, thick. (21:24) And I think that was your F off phase. (21:27) We all need that.(21:28) We all need to go toward pleasure town to realize it's atrociously bad. (21:35) I've been in pleasure town. (21:37) I've had the hottest girls.(21:39) I've had the most money I've had. (21:42) Like pleasure town is fucking terrible. (21:44) I've been in LA.(21:45) I lived in LA. (21:46) I, I partied in LA with celebrities. (21:49) Like I've been to pleasure town and I realized how dark it can be there.(21:55) It's not what you think, but you have to sometimes go in order to realize that, right? (22:01) You find yourself doing drugs in LA and you realize like, this is fucking not it. (22:06) This, this looked cool when I was a kid.(22:09) Lacrosse is a chasm. (22:10) Yeah. (22:10) And then you realize, okay, well this isn't what it's about.(22:13) So what is it about? (22:14) And then you, you, you and I used to say this all the time. (22:16) You don't get to hell.(22:17) Yes. (22:17) Until you go to hell. (22:18) No, you and I went to hell.(22:20) No, you had suicidal ideation on the side of a bed. (22:24) And I had a car accident that was facing mortality and realizing that I didn't put it all on the court. (22:30) And I just made a promise to myself.(22:32) I'm never going back. (22:33) And that doesn't mean I'm perfect. (22:35) It just means I'm never going to like rest on it any and ever again.(22:40) And so that's how you convince people is you go to mortality and you say, like, are you going to be proud of who you were? (22:51) Are you going to know that you did all you could with all you had in this life? (22:58) And if you can't authentically say that, I have a poem up here called man in the glass and it means woman in the glass to mankind.(23:04) And it's, it's a poem that I could read, but I'm not going to, you can look it up man in the glass. (23:09) It's something that I think about all the time is when I look at myself in the mirror every day, can I authentically say you are doing all you can with all you have? (23:19) And if you can't say yes to that question, I think you're, you're probably less fulfilled than you could be.(23:26) And I didn't make this. (23:28) This is not like my opinion. (23:30) This is after 36 years, almost 37 of experimenting in life and coaching and training and mentors and mentees and clients and coaches and acquaintances and friends and partying and not and sobriety and not.(23:42) And it's all just like, Oh, okay. (23:44) So this is a universal truth that applies to all of us, which is a tree will grow as tall as it can. (23:52) A human being can't be fulfilled unless they also try to do that.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:56) I think a really good way to think about it. (23:58) Cause I was thinking as you were explaining that you, I think in order to actually outgrow a pleasure, you have to grow through it. (24:06) So like, I remember when I was traveling, making boatloads of money, I, I've, you've heard me say this a million times.(24:12) I used to have a bunch of situationships and it would just, I would just text somebody, they would come over, they'd sleep over. (24:18) And then the next day it would be like, just empty. (24:21) It's like, I think I'm the worst.(24:22) I think I'm past this, but like, I want to think I'm, I like those moments when you wake up and you're like, well, you're just ashamed. (24:30) Yeah. (24:31) You're just ashamed.(24:32) It's like, I don't, I've deluded myself into thinking this is still cool and whether or not it was ever cool in the first place, that's a different conversation. (24:39) But yeah, that it's like that type of, you know, you hear somebody say like, I went on, I got so fucking hammered this weekend. (24:45) It's like, dude, I been there and I fucking loved it.(24:49) And I don't know if I really want to do it like that anymore or whatever to evolve, whatever it is. (24:54) So, all right.

Alan Lazaros

(24:55) What is maturity? (24:56) I know we've got to go, but this is it. (24:58) This is what, and here's the thing.(25:01) You're absolutely right. (25:02) Imagine if you and I are sitting here, never having drank, never having done drugs, never having slept with anyone like you have to go and experiment in this life to realize that ain't it. (25:14) Because we can tell you all day that that ain't it.(25:17) But until you're partying in LA with a celebrity and you realize you're fucking miserable, you're not going to fully know. (25:27) And I do think that everyone should start with the end in mind and look at their mortality and ask yourself what you want to stand for. (25:36) What do you want to stand for?(25:37) And then you're going to be wildly misunderstood and you're going to be disliked and villainized and you'll inspire a lot of people. (25:45) And no one will tell you that. (25:48) No, but ultimately I think this is the question and just figure out what that is for you.(25:53) But I do agree with you, Kevin. (25:54) You can't just start there. (25:56) You can't just hear this episode and then be like, oh, you have to kind of go through some of those dark times.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:04) I think that's what I was trying to get to. (26:06) Like, okay, here's a good one. (26:08) This is for you out there.(26:10) Tonight, it's a Saturday night. (26:13) You got a lonely night. (26:14) You log on to your favorite pornography website.(26:16) You're not going to feel good about that tomorrow. (26:18) Yeah, no way. (26:20) If you just found it, if tonight's your first night ever finding a porn site, you're going to have the best time of your life.(26:25) It's going to be awesome. (26:27) You're going to be like, holy shit. (26:29) And then however long after you're going to say, holy shit, this is empty.(26:33) Like, what am I doing with my life? (26:35) 100%. (26:36) 100%.(26:37) But if you've never experienced it, you're going to say, nah, you guys are missing something. (26:40) It's like, yeah, no, you kind of got to go. (26:44) I can tell you the ice is thin.(26:45) I can tell you the ice is thin. (26:47) And I can tell you what the ice sounds like when it starts to crack. (26:50) And I can tell you how cold the water is.(26:53) I can't tell you what it's like. (26:55) And I can't tell you that it's going to be the same for you. (26:58) But when you walk on the ice and you start to hear it crack, you're going to feel how cold it is.(27:02) And here's the difference. (27:03) You're going to see how deep the water is. (27:04) I don't know how deep the water is.(27:06) I got out luckily before I found the full depths of the lake. (27:10) But yeah, I think that's a, that's a good way to look at it. (27:12) Yeah.(27:13) Love it. (27:13) This is fire, man. (27:14) I appreciate the conversation.(27:15) A little hyperconscious. (27:16) It's good stuff. (27:18) Style.(27:18) All right. (27:18) If you want to be more hyperconscious slash next level, that's the new branding. (27:22) We have book club every single Saturday, 1230 Eastern time.(27:24) They're reading Rationality by Steven Pinker. (27:26) So if you're listening early in the morning, it's literally in seven hours and these episodes go live at 5am. (27:32) And if you're looking for a group of amazing people, we have a Facebook group, totally free.(27:36) It's private to keep you safe. (27:37) So you don't have to worry about your family, seeing what you post in there. (27:40) It's called Next Level Nation.(27:41) We'll have the link below as well. (27:43) As always, we love you. (27:43) We appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you.(27:46) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there. (27:52) Keep reaching for your full potential.

Alan Lazaros

(27:54) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:56) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (28:00) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(28:02) We mean it when we say family. (28:04) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (28:08) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(28:11) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.