The Real World VS The Social World (2268)

Most people build a version of themselves that looks successful while their real life falls behind. Kevin and Alan break down the hidden cost of the highlight reel, the identity damage it creates, and why real self-improvement requires consistency, discipline, and better decision-making, not optics. You will learn the fundamentals that never trend, the principles that actually move your life forward, and how to measure real personal development instead of chasing manufactured momentum.

If you are serious about growth, this conversation will sharpen your standards, strengthen your awareness, and force you to confront what your results say, not your image.

Learn more about:
Your first 30-minute “Business Breakthrough Session” call with Alan is FREE. This call is designed to help you identify bottlenecks and build a clear plan for your next level. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:52) Why the highlight reel hides the real cost of success
(5:15) The fundamentals that build results but never look impressive
(8:47) Financial misalignment and the Super Bowl example
(11:17) The four levels of social-world and real-world mastery
(17:15) Why you can’t opt out of perception in a digital economy
(20:13) When your real world is stronger than your social world
(23:09) Body of work vs the trailer: how trust is actually built
(30:08) Integrity, identity, and the gap between truth and image
(33:17) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:52 Why the highlight reel hides the real cost of success
• 5:15 The fundamentals that build results but never look impressive
• 8:47 Financial misalignment and the Super Bowl example
• 11:17 The four levels of social-world and real-world mastery
• 17:15 Why you can’t opt out of perception in a digital economy
• 20:13 When your real world is stronger than your social world
• 23:09 Body of work vs the trailer: how trust is actually built
• 30:08 Integrity, identity, and the gap between truth and image
• 33:17 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) This is one of my least favorite paradoxes, where it seems really good on one end, but on the other end it's actually terrible, and then if you reverse it, it's the same in the opposite. (0:12) We'll explain in today's episode.

Alan Lazaros

(0:15) So we all have to live in two worlds. (0:18) One of them is the social world, the other one is the real world. (0:23) Both matter, but you have to get your syntax right.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:26) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:29) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:31) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:34) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:40) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:47) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:03) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:09) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:15) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2,268, the real world versus the social world. (1:21) You've heard us talk about this concept many times, but we have experimented and experienced a lot more since we've talked about it.(1:32) A really good example, I have many good examples. (1:34) I went to, so I got paid to drive out to New Jersey a couple weeks ago. (1:39) I got paid to go down there, I got a hotel booked for me, and all things considered, I really only technically worked with these clients for like 2 hours.(1:48) I also got to do a really cool photo shoot with super high quality headshots, I got to email them to get, that didn't cost me a cent. (1:58) And it was, it seemed from the outside, a really, really, really cool experience. (2:04) So in the social world, I can do a post, and again, I want to walk the fine line of taking you behind the curtain so you can see behind your own curtain.(2:13) I can do a post on social media talking about how, hey, this literally was a dream come true. (2:17) I said so long ago, at some point, we're going to have a department in NLU that helps people build studios. (2:26) Nice.(2:27) I said that years ago. (2:29) You did, I can verify that. (2:30) You can verify.(2:31) Now, it's different than I thought, I thought we'd have like a construction team that would go out, like we're not there yet. (2:36) Maybe that'll happen at some point, I don't know, everything's kind of virtual now. (2:39) A lot of the things you said in those early days.(2:41) So much. (2:42) Are different. (2:42) Most of them.(2:44) But this was from the social world. (2:47) It looked like, oh, Kev's a successful podcast coach. (2:49) Clients are just paying him to come out.(2:52) That's incredible. (2:52) That's amazing.

Alan Lazaros

(2:53) You are a successful podcast coach.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:55) Yes, and in the real world, I got up at 3.30. I drove to New Jersey. (3:00) I checked into my hotel room. (3:01) I almost pooped my pants.(3:03) I went straight from there to the conference center. (3:07) I ate a quick meal. (3:09) I helped them.(3:10) Then I went back to the hotel. (3:12) Then I prepped for group coaching. (3:13) Then I did group coaching.(3:14) And then it was like, I was freaking exhausted. (3:17) I ordered food and then I laid in bed. (3:19) We recorded as well.(3:20) We recorded as well. (3:21) Did we not? (3:22) Do we record?

