The Top 3 Mindsets That GUARANTEE You Won't Be Successful (2356)

Your philosophy predicts your results. In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan unpack the thinking patterns that quietly keep people stuck, even when they are putting in real effort. Progress is not usually blocked by laziness. It is blocked by beliefs that shape how you interpret setbacks, time horizons, and responsibility. When those beliefs go unexamined, motivation alone is not enough to create change.

This episode brings a sharper lens to personal growth, discipline, and long-term success without pretending the path is easy. If you want better outcomes, it starts with better thinking and more honest self-awareness.

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Track the Work. Earn the Results. To know more about the "Next Level Fitness Accountability Group," reach out.

• Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
• Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Email:
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LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:03) Passive meaning without action
(7:20) Wanting results before value
(10:07) Arrogance entitlement, and identity traps
(15:27) Short-term versus long-term
(17:34) Commitment flexibility and infinite growth
(18:10) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I cannot guarantee under any circumstance that you are going to be successful, but I can pretty much guarantee that if you have any of these three mindsets we're going to talk about today, you probably can't be successful.

Alan Lazaros

(0:11) There is a formula for success. (0:12) There's also a formula that guarantees failure, and it starts with what you believe in your philosophy.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:19) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:22) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:23) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:26) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:33) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:40) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:55) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:02) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:07) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2356, the top three mindsets that guarantee you won't be successful. (1:16) So Alan and I have not discussed this. (1:19) So we're going to, amongst, between, amongst is more than two I think, between the two of us, we are going to try to come up with the three that we think are the most accurate.(1:28) I have one off the top of my head. (1:30) The most detrimental, right? (1:31) The most detrimental, yeah, but accurate based on, you'll get jeffed if you have it.(1:36) Do you have a one that jumps to the top of your head? (1:39) Do I have a one? (1:39) Do you have a one that jumps to the top of your head?

Alan Lazaros

(1:41) Just want to set the stage real quick. (1:43) So this is me trying to come up with, in real time, 6,884 coaching sessions with people all over the world, all different backgrounds, all different industries, all different people, all different cultures, ethnicities, you name it, different levels of self-belief, self-awareness, boom. (1:58) So that's to set the stage.(2:03) This is the question, correct me if I'm wrong Kev, is, at least the question I'm going to ask myself, you tell me what yours is. (2:11) What are the three mindsets that I've noticed that virtually guarantee you're not going to be successful? (2:18) Sure.(2:19) Okay, and that's the frame for you too? (2:24) Noticed and or extrapolated. (2:27) Okay, I have one.(2:28) It's not going to be popular.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:30) What do you got?

Alan Lazaros

(2:34) Oh.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:38) He doesn't even want to say it.

Alan Lazaros

(2:40) I don't. (2:42) You're going to whisper it to me and I'll say it? (2:44) No.(2:45) Okay, bear with me on this. (2:48) Let me explain. (2:49) Let me unpack it.(2:50) Everything happens for a reason. (2:54) Okay, I hear this shit all the time and I understand what you're trying to say. (3:01) Some people really are saying that blanket statement, but they don't mean it the way that it sounds.(3:07) But I have noticed a correlation between people who say that and people who don't change their behavior. (3:14) So if you assume everything... (3:16) Okay, so was I meant to get in a car accident?(3:18) I don't believe so. (3:20) I believe that that happened, it was a happening, and there's certain reasons why that happened, cause and effect. (3:26) I understand that.(3:27) Okay. (3:28) And what I took from that car accident, there's a lot of people who could have gotten a car accident at 26 and then done nothing differently. (3:34) Of course.(3:34) As a matter of fact, if I was just like, oh, the car accident happened for a reason and I just overly validated and affirmed that, I might not have made all the changes. (3:42) I didn't say, oh, this happened for a reason. (3:44) What I said is, okay, this happened.(3:47) My dad died in a car. (3:50) This is my second chance he never got, and I'm not going to waste it. (3:53) So I need to make sure that I make this matter.(3:57) So one person says everything happens for a reason and doesn't change anything. (4:00) The other person says, I'm going to make this fucking matter because this was deeply painful.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:07) I am in 100% agreement. (4:09) Yeah, I am 100%. (4:10) I just, I think one of them builds, it brings certainty.(4:14) It's like everything happens for a reason. (4:15) Now I know that this was a reason. (4:17) It's like, well, the reason is often what you make it.(4:19) I think it's always what you make it, but.

