The Recipe For Lack Of Success… (2263)

What if the real reason you’re not progressing has nothing to do with strategy and everything to do with the patterns you refuse to see?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan reveal the overlooked traits that quietly undermine health, wealth, and long-term achievement. They break down the mindsets that weaken discipline, the beliefs that distort identity, and the behaviors that separate people who create results from those who never move beyond intention. This is grounded insight built from thousands of episodes and years of watching the same patterns repeat in real clients.

If you want a clearer understanding of what’s holding you back and what to shift next, this conversation gives you the lens you need.

Learn more about:
Think deeper, grow faster. Join our “Next Level Book Club”  – Every Saturday –
https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJMkcuiupjIqE9QlkptiKDQykRtKyFB5Jbhc

Your first 30-minute “Business Breakthrough Session” call with Alan is FREE. This call is designed to help you identify bottlenecks and build a clear plan for your next level. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

_______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:24) Entitlement and misunderstanding what results actually require
(4:50) Ego, value, and the illusion of “deserving” success
(7:07) Naivete, quick fixes, and the absence of rational thinking
(11:25) Fixed mindset patterns that block long-term growth
(13:25) Talking about goals instead of taking aligned action
(17:37) The complete profile of a person unlikely to succeed
(19:02) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:24 Entitlement and misunderstanding what results actually require
• 4:50 Ego, value, and the illusion of “deserving” success
• 7:07 Naivete, quick fixes, and the absence of rational thinking
• 11:25 Fixed mindset patterns that block long-term growth
• 13:25 Talking about goals instead of taking aligned action
• 17:37 The complete profile of a person unlikely to succeed
• 19:02 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) We have talked at length over the years about the type of people that we would bet on, the attributes of the people that we think are going to be successful. (0:10) Today we're going to talk about the attributes for people that we would not bet on in terms of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:15) If you wanted to know the recipe to not be healthy, to not be wealthy, and to not be in love, we're going to give you that today.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:23) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:26) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:27) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:30) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:37) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:43) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:59) Self-improvement in your pocket every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:06) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:11) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,263. (1:15) Thank you for sitting through the worst cold open I've probably done in a while, so I appreciate you sitting through that. (1:21) The recipe for a lack of success.(1:25) You and I just had a very deep conversation. (1:27) We were supposed to record several episodes today, and we, so far, have recorded zero episodes. (1:33) Now, we're in progress of one.(1:36) But a lot of what we were talking about were success principles, as we usually are. (1:40) And Alan said, why don't we do an episode on what would happen, or I guess the best representation of the type of person we wouldn't bet on being successful. (1:49) Yes.(1:50) I know you already have some in mind. (1:53) So what, we're going to do three each? (1:55) Three each.(1:55) What is your, let's start with your number three. (1:59) Not number one. (2:00) Number three.(2:01) How dare you? (2:01) And you work your way up. (2:02) How dare you?(2:03) Make sure you stick around. (2:04) Number seven is my favorite. (2:06) No, no, I'm, how dare you?

Alan Lazaros

(2:08) You know, I'm doing this with number one first.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:10) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(2:11) That's how my brain works. (2:12) You do it. (2:13) You're trying to give me the priority issues up in here.(2:16) Priority one, most important thing. (2:18) So if I was to say, hypothetical a person, we'll call them person A. (2:24) Person A is not going to be successful if they are constantly distracted.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:30) We talked about that. (2:32) Yesterday. (2:33) Yesterday.(2:33) Yes. (2:34) Yep. (2:34) Well, no.(2:35) Today. (2:36) So that dropped yesterday. (2:38) Yesterday in the NLU verse yesterday.(2:41) Yes. (2:41) NLU verse. (2:42) Not bad, huh?(2:43) I like that. (2:46) I'm thinking capital N, capital L, capital U. (2:49) And then verse.(2:51) Verse. (2:51) I think that's good. (2:52) Or should it be NL universe?(2:55) Probably makes more sense. (2:57) NLU verse.

