Finding The Most Important Tasks (2303)

What if your lack of progress has nothing to do with effort and everything to do with focus?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan challenge how most people think about productivity, progress, and focus. They break down why tactics alone rarely move the needle and why clarity, self-awareness, and pattern recognition matter more than effort. This conversation is for anyone who feels busy but stagnant, disciplined but misdirected, or consistent without seeing proportional results. It reframes how to identify what actually drives outcomes in business, health, and relationships, and why fewer, better decisions compound faster over time.

If you are ready to stop confusing motion with progress and start aligning your time with what truly works, listen closely. The leverage is not hidden. It is waiting for you to choose it.

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

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Email:
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LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:52) Why tactics fail without clarity
(5:43) Self-awareness as the starting point
(8:46) Setting realistic, measurable goals
(9:26) Identifying the true 20 percent
(10:54) Doing less to create more results
(14:17) Using data instead of opinions
(17:11) Improving within what already works
(20:46) What to measure when starting out
(27:22) How outcomes build belief
(37:15) Focusing time, effort, and money correctly
(39:15) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:52 Why tactics fail without clarity
• 5:43 Self-awareness as the starting point
• 8:46 Setting realistic, measurable goals
• 9:26 Identifying the true 20 percent
• 10:54 Doing less to create more results
• 14:17 Using data instead of opinions
• 17:11 Improving within what already works
• 20:46 What to measure when starting out
• 27:22 How outcomes build belief
• 37:15 Focusing time, effort, and money correctly
• 39:15 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I realize after yesterday's episode that we didn't really give the amount of tactics I would like.ould like. (0:06) I know Alan thinks tactics are useless. (0:08) I think they're super useful, so we're going to dive into that today a little bit.ittle bit.

Alan Lazaros

(0:13) I don't think tactics are useless.less. (0:14) I think tactics are less important than deeper understanding.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:18) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:21) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.ieri. (0:23) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.arus.(0:26) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:32) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:39) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:55) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:01) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:07) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2303, Finding the Most Important Tasks. (1:14) It's always hard when we do an episode like we did yesterday on the Pareto Principle, because it's hard to do an episode without giving specifics if we don't know what your specifics are. specifics are. (1:26) And obviously, we can our own unique version of that, but I don't know how you teach that.that.(1:31) So my goal in today's episode is to pick Alan's brain, because Alan has helped a lot of people figure out what the most important tasks are, what's the 20% that will get you 80% of the results.of the results. (1:40) And I'm just going to badger him, for lack of better phrasing, to try to figure that out. out. (1:46) So why did badgers get the wrong rep?(1:49) Because honey badgers don't give a shit.shit. (1:51) You ever seen that video? (1:52) No.(1:53) Honey badgers are some of the most badass creatures. (1:57) They fight cobras and shit. (1:58) They don't care about anything.hing.(2:00) They don't fight anything.hing. (2:02) So that's why. why. (2:04) Yeah, they're badasses.sses.(2:06) We should make a movie on that. (2:09) Yeah, Next Level Studios, that'll be the first one. one.

Alan Lazaros

(2:13) You want to own a production company that produces movies? (2:18) No. (2:18) I got hit up on LinkedIn recently.(2:20) Hey, do you ever invest in indie films? (2:22) No. (2:24) But for the right one?(2:25) Just low budget? (2:26) Is that what indie means? (2:27) Yeah.(2:28) Yeah, it means low budget. (2:29) Most likely going to fail miserably. (2:33) Yep.(2:34) Pass.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:34) For that reason.

Alan Lazaros

(2:35) You might as well say, hey, do you ever invest in most likely to fail films?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:41) Look, Home Alone, one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time, low budget. (2:45) I, two million, right? (2:46) I don't remember what it was, but it was low budget.dget.(2:48) Even that's a lot of money.oney. (2:49) Okay. (2:52) How, where does somebody start?(2:54) They come to you and they say, hey, I want to, let me ask you this. (3:00) What is the most common request you get when you get in a coaching call with somebody for the first time?

Alan Lazaros

(3:12) They have goals, specific goals that they want to hit. (3:15) So I think ultimately that's why they're there is they want to achieve something specific that they don't believe they can achieve by themselves. by themselves.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:32) Most common bucket, health, wealth, or love? (3:35) Wealth. (3:36) These days it's wealth.alth.(3:37) It used to be health. (3:39) Okay. (3:40) When I was a fitness coach, it was obviously health.(3:42) What questions I come to you and I say, hey, Alan, I heard you on a podcast and I heard the thing about you coach. (3:51) I'm here to kick the tires and see what's what.27;s what. (3:53) What questions you ask to figure out what's the 20% for them?them?

Alan Lazaros

(3:59) Okay. (3:59) The first one is, I ask questions that get me to know where you are now.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:07) So where you're starting from.from.

Alan Lazaros

(4:08) Where you're starting from.from. (4:09) Yep. (4:09) Okay.(4:10) So I have one new client, I'll keep it anonymous.mous. (4:12) What is your current revenue? (4:14) Or if you're not a business owner, what's your current gross income?ss income?(4:20) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:21) Good. (4:21) Okay. (4:23) And what is that information?(4:25) What are you gathering from that information? (4:27) Obviously you're getting the number, but you're also determining- I'm understanding where they're at now in their journey.ow in their journey. (4:33) In their awareness?(4:34) Not necessarily. (4:35) Okay. (4:36) I mean, yes.(4:37) If they say, I don't know, right?ight?

Alan Lazaros

(4:39) If they say, I don't know what that number is, obviously that's an awareness to you that like, okay, there's- If they don't know what that number is, that tells me a lot about why they're not successful.y're not successful.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:49) Okay. (4:50) Okay. (4:50) Good.(4:54) What else do you want to know? (4:55) What else do you- Not even want to know. (4:56) What else do you need to know in order to guide them effectively?