Alan Lazaros

(3:26) We prepped for group coaching together, I think. (3:29) And you said this is the most tired you've ever been. (3:31) But I thought we recorded.(3:32) I think we recorded.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:33) I think we had to record too. (3:34) But I was freaking exhausted. (3:37) Real world versus the social world.(3:38) That. (3:39) Part two, Taren and I are looking to move to a new home very shortly. (3:43) Super excited.(3:45) It will look really nice on social media land. (3:49) And the amount of stress and pressure and overwhelm and strategy and consistency and commitment and discipline that have had to happen for this to even be an option, behind the scenes that nobody will ever see, have been debilitating. (4:04) Just fucking brutal.(4:09) Simplest terms, what looks really good to help you build your perception is usually not good for the thing that actually builds the business. (4:16) And that's the weird wonky thing that we're talking about today. (4:20) It doesn't have to be a quote unquote business, but just understanding if, oh gosh, you work eight months to get abs and then you show yourself at the beach eating and drinking.(4:33) That's actually hurting the progress that you've worked so hard to get, but it looks really good in a very small vacuum of time. (4:39) Great. (4:40) That's a good one.(4:41) Metaphor. (4:41) Yeah, that's probably the best one. (4:42) Fitness always works.

Alan Lazaros

(4:45) You don't drink for eight months. (4:48) You work out consistently. (4:50) You track your macros.(4:52) You sleep. (4:52) You hydrate. (4:54) You're hungry a lot of the time.(4:56) And then you have a weekend, 4th of July weekend, where you're ripped up at the beach drinking, eating burgers. (5:04) That's what you're going to see on social.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:06) That's what you're going to get. (5:06) Yeah. (5:07) It's very hard because the fundamentals that build the thing aren't the fundamentals that you can show because they're boring as hell.(5:15) That's the hard. (5:17) We could very easily do a post about how when we crossed 2,300 episodes and it seems it's like, oh my goodness, they crossed 2,300 episodes. (5:25) Most people were not here for all 2,300 episodes.(5:28) So the social world is like, oh my goodness, that's amazing. (5:32) The real world, nobody really cares that much. (5:34) They don't come and listen to every single episode.(5:37) That's another example. (5:39) But that's the hard thing. (5:41) I'm going to Toronto next week.(5:43) If you're listening to this, this is Monday. (5:46) If you're listening to this, I'm going to Toronto on Wednesday. (5:48) It's going to look really good on social media.(5:50) I'm going to hang out with Evan Carmichael again. (5:52) I am going to be so stressed out because I have to find a way to keep WhatsApp going all day while being in the mastermind all day. (6:00) I'm already freaking out.

Alan Lazaros

(6:04) Yeah, the highlight reel, the social world, the wedding photos, the wedding. (6:18) Let's just do this. (6:19) So the social world is the wedding photos.(6:22) The real world is the marriage. (6:25) The social world is the new home. (6:28) The real world is the mortgage.(6:32) The social world is the abs. (6:34) The real world is the starving. (6:37) So hungry you can't sleep.(6:40) The social world is you win a bodybuilding competition. (6:43) The real world is you texted your coach saying, I need a cheat meal. (6:50) I'm freaking out.(6:51) I'm so scarce. (6:52) I've never been this fearful in my life. (6:55) Just my mind is fucking with me.(6:57) The social world is you got engaged. (7:00) The real world is the fear of not being with this person forever. (7:15) Kevin and I, before we did this episode, we've talked a lot about this in the past, but I think this is kind of a deeper layer of it for me.(7:26) You need to get good at both. (7:29) And I think that when you're a kid, this is, you know, you and I've talked in the past about when you're a kid, you think adults have their shit together. (7:37) And some of that is just being ignorant.(7:39) Like, oh, you drive a truck. (7:42) That's interesting. (7:43) Like I couldn't drive a truck.(7:44) So you think that's so cool. (7:47) And then you become an adult and you realize that the people that you thought were really cool were actually, in my case, there's a couple I'm thinking of anonymously that were just straight up degenerates, complete and utter degenerates, like nothing to look up to whatsoever. (8:05) And, but I didn't know, because when you're a little boy or little girl, you think that's really cool.(8:12) Like, that would be really cool. (8:15) But then when you get there and you're 37 and 36, like us, you realize that the things that look good in the social world are often detrimental long term. (8:31) So it's not, it's not just real world, social world.(8:34) You have to get that good at both, but it's also almost everything. (8:37) So you, you and I know someone who went to the Super Bowl and I said, that's a really bad idea. (8:47) You could go to like 50 games for the same price of going to that one game.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:51) Yep.

