THIS Limits How Successful You Can Be (2362)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros question the belief that success requires certainty. Many people wait for perfect clarity before they act. That mindset quietly caps growth. The next level demands something different. It requires the ability to move forward when the outcome is unclear and the pressure is real. As your tolerance for uncertainty grows, so does your capacity for leadership, progress, and long-term success.

If you want to strengthen your mindset and build the resilience required to pursue bigger goals, this episode will shift how you think about discomfort and the unknown. Hit play and start developing the capacity most people never build.

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Show notes:
(2:51) Locus of control and personal responsibility
(7:00) Emotional regulation and leadership capacity
(11:24) Exposure therapy and building resilience
(16:22) Expanding your capacity for uncertainty
(21:04) Fail forward and long-term persistence
(27:18) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If you have ever met somebody who has to know everything about every situation, it has to be perfect, it has to be measured, they have to have step-by-step-by-step-by-step certainty, I am willing to bet you would not bet on them being successful.

Alan Lazaros

(0:15) How much uncertainty can you handle? (0:18) The road to success, the road to the next level, is going to require it.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:22) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:25) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:27) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:30) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:37) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:43) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:59) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:05) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:11) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,362. (1:15) This limits how successful you can be.(1:17) I will never forget. (1:19) We were in California. (1:23) I believe it was San Diego, California.(1:25) Nice. (1:26) And we went out there for a Brendon Burchard event. (1:28) And while we were out there, we were going to interview a bunch of people.(1:32) And I will never forget how stressful that week was. (1:36) Because it was a four hour, a three or four hour drive from wherever we were to where we needed to be. (1:42) And then it was like another two hours to get here at a certain time.(1:45) It was absolutely disastrous. (1:48) It was fucking mayhem. (1:50) And I was extremely uncertain of all the things we were doing and how we were going to be able to do it and if we were going to make it on time.(1:56) Luckily, my response to uncertainty is research and planning. (2:03) So when I am very uncertain, I research and I plan. (2:07) When I'm going to a new building, when I'm going to a new place, I Google Earth that bad, Larry.(2:12) I know what it looks like. (2:14) I know what the parking situation's like. (2:16) I know what the dress code is like.(2:19) Because I want to make sure I don't show up and am unsuccessful at the mission. (2:25) So that's what we're talking about today. (2:27) If you know somebody, I'm not going to talk to you.(2:29) If you know somebody who the slightest inconvenience or the slightest uncertainty throws their day off completely, I think that's probably a capacity issue. (2:41) We've talked about that a lot. (2:42) But it's going to be really hard to be successful because isn't all of the next level just uncertainty?(2:47) Isn't that how it kind of works?

Alan Lazaros

(2:51) All right, so that was a question, by the way. (2:57) Isn't this how it works? (2:59) Yeah, it was a question.(3:00) That is how it works. (3:00) Ah, cool. (3:01) Thank you.(3:02) You're welcome. (3:03) You're welcome. (3:06) Okay, I'm trying to think of where to go with this.(3:09) Locus of control states that you have certain things you can control, which I have broken down. (3:15) I've broken all this down in my coaching. (3:17) You have control over what you say and what you do.(3:21) Everyone knows that. (3:23) Everybody's gotten that far. (3:24) You also have control, and this is where I get a little pushback.(3:27) You also have control over what you think, what you feel. (3:31) Are you good?

Kevin Palmieri

(3:32) I have a hair. (3:34) A little uncertainty with your hair? (3:36) Yeah, but everything's opposite in my camera, so there we go.(3:39) There you go. (3:39) Thanks. (3:40) Appreciate it.

Alan Lazaros

(3:41) So everyone, Kevin's hair is good now, so we're good. (3:44) All right, now we can proceed with this.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:45) You don't have to be uncertain about that. (3:47) We're good.

Alan Lazaros

(3:48) So the locus of control, here's what you have control over. (3:50) What you say, think, do, feel, and believe. (3:52) Let's go through that.(3:53) Say and do, people are with me. (3:54) Yep, I have control over what I say and do. (3:57) Okay, unless you have a gun to your head and someone's forcing you to do something, it's pretty much your choice for the most part.(4:03) Cool? (4:04) Where I get some pushback is the think, the feel, and the believe. (4:08) You do also have control over what you think, feel, and believe.(4:12) Push back on that if you disagree. (4:16) Oh boy. (4:17) I have a point.(4:18) I'll make it land.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:19) I think you can regain control, but I think many of that is like, what you believe is heavily influenced on what the people around you believe. (4:30) You can choose to start believing something different. (4:32) That I agree with.

