The Self-Worth Sweet Spot (2348)

Your confidence is only as accurate as your self-assessment. In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan challenge how most people think about self-worth and explain why being miscalibrated quietly leads to stalled growth, missed opportunities, and frustration. They break down a more grounded way to evaluate yourself using results, feedback, and consistency, so your confidence is built on something real.

If you are serious about leveling up, this conversation will change how you measure progress. Listen now and close the gap between where you think you are and where you actually are.

_______________________

Learn more about:
Join us on April 11th for Next Level Live. This is where we take the principles from the podcast and turn them into a structured implementation. If you want real progress, pay attention. More details coming soon.

Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

_______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(5:39) Market value, raises, and realistic expectations
(11:14) Starting from zero and rebuilding credibility
(15:02) Pricing mistakes and entitlement traps
(18:01) Proof, results, and earned confidence
(24:33) Why reps create momentum and skill
(31:13) Inaccurate thinking that limits success
(35:10) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) One of the things that you have heard us complain about many times is people at the end of the journey giving terrible advice to people at the beginning of the journey. (0:09) Our goal today is to not do that.

Alan Lazaros

(0:13) So, self-worth. (0:16) Do you have enough of it? (0:17) Do you not have enough of it?(0:19) Is it low? (0:20) Is it high? (0:20) What's optimal?(0:21) What's ideal? (0:23) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:25) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:27) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:30) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:37) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:43) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:59) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:06) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:11) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,348, the self-worth sweet spot. (1:19) The hell are you laughing at, man? (1:20) That reminded me, I was editing a clip one time, and I took a video of it, and we messed up an intro that we were doing for a guest, so we were trying to piece together you, like, just continuing the sentence that you said, and you said the same exact thing in the replay.(1:39) It's a whole thing. (1:40) I remember, I think I actually peed my pants how badly I was laughing when I watched that back. (1:45) And it just reminded, what you did just reminded me of that.(1:47) I think I have a giant hair in my eye. (1:49) That's the worst. (1:51) It is not good.(1:52) It's not ideal. (1:53) Okay, I was putting together the new and updated presentation for the Next Level Podcast Accelerator. (2:00) Tonight is the final teaching session for podcasting.(2:07) We have a connection session, but this is the final teaching session. (2:09) We're going to go deep into a lot of things. (2:11) And one of the things we're talking about is entitlement and humility, and how to figure out, especially in the beginning, how to actually be humble enough to take opportunities that you are capable of getting.(2:22) And my example is, I screenshotted an email thread that I had with somebody named Brian, who was not a client at the time. (2:31) This was somebody who had expressed interest in working together, but we exchanged 100 emails. (2:40) I have a screenshot of the 100 email thread before he ever paid us a dollar.(2:46) And I think that's a really good example of humility. (2:50) Is this a big client now? (2:51) Yes.(2:52) Nice. (2:53) Yeah, this is a very good sized client. (2:55) A lot of opportunities.

Alan Lazaros

(2:57) How many other 100 email threads do you have that have brought us zero revenue?

Kevin Palmieri

(3:01) Honestly, this is the first time I've ever done this. (3:04) Yeah, that's why it's so hard.

Alan Lazaros

(3:10) Yeah, you don't know what seeds are going to grow.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:12) You don't know what seeds are going to grow. (3:13) And I wouldn't advise... (3:16) Because the old me would say, everybody should do this.(3:19) You should definitely just email somebody and answer every single question they have for as long as it takes. (3:24) And then maybe eventually they'll work with you. (3:26) I still err on that side.(3:28) I will always err on that side. (3:29) But there's an optimal stopping problem where it's like, look, okay, so what is it? (3:34) 150 emails?(3:36) 200 emails? (3:37) When do you decide this is not worth it, and I'm not actually going to get the result. (3:42) So here's the conversation.(3:44) In the beginning, I think you should do everything for free. (3:47) And I think you should understand that every opportunity is a potential seed planted. (3:51) It's a seed planted.(3:52) It's a potential seed that will grow.

Alan Lazaros

(3:54) When you say everything for free, you mean other than the products and service that you sell.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:01) To build relationships. (4:02) Even in the beginning, you start out and you got nothing going on and it cost you $4 to make a fucking t-shirt. (4:09) Just send some people the t-shirt for free.(4:12) Lose 10 bucks and send it to 10 people. (4:15) I know you're out a hundred bucks, but you just maybe got 10 people that like your product and maybe you'll build a relationship with them. (4:23) And you can't do that a thousand times.(4:25) Can you give an example of what you did? (4:28) Because you and I coached for free in the beginning. (4:29) We coached for free.(4:30) I still to this day do free podcast breakthrough sessions with anybody who wants them. (4:34) There's no vetting. (4:36) I don't look you up to see if you're a good potential client.(4:39) There's none of that. (4:40) You literally have access to the account only. (4:42) You can book it big, small.(4:45) You don't even have to have a podcast yet.

