Future You Is The BEST Boss (Hopefully) (2322)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros expose a common breakdown in personal growth that has nothing to do with motivation or effort. It starts with the moment you set a goal and quietly avoid the standard required to achieve it. This episode centers on self-leadership, accountability, and the discipline to act in alignment with who you say you want to become. It challenges the way most people negotiate with themselves, lowers expectations under pressure, and confuses awareness with progress. The result is stalled momentum and eroded self-trust.

If you want results that compound and standards that hold, this episode will force an honest look at who is really in charge of your future. Decide accordingly.

Learn more about:
Your first 30-minute “Business Breakthrough Session” call with Alan is FREE. This call is designed to help you identify bottlenecks and build a clear plan for your next level. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

Ready to level up your podcast? Your first 30-minute “Podcast Breakthrough Session” call with Kevin is FREE. Real podcast growth, built through follow-through. - https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
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Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Show notes:
(2:21) Taking responsibility the moment you set a goal
(6:38) Burnout Vs. Intelligent self-leadership
(10:52) Living below your own internal standards
(18:03) The awareness–implementation gap
(23:13) Building capacity faster than the load
(27:09) Growth through controlled stress over time
(32:48) The two types of regret that shape your future
(36:44) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I am the boss, which feels weird to say, of many people at this point, quote unquote, but I would say I am probably harder on myself as my own boss than I am anybody else on the team. (0:15) Kevin and I talked about this. (0:17) When you set a goal, that is you taking responsibility for everything underneath that goal in advance.(0:24) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:27) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:29) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:32) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. (0:39) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (0:45) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.(1:01) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:07) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:13) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,322.(1:19) Future you is the best boss, hopefully. (1:23) Alan and I were talking and we were talking about how we said we were going to do an episode on the entrepreneur accountability paradox, for lack of better phrasing. (1:33) And then we had a conversation and essentially got to the point where we realized not everybody in the audience is an entrepreneur, but this principle I think can apply to everyone.(1:42) It was your principle, so I want you to explain it and then we'll dive in. (1:49) Yeah, so we all have a past, a present, and a future. (1:53) And I've said it in the past, no matter how hard your past has been, no matter how hard your present is, you have a spotless future.(2:03) And if you start making new choices right now, your future changes, your trajectory changes. (2:10) And in the opening, I talked about how when you set a goal, immediately you need to take responsibility in advance for what it takes to achieve that goal. (2:21) And then hopefully the person you become is more, more capable, more aware, more intelligent, more hardworking, more virtuous, whatever it is.(2:33) And when it comes to this boss metaphor, I want you to, and this is what I said to Kevin LaFaire, I want you to imagine the version of you who is with your boss. (2:47) And this person has some level of authority over whether or not you do or do not get paid, whether or not you do or do not get a bonus, whether or not you do or do not achieve your goals. (3:03) You most likely, if you're like most people, will behave and show up as a better version of yourself when your boss is there than when you're not.(3:15) Here's the problem. (3:16) When it comes to other goals, fitness goals, doing that half marathon, whatever it is, marriage goals, you are no longer around your boss. (3:27) You're your boss.(3:29) No one is holding you accountable but you. (3:33) If you had a friend who broke as many promises to you as you have broken to yourself, how much would you value that friendship? (3:38) I've said that countless times over the years.(3:41) I think your future self should be your boss. (3:45) And I think your future self should be really fucking hard on you. (3:49) And the reason why I say that is because all of us would be better if we had someone to hold us accountable.(3:59) My future self is pretty hard on me. (4:02) I can imagine. (4:03) Yeah.(4:04) And whenever I let myself off the hook for a long time, I get really pissed off and I regretful. (4:17) And I would say sad too. (4:19) Underneath the pissed off is usually sad by the way.(4:21) I'm just using the surface level emotions here. (4:24) But regret, when I got in that car accident at 26 and I had regrets for the way I lived my life, that was my highest self saying, Alan, you fucked up. (4:36) If that was the end of your life, you didn't put it all on the court and you fucking know it.(4:42) That's, I think that, I know mine might be louder, but everybody has to have that. (4:48) Like, you can only F off for so long before your higher self is like, yo, you don't need to be this fucking lazy. (4:57) Like, yo, you don't need to eat that much all the time.(5:02) Yo, you shouldn't get takeout again. (5:04) Yo, you don't need that car payment again. (5:07) Like you don't need to date people like that again.(5:10) I'm not the only one who has this. (5:12) However, I do think I have a very intense version. (5:14) I always say some people have a candle.(5:16) Some people have a bonfire. (5:17) Some people have a forest fire and some people have the sun. (5:20) And I do believe mine's bigger, but I know everyone has that voice.(5:23) Everyone has that voice. (5:25) Like get off the fucking couch. (5:26) Oh my God.(5:27) You're so lazy. (5:29) I know I'm not alone in that. (5:31) I do think it's maybe not that intense.(5:33) I don't know. (5:34) I mean, God, I'm sure I had that to some degree back in the day. (5:40) You had to have.(5:43) And probably it would be surprisingly low though. (5:48) Really? (5:49) I think so.(5:49) Yeah. (5:50) I think so. (5:51) Because this is the thing.(5:54) And this is a pattern that I have. (5:56) And I don't know, maybe this is in common. (5:58) I don't know.(5:58) When I get super, super overwhelmed, I try to proactively like take a breath, like take a minute. (6:04) Give me a minute here. (6:06) So I think I actually ate lunch one day this week.(6:12) Like I actually ate lunch. (6:14) I took a half hour and ate lunch, which I almost never do. (6:17) And that was because I knew this week was going to fucking kill me.(6:20) And it was like, all right, you're not going to get any R and R towards the end of the week. (6:25) Alan and I worked until nine 30. (6:26) I worked 15 and a half hours yesterday.(6:29) I'm on coming up on hour 13 now for today. (6:33) I am proactively trying to make sure I don't burn out. (6:38) So I think there is a, for me in the past, it was always, I gave, I felt like I gave so much that I didn't feel like I had anything else to give now.(6:49) Really? (6:49) Yeah, for sure. (6:51) For sure.(6:52) That's interesting. (6:53) I said this to somebody today because we were talking about like you were maxed out brother. (6:58) Talk to me about 15, 25, 35.(7:02) When you were 15, there's no way.