Alan Lazaros

(4:59) This is good. (5:00) Okay. (5:00) So the metaphor, again, I have to do this.(5:03) And I know you've heard me say it before, but the metaphor for coaching, the best one I've ever heard is the self-driving car.iving car. (5:10) And I look forward to when everyone experiences that because it will be- There's a TV.a TV. (5:15) Imagine you're in a Tesla, whether you like them or not, the metaphor.phor.(5:20) There's a TV in the car. car. (5:21) That's your mental map. map. (5:25) I get into my garage.(5:28) It automatically has plugged in the gym. (5:31) Emily and I get in and we click a button. (5:34) And it pulls out of the garage and drives us there.(5:37) I don't have to touch it.h it. (5:39) Okay. (5:40) Now, the Tesla needs to know three things at all times.(5:43) And same with me as a coach. (5:45) It needs to know where it is relative to other things. (5:49) So it doesn't run into the garage or other cars or trees or whatever.ever.(5:54) Okay. (5:54) So that's self-awareness.ness. (5:56) Where are you now?(5:57) Where is it now? (5:59) Okay. (6:00) Then it needs to know a destination location.(6:02) It needs an accurate address. (6:03) Because if you don't plug in the address, it just drives around.ound. (6:07) It doesn't- It just starts driving.ving.(6:09) It's actually pretty reckless.less. (6:11) Where does it go? (6:11) It just keeps going?(6:12) It just goes. (6:13) Yeah. (6:14) It just keeps going straight forever in perpetuity.(6:18) Yeah. (6:19) It's been- Yeah.Yeah. (6:20) It's like, oh shit, we forgot to put the address in.s in.(6:21) Just drive right past our turn. (6:24) So a destination address is a goal. (6:27) Clear, specific, measurable goal.(6:30) And then it needs to know updated terrain. (6:33) So it needs to know updated roads. (6:34) It literally shows a mental map of an aerial view of the Tesla and everything around it.(6:41) And all the houses and trucks and roads and sidewalks and everything. (6:45) And if there's a cyclist, it'll show a biker going by. going by. (6:48) And that's all your brain is doing.oing.(6:49) It's simulating reality.lity. (6:50) There is no reality. (6:51) There's only your perception of it.f it.(6:53) And I try, in coaching, my job is to get everyone's mental map to be as accurate as possible.ible. (6:59) Okay. (6:59) All right.(7:02) Because otherwise they drive, they take a wrong turn, don't get the result they want, and then blame themselves.lves. (7:08) When in reality, the real thing to blame is poor thinking. (7:11) Where do you start?(7:13) Because you need a direction to start the strategy. (7:18) 100%. (7:18) You need a goal.(7:20) You need a goal. (7:20) You need a destination address. (7:22) Yeah.(7:22) Okay. (7:22) Yes. (7:23) And then you need to know where you are now.(7:25) Yep. (7:25) And then you need to know how to bridge the difference.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:28) That... (7:29) Where do you start with the bridge? (7:30) Because it's almost not going to be very accurate.rate.(7:33) You can only... (7:37) You can aim in the right direction, but you don't know exactly where you're going yet.going yet. (7:43) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(7:44) So we'll use you, live.live. (7:46) Okay. (7:46) What did you do last quarter for gross revenue?(7:49) I don't know.know. (7:51) $82,000, I think. (7:52) $80,000, we'll say. say.(7:54) No, that's this quarter.rter.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:55) Oh, last quarter.

Alan Lazaros

(7:55) What did you do in Q3? (7:56) I honestly don't know.know. (7:58) $65,000 maybe?(7:59) Okay. (7:59) You do know. (8:00) You don't know exactly, but you know a percent error.rror.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:02) You do realize that... (8:03) No, I wrote it down somewhere. (8:05) I swear.(8:06) And then I was like, then it just goes.

Alan Lazaros

(8:08) Okay. (8:09) $65,000 is your best guess. (8:10) Yeah, let's say $65,000.,000.(8:11) Okay. (8:11) And you did $80,000 this quarter. (8:13) Yes.(8:14) Okay. (8:14) So $80,000 times $4,000 is what you can prepare for next year. (8:19) Yeah.(8:20) Assuming you don't get worse.orse. (8:22) Now there's a chance you lose clients or whatever.ever. (8:25) So it could be worse.(8:26) It could be better. (8:27) So everything is based on best case, worst case, most probable case. (8:31) And would you say it's possible for you to do $80,000 in Q1 of next year?year?(8:35) Yes. (8:36) Because you've already done it, right?ight? (8:38) Do you think $90,000 is possible?(8:40) I didn't think $80,000 was, so yeah.yeah. (8:42) Okay. (8:42) What about $100,000?(8:44) Yeah, that's pushing it.g it. (8:45) Okay. (8:46) So what I would do is get you to set a goal for $90,000.(8:50) Because $100,000 is pushing it, $80,000 is easy. (8:53) Okay. (8:54) And then I want to start Paretoing that.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:58) That. (8:58) Okay. (9:00) So imagine somebody is self-diagnosing here.(9:06) So what am I looking at? (9:08) Okay. (9:09) I made X amount, $80,000 last quarter.(9:11) Awesome. (9:12) Cool. (9:12) Great.(9:13) Then what? (9:14) What are we looking at? (9:15) You increase it by a certain amount.(9:18) No, get over that. (9:18) Done there. (9:19) Goal set.(9:20) Goal set. (9:21) Now we're looking into the past for patterns.erns. (9:26) Yeah, exactly.

Alan Lazaros

(9:26) What am I looking for? (9:28) Okay. (9:28) What did you do to earn $80,000?(9:31) Give me three behaviors.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:34) You went to a mastermind. (9:35) I went to a mastermind. (9:36) I went on other podcasts.(9:38) And I got a bunch of referrals through good service. (9:43) Nice. (9:43) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(9:44) What of those three do you think is most important? (9:47) If you get this wrong, I'm annoyed.oyed.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:48) Good service.