Alan Lazaros

(4:47) We're going to have to have both sides of the coin. (4:50) You're still operating from old. (4:51) That's what I'm saying.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:52) That's what I'm saying.

Alan Lazaros

(4:52) In the beginning, that is, you know, meet your listeners and yeah, of course.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:55) But I think most people are taught. (4:59) I think most people come in with lower self-worth and they're like, I will do anything to get an opportunity. (5:06) Then I think they're taught, no, no, you got to know your fucking value.(5:10) You're going to know your value because if you don't know your value, you're going to get walked on it. (5:13) And that is true. (5:16) And in the beginning, I would rather be under and have very low self-worth and get opportunities and then set boundaries as I go.(5:23) But to your point, I still am operating on the lower end of this. (5:29) So I thought it would make for a cool conversation because if you're somebody out there, if you want to be more successful, we are saying that it's your responsibility to do that. (5:39) But that means you're going to have to ask for a potential raise, but you can't go in and say double, double.(5:46) I think it's fair based on my output, but you don't want to go in and say, I don't know, a thousand bucks would be good for me. (5:53) I think a thousand, about a thousand would be good for the year. (5:57) What's the optimal stopping problem?(5:59) How do you get there?

Alan Lazaros

(5:59) That's my thought. (6:01) So there's a client of mine who we talked about this recently. (6:05) She got a 1% raise this year and she was hoping for 5% and she's one of the top performers at her company.(6:14) And I said to her, something going on with my headphones here. (6:19) Sorry. (6:21) Okay.(6:21) I said to her, it depends though. (6:24) It depends. (6:25) And this is why it's, I always end up talking about the economy.(6:28) Got to go there for a second, for a second. (6:30) So just like there's a buyer's and seller's market for homes, and I'll explain this very briefly. (6:35) So if you sell your home in a seller's market, you're going to get top dollar for the house, which basically means supply and demand.(6:45) It means more people want to buy homes than there are homes available. (6:52) Therefore, every home price goes up because there's less cookies in the cookie jar and everybody loves cookies. (6:57) Okay.(6:58) When there's, and we all know this, this is, this is the best metaphor. (7:03) You ever find some new thing that you just love? (7:07) Okay.(7:07) We have these new protein bars. (7:09) We got 50 of them right now. (7:10) Now it's probably like 25.(7:11) When there's only one left, it's like, Ooh, you value it more. (7:18) So supply and demand. (7:20) Okay.(7:21) Back to the client. (7:23) I said, okay, how many people in your position are at this company? (7:28) She said, I don't know, 55.(7:30) Sounds like you do know. (7:33) 55, 56 and a half. (7:35) One of them is very short.(7:36) I'm joking. (7:38) I said, where do you fall on the bell curve of pay? (7:41) She said, very top.(7:43) And I said, okay, you're not going to get a raise. (7:45) And I said, Hey, is the company winning? (7:48) Are they winning?(7:49) Like, are they growing? (7:50) She's like, I don't know. (7:51) And I was like, okay, there are indicators.(7:54) Are they hiring or are they firing? (7:57) Are they investing more for a bigger, better, brighter future? (8:00) Are they in momentum or are they like, you can tell, I can tell when a company's dying, I can tell.(8:07) Everybody, when you walk into the next restaurant you go into, ask yourself, is this company dying or is this thriving? (8:13) Okay. (8:14) And you can tell.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:16) Big part of my decision-making. (8:17) If I walk in there and there's no one in there, I start questioning. (8:20) What the hell?(8:21) Did I miss something here? (8:22) Or is this just a hole in the wall that nobody knows about yet?

