The Unsexy Attribute Of ALL Successful People (2281)

Hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros challenge a common misconception in self-improvement. Most people are not stuck because they lack drive. They are stuck because they are building on the wrong foundation. This episode reframes what real personal development requires when results matter over the long term. Through lived experience and hard-earned insight, Kevin and Alan unpack the invisible factors that separate progress from stagnation and why some people consistently earn trust, momentum, and opportunity while others do not.

If you want sustainable growth, sharper decisions, and real progress in your self-improvement journey, this episode clarifies what serious personal development actually requires.

_______________________

Learn more about:
The “Next Level Hope Foundation” creates meaningful experiences for kids growing up without a father figure and builds a positive, supportive community around them.
To support this event, you can donate here: https://gofund.me/5c6abcf7f

_______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:26) Conscientiousness defined: responsibility and reliability
(5:02) Why you would bet on certain people
(6:48) Prep, rep, reflect, perfect as a success framework
(9:23) Organization, prudence, and work ethic
(15:36) Paying for conscientiousness in life and business
(17:24) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:26 Conscientiousness defined: Responsibility and reliability
• 5:02 Why you would bet on certain people
• 6:48 Prep, rep, reflect, perfect as a success framework
• 9:23 Organization, prudence, and work ethic
• 10:36 Paying for conscientiousness in life and business
• 17:24 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Some of the most unsexy fundamentals are the things that are best for your success. (0:06) And again, I don't know why it's set up that way. (0:08) I think it's probably set up that way because the unsexy things are the people, the things that people want to do the least.

Alan Lazaros

(0:14) This character trait is the most correlated with long-term success out of any other single trait.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:23) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:25) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:27) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:30) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:37) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:43) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:59) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:06) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:11) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,281, the unsexy attribute of all successful people. (1:20) Success leaves patterns, you've heard that. (1:22) Success leaves clues, all of that stuff.(1:24) And I think there's probably, I don't know, a handful of attributes that most successful people have in common. (1:32) What are you smirking about? (1:33) I shouldn't have worn this shirt, man.(1:34) It's too hot in here.

Alan Lazaros

(1:35) Too hot. (1:36) This is long sleeve.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:37) For those just listening, Alan has on, what would we call that?

Alan Lazaros

(1:41) I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:42) It's a nice shirt. (1:43) Good shirt.

Alan Lazaros

(1:44) It's just warm.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:46) It's warm.

Alan Lazaros

(1:46) Extremely warm. (1:48) Too warm. (1:49) I thought it was going to be colder.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:52) Well, I'm going to need you to power through. (1:54) Change that shirt right after, right before you go to book club, you know, throw on something.

Alan Lazaros

(1:58) No chance.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:58) I'm going to have to power through the whole day with it. (2:00) The whole 12-hour day sweating.

Alan Lazaros

(2:02) 100%.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:02) Powered back-to-backs, yeah. (2:04) It does get to a certain point in the day where you just accept it. (2:07) It's like, okay, I'm going to be sweating through every call today.(2:10) I just reached that now. (2:11) Okay, well, better now than later. (2:13) Okay, what is the unsexy, I can't say that, attribute that all successful people have from your perspective?(2:19) And maybe I'll argue it if I can.