Alan Lazaros

(9:49) Nice. (9:50) Okay. (9:50) That's the 80%. 80%.(9:53) That's the 20%. 20%. (9:54) So if Kevin wants to earn $100,000 next quarter, where you should spend most of your time is doing good service with existing clients, which brings referrals. (10:06) And existing clients wanting more services.(10:08) Right. (10:09) Which is hard because that seems like... (10:12) And then we would dig into what does good service look like?(10:15) Yes. (10:15) And then we'd put that on your tracker and I'd make sure you fucking do it.ing do it.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:18) Well, yes, you would. (10:19) But okay. (10:19) Going back to the point, this is good because this connects so well to the original episode, what people mean when they say less is more.(10:27) I'm doing less.less. (10:29) We literally just sent a message yesterday to all the podcasts. (10:35) My apologies in advance if I was supposed to be in your podcast.(10:37) All the podcasts up until Q2 of 2026 saying I'm not...ot... (10:42) Kevin's not going on any shows right now. now. (10:43) Because he's servicing the current existing clients that we have.have.(10:49) It seems like I'm doing way less, but I'm doing way more of one thing.one thing. (10:54) Yeah. (10:54) Way more of the more leveraged thing.

Alan Lazaros

(10:58) How do you know? (10:59) And I just got off air with you talking about my next quarter, which is going to be mostly one-on-one coaching. (11:05) Yes.(11:06) I want to do more one-on-one coaching and less of everything else. (11:09) How do you know?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:14) We had a conversation, I don't know, maybe halfway through the year.year. (11:19) And I said, dude, I need time. (11:22) I need behind back office time.(11:24) I need my calendar blocked. (11:27) I knew that because I was getting spread thin and I knew... (11:32) I just knew because I guess, I don't know, I've been doing this long enough where I know.re I know.(11:36) I don't know if I would have known that though at the beginning.ning.

Alan Lazaros

(11:39) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:40) I don't know if I would have known what was bringing...ng... (11:43) I know. (11:43) ...the results. (11:44) So where do you start? (11:45) Do you just go through and say, okay, what are the top 10 behaviors I practiced last year? (11:51) That, we can't leave this fucking episode until we get that.that.

Alan Lazaros

(11:58) The new metaphor is now there's more than one Tesla.esla. (12:05) And you're a fleet of Teslas that are all trying to get to the same destiny.tiny. (12:09) You know what I mean?(12:09) So it complexifies exponentially the more team members you have. (12:13) Because one of the things that I think is really hard for me to explain right now is if it wasn't for you focusing more of your time and effort on servicing existing podcast production clients, I wouldn't be able to focus more of my time and effort on one-on-one coaching because they feed each other.ach other. (12:31) But let's make it as simple as possible.ible.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:34) Right? (12:34) As simple as possible. (12:38) I'm a good example, but I'm also not because it makes it too complicated.mplicated.

Alan Lazaros

(12:43) Right? (12:44) Okay. (12:44) Okay.(12:45) So you're assuming that this person doesn't have a whole company?e company? (12:47) No, one person. (12:48) Because if you have a whole company...(12:50) No. (12:50) Every piece on the chessboard affects what every other piece... (12:54) One person.(12:55) Is optimal.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:56) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(12:56) Just one person. (12:56) Yeah, the layers of complexity are fucking crazy. (12:59) Yeah, yeah.(12:59) But yeah, I want it as simple as possible. (13:01) One person. (13:02) Well, then let's use a different one person.rson.(13:05) Like what's a goal that one person would have for 2026?2026?

Kevin Palmieri

(13:10) Let's say...ay... (13:10) Let's reverse engineer it right now. now. (13:12) In 2025, they wanted to get 15 clients.(13:15) They got eight. (13:17) Their goal in 2025 was to get 15 clients. (13:19) They got eight.(13:22) They're going...ng... (13:24) They're posting on social media.edia. (13:26) They're doing three things.ings.(13:27) They're posting on social media.edia. (13:28) They're asking their friends if they know anybody that could find value.alue. (13:32) And they're fucking sending mailing...ng...(13:35) They're sending mailers to people.ople.

Alan Lazaros

(13:38) Okay. (13:41) Okay. (13:41) So then the conversation would be...(13:44) You got eight in 2025? (13:46) Is that true? (13:46) Like eight new clients in 2025?(13:48) Okay. (13:49) How did you get those eight? (13:52) And then you'd think about where each one came from.from.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:56) Yep.

Alan Lazaros

(13:57) And you'd think about why they chose to work with you. you. (14:00) And you can't go off what they tell you. you. (14:04) You have to go off what makes sense.(14:07) And that's the hardest part.part.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:08) But the simplest thing is you would say, okay, you got... (14:11) This person found you on social. (14:13) Yep.(14:13) This person was a referral.

Alan Lazaros

(14:14) I did this yesterday, two days ago, with someone who wants more clients. (14:17) Her goal for Q1 of next year is to get 20 clients. (14:20) She has 17 now.(14:21) She needs three more. (14:23) I said, okay, of all the 17 clients you've gotten to date and all the ones before...re... (14:28) Because it's not like...ke...(14:29) It's sort of like a mall.mall. (14:30) 100 people come into the mall. (14:31) 30 come into your store.(14:33) 10 of them buy multiple things. (14:35) Three of them freaking work there. (14:38) One of them like is a...

Kevin Palmieri

(14:40) Steals all your shit.