Alan Lazaros

(4:21) And when you fail and you just write it off behind everything happens for a reason, instead of assessing what led to that, like if I missed the game winning shot, yeah, everything happens for a reason. (4:32) I didn't practice well and I didn't pass the ball when I should have and I suck at basketball. (4:37) Like you need to have that admittance factor.(4:39) I don't actually suck at basketball, it's a hypothetical. (4:41) But when you say everything happens for a reason and that's the end, you don't find the, identify the problem and then present a new solution. (4:50) You don't grow.(4:51) It basically, it overly allows you to just kind of stay the same and keep rolling with the punches. (4:58) Two types of people. (4:59) One person fails and then learns what happened and then improves the process and changes their behavior.(5:04) The other person just fails over and over and over again and repeats the same patterns without ever changing. (5:10) And that's the fixed mindset growth mindset thing. (5:12) Well, it makes you feel good.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:13) I feel like you're, you feel like it's supposed to be that way. (5:16) It just justifies, we were supposed to have somebody on the podcast one time and then we looked at their social media and one of their things was, if you, what was it?

Alan Lazaros

(5:26) If it's meant for you, you can never screw it up. (5:28) You can never screw it up. (5:29) It's the dumbest shit I've heard myself.(5:30) Can you imagine for a second, if I was like, dude, Emilia and I are meant to be together. (5:35) I couldn't screw this up if I fucking tried. (5:37) Dude.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:38) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(5:39) That would guarantee that I screw it up. (5:41) 100%. (5:41) That's called arrogance.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:43) Exactly what has been said so many times before some drunk person did a cartwheel and broke their leg. (5:49) They're like, I couldn't screw it. (5:49) I can do this for sure.(5:50) I couldn't possibly screw this up. (5:52) 100%. (5:53) Some of the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life.(5:54) If you ever said that, I'd be like, dude, you're going to end up divorced. (5:58) This person's very, very spiritual and they're guru-ish in their influence. (6:04) And I, yeah, I can't.

Alan Lazaros

(6:07) Can you imagine if you heard Kev say, well, Tyrone and I are meant for each other. (6:10) So I couldn't fucking screw this up. (6:12) It would be like, dude, that's so arrogant.(6:14) That almost guarantees you screwed up. (6:16) That's entitled.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:17) Yeah, it's entitled in arrogance. (6:18) But it's the same concept of I lost that person. (6:20) It wasn't meant to be.(6:21) If she was meant for me, I couldn't have possibly screwed it up. (6:24) It's like, same thing.

Alan Lazaros

(6:25) Versus what you did in the past was, oh, yeah, I was kind of anxious and yeah, I wasn't really showing up.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:32) And it took me a long time though to realize that I was...

Alan Lazaros

(6:36) What was your story to yourself? (6:37) She's crazy.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:38) She's crazy. (6:39) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(6:40) And then eventually it was, what's the truth in hindsight?

Kevin Palmieri

(6:42) I am at least 50% at fault in all of these relationships.

Alan Lazaros

(6:47) And in hindsight, you didn't have a growth mindset. (6:49) Well, that is, yeah. (6:49) You had a fixed mindset and she wanted to grow and chase her dreams.(6:52) And you held her back from that because you were so scarce. (6:54) Yeah, yeah. (6:55) And why does that matter?(6:57) That all sounds horrible. (6:59) No, no, no. (6:59) But now he can work on it.(7:01) Well, we go back to the last episode. (7:02) I mean, we've been talking about that, right? (7:04) Now he can work on it.(7:05) If you don't, you're not going to work on something proactively that you don't admit is a problem. (7:09) Like imagine if I was like, I'm best at relationships. (7:13) Why would I take a relationship seminar if I think I'm the man, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(7:18) All right, so that's one. (7:20) Here's, this is my, this is the second one for me. (7:23) You're not willing to give anything unless you get something first.(7:28) And I mean that more in like a, you have to see the result before you start the process. (7:34) You have to see the money before you add the value, whatever. (7:37) I just think that's a very broken mindset.(7:39) That also is entitlement.

