The Framework We ALL Need To Memorize (2259)

Host Kevin and Alan break down why most people never escape the loop that keeps them underperforming, even when they’re capable of far more. They reveal the hidden pattern behind stalled confidence, inconsistent action, and the identity traps that quietly shape your results for years. Through real stories, early speaking failures, and thousands of coaching reps, they show how belief, behavior, and self-awareness interact and why the wrong loop will shrink your entire life without you noticing.

This isn’t motivation. It’s the framework that changed their trajectory and continues to guide high performers who want results that match their potential.

Digital Asset:
Confidence Framework - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1e6VZopl8JamCbS4jr9c0Tncrff5MOm1T/view?usp=drive_link

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

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Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:03) Fear, belief, and the first speaking breakthrough
(4:22) The doom loop: Belief → action → identity
(7:57) Why do most people hide their real self-belief
(11:54) Vulnerability, safety, and honest self-assessment
(16:00) Micro success Vs. Macro success
(18:32) Looking good versus truly getting better
(22:30) The danger of living for the social world
(24:08) Failure as the gateway to real capability
(27:02) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:03 Fear, belief, and the first speaking breakthrough
• 4:22 The doom loop: Belief → action → identity
• 7:57 Why do most people hide their real self-belief
• 11:54 Vulnerability, safety, and honest self-assessment
• 16:00 Micro success Vs. Macro success
• 18:32 Looking good versus truly getting better
• 22:30 The danger of living for the social world
• 24:08 Failure as the gateway to real capability
• 27:02 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) When I look back, there are many frameworks that, or lessons in general, that just don't really seem to apply as much. (0:08) Maybe they're not as valuable. (0:10) I won't say they don't apply as much, but the framework we're going to talk about today I think is locked in stone, something that will apply forever to everybody.

Alan Lazaros

(0:18) Kevin asked me, what is the most powerful framework we've ever taught at Next Level University? (0:24) And after brief discussion, we decided on this one. (0:27) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:30) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:31) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:35) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:41) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:48) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:03) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:10) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:16) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,259, the framework we all need to memorize, myself and Alan included. (1:25) I came up with this framework. (1:26) We're going to get to the episode.(1:27) At some point, Alan's going to try to convince you that he came up with it. (1:29) That's bullshit. (1:30) I came up with this framework.(1:32) My name is signed under it. (1:33) This is my work of art. (1:34) This is my claim to fame.(1:36) This is why I still am here at NLU. (1:39) Go ahead. (1:39) Lies.(1:41) Okay. (1:42) So, this was, what, 2018, probably? (1:46) Mm-hmm.(1:49) You can give context after, but Alan and I decided that we were going to do a speaking event. (1:55) We were going to prepare speeches, and we were going to speak to an audience. (2:00) I remember thinking, I don't know.(2:03) I don't know about this. (2:05) I think this is going to go horribly wrong, and it's going to be terrible, and I'm going to bomb, and everybody's going to laugh at me, and there's no way I'm ever going to be a speaker. (2:14) I ended up doing this speech, and it went really well.(2:16) People actually thought I did a good job. (2:18) I got some claps. (2:19) It was great.(2:21) My wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, which is insane to think of, was there for my first speech, which is awesome. (2:27) I remember we have pictures together, and we literally look like children compared to today, which is also mind-blowing. (2:35) Mind-blowing.

Alan Lazaros

(2:36) Absolutely mind-blowing. (2:37) How many years in since you guys met? (2:41) How many years was that?(2:42) How many years since you met?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:44) Or since you got together? (2:46) Yeah. (2:47) So actually, that must have been 2019, because we got together in 2019.(2:51) So 2019 to today.

Alan Lazaros

(2:55) In October, we just had our six-year anniversary.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:58) Yeah, we're on, I think I'm like a year ahead.