Alan Lazaros

(14:41) Yeah. (14:41) One of them takes off with all the goodies. (14:46) But that's the metaphor.phor.(14:47) But the point, to keep it narrow here, is I said, what are the top three strategies that got you the 17 in hindsight? (14:56) She said Instagram DM conversations, Facebook DM conversations. (15:00) And then I don't think we got to the third one. one.(15:03) But the 20% is those two. (15:06) And I know why. (15:07) She has a very, very, very strong credibility on those two platforms.(15:14) She has a very enviable life. (15:18) And I think that drives people to... (15:21) She's a person of significance on those platforms.orms.(15:23) For sure. (15:24) So you're looking at patterns.erns. (15:25) Always.(15:26) 24, 7, 3, 65.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:27) So it's essentially based on the results that you got with the data you can measure, what brought you that?that?

Alan Lazaros

(15:39) And then what would be a way we improve that? (15:41) Frequency, intensity, density, duration. (15:43) Meaning, how many more DMs can you send?(15:45) How much better can you get at sending them? (15:47) And how much better can you target the people you send them to? (15:50) And then what can you do to build more credibility on those platforms?(15:54) Okay. (15:54) So let's say the first one was...as...

Kevin Palmieri

(15:57) It was what? (15:58) Instagram DMs. Instagram DMs. Instagram DMs, Facebook DMs. And then let's just say the third one was LinkedIn.edIn. (16:04) LinkedIn, perfect.(16:06) Essentially, in its simplest forms, Pareto principle is, hey, fuck LinkedIn. (16:12) You got zero people from LinkedIn. (16:15) I need you to take all the time you were putting in LinkedIn and put it into Instagram.(16:18) And now you have more time for both Instagram and Facebook.

Alan Lazaros

(16:21) Correct. (16:22) Now, the deeper layer, if we want to do the 20% of 20% would be, why do those work better? (16:30) And the reason why is because she has a great presence on those two platforms.(16:34) She is definitely a person of significance on those platforms. (16:36) Okay. (16:37) Then the deeper layer is it builds trust.(16:40) Underneath credibility is trust. (16:42) And then the deeper layer is envy. (16:44) She has a very enviable life and people are drawn to that for whatever reason.(16:48) Well, envy is the drug that we all desire for sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:52) Or not at all, but I understand. (16:54) Most people, most people. (16:54) All right, all right.(16:56) Okay, okay. (16:58) So set a goal, reflect on results and the patterns that brought those results. (17:07) Get granular with the effort that you put in versus the results that you got.

Alan Lazaros

(17:11) And then brainstorm new, better strategies within that bucket though. (17:17) Okay. (17:18) Okay.(17:20) How do you know when to cancel? (17:21) And then mitigate constraints, which is like, why didn't you, why aren't you sending more DMs? more DMs? (17:25) Well, I don't have people to message.sage.(17:26) Okay, well, why not? (17:27) Because I'm not posting on social media.edia. (17:28) Okay, well, why not?(17:30) And then you go into, well, because I'm fucking scrolling on TikTok for an hour a day. day. (17:33) And then it's like, listen, figure it the fuck out. out. (17:36) Okay.(17:37) Zoom out, zoom out real quick, zoom out.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:39) Sorry. (17:39) No, that's good.good. (17:40) It's all good, it's all good. all good.(17:42) I apologize for cursing. (17:45) If you've never done the thing before, you don't have the patterns to look back on, how do you start?you start? (17:52) Yeah, you brainstorm what might work.

Alan Lazaros

(17:54) That's it, right?ight? (17:55) And, or you read a book or watch a YouTube video on how to do something. (18:00) It's the exact same process as, hey, my audio quality is a little off. off.(18:06) Let me research this lapel mic and let me try a different one. (18:10) It's the trial and error.rror. (18:11) Trial and error is, the scientific method is, I think this will work.(18:16) Let me give it a shot. (18:17) But you don't have to blindly do that.that. (18:20) Like, you don't have to get hit by a car to know to look both ways, right?ight?(18:23) You need to research first. (18:27) And I think the problem is most of that research is going to ruin it for you, I think. (18:39) You said conversions more than value.(18:41) I think that's actually a big issue.ssue. (18:43) It is a big issue. (18:43) Back in the day, the issue used to be, what am I going to do?(18:47) Go to the library and figure out how to... (18:49) You couldn't find it.d it. (18:49) Now, there's too much information and most of it's wrong.7;s wrong.(18:53) Most of it's lying.ying. (18:54) Here's why. why. (18:55) If I make it sound easy to make six figures in your own business, I'm more likely to sell you on my coaching.hing.(19:02) Yes. (19:03) But if I make it sound easy, I'm also lying to you because that's not actually easy for 99% of people.of people. (19:10) So most of what's on the internet at the top of the business model, this is why one-on-one coaching is so valuable.able.(19:15) Behind the scenes, I can tell you the whole truth and I can customize it to you and your circumstances. (19:21) I had a client once who I heard through the grapevine had a bunch of debt. (19:25) She lied to me, said she was debt-free.(19:28) And I remember saying, that sucks because I would have changed everything I told her to do. (19:33) If Kevin has a mountain of debt, everything he does and doesn't do from this moment on needs to shift.hift. (19:40) It's predicated on your current circumstances and your goal, where you are now and where you want to go.o go.(19:45) If either one of those changes, you have to change everything you do and don't do.t do. (19:50) And I think that the reason why podcasting is so hard for me isn't because it's statistically hard.ally hard. (19:57) It's hard because I can't customize it to the listener because we have so many different types of listeners.listeners.(20:02) What is optimal for you is completely customized based on where you are now and where you want to go. (20:09) And the time perspective in between. (20:12) And the moment you shift where you are or where you want to go, everything, literally everything has to mathematically change.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:19) Well, I think a good place to start for anybody is to look for patterns. (20:23) Yeah, for sure. (20:24) And I honestly, though, the problem is, I think you have to start by tracking something.(20:28) So like one of the things I was going to talk about... (20:31) Measure.

