The Greater Than, Less Than Or Equal To Measurement (2328)

Your progress mirrors the expectations around you. In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan break down how the people, environments, and standards you accept quietly shape your discipline, confidence, and long-term trajectory. This conversation cuts through surface-level self-improvement and reveals why many driven people plateau despite consistent effort.

You will hear how subtle influences affect identity, decision-making, and performance, and why real growth requires more than motivation. It demands precision, awareness, and intentional positioning. If you care about personal development, leadership, fitness, business, and mental resilience, this episode will challenge how you evaluate your circle, your habits, and your standards.

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Show notes:
(2:03) Relationship buckets and identity calibration
(5:19) Trajectory versus position in long-term performance
(8:29) Reference groups and motivation styles
(11:43) Why experience does not equal wisdom
(18:41) Environment, pressure, and elite standards
(25:01) Success, comfort, and diminishing necessity
(29:10) Growth-first Vs. Relationship-first identities
(37:23) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) This doesn't make any sense at all, but if you want to be the most next level version of yourself, you can't really be the most next level in any of the groups that you are in. (0:11) Very well said. (0:12) Thank you.(0:13) There's a... (0:13) You're welcome. (0:14) There's a book called The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle, where the best of the best of the best come from what he calls a talent hotbed.(0:23) We're going to talk about it. (0:24) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:27) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.(0:28) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:32) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. (0:38) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.(0:45) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (1:01) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:07) Welcome to Next Level University.(1:13) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,328, the greater than, less than, or equal to framework. (1:20) This is something we used to talk about all the time. (1:22) You've heard us talk about the five buckets when we talk about relationships and I guess you're in years, man.(1:28) We should probably stop referencing things. (1:31) The five buckets. (1:32) Yeah, that's been a last time we talked about that.

Alan Lazaros

(1:35) All right, let's see if I can.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:35) Even if it was six months ago, shouldn't we re-reference it? (1:38) It's hard. (1:39) It's hard because six months doesn't seem like that long ago because it's so many episodes.(1:45) That's 180 episodes ago. (1:48) Why would that make it seem like not long ago? (1:50) Because six months doesn't seem that long to me.(1:53) So, I just, you know, I master time. (1:58) So, to me, six months ain't nothing but a thing. (2:01) Totally kidding.(2:02) All right, five buckets. (2:03) Let's see if we can remember them. (2:05) You are a master of time.(2:06) I am. (2:07) One is the nostalgia bucket. (2:09) These are people that you see occasionally.(2:12) You see for birthday parties. (2:13) You see once in a blue moon. (2:14) These are people that you don't expect to grow around.(2:17) Sometimes it's nice to see them, but you probably have to play the old version of yourself to be around them. (2:23) They don't really, they don't really like the new version of you. (2:25) They like the old, used to get blackout drunk or whatever it is.(2:28) That's nostalgia. (2:30) Maintenance is, these are the people that you want in your life, but they're not necessarily on a similar growth journey. (2:37) And they also, they're interested in what you're doing, but not really.(2:42) They're interested because they love you, but they don't really care that much. (2:45) They're pretend interested. (2:47) Yeah, they're pretend interested.(2:48) That's maintenance. (2:49) Then you have the mentee bucket. (2:52) The mentee bucket.(2:53) These are people that look up to you because you are doing something that they value and they know, or they believe that you have answers to many of the problems that they're struggling with, right? (3:02) So if you're listening to this podcast, you are in the mentee bucket of us right now because we're leading you. (3:07) Next bucket, fourth bucket is the growth bucket.(3:09) These are people that are on a journey similar to yours where you can pitch and catch. (3:14) You can get ideas from, these are the type of people you'd mastermind with. (3:17) You go to them, they know stuff better than you know certain things and vice versa.(3:20) There's equal value on both ends. (3:23) And then the last bucket is the mentor bucket. (3:26) Is that what it is?(3:28) Mentor. (3:29) What's the proper term? (3:31) Wisdom bucket.(3:32) Wisdom bucket. (3:33) These are people that are just leagues ahead of you. (3:36) Their day-to-day is your dream life, hypothetically.(3:39) Maybe if you're somebody who's just starting a podcast, we would be in the wisdom bucket. (3:43) We've been doing this for a long time and we have a lot of wisdom, I guess, for lack of better words. (3:48) Nine years in March, man.(3:49) You don't say the numbers. (3:51) Nine years in March, man. (3:52) Is that because you don't think anyone cares?(3:54) No, it's because sometimes I can't remember the numbers. (3:58) And then I know I lose credibility and we're like, well, I think it's eight. (4:01) No, I think it's coming up on 10 years.(4:03) Anytime you say- It is nine in March. (4:05) Anytime you say it's a number and then the next number you say is less, people are automatically like, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about. (4:13) Just trying to be accurate.(4:14) Something to note. (4:16) Essentially, the thought process in today's episode is greater than, less than, or equal to. (4:21) Greater than is people that are in your growth or wisdom bucket, right?(4:29) These are people that are, quote unquote, greater than you in results and not in intrinsic value. (4:34) It's been a long time since I've seen you try to teach frameworks. (4:38) It's been a minute since I've taught frameworks.