Alan Lazaros

(8:52) And you said, yeah, but everyone is thinking to themselves like, whoa, that person's really successful. (8:57) And I was thinking to myself, no, that's like a really terrible idea. (9:01) That's a giant waste of money.(9:03) You could invest that. (9:03) Now I'm not trying to be boring. (9:05) That's not my point.(9:07) If you love football and you want to go to the Super Bowl, do you? (9:09) I think it's really unintelligent though. (9:11) Genuinely.(9:12) And you and I talked about this. (9:13) There's someone who's four wheeling outside speaking of the real world versus the social world. (9:18) It is awesome to have that much extra capital where you can spend an extra 20 grand to go to the Super Bowl.(9:29) But that's not, what if that's their last 20 grand?

Kevin Palmieri

(9:34) Well, in some cases it is, which is, that's where it gets wonky. (9:39) And if you invest that capital, it's crazy what that can do and what that can build. (9:44) So go ahead.(9:45) But that's the thing is, okay, well, what if I go to the Super Bowl? (9:48) Cost me 20K. (9:48) I got 20K.(9:49) Let's say I have 20K. (9:50) I've always wanted to go. (9:52) I love football.(9:53) I used to play football. (9:54) Imagine, right? (9:55) What if I get a hundred thousand dollar client at the Super Bowl?(9:59) Because that's the type of person that's at the Super Bowl, right? (10:02) So like there, I think there are ways to do it, but, and that's more of a business conversation really. (10:07) Well, that's the third thing because I don't think most people are doing that.(10:11) Well, I think most people are really good at, I wouldn't even say really good, really focused on one and the other one that you don't necessarily know the detriment. (10:20) So like we talk about this all the time. (10:22) I've never met somebody who knows as much about business as Alan.(10:25) It doesn't really matter unless it looks like he knows a lot about business, unfortunately. (10:30) Right. (10:30) And if I, let's say I go buy a McMansion, I could sit on the front steps and do business lessons every day.(10:37) And people would be like, nice. (10:40) Okay. (10:41) This kid's on to something.(10:42) Or I could do it from my car because I have a quote unquote nice car. (10:46) It's wonky. (10:48) It's wonky.

Alan Lazaros

(10:48) The internet has made this so much worse. (10:50) It has. (10:51) It has.(10:51) Yeah. (10:52) The internet has made every, is there anything the internet hasn't made it easier to fake? (10:57) The internet has made everything easier to fake.(11:00) I think so, yeah. (11:02) That is the root cause of this issue, I think. (11:07) Yeah.(11:09) And lack of awareness. (11:11) Yeah. (11:12) Yeah, for sure.(11:14) So you and I, level one, this is next level university. (11:17) Let's just talk success for a second. (11:19) Level one is I care.(11:23) I'm young and I'm naive and I care about status and I care about my reputation. (11:28) I care what people think of me. (11:29) Most people in high school care so deeply about what people think of them.(11:32) Okay. (11:34) Level two is, oh, it actually turns out that me orienting my entire life around what I look like rather than actually who I really am is actually terrible and wildly detrimental. (11:45) I've like lost myself in this.(11:48) So then level three is, all right, I'm going to master the real world. (11:53) Screw the vanity. (11:54) Screw the reputation.(11:56) Screw the Super Bowl. (11:56) I'm just going to have a really good life in real life. (12:00) And then level four is, oh shit, I am happy, healthy, productive as hell.(12:08) And I'm definitely doing well, but I can't succeed in the economy if no one assumes that I'm an expert at anything. (12:17) That's why I started out in fitness coaching, because we didn't have a big successful business yet. (12:22) And I didn't, I was using the results that I had, I was in very, very, very top 1% shape.(12:30) And I realize in hindsight, that is why I got so many clients. (12:33) Because I got like 12 fitness clients. (12:35) Not that, it wasn't that hard for me in retrospect.(12:40) And I don't want to, at the time it felt hard for me, probably. (12:44) But now that I coach so many people, I realize how well we did. (12:48) You and I, we're doing group coaching and we're doing something called the next level.(12:52) Podcast accelerator, shout out to team Hypecast. (12:55) And Kevin and I have these moments, we reflect back on our journey, March of 2017 and how we've gotten here. (13:01) And we realize we were way better than we felt at the time.(13:08) Statistically speaking, when it comes to building a podcast and building a business and building a personal brand, you and I were way better at this than I thought.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:18) The hard thing about it too though, is honestly, I perpetuated this. (13:24) All the travel, I was in debt, all the travel I did was on credit cards, I was broke as shit. (13:30) I didn't want you to know how broke I was.(13:32) So my life probably looked way better. (13:33) And again, all things considered, I got to do what I want full time. (13:39) And going back to talking about passion and purpose, the passion I had for that was probably enough to, I don't know.(13:47) I'm sure there's probably a lot of people that say like, honestly, man, I'd be broke for a couple of years if I could do my thing that I wanted to do. (13:53) But I think I didn't understand. (13:55) I'm sure we, I leveraged this.(13:57) I'll speak for myself. (13:59) I didn't consciously.