Alan Lazaros

(20:32) How do you know what to measure though?

Kevin Palmieri

(20:34) That's another conversation.tion. (20:35) Honestly, I think in the beginning, you don't.27;t. (20:37) But you start measuring something and you can gather patterns from things, even if it's not the right thing to measure.sure.(20:42) And then hopefully it'll help you. you.

Alan Lazaros

(20:46) What I would do to make this simple, measure whatever it is that you want for an outcome and measure whatever it is you're doing.oing. (20:54) Those two. (20:56) So measure the goal.(20:59) So 10 pounds in 10 weeks. (21:00) You measure the weight on the scale and then you measure what you do and don't do.t do. (21:05) Do, just do.(21:06) So if you want to do 10 pounds in 10 weeks, you'd measure your scale, the scale each day, and you'd measure how many workouts you do and how many days you track calories. calories. (21:17) Yeah. (21:18) Honestly, the better one would be how many calories you ate.(21:21) I have someone right now, shout out to you, who I said, I'm certain I can get you to 180 pounds.unds. (21:27) 10 out of 10. (21:28) It's just math.math.(21:29) She's like, well, hormone.mone. (21:30) No, you're wrong.rong. (21:31) I love you.(21:32) Appreciate you. (21:32) I'm certain I'm right.7;m right. (21:33) Watch.(21:34) I'm 10 out of 10 certain.tain. (21:36) And when it happens, she'll believe me more.more. (21:38) She'll trust me more.more.(21:38) And we'll up the ante.ante. (21:40) She's like, I haven't been 180 pounds for a decade. a decade. (21:42) I don't give a shit.shit.(21:43) I don't care.care. (21:44) It's easy.easy. (21:45) We got this.(21:46) But now here's the key. key. (21:48) And this is what I need to share. (21:49) She sends me her calories every day.(21:51) And then I sent her a new daily target the next day. (21:53) Every day. (21:54) It's actually annoying.ying.(21:55) With love. (21:55) I know you're out there watching.hing. (21:56) It's annoying.ying.(21:57) I don't want to do this.this. (21:58) But I have to show her that this is actually easy. (22:02) It is mathematically easy, simple.(22:05) It's not easy to do it.o it. (22:06) But it's mathematically simple.mple. (22:08) And anyone who believes that it's not math, you're wrong.;re wrong.(22:14) You're inaccurate.rate. (22:15) The scientific method works. (22:18) It is just math.(22:22) And I know that that sounds... (22:24) People get so upset. (22:25) It's like, listen, do you want the truth?ruth?(22:27) Or do you want to keep pretending that it's something else?else? (22:30) Well, we've talked about that at length.ngth. (22:33) All right.(22:34) So she sent me her calories Tuesday, December 30th, yesterday. (22:39) Which is not yesterday in today's episode, right?ight? (22:41) But it's the 31st during this recording.ding.(22:44) She went over by 10. (22:45) I said, okay, your new target is $3.99. $13.99. Because the day before, she was over by 9. (22:53) So, no.(22:54) The day before, she was under by 24. (22:57) I can't...;t... (22:58) Yeah, yeah, yeah.(22:59) You know what I'm saying?ying? (23:00) Yes, yes. (23:00) The point is, if you go over by 10, you have to go under by 10 the next day.(23:04) And then you have to keep doing that. (23:06) And if the scale is moving in the right direction at the right rate, you don't change anything.hing. (23:10) The moment it's not, your metabolism is tanking.king.(23:12) Now you have to increase exercise or decrease caloric intake. (23:15) Listen, if you didn't understand a word I just said, at least you understand the principle.iple. (23:19) It's all math.math.(23:21) Everything in life is math. (23:23) Even love, dude. (23:25) There's a bid system.stem.(23:26) If I am mean to Emilia every day, it's going to destroy my relationship.ship.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:31) Well, even one of the examples you've used in the past for the Pareto principle is if your partner's love language is acts of service, and you're like, you know, kissing their neck 24-7, and that's not...d that's not... (23:42) That doesn't work for them.them.

Alan Lazaros

(23:43) I don't know why you landed on that.that. (23:46) But that's the thing.hing. (23:47) I mean, there is a leverage point.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:48) Yeah, there is a love language that, if you do 20% of the time, equates to 80% of the feelings that they're going to have.have. (23:53) Like, that's a piece of it too. too.

Alan Lazaros

(23:55) That's what our relationship talks coaching is.g is. (23:57) I feel like it's hard to sell because...se... (23:59) And again, it's not that hard.hard.(24:00) We have a lot of clients. (24:01) I'm grateful.eful. (24:01) But it's not as valued as it should be because I can't explain that.lain that.(24:07) Like, literally, if anyone's out there near the brink of divorce, I'm almost certain I can get you to, like, flourishing.ourishing. (24:14) Almost certain. (24:15) And yeah, it might be like, hey, you guys probably should break up.(24:18) But, like, at least you know that you made the right choice. (24:21) Well, because... (24:22) I know that that sounds so arrogant, but, like, I have five years of couples after couple after couple after couple.(24:28) There's patterns that are just undeniable.able. (24:31) And most of the time, it's usually a love language that's completely neglected and or a lack of humility, courage, or vulnerability.erability. (24:39) Like, that's the Pareto.reto.(24:41) But the problem is, like, we have one client. (24:44) They got married. (24:45) Another client just had a baby.(24:47) Like, they're flourishing.hing. (24:49) But no one sees the check-ins every freaking week where we're, like, dialing in the strategy and the numbers and we're Pareto-ing the hell. the hell. (24:57) I Pareto the hell out of my relationship.(25:00) Dude, I know exactly what fills Emilia's cup. cup. (25:04) And I know exactly what doesn't.27;t. (25:06) And I'll give you guys an example.mple.(25:08) Early on, I used to bring her roses. (25:11) And she said, Alan, I don't like watching plants die. die. (25:15) And I was like, oh.(25:16) I did this, like, a bunch of times. (25:18) I was going out of my way to get her a red rose to show her that I... (25:21) What an idiot.(25:22) She doesn't like that.that. (25:23) Buy me a fucking plant. (25:24) Perfect.(25:25) Right? (25:26) Now I've bought her freaking 50 plants over the last six years.ears. (25:30) Yeah.(25:30) So you just need to learn. (25:33) But you have to be humble. (25:34) And you can't just do the same thing assuming that it's something...mething...(25:37) What if I blamed, like... (25:39) What if I was like, oh, well, all women love roses. (25:44) That's called an arrogant idiot.diot.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:47) Or it's this one. one. (25:48) This is a cheap rose. (25:50) I got this one from the gas station.(25:51) But obviously, it's not good enough.ough. (25:53) Because it's $8 instead of $16. $16. (25:55) Like, no, that's not the case.case.(25:56) That's not the issue.ssue. (25:57) Or it's a Wednesday.sday. (25:58) I only like roses on Friday.(26:00) It was a gas station one.

