Can You Actually Be Successful Without Self-Belief? (2354)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros challenge one of the most common assumptions in personal growth that confidence must come before success. Many people wait to feel ready, certain, or worthy before they take meaningful action, and that delay quietly keeps them stuck. This episode goes straight into the psychology of self-belief, momentum, and why progress often starts before your mindset catches up.

If you’ve been hesitating, overthinking, or questioning your capability, this may change how you see readiness and what it really takes to level up your life. Do not wait for belief to appear. Create evidence that forces it to.

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Show notes:
(3:29) Naivety as a tool for starting
(9:52) Say yes before you feel ready
(11:39) Confidence comes from action
(13:05) Setting vision with low self-belief
(16:15) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Simple question to start today's episode. (0:02) Can you actually be successful without self-belief? (0:05) As somebody who tried for many, many, many moons and somehow got to where I am today, I'll tell you I, for the most part, did not have self-belief for most of this journey.(0:15) I woke up today super excited to do this at some point. (0:18) Today's the day. (0:19) Welcome to Next Level University.(0:22) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:24) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:27) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.(0:33) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (0:40) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (0:55) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.(1:02) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:08) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,354. (1:12) Can you actually be successful without self-belief?(1:16) We have a little time constraint, so we're probably going to break this into two episodes. (1:20) Don't tune out. (1:21) Hang with us.(1:22) Alan's going to ask me questions, and then we're going to see where this conversation goes. (1:24) Hopefully it will be valuable for you. (1:25) We've got group coaching in 15 minutes.(1:28) Let's do this thing. (1:28) So I woke up this morning and I was thinking about episodes and this journey, nine years now in March, it'll be nine years, and I was thinking to myself, okay, so it's very clear to me at this point that the most important thing for long-term success is self-belief. (1:44) There's other things, who you surround yourself with, focus, all that stuff, but self-belief is number one.(1:48) And the more I've coached, the more I've learned that I'm very unique. (1:52) And that's great. (1:53) Awesome.(1:53) That's not what this episode's about. (1:54) This is about the raw, real, candid conversation from Kev. (2:02) Most people do not achieve their goals and dreams.(2:05) The majority, the large majority, if you said, did you achieve your wildest dreams? (2:09) Most people would say, honestly, no. (2:12) They might not say it out loud, but in their head they would say no.(2:15) You've achieved beyond a lot of your dreams. (2:20) Your words, not mine. (2:21) And I want to have a candid conversation about how did you do that when you didn't believe in yourself?(2:27) Because in hindsight, I did, and I don't know how to answer that question. (2:33) It's hard because it, honestly, it was a constant state of anxiety. (2:37) That's the best thing.(2:38) It was always, I never felt like I was capable of doing almost any of the things I was doing. (2:45) I did as much prep as I could to make sure when I showed up, whatever that means, I was as competent as I could be, but like, dude, it was fucking stressful all the time. (2:54) It was brutal.(2:56) Most of the opportunities we got, I didn't even want because I didn't feel like I was ready for them. (3:01) Okay. (3:02) Yeah.(3:03) Good. (3:03) Good. (3:03) Good.(3:07) How does someone who doesn't believe in themself set a big vision for their life, a dream, a big goal, and then what do they do next? (3:17) Because you had a vision board that was basically you drawing on a Sharpie on a on a tack board, right? (3:23) Yeah.(3:23) And I saw it and, you know, that was great. (3:27) How do they start? (3:29) Go back to nine years ago before me and you got together.(3:34) I think there's like a piece in your mind, what's the difference between being naive and arrogant? (3:41) Is there one? (3:43) Arrogant is you think you're better than you really are.(3:45) Naive is you think the world is better than it really is. (3:49) I would say leverage as much naivete as you have, because that's a really good way to start momentum. (3:54) I was fucking delusional in the beginning.(3:57) I was delusional about, you know, like, you know, what though? (4:01) About what? (4:01) That I would talk into a microphone and people would actually listen.(4:05) That's delusional. (4:07) Why, why do you, why is that delusional? (4:09) Because I had no, to me, that was accurate.(4:12) They did listen.

Alan Lazaros

(4:13) Not really.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:14) Yeah, you did, but not many people in the beginning did for sure. (4:18) Yeah. (4:18) Well, how many people did you think would listen?(4:21) I don't know. (4:23) I guess I think we all have a delusional view of ourselves. (4:26) So it's like, yeah, but some people are delusional under, and some people are delusional old, but we're talking, we're talking to the under.(4:33) Okay. (4:33) But you, so you're, you're talking to someone who thinks they are worse than they really are.