Alan Lazaros

(2:59) I don't know. (3:00) I kind of like that. (3:00) Okay.(3:01) We should probably talk about it off air.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:03) Yeah, I would say that would be the number one for one. (3:05) Number one thing for me is instead of adding value, they just talk about shit that doesn't matter. (3:09) That would be mine.(3:10) You're joking, right? (3:11) Yes, of course. (3:12) Okay.(3:12) The thing that popped into my mind, and again, I'm trying to use anecdotal evidence from people I've talked to. (3:17) I'm not, I'm just, I'm trying to think of like, who are people I've worked with who I loved, who I got to the point where I realized, wow, you're in trouble unless you change this, this, and this. (3:26) And this one for me, you convince yourself that you deserve something based on the fact that you want it, not that you've earned it.(3:36) It's really hard to break free of that. (3:39) So you use an example recently, and this has happened so many times over the last, however many years, you'll talk to somebody and they'll say, yeah, I'm a coach. (3:47) And I have this, this offer that I do for people.(3:51) It's a year group coaching and it's $5,000 for the year. (3:56) And I only accept the $5,000 upfront. (3:58) You have to, there's no payment plan.(4:00) You've got to give me $5,000. (4:01) Like, okay. (4:03) I mean, $5,000 over the course of a year, not terrible, right?(4:06) It's like 400 bucks a month. (4:07) That's 40. (4:08) Okay.(4:08) Not, not out of the realm of possibility. (4:11) How many people have you, have you worked with before? (4:14) What do you mean?(4:15) How many people have done the program? (4:17) Oh, nobody's ever done it. (4:19) So how'd you land on, how'd you land on 5,000?(4:22) Well, I just feel like that's what my time is worth. (4:25) Okay. (4:27) How'd you land on that number?(4:29) Well, that's, I don't, I mean, I've been doing this for a couple of years and I feel like that's what my time's worth. (4:33) Okay. (4:34) That's where I think a lot of people get stuck there because then, well, I want everybody to think that I charge a lot of money because that's dictated to, that's connected to the level of value I can add.(4:44) And if people find out I only charged $97 for a call, they're going to think I'm not valuable. (4:50) And I think that's a really easy place to get stuck. (4:53) And I would not bet on somebody that gets stuck in that loop because it's really hard to, you really have to like sit with that and say, it's my ego that wants the money more than anything at that point.(5:05) It's your fear of looking.

Alan Lazaros

(5:09) Incompetent. (5:10) Incompetent or less than right. (5:12) It's, it's a flex to say I charge a hundred thousand dollars to speak.(5:18) And the speakers who have a hundred thousand dollars speaking fee on their website, they don't actually charge a hundred thousand dollars. (5:24) That's on their website. (5:25) They anchor you high and then they end up charging you 20,000 and you think you got a deal.(5:29) I got something for you. (5:31) Talk to me.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:31) I got something for you. (5:32) I saw this yesterday. (5:33) I saw this in a thread yesterday.(5:34) Look, allegedly, I'm just going to say allegedly I Googled, is Jay Shetty a fraud? (5:41) Alleged, there's some things that popped up allegedly. (5:43) Like I didn't write the articles.(5:44) You can read them yourself. (5:46) I don't think he was a monk for as long as he said, let's just put it that way. (5:49) And one of the things was there was a screenshot of somebody that was trying.(5:52) So somebody DM somebody and said, Hey, we're from Jay Shetty's team. (5:57) And we feel like you'd be a really good fit for his 90 day bootcamp on blah, blah, blah. (6:02) And they're like, before we move forward, how much money are you making personally?(6:08) So we can make sure you're a good fit for this program. (6:11) And the person was in a different country. (6:13) I think they were in India.(6:14) So they said, however much it was. (6:16) And I think it ended up being like 30,000 us dollars or something a year. (6:19) I don't remember the exact, but they were like, Oh, that's perfect.(6:22) Perfect. (6:23) That's great. (6:24) Perfect.(6:24) That is a perfect amount. (6:25) Um, I believe it was like, I think it was $900 a month to join his program. (6:36) And they were like, no, I, you have to understand the conversion.(6:39) Like that's, that's a lot of money for me more than you think. (6:42) And they, they said, Oh, we just talked to Jay, just talk to him. (6:46) Just get off the horn with Jay, the man himself, the monk himself, the myth himself.(6:50) We're willing to drop that down to one 97 for you and you only. (6:54) So that's an example of, yeah, people are, yeah, it's not real.

