What Comes First, Awareness Or Belief? (2261)

What if the foundation of long-term success is something you’ve never actually questioned?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan break down one of the most important questions in personal development: Does deeper awareness create real confidence, or does belief come first? After thousands of episodes and years of coaching experience, they land on an answer that reshapes how you grow, how you set goals, and how you build long-term success.

If you’ve ever felt caught between wanting more and doubting your ability to reach it, this is the conversation that finally brings clarity.

Learn more about:
Your first 30-minute “Business Breakthrough Session” call with Alan is FREE. This call is designed to help you identify bottlenecks and build a clear plan for your next level. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

Ready to level up your podcast? Your first 30-minute “Podcast Breakthrough Session” call with Kevin is FREE - https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:29) How certainty is actually calculated
(7:04) When too much information destroys confidence
(11:32) Desire, readiness, and the truth about taking action
(14:20) From drifting to intentional living
(16:21) Can desire override logic?
(18:36) The “readiness score” for real-world decision-making
(19:54) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 3:29 How certainty is actually calculated
• 7:04 When too much information destroys confidence
• 11:32 Desire, readiness, and the truth about taking action
• 14:20 From drifting to intentional living
• 16:21 Can desire override logic?
• 18:36 The “readiness score” for real-world decision-making
• 19:54 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Today's episode is a conversation that Alan and I never agreed on, could never agree on. (0:06) We were on opposite sides of the coin, opposite side of the spectrum. (0:08) Today, I think we actually freaking agree.

Alan Lazaros

(0:12) What comes first, self-belief or deeper understanding? (0:18) We're not sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:19) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:22) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:24) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:27) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:34) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:40) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:56) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:03) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:08) Nice sublimation today for episode number 2,261. (1:12) What comes first, awareness or belief? (1:17) All right, you wanted to do this episode, I think.

