When Life Throws Things At You, Are You Ready? (2323)

What happens when life hits harder than your capacity can handle?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan explain why readiness is not built in moments of pressure, but long before they arrive. Most people do not fail from lack of effort. They fail because their capacity is too small for the life they want. After years of building businesses, navigating setbacks, coaching clients, and recording thousands of conversations on growth, they have seen the same pattern repeat. Comfort weakens readiness. Short-term thinking limits resilience. When life demands more, most people are exposed.

If you want to meet life with strength instead of reaction, this episode will change how you think about preparation. Build the capacity now, or pay the price later. Press play accordingly.

Learn more about:
Your first 30-minute “Business Breakthrough Session” call with Alan is FREE. This call is designed to help you identify bottlenecks and build a clear plan for your next level. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

Join our private Facebook community, “Next Level Nation,” to grow alongside people who are committed to improvement. - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:15) Physical readiness as a baseline for life preparedness
(5:49) Preparing for life instead of chasing goals
(7:41) Why comfort quietly weakening people
(9:52) Choosing who you want in your corner under stress
(12:45) Anticipation as a critical performance skill
(14:15) Personal development as resilience under pressure
(18:18) How far ahead can you truly think and prepare
(20:18) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:15 Physical readiness as a baseline for life preparedness
• 5:49 Preparing for life instead of chasing goals
• 7:41 Why comfort quietly weakening people
• 9:52 Choosing who you want in your corner under stress
• 12:45 Anticipation as a critical performance skill
• 14:15 Personal development as resilience under pressure
• 18:18 How far ahead can you truly think and prepare
• 20:18 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) We talked a lot about capacity in the last couple episodes, especially last episode, and today we're at least making it our goal to make capacity something that you can tactically improve. (0:12) That's our goal today. (0:14) Kev called me out in yesterday's episode.(0:16) He said, when was the last time you were just surviving? (0:19) And I thought to myself, I've done a really good job of expanding my capacity in advance. (0:25) And that's really what coaching and training and podcasting is.(0:28) You're trying to expand in advance so that when life throws hard shit your way, you are ready. (0:33) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:36) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.(0:38) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:41) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. (0:47) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.(0:54) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (1:10) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:16) Welcome to Next Level University.(1:22) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,323, when life throws things at you, are you ready? (1:29) I told Alan I don't really know necessarily what value I'm going to be able to add in this episode because I think I usually, as a result of things being thrown at me, try to find a way to solve them. (1:42) And luckily nothing has been thrown at me that I couldn't handle, quote-unquote.