Alan Lazaros

(8:26) She said, they're opening new branches. (8:28) They're hiring. (8:28) I said, okay, the company's growing.(8:30) Okay. (8:31) And I said, if you were at the bottom of those 55 and a top performer, yeah, I would be annoyed that you didn't get a raise. (8:37) But if you're already at the top, they're not just going to give you raises.(8:41) And it's like, why? (8:42) Okay. (8:43) Because there's a market value for you at every given moment.(8:51) People understand market value really well when it comes to dating. (8:55) What is higher market value for a man? (8:57) Typically, not always, but typically.(8:59) Tall or short? (9:01) Tall. (9:01) Okay.(9:02) Six figures or broke? (9:04) Six figures. (9:05) Nice car or crappy car?(9:06) Nice car. (9:07) Six pack or out of shape? (9:08) Six pack.(9:09) Okay. (9:10) Every time. (9:10) Why?(9:12) Because they're rare. (9:13) Especially that. (9:14) You want to talk about that combination?(9:16) That's a very rare combination. (9:17) And 20% of men, 80% of women want 20% of men. (9:22) 80% of men want 20% of women.(9:24) It's this interesting sort of dating thing. (9:26) There's a thing called dataclism. (9:28) It's a book.(9:28) Okay, Cupid, founder, data, not interested. (9:32) But what I will say is that typically there's 20% of the men at a party are attracting 80% of the women and vice versa. (9:40) Is that fair?(9:40) Everyone been to a high school party. (9:42) You guys know this. (9:43) Okay.(9:43) I was not in the top 20% in high school. (9:45) I'm fucking certain of that. (9:47) Completely overlooked.(9:50) So the same thing is true when it comes to this, knowing your worth. (9:55) Brother, you called it short kings two episodes ago. (9:59) That's me, baby.(10:00) You can't play the same as me, man. (10:02) No, no facts. (10:03) I'm six foot two.(10:05) It's a different game. (10:07) I'm not making it wrong, but you better be really hardworking and really smart. (10:10) Okay.(10:11) And obviously Taryn values you in the inside out as well. (10:14) But in the beginning, before you know the inside, you're going to take a look at the goddamn cover. (10:18) Don't judge a book by its cover.(10:20) You got nothing else to go on when you're in the library or the bookstore and you're like, oh, that looks good. (10:27) Okay. (10:27) Which is why everyone's marketing is so good.(10:29) We talked about this versus the inside out. (10:31) And I, I hate that, but it is the facts, which is why everyone's inflating and faking. (10:35) So back to the original point in the beginning.(10:38) And I was thinking about this when you were talking. (10:40) How interesting is it? (10:43) And I'm going to use me as an example only because I did the whole traditional.(10:46) A lot of people did the same path. (10:48) I did preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, corporate. (10:53) That is a 15 year stretch.(10:59) I stayed in corporate for probably four or five years. (11:01) So more than that.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:03) Yeah. (11:03) More than that.

Alan Lazaros

(11:04) So that's, I mean, when do you go to kindergarten? (11:06) I'm not the guy.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:07) I'm not the guy.

Alan Lazaros

(11:08) Preschool five. (11:10) I honestly don't know. (11:11) Okay.(11:12) The point is, is okay. (11:14) Two decades of my career. (11:17) This is why entrepreneurship is so bad.(11:20) Ready? (11:21) It took me 20 years to build the career that I had. (11:27) And I decided to go all the way back to zero.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:30) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(11:30) Lost it all in one lost it all. (11:32) And I didn't lose it. (11:33) I decided to quit, but so I chose to lose it.(11:37) But here's the thing in the beginning, you and I coached for free because we were trying it on. (11:45) We wanted to meet our listeners. (11:47) We wanted to learn how to coach.(11:50) We wanted to focus on getting to know our ideal listener avatar. (11:53) We were just building. (11:55) So you have to start all the way back at zero.(11:57) So you and I, I was making almost 200 grand a year. (12:00) Went all the way to zero. (12:01) You were making over a hundred grand a year.(12:03) You went all the way to zero. (12:04) So our combined income went from 300 grand to $0. (12:09) That is like pure insanity now in hindsight.(12:14) Pretty devastating. (12:14) Yeah. (12:15) And we went right on past zero.(12:17) And you know, what's interesting is like, I do understand why people don't do that. (12:22) Of course. (12:23) Back then it was like, this makes perfect sense.(12:26) This is the best idea ever. (12:27) This is where the future's headed. (12:28) Podcasting is in its infancy.(12:30) Now looking back, it's like, oh, our $300,000 a year went to $0 a year. (12:37) Less, less than zero negative dollars a year. (12:42) No wonder why people thought we were nuts.(12:45) I completely understand. (12:46) But in the beginning, your market value is zero.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:49) No one knows you. (12:50) What advice do you give to people on this? (12:52) Because I think that in the beginning, my advice is always do it for free.(12:56) You've got to get your foot in the door. (12:58) Got to. (12:59) And when you get, there's a line of people that want to get in the door.(13:03) So what can you do? (13:04) You're not going to differentiate, differentiate yourself on your resume or your skills or your perception. (13:10) You're going to differentiate yourself based on the amount of work you're doing for very little money in the beginning.(13:14) I'm not saying forever, but that is the differentiator. (13:18) That, that is the thing that I think a lot of people aren't willing to do because they're told you got to know your worth. (13:23) I'm not saying you shouldn't know your worth.(13:27) There's a difference between knowing your worth and delaying your worth. (13:29) So you can actually create proof. (13:32) Does it?(13:33) Okay, cool. (13:34) Awesome. (13:34) You have a lot of worth.(13:35) I don't care because I don't know that yet. (13:39) I need to see results in the real world.

