The 3 Things That Control Your Success (2279)

Are your results being shaped by effort, or by something far more subtle and powerful? In this episode, Kevin and Alan challenge common assumptions about self-improvement, personal development, and success. They unpack how consistency, attention, and daily decision-making quietly determine long-term outcomes, often without people realizing it. This conversation is direct, grounded, and built for those who care about sustainable growth, not short-term motivation.

If you want sharper habits, better decisions, and progress you can actually trust, this episode will recalibrate how you think about success. Run the system. Track the inputs. Let time do the rest.

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
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Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
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Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:02) Focus, environment, and behavior explained
(4:01) How identity is formed over time
(6:02) Outgrowing people and environments
(9:02) Standards, role models, and self-assessment
(10:09) Questions as a tool for focus
(12:26) Tracking attention through daily behavior
(13:10) Why self-belief is built, not forced, and the role of meaningful goals
(18:24) December environments and discernment
(20:35) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:02 Focus, environment, and behavior explained
• 4:01 How identity is formed over time
• 6:02 Outgrowing people and environments
• 9:02 Standards, role models, and self-assessment
• 10:09 Questions as a tool for focus
• 12:26 Tracking attention through daily behavior
• 13:10 Why self-belief is built, not forced, and the role of meaningful goals
• 18:24 December environments and discernment
• 20:35 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Alan showed up today to the recording and said, I have something powerful. (0:06) It's literally three things that dictate your success. (0:09) And if you follow these three things, you're pretty much guaranteed to be successful as long as you run the system long enough.(0:16) I was studying control theory and I was thinking about how this applies to success and the people that I coach. (0:23) And this is the breakthrough I had. (0:26) Welcome to Next Level University.(0:29) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:31) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:34) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.(0:41) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (0:47) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (1:03) Self-improvement in your pocket every day, from anywhere, completely free.(1:10) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:15) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,279, these three things, oh, sorry, the three things, excuse me, that control your success. (1:25) Ride the bus a little bit today.(1:27) A lot of great opportunity, but super, super overwhelmed. (1:30) So if I seem off in any way, that is why. (1:32) I'm not going to try to fake it because that's for losers.(1:35) All right, what are we talking about today? (1:38) What do we got? (1:38) Yes, it is.(1:39) All right. (1:40) So I was on with a client earlier and I haven't talked to him in about a month. (1:45) This is a monthly client.(1:47) And I said, this is the things that I was studying recently on control theory. (1:52) And I have my remarkable up here. (1:53) So those are kind of messy notes.(1:55) You can see if on YouTube, but I'll try my best to describe it for those of you who are audio only. (2:01) Okay. (2:02) So picture of Venn diagram, three circles.(2:05) And at the center is a star. (2:06) And that represents your greatest potential. (2:10) The upper left circle is what you pay attention to, AKA what you track, what you measure.(2:16) So you pay attention to your weight when you track your weight each day. (2:19) Okay. (2:20) These are the three things that control whether or not you achieve success.(2:25) The second one is the environment you find yourself in. (2:28) These environments can be digital. (2:29) We've talked about this in the past, digital or in person.(2:33) All right. (2:33) So your home, your town, your city, your nation, the culture of said nation, the communities you find yourself in. (2:43) So if you're in the next level of fitness accountability group, that's one community.(2:46) That's a person place thing or idea that the person's places, things, and ideas that you surround yourself with is your environment. (2:53) So one time I had dinner, this is eight years ago, seven years ago. (2:58) And I said, how many times, this is a weird question.(3:02) It's a weird question. (3:03) How many times today did you think of me? (3:06) And she said, uh, I don't know, 20.(3:09) And I was like, good. (3:11) That means I'm influencing you. (3:13) I've had clients.(3:15) I know you're listening. (3:16) Many of you say you're in my head all the time. (3:18) And I said, good, because I'm influencing.(3:22) You are influences when you, when you're not wanting to go to the gym, or you're not wanting to pick up the book, or you're not wanting to listen to NLU. (3:32) You want to listen to music. (3:33) I hope you're thinking of me saying, well, your future would be bigger, better, and brighter if you did the harder thing.(3:40) So the environment you surround yourself with, particularly the people matters a ton. (3:46) So number one is what you pay attention to. (3:47) Number two is the environments, digital and in-person.(3:51) Number three is your behavior, what you do and don't do. (3:54) So there's three circles, what you pay attention to, your environments, and what you do and don't do, which is your behavior. (4:01) And in the center, in this case, let's say Kevin or Alan or my client, Richard, shout out to you, your identity is shaped by these three things.(4:12) What you pay attention to, the environments you put yourself in, and your behavior, what you do and don't do. (4:17) What you say, think, feel, and believe about yourself is a by-product of those three things. (4:27) Feb, focus, environment, behavior.(4:31) Feb. (4:32) Does that work? (4:34) Yeah, but then everyone's got to think of February.(4:36) We could do Beth, but it's not. (4:39) Nah, man, Feb is better. (4:40) It's got to be Feb.(4:41) I like pay attention, though, because it implies that you're paying with something. (4:46) You only have a limited attention span. (4:48) The neuroscience shows that.(4:50) So I like to pay attention because you're ever hear back in the day, in high school, I didn't pay her any mind, bro. (4:59) I don't know if I know anybody that would ever say the words in that order. (5:03) I know one person who did.(5:04) Sounds very fancy. (5:04) Yeah. (5:06) I know this person.(5:07) I didn't pay her any mind. (5:08) I know this person. (5:09) Begins with an N.(5:14) Oh, okay. (5:14) I think I know this person. (5:15) Yeah, you do.(5:16) Okay. (5:17) You're not a fan.

