A Deeper Dive Into Fulfillment (2283)

Why does fulfillment feel so hard to define, and even harder to maintain?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan break down why personal development without alignment eventually stalls. Fulfillment is not a reward for working harder. It is the result of consistent decisions, honest self-awareness, and staying committed to meaningful work long after the excitement fades. This episode is for anyone focused on self-improvement, consistency, and long-term growth, not quick motivation. It challenges how you think about progress, pressure, and the choices you make when no one is watching.

Press play and measure your growth by who you are becoming, not what you are chasing.

Learn more about:
Join our private Facebook community, “Next Level Nation,” to grow alongside people who are committed to improvement. - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700

Where learning turns into action. Join our “Next Level Book Club” every Saturday:
https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJMkcuiupjIqE9QlkptiKDQykRtKyFB5Jbhc

The “Next Level Hope Foundation” creates meaningful experiences for kids growing up without a father figure and builds a positive, supportive community around them.
To support this event, you can donate here: https://gofund.me/5c6abcf7f

_______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:08) The question that reveals fulfilled seasons
(4:39) Conscientiousness as the root of fulfillment
(5:24) Eustress Vs. Distress and sustainable growth
(6:55) Why fulfillment is recognized in reflection
(10:31) Fulfillment across past, present, and future
(14:13) Why hard things become meaningful over time
(15:06) Quitting Vs. Regret and identity cost
(17:12) Commitment to mastery and the long game
(19:32) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:08 The question that reveals fulfilled seasons
• 4:39 Conscientiousness as the root of fulfillment
• 5:24 Eustress Vs. Distress and sustainable growth
• 6:55 Why fulfillment is recognized in reflection
• 10:31 Fulfillment across past, present, and future
• 14:13 Why hard things become meaningful over time
• 15:06 Quitting Vs. Regret and identity cost
• 17:12 Commitment to mastery and the long game
• 19:32 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If you gave me a million dollars to sell somebody on fulfillment, I still am not entirely sure I could do it. (0:06) I'm bought in, I'm fulfilled, I understand the importance of it. (0:10) I still struggle, going back to yesterday's episode, to describe it and explain it and then to get somebody to go through all of the pain that usually leads to fulfillment.

Alan Lazaros

(0:21) Meaning is not something that you can typically show off. (0:24) It's not sexy, it's not shiny, it's not something you can show on social media very well. (0:31) But meaning brings fulfillment.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:33) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:36) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:38) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:41) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:47) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:54) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:10) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:16) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:22) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2283. (1:29) A deeper dive into fulfillment.(1:30) So we said we were going to do a part two because I think this is one of those really important concepts and really important conversations, but it's really hard to talk about it and get it to land because there isn't really, to Alan's point, a visual example of it because I don't know. (1:47) Do I look fulfilled? (1:48) Maybe, but I probably also look overwhelmed and you don't see most of the stuff behind the scenes, so I don't know what to do with it.(1:59) I got a way to sell it, I think.