Alan Lazaros

(14:01) I mean, I think I did. (14:03) There's no question that I made it clear that I was in great shape and I tried to connect that to I can coach you in fitness too. (14:10) Like, of course, but I didn't understand the implications of all this.(14:13) I really didn't. (14:14) I mean, my, I went from 160 pounds, sort of skinny fat to the other side of the spectrum very quickly. (14:26) I mean, I gained 60 pounds in six months.(14:30) I remember. (14:32) It's a lot. (14:33) I remember.(14:35) Also, I want to give a shout out to anyone out there watching or listening who has donated. (14:40) Thank you so much. (14:42) And Kevin and I are very grateful.(14:45) So first names only, but thank you so much to Amy, Beth and Matt. (14:52) Beth is Kevin's mom.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:54) My mom's. (14:54) Yeah. (14:55) She doesn't miss.(14:56) Mom, I don't know if you listen to the podcast, but I appreciate you. (14:58) You're the best.

Alan Lazaros

(15:00) Your, your mother and grandmother are always right on it. (15:04) We didn't even promote this.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:06) This is where I, I have been, you know, people in the past have said, Kev, you're a little bit reckless with money. (15:13) My mom and memes are very, very generous. (15:15) So that's where I get it from, which I'm grateful for.(15:18) I'm, that is something I still, to this day, I, while it's, whether it's reckless or not, I don't care. (15:22) I, it's one of my favorite things about me for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(15:24) Well, thank you for those of you who did donate. (15:27) Thank you so much. (15:28) The link will be in the show notes.(15:29) Go fund me next of a whole foundation. (15:32) And it's to have a blast with children of single parents and we're going to play basketball. (15:40) We're going to do arts and crafts.(15:42) We're going to get pizza and it's going to be awesome.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:44) So it is going to be the show notes. (15:45) We'll have gifts and, and all that happy jazz.

Alan Lazaros

(15:47) Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. (15:50) Okay. (15:50) So real world, social world levels.(15:53) I want to go back through the levels. (15:55) All right. (15:56) Level one is you do care what other people think of you because you're a young kid and your reputation matters to you a ton.(16:02) Let's say you're in high school. (16:03) Okay. (16:04) Middle school, high school.(16:06) Level two is you realize the detriments of caring too much about what other people think of you. (16:13) So you flip the script and go, screw it. (16:14) I'm going all in on the real world.(16:16) Screw the Instagram photos. (16:17) Like I'm going to go all in on the real world. (16:19) I'm going to be sound in my real life, fulfilled and happy and meaningful life.(16:23) Then you realize, Oh, I've never told you this before, but I do this all the time on other podcasts. (16:29) I have the four buckets of life. (16:30) Have I done that before?(16:33) Uh, yeah, I think so. (16:35) Okay. (16:37) Successful and fulfilled that one.(16:38) Yeah. (16:39) Consider this the four levels, four buckets. (16:41) But the first one is you're unfulfilled and unsuccessful.(16:44) Second one is you're externally successful, but internally unfulfilled. (16:47) I think that second bucket is when you are too focused on what people think of you instead of what you think of you. (16:54) You get caught up in the horse shit.(16:56) Like seriously, right? (16:58) There was a time in my life where I was caught up in all the horse shit. (17:00) He said, she said, you know, looking better than you really are the whole thing.(17:05) The nonsense vanity metrics. (17:07) I, it, you, you can't be fulfilled and focus on that, but, but you can't neglect it either. (17:13) You can't opt out of it.(17:15) No company can be like, you know what? (17:17) Screw marketing, screw branding. (17:18) I don't have to look.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:19) Not a successful one.