(4:42) Yeah, it has. (4:43) I feel like I live dual lives. (4:45) Like, this is success in personal development and usually pretty high level.(4:51) And then I coach podcasters and speakers, YouTubers. (4:55) It's weird. (4:56) It's weird.(4:57) So yeah, greater than, less than, or equal to. (4:59) That is really what we're talking about today. (5:00) You don't want to be the most in shape person you know, because if so, there's nobody there to push you.(5:06) Damn straight. (5:07) Maybe you don't want to be the least in person, least in shape person either, because maybe that doesn't actually help you grow as much as you want, depending on your self-belief and self-worth. (5:15) There's a lot of places to go, but that's our kickoff here.(5:19) This was prompted by, Emilia and I were talking on the way out of the gym this morning and we both hit PRs. (5:28) It was a good day. (5:30) Push day.(5:32) And I told her on the way home, I was like, I can't, I can't go to that gym anymore. (5:42) And I said, can we set up a system where we, at least once a week, we go to a better gym? (5:48) This gym is literally two minutes away.(5:51) It's so convenient. (5:54) And we're very optimized for time. (5:56) There's a charger right there.(5:58) So we charge our car while we're working out. (6:00) It's perfect. (6:01) It's, it is really, I'm, I'm really complaining about something that's great, but the gym pisses me off.(6:10) And why? (6:14) There's a couple people there that are animals, absolute freaks. (6:20) Love it.(6:21) Very few, dude, very few. (6:23) Honestly, at this stage, I'm, I'm probably top 1% for sure at that gym. (6:31) Yeah, without a question.(6:32) And I don't like that. (6:34) I genuinely don't like that. (6:36) I think some people like that.(6:37) I'm not interested. (6:38) I don't care at all about being great now. (6:42) I care about trajectory.(6:44) Current position is fucking stupid. (6:46) Trajectory is what matters. (6:48) I want to be.(6:51) So for any of the listeners, think about which pushes you more. (6:55) Does it motivate you more to, to be the leader or does it motivate you more to be behind? (7:00) For me, it's way more motivating to be behind genuinely.(7:04) And you need both of course, right? (7:06) But, but a lot of my life, and I'm very grateful for this. (7:09) So I don't want to sound like I'm complaining.(7:11) I have some clients that are multi-millionaires that are way ahead of us in business. (7:16) They're also much older, but they're not really ahead in capability or certainly not intelligence or awareness. (7:25) That motivates me though.(7:26) It's good. (7:26) I'm not, I'm not by far the best player on the court metaphorically in business in my life. (7:35) In fitness, it very much is that way.(7:37) And Emilia is definitely crushing it, but she's definitely behind me. (7:43) And I'm way more motivated by challenge than I am by support. (7:52) And so I think at our gym too, there's not really a lot of people that take it that seriously.(8:02) I don't want to talk. (8:05) I don't want to converse. (8:07) I don't want to socialize.(8:08) I don't want to watch TV. (8:10) Why are you guys watching TV? (8:12) Like do that at home.(8:14) And again, I know, I know. (8:15) So, so for the listener, are you more motivated by people behind you that you help and that you pour into? (8:21) Are you more motivated by peers that are peak performance partners?(8:25) Or are you more motivated by people that are leagues ahead of you? (8:29) And at the end of the day, I do think another really good conversation here. (8:33) It's called your reference group.(8:36) I liked in fitness when I used to be the worst. (8:40) Yeah, that's fair. (8:41) Of all the people I used to lift with, I was the most behind.(8:44) And eventually that changed. (8:50) But I like being the most behind. (8:52) I want to be on a team of A players where I'm the B player.(8:56) I love that shit. (8:57) That is getting harder, dude. (8:59) I know this is going to come off pretentious and arrogant.(9:00) I don't care. (9:01) That is getting harder as I get older. (9:03) As I get older, that's getting exponentially fucking harder.(9:07) It makes sense. (9:09) Right. (9:10) It makes sense.(9:10) If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. (9:13) Isn't there a time when that makes, like, isn't there a time when you're like, when you become the master, not the peer? (9:20) Or what is it?(9:21) Master and apprentice or whatever, the Star Wars reference. (9:24) At the end of the day, eventually you become the person. (9:28) You eventually become your own hero.(9:31) You eventually... (9:32) I have mentors I would never ask a question to again. (9:35) I am so far beyond where they've ever been.(9:38) Let's have that conversation. (9:40) Go ahead. (9:41) You started it.(9:42) Well, I think the mentors we had, you didn't want anyway. (9:46) But most of them were an extension of you. (9:50) Not an extension, but because of you, I didn't really get to choose.(9:54) Okay. (9:55) This is the conversation we should debate on a bit. (10:00) You and I had mentors and coaches.(10:02) In corporate, I had a lot. (10:05) Several. (10:06) I can't remember a time when I didn't have a mentor or a coach.(10:10) Even in college, I had a bunch. (10:12) But I realize now, as now I'm 37 and I have the same memory of them back then. (10:19) Oh, you were a fucking mess.(10:22) I shouldn't have been asking you for life advice. (10:26) But I didn't know back then because everyone's a mess in college, right? (10:29) So when you're 22 or 21 or 20, you look up to these people that have it together.(10:35) They don't have it together for their age. (10:37) And there's this compound effect that happens as you get older. (10:39) So everyone out there watching or listening, think about someone you thought had it together.(10:43) When you were a kid, when you were 15. (10:46) I think about it all the time. (10:47) Love it.(10:47) Okay. (10:48) Think of that person in your head. (10:50) Don't say it out loud.(10:51) Now that you're 36, did they have it together at all? (10:55) No. (10:56) That is what I'm talking about.(10:58) Like, how do we surround ourselves with next level people that are actually next level and that are getting better and are walking their talk when we're not around? (11:08) Because what I've found is a lot of mentors and coaches really are putting on a show. (11:13) I think, unfortunately, a lot of it is not ego.(11:19) You know, like respect your elders. (11:20) You know that saying? (11:21) Respect your elders.