Alan Lazaros

(7:41) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:42) You're not entitled to anything. (7:43) Nothing. (7:44) You're entitled to nothing when it comes to success, right?(7:47) So it's, it's based on how much you give and how much value you add and how much you help other people. (7:54) And I've never, I don't know. (7:56) I don't really under, I guess I won't say I don't understand that cause I'm sure I probably had that in the beginning to a degree.

Alan Lazaros

(8:01) In baseball, was there ever players that thought they were awesome when they weren't and they got cut? (8:07) No, it was usually the opposite.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:08) It was usually the coaches' sons who were terrible but got playing time. (8:12) Seriously. (8:13) And nobody liked them.(8:15) It's called nepotism.

Alan Lazaros

(8:16) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:16) That happens a lot in the world. (8:18) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(8:18) But I was coaching, no, I went on a podcast with a guy who was double A. (8:24) I don't know the, I don't really fully understand. (8:26) I kind of do, but he was semi-pro, I guess is what you'd call this.(8:32) Okay. (8:32) Okay. (8:35) And he said, I had the moment.(8:36) It's like, I'm not good enough to do this. (8:39) Oh, I coach another baseball player. (8:41) Shout out to you, brother.(8:41) I know you're listening. (8:43) 23 years old, played D2, was really good back in the day. (8:49) So middle school, best.(8:51) High school, best. (8:52) College, top 25%. (8:56) Major leagues, not going to happen.(8:59) And I said, when did you know? (9:01) But my point is the entitlement thing. (9:03) When you get entitled in a sport like that, your spot is going to be taken immediately.(9:09) Because in the major leagues, if you aren't producing, I've coached at this point, three baseball players who all were in the minor leagues, almost major league baseball. (9:18) Three people at this point. (9:20) Like pretty deeply as well.(9:21) Dude, they cut you quick, huh?

Kevin Palmieri

(9:23) Yeah. (9:24) Honestly though, I think most high-level athletes are entitled. (9:28) Maybe not most, many.(9:29) You ever, I look for this all the time. (9:31) I'll be watching. (9:31) Aren't they like really good?(9:33) Yeah, they're really good, but this is what'll happen. (9:35) They'll run out of bounds and they'll just hammer into a cheerleader. (9:39) Fucking knock them 10 feet over.(9:41) Not on purpose, but like they're going to catch a pass or whatever. (9:45) I'm always surprised at how rarely it is that they either help them up or stop to care. (9:50) Like sometimes they just run, it's like, I don't know.(9:54) I think going back to what we talked about, like eventually you get to the point where everybody's telling you you're amazing, that you forget that you're just like a regular person. (10:01) You're just like a person. (10:03) You're not, I know you're really good at your sport, but like outside of that, you're not.

Alan Lazaros

(10:07) Well, this is hubris. (10:08) That's it. (10:09) Arrogance, hubris.(10:10) Dude, the downfall of every leader is arrogance. (10:14) Every movie, like what starts as self-confidence and building yourself up eventually becomes I'm destined for this. (10:22) And it's like, you always see it happening too.(10:26) It's like, oh, you're losing it. (10:28) You're losing it. (10:29) This is the beginning of the end.(10:31) You think you're the fucking man now. (10:34) Ah, that's, you can't.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:37) I can't stand that with athletes. (10:39) I can't stand it. (10:40) Dude, the truth is that always gets them.(10:44) I think it always gets you eventually. (10:47) It must be hard when everybody thinks you're the best in the world at something to, I don't know. (10:53) I'm not saying it wouldn't happen to me.

Alan Lazaros

(10:55) There's so many artists and actresses and actors and athletes that they were so good in their prime and now they still have that same identity. (11:03) It's like you at the circus, like, oh, I'm gonna hammer this baseball. (11:06) First of all, it wasn't a circus.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:07) It was a fair thing. (11:08) Whatever, man. (11:09) You know, a circus, people are going to think I'm swinging from the trapeze.