Alan Lazaros

(13:41) And then what's a good tangible example of this. (13:43) Okay. (13:44) It's the best video game system ever, but I need to play it first.(13:47) I need a demo. (13:49) This is the problem with entrepreneurship is you don't really have anything to show in the beginning. (13:55) You don't have any credibility.(13:57) You don't have any perception. (13:58) You don't, you don't have the social proof. (14:03) Like when I say I have 26 clients, some of them, multimillionaires finance, all different industries all over the world.(14:10) Like that says, okay, he obviously knows what he's doing. (14:15) You can't retain multimillionaire clients. (14:17) If you're not good at what you do, unless I'm lying, which I hope no one thinks that.(14:21) I mean, honestly, a lot of people lie.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:23) So maybe people think that, but well, that means we're both lying because I have been on this journey with you for nine years. (14:28) So I've been lying a lot too.

Alan Lazaros

(14:30) It's just hard. (14:31) It's like in the 21st century, how do you, when everyone's lying, it's like, how do we make sure people like, we're not, I can show you the list. (14:38) I can give you the emails.(14:39) I got to ask some of the people, I can give you a few emails, but anyways, back to the point, who was the client? (14:48) I had, I coached her for like three weeks. (14:52) We were in Colorado, Arizona, Colorado, Colorado, Colorado.(14:58) And she was told to add a zero to her price.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:02) Oh yeah. (15:03) Yeah. (15:03) She was a, she was a divorce coach.(15:06) She was somebody who had gone through divorce.

Alan Lazaros

(15:08) She was charging 500 bucks and she was told to add a zero to charge 5,000 an hour. (15:16) I don't know. (15:17) Was it hourly?(15:19) I don't remember. (15:20) Maybe it was 500 a month and she was told to charge 5,000 a month. (15:23) I think, I think.(15:24) Yeah. (15:24) And she went out of business not long after that. (15:26) And I tried to tell her not to do that.(15:28) You did too.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:31) Oh, she was such a sweetheart. (15:32) She was such a, for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(15:33) Yeah. (15:34) Sincere interest to help people could have, could have built a real business. (15:37) For sure.(15:38) Could have built. (15:39) Now, do I think she's going to be a multimillionaire? (15:43) I'm not sure, but I, she could have built a six figure business for sure.(15:46) If she did, if she, if she had given us, yeah, this is the problem. (15:51) If she had given us two to five years, we could have built with her a six figure business, but that's the problem, dude.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:57) Like, that, that's the, the issue is your people are trying to come out of the gate hot. (16:03) Yep. (16:04) And you're, I think this is the biggest issue.(16:06) And again, I know we're talking about a very specific thing, but think about it as it, as it crosses different niches and categories and jobs, you're thinking what's in it for me, not, not what's in it for the people I'm trying to help. (16:16) You're not thinking, well, what is the product solve? (16:19) You're thinking, how much can I make off the product?(16:20) That's the problem in the beginning.

Alan Lazaros

(16:23) When you add a zero, you're basically making it 10 times more money. (16:28) And why does it make sense? (16:30) Imagine going to your boss and saying, Hey, can I add a zero to my salary?(16:35) I think it makes total sense.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:37) If you're trying to get like 10, very high ticket things and you've been doing it for 20 years. (16:43) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (16:44) Great.(16:44) A hundred percent. (16:45) But that's a big if, well, I know, but what I'm saying is the people, the people that gave that advice were on the very, this for me, 11, you nine years, they're on the very tail there where they were on the very tail end.

Alan Lazaros

(16:57) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:58) And also in fairness, a lot of the people in that room have been doing this for a long time. (17:07) Is that true? (17:08) Yeah.(17:08) They might have been, again, I don't add a zero. (17:11) I don't think that's ever good. (17:13) I'm not saying that that was the worst advice that most of the people in there should have raised their prices, but that, that woman should not have gotten that advice.(17:20) That was bad advice. (17:20) I still think that whole thing at a zero is too much.

Alan Lazaros

(17:23) I think that is too much. (17:27) Imagine if Netflix was like, yo, real quick, everybody, we're going to do 230 bucks a month. (17:33) Are you game?(17:34) Are you kidding me? (17:35) They would lose 90% of people. (17:38) I'm going to Disney plus motherfucker.(17:40) Are you kidding me? (17:41) I'm going to go back to YouTube TV. (17:43) That's what I'm saying.(17:44) Like, I'm going to go back to Napster. (17:46) I'm kidding. (17:47) No, but like, to me, it doesn't make any, it goes back to that success formula of grow more, give more, get more in that order.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:57) You've got to do the thing. (17:58) That's the hard thing that I think this is why it matters so much. (18:01) If you really want to help yourself build yourself worth, you've got to do the thing that you're trying to do.(18:07) Not think about how to maximize the results in the beginning. (18:11) I think you have to understand that you doing it is going to lead to you feeling better. (18:15) We, we, if you have low self-worth adjusting, your pricing's not going to fix it.(18:21) It's gonna make it worse. (18:22) You're gonna feel like a fucking imposter. (18:23) But if you say I've done 3000 coaching calls, you're probably going to feel better about raising prices or charging what you're worth.(18:31) Quote unquote, intrinsically, Alan and I are worth the same. (18:36) Awesome. (18:37) As a business coach, Alan is worth way more than I am.(18:41) Okay. (18:42) Why? (18:42) Let's unpack that.(18:43) Because you have a master's degree in this.