Alan Lazaros

(2:01) Okay, let's hear it. (2:02) Love it. (2:04) Selling fulfillment round 5624.(2:08) All right, there's a question I ask clients all the time. (2:11) I just got a new client and I said, when were you the most dialed in? (2:18) When were you on fire?(2:19) You were productive, you were exercising, you felt good about yourself, you were dialed in, you were on fire. (2:27) Everyone has a season in their life that was just the best. (2:31) They were fucking the best version of themselves and the reason why, to give you context, I was doing this is we're creating her habit tracker and I'm trying to, my job is to help everyone dial in and reach their full potential and then success is usually a byproduct of that, eventually is the key word.(2:49) She talked about a time in her life when she was dialed in. (2:52) I did this with a client earlier too, two different clients and I said this to another one, this is a different client, I know you're probably listening brother, and I said, we went back on his Facebook and we went back to old photos of him and I said, brother, you looked healthier here. (3:09) You looked not healthier physically, healthier mitochondrial health, like vibrant, you looked vibrant, you looked fulfilled.(3:20) That photo that I post of me at my most miserable, I was at a party, yes, I might have looked happy, but I didn't look well. (3:32) I think when you see someone who's fulfilled, they look really well, they have high self-esteem, they have high self-respect, they have high self-discipline, which leads to self-esteem and self-respect, they are dialed in. (3:50) If I say, think of a season in your life, listener, Kev, think of a season in your life where you were the most fulfilled.(4:00) At no point in time are you going to think about the time in your life when you were drinking and you were a mess and you were late to everything and you didn't really like your job and you were partying on the weekends and you were sleeping around, no. (4:16) So those things seem fun for a weekend. (4:24) Hey, we burned down the house this weekend, we did it, whatever, raised the roof, I don't know.(4:31) We got after it, we ran amok. (4:34) That's fun and the stories are fun and funny for a weekend. (4:39) But when you think about a season, think about a three-month period, 90-day period, when you were the most fulfilled, I guarantee you it was a time of high conscientiousness, high goal achievement, you were dialed in, you were meditating, you were reading, you were listening to personal development, you were going to the gym, you were exercising, you were consistent.(5:00) What about stress though? (5:01) What's the connection between fulfillment and stress? (5:04) Well, what's your and distress?(5:09) What's your perspective? (5:12) You stress and distress, that's my perspective, mine and the science. (5:16) But you're stressed right now and I think you're over, I think you're fulfilled.(5:20) Can you explain you stress? (5:22) Just for those who might not know. (5:24) So you stress is, the idea is there's destructive stress and constructive stress.(5:29) So you stress would be me trying to hit a PR in the gym last night during push day. (5:34) It was very hard, I was pushing it and I was definitely stressed. (5:41) But that's a constructive eustress where you get positive brain chemistry, you're in flow, you feel good about yourself, you're challenged, but you're not going to get injured metaphorically.(5:50) That's eustress. (5:51) Distress is trauma and drama and horseshit and a bunch of stuff. (6:00) Like distress would be, ugh, I posted this thing and my aunt made a comment and it found a fuck with me and he said, she said and fuck, like that's distress.(6:16) And I think that eustress is productive, flowy, constructive habit forming growth stress. (6:24) So on one side it's growth stress, on the other side it's drama and trauma and distress. (6:29) I think I'm distressed currently.(6:31) Which is why you and I talk, kind of why we're doing this. (6:34) You're fulfilled on the macro, but I think you're in too much distress. (6:37) We just talked offline about how this is not sustainable.(6:41) Yeah, definitely not.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:43) I am, that's the thing though, like I don't know, it's hard because the thing that always, the thing that I always struggle with, with explaining fulfillment is, you don't, I don't get it in the moment, I get it in reflection. (6:55) Like after, during a hard day, I said this to you last week and I said this to Taryn, there was two days in a row where I said this might have been like one of the harder days I've had in business over the last nine years. (7:08) Nothing crazy, nothing bad, nothing, it just, just so many things to move to make sure that things are going where they need to go and not dropping any of them.(7:17) Emilia and I talk about grinding yourself into a fine pulp. (7:20) I feel pulpish.

Alan Lazaros

(7:22) Do you like your orange juice with pulp?

Kevin Palmieri

(7:25) Pulp-free, only pulp-free, get those chunks out of here. (7:30) Consistency is a thing for me, I don't, I get the consistency thing. (7:33) I don't know, in the moment, I don't feel like...(7:39) When did you feel like it was constructive? (7:43) Sunday morning, I got up, went to the gym at 6.30, it was snowing. (7:49) Hundos?(7:50) Hundos for six. (7:52) I saw that, strong. (7:53) That, but that wasn't it, that was, that was good, I enjoyed that very much, I feel strong.

Alan Lazaros

(7:57) No wrist traps on them?