Alan Lazaros

(4:33) Do you believe you can control what you think, feel, and believe? (4:37) And if not, why not?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:40) Yes, in time. (4:41) But I do think there is a moment where that feels, not impossible, but...

Alan Lazaros

(4:47) Yeah, it is a duality of you can and you can't. (4:49) Like, can I control every subconscious thought?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:52) Definitely not. (4:53) No, yeah. (4:54) That's why it's like, no.(4:55) I think the answer to that is all no, and it's probably more than you think. (5:00) But here's the problem.

Alan Lazaros

(5:02) If you don't believe that you can control what you think and feel, you're not going to take control, which is a skill. (5:15) There's a book called How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett. (5:21) It's one of her favorite books.(5:23) I asked her the question, what is the most valuable book you've ever read? (5:26) She answered that. (5:27) I decided to do it in book club before reading it, which is a huge mistake.(5:30) It is a very, very, very intense book. (5:33) I think it's super valuable, but it's definitely a hard read. (5:37) In that book, she breaks down how you can control what you feel.(5:42) You can construct. (5:45) The constructive theory of emotion is what it's called. (5:47) You can construct your emotions.(5:48) So if I want to feel good, I think about Tucker, my little dog. (5:53) It makes me feel good. (5:56) As a matter of fact, before Emilia and I, a little side tangent behind the scenes, before Emilia and I hit record for the Conscious Couples podcast, we always say, think of Tucker because it puts us in a good energy.(6:06) That's because he's cute and we love him. (6:09) I can technically control your thoughts. (6:14) There's something called CBT therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, where your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are linked in a triangle.(6:22) So anyways, assuming you agree that you can take back control of what you say, think, do, feel, and believe, let me bring it back to uncertainty. (6:30) There are a lot of things in the world that you can't control. (6:33) A meteor striking the earth right now.(6:35) I cannot control what you think of me. (6:41) I can influence. (6:43) I can say something disrespectful, make you think worse of me.(6:47) Right? (6:48) There's influence. (6:49) So there's what you can control, there's what you can influence, and there's what you can't control or influence.(6:57) And you and I have done this before. (6:58) We've talked about this in the past. (7:00) I find it very difficult to believe in people who cannot control their locus of control.(7:08) So if I see a client have something not go their way, and they kind of throw a hissy fit like a toddler, I'm going to not believe in them as much. (7:19) Because there's a reason toddlers throw hissy fits. (7:23) They are toddlers and they're not in control of much.(7:26) They don't know much. (7:26) They don't have much skills. (7:28) They don't know how to talk to people.(7:30) They don't know how to get their results. (7:32) They cry to get what they want. (7:34) That's a strategy that babies use.(7:36) I have a client, a couple that we coach that has a three-month-old. (7:40) And when the three-month-old wants a result, they cry. (7:43) It works.(7:44) It also works for adults apparently as well. (7:47) But at the end of the day, I'm not trying to be mean. (7:48) I just...(7:50) When do you grow up? (7:52) And when do you realize that, okay, the next level. (7:57) So one of the reasons I share this is because it's a good example.(8:00) In the beginning, nine years ago, it was just you and I. (8:04) Now it's 126 paying clients, 86 podcasts, you know, website clients, guest clients, social media clients. (8:12) I have 28 business owners I coach, plus a 23-person team.(8:16) It's way harder to keep my cool when there's so many moving parts. (8:22) So my life is way harder now than it was when I was seven. (8:25) Way harder than when I was 17.(8:27) Way harder than when I was 27. (8:29) Back in the day, it was just you and me and it was like easier. (8:33) For sure.(8:33) It was way less successful and way less fulfilling and way less meaningful. (8:36) And we certainly weren't gonna... (8:38) We didn't have $18,000 days back then.(8:42) Now we do, but it comes with a lot more responsibility, the ability to respond. (8:46) And I think that for anyone out there watching or listening, if you can't handle much uncertainty, in other words, you get kicked out of your trauma window super fast, you're in some trouble. (8:58) Last metaphor.(8:59) The reason I use the SEAL Team 6 metaphor in group coaching is because I wanted to warn everyone that I was about to kick them out of their trauma window. (9:07) I wanted to say, Hey, listen, just for this hour, I'm not gonna care about your feelings. (9:12) I want you to...(9:14) In the military, they train people with crawling through mud, shooting guns over their head. (9:20) Like they have to prepare you for the worst so that when shit hits the fan, you actually can perform. (9:27) If a regular citizen hears a gunshot, they're just gonna freak out and run.(9:32) A SEAL Team 6 member is gonna immediately size up the situation and be ready to roll. (9:36) That's a good metaphor for everything in life. (9:38) Like you and I on stage, if the mic doesn't work, we're not gonna just run off the stage and cry in the bathroom.(9:44) We're gonna figure it out and... (9:45) I might pee myself first. (9:46) And be fine most likely.(9:47) Because we've done this before. (9:49) We've trained our central nervous system to be calm and focused in uncertainty.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:54) When I was in the fire academy, one of my favorite things we did was... (9:59) They put you in a room. (10:01) It's pitch black.(10:02) You have your mask on and you're on air and your mask is blacked out. (10:06) So you can't see anything. (10:08) They take your air off you.(10:11) Your self-contained breathing apparatus. (10:13) They take it off you. (10:14) They fuck it all up.(10:16) They tangle the wires up. (10:18) They tangle the straps up. (10:19) And you have a certain amount of time to put it back together in the dark.(10:22) And it was one of the most stressful things ever of all time. (10:24) It was like terrible. (10:25) But a lot of the training was that.(10:27) A lot of the training was like, we're gonna put you in the worst... (10:29) Some of the worst situations you'll ever be in. (10:31) And if you can do it here, in hopefully worse conditions than you'll be in real life, you'll probably be able to perform.