Alan Lazaros

(7:04) No, no, no, no, no.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:05) When I was 15. (7:06) Okay. (7:07) Talk to me.(7:07) Did you have the self being like, come on? (7:09) No, fuck no. (7:10) When I was 15.(7:12) No, I'm trying to find an attractive woman to meet with. (7:16) I don't, I'm not thinking about much else. (7:19) Honestly, at that point, it's a practice meeting.(7:22) Like there was like, no, there was no 15 brother. (7:26) That's, this is a you thing. (7:30) This is a you thing for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(7:33) 100%.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:33) Always, always pulls on you.

Alan Lazaros

(7:36) 25.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:37) Pulling on you saying, Hey, you're, you're better than this.

Alan Lazaros

(7:39) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:39) I didn't have the, you're better than this. (7:41) No. (7:42) Highest self wasn't like Kev.(7:44) Come on, man. (7:44) No, no. (7:45) I'm telling you, I swear.(7:46) No. (7:47) Seriously? (7:48) No, no.(7:49) That's a me thing. (7:50) I do think everyone has it to an extent. (7:52) You have it now.(7:53) Now I do, but I also am trying to be, I'm trying to be the boss to myself. (7:59) That's like, Hey, I can see that you're like going to crash and burn. (8:02) Like I waved the white flag today and said to Alan, Hey man, I know we're supposed to do three episodes.(8:08) I got one in me. (8:09) Let's do the other two tomorrow. (8:12) I knew this was going to happen at the beginning of the week.(8:14) I tried to prep for it. (8:15) I just couldn't, I didn't prep enough. (8:17) Okay.(8:22) So at 15, this is something that I've contemplated in the past. (8:26) I haven't brought this up in a long time. (8:27) Something, life circumstances.(8:29) So, okay. (8:32) You said a higher, okay. (8:33) You have higher self belief.(8:34) So you set a higher goal. (8:35) You set a higher goal. (8:36) So you have to have a higher standard.(8:37) Okay. (8:38) When you were, um, I really don't know if this is going to work because you were like, no, it's all good. (8:45) Okay.(8:45) Do you think there's anyone out there who isn't a little frustrated with the way they let it go in fitness as they get older? (8:53) I would say if you, if you got it to the point of like really admitting it, I think you'd get, if you got down, I think that's what I'm talking about. (8:59) I'm talking about deep, deep, deep down.(9:01) Like if we talked to 15 year old Kevin and I really got deep with him, you're telling me I wouldn't be able to convince him. (9:06) Hey brother, you're really not doing well in school. (9:09) Like you need to take this more seriously because at the end of the day you're like, yeah, I got A's and B's.(9:13) It's all dude. (9:14) Do you have any idea what your future could have been? (9:17) I don't think it would have mattered.(9:18) I don't, I could be off. (9:20) No, no, if you sat me down, I would change. (9:23) But, but deep down you knew you were fucking up.(9:27) I know. (9:29) No man. (9:32) No.(9:33) So you just thought school was pointless. (9:35) I didn't think it was pointless. (9:37) I just, I wasn't that committed, but I don't, to this day I don't necessarily have regrets.(9:47) That is no. (9:49) If you and I really have a deep conversation about this, like you, should have regrets. (9:55) I would say if, if most people here, let me rephrase.(9:58) I know that's going to come off wrong to the listeners. (10:00) I'm not saying to live in regret. (10:02) No, no.(10:02) I'm not saying like, Oh, you've made it all terrible. (10:04) Like I cried at your wedding because of how impressed I was of what you made of yourself. (10:07) Okay.(10:08) So I'm not saying to regret everything, but saying you have no regrets is just unintelligent because you made some terrible decisions. (10:15) I'm not saying that. (10:16) I'm just saying, I don't know.(10:20) So you're 36 when you're 46, you're telling me you're not going to regret some of the poor decisions that you're making right now? (10:28) I don't know if I'll regret. (10:32) What does it feel like when you regret you get pissed off at yourself?(10:35) Yeah. (10:35) Oh yeah. (10:36) Yeah.(10:36) It's like, brother, you're better than this. (10:37) I don't, you're better than this. (10:39) I get as pissed off at me as you do.(10:43) Okay. (10:44) Let's say you stop lifting and you end up with a dad bod. (10:48) Well, that's different.(10:49) No, it's not. (10:50) Same principle. (10:51) It's the same principle.