Alan Lazaros

(2:22) Oh, I don't think you can. (2:25) No. (2:25) Okay.(2:26) Conscientiousness. (2:27) Okay. (2:28) One of my favorite words of all time, conscientiousness.(2:31) And it's, I'll describe the opposite first. (2:36) Imagine someone, you're dating somebody and they are drunk all the time. (2:43) They're late all the time.(2:45) They go to the bar all the time. (2:48) They have tons of friends. (2:49) They're all over the place.(2:51) They're a mess. (2:52) And you can't really rely on them for much of anything. (2:54) They don't use a calendar.(2:56) They don't answer their texts. (2:57) They don't check their emails. (2:59) They don't answer their phone.(3:00) They don't get back to you quickly. (3:02) They're like a drunken, all over the place shitstorm. (3:08) Okay, now imagine that person.(3:10) You say, hey, we would really love to pay you to run the company. (3:15) Right? (3:16) You have some funny stories in the past of people who would like crash their car and then just not show up for work and then get promotions.(3:23) And then, over me, yeah, over me, which is ridiculous. (3:29) Maybe. (3:29) The opposite of conscientiousness is someone who is an absolute nightmare, an absolute mess.(3:37) They have no, they don't take responsibility for anything. (3:42) And conscientiousness is responsibility. (3:45) Conscientiousness is structure.(3:46) Conscientiousness is having a calendar. (3:48) Conscientiousness is reliability. (3:51) You and I rely on each other every single day to record.(3:54) We never question whether or not the person will show up eventually. (3:58) I say eventually for me. (4:00) But the truth is it's an unsung hero of success, man.(4:03) We don't have to question each other of whether or not we're going to get things done, really, for the most part.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:08) Yeah. (4:08) Very rarely are you like... (4:10) The most important stuff.

Alan Lazaros

(4:12) Yeah. (4:13) Very rarely are you concerned whether or not I'm going to show up for us. (4:16) No.(4:17) And same, by the way. (4:18) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:19) With the important stuff. (4:22) I also think one of the things is, we had a potential client that I connected with and I was just like, honestly, this person, we're not best for this person. (4:32) I can already tell it's going to take way more than I'm able to pour.(4:35) It's just not worth it, necessarily. (4:38) And I have a seven minute audio from them. (4:40) And I'll get to that at some point, but that is not on the top of my list, nor should it be.(4:45) If I have a seven minute audio from somebody, I should make sure I get back to all the 30 second audios I have from clients and my wife and Alan and all that.

Alan Lazaros

(4:52) So I think that's another thing too. (4:53) Well, your conscientiousness has come way up because here's the thing. (4:56) If you weren't conscientious, I would know that and I'd be concerned that you'd never get back to it.(5:02) People that aren't conscientious, things slip through the cracks all the time. (5:06) And that's basically, there's like a more formal definition that I can certainly give, but ultimately if everyone, and I did this on conscious couples, if everyone closes their eyes and thinks of the person that, just imagine there's a lottery and in 10 years, if this person is healthy, wealthy, and in love, you win a million dollars, but you have to pick the person. (5:33) So you get to pick anyone you want and in 10 years, if they are healthy, wealthy, and in love at a high level, you, you win a million dollars.(5:41) And if you close your eyes, if you're not driving, who do you pick? (5:45) That's the person you want to be around. (5:47) That's the person.(5:48) And every time, no matter what, that person has high conscientiousness. (5:52) Every time. (5:53) It's impossible to pick someone who's the person I described at the beginning.(5:57) Yeah. (5:57) Unless they're just lucky. (5:59) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:59) But you wouldn't bet on luck. (6:00) I saw somebody today that posted something on social media. (6:03) It was like, my goal in 2026 is to win the lottery.(6:06) It's like, that's a terrible goal. (6:07) Just so you know, like maybe the worst, that's maybe the worst goal of all time. (6:11) Yeah.(6:11) What would you have thought in the past about that? (6:14) I probably would have thought like, that can't be the main goal, you know?

Alan Lazaros

(6:20) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:20) But that was, that was it. (6:22) Just that, that was the one. (6:24) Like that is a very, that's a really tough news.(6:26) So essentially you're just going to gamble all year and then like kind of hope for the best. (6:30) Like hopefully, I hope one of these really hits. (6:32) All right.(6:33) So I think about one of the things I used to struggle with that I'm still not, I'm better at, but I still have a long way to go for sure in everything, but especially this, I'm really good at prep. (6:43) So when I think of conscientiousness in general, I think of our prep rep reflect perfect. (6:48) Yeah, for sure.(6:49) So we have a little framework that, I don't know who, I think Alan probably created it. (6:53) We'll co-create it, we'll say. (6:54) We co-created it together that way I can get some credit on this.(6:57) Yeah. (6:57) You probably had at least one of those four. (6:59) Probably the prep.(7:00) Before you do something, you prep, you prepare. (7:02) So when I'm going on a podcast as a guest, I listen to the podcast, I know how to pronounce their name, all that shit. (7:07) What's up?