Alan Lazaros

(6:57) Just be, just be smart and just realize that that's a technique to anchor high and then to go low. (7:07) And it, the smarter you are, the less likely you get hoodwinked. (7:10) Okay.(7:11) That would be my number two is someone who is naive and gullible. (7:19) Someone who wants to feel good rather than actually get better. (7:24) Someone who wants to believe in fairy tales, someone who wants to believe in Candyland, someone who wants to believe that.(7:33) So you could call this self-delusion. (7:35) You could call this naivete, but it's someone who falls for quick fixes. (7:42) So if so far, if you are constantly distracted and constantly falling for quick fixes, that's my person who I don't bet on being successful.(7:53) My first one, if you bucket it, so what's the category? (7:57) So my first one is distractions. (7:58) My second one is, is naive and gullible.(8:01) What are, what was your first one? (8:02) Your first one was basically probably entitlement. (8:04) Entitlement.(8:05) Yeah. (8:05) Nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:06) I was going to use entitlement if you didn't, even if it's, if it's like unintentional, even if it's just ignorance, it still comes off as entitlement. (8:14) Yeah. (8:15) It's like, well, it's either naive or and delusional or it's entitled.(8:20) Yeah, that's fair. (8:21) If you, if you were somebody who caught fish and sold them for a living, you would ask the person what they were willing to pay for it. (8:28) You wouldn't say, no, no, this, this bass is $5,000.(8:31) They're going to be like, that's awesome. (8:34) I'm going to go get a trout for 12 and then you're going to be in trouble.

Alan Lazaros

(8:38) Go get a trout for, what'd you say? (8:39) 12.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:39) 12. (8:40) 12. (8:40) Yeah.(8:41) The market dictates the price. (8:42) Yes. (8:42) FYI.(8:43) But business growth university is going to talk all about that. (8:46) You know it. (8:47) Alan, Alan likes to cross over business growth university and next level university.

Alan Lazaros

(8:51) We're not going to do that today. (8:51) Well, if anyone wants to listen to business growth university and you want to talk about the market and you want to talk about supply and demand and you supply, if you want to talk about supply and demand and business growth and how to build an actual company that helps real people in the real world and scale it far past the six figure mark business growth university, we have done that. (9:13) We have done that.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:14) And then some more appropriate or a line for most of you is probably book club. (9:19) So every single Saturday, 1230 Eastern time right now they are reading. (9:22) What's the, I keep forgetting the name of the Rationality by Steven Pinker.(9:25) If you want to be more rational, that might, that might be Alan's. (9:28) Maybe that's the second point of not falling for the quick fixes and being naive. (9:34) I think the opposite of that is probably rationality.(9:36) Every Saturday, 1230. (9:37) Okay. (9:38) My second one, the link to register.

Alan Lazaros

(9:42) We'll be in the show notes. (9:42) We'll be in the show notes. (9:43) Totally free.(9:44) Totally private. (9:45) A small group of people. (9:48) I promise you it will increase your probability of being successful.(9:53) I'm thinking deeply about my second one. (9:55) So, so far your person is entitled and blank, you know, pretend we're playing a video game and we're building a character that's going to be the least successful.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:15) This person doesn't actually know what it's going to take to accomplish what they say they want.

Alan Lazaros

(10:21) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:21) The more entitlement, the second one is ignorance. (10:25) I would say, I don't like that word.

Alan Lazaros

(10:27) It seems so hardcore. (10:29) I don't know. (10:30) Is that just a, you think, or no, I don't think so.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:32) People hate people. (10:33) I don't think people like that word because I feel like if I was in school and my teacher called me ignorant, I'd be like, well, fuck you.

Alan Lazaros

(10:41) How about that? (10:43) One thing that I think is so wildly, and I don't apologize for this. (10:48) That's not my point.(10:49) I, I think more people are insecure about their intelligence than I ever imagined.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:55) So that's fair.