(1:45) But yeah, what are your thoughts for this episode? (1:48) I'll kick it to you immediately and then we'll go from there. (1:50) All right, hypothetical situation.(1:53) Kevin is 13 miles away, and Taryn calls him, says, I need you here now. (2:00) You got no car, car's out of electricity, no more, no car, can't take the car, no bike, you got to run there. (2:08) 13 miles away, and you got to get there within, let's say, 7 minute mile average.(2:15) Jesus, hold on. (2:17) Yeah, that's brutal. (2:18) 7 times 13, hold on.(2:20) 91, 91. (2:23) So you got to get there in an hour and a half, okay? (2:28) Can you do it?(2:29) No, most likely not. (2:32) All right, that's the point of the conversation. (2:33) We were off air, and I was saying to Kev, and again, everyone in book club, you know I love you.(2:40) I'm excited to see you soon, right after this. (2:42) I am going to be 5 minutes late, by the way, but it's a day later, so this will be in retrospect. (2:47) No, but I remember we're reading Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg, and B.J. Fogg does two push-ups after every time he goes pee, and I think it's stupid. (2:58) And I love B.J. Fogg. (3:00) Great book. (3:01) Recommend the book.(3:02) Great fucking book. (3:04) What are we doing here? (3:06) You're going to do two push-ups after every time you go pee?(3:07) Why? (3:08) What are we doing? (3:09) Now, again, I'm not here to make fun of people.(3:11) I'm here to talk about what I think and what I believe is good for success. (3:16) To me, if that builds self-esteem, that's great, but in book club, I found out that the majority of book club couldn't do 20 push-ups, and that was very scary to me, and I've been asking myself why since, and you keep talking about capacity and how, you know, I'm different and all that. (3:37) Appreciate it, whatever.(3:38) That's not why I'm talking about this, but if you can't do 20 push-ups, you're not ready when life brings a situation that's... (3:47) Okay, I'm going to share this briefly. (3:50) I watched...(3:50) There's a movie that just came out with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. (3:53) What's it called? (3:54) Do you remember?(3:54) The Split or something or... (3:56) No clue. (3:56) It's some sort of...(3:57) I haven't watched a movie in a minute. (4:00) It's on Netflix. (4:00) I watched an interview briefly.(4:02) It was like an 11-minute interview with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. (4:04) It was something along the lines of what it's like when friends reconvene decades later or something like that, and I was curious, and Ben Affleck made a comment that pissed me off. (4:14) He said something along the lines of...(4:17) The interviewer said, how often do you guys exercise, and they started laughing. (4:22) They don't exercise, apparently, that much, if at all, and... (4:27) It doesn't surprise me.(4:28) It doesn't surprise you? (4:29) I'm pretty sure Ben Affleck, and again, you do you, Ben, whatever, but I'm pretty sure he just rips butts. (4:36) Are you serious?(4:37) I think so. (4:37) I'm 99% sure. (4:38) I've seen many...(4:39) He's ripping darts? (4:40) I think he just rips darts, yeah. (4:42) I've seen a lot of pictures of him just looking extremely miserable, leaning against his car, ripping darts.(4:47) Are you kidding me? (4:49) No, fairly certain. (4:51) All right, well, anyway, I didn't know that.