Alan Lazaros

(17:21) Yeah, exactly. (17:21) Imagine if you got your iPhone in a shitty package, right? (17:26) The iPhone has to be great, but the package has to be nice too.(17:29) And the website has to be nice too. (17:31) And, and, and, and, and, right? (17:32) So, uh, level one, boom.(17:36) All you care about is what people think of you. (17:37) Level two, you stop caring what people think of you altogether and you just go all in on the real world and you forget about the social world. (17:43) Level three, you go, oh, I got to figure out the social world too.(17:48) Level four, you master both in the right syntax.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:53) A question. (17:55) How much, what do you think the optimal caring what people think about you level is?

Alan Lazaros

(18:02) Way less than most people do, but you definitely can't bring it to zero. (18:09) Yeah, I, I think that's terrible.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:11) You've always known that. (18:12) You can't bring it to zero because even if you're, that's the thing is, well, I want to get to a place where I don't care what people think. (18:20) Awesome.(18:20) You'll be super centered and people will think you're a fucking loser. (18:24) Maybe. (18:24) Yeah, that's the, I'm not saying that you are, I'm not saying that at all, but you might be the most centered person who in a digital world does not seem like they have value.(18:35) Unfortunately.

Alan Lazaros

(18:36) Yeah, we know people that are wonderful, that are terrible at marketing. (18:42) So they don't look good. (18:44) They don't look good on the internet.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:45) You don't, we have a, we have a client who has an elevator in their home and they're like, yeah, I don't know. (18:55) I just, I can't really seem to get any like love or success on social media. (18:59) I was like, just start showing stuff like that.(19:01) That's all like, I didn't, I will never look at you the same. (19:04) You have a fucking elevator in your house. (19:06) What are we doing here?(19:07) And I just am just finding that out now. (19:09) I'm not saying here's the difference. (19:12) This person does nothing.(19:14) I know, but you're weird. (19:15) This person has worked for decades, grinded their face off, learned a ton, built a business, sold the business. (19:23) They didn't rent this house to show it off.(19:26) This person earned it. (19:27) They spent decades grinding their face off, making sacrifices, learning, serving people, building a business. (19:34) So it's not like they're renting this house to build their credibility.(19:38) They already have the credibility. (19:40) They already have the perception. (19:42) They're just not showing it because they think that's, it's bad for them to do that.(19:47) If you're out there and you are the person who rents the stuff, I'm not talking about that. (19:52) I'm not saying this, this message isn't for you necessarily. (19:54) This is for somebody who's super heart-driven, who has accumulated a lot behind the scenes, who has never showed it off.(20:00) Their real world is better than their social world. (20:04) Therefore, anybody, which is 99% of people that know them only in the social world, won't think they can actually help them in the real world. (20:11) That is where this gets really wonky.(20:13) Yep.