Alan Lazaros

(10:37) Yeah, if the practice is harder than the game, the game will be easy. (10:40) And I do... (10:44) Yeah, I'll share this.(10:45) I actually think that that's how I've tried to design my life. (10:50) I want my day-to-day workouts to be harder than anything I'm going to face from anyone else. (10:56) And I don't know why my audio just got way louder.(11:00) One second. (11:01) Speaking of that...

Kevin Palmieri

(11:02) Nothing on my end. (11:03) Nothing on my end.

Alan Lazaros

(11:04) So you basically, in exposure therapy, you consistently expose yourself to more and more and more uncertainty in a given direction so that you can handle it better. (11:24) And I guess a live event is a good measure. (11:28) When we did Top Notch Live seven or eight years ago, you were kind of freaking out.(11:33) Understandable. (11:34) For sure. (11:34) But now I don't think you would.(11:36) I don't think you'd freak out now. (11:38) There was a lot behind it though, too, of like... (11:40) Well, let's talk about it.(11:42) Tell me, remember when you were mad at me? (11:44) Let's talk about that story. (11:46) What?(11:46) Which time? (11:47) You thought I was smooching with Emilia in the front while you took care of everything? (11:51) When in reality, I was asked by the videographer to fill those two seats in the front.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:54) Well, I think the thing is, I was there... (11:57) I get there super early. (11:58) I think I was the first one there.(12:00) I was setting up the timer. (12:02) I was setting up the PowerPoint presentation. (12:04) Somehow, I'm a speaker and also operating the PowerPoints.(12:09) Like, what the fuck are we doing here? (12:10) Why am I... (12:11) There's got to be somebody that's better at this than I am.(12:13) So I was just... (12:14) I was super overwhelmed. (12:16) I think I was more overwhelmed with the behind-the-scenes stuff than I was the on-stage stuff.(12:21) Because I was super uncertain. (12:22) And then I see Alan and Emilia smooching in the front row. (12:26) I'm running around like a chicken with her head off.(12:28) And I was like, what the fuck are you doing? (12:29) I need some help. (12:30) I was like, no, man, we got to be in front because the camera...(12:33) The camera's going to see the front row. (12:34) If there's nobody in the front row, it's going to look like a wild failure. (12:37) It's like, oh, okay.(12:38) I didn't know that at the time. (12:39) But that is...