(10:52) But you're, I'm, that's not going to happen, but you're living, you're, you're living below your own standards. (10:58) That that's what this is. (11:00) So let me explain this so that I don't come off like a dingus.(11:03) Uh, I think when you believe in yourself at a level five, you've set a level five goal or a level six goal. (11:10) You believe in yourself at level five. (11:11) So you shoot for a level six goal.(11:14) I think then you need level six standards in that thing. (11:20) And then when you're inconsistent, when your behavior is inconsistent with the standard you need to hit in order to achieve the goal, you should, you get upset with yourself. (11:30) Of course.(11:30) I'm not, this is a thing for sure. (11:32) I think it depends on circumstances. (11:34) Of course it does.(11:35) But like, if you're a D one athlete and you're acting like a D three athlete and you're, you're sloughing off workouts, you're not doing two a days, you're eating like shit on the weekends. (11:44) And then the game comes and you get destroyed. (11:45) You're at the, after the game, you have regret for sure.(11:48) This is a thing. (11:50) Well, that's how it works in all of life. (11:52) But I, but I don't think you're putting in, I don't think you're weighing circumstances enough.(11:59) I don't think like, dude, I, I wanted to work out yesterday. (12:02) I didn't. (12:04) And you regret that?(12:05) No, I, I was literally on the move from 5.00 AM until nine 30. (12:11) If there's a day, I'm going to take a day off. (12:14) It's going to be that day.(12:15) But you must regret something. (12:18) Maybe you regret doing a day that, that, that that's, is that long? (12:23) Yeah.(12:23) Yeah. (12:23) But that's just fucking what it takes like too bad, you know? (12:28) Yes.(12:28) And no, but there are decisions that led to you doing that. (12:32) Some of those decisions weren't mine necessarily, right? (12:36) But I don't, but they are yours, right?(12:38) Ultimately.

Alan Lazaros

(12:38) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:39) But I don't, I don't regret it. (12:41) Like it just is what it is. (12:43) Will you regret it in five years though?(12:45) And I think this is the conversation too of like, brother, I underestimated what 37 was going to do. (12:51) I'm not joking. (12:53) Like this is harder in fitness than I thought.(12:55) I underestimated. (12:56) I've had to eat the humble pie of being 37. (12:58) I didn't though.(12:59) Yeah. (13:00) I told you have other things that you did, but I told you business, isn't it the same? (13:05) Like you, you underestimated what this would take in business for sure.(13:08) I don't do it. (13:08) I don't know. (13:09) I wonder.(13:10) I had no fucking, no idea. (13:13) Like this, this part of the journey right now is extremely surprising and humbling. (13:18) Cause it's like, I didn't think year nine would be harder in terms of pure input than almost every other year combined.(13:31) Like I didn't, I didn't understand that. (13:33) Like I am extremely humbled by the amount of effort we are putting in. (13:37) Do you not regret how much we, okay.(13:41) Years one, two and three, you and me nine years ago, years one, two and three in this nine year journey. (13:47) You don't regret being so lazy. (13:50) It's, I think it's very hard for me to regret what I didn't have awareness to right, wrong, or indifferent.(14:00) There's a reason. (14:01) One of the things I have the most regret for was the time I made fun of our driver that was talking about how they got 19 speeding tickets or DUIs or whatever, you know, but yeah, I get like, I can maybe it was 19. (14:14) I don't, I don't know.(14:14) It was, it was, it was a lot.

Alan Lazaros

(14:16) It was too bad.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:17) It was insane. (14:18) Yeah. (14:18) The reason, you know, the reason I regret that, cause I knew I should have done better.(14:21) I knew I should have done better. (14:23) There was zero comes down to inner standards and that comes down to inner belief in a given area. (14:29) You regret the fact that you, you know, you should have known better.(14:33) Yeah. (14:34) I don't think I, and I trust someone else. (14:37) Okay.(14:38) What if you didn't though? (14:39) You think, I don't know. (14:40) Would you, you'd regret it differently.(14:42) Maybe probably I regret. (14:44) And again, a lot of the decisions we made weren't all terrible. (14:47) There's pros and cons to all of it, but it was very suboptimal.(14:50) Like I'm annoyed at past Kevin for, for sure. (14:54) Not anything toxic or negative. (14:56) Like I'm annoyed at past Alan too.