Alan Lazaros

(11:22) Respect your elders.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:23) Absolutely. (11:23) I feel like that's a common thing when it comes to mentors. (11:26) Well, they have more life experience.(11:27) So they have more wisdom. (11:28) It's like, well, they might have more life experience. (11:29) Doesn't mean they have more wisdom.(11:31) That's agreed. (11:31) Wisdom. (11:33) What's the saying?(11:35) Oh, yeah. (11:37) They say wisdom comes with age. (11:39) Sometimes age comes alone.

Alan Lazaros

(11:41) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:43) Wisdom, I think, is knowledge plus experience plus reflection. (11:48) So I study it. (11:50) So I'm aware of it.(11:52) But that doesn't mean you know it. (11:53) You have to go do it. (11:54) And then when you do it, you practice it.(11:56) You have an experience. (11:57) And then you reflect upon it, which is what this show is. (12:00) We go do things.(12:01) We implement. (12:01) And then we come back and give a performance review or an experience review and a field report, whatever you want to call it, a report card. (12:08) I know some people who act like they know everything about fitness.(12:11) It's like you're out of shape. (12:13) Like, why are you acting like an expert when you're so obviously not? (12:19) Because maybe in their group, they are the expert.(12:22) That's when you get delusional. (12:23) And it fucks everything up. (12:24) It does.(12:25) It messes everything up. (12:26) I like being... (12:27) I do like being A.(12:30) I don't like being behind. (12:32) I like being A. (12:32) Which is why this has been so fucking hard.(12:34) Because everything we do, I'm not... (12:36) I'm never first. (12:38) Other than like strength stuff.(12:39) If we go to the gym and lift heavy with certain exercises, hell yeah. (12:43) Or if we're making people laugh, whatever. (12:45) But I like...(12:47) I love the fact that for most of my life, I was the most in shape person I knew. (12:51) Love it. (12:52) Love it.(12:54) That held you back, I think. (12:57) Maybe eventually. (12:58) I don't know if it did in the beginning.(12:59) Maybe. (12:59) I mean, probably. (13:00) Maybe I'm presupposing that you're motivated by being behind.(13:05) Which might not be true. (13:06) No, I'm not. (13:07) Well, then that didn't hold you back.(13:09) You and I have talked about this all the time. (13:11) I don't like when my back's against the wall. (13:13) I don't operate well when my back's against...(13:15) That's not... (13:15) That is not my... (13:17) For me, you want to see me do really well, give me a comfortable lead.(13:22) I'm not going to slow down. (13:24) I'm not going to... (13:25) I won't slow down.(13:25) I might actually get faster. (13:27) Are you kidding me? (13:28) I'm telling you, man.(13:30) For anyone watching or listening, ask yourself if you agree with Kev. (13:34) And this takes a lot of self-awareness. (13:37) Because if you're behind, you will push yourself more.(13:39) Yeah, but I will push myself to a detriment. (13:42) It's not sustainable, is the problem. (13:46) It's just not the way I...(13:49) It's not the way I operate. (13:51) I don't... (13:52) You and I have had that conversation a million times.(13:54) I just... (13:56) Being behind doesn't really motivate me. (14:00) Yeah, it shuts you down.(14:01) I'd rather just stay ahead. (14:04) I know that it doesn't work that way. (14:06) But in my mind, I'm...(14:08) Yeah, I just would rather stay ahead. (14:10) I'm gonna... (14:11) I will do my 10 pound in 10 week challenge.(14:14) And I will do it sooner than 10 weeks. (14:16) That's just the way I... (14:17) I don't want to wait till the last minute.(14:18) I don't want to get... (14:19) I don't want to have to fucking sit in the sauna. (14:23) I'll just...(14:24) I just rather get it done. (14:25) And then I don't have to worry about it. (14:27) That's the way I'm wired.(14:28) Okay. (14:32) This concept of hormesis we've talked about on the show is a little bit of a bad thing, is a good thing. (14:40) Getting outside your comfort zone is necessary.(14:44) Okay, let me make this tangible. (14:46) We're in the gym this morning. (14:48) We go from...(14:49) We're doing incline press. (14:51) We go from incline press to barbell bench press. (14:54) And Emilia is concerned because she incline pressed 135.(14:58) And then we went to barbell bench press and her PR is 145 for five. (15:04) It's not like a one rep max, you know, and she had more. (15:08) Not to mention her grip is too close.(15:10) So it's like widen your fucking grip. (15:11) You'll be even stronger. (15:13) She's a beast.(15:14) I love it. (15:15) But I was like, we don't talk, but we do hand signals. (15:19) I'm sitting there with the five and the two and a half.(15:21) Cause I'm like, let's get a PR. (15:22) This means PR, by the way. (15:25) Tatumka means strong, right?(15:27) We have all these kinds of hand signals. (15:28) People probably think we're nuts. (15:30) Anyways, so I tell her that and I show her the five and the 2.5. And I'm like, let's fucking go. (15:36) And she's like, uh, and I'm like, come on, honey, you got this. (15:40) Let's fucking go. (15:41) And I spotted her and she got it for five.