Alan Lazaros

(7:07) Why don't you think I created prep?

Kevin Palmieri

(7:09) Um, I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

(7:10) I have no idea why. (7:12) Intuitively, I feel like it was probably me. (7:14) I prepare all life so that I can show up.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:17) Yes. (7:18) No, I'm kidding.

Alan Lazaros

(7:18) I prepped for both of them today.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:20) Strong work. (7:20) Prep is the before work. (7:22) The sun is blazing in my studio right now.(7:24) Yeah. (7:25) I'm cooking.

Alan Lazaros

(7:26) It also seems like this is the brightest lights in the entire world in my studio.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:30) I think it's probably because mine...

Alan Lazaros

(7:33) I feel like it's the contrast.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:36) There we go. (7:37) Boom. (7:37) We're back.(7:38) Now I'm brighter than I was but better. (7:40) We're trying this new sleep supplement and I don't necessarily want to promote it.

Alan Lazaros

(7:46) I don't. (7:47) But it's called AGZ and it's got all the stuff in it and I feel like I woke up. (7:53) I'm not hungover by any means but I woke up from a deep, deep slumber.(7:58) I'm having a little trouble getting in the fight today. (8:01) It's like this sleep supplement is really too good, I think.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:04) When you Google it, it's going to say small horse tranquilizer. (8:08) Okay. (8:10) Prep.(8:11) Before you do the thing, you prepare for it. (8:13) Rep. (8:13) You show up and you do the freaking thing.(8:16) Reflect. (8:16) You look back on the performance to make sure that you have a most important win, most important improvement. (8:20) And then perfect.(8:21) You practice the things that you found were the most important improvements for next time. (8:26) I think that's a really good way to practice conscientiousness. (8:29) I was never good at the reflect.(8:32) So I felt like I would do, I would prep for a coaching call. (8:35) I do a coaching call really well and then I just wouldn't do the action items after as well as I needed to and it just left open loop after open loop after open loop. (8:43) That was a really challenging thing for me.(8:46) That's something I'm working on to this day and I think that's where having a to-do list is super helpful as well. (8:52) Real quick. (8:52) Shout out to everybody who has donated to the Next Level Hope Foundation.(8:55) We appreciate you so very much. (8:56) We're more than halfway to our goal. (8:59) The event is on the 20th.(9:00) So if you're listening to this, it is Sunday. (9:03) So it is six days from today. (9:04) If you would like to donate, we'll have the GoFundMe link below.(9:07) Again, whether it's a dollar or a hundred dollars, whatever. (9:09) Anything helps and we're just, we're super grateful. (9:12) And thank you to those who have already donated.(9:14) Yes. (9:15) Thank you. (9:16) So that's my thesis.(9:17) My thesis is, if there's a framework for conscientiousness, what would it be? (9:21) Simplest form.