Alan Lazaros

(5:20) N, not a fan.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:23) What's the second letter? (5:25) A. (5:28) We're going to have to talk off air.(5:30) I have no idea who this is. (5:31) I have no clue who this is. (5:32) I have no clue who this is.(5:33) You're just not the biggest fan. (5:36) No. (5:36) It's not like you hate the man or anything.

Alan Lazaros

(5:38) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:38) All right. (5:44) I've been thinking a lot lately about old friends and people I used to spend time with and how, if I was to meet them today, this is a really powerful question slash painful. (5:57) If you met a friend today for the first time, would you still be friends with them?(6:02) Great question. (6:03) No memory. (6:04) You have no nostalgia.(6:06) There's no camaraderie. (6:08) That's a really good freaking question. (6:10) Great question.(6:11) Because that literally suggests, I know that's the thing about relationships, right? (6:17) Relationships fall out because you value things differently and you're moving in different directions. (6:21) And I think you get to the point where you just pretend you're pretending that you're not.(6:26) It's the holidays right now, December. (6:28) Yes. (6:30) And obviously this is a global podcast.(6:32) So we're talking particularly the U.S., but North America, if the holidays are in December for you, that's what I'm talking about. (6:38) But Emily and I were on the conscious couples podcast and we were talking about the caterpillar cocoon and the butterfly thing. (6:46) And I picture all of us in December, I picture a butterfly like flying down, clipping its own wings and then like hanging out and like having dinner with caterpillars and good metaphor, right?(7:01) For sure. (7:03) And you, the metamorphosis is a great metaphor for people that are growth driven. (7:10) Your goals require you to grow.(7:15) And where you grew up, there might not have been goals that required growth. (7:19) There's no necessity. (7:21) And so you picture just a butterfly flying back to old world and just having dinner, but it can't really fly with its buddies or its family.(7:34) It makes me sad. (7:35) It makes me sad. (7:36) It sucks.(7:37) But it is true. (7:38) I think that's one of the unfortunate truths is like, it's just not enough to say like, oh yeah, this person, you know, this person's nice to me or this person loves me or this person wants to support me or whatever. (7:49) Like what if you find somebody that loves you and is more aligned, somebody who supports you and is more aligned, somebody who is nice to you and is more aligned.(7:58) That is, I think the game at the end of the day. (8:02) Unfortunately, I wish it wasn't that way, but. (8:04) You had a question back in the day that I thought was really good.(8:09) And it was something along the lines, I said it to Amelia last night, we were talking while we were eating dinner. (8:13) And I said, isn't it interesting how I assess people nowadays based on how lucky their partner is. (8:25) So I can think of a couple of people.(8:27) I'll shout out Christina. (8:29) Her husband, Dave is a very lucky man because Christina is such a wonderful person. (8:33) That's why I don't mean it in any other way.(8:36) Christina is just a wonderful human being. (8:38) I've worked with Christina for six years. (8:40) She has never once pissed me off.(8:42) Not once, which is not common, by the way. (8:47) I get frustrated regularly because I think frustration is a byproduct of someone or something in the way of your goals. (8:53) And when you have big goals, the achievers emotion is frustration.(8:57) So that's a big deal. (8:58) And I think Christina is one of the best people I've ever met. (9:00) That's my truth.