Alan Lazaros

(3:00) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:01) I think I'm on a year ahead, and we've been married for three years. (3:04) What? (3:05) What?(3:06) It doesn't make any sense at all. (3:09) It makes sense, though, why I didn't think I could be a speaker. (3:14) And it's simple, because I had never done it before.(3:17) And here was my thesis in that speech, I believe, but also over however many speeches slash group coaching slash opportunities I've had to talk about this. (3:27) We convince ourselves we can't do something because we're afraid to do it. (3:31) And that literally locks us into this cage of, well, I'm never going to do that.(3:35) A really good example, I had the bachelor party for my buddy Matt earlier this year. (3:44) And one of his buddies, he's like, hey, I'd really like this guy to come. (3:48) Can you shoot him a message?(3:49) And I was like, yeah, of course, man. (3:50) Got you. (3:50) Sent him a message.(3:52) Where are you guys going? (3:53) We're going to South Carolina. (3:55) You guys flying?(3:55) Yeah. (3:56) Can't go, man. (3:58) What do you mean?(3:59) Oh, yeah, no, I don't fly. (4:01) Okay. (4:02) Maybe next time.(4:03) And I understand, I also hate flying. (4:06) That person has convinced themselves that they can't do it. (4:09) Therefore, anything that requires a flight is now off limits to them.(4:15) And I think for a lot of us, we end up getting stuck there, and that's how we live our life. (4:18) So here's the framework. (4:19) The framework, and Alan has it up, and we're going to have it in the show notes, so you'll be able to see it.(4:22) The framework that I quote unquote came up with, for lack of better phrasing in the beginning, was essentially, you don't believe you can do something. (4:30) If you don't believe you can do it, you don't take action on it. (4:34) If you don't take action on it, that reinforces the fact that you can't do it.(4:38) And then you get stuck in that same loop over and over and over. (4:42) So if you've ever wanted to approach somebody attractive in a public place, and you say, I'll do it next time, you literally just got yourself stuck in the doom loop, because you're most likely not going to do it next time. (4:53) Because next time you're going to have the proof that you didn't do it the previous time, and you're going to get stuck.(4:57) But if you inject a little bit of belief, if I come up behind you in the gym and I say, hey, checking that person out over there, I see you, okay, let's get some courage up. (5:07) What's the worst that can happen? (5:08) What is the worst that can happen?(5:09) I've been rejected in the gym. (5:11) It's not that bad. (5:12) It's going to be okay.(5:13) They'll probably appreciate it if you do it respectfully. (5:16) Give you a little kick in the butt, you go do it. (5:18) And even if it doesn't go well, you might leave there and say, you know what?(5:22) I would have regretted not trying. (5:24) I'm grateful I tried. (5:26) So yeah.(5:26) You want to go through the framework?

Alan Lazaros

(5:28) Yeah. (5:30) The confidence conundrum throwback, throwback. (5:33) This is one of the basics.(5:34) This is one of the fundamental foundations of everything we've built.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:37) We were going to name this episode, the framework that started it all, because I think this was the first framework for me, at least I didn't even know what frameworks were. (5:43) This is very honest.

Alan Lazaros

(5:45) This is what we first realized. (5:49) Self-belief is the most important ingredient for success. (5:55) Yes.(5:55) Based on my experiences. (5:57) I had a breakthrough mini aha moment when you were talking. (6:02) I don't know if it's, I don't believe I can do it.(6:07) I think if I do it, I believe something will go horribly wrong. (6:11) Because it's not just the behavior. (6:14) Like obviously you can give a speech, but the outcome of the speech might be, that's fair.(6:19) Getting vegetables thrown at you. (6:21) Yeah. (6:22) So it's almost like you believe that if you take X action, Y horrible thing will happen.(6:30) Yeah. (6:30) And if Y could be completely fabricated.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:33) Well, it's easier to imagine that. (6:36) And it's easiest to imagine, I think the worst case scenario. (6:40) Well, it gets you out of doing it.(6:42) It gets you out of doing it. (6:43) And it oftentimes I think it aligns with our identity. (6:48) My identity for most of my life is I'm a failure.(6:51) Very honestly. (6:52) I mean, we've talked about my various professional endeavors over the years.

Alan Lazaros

(6:57) I think one of the cool things about the compound effect is that we get to reflect on this. (7:01) 100%. (7:02) So can, how weird is it for you to realize that at one point your identity was, I'm a failure?