Alan Lazaros

(12:40) The videographer at the time just said, hey, can you guys go sit in the front row? (12:43) Because it's a good shot. (12:45) But in hindsight, if I was me now, I would put someone else there so that I could still do other things.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:51) Lessons learned. (12:52) Lessons learned. (12:53) That has been one of the best things of this journey.(12:56) I think, if anything, I would ask you this question. (13:01) I feel like I have way more certainty now than I ever did in the beginning. (13:04) Yeah, same.(13:05) I feel way less uncertain. (13:07) Well, let's do this.

Alan Lazaros

(13:09) You have more uncertainty now.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:11) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(13:14) And more uncertainty. (13:15) I don't know. (13:17) I think you have more certainty in your capabilities and your awareness.(13:24) And less uncertainty in what? (13:25) And more uncertainty in... (13:28) Or yeah, less certainty.(13:29) You have to handle 86 clients now instead of the six that you started with or whatever. (13:34) Right? (13:34) One client is overwhelming, and then it's two, and then it's four, and then it's eight, and then it's 16, and then it's 32.(13:39) Right? (13:41) And by the way, if anyone else out there is leading a team, your job as a leader, I think, is to, I've said this before, create the uncertainty. (13:49) I was on with a business client earlier.(13:52) He has a 40-person team, probably 35 now. (13:57) And I was telling him, I want everyone on your team to be 10% outside of their current capabilities. (14:06) And demand should always be higher than supply.(14:09) And it's not right now. (14:10) It needs to be. (14:13) And to me, when you said eight last night, so I asked in group coaching, Kev, zero to 10, if 10 is the most overwhelmed you've ever been, where are you right now?(14:24) And you said eight. (14:25) And as a leader, I'm like, fuck that. (14:27) We got to get you back to 10 ASAP.(14:30) Why? (14:31) Because you're going to stop growing.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:32) That's like fighting a fighter that's easier. (14:35) No, you fight an eight out of 10, you're getting better. (14:37) You fight a 10 out of 10, you're getting knocked out.(14:39) Every single, yes. (14:41) If you're a 10, baby. (14:42) I'm not a 10 though.(14:44) Well, you're 9.9. You should fight a 10. (14:46) Yeah, but what am I in terms of competence? (14:50) I'm not a 10.(14:51) No, but in order to get to a 10, you got to fight a 10. (14:53) No, I disagree. (14:54) I think that's terrible.(14:55) I think it's a terrible analogy. (14:56) No, it's best ever. (14:57) A hundred percent.

Alan Lazaros

(14:58) No, no, no. (14:59) You got to play basketball with someone a little better than you. (15:01) A little better.(15:02) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (15:03) 10%. (15:05) So one 10th better.(15:07) So if you're a nine, you got to play a 10. (15:09) Yeah. (15:09) No, no way.(15:10) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:11) Yeah, but I'm not a nine is what I'm saying.

Alan Lazaros

(15:13) Oh, okay. (15:13) Well, then we got to get you back to nine.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:15) I think that's more accurate. (15:17) Fair. (15:17) 10 is a eight.(15:20) All right, we'll get you to nine. (15:21) This was yesterday. (15:22) Well, I'll be at nine.(15:23) You and I were talking earlier. (15:24) I'll get some opportunities. (15:25) I'll be at a nine shortly.

Alan Lazaros

(15:28) Remember when you asked me like, when was the last time you were just surviving? (15:32) I didn't know how to answer it because I think in some ways, never. (15:35) And in other ways, always.(15:39) I'm never, ever do I let myself live a life that's easier than my capabilities. (15:45) Never. (15:45) That's like going to the gym, lifting weights that are easy.(15:47) It's the dumbest shit ever. (15:49) There's no point. (15:50) It's like, there's no point.(15:51) If you're not struggling, there is no growth. (15:54) No point. (15:54) I agree.(15:54) I agree with that.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:55) Yeah. (15:56) I just think sometimes you miss the mark with me when it's like, I have to get you to 10. (16:00) It's 100%.(16:00) Yeah, I probably put you in 40% instead of 10%. (16:02) My eight is, it's up there. (16:05) The eight is not.(16:07) To me, that's coast mode. (16:08) You're coasting. (16:09) I'm not.(16:10) And I promise I'm not, but it makes sense. (16:12) It makes sense. (16:13) But that, I think that's, if I had to list out the order of benefits, like the top five benefits of this journey, that would be one of them for sure.(16:22) Just the ability to not, just have uncertainty about almost everything, all the time.