Alan Lazaros

(1:20) Yeah. (1:22) Why? (1:23) Because last night I was having an existential crisis.(1:25) I couldn't sleep. (1:28) And as a young lad, I had many heroes and people I looked up to. (1:34) And I was always looking for inspiring people who accomplished great things in the world.(1:40) And that was what got me through some of the tough times. (1:43) And now I'm realizing I can no longer pull, I can never, I can no longer do that the same way I used to because I have to grow the fuck up. (1:50) No, but I'm a grown man now.(1:52) And from a 37 year old lens, a lot of the people that as a kid I saw were alarmingly not character driven human beings, particularly men. (2:04) So always looking for a male role model, didn't have a dad, here we are, I'm going to be the male role model. (2:08) That's what we're doing.(2:10) But the reason we're doing this episode is because I was journaling last night while listening to books, because when I can't sleep, that's what I do. (2:16) And I have this huge growth loop and ignorance loop, success loop, doom loop. (2:21) If you're an NLU listener, you know about this stuff.(2:24) But the confidence conundrum, the framework that we unpacked two episodes ago, what comes first, awareness or self-belief? (2:36) And I think we finally agree after 2260 plus episodes, Kevin and I agree that awareness comes first. (2:50) Now here's the conundrum and here's the problem.(2:55) You're not going to seek awareness unless you have a goal and you're not going to have a goal unless you seek belief, unless you almost have to kind of hit you without you intentionally getting it in a way, which is probably why I'm always force feeding awareness unconsciously. (3:14) Because if Kevin actually knew, so everything we've accomplished, I always knew was possible. (3:22) Genuinely, you found it hard to believe in the beginning.(3:27) Still some things. (3:29) Awesome. (3:29) Okay.(3:29) So what if I just had higher awareness and this is what I always do with clients and I'm going to do this with everybody. (3:34) I was with a client. (3:37) This had to be a couple of years ago now.(3:41) Yeah. (3:43) The client's probably listening up. (3:45) Shout out to you.(3:46) I said, okay, how certain are you zero to 10 that you can get subway for dinner tonight? (3:51) She says 10 out of 10. (3:53) I say, awesome.(3:54) Awesome. (3:55) Your brain did a calculation. (3:58) I know I have a credit card.(4:00) I know it will work. (4:01) I know there's a subway sandwich shop five minutes away. (4:05) I know my car will work.(4:07) I know that I know how to drive. (4:08) I know there are roads. (4:10) I know that they're open.(4:12) I know, I know. (4:13) It's a calculation. (4:14) I am certain I can get subway for dinner.(4:16) Awesome. (4:18) The same thing is true when I say, how certain are you from zero to 10 that you can be a successful podcaster? (4:25) It's the exact same calculation, but you just don't know the pieces.(4:33) And I said this to her and this is the kicker. (4:35) I said, okay, zero to 10. (4:37) How certain are you?(4:38) You can get subway for dinner tonight in the next 15 minutes and finish the sub. (4:43) She's like zero out of 10. (4:46) I said, I know how to build a million dollar business, multimillion dollar business, but I can't do it next year.(4:55) Just like you can't get subway in the next 15 minutes. (4:58) It's an actual equation. (5:00) Success is an actual equation.(5:02) When we're two years old, we don't have any self-belief because we don't know anything. (5:07) If you knew exactly how to build a phone and exactly how to build a company and exactly how to market it and exactly the distribution channels and exactly manufacturing and exact, the more, you know, knowledge is actually power. (5:18) It's potential power because some people don't use it, but the truth is knowledge and belief are absolutely connected.(5:25) It's very hard to know what is possible for you. (5:29) And then to sit on the couch eating Cheetos, it's very hard. (5:34) And the more belief you have, Kev, the harder it would be to kind of squander your dreams.(5:39) That still doesn't land for me. (5:43) Ready? (5:44) Yeah.(5:44) Let's take away. (5:45) So you zero to 10. (5:46) How certain are you?(5:47) You can be a successful podcaster. (5:48) 10. (5:49) All right.(5:50) Now this is hypothetical, so no one freak out. (5:54) This is not going to happen. (5:55) This is totally hypothetical.(5:57) Imagine Kevin gets in a golfing accident and someone hits a golf ball into his head and he somehow gets concussed and he doesn't know anything about podcasting. (6:07) He doesn't know even his own name. (6:10) He no longer knows how to build a business.(6:12) He forgets everything I've taught him. (6:14) He no longer is allowed to coach with me. (6:17) He no longer knows his wife's name.(6:20) He no longer knows how to podcast. (6:23) You take away all your knowledge. (6:25) Everything you've learned over the last coming up on nine years in March, March of 2026 will be nine goddamn years.(6:32) The reason I'm saying goddamn is because Kev is like, well, technically it's 8.5. Listen, I'm rounding up. (6:36) The point is everything you've learned in the last nine years about podcasting, podcasting success, business, the global marketplace, all of it, branding, marketing, sales, client delivery, all this stuff gone, all gone. (6:47) How much do you believe now?(6:48) Zero to 10, you can be a successful podcaster. (6:50) Zero. (6:51) That's my point.(6:53) I know that knowledge is the answer, but no one else seems to give a shit. (6:58) That's why I'm always trying to teach things because you won't believe in yourself if you don't actually see what I see.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:04) I think, permission to call you out publicly? (7:08) Of course. (7:09) I think you try to give too much knowledge too quick.(7:13) Agreed. (7:13) A hundred percent. (7:14) Which actually hurts belief instead of builds it.(7:17) Yeah, absolutely. (7:17) That's a breakthrough for me in real time.

Alan Lazaros

(7:19) We are in full agreement.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:23) Too much is, yeah, because there's a difference between saying like, geez, if you've never mowed the lawn before, you're like, okay, this is how you start the lawnmower. (7:34) You can make sure there's gas in there, blah, blah, blah. (7:36) Don't say to somebody so when I want you to make a fucking star in the middle of the lawn, and the only way to do that is to go back and forth and you have to go at a 45 degree angle, but you have to tilt the mower a little bit too, so it's only on two.(7:50) Not a chance. (7:51) Not a chance. (7:52) There's no way.(7:53) There's too many- There's something called dorsal collapse.

Alan Lazaros

(7:55) There's three states, ventral vagal, sympathetic, and then dorsal collapse. (8:03) Dorsal collapse is fight or flight. (8:06) And basically what I do is I overwhelm people unintentionally and then they go past their trauma window intellectually, cognitively, and then they do dorsal collapse and then they just nod and pretend to hear what I'm saying.(8:16) Okay. (8:17) He's doing it right now.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:18) No, no. (8:19) But I have a client who we've had that conversation and I was like, just tell me a story and I'll tell you when you fucking lose me. (8:27) And we're like a minute and a half in and I was like, I'm gone.(8:30) I don't even, I'm fucking gone. (8:32) Like, what are we doing? (8:33) I'm lost.(8:33) I'm gone completely. (8:35) So yes. (8:36) Yeah.(8:36) Yeah. (8:36) So I understand. (8:38) But that's, even that explanation, maybe too much.