(15:43) It didn't even seem hard. (15:44) Right? (15:45) So what is that?(15:46) That's 150. (15:49) So she went for it because I challenged her and she got it for five reps. (15:55) I didn't have to help at all.(15:58) And she did 150. (15:59) New PR. (16:01) Awesome.(16:02) She wouldn't have done it if I wasn't there to challenge her. (16:05) And I feel like sometimes I'm, I want that. (16:14) You know, I liked when you called me fat, you were right.(16:19) Yeah. (16:19) But the problem is the person has to be on the same level or above. (16:24) And they also have to like know you.(16:26) That's a, that's a thing. (16:28) If you're into weight training, you probably get it. (16:30) But that's a thing like knowing.(16:34) I train with, I don't train with sometimes I help my buddy. (16:37) Bruce is 79 years old at the gym crushing it. (16:41) Bruce is the fucking man.(16:42) Love it. (16:43) And he literally, he was doing incline barbell press and he literally came over to me on the treadmill and said, how did it look? (16:50) And I said, your head keeps popping up.(16:52) Keep pop, keep your fucking head back and lift your chest up. (16:55) Stop bringing your head forward. (16:56) You're making it easier.(16:57) He's like, ah, shit, I did it again. (16:59) So he goes in and I know. (17:03) I can spot you.(17:05) I know you got a couple more in you. (17:06) I've done this long enough. (17:07) I can tell.(17:08) Yeah, of course. (17:09) But somebody else might say, no, do it this way. (17:11) Throw more weight.(17:11) And then he might blow his shit out. (17:12) He's 80 years old. (17:14) First of all, yes.(17:16) The man is a very extenuating circumstance. (17:18) Well, but, but what I'm saying is it requires a level of awareness in the person that's pushing you. (17:25) A piece of it is you have to understand the intricacies in the context of what is being taught.(17:31) So it's going to require somebody who has trained with you, most likely somebody who understands fitness to a pretty high degree and can tell like that third one you got looked pretty easy. (17:44) Like you could definitely do another one if you wanted to. (17:46) Yeah, that's, but that's, it's hard to find those people.(17:50) Yeah, I don't know. (17:51) I don't know how you find those people without dedicating more time to it. (17:56) Emilia took a PR from me today and I know you know what I mean.(18:00) She touched the bar. (18:01) She didn't touch it. (18:02) She licked the whole thing.(18:03) Oh yeah. (18:03) It was like, I need pinkies. (18:05) You don't need to grab the whole thing.(18:06) She's like, I'm scared and I love you too much. (18:10) It was cute. (18:11) But honestly, the fitness version of me is like, I don't care.(18:14) Don't take my PR. (18:16) I had it. (18:17) I had it.(18:19) And my point of this whole thing, Emilia is ahead in a lot of things. (18:24) We're going to train Muay Thai. (18:25) I know I keep talking about that.(18:26) It's when I say that, I mean within the next five years. (18:28) Okay. (18:29) But at the end of the day, she's going to be way ahead and I'm going to be holding her back.(18:33) But at all times, don't get it twisted. (18:35) Someone's holding back the fucking team. (18:38) The team is as strong as the weakest link.(18:41) And I don't always want to be the smartest and the most driven and the most on point and the most dialed in. (18:48) I do. (18:48) Like I want to be the most dialed in person I can be, but I want to be around other people.(18:54) This is a tiny example, but I, and I mean this kindly, I guess, respectfully. (19:01) Have you, we watched a movie called Greenland. (19:03) Do you know anything about that?(19:04) It's like post-apocalyptic. (19:06) It's no Gerard Butler. (19:09) You lost me there.(19:10) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(19:11) Yep.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:11) Gerard Butler was Leonidas in 300. (19:14) I mean, he was in great shape. (19:16) He let it go.(19:16) And again, I don't know Gerard. (19:18) It's all good. (19:20) I don't, I don't want to be around people who don't want to get better.(19:27) I don't, I don't want to be around people who don't care about getting better and who don't care about fitness. (19:33) Like when I weight train, one of the reasons I don't like that gym is because people don't really care. (19:38) I can tell they don't really, they're like checking the box.(19:41) They're on their phone the whole time. (19:43) They're watching TV. (19:44) They're watching sports more than they're working on their own workout.(19:47) And I just, I feel like there's, I want like a fucking elite level Navy seal team six, like gym that people are really dedicated. (19:58) I like being around people that are dedicated to mastering their craft. (20:02) And at the end of the day, I was just on a podcast earlier.(20:06) Shout out to Amy P. (20:07) She's in Next Level Podcast Accelerator. (20:08) She takes her podcast really seriously.