Alan Lazaros

(18:46) You've, you have coached however many thousands of hours on business. (18:52) That's all credibility. (18:53) I want you to point to the real reason why, which is I can make someone else more money than you can.(18:58) I can help them grow their business better than you can. (19:00) Yeah. (19:00) Yeah.(19:00) You can help them get results better. (19:02) And then if we go, why? (19:03) Yeah, exactly.(19:03) And that's, I think what we need to get back to is you're always paying for a result. (19:10) Like I, I did this exercise real quick, uh, with that same client I was talking about earlier. (19:16) And I wanted to see, I drew it on my remarkable and I hid my screen and I said, I want to know if you know why you hire me, like, why do you work with me?(19:26) What's the real reason? (19:26) And I wrote it down in this big bubble and I circled it. (19:29) And what I wrote down is you want certainty that you're going to achieve your goals and dreams.(19:36) Boom. (19:36) And I circled it and I wanted to see if she could come up with it. (19:40) And she got really close.(19:41) I forget what she said, but I, I revealed it. (19:43) The big reveal, quote unquote, and my coaching coaching sessions probably sound weird. (19:47) Um, but I w I said, I was testing to see if you knew why like everything you spend money on, there's a reason, but you might not have thought about it in a while.(19:59) You ever go through your finances and go, wait a minute, I don't need that shit anymore. (20:03) Right? (20:05) Okay.(20:06) If you want certainty that you're going to achieve your goals, hire me. (20:11) That's really what you're paying for. (20:14) Certainty.(20:15) You're going to grow your business certainty. (20:16) You're going to be successful. (20:17) I can actually provide that if you're willing to work, if you are willing to learn, if you're willing to grind, if you're like, there's a lot of ifs, which is why I don't work with certain people anymore.(20:27) Um, because I realized the people that I can't get results. (20:30) I just am like, I can't do this. (20:32) I can't help you get results.(20:33) So you shouldn't pay me. (20:34) So I'm not interested. (20:35) I'm wasting my time and yours and you're wasting money.(20:37) Let's let's move on. (20:38) And then there's some people I don't want to help because we don't need more of those people. (20:42) Um, just bullies and spoiled brats, but back to the point of this, when someone is hiring you for something, I don't care if you're an entrepreneur, an entrepreneur, a freelancer, you are being paid for an outcome.(20:57) There's an outcome they want. (21:00) You need to figure out what that outcome is and make sure you're crushing it. (21:04) And then you can ask for more money when you're already world-class at what you do.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:10) That's the hard thing is like so many of the opportunities I'll speak for me just because I know my experience better than any other experience. (21:17) So many of the opportunities we've got have just been because we already had opportunities with the people we have. (21:23) Somebody, somebody pinged me today and said, Hey, this client that we just got is probably going to want to work with us on this and this and this and this awesome.(21:32) If I wasn't thoughtful on getting them as a client in the first place, we wouldn't have any of these opportunities.

Alan Lazaros

(21:38) So what is the thing that seems like low self-worth competitive pricing that you did to make this happen? (21:50) I have someone who's asking me to, Hey, can I put my link? (21:55) I know you're listening, brother.(21:57) Can I put my link in my show notes or in my YouTube videos where I can get a referral bonus if you get clients? (22:06) And I said, dude, I'm not going to give you referral bonuses until they stay a month because some people dip and it needs to be, you got to understand I'm picky now, like I'm, but I was in the beginning. (22:15) I wasn't picky at all in the beginning to my own detriment.(22:17) Like I was, who wants to coach? (22:19) You want to coach? (22:20) Anybody want to coach?(22:21) Who wants to coach now? (22:23) No chance. (22:24) But that's because my schedule's full.(22:26) Well, you couldn't do that in the beginning. (22:27) Exactly. (22:28) If I did that in the beginning, my schedule wouldn't be full.(22:30) That's the hard thing. (22:32) Yeah. (22:32) It's, it's, if you have people waiting outside the door, you can raise your prices.(22:37) If you don't have anyone waiting, you need to figure out how to make it work. (22:42) And you, and here's my real point underneath that, the person who wants to put my link in the show notes, they trust that I'm going to deliver a really good result. (22:50) All sales is trust.(22:52) Like he knows I'm really good at what I do. (22:55) Cause I've been coaching him for years, years. (22:58) That opportunity was created.(22:59) That trust was created over years. (23:02) When he first met me, I could have been the worst coach ever. (23:06) But after three years, it's like, okay, I should bet on him because I know he's going to show up.(23:14) I know he's going to deliver. (23:16) I know he's going to over-deliver. (23:17) I know he's going to be there.(23:18) I know he's going to do this forever. (23:20) I know he's the best at this. (23:22) You have to build that.(23:23) And it's so beneath the surface in people's unconscious. (23:26) Like, why do you buy an iPhone? (23:27) No one goes, well, cause it's the best in the world.(23:30) And at least maybe they don't, maybe they do. (23:31) Maybe they don't. (23:32) I don't think so.(23:32) Like AirPods, they're so good. (23:35) They're insanely good. (23:37) I just got the gen three.(23:39) They're unfreaking believable, man. (23:42) It's, it's the best product. (23:45) I think I've maybe almost ever bought the Aura ring.(23:48) I don't sell Aura AirPods by the way.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:50) It never, you don't have to worry about it. (23:52) It's the best. (23:53) Can you, you, you went without it when you moved cause you couldn't charge it or whatever.(23:57) I still haven't. (23:58) I literally had my charger at the other place, put it down and then forgot to bring it.