Kevin Palmieri

(7:59) No. (7:59) Thick wrists? (8:00) Thick.(8:00) My wrists would snap right off. (8:02) I call them wrinkles, it goes from my forearm, I don't have wrists, it just goes from my forearm to my hand, it's weird. (8:07) Why do you call them wrinkles?(8:09) Because you know how people say cankles, cankles, mine are wrinkles. (8:13) And I own that shit, so you want to say I have wrinkles, feel free. (8:17) Came home, I made breakfast for Tarrant and I.(8:21) Nice. (8:22) And I had this moment when I was cooking it where I was like, this is fucking awesome. (8:25) Like I had a great productive week, I just had a great workout, things are great, I feel really good.(8:31) And there's nothing, there's like no place I'd rather be than cooking breakfast for my wife right now, this is the best. (8:36) And then Monday, and then Monday comes and it's like, fuck this, this is brutal, and we're back here again and this week is nuts and I have so much to get done before next week and I'm going to see a client in person, which I never do, it's just. (8:52) Where are you going again, Florida?(8:53) No, no, no, Danvers. (8:54) I'm going, I'm staying in, well, I'm going to Massachusetts. (8:57) So like.

Alan Lazaros

(8:57) Aren't you going to Florida again soon?

Kevin Palmieri

(8:59) At some point, probably next month. (9:02) Probably January is my guess, maybe January. (9:05) Nice.(9:06) Maybe, maybe not. (9:07) I don't want to go, really. (9:10) But that's the hard thing is I don't, the example I've used on podcasts because this does land, Tarrant and I have had times where we're lazy on a Sunday, it's like we really should go for a walk.(9:22) We're not going to be happy getting up and doing it. (9:26) It's probably not going to be the most pleasure filled thing, but when we get back, we will be fulfilled. (9:31) Did you get snow up there?(9:33) Yeah, yeah. (9:34) It's nice. (9:35) First snow?

Alan Lazaros

(9:36) No, no, first snow, we got six inches last week. (9:40) It was not really, it didn't do well down here. (9:45) That was like the first real snowball snow.(9:48) Oh, see, we didn't even get that, we got like an inch up here.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:50) Yeah, we had a good snow. (9:52) It was awesome. (9:53) I like it.(9:54) I like it as well. (9:55) I like the first snow. (9:56) Well, you don't leave, we don't leave the house, so that's helpful.

Alan Lazaros

(9:59) I did leave the house. (10:00) Oh, sorry. (10:01) No, no, that's all right.(10:02) Rarely, rarely. (10:03) Okay, fulfillment, fulfillment, fulfillment. (10:06) Meaning, fulfillment, Sunday, you had a meaningful day where you could breathe.(10:12) Yeah. (10:13) With a lot of enjoyment, but also you stress. (10:17) Reflection.(10:17) I think it requires reflection, but you can be fulfilled without reflecting. (10:29) I think it's past, present, future. (10:31) I think it's time perspective.(10:32) Saturday, you had nine calls back to back. (10:35) Yeah, that was a heavy one. (10:36) You were fulfilled in the middle of the day?(10:37) You were like, fuck yeah, this is great. (10:39) Yes, let me explain, yes and no, real quick. (10:43) All right, all right.(10:44) As you're crawling up the stairs, this is awesome.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:47) I love this.