Alan Lazaros

(26:02) Yeah. (26:03) Back when Emilia lived, when we first started dating, it was a gas station right near her, had red roses. (26:07) Don't knock the gas station roses.oses.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:09) You know it. (26:10) That is the hard thing. (26:11) And I know we got to hop here in a couple minutes.(26:13) You usually don't learn the formula until you're deep enough into something.something. (26:18) Not even failure. (26:19) Because I didn't learn the formula to a good speech until I became a speaker.aker.(26:24) There's no...no... (26:24) Why the fuck else would I learn it? (26:25) It doesn't make any sense.ense.

Alan Lazaros

(26:26) I know. (26:27) But you wouldn't learn it until you had a goal.goal. (26:29) Yeah, yeah, yeah.(26:30) Like, you had a speech. (26:33) You had a goal to become a speaker, remember?

Kevin Palmieri

(26:36) But I didn't learn it till later.ater. (26:39) It wasn't even then.then. (26:39) It was, like, eventually.

Alan Lazaros

(26:41) You kind of learned it a little bit. (26:43) You practiced your speech seven times before the first one. (26:45) I practiced it, but I didn't know the actual formula.mula.(26:50) Yeah, there is a formula. (26:51) Right? (26:51) Now you know it.(26:52) Three-act structure. (26:53) Yeah. (26:54) There's a formula for everything.hing.(26:56) Do you have that belief now? (26:58) There is a formula to Emilia's heart.eart. (27:00) There just is.(27:01) And there's a formula to mine.mine. (27:03) It's actually pretty simple.mple. (27:04) Right?(27:05) Give me some food and a good movie. (27:06) Like, that's 10 out of 10 for me.r me. (27:09) Everyone is that way.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:10) But there's a big piece of the formula that is communication and vulnerability.lity. (27:14) Like you said, that until you go there, it's really hard to know what the formula is.a is.

Alan Lazaros

(27:22) Yeah, success is outcome-based. (27:25) And I realize that self-belief is built through deciding in advance to get an outcome and then proving to yourself you can get it. (27:38) And it's this conundrum where if you don't believe in your ability to get the outcome, you won't set the goal.t set the goal.(27:44) Then you won't Pareto.reto. (27:46) Then you won't ever believe in your ability to set the goal.goal. (27:49) So you're just stuck.tuck.(27:50) You're in this stumble-upon stuck place where you don't get to design the life you love. you love.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:56) Well, it's almost like you have to get going at something and then kind of like be wildly dissatisfied with your results enough to say, I really have to figure out...ut... (28:07) I think Pareto... (28:10) Optimizing always comes from being dissatisfied about your current results, even though they're better than they've ever been.ever been.(28:15) But it's not enough to get you where you want to go.o go. (28:17) It's always the part...rt...

Alan Lazaros

(28:19) This is why the next level always matters to me more than the current level. (28:22) This is why you never see me celebrating the current level, because I'm always optimizing for something far greater and far farther in the future.ture. (28:31) So this is just a stop along the way.(28:34) And I guess for you, that feels different because it's farther than you thought you'd get.x27;d get.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:41) For me, I'm not...ot... (28:43) I don't feel like I'm playing with house money, quote-unquote.e-unquote. (28:45) I know that's something I've said before.id before.(28:47) It's different than that now, I think.hink.

Alan Lazaros

(28:49) But if I drive from here to California, you're not going to be shocked that we went through Wyoming, you know?know? (28:54) I think that that's like a good metaphor.phor. (28:56) And for anyone who doesn't know geography, it's terrible, especially for global podcasts. podcasts.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:00) But if I only think the car is going to get us to Connecticut...

Alan Lazaros

(29:04) Yeah. (29:05) I'm going to be mind blown.lown.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:07) Yeah, for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(29:07) And when you get to Wyoming, you might be like, holy shit, these mountains are beautiful. (29:12) Everything's different than you think.hink.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:13) I had no idea. (29:13) Right. (29:14) I was talking to Tyrone the other day, like, dude, I am a better human because I got to go to Scotland.(29:20) Like, that changed my life. (29:21) Some of the places we drove, it was like, I can't even believe this is fucking real.real. (29:24) This is insane.