Alan Lazaros

(24:02) Isn't it wild going back to not knowing your sleep score? (24:05) It's weird, right? (24:08) That was your whole life.(24:09) You did that for 34 years. (24:12) Yeah. (24:13) Yeah.(24:13) You didn't, you didn't know your sleep score for 34 years.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:16) And now going back, it's like, what? (24:19) Well, that's why awareness is so painful because what you don't, when people say what you don't know, can't hurt you. (24:23) That's not true, obviously.(24:24) But it's like when you don't know, and then you do know when you don't know again, it's worse. (24:28) Yep. (24:29) Because you know, there's a missing, there's a missing link there.(24:33) All right. (24:33) What's the, what's the big lesson in this? (24:35) I think my big lesson in this is in the beginning, you're optimizing for momentum and what builds momentum is reps.(24:46) And it is quantity in the beginning over quality. (24:51) It just is, it just is. (24:53) And we know what gets quantity doing shit for free.(24:57) That you, okay. (24:59) You want to play, you want to, you want to practice the craft of playing your fucking guitar. (25:04) You're going to wait until somebody gives you money or you're just going to go play on the street, go play on the street.(25:10) Nobody's stopping you. (25:11) You don't need, you don't need anybody to set you up with a stage. (25:14) You bring your amp, you bring your mic, you throw a bucket down.(25:17) Maybe some people throw some dollars in there. (25:19) If you play the right songs or whatever, nobody is stopping you. (25:22) One of the reasons we like podcasting so much is because we can practice speaking whenever we want.(25:27) You don't have to hire me. (25:30) You don't have to pay me. (25:31) I've done it for free 2,348 times.(25:33) I'm going to do it for free another 10,000 times. (25:35) I don't care. (25:37) And when I get an opportunity to speak, my goal and my job is to do a really freaking good job.(25:42) Really, really, really good. (25:44) But I think it, you got to put in the reps and it's really hard to get paid for reps in the beginning when you haven't put in enough reps.

Alan Lazaros

(25:51) And that is the paradox. (25:52) All right. (25:53) I'm with you.(25:54) Same exact thing. (25:55) The quality quantity sweet spot starts out with quantity. (26:00) You put in the reps and then the quality increases over time.(26:03) And as the quality increases, eventually you can charge more and more and more, but it's based on the marketplace. (26:10) I can't just be like, Hey, I want to list our home for 6 million. (26:14) It's like, okay, well, it's going to sit on the list for six years.(26:19) You're never going to sell the house. (26:20) So you have to look at, okay, what did other homes sell for in this area? (26:23) What are homes going for?(26:24) Okay. (26:24) Why is it valued at that? (26:25) Do we have to redo the deck, the kitchen, whatever it is?(26:28) Everything is that way. (26:29) But when it comes to humans, it gets weird. (26:32) What houses makes perfect sense, right?(26:35) And then when it, when it's humans, it's like, no, no, but I know my value. (26:39) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:39) But honestly though, even with houses, some people are like, no, it should be more because I, because like the living room, like we have so many memories in there. (26:47) It's like, no, no, I'm not paying for your fucking memories. (26:49) I'm gonna make my own memories.(26:50) I don't need your memories. (26:51) I got my own. (26:52) I got to make my own memories.(26:53) Is that what it is? (26:54) It's, it's emotional instead of objective. (26:55) I think it's, it's yeah.(26:57) It's very hard to just take yourself. (27:00) It feels like you're devaluing yourself. (27:02) If you go in understanding that you're not that valuable.

Alan Lazaros

(27:05) Isn't that the best metaphor for this?

Kevin Palmieri

(27:07) Like if you have everyone who wants to date you, you can be more discerning, but if you, yeah, that's how I think that's a hard one because you don't, when it comes to dating, you don't really want quantity. (27:19) You want quality. (27:21) So you can wait around.(27:24) Now, are you going to have the skills to actually maintain that relationship when you get it? (27:28) That's a, that's a different conversation, but I don't think dating works because the last thing you want to do is have 75 terrible relationships.