Alan Lazaros

(14:58) Like you knew better.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:59) We, I know, but you knew better. (15:01) I didn't know that you didn't. (15:03) I had no fucking clue.(15:04) Brother. (15:05) I didn't know. (15:06) You were the one, you were the one doing the fucking entrepreneur affairs.(15:11) You were the one talking to the CEO. (15:13) You acted like you knew more than you did. (15:16) I had to.(15:19) All right, let's get back to the principles. (15:20) You know how they say dress for the job that you want, not the one that you have. (15:23) That's what I was doing.(15:26) Well, you dress real nice. (15:28) And again, I don't want to pick on you. (15:29) I think you did a great job in many things.(15:31) This just happens to be about the things we didn't do well. (15:34) Dude, I do. (15:36) I knew better on most of this.(15:39) I am. (15:42) My awareness was high enough. (15:45) I didn't trust my intuition and that highest self was saying it for you.(15:49) Maybe it wasn't. (15:50) The highest self was like, I don't know. (15:52) I was just, I don't know about this guy.(15:54) Not you, but like other mentors and shit. (15:57) My highest self was always whispering, dude. (15:59) It was always like, I don't think you should do this with this, this event with this person.(16:03) I don't know if you should go to this place. (16:05) I don't know if you should work with this photographer. (16:09) I, but I didn't, I was like, ah, maybe I didn't trust it enough.(16:13) And the whisper becomes a scream. (16:15) Like, dude, when you were getting a dad bod, you, you're telling me you didn't have that whisper. (16:20) Like, Hey man, Hey man, brother.(16:23) I knew it was going to happen and you just let it go. (16:27) I knew I could get it back, but you'll never fully get it back, brother. (16:31) But it's you and I will never get that time back.(16:33) I know. (16:34) But that time I was putting into growing the business by that. (16:39) But this all comes down to maxing out versus like when you said, what does it mean to reach your full potential?(16:45) It means you put it all on the court. (16:47) It means that you are always up against opportunity costs. (16:50) This, this comes back down to opportunity costs.(16:52) Like, dude, I really believe that a lot of us will end up at the end of our life in a rocking chair, contemplating our past. (17:02) And a lot of us will be like, wow, I really wish I had learned more. (17:06) I wish I had done more.(17:08) I wish I had chased my dreams. (17:09) I wish I had focused on my goals. (17:12) No one in history has ever been like, wow, I really read too much.(17:16) Ah, you know what it was? (17:17) I spent too much quality time with my loved one. (17:20) Ah, you know, what really threw me off is I really did too much deeply meaningful work that fulfilled me.(17:26) You know what it is? (17:27) I invested too much money. (17:28) Damn, I went off the rails when I invested too much money.(17:30) There are certain fundamentals, brother, that you'll never going to regret. (17:35) I'm never going to regret meaningful work that mattered in the world that was profitable, that allowed me to flourish and my family to flourish. (17:44) I regret drinking too much with losers.(17:47) I regret doing things with people that I never should have been doing. (17:51) I regret letting leaders lead me that weren't leaders. (17:55) And I always knew better.(17:58) And I did it anyway. (17:59) And it pisses me off. (18:00) And I feel like everybody, she calls it the AI gap.(18:03) Don't think of AI like AI. (18:05) Awareness implementation gap. (18:07) If you are aware of how to be in better shape and you don't, it will eat you.(18:12) It will eat at you. (18:14) It will. (18:15) If you're aware of how to build a successful business and you don't do it, it will eat at you.(18:20) Your highest future self is saying, Hey, you could do that dream. (18:24) You could write that book. (18:25) You could start that podcast.(18:27) I got a question for you. (18:28) I had a fucking question for you. (18:30) When's the last time you felt like you were just surviving?(18:35) Like, seriously, not I'm going to say it to fit in. (18:38) Like when's the last time Alan Lazarus felt like he was just surviving? (18:44) What do you mean?(18:45) Barely getting through the day. (18:47) Like, dude, honestly, I would say beyond maxed out by circumstance, not by choice. (18:56) One person recently in my life who I trust deeply said, one of the reasons why you struggle with, uh, seeing people squander their potential is because you have a lot of capacity.(19:14) That's a great word for it. (19:15) That's what, yeah, I agree. (19:17) And that's what she said.(19:19) And I was like capacity. (19:21) That's an interesting way to put it. (19:22) She said, what if they don't have the capacity to do better?(19:25) I was like, that's an excuse. (19:28) That's an excuse. (19:29) Everyone has the capacity to grow their capacity.(19:32) I don't care where you are. (19:33) Two year old does two year old goals. (19:36) 20 year olds for 20 year old.(19:37) Like there is no one who's maxing out. (19:39) No one on planet earth. (19:40) No one.(19:42) Pauline, my client lover. (19:44) Okay. (19:44) She was awesome.(19:46) Literally coached her for three months. (19:48) I said, you inspire the hell out of me born with no arms and no legs. (19:51) She has less capacity than the majority of us.(19:55) And she does more with it than most of us. (19:58) That's why she inspires me. (19:59) I have trouble watching people squander their potential and then complain about it.(20:05) When in reality, their life in large part is on fulfilling because of their own poor choices and their lack of ownership of those poor choices. (20:15) Think of someone who is lazy and entitled and they complain that they don't get paid enough, right? (20:21) Many of them.(20:22) Yeah. (20:23) And they, they are in debt buying things they don't need. (20:25) They drive a nice car, even though they're broke.(20:27) Okay. (20:28) They are the problem and they don't take personal responsibility for their own future. (20:35) And their future self is not their boss.(20:38) Their current self who wants pleasure all the time is their boss. (20:41) And we all have a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us, so to speak. (20:46) One of them is disciplined and consistent and has goals and dreams and has, wants to better their best and learn and grow and improve.(20:54) And one of them is lazy and doesn't want to work hard and doesn't want to get up early and stay up late and doesn't want to put in the extra hours and doesn't want be focused and disciplined. (21:03) It doesn't want to read a book. (21:05) The lower self wants to listen to music instead of a book.(21:09) The lower self does not want to listen to this podcast. (21:12) Where's my, you didn't answer the question. (21:17) When's the last time you were just surviving?(21:20) It, I mean, I think the answer is never, but that is hard for me to say because it's all relative. (21:28) Yeah. (21:29) Yeah.(21:29) When you say just surviving, I've, I, that means like starving without enough food. (21:36) Like, what do you mean? (21:37) It means being so far beyond it.(21:41) Honestly, I think it means your, what is being poured on you is way greater than your current capacity that I have felt that so much on this journey so much. (21:54) I feel that right now, like right now, just surviving brother, brother, I am just surviving. (22:02) Yeah, for sure.(22:06) For sure. (22:08) How do you know though? (22:09) Cause that's relative to your own experience.(22:11) Because I, how do you know? (22:13) I always have a finger on the, just surviving is someone who can't get out of bed. (22:16) You're on a podcast, a global podcast right now because this is my version of just surviving, but that's honestly.(22:25) And again, this, please use the way I'm going to say this. (22:29) It'll make sense. (22:30) I don't have the, the, you know, you don't either.(22:32) I don't have the privilege of just taking a day. (22:35) Like that's not, I can't do that. (22:37) Someday I can.(22:38) That means by definition, you have the capacity to be here and to do this. (22:43) Yes. (22:44) But what I'm saying is I'm so far outside of your comfort zone.