Alan Lazaros

(11:12) Oh, okay. (11:12) Fair. (11:13) Yeah.(11:13) I don't do fair circus, fair, whatever. (11:16) You know what I'm saying?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:16) I do think that, I do think that's like, do you even know who I am? (11:20) Like, well, you, yeah, you were on a, you were on Dawson's Creek 26 years ago. (11:23) Like, I know, I don't know who you are.(11:24) I don't, I'm sorry. (11:25) I don't, you're a regular person who was once famous. (11:29) That does not make you special.(11:30) I'm sorry. (11:31) Yeah. (11:32) But I also am weird with that stuff too.(11:34) Where like, I don't, congrats on being a movie star. (11:36) Whatever. (11:37) You're good at acting.(11:38) That's awesome. (11:39) That's awesome. (11:40) But outside of that, you should still be a good person.(11:42) You don't get to be a dickhead because you're really good looking and a good actor. (11:47) Like that's not, in what world is that okay? (11:49) Yeah, a hundred percent.(11:50) You know, you sell a lot of tickets.

Alan Lazaros

(11:52) Like, hell yeah, go you. (11:53) Okay. (11:54) So entitlement, what was your, yours was when you?(11:57) I would say it's entitlement to a degree. (11:59) Yeah. (12:00) You want to get before you give.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:01) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(12:02) Yeah. (12:03) Okay. (12:04) So, so far we have everything happens for a reason and you do nothing about it because of that.(12:07) Again, I need to add that second part. (12:09) And the second one is you want to get before you give. (12:17) Nice.(12:18) Broken formula. (12:19) I used to say there's no such thing as something for nothing. (12:22) I always say if you want huge rewards for minimal effort, you're never going to work for me.(12:26) Or with. (12:27) Or with me. (12:28) Yeah, exactly.(12:29) All right. (12:29) We have, we have five minutes.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:32) More time than you thought, huh? (12:33) I thought the dude was going to be here by now. (12:35) He said 20 minutes, 54 minutes ago.

Alan Lazaros

(12:38) True or false. (12:39) Kev loves it with time. (12:41) You've been dealing with that for years.(12:42) I'm kidding.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:43) All right. (12:43) So you haven't gotten in flow at all because of this. (12:46) No, there's a, if you didn't listen to last episode, we have somebody come into the house today and they are, they were supposed to be here an hour and 54 minutes ago.

Alan Lazaros

(12:53) So I just want to say this to all our listeners, quick public service announcement. (12:58) I'm kidding. (13:00) If you don't listen every day, I want to recommend that because we take you on a journey with us.(13:05) I said this on a podcast earlier. (13:06) It's awesome show. (13:08) She said, she's going to start listening to NLU.(13:10) By the way, if you have, you know who you are. (13:12) I was like, nice. (13:14) But I said, we aren't talking from some mountaintop.(13:18) We are climbing our mountain and it's a meaningful mountain that gets higher as we climb it. (13:26) And yeah, maybe we're at a different level than you, but we're not like done. (13:31) We're not done climbing and we're not going to ever act like we're done climbing.(13:37) And we're not going to talk like entitled, like we've arrived. (13:43) There is no arriving. (13:45) Next level university, next level.(13:47) You like the next level. (13:49) I don't care how great you are. (13:51) There's a next level, right?(13:52) You're not going to be done with growth. (13:56) You're not gonna be done with success. (13:57) You're not gonna be done with adding value and contributing.(14:00) And so anyways, I just wanted to share that. (14:01) I do think if you don't listen every day, it would benefit you more if you did, even though it might be annoying at times. (14:08) I'm sure it's annoying often, but it's, you know, it's going to be there.(14:11) It's a great habit. (14:12) Yeah. (14:12) And you'll understand the nuances of some of the inside jokes and that kind of stuff.(14:17) Cause we have a team member, Amy, shout out to you. (14:20) We, uh, she's the MC of our events. (14:22) She's also a speaker at the next one.(14:23) Next level live March, April, April. (14:27) But one time we were in an Airbnb. (14:30) I'm gonna need you to hear the last point.(14:31) We have three minutes and you have a hard stop. (14:33) We got this. (14:34) We got this.(14:34) We were at an Airbnb and I heard myself. (14:38) She was getting ready. (14:40) And she was in the same Airbnb as us still listening to us.(14:44) She's like, I, I can't start my day without NLU. (14:47) I was like, that's awesome.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:48) Really awesome.