Alan Lazaros

(10:49) Well, so I have another one of those today, kind of. (10:54) I actually do, okay, I do green, yellow, red on my calendar. (10:59) I have one, two, three, four, five.(11:01) Five greens, two red. (11:04) Red is podcasting, yellow is training, coaching is green. (11:09) I like one-on-one coaching a lot.(11:10) It's better for me, I like it better. (11:13) Okay, no, I don't enjoy it. (11:18) And it's deeply meaningful work and I love getting better at it.(11:24) And when I'm done, just like the walk with Taryn, I'm always glad I did. (11:29) Very rarely do I get off with a client. (11:32) There are many times when I am about to get on with a client where I'm like, depending on the client, honestly.(11:39) Not all clients are created equal, it is what it is. (11:41) Some people, it's like pulling fucking teeth to keep them on track. (11:44) It is what it is.(11:45) Okay, other people, it's a goddamn honor and a pleasure. (11:49) Please be in that group if you're listening and you're one of my clients. (11:53) But at the end of the day, it's my job to help them be more successful.(11:56) Okay, nine back-to-back Saturday. (11:58) No, I wake up and I go, okay, all right, how am I going to do this? (12:02) Okay, let's go, let's get it.(12:06) There's a few points within the day where it's like, fuck this, for sure. (12:11) The fuck this moment's happened. (12:14) And there's nothing better than a Saturday night after you crushed the most productive and effective week of all time.(12:23) That is what I live for that. (12:26) Because to me, it's about mastery. (12:28) It's about, I want to put more on the court than I ever have before.(12:33) I want to make, in 2026, I want to make everything we accomplished in 2025 look like a fucking joke. (12:40) And I'm proud of who I am as a man, past, present, future. (12:44) I'm, you and I have been reflecting lately.(12:46) I've been doing Facebook memories, speeches, and the first, third episode you and I ever did together. (12:51) Okay? (12:52) Yeah.(12:54) And the third episode Kevin and I ever did together, I posted on my story, and it is nothing short of alarming. (13:02) We had some good ideas though, didn't we? (13:04) We did.(13:05) And here we are, 2200 and whatever this is, 83. (13:11) When you reflect on the past, you should go, hell yeah, I've come so far. (13:16) When you think about the present, you should go, okay, I'm challenged.(13:19) This is really hard, but it's deeply meaningful. (13:22) When you look at the future, you should go, oh yeah, baby. (13:25) I'm climbing the right mountain and I'm making progress and my goals and dreams are possible.(13:31) And if you have those three things, I think you are going to be fulfilled, even though your day-to-day life will be seemingly sucky.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:39) That's why it's so hard to sell because it is, it's hard. (13:42) It's like, uh, I watch weird shit on YouTube and I'm relaxing. (13:48) This is on the higher end of weird shit that I watch.(13:50) There's this, I think he's like 19, this 19-year-old dude from Hawaii who took this little sailboat across the, gotta be Pacific, from, oh man, Hawaii to, uh, I don't remember the islands he went to. (14:09) Something Polynesia, French Polynesia, I don't know. (14:13) Seemed like a terrible experience.(14:14) It seemed terrible. (14:17) The dude wasn't sleeping. (14:18) He couldn't sleep because he was so nervous.(14:20) The water kept coming up and it kept pouring into his cabin and getting his sleeping bag and his mattress soaking wet. (14:26) So he couldn't sleep. (14:27) I'm sure when he looks back, he's going to say, wow, that was incredible.(14:30) That's one of the most fulfilling times I've ever had. (14:32) Yeah, for sure. (14:33) But in the process.(14:34) Terrible. (14:35) It was probably 80% terrible and then 20% gratitude. (14:40) And I, I don't know how to explain it in the process because I'm convinced if you don't do it for long enough, it's not going to be fulfilling.(14:48) Agreed.

Alan Lazaros

(14:49) That or, okay, let's talk about that briefly. (14:52) I know we got to go. (14:55) What situation would have had to happen to him where he doesn't look back and think it was fulfilling?(14:59) He doesn't, he, he either dies, obviously, or he fails.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:05) He fails at what? (15:06) He doesn't make it. (15:06) Sorry.(15:06) No, he quits. (15:08) I wouldn't even say he fails. (15:09) He quits and decides, you know what?(15:10) Fuck this. (15:11) I'm going back. (15:11) That's not fulfilling.(15:13) That is not fulfilling.

Alan Lazaros

(15:14) No, it's not. (15:15) Okay. (15:16) And if that's the case, then he will reflect back.(15:20) In that post I did recently, I thought about that because I, it was a speech that came up for me about nine years ago. (15:27) And I tried to create a meaningful, inspiring post, but I was thinking about it while I was writing it of how many people get to look back on something they wanted to achieve nine years ago and actually say they've achieved their dream, like a lot of their dreams. (15:44) Doing this was our dream.(15:46) For sure. (15:47) And a lot of what we're succeeding at right now at one point was a dream. (15:54) What would we think if, like, what would I think if I quit or whatever?(15:58) I mean, dude, I don't even, I mean, I would just look back and think, what? (16:01) Regret, probably.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:04) Yeah. (16:06) That's the, that's the thought I can't, God. (16:09) I can't imagine quitting and then watching you do this and then be like, I used to do that.(16:15) I can't, I can't even fathom it. (16:16) Like if anything has kept me on this journey, it's that I know I would regret it for sure. (16:21) Yeah.(16:22) That, that's a great episode right there. (16:23) And then like all the questions, you know, you go to a family event, people are like, how's business? (16:29) Oh no, no, I quit.(16:30) I left. (16:31) Fuck that. (16:32) You know, I'm down doing whatever now.