Alan Lazaros

(8:43) It could be too much. (8:45) I don't know. (8:45) You know what's true?(8:47) For me, it wouldn't be too much. (8:48) Yes. (8:49) That is true.(8:50) That is true. (8:50) But my attention span is like really strong, apparently. (8:55) I can focus on something for a very long period of time without losing, without being distracted.(9:00) And I think that statistically our attention span is much worse than ever before in history. (9:04) That's why I took talk all stuff. (9:06) Uh, I think that's part of the problem is life is not that simple.(9:11) No. (9:11) If you want to build a business, I need, I need a year or two to teach you.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:15) Even the subway example is you've probably gone to subway with your parents before. (9:19) So, you know, right?

Alan Lazaros

(9:21) Like you've been driving a car for years. (9:23) It's the compound effect. (9:24) If I, if you were seven and I said, Hey, how certain are you?(9:27) You can get subway for dinner tonight. (9:28) You'd have to get crafty.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:30) Hey mom.

Alan Lazaros

(9:30) Hey dad. (9:31) Mom, what do we think? (9:32) Yeah.(9:32) What do we think? (9:33) But I think that's the exact same principle. (9:36) Yes.(9:36) Yes. (9:37) So explain it. (9:38) That's why you got to explain it.(9:39) Cause everyone shuts off with me, but it's a business is different.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:44) It has so it is, it has so many more steps and skills. (9:49) I grew up. (9:50) It's the same principle.(9:52) I grew up on Seagrave street, baby. (9:54) Uxbridge, Massachusetts. (9:56) Love it.(9:56) There was a subway on main street, baby. (9:59) Massachusetts. (10:00) Yeah.(10:01) Five minute walk brother. (10:03) Real quick. (10:04) Same principle though.

Alan Lazaros

(10:06) Yeah, but more complicated. (10:10) I would say there's much more distinctions. (10:13) Yeah.(10:13) There's much more distinctions and to, to provide context of what a distinction is, it's, is this a blue pen or is this a blue ballpoint pen from the 1990s? (10:23) That's a gel pen that also has a gel grip. (10:26) Yeah.(10:27) Right. (10:27) And, and the more distinctions you have, the more effective you can be in a given arena. (10:33) And they've done a lot of research on that.(10:34) It's one of the reasons. (10:36) And Kevin and I playfully joke. (10:38) It's like, there are people who actually think we're the same.(10:41) Oh, that's going to sound so bad.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:42) Oh my God. (10:43) There's, there's probably people who think we're equal intelligence. (10:47) If you're watching or listening, we're not, I'm more intelligent.(10:52) I just have to lean into who I am.

Alan Lazaros

(10:54) Um, I remember when, when, when, uh, one of my clients said that they know us both, I remember being like, no, I respect it. (11:01) But the truth is maybe, I mean, what a seven year old really know? (11:05) No.(11:06) And what, what a, what a 20 year old? (11:08) No. (11:09) Okay.(11:09) What a, what a 30 year old?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:11) I don't think the age matters as much as the awareness does.

Alan Lazaros

(11:14) Well, I, well, I, of course, but obviously awareness is grows over age.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:18) Uh, not always. (11:20) It's supposed to. (11:20) It should.(11:21) It's supposed to. (11:22) It doesn't always.

Alan Lazaros

(11:24) Yeah. (11:24) That's fair.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:24) I wasn't super aware as a 28 year old man, 27 year old man. (11:28) So I don't, you know, that's fair, but, but I, I don't know. (11:32) I think that it depends.(11:33) It turns on the person, but okay. (11:35) Good. (11:36) I was going to say to your point, nothing will really happen unless there is a destination, but there won't be a destination unless there is deeper understanding first.