Kevin Palmieri

(7:08) I think that's why you and I see such different sides of the same journey. (7:14) We were talking about this earlier. (7:15) I don't, I think I'm supposed to feel successful in the process of this.(7:19) I don't think Alan is, I don't think Alan needs to feel successful because you already feel successful as a person and you're fulfilled in what you're doing. (7:26) I think it's different for me.

Alan Lazaros

(7:28) It is different. (7:29) I don't know if your explanation was sound, but it's definitely different.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:32) I don't know what it's like to be you. (7:33) So I don't know how to explain it from your perspective necessarily. (7:35) So I'm, I'm, I am definitely curious to your, to your perspective.(7:39) This whole thing's fucking weird for me. (7:41) It doesn't make any sense. (7:42) I don't get it.(7:43) It's weird. (7:43) I don't get it. (7:45) Like every time I get into my car, it's like this weird moment of like, oh yeah, this is my car.(7:48) Interesting. (7:49) How the fuck did this happen? (7:51) This is insane.(7:52) This is absolute insanity.

Alan Lazaros

(7:54) So I think one, I appreciate the vulnerability and I just had to lock up because a lot of people who are achievers would, would find that. (8:05) Yeah. (8:06) Cute, I guess.(8:07) And I know that that's not emasculating. (8:11) No, I don't, I don't want it to be a negative thing. (8:14) I think it's really cool that you share things like that because I think a lot of people who don't believe in themselves are too scared to share things like that because I would, I would see if you were in a group of achievers, you would definitely be like, BMW, like what do you fucking do?(8:31) Right. (8:32) I genuinely, and I know that probably sounds mean to people, but like, that's what does it for you. (8:38) Right.(8:38) It's just, that's weird for me. (8:41) I understand. (8:42) I understand.(8:43) No wonder why people like you and I don't typically, no, but think about it. (8:47) Right. (8:47) Dude.(8:48) I, you know, and again, going to be me. (8:54) I could have afforded that when I was fucking 20. (8:56) I know.(8:57) I understand. (8:57) I understand.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:59) So it's just weird to, to, it's just weird. (9:04) I could have afforded it too, if I lived in it. (9:07) I probably could have afforded it back then.(9:09) I think it's a, it's a question of, I think it's a question of value in different things. (9:14) I think that's the thing. (9:15) Cause again, it's, it's so much of it is tied up in our identity.

Alan Lazaros

(9:20) Like I, you feel, uh, disrespected with me saying any of that?

Kevin Palmieri

(9:23) No, no, no. (9:23) I can understand why people would think that.

Alan Lazaros

(9:25) And the other piece of it, you understand my side of it for sure. (9:29) It's unfortunate that people who struggle with self-belief are not allowed to say that.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:34) I kind of understand why they don't say it. (9:36) That's why I say it. (9:37) Cause I want to make it okay.(9:39) I would love for somebody to reach out to me and be like, Oh my God, you think that's successful? (9:43) It's like any day you want to go toe to toe in success. (9:47) Like we can do it.(9:48) Line them up.

Alan Lazaros

(9:49) Line them up. (9:50) What's interesting is now that you're successful, quote unquote, now you have the courage to share that you didn't believe in yourself. (9:58) It's almost that conundrum back to the original point is I don't feel successful enough to admit that I don't believe in myself.(10:05) Yeah. (10:06) But if I don't admit, I don't believe in myself, I'm not going to work on it.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:09) Well, it's not super valuable. (10:10) Like if I'm not at all successful, it's probably not super valuable for me to share that. (10:14) I don't believe in myself because it's like, well, what the fuck?(10:18) So, so why are you telling us that? (10:20) What?

Alan Lazaros

(10:20) You know what I mean? (10:22) Yeah. (10:22) Yeah.(10:22) What percentage of the population? (10:24) I love this conversation. (10:25) What percentage of the population do you think doesn't believe in themselves, but is too scared to share that?

Kevin Palmieri

(10:31) I think it is a massive, I would say probably 80% of people. (10:38) I've had conversations with people behind the scenes. (10:41) I remember I had a conversation with, with a guy wants a stud, just a fucking stud of a human being, smart, good looking, tall, athletic, great with women.(10:54) And we were talking about a girl that he wanted to date. (10:56) He's like, she would never, she would never go for a guy like me. (10:59) I was like, she would, of course she would.(11:01) You're the exact type of guy. (11:03) I was so offended. (11:04) I was so offended because I was like, brother, it's so easy for you.(11:08) Like you don't even understand that you're, but he, he didn't have the belief.