(9:02) Now that said, you had a question of something along the lines of, if I had a daughter, would I want her to date someone like you? (9:11) It was if I had a child, would I want them to date someone like me? (9:16) Yeah.(9:17) Oh, in the way I show up in the way that, or would you want them to date somebody like your partner? (9:25) Either way, you can do it any direction. (9:27) Yeah, I think it's a closer, the closer you say to you, the weirder it sounds, but you got to take yourself out of it because that's, I mean, we talk about being an example, you're going to be an example for someone.(9:37) You want to be a role model for someone. (9:38) That's like the best example of, Oh yeah, I would really be happy if somebody ended up with someone like my partner, like me. (9:44) I think that's the ultimate, the ultimate thing.(9:47) How does somebody know what they're focused on? (9:51) Maybe sound sounds like the simplest question of all time, but I feel like it's when you focus on something for long enough, you forget what it's like not to focus on it and you forget what it's like to focus on other stuff. (10:00) I think one of them is what we automatically went to, which is one of the questions you're asking because answers will change, but questions can stay the same.(10:09) So for example, if ever at the end of every year, you and I ask, okay, what did we do well this year? (10:14) And what am I going to do better next year? (10:17) The answer will be different every year, but the question can be the same.(10:20) I think questions are really powerful for that reason. (10:23) By the way, I just want to give a shout out here to anyone out there who is getting after their goals and dreams. (10:28) I was on with shout out Richard.(10:30) He dreamlines every day. (10:32) The Next Level Dreamliner right here on YouTube. (10:35) I've been using it every single day as well.(10:36) I've actually got a digital version on my remarkable, so I am cheating, but at the end of the day, achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. (10:44) Here's what I promise you. (10:45) This Next Level Dreamliner will help you reverse engineer your goals and stay on track.(10:51) The chances of you achieving your goals in 2026, not your New Year's resolutions, but your actual hard goals increase drastically when you actually journal first thing in the morning or first thing at night or both. (11:04) And when you open the Dreamliner, it literally has your top three gratitudes, gratitude first, most important tasks, most important win, most important improvement, and next level lesson. (11:13) And there's a question.(11:14) So this is a random page I just opened to. (11:17) Is there a book that changed your life and why? (11:19) Yes.(11:20) Is there a book you have been wanting to read but haven't yet? (11:23) Just prompts like that, that keep you focused on the right things to the point of this episode. (11:29) This Dreamliner will help you pay attention to the right things.(11:32) And we just lowered the price to $27. (11:35) And just FYI, nobody else will tell you this. (11:38) The only reason we have a price at that is because it costs like 20 something dollars to have it on Amazon.(11:43) So we didn't just wake up and say like, we're going to make it $27 that we would lose money if it was any cheaper than that. (11:49) So that's, that's the reason we didn't just decide on a number. (11:52) I think it's, I think we make something like eight bucks or something.(11:56) Yeah. (11:57) I think eight is the high end. (11:58) Um, I would have to check and it varies based on Amazon's rates, but, well, you know me, I like to, I like to throw it right out there.(12:05) Honesty. (12:06) I like to throw it right. (12:06) You gotta, you gotta tell the truth.(12:08) Yeah. (12:08) $27. (12:09) Amazon makes part of that questions.

Alan Lazaros

(12:11) What else?