Alan Lazaros

(20:14) The takeaway that I have for this is you have to focus on the real world first. (20:20) And we can give it tons, dozens of examples where a flex, quote unquote, in the social world is detrimental to the real world. (20:32) I have a client, shout out to you, I'll keep it anonymous.(20:37) He has a net worth of $225,000. (20:42) He drives a 2017 $9,000 car. (20:46) It's actually part of his net worth.(20:48) That's why I know how much it's worth. (20:53) The truth is, I believe this man is more valuable than anyone else will know. (21:00) That is actually my truth.(21:02) As a matter of fact, I know you're listening, brother. (21:07) He's single currently, and he's gone on some dates, and again, I'll talk high level. (21:15) I actually find it difficult to see these women not see his value.(21:22) And in a way, I understand why they don't, because he's not show-bodied. (21:31) He's not trying to show off. (21:33) I find it frustrating that some of the people that are the most capable, the most competent, the most intelligent, the most hardworking, the most heart-driven, the most driven, are actually the least inclined to showcase their value.(21:49) And I think, at the end of the day, my takeaway is you cannot get your syntax wrong. (21:57) You have to do real world first. (22:00) Social world is the wedding photos.(22:03) Real world is the actual marriage. (22:05) Social world is the new home photo on Facebook. (22:09) Real world is the mortgage payment.(22:13) Social world is the brand new car. (22:15) Social world is the car payment, and you tracking your finances to make sure you can afford it, and getting effective insurance, and all this stuff. (22:23) The real world matters more.(22:26) I actually have this written on my own personal thing. (22:29) I don't usually share. (22:31) It's called my True North.(22:33) Everyone that I coach, and everyone on the NLU core team has a dashboard. (22:39) And their whole life rolls up to this one success dashboard. (22:44) And my dashboard starts with this quote.(22:47) Who you are and what you do when no one's watching is and always will be what matters most. (22:54) I don't care if anyone knows if I'm successful. (22:59) But I'm a goddamn business coach.(23:02) Yes. (23:03) And I have to look good in the social world as well. (23:07) Because how do you meet people?(23:09) You meet people in the social world, and then bring them into the real world, and then help them build success in the real world. (23:15) So social world matters first. (23:17) No, I'm sorry.(23:18) Real world matters first. (23:20) Social world matters second. (23:22) And as much as it makes me upset, you have to master both.(23:27) You have to master both. (23:29) And just be honest in it. (23:31) Be honest.(23:32) I didn't become a business coach until we already built the quarter million dollar per year business. (23:36) And that was years ago. (23:38) Just be honest about it.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:40) Well, this is the hard thing. (23:41) And as insensitive as it may sound, when I was looking for a fitness coach, I was looking for a fitness coach in better shape than me. (23:50) Yeah, 100%.(23:51) And you're not going to hire a business coach who doesn't have a successful business. (23:55) You're not going to hire a relationship coach who doesn't have a successful relationship. (23:58) You're not going to hire a money coach who's fucking broke.(24:00) It wouldn't make any sense. (24:01) It's just highly illogical. (24:04) So I use this thought.(24:08) Let's say I'm going to look at a new place. (24:12) We're taking my car. (24:14) My wife has a nice car.(24:16) She's a newer car. (24:17) But my car is quote unquote nicer from a perception perspective. (24:22) If there's two people they're thinking about selling this to, or let's just say renting, because when you sell it, you don't really care what happens to it.(24:29) Nice car or car that pulls up and then breaks down in front of the house. (24:34) They're probably going to choose the nice car.

Alan Lazaros

(24:36) And the problem with this is the person who has the car that's broken down might actually be someone on their way to being a multimillionaire because they invest all their goddamn money. (24:45) That's the thing. (24:46) But that's the rarity.(24:47) That is the rarity.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:48) Well, not even though, because in this case, well, they're going to pull your credit and they're going to ask how much you make and all that. (24:52) So it's not necessarily apples to apples. (24:55) But I'm just saying this would be like a scene in a movie where a really nice car pulls up and then somebody is pushing the car up the hill and then like jumps in it to roll it down the hill and then park it in front.(25:06) Who do you think they're going to go with? (25:08) Nine times out of ten, they're going to go with the person who has a nice car.

Alan Lazaros

(25:10) Okay, so let's give our listeners something to walk away with. (25:13) So you have to master both. (25:15) We know that.(25:16) You have to get good at both. (25:17) You know that what people think of you does matter in the economy. (25:22) It does matter when it comes to your success, particularly in the wealth bucket and in love too.(25:29) Fortunately, unfortunately, I mean, yeah, for sure. (25:31) There is something called market value in dating. (25:35) I am six foot two.(25:37) Kevin is shorter. (25:38) I have higher market value in a certain arena with most women. (25:42) Most women prefer a taller man.(25:43) That is a statistical fact. (25:45) So market value matters. (25:47) But I can't, we can't just assume that I'm a higher value man than Kevin until we also look into the real life.(25:55) Because there's a very good chance that a six foot two tall blonde is a dick. (26:00) Statistically speaking. (26:01) Statistically speaking.(26:02) I would say so. (26:03) At the end of the day, I do think it's both. (26:06) You have to master both.(26:07) You have to get good at both and just make sure you're as honest as you possibly can. (26:11) Because the 21st century has really ruined, it has amplified this to such a drastic extent. (26:16) Like, pretty much anyone can lie on the internet if they want to.(26:23) Yeah. (26:23) Like, okay, Kevin and I this year just surpassed $400,000 this year in our company. (26:32) Okay.(26:33) Up, upper limit, we're looking at $500,000. (26:36) Lower limit, we're looking at $440,000. (26:38) Now, that's honest.(26:40) That's true. (26:40) That's accurate. (26:41) I can show you the metrics.(26:42) But I could have just said that and totally lied. (26:45) Of course. (26:46) Yeah, for sure.(26:46) That drives me nuts. (26:48) Make a penny number, really. (26:52) How do we make it so clear that we're not lying?(26:56) I don't know if you...