Alan Lazaros

(11:15) He didn't have the belief because it came. (11:17) So how did you know that? (11:18) Cause you would assume he did.(11:20) Was he just really humble in it?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:21) And he was just, he was just very vulnerable. (11:24) And he said, he said at the end of the day, you have to understand it's never been hard for me. (11:30) So I don't, I don't really feel like I have any skills in this.

Alan Lazaros

(11:33) It's just always kind of, you don't learn how to pick up girls from Brad Pitt. (11:37) He doesn't, right. (11:38) He just, yeah, I've been a loser.(11:39) So you can learn it from me, but Kev back to this and we're going to get to the framework in a second. (11:45) It is in the show notes, by the way, but I think that this is a value tremendously because the root of success is self-belief. (11:54) If you don't believe in your ability to achieve, you're not going to, you're just not going to try.(12:01) And as someone who felt like I, things were very much within my capabilities. (12:07) There's very little that I don't feel like I could do if I dedicated my life to it. (12:11) I don't even understand because most people around me act like they have high self-belief.(12:18) And I'm wondering to myself, that guy, was he vulnerable because you were vulnerable first, or he somehow sensed that it was safe to be vulnerable? (12:27) Probably the second one. (12:28) Whereas if he was around someone who does believe in themself or, or has achieved a lot, would he be able to be that honest?(12:36) I don't know. (12:36) Yeah. (12:36) That's a rough, that's hard.(12:38) It depends on the person. (12:39) It depends on the person. (12:40) If there's any listeners out there who really struggle with self-belief, like Kevin, isn't just saying this.(12:46) I was there. (12:47) He, he really did have trouble with that first speech.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:50) Yeah, for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(12:51) And he's now become very successful. (12:54) Statistically speaking, top 1% of 1% of 1% of podcasters reach out to him on Instagram, DM him and just say, Hey, I'm where you used to be. (13:04) I don't believe in myself.(13:06) I had someone reach out recently paragraphs and paragraphs. (13:08) I still got to get back to you, but he's just like, you've changed my life. (13:11) All this.(13:11) It's been, we, we, we want to connect with you for sure. (13:15) And I think that back when we were seen as less next level, quote unquote, there was more people reaching out, being vulnerable. (13:27) And I hope that we can recultivate some of that.(13:30) I know I've dialed up my intensity, so I'm sure that's not helping. (13:34) I understand.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:34) You don't, nobody wants to share their, their deep insecurities. (13:40) It's hard. (13:41) It's hard to share your deep insecurities.(13:42) And is it harder with someone who's winning or I think it's harder with someone. (13:47) I think it's harder with someone you don't think will understand. (13:51) You don't reach out to Kevin.(13:53) I, that would be my thought is who would you, who would you feel more comfortable reaching out to? (13:56) That's a great place to start. (13:57) Because if you, if you would feel more comfortable reaching out to Allen than me, you probably have higher self-belief than you think potentially.