Alan Lazaros

(4:38) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:38) So like your, your naivete is probably, it's probably going to be nobody cares why should I talk into the mic? (4:47) Like just fucking run with the opposite of that for a while. (4:51) Who cares?(4:52) Nobody's going to listen. (4:54) Start there. (4:55) Just assume worst case scenario.(5:00) And what was the biggest fear of jumping on the mic when you first started? (5:03) Judgment. (5:03) You and I listen to old episodes and it's very obvious that you have deep fear in your voice.(5:08) Judgment. (5:09) Judgment. (5:09) It was the, what are the, what are the people that I work with going to think?(5:12) What are the people that I went to high school with going to think? (5:16) Are they going to say like, oh, Kev started a podcast? (5:18) That judgment.(5:19) Did anyone do that? (5:21) I got plenty of that. (5:23) I know you did.(5:24) Yeah. (5:24) I think you probably took the brunt of it. (5:25) No, no, not really.(5:28) But I also think there was like, there's an energy about it. (5:31) If you're afraid, if you're afraid you're going to get judged, people can feel that. (5:37) What do you mean by there's an energy about it?(5:41) I don't know. (5:42) I didn't really get, I didn't really get a lot of shit. (5:46) Like still to this day.(5:47) I don't get that much shit about stuff. (5:49) And I don't know what, I don't know if it's because people know, like, I don't, I don't have time for it. (5:53) I don't have space for it.(5:54) I don't have energy for it. (5:55) You can politely fuck right off. (5:57) I don't care.(5:58) Don't message me. (5:59) Don't, I don't, I don't know. (6:02) I think there's an energy.(6:03) Like when, when somebody puts something out there and they're nervous about it, I had this, dude, I had this moment, you know, I've, I've talked about this many times. (6:13) There's a producer I like who does YouTube videos with like random people. (6:18) There was a rap.(6:18) He's a producer and he, he works with rappers. (6:21) He, I saw something on his story and it said, Hey, I have this beat. (6:25) If you want it, you want a shot DM me, me, and I'll give you the beat.(6:29) And I saw it. (6:30) And I said, I DM me and he auto sent, it was like an auto send thing. (6:34) And I had this moment where I was like, I'm not going to fucking do this.(6:37) I'm not going to fucking, there's no chance this, anything comes of this. (6:40) I'm not going to do this. (6:41) Well, who the fuck do I think I am?(6:44) He, he has a hundred and something thousand followers. (6:46) How many of those people are legit rappers who do this every day? (6:50) I write like a minute and a half song once a month.(6:54) And I think I'm going to be one of the people he picks. (6:56) How fucking delusional am I? (6:57) I recorded it and I sent it.(6:59) We'll see what happens. (7:01) But I didn't want to, I didn't want to send it. (7:03) I had so much imposter syndrome.(7:06) And then it was like, okay, what is go back to the energy thing? (7:10) What's the energy? (7:11) No, no, don't be sorry.(7:12) This is great. (7:13) I want you to be authentic. (7:14) I'm just trying to make sure I'm also trying to learn too.(7:17) But what the energy that I give versus you, I get a lot of pushback. (7:24) Like when we remember when we met the person who was like something about the naysayers. (7:29) Uh, yeah.(7:29) Screw the naysayers. (7:30) Screw the naysayers. (7:31) That was the name of the podcast.(7:32) No longer a podcast. (7:33) I don't think, but I went on it. (7:35) I remember.(7:36) And I loved that because I feel like I've dealt with naysayers my entire life, but I never came out and said, Hey, I don't really believe in myself. (7:45) This is a good analogy. (7:47) You know why people go to sporting events and they swear at the athletes and they throw shit at them because they know the athlete can't do anything.(7:55) They can't, they can't do anything. (7:57) They're safe. (7:58) Now Ron, our test might come up into the crowd and beat your ass in front of people, but I'm, I'm willing to bet people started looking at things.(8:04) So for those who don't know, somebody yelled something to a basketball player and then he proceeded to punch the guy in the face. (8:12) And there was a brawl, it's called the malice at the palace. (8:15) It was a whole freaking thing.(8:17) That's one of the reasons why. (8:18) So I think people know if they say stuff to you, you're just used to it and it's just going to roll off and you're not even going to address it. (8:26) That's been changing.(8:28) I'm willing to bet you'll get less shit. (8:29) An old listener that I called out recently and he said, listen, I'm sorry. (8:33) I made, and I was like, we're good now.(8:36) I saw that message. (8:38) Yeah. (8:38) I did see the message.(8:39) I saw the comment. (8:41) Why don't you put some more weight on there? (8:42) It's like, brother, keep it to yourself.(8:45) Next time you have a thought, keep it to yourself.