(20:12) I appreciated that a lot. (20:13) Her intro and outro was great. (20:16) She asked great questions.(20:18) She inquired, she held space. (20:20) It was awesome. (20:21) There's some people that it's so obvious you could give a fuck.(20:26) And it's like, if you don't care about your show, why would your listeners? (20:29) I think the hard thing about it, especially for the gym thing is you're not going to find that in something that's convenient. (20:33) Most likely that's the problem is like right now it's based on convenience, not performance.(20:39) Yeah, that's a great point. (20:40) And that's what sucks. (20:41) I'm lucky where the gym down the street for me is like pretty, but there's a gym 25 minutes away.(20:46) That's a much bigger, better version of the gym. (20:48) I go to that a lot of bodybuilders go to. (20:50) I just, what are we doing here?(20:52) I can't. (20:53) You'd be better for it, but you can't take that hour. (20:56) That's the thing.(20:57) I mean, you can, but I shouldn't. (21:00) And it wouldn't be, yeah, it's not an hour. (21:01) It's now a two hour endeavor because it's a half hour there and half hour back.(21:06) So is it? (21:07) That is, yeah, that is the hard thing. (21:09) Worth it.(21:09) Is it worth it? (21:10) I think that's a hard thing is it's very hard to go. (21:14) It's very hard to like.(21:17) Find a spot that is as conducive to the performance you want. (21:22) If it's not the main thing. (21:23) It's really hard.(21:25) It's really hard to do that. (21:26) I want to get, I want to go find a masseuse, massage therapist, whatever the proper term is. (21:32) That's also a physical therapist that can help me strengthen and then workout, like then work out the muscles that need to be worked out.(21:40) Yeah, that's very specialized. (21:42) It's expensive and it's, I don't know. (21:44) They might not be that local.(21:45) Like that's a whole different thing. (21:46) I gotta find, I think where you live, it might be. (21:48) I had a massage therapist in the past and I told her, I don't want this to be a good experience.(21:54) I don't need you to make sure I have a good experience. (21:56) I know that's what you need to do. (21:58) I also coached her.(21:59) So I know that's what you need to do as a massage therapist. (22:02) You need to make sure everyone has a good experience and it feels good. (22:04) I could give a fuck about that.(22:06) I want deep tissue. (22:09) This is for performance only. (22:11) I don't care if I experience anything good at all.(22:14) Just make sure I'm pliable. (22:18) But again, all this comes down to what you care about and what the people you surround yourself with care about. (22:23) And this is why I think competitions and stuff like that, I don't want to compete again in order to get around people like this.(22:30) Understandable. (22:31) But I miss the fucking tenacity that came with competing. (22:38) Like we don't have a fucking podcast competition.(22:42) I miss, I used to play basketball. (22:46) I used to do fitness competition. (22:48) Like I had more competition in my life.(22:50) There's no coach off. (22:53) There's no podcast off. (22:54) There's no, you know, and I just don't know where to feed that.(22:57) I have an idea. (23:01) The 10 pound in 10 week challenge is at least a little piece of that. (23:05) Go ahead.(23:05) I have an idea. (23:06) You and I set a date. (23:08) We do a photo shoot.(23:09) You and I do a photo shoot. (23:11) Whoever looks better gets something. (23:14) I don't want to do it.(23:16) Not interested really. (23:17) How are we going to decide who looks better? (23:19) We'll know.(23:22) Yeah, we will. (23:23) I think we're honest enough to say like, hey man, you came in looking better than I did. (23:28) I don't know.(23:29) That would push. (23:30) Here's my concern. (23:31) The business is going to suffer.(23:34) For me, I don't think it will. (23:36) Because I'm already going to do. (23:38) Okay.(23:39) Alan's going to be like, hey man, because dude, you know how I work. (23:42) Can we record later? (23:43) I'm only in my third hour at the gym here.(23:45) I got to really, really. (23:46) That's what I'm saying, man. (23:47) I have a very all or nothing.(23:49) I dial everything up to 11. (23:50) That's the other piece is, is it even conducive to the, we're going to, we're doing a future episode on this. (23:56) Goals in conflict.(23:58) We can, we can carry that over to that for sure. (24:01) We'll talk out there about this. (24:02) Cause I do want something.(24:04) Something has to shift. (24:05) The 10 pound in 10 week challenge excites me. (24:07) We have someone in there.(24:08) JK, shout out to you. (24:10) He's, he was deadlifting three plates plus earlier today. (24:13) He had chalk in the gym.(24:14) Like I love that shit. (24:15) I, I want more of that in my life. (24:19) I don't really want to not be competitive.(24:29) I don't want to be toxic, but I want to be in a competitive environment where people really care about results and about, I don't know. (24:37) I know at some point I'm going to put together some sort of like seal team six metaphorically business bootcamp where you get kicked out. (24:45) If you don't do your shit, I already have a list of people.