Alan Lazaros

(16:30) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:30) And then it's like uncertainty in regular life. (16:33) Like, hey, when's the plumber coming? (16:35) It's like, I don't know.(16:36) I'm not worried. (16:36) Whatever. (16:37) They'll get here when they get here.

Alan Lazaros

(16:38) It doesn't matter.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:38) We'll figure it out. (16:39) It's not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. (16:41) This is why you got to explain this.(16:42) All right, good. (16:43) This is it.

Alan Lazaros

(16:43) It's a capacity. (16:44) Back in the day, that would have taken your day. (16:47) Like back in the day, nine years ago, you would have spent your day ruminating on about when the plumber was coming.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:53) I do, I don't ruminate, but I do have to make sure everything is, I can't have a call.

Alan Lazaros

(16:58) But now you can't even, you can't do that now. (17:02) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (17:03) Because you, that's where you go there.(17:08) There are other things to worry about. (17:10) Yeah, like that's not even on the list. (17:12) That can't be the thing to worry about.(17:13) When he comes, he comes. (17:14) Like if he doesn't come, he doesn't come. (17:15) It's a do out.(17:18) You obviously have to make sure you're available when he gets there to open the door and all that stuff. (17:23) But I remember back in the day, you would like get uncertain about these little things that were so trivial. (17:30) And I didn't realize, number one, they're not completely trivial.(17:34) Because the little things aren't matter. (17:36) But number two, you definitely get, you got kicked out of your trauma window very quickly.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:39) Yeah, for sure. (17:41) All the time. (17:41) I was always outside of my trauma window.(17:43) I was outside of my trauma window for years at a time. (17:46) Well, now your window grows. (17:47) My window has grown.(17:48) But again, it, that took a lot of very intentional. (17:53) I, this happened to me three days ago. (17:58) When I first got anxiety, I had to teach myself.(18:03) And again, it's not as serious as it sounds. (18:04) There's people who have overcome way more than this. (18:06) But I had to teach myself that walking on the treadmill was safe and I wasn't gonna have a panic attack.(18:11) Like walking on the treadmill made me want to have a panic attack. (18:15) I was a little congested the other day. (18:17) I had to stop the treadmill.(18:21) Like 15 minutes into my walk, because I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna have a fucking panic attack. (18:26) So I have tried to work through that very, very, very diligently over the last however many years. (18:32) And I still get times like that.(18:34) That hasn't happened in a long time, but still. (18:37) The way through is through.

Alan Lazaros

(18:41) That sounded dumb. (18:42) But when I had claustrophobia after my car accident, I had to face that. (18:47) I didn't like crowds.(18:49) I didn't like, you know, small doorways. (18:51) But I, what am I gonna do? (18:53) Avoid small doorways the rest of my life?(18:55) Like you have to go and expose yourself to crowds. (18:59) You have to go expose. (19:00) I would puff my chest up and walk in and out of the small doorway in my basement because I would get exposure therapy.(19:08) And I think that this is the thing that we get wrong. (19:12) We underestimate how much the mind and body can adapt physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually when we, like you think that that speech is gonna kill you and it's just not. (19:27) It's not gonna kill you.(19:28) Yeah, you might think about it 10 years later and go, I can't believe I said that. (19:33) I can't believe I did that. (19:33) But at the end of the day, if a 10 person speech kicks you out of your trauma window, you're never gonna be a successful speaker.(19:40) You have to do 10 and then 15 and then 30 and then 60. (19:45) I think you have to risk having an anxiety attack or let's rephrase that. (19:52) You have to risk getting kicked out of your trauma window, which is getting out of your comfort zone.(19:57) That really is a thing. (19:58) You can't go around it. (19:59) You can't go under it and over it.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:02) You have to choose to go through it. (20:05) You gotta find the right amount though. (20:07) That's all.(20:08) Agreed. (20:08) That's all it is. (20:09) But it has to be more than you can currently handle.(20:13) It's gonna be extremely uncomfortable and it's supposed to be. (20:17) But it's safe.