Alan Lazaros

(4:53) What's the point?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:54) Hammering coffee, ripping darts.

Alan Lazaros

(4:55) Yeah, what's the point?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:56) Thinking about his next... (4:56) Hammering Dunkin' Donuts, ripping darts. (4:58) It's like, brother, you were Batman, right?(5:01) Anybody could be Batman in this suit, dog. (5:04) That's brutal. (5:06) So anyways, my point of this is they started laughing, and they're like, well, not really.(5:12) And he said this comment that I thought was funny, but also alarming. (5:17) He said, I think I prefer, instead of dad bod, I prefer father figure. (5:22) Have you ever heard that before?(5:23) No, that's pretty funny. (5:24) That's pretty funny. (5:24) Yeah, that's good.(5:25) But I remember thinking later that day, I was like, are you fucking kidding me? (5:29) You dudes are... (5:30) You guys are wealthy?(5:31) You guys literally play superheroes? (5:33) Why can't you exercise? (5:35) Now, I get it.(5:36) Make your own choices. (5:37) It's all good. (5:37) Not everyone needs to be the way I think they should be.(5:39) But this is next level university. (5:42) This is next level university. (5:44) And if you can't do three push-ups, are you ready when shit hits the fan?(5:49) And I just want to be ready for life. (5:51) I don't want to be ready for some fucking goal. (5:53) I want to be ready for anything.(5:55) And I think when you expand your capacity in advance, life is going to throw you... (5:59) Life is going to humble the hell out of all of us. (6:03) Life is coming at you with something.(6:06) There's someone I know right now. (6:07) I care for her dearly. (6:09) Her wife has terminal cancer.(6:13) It is unreal watching how hard this has been for them. (6:20) Are you ready for that shit? (6:22) Are you preparing in advance for that shit?(6:24) Because that's going to happen to all of us. (6:27) We're all going to face physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual challenges in life. (6:31) And if you're not challenging yourself in advance...(6:33) I'll get off the soapbox in a second. (6:34) One more thing. (6:35) There's two types of adversity.(6:37) I'll never forget when I figured this out. (6:38) This is a couple years ago. (6:40) Probably four years ago.(6:42) There's the adversity that comes when you set huge goals. (6:46) When you set big goals, get ready for adversity, baby. (6:49) Challenges are going to come left and fucking right to try to stop you.(6:53) Because big goals require you to climb a big mountain and you're going to have just massive adversity. (7:00) The second type of adversity is the one none of us can do anything about. (7:04) Which is when shit hits the fan and life goes south.(7:07) Are you ready? (7:09) Now, there are times in my life where I wasn't ready. (7:12) I wasn't prepared when my stepdad left.(7:14) I wasn't prepared for a lot of shit. (7:16) But I'll tell you what. (7:17) I started to learn after massive pain that you better get ready in advance.(7:23) Because life's coming for you and it's coming for you hard. (7:25) And if you aren't ready, you are fucked. (7:28) And so I want to share that with everybody right now of like, are we getting, are we collectively getting overly comfortable?(7:36) People say, get outside your comfort zone. (7:37) Dude, I'm not seeing a ton of that anymore. (7:41) Like I'm reading this book by this Navy SEAL.(7:43) In the physical world. (7:44) Right. (7:45) I'm reading this book by this Navy SEAL.(7:48) And this dude does hard things on purpose to prepare himself for what he's going to face. (7:55) And I just, I think that I had a blind spot thinking other people were, I'm always thinking about what am I going to face at 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70. (8:05) What am I going to face?(8:06) Am I going to be ready? (8:07) What am I going to face? (8:07) Am I going to be ready?(8:08) What am I going to face? (8:09) Am I going to be ready? (8:09) I'm taking a course right now that I won't need for a decade.(8:13) Now, I know I'm an extreme example and I'll still use it within the decade, but I was preparing for my thirties and my twenties. (8:22) I was preparing for my, I'm preparing for my forties and my thirties. (8:27) But you, this is all dependent on you knowing what you have to prepare for.(8:33) You have to have an idea, an idea, having an idea. (8:37) Well, let's talk about that. (8:38) There's a reason fighters train for a fight.(8:41) Yep. (8:41) Hold on. (8:42) I'm not done.(8:42) Get ready. (8:43) I'm going to fuck you up. (8:44) And when their opponent gets hurt two weeks out, they don't accept a new one.(8:47) And they don't fight. (8:49) There's a reason because they prepared for that. (8:51) They're a fighter.(8:52) They're one of the best fighters on the planet. (8:53) They could defeat 99.9999% of people. (8:59) You know how many times they say no to the new opponent?(9:02) Because they're not prepared. (9:05) Aren't there some fighters who are prepared to fight whoever? (9:09) Yeah, but very rarely are they ever considered the greatest.(9:12) Because they lose. (9:13) Sometimes they lose those fights. (9:16) What they make, I love fighters like that.(9:18) I love it. (9:20) There's a bunch. (9:21) There's Donald Cerrone.(9:22) But he's not great. (9:26) What do you mean? (9:26) He was never a champion.(9:29) He lost. (9:31) He's probably like 40 and 15 or something. (9:34) He lost like 15 fights.(9:36) He'll never be considered close to the greatest ever. (9:40) But if you called him up two weeks out, he'd fight anybody. (9:43) He'd fight shit in a parking lot for fun.(9:47) So, you know. (9:48) In real life, if shit goes down, that's who you want in your corner.