Alan Lazaros

(22:50) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:51) When you say surviving, it's like, first of all, none of you and I's problems right now are real problems. (22:59) We have food in our fridge, we have electricity. (23:01) Yeah, but purely from capacity.(23:03) That doesn't, I'm not saying circumstances great. (23:06) I would say that I've worked really hard to always increase capacity faster than I increased the weight of the load. (23:13) However, there are times in my life where the weight of the load was way bigger.(23:17) I had a moment at a company I used to work for called I robot, where I was in a meeting where when I got out of the meeting, I was like, I'm in trouble. (23:25) 21 year old should not be here. (23:27) Like I need to figure this out.(23:30) I'll give you another example. (23:31) I went from the physics award, math wards, you know, guy at the award ceremony that came up, might as well not sit down type of thing. (23:38) There was a few people in our class that got all the awards.(23:40) I was one of them. (23:42) And I went to WPI, which is an engineering school. (23:46) And I was the physics guy in high school that everyone used my labs and my lab reports that cheated off me to like, win that to get a B or an A.(23:54) And when I got to WPI, I was like, Oh, no. (24:00) First three weeks, we were done with everything I learned in high school. (24:04) And I was like, I'm in some trouble here.(24:06) So those those I call them elbows on the knees moments. (24:09) We've talked about it where it's like, how the fuck am I going to do this? (24:12) But they're very rare.(24:14) And I climb out of those really quick. (24:16) I do, like, but that happens. (24:19) Like the marathon the night before the marathon, 26 miles.(24:22) But that was your own doing. (24:24) You did that to you. (24:26) That's that's on you.(24:27) That's not you did that. (24:29) You didn't. (24:30) And that was all calculated.(24:32) But that's true for you now too. (24:33) Less than you think. (24:34) Same exact thing?(24:35) No, less than you think. (24:35) This is all by design. (24:37) You could easily go back.(24:38) Less than you think. (24:39) There's a reason, there's a reason I dieted and I got to my goal two weeks before. (24:44) Because I didn't want that.(24:46) I didn't want that. (24:46) I didn't want the pressure at the end of, fuck, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna hit the goal. (24:51) And I'm gonna have to do something reckless.(24:53) So I don't miss a podcast episode. (24:55) Because whether you know it or not, you set the pace. (24:59) You got to provide context to that.(25:01) Alan and I every it's coming up. (25:04) I'm literally in two weeks, I'm going to start dieting. (25:06) Whether we we start the process or not.