Alan Lazaros

(20:18) If you can easily do 50s for five, you've gotta try to go for seven and end up at six. (20:25) Yeah. (20:26) Or you gotta do 55s for five, right?(20:28) That's the metaphor for everything. (20:30) And I think that with fitness, it's easy because you can see it. (20:35) But with emotions and mentality, you can't see it.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:38) Well, with fitness, it's easy too because it's you versus you for the most part. (20:42) Yeah. (20:43) Well, I get 55s for five and I drop them.(20:46) It's like, that's not the end of the world. (20:48) I think that's a piece of it. (20:49) With other things, you mean there's more moving parts?(20:51) There's a moving part. (20:52) There's a crowd. (20:53) There's an audience.(20:54) Well, in the gym, sometimes there is.

Alan Lazaros

(20:56) But nobody knows you're going for seven. (20:59) Nobody knows.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:00) They just see what you're...

Alan Lazaros

(21:02) Well, this goes back to the fail forward thing. (21:04) I'm such a firm believer in fail forward. (21:06) Fail, fail early.(21:08) Fail often. (21:08) Fail forward. (21:11) And the only wrong answer is to not be willing to push the limits of your current capacity.(21:22) And you're right. (21:23) If you go too far and you get injured, you're gonna need some R&R. (21:27) And then you get back up and you try.(21:30) Someone asked me last piece. (21:31) Someone asked me on a podcast earlier. (21:33) He said, why did you always get back up?(21:37) Because when my stepdad left at 14, and I didn't know if I'd be able to go to college and all this stuff. (21:42) And I said, I've never really shared it this way before, but I never really considered not getting up. (21:48) Like, what's the alternative?(21:50) I just stay where I am? (21:52) That feels like not even an option for me. (21:54) And he's like, well, people do it all the time.(21:56) And I was like, yeah, that's a good point. (22:01) I would have you answer this too. (22:05) To me, I know this is gonna sound very fortune cookie, but I'm gonna keep trying to be successful podcasters for the rest of forever until I decide I don't want them anymore.(22:16) I'm not gonna give up because I don't think, because it's hard. (22:20) I'm not gonna give up because it's hard. (22:22) I'm gonna give up because I decide I don't want it anymore.(22:24) It's not worth it. (22:25) But I'm never gonna give up. (22:29) I don't even know if I would know what that would be like.(22:31) Like, what would that even look like? (22:33) And he was like, well, people do it all the time. (22:36) And I was like, yeah, but I've never understood why.(22:38) Like, how do you live with yourself when you gave up on your dreams?

Kevin Palmieri

(22:43) I think most people convinced themselves it wasn't their dream, probably. (22:47) Or they attached to circumstance. (22:51) I understand.(22:53) I think, again, it always goes back to this. (22:55) If you believe you're gonna make it eventually, it's easy to keep going. (22:58) Easier, not easier.(22:59) No, but I actually think I take it a step further.

Alan Lazaros

(23:01) Even if I don't make it, I will be proud that I kept trying forever.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:05) But what have you not made? (23:08) You made everything, you know what I mean? (23:11) And again, not to minimize that, but you know what I mean?(23:14) No, no, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(23:15) Well, I mean, a lot of my dreams I haven't made yet. (23:20) I know, but... (23:21) For sure.(23:22) But a lot you have. (23:23) Yeah, I would say... (23:26) Yeah, but you start somewhere.(23:27) I started out with none of my dreams.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:30) But you have the proof, that's all. (23:31) That's all I'm saying is you have the proof.

Alan Lazaros

(23:33) But I didn't in the beginning. (23:35) You had something, though. (23:37) Agreed.(23:39) Let's say I have 100 dreams. (23:41) Everyone out there listening, we all. (23:42) We all have 100 dreams, let's just say.(23:43) 100 goals, 100 dreams, fucking bucket list, whatever you want to call it. (23:47) Okay, I'm 37, so I've accomplished probably like 50 of mine. (23:50) Not even.(23:51) Honestly, no way. (23:52) Probably like 10 out of the 100, okay? (23:55) The big ones.(23:56) I probably have a thousand, but the point is I started at zero just like everybody else, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:03) I'm not saying you didn't. (24:06) I'm just saying the belief thing is you've always had belief for whatever reason. (24:11) I don't know how to equate that for somebody else.(24:14) I don't know. (24:15) Just like I didn't. (24:16) I don't know.(24:17) I just don't know where it comes from or where it doesn't come from.