Alan Lazaros

(14:04) And if you, if you feel like most of your pain and failure came from people hurting you or being hurt or judged or villainized or talked bad about, or you feel like people don't want to see you win that's reach out to me. (14:20) I got you. (14:21) But if you feel like you struggle with self-belief Kevs, we have a framework on how to build it.(14:27) We've been teaching it for a year. (14:28) We have 20 groups of group coaching for the first 17 groups, 16 groups. (14:32) We taught how to start with self-belief and set goals.(14:36) And yeah, that's like, seriously, next level you, it doesn't have to be crazy big dreams anymore. (14:41) You start small, just like Kev did. (14:43) Okay.(14:44) So I'm going to get to the framework here. (14:45) Cause we've got six minutes on the clock. (14:47) So the left one is what I call micro success for macro failure.(14:51) This is the more complex version of what Kev originally talked about. (14:58) It starts with no belief. (14:59) So you don't believe in yourself.(15:01) So you don't try when you don't try you, you stay safe. (15:05) You don't fail. (15:07) So you don't get any pain when you don't get pain.(15:10) You don't contemplate. (15:12) And when you don't contemplate, you don't get new distinctions, new awareness, and we don't get new awareness. (15:16) You don't make better choices.(15:17) And if you don't make better choices, you don't get better results. (15:21) This, the, the manifestation for lack of better phrasing of this doom loop is the person who goes to the gym with the best gym outfit, the best shoes, the best shirts, yoga pants, whatever it is. (15:36) And, and they lift weights that are very, very easy to lift.(15:42) They want to look good more than they want to get better. (15:45) Hmm. (15:46) So they focus on looking good over getting better.(15:51) That's micro success, meaning you get to look good, but at the expense of your growth and actually getting better. (15:57) All right. (15:57) Now the opposite is macro failure for macro success.(16:00) This is what we've been doing for 2,259 episodes. (16:07) So we have belief in ourselves. (16:09) So we try every single time we do something wrong.(16:13) We say something wrong. (16:15) We say a filler word, whatever we fail in some way. (16:18) It doesn't go perfectly.(16:19) Nothing ever does. (16:20) So we get pain. (16:22) The pain is okay.(16:25) I got to swear a little less. (16:27) Kids are listening. (16:28) I'm going to have kids.(16:29) I'm going to have to. (16:29) All right. (16:30) So I'm going to contemplate.(16:31) Okay. (16:31) How would I swear less? (16:32) I want to say it with my chest.(16:33) I want to be intense. (16:34) I want to be taken seriously, but I don't know if I want to swear as much. (16:37) Okay.(16:37) Boom. (16:37) All right. (16:38) New awareness.(16:39) So when you contemplate what went wrong there, okay. (16:41) The audio quality wasn't great. (16:43) Okay.(16:43) My mic is popping because we don't have the foam on it anymore. (16:47) Okay. (16:47) We need new microphones, new camera.(16:49) Okay. (16:49) My camera's doing this weird thing. (16:51) New awareness, new awareness, new awareness, which just is distinctions.(16:55) So Kevin's camera just did it. (16:58) It just did it.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:00) We don't know why. (17:02) We just don't know why. (17:03) But then again, I don't know what it looks like on the other recording.(17:05) I don't know. (17:07) All right.

Alan Lazaros

(17:09) So failure leads to pain and frustration, which then we contemplate. (17:14) I wonder why Kevin's camera just changed. (17:16) And then we get new distinctions, hopefully, assuming we have time to actually unpack that.(17:20) When you get new distinctions, you make better choices. (17:23) When you make better choices, you get better results. (17:25) And the keyword is eventually.(17:26) It's written in the digital asset eventually. (17:28) And I'm going through this right here. (17:30) It's in the show notes.(17:30) Please download it. (17:31) It's totally free. (17:33) If you find yourself in the doom loop, it means in its simplest form, you are trying to look good at the expense of actually getting better.(17:44) The other one is you don't really care how you look. (17:46) You're struggling in the gym to get the weight up, but you actually are challenged so that you leave the gym and the next day you get stronger. (17:57) One of my biggest challenges in life is I look like a fucking loser.(18:01) I'm kidding. (18:02) But I look like I'm losing in the gym because I'm always past what I can currently do. (18:09) So I put 205 on and I went for five and Emilia was recording it and I was sitting there going, I look so weak.(18:16) But what no one knows is I already did five sets of close grip, five sets of flies. (18:24) It's not like I set up the camera for the one perfect moment of my lift. (18:29) Every lift, I'm trying to push it as hard as possible.(18:32) So I look weaker than I actually am. (18:35) And so people assume you're weaker than you actually are. (18:38) But I don't really care as much as I care about actually getting better.(18:41) So I only got four out of five. (18:43) Emilia said, good thing you didn't go for five because I was not going to be able to lift that. (18:49) And the video sucks.(18:51) I'm like, struggling. (18:53) And the video is unusable. (18:55) If I'm doing it for any sort of status or perception.(18:58) The point I'm making though is in my gym, people probably have no concept whatsoever of how strong I actually am because I feel like I'm struggling on every set. (19:08) And if my focus instead was to look good, I would just do easy weight that makes it look easy. (19:13) Because for some reason, making something look easy is a status build.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:17) I have a great example for this.