Alan Lazaros

(14:48) Okay. (14:49) Anyways, back to the episode last one.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:51) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(14:52) So you have one. (14:52) I have one. (14:53) Is this one we have to agree on?(14:55) I think we should try. (14:56) I think we should try. (14:58) Okay.(14:59) Let's do this. (15:00) Three minutes, 18 seconds. (15:05) What's one that you and I can come up with live just by looking at each other where we know it's the one.(15:11) We've been doing this for nine years. (15:12) Oh, I already have it in my head. (15:15) All right.(15:15) Well, I don't. (15:16) So let me get on the same wavelength here. (15:17) Yeah.(15:18) Make sure we're writing the same book, same page, same chapter. (15:23) I feel like it's the most obvious.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:27) I'll say that.

Alan Lazaros

(15:28) Mindset that virtually guarantees failure.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:31) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(15:34) The one that you're like so used to. (15:39) Oh, okay. (15:40) So it has to do with you're just going to fail repeatedly forever.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:44) Mine was short game versus long game.

Alan Lazaros

(15:47) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:47) If the mindset is like, I'll give this a shot for a month. (15:50) Yep.

Alan Lazaros

(15:51) Yep. (15:51) Versus committing and making it happen. (15:53) You just can't.(15:53) It's so hard to fucking. (15:55) This is hard to explain though. (15:56) So brief, but you have to commit on the macro, but the approach you can't.(16:02) Yeah. (16:02) I tried to explain this in a few episodes ago. (16:05) The vehicle and the long-term vision has to be committed to.(16:11) But the way you get there and the novelty and the approach and the strategy needs to be able to shift. (16:16) I'll give this example. (16:17) One of my clients is a CBT therapist and she, the top of her mountain is to be the most positively impactful CBT therapist.(16:24) Okay. (16:25) That's the top of the mountain. (16:26) You never get there.(16:27) Infinite game. (16:28) But her approach, her strategy, her clients, her clientele, insurance, not insurance, all that can change. (16:36) The true North, the North star doesn't move.(16:39) She's committed to that. (16:40) But the approach and the vehicle and the, well, the vehicle doesn't change either because CBT therapy, but that's hard to explain. (16:47) But I would say long-term strategic thinking with commitment to a long-term vision while being ridiculously flexible with the approach within alignment of your core values.(16:58) It's kind of a whole thing.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:59) It is a whole thing, but it's the simplest form is if you're only in it for a month, it's never going to work. (17:07) Yeah. (17:07) Agreed that almost nothing will.(17:10) Nothing. (17:10) Imagine if you start a relationship and you're like, well, if it's not perfect in a month, it really, if anything, relationships are Jeffed because the beginning is always really easy. (17:18) So that's getting better.(17:20) It's the opposite of almost, that's why I think the divorce rate is so high because in the beginning it's super easy and it gets harder as you go and you don't get better as you go necessarily.

Alan Lazaros

(17:31) Nice. (17:32) That's my thought. (17:33) To be continued on that.(17:33) Awesome.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:34) All right. (17:35) Strong work. (17:36) We did it.(17:36) We freaking did it. (17:38) Next level fitness accountability group. (17:40) If you're trying to get jacked, whatever jack means to you, you don't have to be a bodybuilder.(17:42) You don't have to be a CrossFit. (17:43) You can be whatever you want. (17:44) You can be more next level in the fitness arena.(17:46) Reach out to Alan and or myself.

Alan Lazaros

(17:51) Also, we talk a lot about mentors, coaches. (17:53) At the end of the day, I'll be in your corner, making sure you never in coast mode and keep you accountable to your goals and dreams. (18:00) I always say, stay subservient to your goals, not to other people.(18:03) I'm not going to be a dictator, but your goals are going to dictate what you do and don't I'm going to help you with that.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:09) As always, we love you. (18:10) We appreciate you. (18:11) Grateful for each and every one of you.(18:12) And if you are as committed as you say you are, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get to your goals.

Alan Lazaros

(18:19) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (18:22) Next level niche.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:24) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (18:27) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(18:30) We mean it when we say family. (18:32) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (18:35) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(18:39) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.