Alan Lazaros

(9:23) It would be being extremely organized, having clear specific goals. (9:28) So organization clarity, OC. (9:32) Being extremely organized, having clear specific goals, being very discerning in your decision making.(9:39) Okay. (9:40) It's known as prudence. (9:42) Just effective intelligent choices.(9:45) Work ethic. (9:46) You really do. (9:47) You just unrelentingly work toward your goals.(9:52) So work ethic is definitely one of them. (9:53) Also known as diligence. (9:57) And the last one would be perfectionism.(9:59) This is the one people don't like. (10:01) For some reason, and I never liked this. (10:04) You've never heard me.(10:06) I think there was a short time in our early days that my perfectionism was kind of under scrutiny, even by myself and you. (10:14) In hindsight, fuck that. (10:16) I'm just very thorough.(10:18) I, okay, I'll be honest. (10:20) I don't like it when people don't spell things well. (10:23) Let's see.(10:23) There are certain people who, when they text, it's like, are you wasted? (10:28) Figure this out, right? (10:29) It's not that hard.(10:31) And the other piece of this, but again, I know that that sounds very condescending, but the effort that you put into texting me is a reflection of who you are. (10:40) I don't, I'm not saying everything has to be perfect. (10:42) No, right, right.(10:43) But you can't, like there's one person I'm thinking of never uses punctuation. (10:48) There's no punctuation. (10:50) It's like, did you not like go to third grade or, and the truth is people are judging you.(10:57) If one of my mentors, he hires, used to hire people all the time. (11:03) The people who hire people are looking at that, right? (11:07) If I'm going to hire someone, I need you to, well, it's a suggestion of other stuff.(11:13) Yeah. (11:13) It's a suggestion of you and I, in the past, we've worked for 50 minutes on one email and that email got us a potentially huge client and maybe nothing right. (11:22) In one case, it got us a really good mentor at the time, but to me, how much effort you put into conscientiousness means you, you open the door for a woman.(11:34) You are careful. (11:35) You don't just say random shit to your partner. (11:37) That's going to hurt them.(11:39) It doesn't mean you shell up and never say any truth. (11:42) It means you, you just are so you're, you're so focused on your impact and the ripple effect of that impact in the world. (11:51) Like everything I'm sharing on this podcast right now is, is conscientious.(11:56) It's, it's by design. (11:57) It's trying to, for a purpose, it's for a goal. (12:00) I'm not, I'm not just, I don't want to offend anyone, but I also want to help you.(12:03) And I can't help you if I don't potentially offend somebody. (12:05) So, but someone who just walks in, no shame in my game. (12:09) I don't give a fuck.(12:10) Like those people are a nightmare. (12:12) They're an absolute mess and they're never going to be successful. (12:14) And then they're going to blame other people potentially.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:16) Well, so self-awareness, environment, environmental awareness, others awareness. (12:22) And when I say environmental, I don't just mean environment, nature. (12:25) I mean, thoughtfulness is a big one.(12:27) Thoughtfulness.

Alan Lazaros

(12:28) You, you talked about a couple that you knew they'd break up because the, the wife fell in the water.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:33) And the first thing the husband did was just get mad.

Alan Lazaros

(12:37) Yeah. (12:38) And, or poke fun. (12:39) And poke fun.(12:40) And it's like, that's not a conscientious man.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:42) Honestly, it was like belittling. (12:44) It wasn't even poke fun. (12:45) It was like belittling.(12:47) And that was his wife. (12:49) That's probably not good. (12:51) Well, they're divorced now.(12:52) They're divorced now. (12:53) So the prediction was unfortunately slash fortunately maybe for them. (12:57) Correct.

Alan Lazaros

(12:58) But well, I think these are good exercises because this is a success podcast. (13:01) I'll be brief. (13:02) But everyone can think of someone they would never bet on in terms of success.(13:07) Like this is just about success. (13:08) This isn't about whether or not you're funny or have a good heart. (13:10) Okay.(13:11) This is about success. (13:12) You can't run a company and be a fucking mess. (13:15) Yeah.(13:15) Right. (13:15) Not a successful one. (13:17) Yeah, exactly.(13:18) And I think that unconsciously people are watching. (13:20) They know, they know, they know whether or not you're a responsible adult or a, or a emotional toddler running around.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:28) I have a good example for this. (13:29) We just got a new client who he, I'll keep it as anonymous as possible because I don't want to give too many things away, but he's in the service world where he has a company that does like plumbing and HVAC and a bunch of other stuff. (13:42) And they, they are so above and beyond what everybody else does.(13:47) So they'll call you 30 minutes before they come to your house.

Alan Lazaros

(13:50) Nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:51) And they'll ask if you want coffee. (13:53) Like they are so next level where they literally are trying to take care of you as much as humanly possible. (13:59) That's the type of, that's what you want.(14:01) You don't want.

Alan Lazaros

(14:02) He has high conscientiousness. (14:03) Super, super. (14:05) And he's going to be very successful.(14:06) He's already very successful.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:08) He's trying to rebuild the lack of conscientiousness that has been in that industry for mechanics. (14:14) That's another one. (14:15) Like if you ever go to the mechanic, I'm sure so many of us have had a bad experience because maybe that person was not conscientious.(14:24) Doctors are different, but I think we all have, we've all had negative experiences there. (14:28) Think of the places that you go. (14:30) I think Chick-fil-A is one of the best examples of this.