Alan Lazaros

(29:26) It was way better than I thought. (29:28) Last piece of this. (29:30) This comes down to simulation.(29:31) I was on it with a client not long ago. (29:32) And I said, well, when I say Wyoming, what comes up for you? (29:37) She was like, nothing.(29:38) Well, first I said us, like, you know, mountain goats and antelope and mountains. (29:43) She's like, no, nothing comes up.s up. (29:45) I was like, oh, I know this is going to sound weird to people, but like, I don't have to travel to Scotland to travel to Scotland.land.(29:54) I'm in Scotland right now. now. (29:56) Okay. (29:56) I'm walking.king.(29:57) All right. (29:57) What's the link?link? (29:57) I have to be on the wrong side of the road.(29:59) The roads are really narrow for some reason. (30:01) Yeah, they're brutal.utal. (30:01) It's beautiful.iful.(30:02) At the end of the day, I have a ton of data from people who have traveled there. (30:06) And I also have a ton of footage, drone footage. (30:09) And we have a big projector, 115 inch, where we travel everywhere virtually, obviously.(30:15) And I just have a mental map. (30:17) Like, I don't, I didn't choose to stay in Massachusetts because it's where I was born and raised.orn and raised. (30:21) I chose to live in Massachusetts because I do believe it's statistically the best for what I value.alue.(30:27) And a lot of people don't really, they think that you need to go experience it yourself in order to, my mental map will change when I go to Scotland.land. (30:40) Okay. (30:40) It'll be maybe bigger and better than I thought, or worse than I thought.ught.(30:43) But it's, it's not like I'm suddenly going to have, oh my God, I had no idea how beautiful it was.autiful it was. (30:48) Like, of course I know. (30:50) You just research it.(30:52) Yeah, but I researched it before I went. (30:53) And it was better in person, right? (30:55) It's like the Rockies.kies.(30:56) The Rockies were wild. (30:57) They really were. (30:58) But it's not like you're going to go to the Rockies and be shocked it's beautiful.27;s beautiful.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:03) No, no, no. (31:04) I just think, I watched a video the other day on, uh, you know, the mountain K2?

Alan Lazaros

(31:10) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:12) I watched a video on that and somebody was like summiting it. (31:16) And the view from the top, it was like, Jesus Christ. (31:19) I can't even imagine what that is.t is.(31:21) And in person it would be so much better. (31:23) It would be the most insane. (31:25) For some reason I've been into mountain climbing lately on YouTube.Tube.(31:27) Cool.

Alan Lazaros

(31:28) Do you, this is a question. (31:31) The simulation piece. (31:33) I found out recently from some clients that they're not simulating that often.ften.(31:36) I think due to massive anxiety, I probably simulate more than you think. (31:41) To, to, to bring certainty. (31:43) Yeah.(31:44) To, to produce. (31:46) So you seem, but what if you simulate the wrong thing? (31:48) Like, what if you're going to give a speech and you simulate bombing?bing?(31:51) I think that helps me prepare properly. (31:54) Right. (31:54) But it's not the reality.lity.(31:56) It's not like effective simulation.tion. (31:58) Effective simulation is what the Tesla does. (32:02) Yeah.(32:02) Yeah. (32:03) Where it's like your simulation is there's bears coming out and clawing windows off the Tesla.the Tesla.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:08) It's subjective versus objective.tive. (32:10) Like that isn't what you can decide.cide. (32:12) That's a car. car.(32:13) That's a bicycle.ycle. (32:14) I don't know what the audience is going to be like.like.

Alan Lazaros

(32:17) Yeah. (32:17) And this is why kids are so unintelligent. (32:19) They just don't simulate accurately.tely.(32:22) I can't.27;t. (32:23) Remember in Home Alone when the, the freaking stove in the basement starts. (32:28) Yeah.(32:28) It's like that.that.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:29) I was terrified of the basement when I was young.

Alan Lazaros

(32:31) I was too. (32:32) Yeah. (32:32) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:32) I used to run up.

Alan Lazaros

(32:34) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:34) Same.

Alan Lazaros

(32:35) When I was a kid. (32:35) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:36) You get to a certain point where it's like, okay, I have to run now. now.

Alan Lazaros

(32:38) My back is to the monsters.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:39) It makes no sense, right? (32:40) I know.

Alan Lazaros

(32:41) I know. (32:41) Aren't you supposed to outgrow that though?ough? (32:43) Like between you and me?(32:45) I think that, yeah. (32:46) Not just that, but that principle, right? (32:49) There's a time where you're done being afraid of planes because you're not a child No, never.hild No, never.(32:54) No. (32:55) Dumb as shit. (32:57) Dumb as shit.(32:58) What would it take for you to overcome that? (33:00) I am flight simulator. (33:03) No, I don't know.know.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:04) I don't know.know. (33:04) Exposure therapy. (33:06) Like being in a plane.(33:07) Yeah. (33:07) If I went in a plane every day for a year, I'm sure by the end of the year, I'd probably be.obably be. (33:11) And I'm good.good.(33:11) Like I told you can't do that with everything.hing. (33:13) I know. (33:13) I told Aaron, my flight to and from Toronto was like the best.(33:17) It was, I was fine. (33:18) It was, it was so nice. (33:20) So yeah, I'm kind of there.here.(33:22) But I'm, I, I have moments where my butt clenches and I get sweaty.eaty. (33:27) That didn't clip that.that. (33:28) That's that right there.here.

Alan Lazaros

(33:29) We should do an episode on exposure therapy at some point, because all it is, is. (33:35) Expose yourself to a little bit. (33:37) Yes.(33:37) Of the thing. (33:39) You know, if you're afraid of Heights, you don't have to go skydiving, but you might want to look over a hill.er a hill. (33:45) And then, you know, if you're afraid of planes, don't, don't get on a 24 hour flight like that.ight like that.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:49) Exactly.

Alan Lazaros

(33:50) Yeah. (33:50) Get on a two hour flight. (33:51) I would say even less if you can work your way up.(33:53) Same with podcasting too. (33:55) Like everything. (33:56) When I listened to some of those speeches that are on my Facebook memories of the day, it's very clear that I, number one, I don't know what the audience values.ce values.(34:04) That's very clear.lear. (34:05) The other piece is I can tell I was less, I was probably trying to be more motivational.