Alan Lazaros

(24:22) Do you have things that you quit on?

Kevin Palmieri

(24:23) Fuck yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(24:24) So many. (24:25) I don't know if I can say that, brother. (24:27) I have things that I decided not to do anymore.(24:30) I remember making the decision not to become a pro gamer. (24:32) That was really hard for me. (24:34) Yeah, I don't.(24:35) I was like, I'm going to go to college and I got a girlfriend. (24:37) And I actually regretted that a little bit. (24:39) I don't now because I'm grateful how things worked out.(24:42) But I remember for a little while, I went to MLG Providence and I had serious regret. (24:46) Serious remorse. (24:47) I ran into one of my ex-teammates and he was famous in that industry and very successful.(24:53) And I was like drunk and upset, you know, and I was like a sophomore in college and not that happy. (25:01) And I remember thinking like, oh my God, did I make a mistake? (25:04) Like, should I not have gone to college?(25:05) Should I have like done this gaming thing? (25:08) But I used that as fuel though. (25:10) And I was like, no, I'm going to make this better.(25:13) I'm going to make this road better, you know? (25:15) So I've had regrets, but I've never really given up. (25:18) I've usually chosen and then thought I might've chosen wrong.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:21) I think that's fair. (25:22) I don't know if anybody says like, I'm going to quit this. (25:24) I'm never going to do.(25:25) I don't know. (25:25) I don't know. (25:28) I don't know if I have a good answer for that.(25:29) Do you ever quit things because they're too hard?

Alan Lazaros

(25:32) No, I don't think that's the reason. (25:35) Do you think people do? (25:36) Yeah, of course.(25:36) Because when he asked me that question, I did have the moment. (25:38) It was very humbling of like, I don't know if I have a fucking answer. (25:41) Because I didn't consciously when I was 14 be like, okay, this is really bad and I'm going to figure out how to make it right.(25:50) Like it wasn't conscious. (25:51) It was just like, okay, my mom used to say, soldier the fuck up, like soldier up. (25:56) And I agree with that.(25:58) I just do like soldier the fuck up. (26:00) What are we doing here? (26:01) What are you going to give up?

Kevin Palmieri

(26:02) No one's going to save you. (26:04) Do you think you'd believe that if that's not what you got? (26:07) I think that people need more of that.(26:09) Soldier the fuck up. (26:11) Do you think you'd believe it if that wasn't ingrained in you? (26:14) When would you have come to that?(26:15) We can't, we don't have time because we have the team call, but that's an interesting question. (26:18) Let's do an episode for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(26:19) Because I do think that there needs to be like this, like you can't know, there has to be this, this part of you that knows you can't go back. (26:30) Back is never going to work. (26:31) Of course, of course.(26:32) But, but I do actually want to have that conversation of why people give up so easily. (26:37) Because I do, I think a lot of people give up like way too soon.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:40) They don't think it's, they don't think it's going to be worth it. (26:46) Honestly. (26:46) And for a lot of people, it's not going to be worth it.(26:49) Ah, that's crap. (26:50) They're not going to make it. (26:51) We should have that conversation.(26:53) You and I know a bunch of people that are awesome and heart-driven. (26:56) They're not going to make it. (26:58) Not in the way that they think.(27:00) But it will still be better than if they just stop. (27:03) I think, yeah, as long as they evolve into the understanding that it's not going to be what they thought. (27:07) Yeah, which is predicated on them.

Alan Lazaros

(27:10) I don't know why I'm holding this chapstick. (27:11) This episode brought to you by Blistex. (27:14) Yeah, no, but let's do that episode.(27:15) We'll do an episode on it. (27:16) Yeah, we'll do it. (27:17) We'll do that tomorrow.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:17) We'll do that tomorrow. (27:18) All right, we got to go. (27:18) As always, we love you.(27:19) We appreciate you. (27:19) Grateful for each and every one of you. (27:20) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(27:26) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (27:29) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:31) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (27:35) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(27:38) We mean it when we say family. (27:40) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (27:43) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:47) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.