Alan Lazaros

(8:47) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:47) Um, I said something, I, I, what I actually said was very mature person. (8:52) Next time you want to say something like that, just keep it to yourself. (8:55) And he said, I'm sorry.(8:56) I meant nothing by it. (8:57) We're good now. (8:58) But yeah, maybe on some level people could tell I wouldn't swing back because it's not worth it.(9:04) That's the old saying I used to tell myself. (9:07) Well, it's virtuous and that's what everybody tells you. (9:09) I don't want to stoop to someone else's level.(9:11) I don't want to attack eye for an eye. (9:13) We all go blind. (9:14) That was my old.(9:14) Now it's like, listen, if you don't defend yourself, people will sense it and they'll just, you'll just keep getting attacked forever.

Alan Lazaros

(9:20) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:21) It's an eye for an eye. (9:22) We all go, but it's like, but that stops eventually.

Alan Lazaros

(9:24) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:24) Not to mention. (9:26) It's not like you're the one doing it first. (9:28) There's a big difference between punching someone back versus going out and punching people.(9:31) Right. (9:31) Well, anyway, it's back to throws a rock through your window. (9:34) It's like, what are you going to just be like, ah, they must be having a bad day.(9:37) Well, you can't do that. (9:38) If you live across the street from me, I might throw something towards your house too.

Alan Lazaros

(9:43) I'm not saying I'll see you.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:44) I'll see you at your front door. (9:46) Yeah. (9:46) Okay.(9:47) But, but when he got to you and we got six minutes on the clock here, all good. (9:52) Didn't believe in yourself. (9:53) Naive.(9:54) Okay. (9:54) So, so have the self, uh, the naivete to dream big and then get started. (10:02) Yep.(10:02) Yep. (10:02) Okay. (10:03) And then from there, too.(10:06) Every time you get an opportunity that you wished you had before you got it, you have to say yes. (10:13) Even though you want to say no. (10:14) Okay, nice.(10:15) That's good. (10:16) Okay. (10:17) Again, not going to land for me personally.(10:21) No, but I have someone who doesn't, someone who struggles (10:25) with self-belief when you get an opportunity that you wanted before you got it, you have to say yes, (10:33) even though you kind of don't want to do it because it's like you, it's like you want it (10:37) when you're, when things are flowing and there's momentum and you're feeling good and you got (10:41) all the good vibes and then just one random day you get the opportunity and you're like, (10:47) but you're back in your home state, not flying high.(10:52) You're back in your home state. (10:54) I'll never, I, I get a message one day from Anthony trucks who said, Hey man, I'd love to have you on the podcast. (10:58) It's like, I don't know why I don't want to fucking do this.(11:01) Really? (11:03) I remember I went on a show with a gentleman who has since passed Sam and it was all about, I don't do it. (11:10) It was all about success.(11:11) I was not successful. (11:12) Dude had a Ferrari in his background. (11:15) Like I'm, how the hell did I get here?(11:16) I don't want to do this. (11:17) There's no way I want to do this. (11:20) I think if, if you take nothing from this episode other than one piece of advice, quote unquote, or reflection, we'll say every time I wanted something from a high state, like feeling really good about myself, maybe even arrogance.(11:39) And eventually I got the opportunity when I was not at that high state anymore. (11:43) I always try to say yes. (11:45) Best example, Evan Carmichael asks me to come be part of his mastermind.(11:51) And I did not want to do it. (11:53) The reason I did it is because I knew I had to, I didn't want to do it. (11:56) There was zero part of me that wanted to go to Toronto and be the keynote.(11:59) And I didn't want to do that. (12:00) I was fucking terrified. (12:01) And the reason you didn't want to do it is because I didn't think I was ready.(12:04) It's uncomfortable. (12:05) Yeah. (12:05) I didn't think I was ready.(12:07) I think people have constantly over-assessed what I'm capable of and they don't know what I think. (12:15) You being one of them. (12:16) Yeah.(12:17) That's why I'm smiling. (12:18) Yeah. (12:19) Um, like it's easy for you to say what you think I can do.(12:23) You don't think what I think about me, which is great. (12:26) That's a great thing in a coach. (12:27) Someone's more accurate.(12:28) Me. (12:30) Yeah. (12:31) In ways because I did get here, right?(12:33) So yeah, exactly. (12:34) Well, one of them's seeing your potential in the future. (12:38) The other person is seeing your capabilities now, which is so, um, okay.(12:43) I also see my history. (12:45) You don't see my history as much as I do. (12:46) Yeah.(12:47) You can extrapolate, but all right. (12:49) So group coaching in three minutes, we got a crank last question. (12:52) We'll do a part two.(12:53) I think we should do a part two. (12:54) Yeah. (12:55) So nine years ago, you're talking to Kev struggle struggles with self-belief, doesn't like his job, doesn't like his life contemplating suicidal ideation.(13:05) Uh, doesn't really get the personal development thing yet. (13:09) Doesn't understand the personal growth thing yet. (13:11) Hasn't done a ton of personal development up to that point other than fitness and bodybuilding.