Alan Lazaros

(9:52) 100%. (9:52) Yeah, 100%.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:53) That's what I'm saying, brother. (9:54) If you were soft, I would never go into business with you. (9:57) But even that, no.(9:58) I want the best. (9:59) I want the best in my corner. (10:02) But isn't there a...(10:05) What is it? (10:07) Mayweather or whatever? (10:08) Yeah.(10:09) And he never has lost or whatever. (10:10) But he also is extremely strategic with that. (10:13) Well, he's like too strategic.(10:15) Yeah, like he won't fight anyone if he's not certain he'll win. (10:17) Yeah, he waits. (10:18) It's like, all right, they're 42 now.(10:21) Now it's time. (10:22) We'll make a quick 100 mil. (10:25) I just think my point in this is, I don't know.(10:27) That's all perception, not reality. (10:29) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (10:31) And again, obviously, he's still a good fighter.(10:33) Oh yeah, I mean, yeah. (10:34) You would tune me up. (10:36) It'd be maybe three seconds.(10:39) I don't even know. (10:40) I don't even know what would happen. (10:41) That would be atrocious.(10:42) I just don't know. (10:43) How do you train for something you don't... (10:46) You do anticipate.(10:47) We can anticipate. (10:49) You don't have to... (10:49) I'm preparing to be a father now.(10:51) Well, I know, I understand. (10:54) But it's going to be different. (10:55) Certain things are going to be different than you think.(10:56) Of course. (10:57) But it's better than me being like, oh, I know, I agree. (10:59) I agree.(11:00) But how do you know? (11:01) I met a father recently. (11:02) He said, well, you know, trust me, you can prepare all you want.(11:06) It's going to... (11:07) It's like, brother, I know that. (11:09) I know that.(11:10) I've thought about this a lot. (11:11) Of course, it's going to be humbling. (11:13) Of course, there's going to be things I didn't expect.(11:14) But I'm going to prepare as much as I possibly can in advance to be a good father. (11:18) So that when it happens, I'm not like, oh my God, I can't believe... (11:22) I know, I know.(11:22) But all you're doing is closing... (11:24) Like what you're trying to do is close the gap on the uncertainty. (11:29) Close the gap on the surprises, essentially.(11:31) 100%. (11:32) Emilia is already changing her diet on purpose for fertility. (11:35) Years in advance.(11:36) We're not even going to try for years. (11:38) Yeah, but that doesn't... (11:39) I need the...(11:40) That doesn't help me necessarily. (11:42) Okay. (11:43) Based on what?(11:44) What does? (11:45) Okay, let's do this. (11:47) Kev, what are...(11:48) Give me three things that you can guarantee will happen in your 40s. (11:52) What do you think? (11:52) Results.(11:54) Any outcome... (11:55) Things that will happen to you. (11:58) That are very high likelihood.(12:00) This is all based on probability, obviously. (12:02) Like what? (12:03) Life events?(12:04) Yeah. (12:05) I will move. (12:07) Yeah.(12:09) I will exercise. (12:12) Yeah. (12:14) Yeah.(12:14) Okay, yeah. (12:16) I will be married. (12:22) Okay, this isn't working at all.(12:23) That's what I got. (12:24) Okay. (12:24) I don't know what...(12:25) Fuck. (12:26) I'm not going to retire. (12:27) You're going to have a loved one in your guys, for sure.(12:29) In my 40s? (12:30) Yeah, for sure. (12:31) Okay.(12:31) Yeah, but I don't... (12:33) I'm... (12:33) I mean, that's where I'm different is like...(12:34) But you are preparing in advance for heartache, right? (12:37) It's not like you're going to be shocked when it happens. (12:39) Every day.(12:39) Yeah. (12:40) Every day, every day. (12:41) So this is my hypothesis in this episode.(12:45) You have to be willing to look at the brutal slash sad slash extremely unfiltered version of what could happen. (12:57) Yeah. (12:58) That.(12:59) I don't... (13:01) Do I ever expect somebody's going to break into my house? (13:04) No.(13:06) Have I gone a million different ways every night before I go to sleep to figure out like what would be the best course of action? (13:13) Yeah, because I understand. (13:14) How fucking dark that could be.