Alan Lazaros

(27:35) Yeah. (27:36) Yeah. (27:36) Agreed.(27:36) Agreed. (27:37) Just get the reps on like more than one date. (27:40) Yeah, I agree.(27:41) So yeah, it's a crude metaphor, but yeah, quality, quantity, sweet spot. (27:46) Kevin and I said this when we prepped for this episode, it's if the results aren't coming, you're off. (27:55) I'll, last thing I'll share, we'll get out of here.(27:58) I used to do every quarter for a couple quarters in a row. (28:01) I used to take on five clients for free for three months. (28:05) I would coach them for three months for free when I already had a six figure coaching practice.(28:12) One of those clients is still my client and we've been working together for probably three years now. (28:20) So as long as you stick with it and keep getting better at it and then make sure your syntax is right with, I get better at coaching. (28:33) I help more people with coaching than I charge more for coaching.(28:37) It needs to be in that order. (28:39) You can't just charge more because you feel like it. (28:41) This is, this is, that is not how it works.(28:44) Yeah, it's not how it works. (28:45) If, if all of a sudden everyone, I don't know if all of a sudden everyone has an iPhone, it's, you can't charge, you know, 15 grand for it anymore because everyone has one. (28:57) You know, it's, it's a, it's a marketing thing.(28:58) It's a, it's a, it's a supply and demand thing. (29:02) Like up in Canada right now, the people in Canada, you guys all know this. (29:06) The housing prices are insane.(29:08) There's too many people and not enough houses. (29:11) Like that's one of my clients. (29:13) I'm helping him buy a house.(29:14) It's like, are you kidding me? (29:16) 800 grand for that shithole. (29:18) Are you kidding me?(29:20) Oh my God. (29:21) And he's like, yeah, man, there's no, it's like, whoa, we need to get some home builders up there. (29:25) I mean, there's a huge opportunity.(29:27) That's how the market's supposed to work. (29:29) A little global economy talk with Jeff.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:32) Do you not think people care? (29:34) No, I, at this point, I think it's just a button I like to push because we, because it's just been a running joke. (29:38) It's important stuff.(29:39) I think it is. (29:40) You used to know this stuff. (29:41) You changed your life.(29:42) Look, I was, I had wisdom. (29:44) I knew shit too. (29:45) You were wisdomatic.(29:46) I was wisdomatic. (29:47) I knew supply and demand. (29:51) When I was young, I wanted a Furby.(29:54) You had a Furby? (29:56) My sister had a Furby. (29:57) Yum.(29:58) That's one of the things it did for those who don't know. (30:02) And it was the hottest Christmas present. (30:06) Couldn't get it.(30:07) Couldn't get it. (30:08) Demand, 10 out of 10. (30:10) Supply, six out of 10.(30:11) There's a delta of four. (30:12) Why'd you say that N64 thing? (30:14) I had an N64.(30:15) I did. (30:16) Goldine.

Alan Lazaros

(30:16) I remember when my neighbors got that.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:18) I was like, oh, I need one of those. (30:21) I remember I came to your house and you had Sega Dreamcast. (30:24) And I was like, what is this wizardry?(30:27) What is this? (30:28) Was it Time Cop? (30:30) Dreamcast was the shit.(30:30) Time Crisis? (30:32) No, no.

Alan Lazaros

(30:33) Dynamite Cop. (30:34) Dynamite Cop.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:35) That was the, that game was sick, man. (30:38) Man, what I wouldn't give to go back. (30:41) I might have to pick one.(30:41) I'm going to scoop one up. (30:42) I'm going to get a Dreamcast. (30:43) Dude, you should.(30:44) I'm going to get a fucking Dreamcast. (30:45) Yeah, yeah. (30:46) Okay, cool, cool.

Alan Lazaros

(30:47) Play some Dynamite Cop for old time's sake. (30:49) Some Dynamite Cop. (30:49) Dude, they're probably 500 bucks now.(30:51) Probably. (30:51) Maybe even more because they're, dude, they're antiques.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:54) Well, they're antiques. (30:55) They didn't make that many of them. (30:55) There's not that many of them.(30:56) There you go. (30:57) Supply and demand. (30:58) Same conversation.(30:58) A lot of people want them. (30:59) There's not that many of them. (31:00) All right.(31:00) How do people work with you if they want real results in the real world? (31:03) And I think having somebody in your corner with stuff like this is super helpful because you take out the emotion of it. (31:09) Somebody can just say like, hey, I know you think this, but this is actually the way it works.