Alan Lazaros

(25:08) I want to do it with you.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:09) Okay, so let's do it. (25:11) Every year. (25:12) No, no, it's I, I get, let me know.

Alan Lazaros

(25:13) No, no.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:13) In two weeks. (25:14) Okay. (25:14) Yeah, I get it.(25:15) We'll announce it in two weeks. (25:16) Then, then we can. (25:17) Yeah.(25:17) Shout out to Louisa, by the way, in the fitness group. (25:19) Shout out. (25:19) Every year we do a 10 pound in 10 week weight loss thing where we sign up and we try to lead the pack in the next level fitness accountability group.(25:27) And we say, if we don't accomplish this by this date, we don't get to record a podcast episode. (25:31) The best inspiration and accountability possible. (25:35) Last two years ago.(25:38) Three years ago? (25:39) I don't even know. (25:40) I think it was two.(25:41) No, it might've been three.

Alan Lazaros

(25:42) It might've been.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:42) It might've been three years ago, man. (25:44) It might've been three. (25:46) Alan, I think like two weeks out, he's like, brother, I'm fucked.(25:50) I'm gonna have to run a marathon. (25:51) I'm gonna have to run a marathon.

Alan Lazaros

(25:53) Dehydrated.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:54) Dehydrated. (25:54) And sweat it out. (25:55) Yeah.(25:56) At that point, I had already hit the goal because I was so paranoid about not, not hitting the goal. (26:01) So I was like, dude, it was four pounds over. (26:03) That's terrible.(26:04) The Thursday before. (26:05) But no, no, it wasn't. (26:06) It was two weeks before.(26:07) I think I'm telling you, I think a piece of this, and this is just how our experiences differ. (26:12) Dude, so much of what I'm doing feels every day beyond what I'm capable of, but I think it actually is. (26:20) It's not like the.(26:21) That's not real. (26:21) That's not possible. (26:22) What do you mean?(26:23) Like.

Alan Lazaros

(26:25) In the physical world.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:26) I just want to make sure you know. (26:28) Appreciate you. (26:29) So not possible means you squat for whatever it was, 415, 420?(26:35) 415. (26:36) 415. (26:37) And you don't get, you don't get it up.(26:39) Yeah. (26:39) You just collapse. (26:41) Crumble under the weight of the load.(26:42) Yeah. (26:42) And hopefully you had the bars available, the safety bars.

Alan Lazaros

(26:47) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:47) Yeah. (26:48) So you collapse, you know, underneath the weight, the weight gets caught by the safety bars. (26:54) That means you actually physically couldn't do it.(26:56) But in goal setting and goals, that's not the same. (27:01) You know what I mean? (27:01) No, I do.(27:02) I do. (27:02) I know. (27:02) You don't reach.(27:03) It's not, it's not the same. (27:05) You can adapt because this is, this is the science of it. (27:09) I'll be brief.(27:09) And I do realize, obviously, that I'm very grateful to have a high capacity. (27:12) I know that this is not going to resonate with everybody. (27:14) All right.(27:15) I do realize, and I'm glad we're debating because. (27:17) Well, regardless, I do too. (27:20) And I think this is an important understanding for everybody is what, well, you know what personal development does?(27:24) It increases your capacity. (27:26) That's what it does. (27:27) It increases your breathwork and meditation and hard conversations and diet and exercise and all that shit.(27:33) Being consistent, that increases capacity. (27:35) And that really is what we're talking about. (27:37) Best metaphor for that is the splits you talked about.(27:40) You do try to do the splits every day for a year, get a little bit better. (27:43) Eventually you can do the splits at the end of the year, but I can't do it right now. (27:47) So when it comes to goals, the reason why squatting, this is the science.(27:51) So there's something called hormesis hormesis. (27:53) You can look this up. (27:55) It means a little bit of a challenge outside of what you're currently capable of is actually good for you too much.(28:02) And it's bad. (28:03) So you stretch the rubber band as much as you can, but don't let it snap. (28:08) The reason why the squat for 15 is such a good metaphor is because that is like acute trauma.(28:14) That's a lot of trauma in a very short amount of time. (28:17) If you, if you snap your knee or tear your ACL or whatever it is, that's called an acute trauma. (28:23) Personal growth is like little T trauma that is by design over time.(28:28) That's why the marathon was so reckless. (28:30) Anyone can run it. (28:31) Not anyone.(28:33) Honestly, very few people, if they trained consistently for years, could not run 26 miles without stopping. (28:39) I'm not saying you're going to win the thing, but you can do it. (28:42) I could do a half marathon tomorrow.(28:44) Genuinely. (28:44) I'm not even training for one. (28:45) I just exercise, but that's you.(28:47) You can't say that. (28:48) And then cross that over. (28:49) I could squat three 75 tomorrow, but I could squat three 75 as well.(28:55) If you gave me four years, I know, but that doesn't make for a good example. (28:59) That was what I'm saying. (29:00) Fair.