Alan Lazaros

(13:17) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:17) So I... (13:18) But I think it is the realization and the admittance of... (13:22) It's hard to...(13:23) I mean, it's easy to bury your head in the sand and only worry about something when it's time to worry about it. (13:28) It's easy. (13:29) That's...(13:29) That's dangerous. (13:31) It's very dangerous. (13:33) It's very dangerous.(13:33) What is it? (13:33) Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and then meet somewhere in the middle, right? (13:39) And the only reason why I'm saying this is because as someone who said recently she started laughing when she tried push-ups and I remember thinking that's...(13:48) You need to work on that. (13:49) You don't need to do anything, but you would... (13:51) It would behoove you to work on that.(13:54) Because if you're not strong enough to do three push-ups, what else aren't you strong enough for? (13:59) When life... (13:59) When shit hits the fan and you got to run through the whatever, are you ready?(14:06) And I used to talk to you about this. (14:07) I want to be prepared for life, not for a fitness show. (14:13) I want to be prepared for life.(14:15) That's what personal development is. (14:17) It's I want to be the most well-developed version of myself so that when life hits me, I don't crumble. (14:23) You ever see...(14:24) It's a really old movie. (14:28) Me, myself, and Irem, he's like... (14:33) Guys like origami, folds under pressure.(14:37) But again, I'm being playful with it, but you and I are going to have a business. (14:45) Okay, let's say we want to hit a goal of a $10 million business in our 40s. (14:50) Okay?(14:51) That's my goal for sure. (14:53) I'm planning and preparing for that now, this morning. (14:58) Are you going to be blindsided?(15:00) Like, oh shit, this is a lot of responsibility. (15:02) Probably. (15:05) Yeah.(15:06) You're not thinking about in advance what that's going to be like? (15:09) I don't know. (15:09) We have a 23-person team.(15:11) Double that. (15:12) Now triple that. (15:13) How do I know?(15:15) You knew. (15:16) Anticipation is a simple skill. (15:17) It's not that hard to go, hmm, we had a two-person team.(15:20) Then it was four, then it was eight, then it was 16. (15:22) I could say the same thing to you of anticipation when it comes to people. (15:26) I'm working on it.(15:27) I knew this was going to happen. (15:29) You didn't. (15:29) How the fuck did you not know that?(15:31) That is obvious. (15:31) I'm learning. (15:32) I'm learning too.(15:33) And by the way, I should have known. (15:35) That's the difference between you and me. (15:36) I'm like, you're right.(15:37) You're absolutely right. (15:38) I should have known. (15:39) Well, I will know based on this conversation, but I know to the degree usually that you tell me because I don't know what the fuck's going on until usually you tell me.(15:48) That's usually how it works. (15:48) So when you say you want the most successful podcast production company on the planet, you're not preparing in advance to be the person who could achieve that? (15:55) That I am, but I know what, based on the research I've done, I know what that looks like.(16:00) It's just, it's certainty. (16:01) I have certainty on what that currently is. (16:04) Well, anticipation is a skill.(16:06) We got to develop it. (16:07) It's a mental, it's a mental skill. (16:08) Always, all the time.(16:10) Like, but I, but I think that I want to get a new home. (16:12) I'm already like, oh no. (16:14) I mean, we're going to have to do, we just got this place set up, man.(16:17) Yeah. (16:18) Like, and I told her, I said, this is going to be a lot of new. (16:22) She's like, I know.(16:24) This place is set up pristinely for success. (16:29) Everything is optimized in this household. (16:32) I don't want to move yet, but I know we have to go to the next level.(16:36) So, I'm now mentally preparing every single day for that next level. (16:40) And I think that this might be unique to me. (16:42) I'm not sure.(16:43) But I'm always, in my mind, I'm always looking years in advance and preparing now for those years. (16:50) I would say that is definitely a you thing. (16:53) There are certain things people do that with, but that's because there's industries built on them.(16:58) I think if it was up to, just as like a human society, if it was up to us to prepare for retirement, I think we would not be very good at it. (17:08) It's easy because your company helps you. (17:11) Yeah, this is what you do.