Kevin Palmieri

(12:11) Amazon dropshipping. (12:12) What questions are one way to really hone in on what you're focused on. (12:17) What else are questions is one, probably the best one.(12:22) We always talk about your dominant question. (12:24) The next best one is tracking. (12:26) I get a good one.(12:28) YouTube search search history. (12:30) That's 100% going to tell you what you're focused on. (12:34) Yeah, that's good.(12:35) It's a good one. (12:36) It's very meta. (12:36) It's very, very tactical, but it's good that you're actually your Instagram.(12:41) If I go on your Instagram under your search bar, that's a really good suggestion of what you're focused on. (12:46) Anything, anything where you have search history that literally tells you if you go on your phone and you look at the time spent on each app, that's a really good suggestion. (12:55) We were saying that about WhatsApp for me.(12:57) I don't know how I am hyper-focused on WhatsApp. (13:01) I'm in WhatsApp for hours every day, right? (13:04) It's where our clients are.(13:06) It's where our clients are. (13:07) What you're paying attention to might be the single most important thing in the entire world. (13:10) Second would be who you surround yourself with and the environments you find yourself in.(13:13) Third thing would probably be, honestly, self-belief would be first.

Alan Lazaros

(13:20) Always.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:21) But your self-belief is predicated on these things. (13:24) Imagine you pay attention to personal development, self-improvement, getting better, self-efficacy, all these things. (13:30) You pay attention to NLU.(13:31) Imagine you surround yourself with people who believe in you and believe in themselves. (13:34) Imagine you do good habits and stop doing bad ones. (13:39) That person's just going to win eventually.(13:42) They're going to win. (13:43) They need a goal though, which I think requires self-belief. (13:46) I really feel like the biggest barrier to people's growth is just not finding the most meaningful goal that actually facilitates enough necessity to grow.(13:58) I'm convinced of that. (14:00) I have another plug. (14:01) What do you have?(14:02) Unapologetically, and here's why I believe you should come to this. (14:06) I know it's going to change your life. (14:08) We have a group called the Masterclass Group and we just voted.(14:15) Let me take a look. (14:17) We have six votes for goal setting, two for professional development, two for personal development, and I'm the only one who voted for leadership. (14:24) Which of the following masterclass topics would be most helpful to help you achieve your goals in 2026?(14:29) It's looking like goal setting is going to win. (14:31) I don't have a link yet. (14:33) I will get the link done today and tomorrow's episode will have a link in the show notes to the masterclass.(14:38) I haven't named it yet, but it's going to be on goal setting because it's going to be on January 1st. (14:42) It's actually on January 1st, Thursday, January 1st, 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. (14:49) My thought.(14:50) What do you think about my thought? (14:51) I forget. (14:53) I believe one of the biggest places we get stuck is just not finding a goal that's actually meaningful enough.(15:01) Yeah, agreed. (15:03) Meaning is the word, man. (15:04) Meaning is the word.(15:06) So many of the things I do, I think I always wanted to do to a degree, but there never was a reason that actually meant. (15:14) I tell the story about how when I dipped my toe into entrepreneurship, I was going to buy a bunch of phone cases from China and I was going to sell them on eBay. (15:25) I was like, this is dumb.(15:27) This is dumb. (15:28) This is empty. (15:29) I'm not willing to put in work for this.(15:32) This doesn't make any sense to me. (15:33) And I failed at a lot of things and I half asked a lot of things and I'm convinced because they just weren't as meaningful as I thought they were or as I thought they were going to be or as I said they were. (15:47) There's something.(15:49) We talk about meaning pretty often, but there's something about that. (15:53) I have the word meaning on my whiteboard downstairs, Emily and I with a star at the top, meaningful image. (16:00) And what does that mean?(16:01) It means one of my habits on my tracker is a social media post every day, but it's meaningful social media post. (16:09) And so my new orientation, and I've been working on this a long time because I don't really like social media that much, but I do love that we get to connect with people all over the world. (16:20) So you can't have one without the other.(16:23) And I realized somewhere along the lines that I feel like I've lost myself a little bit in the past when I was fitness modeling and 43 photo shoots and fitness competitions. (16:32) And I think I'd lost myself. (16:35) I definitely did for sure.(16:37) When you're do three interviews to be cast on love Island, you've probably lost yourself. (16:43) And thank you by the way for making sure I didn't fucking do that. (16:48) Uh, I'd love to say that was out of like vision, but a lot of that was self-preservation.