Alan Lazaros

(19:18) Talk to me.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:19) You're not going to like it because it involves golf, but that's all I do. (19:22) You got to do what you got to do. (19:23) So in golf, there's, let's say, and you might know this because you played back in the day or you worked at a golf course.(19:30) If you get it within like three, four feet of the cup. (19:33) So if you're playing with somebody, they might say like, all right, I'll give you that. (19:36) You don't have to put it in.(19:38) Right. (19:40) You play with certain people and I play with a kid. (19:45) If you're listening, I mean this with love.(19:46) So don't take it as disrespect, but he'll be like, you want to give me that? (19:50) And I always say, dude, I, you can take whatever you want. (19:53) I don't give a shit.(19:54) You're just not going to get any better. (19:55) If you, if you always pick the ball up, like I don't care, do whatever you want. (19:59) I want to put every single one.(20:01) I went golf on a couple of weekends ago. (20:03) Okay. (20:03) And this again, if you're out there and you don't like golf, I'm sorry.(20:07) I have no hobbies and this is my only hobby. (20:09) Okay. (20:09) Please give me some fucking slack.(20:12) We're playing on it. (20:13) We're playing a hole. (20:14) I went with my brother-in-law and his friend and we were having a blast.(20:20) We get to this hole and they both hit it within like 10 feet of the pin. (20:24) And I was like, there's no way I hit it within like three feet of the pin. (20:27) Best shot I've ever had.(20:29) And Tim, the Terran's younger second youngest brother, he's like, I'll give you that. (20:36) You don't have to put it. (20:37) And I said, I can't not put it.(20:38) I have to put it because I can't, because I can't say I got a birdie on this hole. (20:43) If I don't fucking put it in, I have to put it in. (20:44) Not to mention how many times have you been four feet away and you swung it right around the day?(20:49) This, this, this was the time I missed.

Alan Lazaros

(20:50) Really?

Kevin Palmieri

(20:51) Yeah. (20:51) But I'd rather have missed it and be able to tell the story than say I, because it, it, all it does is screw your own perception of yourself. (20:59) Nobody cares.(21:00) This is going to affect anybody else. (21:02) Next time I go out there, I'm going to know that I'm a fucking cheater.

Alan Lazaros

(21:04) A lot of people, they would prefer the perception than the reality. (21:09) And I think, yeah, I understand.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:12) Perception only gets you so far though. (21:14) When you put your head down on the pillow at night, you have zero perception left. (21:17) You've used it all up.(21:18) You've got none left. (21:20) And that's when it matters.