Alan Lazaros

(14:33) This is good. (14:33) Yeah. (14:33) A hundred percent.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:34) They do very well. (14:35) They do very well. (14:36) They're super wise.(14:37) Not anything.

Alan Lazaros

(14:38) Yeah. (14:38) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:38) Don't connect me to anything else other than the fact that when I roll through there, if I had an oil leak, they would get under my car and fix that thing. (14:46) That's just up there. (14:47) Now I've, I don't go often.(14:50) I go like once in a blue moon, maybe.

Alan Lazaros

(14:53) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:53) I've never got the wrong thing. (14:55) They've never forgotten anything. (14:56) Yep.(14:57) And if it takes two minutes, they apologize. (14:59) You go to McDonald's every time something's missing or I have more than I'm supposed to, which I'm, I appreciate that. (15:05) They're usually not super happy.(15:07) The fries are cold. (15:09) Like, yeah. (15:09) So it's just not as, you're paying, oftentimes you're paying for conscientiousness.(15:15) When you go to a nice restaurant, you're paying for, they have access to the same ingredients. (15:19) Everybody can get the same ingredients.

Alan Lazaros

(15:20) Brother, we, we pulled this up last thing because I know we got to jump here. (15:23) Yeah. (15:24) We have a relationship talks coaching client, uh, to a couple and they're having a newborn.(15:29) And we have a framework we created with them, the Ritz Carlton versus motel six. (15:36) A hundred percent. (15:37) And we pulled up the images on Google night and day.(15:40) Oh yeah. (15:40) Night and day. (15:41) And do you want a Ritz Carlton life?(15:45) And how do you get that? (15:47) How do you get that? (15:47) And here's the thing too.(15:49) I don't mean necessarily in terms of money. (15:51) I mean, in terms of how you operate in your life. (15:54) And at the end of the day, I know I'm on the extreme end of this.(15:56) So I want to make that as clear as possible. (15:58) But if you don't take your life seriously and you don't take your career seriously, I'm not going to hire you. (16:04) I'm just not.(16:05) And most people that have successful companies, imagine going into a Ritz Carlton where you're spending $700 a night and they're like a mess and half of them are drunk. (16:16) Most of them don't show up on time. (16:17) The coffee's disgusting.(16:20) The restaurant is 50 minutes late with your meal. (16:23) You would be like, fuck this. (16:25) Are you kidding me?(16:26) I'm out. (16:27) And so conscientiousness, you're absolutely right, is what people pay for. (16:31) But they don't say that.(16:32) It's not like, hey, I'm going to the Ritz Carlton because they're very conscientious over there. (16:36) However, underneath, underneath, underneath, underneath, that is what you're paying for. (16:39) And I do think that we have fun on this podcast.(16:42) And I've told Kev, I said, I want this podcast to be fun and warm and loving and playful. (16:46) It can't be that first. (16:48) It needs to be serious first, serious people in the real world, making real impact.(16:54) People who want to do the work and we can be fun and funny. (16:58) But I don't want to be a couple of clowns out here. (17:00) I can't do that.(17:01) But I also, I mean, we've made some jokes and we have fun and we have a good time and my lights are fucking crazy. (17:06) But ultimately I do, I think it needs to be, we take life very seriously. (17:11) We take our company very seriously.(17:12) We take this mission very seriously and we can have a fucking blast along the way.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:17) Boom. (17:18) All right. (17:18) Speaking of conscientious, we have to hop because we're going to record another episode to make sure we don't miss an episode because we want to do an episode every day for the rest of life.(17:24) As always, we love you. (17:25) We appreciate you. (17:25) Grateful for each and every one of you.(17:27) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(17:33) Keep reaching for your full potential. (17:35) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:37) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (17:40) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(17:43) We mean it when we say family. (17:45) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (17:49) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(17:52) Thank you again. (17:53) And we will talk to you tomorrow.