(24:49) And it's going to be completely selected by me because I'm not interested. (24:53) If you're not like out of your fucking mind a little bit, but. (24:57) Back to this.(24:58) You're only going to be as next level as the people you surround yourself with. (25:01) I'm very grateful. (25:02) We have a community of 250 people all over the world through all of our private WhatsApp groups.(25:06) I track all that. (25:08) I'm very grateful. (25:09) We have a next level community.(25:11) I don't want to be the most next level in the next level community. (25:16) But I also know that I'm supposed to be as a leader in a way. (25:19) So I'm a little conflicted with that.(25:20) But here's what I would say. (25:23) If you don't have people around you that push you. (25:29) That challenge you, you are leaving potential on the table.(25:32) You are. (25:34) You just are. (25:35) There is something about competition that just, there's another notch.(25:39) That's just, it's like a four cylinder car versus a five cylinder. (25:43) It's just that extra, that extra edge that I feel like you and I used to have more of. (25:49) And we're, as we've gotten successful, what a surprising problem to have.(25:53) Right? (25:54) We've gotten more successful than a lot of our mentors. (25:56) We've gotten more successful than a lot of the podcasters we started with.(25:59) And I'm grateful. (26:00) I'm grateful to be successful. (26:01) I don't care about what we did in the past.(26:04) I care about what we're going to accomplish. (26:07) I want to dial this up, not down. (26:09) And I want to be around people who care more about their goals and dreams than they do about their fucking lifestyle.(26:16) Well, I think sometimes that means you've got to go visit another community and see. (26:22) That's the hard part. (26:23) Build it.(26:24) Or build it. (26:25) Yeah. (26:25) Build it.(26:25) But that takes longer, right? (26:27) And I think that's the way to go long-term, obviously. (26:30) To bring this full circle, I'm more motivated, obviously, by being behind.(26:36) You're more motivated by being ahead. (26:38) Everyone should identify which is which for them. (26:40) But you need both.(26:41) For sure. (26:42) You need both.

Alan Lazaros

(26:43) But you can't shut down.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:43) When you teach things, you learn it better. (26:46) And when you learn things, you learn faster. (26:49) Yeah.(26:50) And you have to know, if you're ahead and you shut down, that's not good. (26:53) If you're behind and you shut down, that's not good either. (26:57) Just understanding that.(26:58) Just because you're ahead doesn't mean you can slow down. (27:00) Just because you're behind doesn't mean it's not worth speeding up. (27:03) How do you mitigate that?(27:05) Because I think unconsciously I do slow down when I'm ahead. (27:09) Maybe. (27:10) Abundance is comfort for me.(27:12) So just because... (27:12) I want all of it. (27:18) Because for so much of this journey...(27:22) We were joking about how I made, whatever it was, $7,275 or something in 2019. (27:28) Dude, none of this seemed sustainable at that point. (27:31) I was losing sleep over...(27:33) I still am stressed out and there's still a lot going on, but it's not about that. (27:38) It's like, I feel like I can do this way better with more resources. (27:42) That, I think.(27:43) More resources, though, takes away some necessity. (27:47) There is an optimal stopping problem there. (27:49) I don't think I'm there yet.(27:51) Okay. (27:52) Metaphorically, let's do this. (27:55) $100,000 in your bank account, are you more or less motivated?(27:59) More. (28:00) More. (28:01) Now, okay, now a million.(28:05) I like to think more. (28:07) $10,000,000? (28:10) It's just in my bank.(28:11) Yeah. (28:13) When does it pass? (28:15) Because there's a part where necessity isn't high enough anymore.(28:19) This is a thing. (28:21) Yeah, but the necessity is you, not the number. (28:25) Well, that's because you're not number one.(28:27) And if you were... (28:29) Well, yeah, I think that's a different... (28:30) I think that's kind of what has revealed itself in this conversation is, Emilia is as hardworking or harder working than me, which I love that.(28:43) But I want her to be ahead in everything. (28:46) But I know she won't be, right? (28:49) And I don't know what to do because at the end of the day, everybody needs to find a way to be around peers that drive you.(29:02) It depends what you care about, though. (29:03) Like, do you care about having fun? (29:06) Then you go hang out with fun people.(29:08) But this is the key. (29:10) We used to talk about this last thing. (29:12) We would call it growth bucket and relationship bucket.(29:15) The growth bucket are people who care about goals and pretend to care about the relationship. (29:20) They still care about the relationship. (29:21) Let me rephrase.(29:22) They still care about the relationship. (29:24) The growth bucket is goals matter first, relationship second. (29:28) That is me.