Alan Lazaros

(29:00) That's fair.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:01) That's fine. (29:01) If you give me three years, that's not going to be acute trauma. (29:05) That's going to be little T trauma for the next three years so that I don't snap my shit when I try it.(29:11) But I think that when it comes to goals and dreams, brother, it's not like you're going to achieve a dream tomorrow. (29:16) I think I'm accurate in the science and the physics and the math of it. (29:21) I think you're accurate in the people's feelings and emotions about it.(29:25) The human experience of it. (29:27) I think people underestimate what they could do in a decade if they really did optimize their life around it. (29:32) Individuals, teams, and businesses.(29:33) That's what I do for a living. (29:34) It is unbelievable how far you've come, dude. (29:37) If I took 26 year old Kevin and put you in today.(29:42) So I'm going to take 26 year old Kevin, everybody. (29:45) And that version of you is going to be plopped into your life. (29:48) Currently, no, you would have snapped your shit, right?

Alan Lazaros

(29:51) Sure. (29:51) Metaphorically. (29:52) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:52) Shit snaps, but you were always capable of it. (29:54) And I was right, but just nine years later. (29:57) Yeah.(29:58) And looking back, when I tell you how bad I was struggling, like why was I having panic attacks? (30:03) Because you were too far outside your comfort zone too quickly. (30:07) Which I realized.(30:09) I was beyond capacity. (30:10) And then you went all the way back to your comfort zone when I wasn't around to survive. (30:16) That's what I'm saying is, I think as a good quote unquote boss for future self, the future self being the best boss, you got to push yourself beyond what you want to do.(30:27) For sure. (30:28) Agreed that. (30:29) And you got to make sure that you're doing in a constructive way.(30:31) Your level of constructive is just different. (30:34) Okay. (30:36) But the same principle applies for what's constructive for you in squatting is going to hurt me.(30:41) Correct. (30:42) Okay. (30:43) Yeah.(30:43) A hundred percent. (30:43) And you're saying that's the same case with long-term goals and dreams for me. (30:47) I'm saying, I'm trying to get everybody to squat for 15 quote unquote.(30:52) Yeah. (30:52) When they're actually only like they just started squatting and they should probably start with the bar and then that kind of thing. (30:58) That's what you're saying.(30:58) What I'm saying is I'm, I feel like I'm squatting 700 pounds right now. (31:02) Really? (31:03) Yeah.(31:03) Yeah, for sure. (31:05) Yeah. (31:06) Well, okay.(31:06) What's your, this is only going to work for people who really are obsessed with bodybuilding and fitness, but okay. (31:12) What's your one rep max. (31:14) You're not beyond your one rep max.(31:15) Otherwise you would die metaphorically. (31:18) Close. (31:19) I'm maxing out.(31:21) Really? (31:21) It's not just the physical. (31:23) It's like you, I mean, obviously, you know, it's, there's a bunch going on and there, and this is the one thing we kind of said that I would say I'm maxed out holistically, but I'm not maxed out in any one thing.(31:35) I think I'm maxed out. (31:37) I'm more maxed out in business than anything else, which carries heavy weight onto everything else. (31:42) Well, if you're maxing out and you really have been maxing out and not constantly letting yourself off the hook, then you're not going to have regrets.(31:48) I think that's why I don't right now. (31:51) I don't, I'm pumped before when I didn't know. (31:55) No, dude, I, you can't always cop out behind.(31:58) You didn't know there were signs there. (31:59) You didn't do that. (32:00) You did your best, but you didn't better your best.(32:03) I didn't know. (32:04) No, man, I don't have regrets around that. (32:05) No, I would be lying if I said I did.(32:09) Seriously. (32:09) There are, there are certain things. (32:11) There are certain people that you were like, I really wish I had sailed away from that person earlier.(32:21) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(32:23) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:23) I have different. (32:24) I have different. (32:25) Do you regret things you didn't try?(32:27) Yes. (32:27) Okay. (32:28) That's the difference.(32:29) See, I regret trying too many things.

Alan Lazaros

(32:33) Yeah, that was it.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:34) Max effort to too many things. (32:35) That was too many people for too long. (32:37) You regret not trying enough and staying home when you should have given a shot or something.