(16:52) If I'm being honest, I knew if you left a hyperconscious podcast was going to be in trouble. (16:58) I, uh, I'll never forget it. (17:01) It's, are you always this articulate with your words?(17:05) Yeah. (17:06) I think before I speak, is that going to be a problem? (17:08) Yes.(17:08) Is the only interview of all time that I've ever had in my entire life where being smart was a bad thing. (17:14) Are you like fully committed to not being an alcoholic anymore? (17:19) Or do you think you could like, let that slide for the next three months?(17:22) Honestly, I'm not joking. (17:24) They were in literally this, this casting director literally said, it's just a bunch of hot people on an Island. (17:28) It's big in the UK.(17:29) Like you're really hot. (17:30) Like let's do this. (17:32) And he was not a straight man and that's all fine.(17:36) But they were trying to dig up shit. (17:39) Of course. (17:39) So do you have a girlfriend who like cheated on you and you want to get her back?(17:42) And I was like, Oh my goodness. (17:45) Reality TV is a sham as if anyone didn't think reality TV was real. (17:50) No, no, I promise you it's not.(17:52) I would say it, it, it crossed into obvious when they were putting fish tanks in people's cars on pimp my ride or like a popcorn. (18:01) Like, Hey, I, you know, I work, I work like 15 minutes away. (18:04) I just need my car to get me there.(18:05) And they're like, I love that. (18:06) We're going to put a fucking popcorn machine in the trunk so you can stop along the way. (18:11) If your car doesn't run, we didn't fix the engine or anything, but you get a popcorn machine.(18:15) Okay. (18:16) Two minutes, wrap this up, wrap it up. (18:17) What's the takeaway here?(18:19) Why was I talking about love Island? (18:21) Uh, you were talking about, Oh my goodness. (18:25) You said something.(18:27) Oh, meaning, meaning, meaningful social media posts. (18:30) I, I lost myself for a while there. (18:33) And I just think that that's a terrible idea.(18:36) All of us have had times in our life where we got focused on stupid shit for sure. (18:42) I definitely have fallen for that. (18:43) And now I'm going to post things that matter to me that are meaningful to me that I think are good for the world.(18:51) And I'm going to just focus on that and hope that good things come as a by-product. (18:56) And I think that that will attract people to this show that actually have similar core values instead of trying to, you know, if I show more fitness and I'll get more algorithm and fucking likes, I think I'm done with all that shit, man, honestly. (19:11) And yeah, I think I did some of that for a while.(19:13) And I really hated my life kind of, to be honest, even though I was getting some of the things that a lot of people would want, like reality TV and all that. (19:20) But anyways, so the three things are what you pay attention to everyone check in. (19:25) Are you paying attention to dumb shit?(19:27) That's useless and trivial, or are you educating yourself? (19:32) Uh, number two is what do you do and don't do? (19:35) What are your behaviors, habits, constructive and destructive habits?(19:38) We all know the difference. (19:39) And then the third one was persons, places, things, and ideas that you surround yourself with, your environments that you find yourself in. (19:45) In December, you're probably going back to old environments that might not be constructive.(19:50) So just be discerning. (19:52) I was thinking of that the night before Thanksgiving, you know, people go out and get just, they just rage hammered. (19:56) Yeah.(19:56) I was like, I don't lie. (19:58) Why would you ever? (19:58) I used to man, straight up.(20:00) I don't know if I ever have. (20:01) I don't know if I've ever done that. (20:02) Yeah.(20:02) Biggest drinking night in the U.S. of the year. (20:06) And I thought the same thing. (20:08) I was like, yeah, I would never do that now, but I also used to.(20:12) I was in bed super early. (20:14) We went to hawks nest back in the day. (20:16) Ah, the old hawks nest.(20:17) You remember? (20:18) I don't. (20:18) I think I've been there maybe one time.(20:20) Yeah. (20:21) That was the, that was the spot. (20:23) All right.(20:24) Next elevation. (20:25) If you're looking for a spot to be surrounded by amazing humans who are also on this weird ass journey of growing a little bit every day, we have a private Facebook group called next elevation. (20:34) We'll have the link in the show notes as always.(20:36) We love you. (20:36) We appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you. (20:38) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(20:45) Keep leveling up to your true potential. (20:48) Next level nation. (20:50) Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university.(20:54) We love connecting with the next level family. (20:56) We mean it when we say family. (20:59) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.(21:02) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (21:05) Thank you again. (21:06) And we will talk to you tomorrow.