Alan Lazaros

(21:22) Last piece. (21:23) Yes. (21:23) We'll get out of here.(21:26) I think that when you use perception and status, you then end up having to hide. (21:34) And again, I understand 100%. (21:38) I had a client, she's like, you guys have it so easy.(21:41) You don't have to wear makeup. (21:42) The standard isn't ridiculous. (21:45) And what I tried to explain is if you learn how to look healthy and vibrant and really attractive without any makeup, then imagine how good it's going to look when you actually doll up at a wedding or something.(21:57) And then people are gonna be like, oh my goodness, instead of the opposite, which is your social media makes you look like a 22 out of 10. (22:05) And then all of a sudden in person, it's like, oh, that's, that doesn't even look like the same person. (22:09) My point is not the makeup or any of that plastic.(22:12) None of that. (22:13) That's not what I'm talking about. (22:13) What I am talking about is if you don't actually get good at speaking now, all of a sudden, when you're with a group of speakers, you're like, hey, I gotta, I gotta read from a script.(22:23) If you don't develop real skills in the real world, and you're relying on perception for everything. (22:30) Now, all of a sudden, when you're thrown into the ring, unannounced in life, metaphorically, now, all of a sudden you have to hide. (22:38) You have to hide.(22:39) And I think that hiding, I would rather actually be athletic than just take good gym videos. (22:50) And that's a choice we all have to make. (22:51) I've said it a million times, you have to choose between the social world and the real world.(22:57) The real world is how strong you actually are, how athletic you actually are, how good you actually look. (23:03) And the social world is your Instagram and your Facebook and your LinkedIn and your TikTok and your makeup and your status. (23:09) And the real world is the marriage.(23:12) The social world is the wedding photos. (23:15) Trust me, I'm gonna have beautiful wedding photos too. (23:18) But that's not the focus.(23:20) The focus is on my marriage, my future marriage. (23:24) And I think that if you get the syntax wrong on that, you're in so much trouble. (23:29) And then you have to hide.(23:31) Because if Kevin pretends to believe in himself all the time, and then all of a sudden an opportunity comes, and he pretends to be super smart and super competent and a strong speaker and really confident. (23:41) Now, all of a sudden, someone calls him out, hey, you know, you want to do a speech? (23:47) All of a sudden, he has to say no, and he has to hide because he's too scared to actually do it because he's been hiding.(23:52) So I don't want your world to get smaller, I want your world to get bigger. (23:55) And it starts with self-belief and failure. (23:58) And I think it's ironic that the most successful people among us in real life are the ones who are willing to fail the most in order to succeed.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:08) I watched something real quick, and then I watched a live stream of T-Pain creating a song. (24:16) And what a lot of artists do, they do something called punch-in, where you don't like write a script, you just listen to it, and you just like let your mind go. (24:23) And you record like 10 seconds, and then you listen to it and record after that.(24:28) And it took him 50 times probably to record this. (24:33) And he messed up the same line like five times in a row, and he took a second and did it again. (24:36) And that's the process.(24:37) Like you literally just mess up until you get it right. (24:40) That's how most people write songs now, or at least rappers at least.

Alan Lazaros

(24:44) We said last piece, but I also want to share this. (24:47) A lot of people use scripts for their podcasts, for their YouTube channels, all that kind of stuff. (24:53) All good if that's where you want to start, I totally get it.(24:57) Kevin and I, from the very beginning of our journey, we were like, no scripts. (25:01) We have bullet points, hook story, lesson, future pace, that kind of thing, topic, okay, story, but no scripts. (25:09) You and I have never done a script.(25:11) No, never. (25:15) Why? (25:15) Because I wanted to be able to be interviewed on stage, live.(25:21) Interview me, whatever you want. (25:22) We've interviewed people on stage, and they're like, hey, can I get the questions in advance? (25:26) No, no.(25:28) I want to actually interview you as a real person. (25:31) And we've witnessed this happen where someone couldn't answer our questions because they were so used to having scripts for everything. (25:40) And I just, again, you have to hide.(25:43) She was very triggered that day. (25:44) I understand why, because she's like, oh crap, I need to get good at this. (25:48) That was an opportunity that was beyond my skill set.(25:52) And I want my skill set to always be better than the opportunity. (25:56) And the only way to do that is to fail behind the scenes over and over and over and over again, ironically. (26:01) It's a weird paradox.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:02) Well, you know, when you stay ready, I hate to be the one to have to stay, but when you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. (26:08) That's what that saying is, baby. (26:10) It's fine.(26:12) That's what that saying is. (26:13) All right. (26:13) If you're looking to get to the next level in life, love, health, wealth, success, especially success in all of those buckets, make sure you join our private Facebook group, Next Level Nation.(26:24) And every single Saturday, 1230 Eastern time, we have the Next Level Book Club. (26:28) What are we reading?

Alan Lazaros

(26:30) Rationality by Steven Pinker. (26:31) There you go. (26:32) Chapter seven.(26:33) And in the world that is becoming more irrational with the internet, 21st century AI, all this stuff going on, rationality can be something that will be super helpful for you to make effective choices. (26:46) And you can think long-term and think logically rather than emotionally. (26:51) Most of our decisions that are really, really not good for us long-term are very emotional, short-term driven, pleasure-driven things.(26:58) This book will help you reorient towards success.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:02) Towards success always. (27:03) As always, we love you. (27:04) We appreciate you.(27:05) Grateful for each and every one of you. (27:06) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(27:12) Keep reaching for your full potential. (27:14) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:16) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (27:20) We love connecting with Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(27:23) We mean it when we say family. (27:25) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (27:28) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(27:32) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.