Kevin Palmieri

(34:14) Yeah. (34:14) Same. (34:16) Yeah.(34:16) I was doing it for the, I think in my mind it was like, I'm going to make, I want this to be a clip.clip. (34:21) I'm going to say something that's going to be a clip for social media, as opposed to I'm going to say something that's actually like really going to facilitate change here in the room.ge here in the room. (34:28) I don't feel that way, but I think that's kind of how I was thinking. thinking.(34:33) Yeah. (34:33) To a detriment probably.

Alan Lazaros

(34:37) And then the last piece I would say to all of this is as you get older, you hopefully reflect on all the past patterns and then improve them. (34:50) And that's why I send you all those.hose. (34:53) What did I send you recently?(34:54) I sent you like the credit card. (34:56) I honestly, dude, I have most of your messages are unread. (35:00) Oh, I send, there's this Instagram account history, something, and they show all like credit cards in the eighties when they were first invented.nted.(35:08) And it's such good perspective.tive. (35:10) It's even 30 years ago. ago. (35:15) So her parents are what, 60 and 57 or something like that.(35:20) So my mom was born in 1960. (35:22) Her dad was born in 65. (35:25) Life was so exponentially different for them.(35:29) I was talking to Emily about this. (35:30) We'll get out of here after this.this. (35:32) There is a lot of pressure on us that I want to talk about for a second.(35:37) If you back in the day, think about like early nineties, granted you and I were fucking three, but imagine being, imagine being our age in the nineties for a second. (35:47) When you go away for a week, there's no like you're away.7;re away. (35:51) You're just away.away.(35:53) There's no, oh shit, I'm falling behind.ng behind. (35:57) Oh, I'm not on social media.edia. (35:58) I'm not relevant.vant.(35:59) The competition has become very, one of the reasons we work every day. (36:04) Isn't just because I want to, it's because that's what's necessary to separate yourself nowadays.e yourself nowadays. (36:10) And I'm not saying to do that no matter what, like that's our sort of thing. of thing.(36:14) But, but what I will say is you can't just like, there's, there's 195 countries. 195 countries. (36:22) There's 8 billion people on planet earth.arth. (36:23) There's almost 6 billion on the internet.rnet.(36:25) And that's increasing.sing. (36:26) You can't hang out and win anymore.more. (36:29) That's not, you can pretend to hang out and win and lie about it for sure.sure.(36:33) But like, my point is, is back in the day, you actually could just work, you know, 25 hours a week and you can afford a home cause they were only 10 grand. (36:42) I'm joking, obviously.usly. (36:43) But like my mom and stepdad bought our home for like less than a hundred grand.(36:50) When we sold it, it was like $600,000. (36:53) And I think we got ripped off, quite frankly. (36:55) I think it was worth more.(36:56) And so everything is different. (36:58) And I wonder if we're like conceptualizing all that.that. (37:01) I think it's hard to, again, without perspective, it's hard to cause her, her parents, uh, and again, Vicki and Nate, huge fan. huge fan.(37:11) Love ya. (37:12) They think we work too much. (37:14) And of course they do.(37:16) But you don't understand.tand. (37:18) This is a different, most of what you and I have built is on the internet. (37:21) There's nothing tangible.ible.(37:24) I said, that's very different.rent. (37:26) I said that didn't even really exist.xist. (37:28) Barely in 1994, Jeff Bezos with amazon.com was looking for $20,000 investment for crazy 5%, at least to the company. (37:36) And everyone was like, what's the internet?rnet? (37:40) And they said, no, most of them, which was a huge L big L.

Kevin Palmieri

(37:45) I said that to somebody today. (37:46) They're, they're a couple. a couple. (37:47) We, we started working on them recently and they, I don't know how many businesses, they have several businesses between the two of them.them.(37:53) And I was like, isn't it interesting how all the business stuff, you know, does not matter at all. all. (37:56) Almost in like the digital. (37:58) I mean, it does, but it's different.rent.(37:59) And they're like, it's fundamentals are the same, but the digital age has completely changed it.hanged it. (38:04) Like the way you get out of here, you're going to get out of here before Alan gets into the fucking global economy.nomy.

Alan Lazaros

(38:09) You know, I already did. (38:10) I'm kidding.ding.

Kevin Palmieri

(38:11) Um, what, this is Monday's episode, right?ight? (38:14) Okay. (38:15) If you're listening to this and you are a podcaster who wants to grow, scale, and monetize your podcast, we might still have spots open for the next level podcast accelerator starting on Tuesday at 5 p.m. Eastern standard time.time. (38:25) We'd love to have you. you. (38:25) If you are heart-driven, if you're humble, if you're a hard worker and you want to do it for all the right reasons, we'll have the link below.the link below. (38:32) And if you go to the website and there's still spots available, bada bing, bada boom.boom.(38:36) If not, it'll say sold out. out.

Alan Lazaros

(38:37) We will help you focus your time and effort and money on the right things to actually be successful in real life. (38:44) And if you are looking for a coach in 2026, and you want to get around someone who is going to help you increase your standards and stay accountable, reach out. (38:53) It's my favorite work in the world.orld.(38:55) It is my number one, most important priority in 2026. (38:58) And I have 11,982 coaching sessions, trainings, and podcasts under my belt where you want to talk about patterns. (39:08) I know how to help you succeed at a higher level.(39:10) I know exactly how, and I would love to the opportunity to show you that. (39:14) Boom.

Kevin Palmieri

(39:15) All right. (39:15) As always, we love you. (39:16) We appreciate you.(39:17) Grateful for each and every one of you. (39:18) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there. (39:25) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.(39:28) Next Level Nation. (39:30) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (39:34) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(39:36) We mean it when we say family. (39:38) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (39:42) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(39:45) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.