Kevin Palmieri

(26:57) I think it's body of work. (26:59) It's body... (27:00) Look, we produce a big YouTube channel.(27:06) And for a time, we were doing these... (27:08) We were taking old videos and freshening them up and then re-releasing them. (27:12) And people in the comments were like, I can't believe a fucking word you guys say.(27:16) I listened to a video yesterday and you were 67. (27:17) I listened to a video today and you're 69. (27:20) What else are you lying about?(27:21) It's like, this video is two years old, friend. (27:23) That's why they say they're 67. (27:26) But now everything's up in question.(27:28) Yeah, you can't break trust. (27:31) I think it's body of work. (27:33) I think it's body of work.(27:34) You have to show the body of work. (27:36) As much as we're willing to say that's how much we're making this year, we'll also tell you that we made $13,000 in the first two. (27:42) I think that's the difference is like...(27:44) The problem is when you're in the first two years... (27:46) I know, you don't want to talk about it.

Alan Lazaros

(27:49) It's very... (27:50) Even though we're still of value. (27:52) Well, it's self-preservation.(27:53) I think that's why a lot of people lie because they don't have anything to flex, so they have to rent a car or whatever it is.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:01) It's self-preservation. (28:03) If you're trying to compete with other people, like, okay, I'm a new business coach. (28:06) I'm competing against you.(28:07) What do I do? (28:08) You have to get really good and you have to start small. (28:12) Yeah, start coaching for free.(28:12) And you have to charge very little out of the gate.

Alan Lazaros

(28:14) And you have to get better and do it for free at first. (28:16) And I could teach you how to build a home.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:17) But I don't want to because I bought a course online for $9.99. And it said, all I have to do is rent a low-grade Ferrari, run like $50 worth of ads, and then people would flock to me like the salmon of the Capistrano. (28:29) And that's what I'm going to do. (28:31) Well, you're going to have trouble sleeping at night, sir.

Alan Lazaros

(28:34) And on my Ferrari, I would love to compete with you because...

Kevin Palmieri

(28:36) I won't have trouble sleeping in my Ferrari, baby. (28:39) You're fucking with me.

Alan Lazaros

(28:40) Yes, of course. (28:42) Okay. (28:45) God, that's so depressing.(28:48) Anyways, back to the value of this episode. (28:49) I do. (28:50) And body of work is what matters.(28:51) And I'm glad you said that. (28:53) And at the end of the day, it's not just body of work though, brother. (28:57) It's showing your body of work.(28:59) Yeah. (29:01) At the end of the day, the movie has to be great. (29:04) But the trailer of the movie has to also be great.(29:07) And it's not just the value of the movie. (29:08) It's also the marketing of the movie. (29:11) And so at the end of the day, just make sure that you get it right.(29:14) Make sure the real world and your real life, how healthy, wealthy, and in love you are in real life is number one. (29:20) And then make sure that you also are given the credit where it has been earned in the social world, in your reputation. (29:30) And don't break trust.(29:32) You got to build trust over time. (29:34) I mean, NLU is built on this. (29:38) Don't be full of it.(29:39) Don't lie. (29:41) Be honest with yourself and others and do the work. (29:44) It's the tried and true fundamentals.(29:45) I think people that are willing to put the social world first, I think that eventually comes in an equal term. (29:58) I think that fulfillment, real growth, real contribution, real integrity, real authenticity happens with what I said. (30:08) Who you are and what you do when no one's watching is and always will be what matters most.(30:14) And make sure you're effective at marketing too.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:18) This would be the parallel I would leave with. (30:20) The movie has to be great. (30:22) The trailer has to be great.(30:24) The trailer cannot be better than the movie is. (30:26) Because if it is, everybody's going to leave disappointed. (30:30) Imagine if every time Alan and I took a picture, I photoshopped it so we were the same height.(30:35) When you come to one of our live events, you would be mind blown. (30:37) You'd be like, what the hell happened? (30:40) Nothing happened.(30:41) This is how I've always been. (30:43) I've been cooking the books. (30:44) Who did you say was wearing lifts in their shoes?(30:46) I don't remember who it was. (30:47) One of these alpha male, let me give you advice. (30:50) It's like, brother, I'm a short man.(30:52) I'm a short king. (30:53) My wife was taller than me on our wedding day. (30:55) And I'm not going to take a lick of advice that you give.(30:58) Because you wore lifts in your shoes all the time. (31:00) You're standing on your tippy toes all the time. (31:02) You're not going to tell me how to be more confident, sir.(31:04) Exactly. (31:05) You know? (31:06) If you were so confident and so- You'd just rock it.(31:10) You wouldn't, you'd rock it. (31:11) Taryn wore, I don't know what they are, not heels. (31:14) She wore some nice boots to Thanksgiving.(31:16) She was definitely taller than me. (31:18) What are you going to do?