Alan Lazaros

(11:50) I don't know. (11:50) That's where you and I differ. (11:52) It's good.(11:53) It's good. (11:54) Okay. (11:55) This all started for, can't have belief in something until you first understand how to do it.(12:01) I think this is why people get so hoodwinked online because they, they, they make it sound easier than it is. (12:07) So you believe in it and then you realize later after paying 10 grand playfully that, oh, this is not that easy. (12:17) And then you quit.(12:19) I mean, one of the reasons I think I've coached so many people over the years, and I'm so grateful. (12:24) I have tons of clients, so I'm very successful in that. (12:27) But I mean, the amount of clients I've had that have left, I think they realized that what they want is going to take such a bigger equation than they ever could have fathomed.(12:39) So they're like, oh, screw this. (12:41) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:42) I understand because they were probably sold a lie that, that they could build a business easily or whatever. (12:47) Well, because when somebody comes to you and says, this is what I want. (12:50) And you say, cool, this is a, this is the a plus B plus C equals D plan.(12:53) There you go. (12:54) They're like, yeah, that's kind of a lot. (12:58) Yeah, no, it is.(12:59) But that's, that's what you said you wanted. (13:02) If, if you've never gotten that information before, you most likely are blissfully ignorant. (13:07) I didn't want, I didn't think I could be the next biggest podcast in the world.(13:12) I just thought it would be cool too. (13:14) I didn't think I could.

Alan Lazaros

(13:16) It wasn't like my- Is that what you meant by the destination?

Kevin Palmieri

(13:19) Yeah. (13:19) So this is how it worked for me. (13:20) Okay.(13:22) I'll never forget this is for as long as I live, I was in bed watching Joe Rogan. (13:27) Please do not associate. (13:28) I can't actually can't stand Joe Rogan anymore, but please don't associate me with him.(13:30) Yeah. (13:31) Don't associate us with him. (13:32) Anybody.(13:33) Don't associate with anybody. (13:34) You can associate me with Alan and Emilia and Evolve Ventures and my wife and our amazing team. (13:41) Outside of that, I don't know.(13:43) Just don't, just don't. (13:44) We're going to use people as examples, but I don't, I'm not friends with any of them. (13:47) Please.(13:48) Yeah. (13:48) All good. (13:49) I was watching a podcast.(13:51) It was him and Duncan Trussell and they were talking about life and it was philosophical. (13:55) And for the first time ever, I was like, holy shit, this makes sense. (14:00) This makes sense.(14:01) What makes sense? (14:03) Most of us just live a life of just going through the motions every day. (14:10) And I was like, that's me.(14:12) I'm going through the motions every day. (14:14) Whoa, whoa, wait, what? (14:15) And then it was like, they're saying there's another way.(14:20) Interesting. (14:21) Interesting. (14:23) Then you said, hey, I want to interview you on my podcast.(14:27) And I was like, whoa, that's cool. (14:31) You kept putting it off. (14:32) I kept pinging you.(14:33) Hey dude, when are we going to do this? (14:34) When are we going to do this? (14:34) When are we going to do this?(14:36) We ended up doing it. (14:37) That created a new destination. (14:41) I'm going to start a podcast.(14:43) Okay. (14:44) And then from there, I didn't know what to do. (14:47) I just wanted to do it.(14:48) So I don't think it's necessarily, I think there has to be some level of desire.

Alan Lazaros

(14:53) You have to believe.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:53) Yes, there has to be a desire. (14:55) Yeah. (14:55) I think sometimes desire can outweigh belief in the short run.

Alan Lazaros

(15:01) I think your belief was there, but it was based on not knowing how hard it would actually be.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:07) Let me ask you a question. (15:08) You ever seen something, you're not going to say no. (15:10) You ever seen somebody jump in the water to save somebody, even though they can't swim?(15:15) No. (15:16) Desire can outweigh belief.

Alan Lazaros

(15:22) They had to, on some level, believed that they could swim.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:27) I don't know if they believed that they could swim. (15:29) I think they believed they could save the other person. (15:31) Which requires swimming.(15:33) Not necessarily. (15:34) It requires helping that person. (15:37) They might've died doing it.(15:39) But they didn't. (15:40) Right? (15:41) Oh no.(15:41) I don't know. (15:42) I don't have a specific example, but.

Alan Lazaros

(15:44) Yeah. (15:45) We got to jump, but this is good. (15:47) This is really good.(15:48) You're telling me that desire, temporarily, the emotion of desire can override logic.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:58) You know how many things I do that I don't, like I say yes to, that I don't know how to do? (16:03) But you do believe you can do them. (16:06) You believe that it's figureoutable.(16:10) Not always.

Alan Lazaros

(16:12) Not, I mean, yeah, but I wouldn't do it if it wasn't. (16:18) Give me an example of something you didn't think was figureoutable.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:24) Maybe it's not that it's, it's not a yes or no. (16:27) It's just like very, it's like this is going to be a real giant pain in the ass to figure out. (16:32) But I wouldn't do it if the desire wasn't high enough.(16:36) So maybe it's not connected. (16:38) Desire does need to be there though.