Alan Lazaros

(10:56) And ignorance, the word ignorant is like a big fear. (11:01) I think a lot of people have being called ignorant. (11:03) Yeah.(11:03) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:04) Yeah. (11:05) I, because I think it feels like it's final feels like it's, you know, yeah. (11:12) It feels like you're, you're dumb and we can't do anything about it.(11:18) Maybe that's a me thing. (11:19) I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

(11:20) No. (11:21) Well, that's the fixed mindset piece, which might actually be my third one. (11:25) Honestly, fixed mindset probably is.(11:27) Yeah. (11:27) Fixed mindset thinking that, okay, I'm going to jump in here real quick and then I'm going to kick it back to you with the ignorance thing, please. (11:38) If you believe that being dumb is final, if you have a fixed mindset, meaning you don't believe you can get better.(11:45) So my person is constantly distracted, naive and gullible, and they believe in fairy tales and they have a fixed mindset and they don't believe that they can improve. (12:00) That person is never going to be successful. (12:04) Unfortunately.(12:05) Yeah. (12:05) That's my character. (12:06) My character's in some trouble, brother.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:08) That was, I had that last one for sure. (12:12) I definitely had a fixed mindset at the beginning of this. (12:15) So again, a lot of the ones that I'm talking about, I'm relatively guilty of, I mean, I wanted to charge like $1,500 a month for what I did because it was like, seems like a good round number, you know, good round number.(12:29) So that's where we'll start there. (12:31) See what happens. (12:32) And here's the problem.(12:32) It worked. (12:34) That's the problem until it didn't, it worked. (12:38) Hmm.(12:40) Okay. (12:40) I kind of two, one, this would be one that's not actually on the list. (12:46) The person gets lucky early.

Alan Lazaros

(12:48) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:49) That's all. (12:50) That is a, it seems really good in the moment, but you don't have to develop any of the skills or any of the knowledge to actually reverse engineer how to be successful. (12:59) And you get this flash in the pan and you wake up and it's like, why isn't it continuing?(13:03) It's because you don't know, you don't know how it happened in the first place. (13:05) So that's a, we'll say that's like three a.

Alan Lazaros

(13:11) So, so far you have an entitled person who gets lucky early and doesn't really know what it's going to take to be successful.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:19) They don't know what it's really going to take. (13:22) This would be the, the actual number three. (13:25) They like to talk about it more than they like to do it.(13:28) And this is me talking too directly to me. (13:32) When I used to train martial arts, it was way cooler for me to talk about it than how much I actually wanted to do it. (13:38) It's, it was just really cool.(13:40) People were like, oh my God, I can't believe that's what you want to do. (13:42) That's crazy. (13:42) Oh, wow.(13:43) Blah. (13:43) What's it like? (13:44) Look, I'm not as good as you think.(13:46) I'm not nearly as committed as you think. (13:48) You just don't know anybody who does this. (13:50) So it seems really cool.(13:52) And that's the reason I wasn't more successful. (13:53) A thousand percent, a thousand percent. (13:56) And then you step in the ring with someone who's doing it more than talking about it.(13:59) Yeah. (13:59) And you get your ass kicked. (14:01) You get your ass kicked.

Alan Lazaros

(14:02) In front of everybody.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:04) Well, I, I would, I mean, I I've trained with kids that were like a lot younger than me that were way more dedicated, that were really good at a very young age. (14:11) It's like, ah, okay. (14:12) I didn't take this very seriously.(14:13) So that it's, look, it's really, it feels really good to talk about dreams and it feels really good to talk about success. (14:20) And it feels really good to say, this is what I'm going to do. (14:23) And then that's where a lot of people stop and they just talk about it.(14:26) It's like, yeah, I'm going to, I'm, I'm going to do this. (14:28) I love it. (14:29) Fucking hell.(14:30) Yeah. (14:30) Do it. (14:31) And then you see the person a year later and they haven't done it.(14:33) And unfortunately that's a pattern for a lot of people that that's a pattern. (14:37) Well, yeah, I'm going to get a gym, a gym membership. (14:39) Cool.(14:39) Awesome. (14:39) I'm going to do this. (14:41) I'm going to do this.(14:41) I have this side hustle. (14:43) I have this, I have this. (14:44) A lot of people, and I would love to do an episode on this at some point.(14:50) Let's do the next one. (14:51) Okay. (14:52) We'll do the next.(14:52) I won't even, we wouldn't even, I won't even bring it up. (14:54) We'll just do it. (14:55) Okay.(14:55) So that, yeah, I feel like it's just easy to talk. (14:58) You're not going to tease the next episode? (14:59) Nope.(15:00) No, because I don't have it fully fleshed out yet.