Alan Lazaros

(16:34) You come up with a story as to why and well, the economy and right. (16:37) I would know that it's not the truth. (16:40) We do an, we should do an episode on honesty with self.(16:43) I know we got to get out of here, but yeah, we used to do reverse engineering regret and there's a dark side to that too. (16:49) But I do think what you did is you go into the future because you've obviously talked about quitting. (16:56) No, no, no, no, no, no, no.(16:59) Okay. (16:59) I've definitely thought about like, Hey, can we do a different way?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:02) I definitely want that. (17:03) But there's never been a moment where I was like looking for jobs. (17:06) Like that's never happened.

Alan Lazaros

(17:07) No shit. (17:08) Well, then we are the worst people ever to tell this the same.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:11) Yeah, yeah. (17:12) But I also know I would regret it.

Alan Lazaros

(17:14) So I don't, I don't think we're the worst.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:15) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(17:15) You know, you'd regret it. (17:16) So you go into the future and imagine that moment of people being, Hey, how's the podcast going? (17:22) Uh, and what would it be?(17:25) Shame? (17:25) Are we avoiding shame?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:26) Yeah, I'd be so embarrassed. (17:28) I'd be, I'd be, there'd be so much shame. (17:31) But at the end of the day, who gives a shit about what other people think?(17:33) It's not because I would know deep down.

Alan Lazaros

(17:36) Ah, fuck. (17:37) I should have stayed with that. (17:38) Probably.(17:38) Huh? (17:39) Do you have anything like that? (17:41) Because I actually don't really have a lot of things.(17:43) I regret staying too long on things, brother. (17:45) I don't have a lot of like things I gave up on, to be honest. (17:49) Not really, but maybe I'm just better at justifying them.(17:52) Is there any of it? (17:53) Like I say this with clients, I always say, who's the one that got away? (17:58) You know, Taryn was the one that got away, but I got her back.(18:00) Nice job.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:01) I got her back.

Alan Lazaros

(18:03) Maybe that's another episode. (18:05) It probably needs to be because we got to go. (18:06) But I don't have anything in the past.(18:11) Okay, Campus Libre, I technically got fired. (18:15) The CEO and I had like a four-hour crying sesh falling out. (18:19) And the company went out of business, which I knew it would.(18:23) And even though it was very promising, pissed me right off. (18:26) But I don't think I've ever quit. (18:30) It's not like I quit.(18:31) That one thing that helped me in that moment, that was one of the hardest days of my life up to that point. (18:37) I had the, I didn't quit. (18:40) There's a big difference between being fired after giving it everything you've got.(18:45) And then I didn't let myself down, you know? (18:50) I do. (18:51) And I think that that's probably an episode we could do.(18:53) But we might be terrible at teaching that because...

Kevin Palmieri

(18:56) Well, I think sometimes the best lessons come from experience and reflection. (19:00) So we might not have the answers, but we do have our experience. (19:03) And if you're out there...

Alan Lazaros

(19:05) Maybe that's a fear you and I are both running from. (19:07) The fear of letting ourselves down. (19:09) For sure.(19:09) Maybe that drives us more than we realized.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:12) I don't think it drives me more than I realize. (19:14) I think I'm really good at utilizing that. (19:16) That would be a good episode.

Alan Lazaros

(19:17) I don't want to look back and regret not giving it everything I had. (19:21) Same. (19:22) That's got to be one of the reasons.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:24) All right, we're gonna do an episode on it. (19:25) We'll do an episode on it. (19:26) We got to get out of here.(19:27) Nexalvination, book club, all the stuff. (19:29) We appreciate you. (19:29) Please join all of the things if you have not yet.(19:32) As always, we love you. (19:32) We appreciate you. (19:33) Grateful for each and every one of you.(19:35) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(19:41) Keep reaching level by level to your full potential. (19:45) Nexalvination.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:46) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (19:50) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(19:53) We mean it when we say family. (19:55) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (19:58) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(20:02) Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.