(29:30) The relationship bucket is relationship matters first, goals second. (29:36) The growth bucket is your goals, your relationships are a byproduct of your goals. (29:41) You and I's relationship is a byproduct of my goals.(29:45) The relationship bucket is your goals are a byproduct of the relationship, meaning you upped your goals to be in a relationship with me, metaphorically, right? (29:54) That is always happening. (29:57) And if you are in the relationship bucket, that means the relationship matters to you more than the goals, meaning I think you'll dial up your goals and dreams if you're around people who have bigger goals and dreams.(30:10) That's why I wanted to date a partner and marry a partner who had bigger goals and dreams than me. (30:14) Because I knew if they had bigger goals and dreams than me before meeting me, I knew they would drive me. (30:20) They would challenge me.(30:20) I knew I would not be a bottleneck. (30:22) I knew that I would, I wanted to be the bottleneck. (30:25) You and I had that conversation.(30:27) I want to be the bottleneck because I know I won't be. (30:30) You know, in the past, it always felt like dragging people up a hill. (30:34) They didn't want to climb.(30:35) And I told you in this journey, I have to do this, Kev, with or without you. (30:39) I have to. (30:40) I want it to be with you, but I can't drag you up a mountain.(30:43) You don't want to climb. (30:45) And luckily you want to climb it. (30:46) And you said you'd tell me if you don't.(30:48) But like, I'm never going to not want to climb. (30:51) It's who I am. (30:52) It's how I'm wired.(30:53) And if you're that way, that's great. (30:55) But you need to find other people like that. (30:58) Because most likely you're the engine, you know, in most of your relationships.(31:02) You're the catalyst. (31:04) And while I think that's great for being a leader, I think it can be a bottleneck. (31:10) It's a surprising challenge that feels like a first world problem.(31:14) And it totally is. (31:14) And I don't mean that in a negative way. (31:16) But like, I'm very grateful we're successful.(31:19) But this has really, being successful comes with some level of, not complacency, but a little bit of comfort. (31:32) Like, this is, we're just winning now? (31:35) We're just going to win now?(31:36) I don't want to win. (31:37) I want to go lose at a bigger game. (31:40) Well, that's what drives you.(31:43) I like winning. (31:46) Well, then you can win in a smaller game. (31:48) I like winning.(31:49) I want to lose at a bigger game. (31:50) I don't think if I won the championship, I'd get complacent. (31:53) If I want to win it again, the same.(31:56) But at least it would be with people that are as driven as me. (32:01) Well, I think it would be a worthy opponent, you know? (32:04) Yeah, yeah, yeah.(32:04) The hard thing about all this is, like for somebody like you specifically, you have to stop doing this for a minute to go find those people. (32:13) And I don't think you're willing to do it. (32:15) I'm wondering why we don't attract more of those people.(32:19) I think a lot of very, very, very high performing people are very arrogant, unfortunately. (32:25) And they're hard to be around. (32:27) Sometimes that's what it takes to, I mean, it would be way easier to be way more successful if we were just arrogant and didn't care about people.(32:34) It would be so much easier externally. (32:36) I will say that. (32:37) I'm glad we went there.(32:39) It's not that I can't be around those people. (32:42) It's they kind of, I think they're arrogant. (32:45) Yeah.(32:46) Well, I think that's a piece of it. (32:47) And I think I get it. (32:48) I come off arrogant too, but it's hard for me to be around some of those people because they're so douchey.(32:55) They, they, and they don't like when someone highlights the fact that they're actually not that great. (33:05) You know, it's different for me than if we've learned anything over the years, it's you and I always see different sides of people. (33:12) So I don't, I don't really see, it depends if like, if I, I can't tell you how many times I've been on a podcast and the person's like, oh yeah, this high level mastermind.(33:21) I'd love for you to be a thousand bucks a month, but you'll meet some really, it's like, I'm cool. (33:24) Thank you. (33:25) I'm good.(33:25) I'll pass. (33:26) I'm all set. (33:27) But I meet a lot of cool people in the gym who are in really good shape that are humble.(33:33) I could work out with them if I wanted to. (33:35) I just don't want to. (33:36) That's the thing.(33:37) It's like, I want to work out by myself or with Taryn. (33:39) I don't really want to have a, I don't want someone that's going to be calling me on the weekend. (33:44) Hey man, you trying to get a lift in?(33:45) I already lifted. (33:46) Like, I don't, I'm not really looking for that. (33:48) Well, here would be my call to action because I'm with you.