Alan Lazaros

(16:42) Because I think it starts. (16:43) Maybe this is why knowledge isn't power. (16:45) Because you can know how to do it, but not want to do it.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:49) That's fair.

Alan Lazaros

(16:50) But if you have the awareness, knowledge, and the desire, you're going to have the belief.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:57) I went through a really rough breakup. (17:00) I felt like a fucking loser. (17:01) I couldn't afford to pay my bills.(17:02) I had an eating disorder after my bodybuilding show. (17:04) I was down in the fucking dumps. (17:06) And then I was like, I'm going to make the most money I've ever made in my entire life.(17:09) And I'm going to be successful. (17:10) And I'm going to, I'm going to be balling and I'm going to crush it. (17:13) And then like during, it was either during that process or after I saw that podcast episode and I, I was ready.(17:21) Something, something had unlocked in me and I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. (17:26) I had a different desire. (17:27) I don't want to do this anymore.(17:29) Like I want to do something different.

Alan Lazaros

(17:30) There's something in the aura ring that Kevin and I use that's called readiness score. (17:37) Evolve Ventures has a readiness score digital asset. (17:43) I do agree that there is like your readiness score on aura right now is mine's low.(17:48) What's yours? (17:49) Like probably something or something.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:50) Mine was like, how dare you first of all, you son of a bitch.

Alan Lazaros

(17:52) Then I got to get out of here.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:53) My readiness score is going to hurt your parents' feelings.

Alan Lazaros

(17:57) It's 85. (17:59) That's not, that's really good. (18:00) Okay.(18:00) Very good. (18:00) Mine is bad because I couldn't sleep last night. (18:02) We talked about it.(18:03) 54. (18:04) So in what aura is trying to say, based on your heart rate variability, your resting heart rate, your body temperature, your recovery index, and your sleep and your sleep balance, and all these, all these different metrics, based on all these metrics, you probably shouldn't go try to tackle a really intense workout. (18:22) You should probably rest and recover.(18:25) I want to create, and I'm going to consult with Amelia on this, something that indicates whether or not someone is actually likely to take action, which by the way, how good of a sales tool would that be? (18:36) Not to sell people things they don't need. (18:38) That's not what I'm saying, but to actually be like, Hey, you actually are ready to start a company.(18:44) Like you're ready to start a company and let's, let's do this. (18:47) I can help you do it. (18:48) And I can help you.(18:49) I can shave years of frustration off your life, starting and growing and scaling a company.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:55) And on the other end, Hey, you're, trust me, this ain't for you. (18:59) Yeah, exactly. (19:00) That's as powerful, if not more powerful.(19:02) Agreed. (19:02) Please don't dedicate the next five years.

Alan Lazaros

(19:04) I want to create green, yellow, red.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:07) I love it.

Alan Lazaros

(19:07) Green light means go. (19:08) Red means do not be a business owner under any circumstances. (19:11) And that's totally okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:12) I love it. (19:13) All right. (19:13) If you are a business owner, you're looking for a world-class coach.(19:15) I know you're thinking Kev, but we would love to coach with you. (19:18) I'm not talking about me. (19:19) I'm talking about Alan, the first best business coach in the world.(19:22) I might be like, I don't know. (19:23) I'm probably like 12, maybe, maybe I'm probably not even in the top 10. (19:26) Alan is number one in my book.(19:27) And I'm, I know I'm making jokes, but again, the dude knows how to do it. (19:30) That's how we we've got here as much as I'd like to take credit for all this. (19:33) And I would, if Alan wasn't here, Alan is the reason we've gotten here.(19:36) So let me, let me throw that out there. (19:38) Um, yeah, reach out to Alan for, for business coaching. (19:41) If you're trying to grow a business, you need someone who has done it.(19:43) And Alan can help you with that for sure. (19:45) If you're a podcaster who's looking for help, reach out to me. (19:47) I got you.(19:48) I do this all the time. (19:49) This is my favorite work in the world to do. (19:51) So please do not hesitate to reach out.(19:52) All of our stuff will be in the show notes as always. (19:54) We love you. (19:54) We appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you.(19:57) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow. (20:01) Cause we will be here every single day to help you get there. (20:04) Keep reaching for your full potential.

Alan Lazaros

(20:06) Next level nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:08) Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university. (20:12) We love connecting with the next level family.

Alan Lazaros

(20:14) We mean it when we say family, if you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (20:19) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (20:23) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:24) And we will talk to you tomorrow.