Alan Lazaros

(32:43) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:43) I regret more, more of that. (32:45) If you have high self-belief, the last distinction I would get to get out of here. (32:48) If you have really high internal self-efficacy, most likely you're going to regret spreading yourself too thin with too many persons, places, things, and ideas, and putting maximum effort into too many things.(32:59) When in reality, you probably should have focused more and worked on your improving yourself and your personal development and your core values. (33:05) If you're on Kevin's end and you didn't believe in yourself a lot, most likely your future self isn't pulling on you that much. (33:11) And you probably, and if they are at all, you got to listen intently and actually do it because I regret doing, I don't regret the things I didn't try.(33:21) I regret trying too many things that I knew were probably not best for me. (33:26) And you regret not trying things that maybe you should have taken more seriously or should have given a shot. (33:31) And I think that makes a lot of sense.(33:33) I'm glad we got there because for a minute there I was like, oh no, we might have to can this thing. (33:37) No, no. (33:37) One of the things I've said this, and I'll get you off here in a minute.(33:39) One of the things I've said this before, I regret not trying harder in mixed martial arts for sure. (33:44) Cause I knew I should have. (33:46) Kev.(33:46) So your future self was saying, Hey. (33:48) Yes. (33:49) But I didn't have, dude, I didn't have a lot of foresight.(33:52) I didn't, I seriously thought I was going to somehow play in the major leagues and drive around in Winnebago's. (33:58) Like I thought that was going to happen. (34:00) That was my fucking plan.(34:01) So you think this future self thing is predicated on foresight? (34:04) You have such a blind spot to your ability to see the future for sure. (34:08) Yes.(34:10) That's why I'm on anticipating the future.

Alan Lazaros

(34:12) We'll do that.

Kevin Palmieri

(34:13) I think that would be valuable for us to have a healthy discord about that because yeah, I mean, I have a really good opportunity. (34:22) I can see in my mind and I'm screwing it up right now. (34:26) Right now.(34:27) That's very, very unique to you. (34:31) Yeah. (34:32) That's very, very unique to you.(34:33) Don't we all have that just to some extent? (34:36) Maybe it's unique to me with how far into the future, but it's not, this is scientists call this projection. (34:41) You remember you, you talked about the book that said you could imagine.(34:45) No, no, no. (34:45) Do you remember the fucking quote? (34:48) Some people could only imagine a stranger.(34:50) Most people. (34:52) Most people. (34:54) And if it was like 10 years out.(34:55) Yeah. (34:55) But a month, I do this with a client once I said, imagine yourself tomorrow. (34:58) She's like, yeah.(34:59) I said, okay, now next week she'd say, yep. (35:01) I said, okay, now next month, she's like, ah, it's getting blurry. (35:04) Oh yeah.(35:05) Well, that's a, that, and that's a client of yours who's been, who's doing the work. (35:10) You can't see future Kev if you want to. (35:12) Like for me, I see potential.(35:14) Like I see the potential of what you could be. (35:16) I'm not like you do. (35:17) No.(35:18) And again, I, I, I do think that I probably see higher than what you could be because I do think I inject some of my capacity into that.

Alan Lazaros

(35:28) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(35:28) Um, but I, but I definitely, I mean, I think you're more capable than you think for sure. (35:35) You can see further than I can. (35:37) I didn't think I was capable of this.(35:40) I was right. (35:41) I know, but it also almost, but it also almost killed me. (35:43) This is why I believe in people so much, brother.

Alan Lazaros

(35:45) I know.

Kevin Palmieri

(35:46) Because I see so much potential in them. (35:48) Yeah. (35:48) But what I've told you over the last nine years is like, dude, nobody's going to do again.(35:52) I don't mean this that way, but nobody's going to do what I've done. (35:54) This has been detrimental at times, but they can do more than they're currently doing, which is what this podcast is about. (35:59) So if you take nothing else from this episode, yeah, I believe in you and I hope you believe in you and I hope that you see that bigger, better, brighter future for yourself.(36:10) Even if it's only a week away or a month away, you're going to start there and you got to start putting in the work now to yeah. (36:16) To see that and increase capacity. (36:18) That's a really good frame.(36:20) That's what this is. (36:21) Every time you listen to an episode, it's a little more, little more, little more, little more, little more. (36:24) All right.(36:24) If you are looking to increase your capacity to an exponential degree, reach out to Alan for coaching. (36:30) That will obviously be a very big Mario Kart booster for you. (36:33) And if you're looking to amplify your potential and your future in general of podcasting, reach out to me.(36:42) I'll help you with your podcast for sure. (36:43) Okay. (36:43) As always, we love you.(36:44) We appreciate you. (36:45) Grateful for each and every one of you. (36:46) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you listen tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(36:52) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (36:55) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (37:01) We love connecting with the Next Level family.(37:04) We mean it when we say family. (37:06) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (37:09) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(37:13) Thank you again. (37:13) And we will talk to you tomorrow.