(33:51) I want to work out with Amelia. (33:53) I do. (33:53) So with pros and cons, a lot of this was just me complaining, but for anyone out there who wants to be a part of our 10 pound in 10 week challenge, like if you want to take fitness seriously, you're going to have to put some skin in the game.(34:05) You're going to have to say something. (34:07) Someone showed up to Heather. (34:08) She said, are we going to put our weight in the group?(34:11) It's a private WhatsApp group. (34:12) And I said, respect everybody's privacy. (34:14) Keep it in the private group.(34:15) But yeah, this is a public accountability group. (34:18) I don't care. (34:20) Listen, I don't care how much you weigh.(34:22) Yeah. (34:23) I care that you're trying to lose 10 pounds or whatever it is, five pounds, two pounds. (34:26) I don't care.(34:27) I know that that's scary for people. (34:30) Kevin and I have, we've, we've coached people all over the world. (34:33) I know that sharing your weight is scary.(34:35) Get over it. (34:36) Let's get over it. (34:38) Let's, let's fear chase.(34:39) Let's put ourselves out there. (34:41) And if you fail, you fail. (34:42) At least you're putting yourself on the line and you're with people who are going to be respectful.(34:46) No one's going to bully you. (34:47) No one's going to make fun of you. (34:48) We will kick them out of the group.(34:51) And if you want to really level up, I really hope you join our 10 pound in 10 week challenge. (34:55) Reach out to Kevin or I on Instagram. (34:59) The weigh in is due February 1st and your goal weight, all you do is weigh in and subtract a certain number.(35:05) And then April 11th is, is the final way. (35:08) And Kevin and I are doing it. (35:10) Amy Lenious is doing it.(35:11) She is only doing, I think, five pounds, which is good because she's leading by example and not having to do 10. (35:18) We don't care how much you want to lose. (35:19) We just care that you set a goal.(35:22) Oh, and if you're looking for, we will be in there every day. (35:26) I'm going to hit the goal. (35:27) It's a guarantee.(35:28) I will be there with you doing it. (35:30) Alan's going to hit the goal. (35:31) Like we've proved that over the past.(35:32) So that's something too, is like, we're all doing it. (35:34) And I'm, I mean it, I'm going to do it. (35:37) So I said, I'm going to do it.(35:39) I'm going to do it. (35:40) So that's the thing too, is there's people there that are going to be very committed. (35:45) This is a really good example of greater than, less than, or equal to.(35:49) There'll be some people that are really going to, they're going to struggle more than you. (35:52) There are going to be some people that are on a similar wavelength and they're going to be people like Alan and I, who maybe are ahead in this because we've been doing it for a long time. (35:58) But to Alan's point, I'm not even going to look at your weight.(36:01) I don't care what you put. (36:02) Awesome. (36:03) Good for you.(36:03) I'm not going to go through and be like, oh my goodness, I can't, I can't believe this person put this. (36:07) Like whatever, you do your thing, do your thing. (36:09) I'm going to weigh 185 pounds to start.(36:11) I can tell you that right now. (36:13) Probably 210 for me. (36:14) We'll see.(36:16) All right. (36:16) Masterclass, quickly. (36:19) So the link will be in the show notes to the masterclass.(36:22) It is February 5th, 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. (36:30) Totally free. (36:31) Register.(36:32) Name and email only. (36:33) All good. (36:34) Totally private.(36:35) No AI bots, no recordings, no screen caps. (36:38) Totally private. (36:38) Just us behind the scenes.(36:39) We do enough front facing. (36:41) I want these to be private and vulnerable and honest and candid. (36:44) All right.(36:44) So this is going to be setting your life up for the most productive year you've ever had, aka 2026. (36:50) How do we set up your environment, set up your life, set up your tracking system, set up your life for the most productive year? (36:58) If you can't end 2026 saying this is the most productive and effective year I've ever had, I will consider that masterclass not have achieved the goal.(37:05) So that's the goal. (37:06) We are here to get better, not feel better. (37:08) Come with that expectation.(37:09) I am not here to affirm you. (37:11) I am not here to try to tell you that it's all going to work out. (37:14) I'm here to teach you the things that I've seen work in coaching where we're focused more on performance than we are on like feelings.(37:22) Boom. (37:23) All right. (37:23) As always, we love you.(37:24) We appreciate you. (37:24) Grateful for each and every one of you. (37:26) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(37:32) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (37:35) Next Level Nation. (37:37) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(37:41) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (37:43) We mean it when we say family. (37:45) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.(37:48) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (37:52) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.