Alan Lazaros

(13:14) Fair.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:15) Yeah. (13:16) Um, doesn't have the self-belief step one, set a big vision, be delusional enough to believe it, even though it's going to change. (13:25) I would even do big out set of vision.(13:27) Don't, it doesn't have to be big. (13:28) Mine was not big in the beginning. (13:30) I mean, 2 million was pretty big.(13:33) Uh, $2 million net worth though. (13:34) I mean, that's not that big. (13:35) It's not that big.(13:36) Yeah. (13:37) Okay. (13:37) Fair.(13:37) Fair. (13:38) Big. (13:38) But was that, that was huge for you at the time though.(13:41) I was making a hundred grand a year. (13:42) $2 million net worth. (13:43) It's not that far off if you fucking invest some money.(13:46) You know that now, but back then that was huge to you, right? (13:51) I not, it wasn't massive. (13:53) It was, it was a good stretch, but it wasn't like I could never do that.(13:57) Do you think that for most people that would be like think depends. (14:01) Okay. (14:01) I think the problem with goal setting is people say like, all right, if you were, if you were at a three, what was that vision?(14:08) If I was at a three confidence. (14:10) Yeah. (14:11) What was that vision?(14:12) 2 million. (14:12) Where was that? (14:13) Seven, seven, seven.(14:14) What would be a 10? (14:16) 20 million. (14:17) Okay.(14:18) Nice. (14:18) All right. (14:19) So set up level seven vision.(14:21) No. (14:22) Okay. (14:22) Step three.(14:26) When you get the opportunities, whatever they feel like, regardless of the size that you've been chasing.

Alan Lazaros

(14:32) Sorry.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:33) That was number two. (14:34) Okay. (14:34) When you, when you get the opportunity, you have to do it.(14:36) Yeah. (14:37) Step three, rinse and repeat. (14:39) That cycle never stops.(14:41) The one thing that you didn't say that I, that I would say is like, you got around better people. (14:45) I know, but I didn't want to say that because that's what I always say. (14:48) And I'll be like, well, because you, you and I worked together.

Alan Lazaros

(14:51) No, no, no.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:51) I don't want that. (14:52) That's not what I know. (14:52) But like, it wasn't just me, Matt.(14:55) You got around people with bigger dreams. (14:57) But very honestly, very honestly, a lot of those people fucking just misguided me. (15:02) Really?(15:03) There's a reason I didn't like a lot of the masterminds we were in. (15:06) Cause I, it's like, look, we are not the same. (15:09) We are not the same.(15:10) We're not doing this for the same reason. (15:11) Who didn't misguide you? (15:12) You.(15:13) But I did at times. (15:14) Well, yeah, for sure. (15:15) Okay.(15:15) But the majority was yes. (15:17) Less than more. (15:18) Yes.(15:18) Okay. (15:18) Yes. (15:19) All right.(15:19) Who else? (15:24) I'm sure there's people. (15:25) It's just like, I don't, Evan's been great.(15:28) Okay. (15:28) Nice. (15:29) Evan's been a great, what is the difference between me and Evan as mentors to you and all the other ones that did kind of misguide you?(15:36) I think the attitude of test it out and see what happens and then just do better. (15:47) Fail forward, fail forward. (15:49) Everybody else.(15:49) Like when you're a guru, you can't have the wrong fucking answers. (15:52) You have to know the answer to everything. (15:54) Yeah.(15:54) And there is no answer to everything. (15:56) The answer to everything is like adventure. (15:58) Curiosity.(15:58) Yeah, exactly. (15:58) And like eventually maybe it'll happen. (16:00) Love it.(16:01) We'll do a part two. (16:01) I know we got to jump. (16:02) We'll do a part two.(16:03) All right. (16:03) Next level fitness accountability group. (16:05) Reach out to us.(16:05) Alan's coaching again, nine years, Alan's coaching. (16:08) This is a result of that. (16:09) I don't want to say that in the episode because there won't be any value because it's hard to replicate that, but reach out to Alan.(16:14) If you're looking for coaching, as always, we love you. (16:15) We appreciate you. (16:16) Grateful for each and every one of you.(16:17) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there. (16:22) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (16:25) Next level nation.(16:27) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (16:31) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (16:33) We mean it when we say family.(16:35) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (16:39) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes. (16:42) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.