Alan Lazaros

(31:19) That's real life, baby. (31:20) What are you going to do? (31:21) I do, I love it.(31:22) You can't take confidence advice from someone who's all ego. (31:26) Who's wearing lifts in their shoes. (31:28) Can you imagine if you found that out?(31:30) That the whole time I had lifts in my shoes? (31:33) Oh, I would beat your ass. (31:34) I'd have to beat your ass.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:35) You should.

Alan Lazaros

(31:35) Yeah, I would have to. (31:36) I would beat my own ass. (31:37) You'd have to beat your own ass.(31:38) By the way, I'm 6'1 and 3 quarters. (31:40) I did round up to 6'2. (31:42) Okay, FYI, no lifts in these shoes.(31:44) But at the end of the day, I can't with that stuff. (31:47) It's not useful and it's not really helping people. (31:50) And it's making people feel worse about themselves too.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:52) I'm 5'6 now, so. (31:54) I went to the doctors recently. (31:56) They did my height.(31:57) Said, how tall? (31:57) I said, probably 5'5, 5'6. (31:59) Interesting.(31:59) Nice. (32:00) Something's off. (32:02) Must have stretched really well that day.(32:04) I don't know. (32:05) All right, cool. (32:06) All right, if you want to win in the real world, you have to hire a real coach who has real skills and real awareness.(32:11) Alan Lazarus is that. (32:12) I've known Alan for nine years. (32:14) I've seen behind the scenes.(32:16) If anything, he's more successful than you think. (32:18) Behind the scenes, he just doesn't show it. (32:20) So that means he has the knowledge to help you be as successful as you would like and are willing to work for.(32:24) Obviously, you're gonna have to show up and put in the work. (32:26) But if you're looking for a guy to help you, Alan is the guy. (32:29) We'll have his link in the show notes for a free 30-minute call.(32:31) If you've already done it, we can't be giving them away to everybody all the time. (32:34) But if you have not, please take advantage of it. (32:36) You will learn something for sure.(32:38) If you are on my roster, thank you, Kevin.

Alan Lazaros

(32:40) I appreciate it. (32:40) You're very welcome. (32:41) If you are on my roster, I will make it partially my responsibility to make sure that you are more successful over time consistently and sustainably.(32:50) Assuming, like Kevin said, you show up and you're consistent and you put in the work. (32:54) But as far as creating a system of success, helping you stay accountable, this is my favorite work in the world. (32:59) I'm telling you right now, I will make you more successful if you put in the work and stay consistent.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:04) I'm a shining example of that. (33:05) Again, I will be the longest running client you've ever had. (33:08) Unless I've messed this up, which is, I mean, that's definitely possible.(33:13) So far, so good. (33:14) I've messed up things in the past. (33:15) Yeah, I'm not planning on it.(33:16) I'm not planning on it. (33:16) All right, cool. (33:17) As always, we love you.(33:18) We appreciate you. (33:19) Grateful for each and every one of you. (33:20) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single freaking day to help you get there.(33:27) Keep reaching for your full potential.

Alan Lazaros

(33:30) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:31) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (33:35) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(33:38) We mean it when we say family. (33:40) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (33:43) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:47) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.