Alan Lazaros

(15:04) I know. (15:05) Okay. (15:05) Blasphemy.(15:06) So let's combine our characters for a second.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:09) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(15:09) Now I want to make this very clear. (15:12) We are talking about this. (15:14) So, cause I think it's cool to study both success and what is the opposite.(15:18) Cause then you understand the whole picture. (15:20) It's not just about what brings success and those character traits and those skills and those mindsets. (15:26) It's also what guarantees you aren't successful long-term.(15:31) So our characters combine, they fuse and they create this massive failure of a person. (15:38) They are entitled and they believe they deserve things for very little effort and can charge whatever they want despite the market. (15:47) They are distracted constantly.(15:51) They believe in fairy tales and candy land and they're naive. (15:57) They are ignorant and don't know what it's going to really take despite the fact they don't like the word ignorant. (16:03) They have a fixed mindset and don't believe that they can get better over time.(16:11) So they don't. (16:13) And what was your 3A? (16:16) 3A, I don't know.(16:18) I forgot.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:20) You said like, you said four kind of, but one of them was 3A? (16:23) I genuinely don't remember. (16:25) I'm like, I don't know if I just didn't sleep well, but my brain is just not operating on all.(16:29) We did a bunch of math equations earlier. (16:32) Maybe that's why. (16:32) I think I gave it everything I had.(16:34) It's all good. (16:34) We did. (16:35) We did some math earlier.(16:36) We did. (16:36) And I'm telling you, I'm like humbly, it's humbling. (16:40) I can't, things are not connecting.(16:42) My synapses are not firing.

Alan Lazaros

(16:44) I feel good.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:44) I always do. (16:45) 3A was something to do with fixed mindset. (16:48) It was a side one, but it wasn't valuable enough for a whole one.(16:54) I don't, I genuinely don't know. (16:55) I don't know at this point. (16:58) All right.(16:59) All right. (16:59) All right. (17:00) Entitled.(17:01) My, um, my sleep score was not strong today. (17:04) Entitled, ignorant, and we got to get it. (17:07) You got it.(17:08) Hold it. (17:08) Give me a second. (17:09) Your character.(17:09) You want to talk about massive pressure? (17:11) It's like, just remember this in front of everybody. (17:13) Remember you gave a story about fighting?(17:15) Talking about it.

Alan Lazaros

(17:16) Talking about it, not being about it. (17:18) Okay. (17:18) So we're going to wrap this up.(17:19) We got to jump. (17:20) My apologies. (17:21) So our character who is deemed for failure is ignorant and entitled and talks about it more than they do it.(17:33) And they also are naive. (17:35) They believe in fairy tales. (17:37) They have a fixed mindset and they're distracted.(17:41) That is what not to do. (17:44) Aka be focused, have a growth mindset, be about it more than you talk about it. (17:48) Right.(17:49) Obviously the opposite. (17:50) So that was awesome, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:52) And get sleep, get sleep. (17:53) I'd say that would be 3B. (17:56) I can't remember what 3A is, but 3B would be get sleep because sleep is paramount.

Alan Lazaros

(18:00) I, uh, I watched a Ted talk this morning, two of them. (18:03) One of them was about memory and, uh, it just reminded me of that. (18:08) So you can improve your memory too.(18:09) You can totally change that. (18:12) But yeah, cool.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:14) All right, man, we'll have a good one. (18:16) It's been, it's been, you know, it's been real. (18:18) It's been great.(18:19) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(18:19) For anyone out there real quick who wants a coach, who wants to be on point, who wants a system of success to that, I want to say guarantees, but guarantees that we increase the probability that you succeed. (18:32) Reach out. (18:33) I have 22 people that I coach that I'm working with every single week.(18:39) Some of them are monthly, some of them are biweekly, but I'm with people every week and my job is to help make them more successful. (18:45) And I am, I, every single day I'm thinking about how do I help each of these people be more successful. (18:49) So if you want someone in your corner, who's going to do everything they can to make you successful, trust me, you're going to make way more money long-term than you invest in me.(18:59) So just reach out my emails and the show notes. (19:01) Boom.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:01) All right. (19:02) As always, we love you. (19:03) We appreciate you.(19:03) Grateful for each and every one of you. (19:05) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single freaking day to help you get there. (19:12) Keep reaching for your full potential.(19:15) Next level nation. (19:16) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (19:20) We love connecting with the next level family.

Alan Lazaros

(19:23) We mean it when we say family. (19:25) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (19:28) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(19:32) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:33) And we will talk to you tomorrow.