Alan Lazaros

(31:13) That's why I also have coached many people in real estate. (31:16) That's why you have a realtor. (31:18) That's why you have a talent agent.(31:20) That's why you have a business coach because we're objective. (31:25) We are unemotional. (31:27) We can, there's that quote, it's hard to see the whole picture when you're in the frame.(31:33) Let me expand on that. (31:36) You are not successful. (31:38) You're not as successful as you want to be because you think inaccurately about yourself, others, or the world.(31:46) Maybe it's your value. (31:47) Maybe it's your belief. (31:48) Maybe you don't understand the economy.(31:49) Maybe you don't know how business works. (31:51) Nonprofit, profit, charity, the differences, government, business to business, business to consumer. (31:56) This chess game is complex.(31:59) I get a chance to do this with people all over the world. (32:03) I feel like I have the cheat code. (32:05) I get to do this for a living and strategize 24-7, 365.(32:09) It's not. (32:09) It's 60 hours a week though. (32:11) 60 hours a week, I get to have conversations with high-level people and I get to learn the entire chess game inside out, upside down, and sideways.(32:18) Then I get to teach it to you and then keep you on track to your dreams. (32:22) I can help you achieve your goals. (32:23) If you're willing to work, you have high humility, and you're willing to improve yourself, I can, without a question, help you achieve your goals.(32:30) I feel so confident in that. (32:32) If you're not willing to work, I can't help you at all. (32:34) I don't know if anybody can.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:36) Exactly. (32:37) I don't know if anybody can. (32:37) If you're also looking for an online virtual thing, I mean, Alan's coaching is online and virtual, but a more one-off deep dive workshop, we have Next Level Live 2026 on April 11th.(32:49) We are going to be talking success principles, success fundamentals from the comfort of my home. (32:54) We're going to have Amy's flying in. (32:57) Alan's going to be up here.(32:58) We're going to do it here. (32:59) There'll be breakout rooms. (33:01) It's going to be a party.(33:02) I just pictured her flying into the screen. (33:04) Flying into the screen? (33:05) Hopefully not.

Alan Lazaros

(33:06) Hopefully not.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:07) But we have done, how many years in a row have we done Next Level?

Alan Lazaros

(33:10) We're going to have Alan on a trampoline, Amy flying in. (33:13) It's going to be a real circus act. (33:14) I'm going to do handstands.(33:15) How many years have we done this? (33:17) I want to say eight. (33:19) This would be the eighth.(33:22) Technically, wait. (33:25) Your World Within Live was in 2018? (33:27) I don't know.(33:28) This is where the date, we've been doing this for... (33:30) And then, so we did 2017 with Confident Women's, right? (33:33) No, that was 2018.(33:33) Or did we do two in that year? (33:35) I think it was 2018. (33:36) Yeah, so 2018, 2018.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:37) 2017, I was still working on my job.

Alan Lazaros

(33:38) 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:43) So this will be our ninth year.

Alan Lazaros

(33:43) This will be the ninth. (33:45) It's pretty good. (33:46) Ninth event.(33:47) We've got it dialed in. (33:49) It will be extremely valuable. (33:51) If you come, and again, we're just plugging this.(33:53) The website's not done yet, so it will be soon to be continued. (33:58) But this will be a day where I want you to be fully present. (34:02) I think it's five hours, four hours straight of just focus.(34:07) Yeah, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(34:07) It's going to be a lot, but it's going to be good. (34:11) It's going to be a lot. (34:11) This is the next logical step.(34:14) If you listen to the podcast every day, you're already dialed in.

Alan Lazaros

(34:17) Last year, didn't we give the replay to everyone who registered? (34:20) Yes, which I think we should as well. (34:22) Yeah, agreed, agreed.(34:22) So you're going to get the replay to everyone who registered in a private Google Drive folder as well. (34:27) We're going to do, Amy's giving a full hour speech, breakout session. (34:31) Kevin, full hour speech, breakout session.(34:33) And when I say speech, I mean more of a training workshop. (34:36) And then me, breakout session. (34:37) And we're going to do a Q&A with all three of us at the end.(34:39) It's going to be a party.

Kevin Palmieri

(34:40) So we will keep you informed as we get more data. (34:44) But as of right now, April 11th, an all day event, it'll probably be like, I don't know, 11 to- Starts at 10 AM. (34:50) Five or something.(34:51) Okay, 10 to four or something like that. (34:53) You can tell I don't know what's going on.

Alan Lazaros

(34:56) Okay? (34:57) We're being very proactive. (34:58) This is- Yeah, this is good for us.(35:00) In the list of priorities, we're several months in advance. (35:02) Usually we would tell you like the night before.

Kevin Palmieri

(35:04) Like, oh, by the way, for those of you who are interested. (35:06) Oh, wait, nevermind. (35:07) This episode doesn't drop until after.(35:08) Okay. (35:09) Well, nobody's going to come. (35:10) All right, cool.(35:10) We got to go. (35:11) As always, we love you. (35:11) We appreciate you.(35:12) Grateful for each and every one of you. (35:13) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we're going to be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(35:20) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (35:23) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(35:25) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (35:29) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(35:31) We mean it when we say family. (35:33) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (35:37) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(35:40) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.