(17:12) This is the paperwork you fill out. (17:13) We'll match. (17:14) And it just goes into an account.(17:16) You can't even fucking touch it. (17:17) And if you want to touch it, then it costs you a penalty. (17:20) Like, all right, I'll just leave it in there then.(17:23) So, it's set up. (17:24) It's a skill. (17:24) What was the book that you read that said this?(17:27) Because we talked about it in the last episode. (17:28) It wasn't a book. (17:29) Remember when I was reading the, I had this app.(17:32) I don't even remember the name. (17:33) But it essentially would take a book and it would give you the high level notes in 15 minutes. (17:38) It said something along the lines of, they did an fMRI of people's brains when they tried to imagine the future versions of themselves.(17:46) And it was, I don't remember the exact, I'll have to try to find it, but I cannot find it to save my life. (17:51) Without a doubt, this is a study. (17:53) We just have to look it up.(17:54) It's a research study that we could look up. (17:56) It was something along the lines of, no, we don't have time. (17:58) We have to record another episode next time.(18:00) Something along the lines of five years out, they literally were imagining a completely different person. (18:06) They could not see themselves five years out. (18:09) What they were imagining was just a completely different person.(18:13) But I'll get it. (18:14) I'll get the study. (18:15) Okay.(18:15) For the listeners, last thing. (18:18) See how far you can go. (18:21) Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, quarters, years, decades, lifetime.(18:26) See how far you can go. (18:27) Before it gets really blurry. (18:30) Now, I want to make this clear.(18:32) It's not like I have a, it's like a future potentialities. (18:35) It's eventualities. (18:36) It's okay.(18:37) Self-driving cars coming, no matter what, no matter what, no matter what anyone does, it's all going to happen. (18:43) And I used to say, everyone knows that. (18:45) No, people in tech know that.(18:47) People in tech know that. (18:48) Okay. (18:49) It's going to happen.(18:50) Watch it happen. (18:50) When it happens, it will be not a shock to me. (18:54) I won't be like, oh no, I lost my job.(18:56) So if you're a truck driver right now, or you drive for a living, you need to be concerned now and prepare in advance to lose your job. (19:06) Because when self-driving cars become bigger, you will lose your job. (19:10) This is not my opinion.(19:12) This is going to happen and watch it happen. (19:14) It'll happen faster than you think. (19:16) So anticipation is powerful because you can think about it in advance and change jobs now.(19:23) Instead of, oh shit, I lost my job. (19:25) Now what? (19:26) Because by the time it happens, it's not too late.(19:28) It's never too late, but it's definitely worse than if you planned in advance for it. (19:33) So I think everything in life is that way. (19:36) It's like a chess master who can think 15 moves ahead.(19:39) Adults think ahead. (19:41) Toddlers just do whatever. (19:43) Adults think ahead.(19:45) That's what needs to happen. (19:47) We'll do a part two at some point. (19:49) We're not going to do it back to back.(19:51) We'll do a part two at some point for this. (19:52) All right. (19:52) If you're looking for help with this, if you're looking for somebody who can help you plan your future better based on reverse engineering outcomes, Alan is your guy.(19:58) Reach out for coaching. (20:00) And if you're looking for a group of amazing humans who are focused on getting to the next level, we'll have Next Level Nation, our private Facebook group, in the show notes. (20:06) As always, we love you.(20:07) We appreciate you. (20:07) Grateful for each and every one of you. (20:09) NLU.(20:13) Did I go with the old one? (20:14) I've been forgetting the log off recently. (20:17) If you're as committed as you say you are, there you go, to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(20:25) Keep anticipating and leveling up to reach your full potential. (20:30) Next Level Nation. (20:31) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(20:35) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (20:38) We mean it when we say family. (20:40) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.(20:43) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (20:47) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.