This Lie About Rejection Can Help OR Hurt You (2387)

The truth you need to grow. In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan take a hard look at what helps people improve and what keeps them comfortable. Drawing from years of coaching, thousands of episodes, and lessons from their own lives, they show how easy it is to mistake reassurance for progress.

This conversation gets honest about rejection, self-awareness, ego, humility, and the kind of feedback that actually helps you grow. If you want better judgment, deeper self-belief, and a more grounded path forward, this episode will challenge how you think about improvement. Press play and let comfort stop calling the shots.

____________________

Learn more about:
Track the Work. Earn the Results. To know more about the "Next Level Fitness Accountability Group," reach out.

• Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
• Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

Join our private Facebook community, “Next Level Nation,” to grow alongside people who are committed to improvement. - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700

Where learning turns into action. Join “Next Level Book Club”  every Saturday:
https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJMkcuiupjIqE9QlkptiKDQykRtKyFB5Jbhc

_______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(1:31) The lie about rejection
(2:50) Comfort versus the truth
(4:56) Why do popped bubbles help growth
(6:01) The danger of over-affirmation
(7:08) How much truth can you handle
(8:13) Self-belief comes after humility
(11:31) When the hard truth is real care
(13:20) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Would you rather somebody lie to you to make you feel better about starting something (0:07) and pull the wool over your eyes a little bit because they know if they tell you the truth (0:12) you're not actually going to do the thing or would you rather somebody sit you down and say

Alan Lazaros

(0:15) hey this is exactly how it works good luck yeah transparency is super important understanding (0:22) it's like a magician on stage once you know the trick behind the curtain it's not as impressive

Kevin Palmieri

(0:28) but then you can replicate it welcome to next level university i'm your host kevin palmary (0:34) and i'm your co-host alan lazarus at nlu we believe in a heart-driven but no bs approach (0:41) to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers our goal with every episode is to help you level (0:46) up your life love health and wealth we bring you a new episode every single day on topics like (0:55) confidence self-belief self-worth self-awareness relationships boundaries consistency habits (1:03) and defining your own unique version of success self-improvement in your pocket every day

Alan Lazaros

(1:10) from anywhere completely free welcome to next level university next level nation today for

Kevin Palmieri

(1:20) episode number 2387 this lie about rejection can help or hurt you okay this can be a quick episode (1:26) i don't think this episode should be super long anyway honestly so this will be a quick one (1:31) i was listening to a book and it was all about sales and one of the biggest things that is (1:35) talked about in sales is overcoming the fear of rejection you're going to get rejected people (1:40) are going to say no blah blah blah and in this book which i'm not going to name because i do (1:44) think it's a positive it's a net positive i learned a lot it was good but in this book he said when you (1:50) start getting rejected you should be excited because that means you have a really good idea (1:54) and i was like whoa whoa whoa whoa i'm all for every rejection is one step closer to i'm not (2:03) all for i'm partially for every rejection is closer one step closer to yes but there is no (2:12) logic behind yeah when you start getting rejected you should know you have a really good idea that's (2:16) the dumbest shit i've ever heard my entire life and then they go into like colonel sanders was (2:22) rejected a thousand times before you want to jump off this bridge with me yeah like no you're

Alan Lazaros

(2:28) supposed to say no yeah no it's a really good idea though that means it's a good idea yeah it's a good (2:32) idea there's layers to all these things i know even though this this no is one closer step to (2:38) to a yes yeah if you change your approach right and or your product it's not guaranteed

Kevin Palmieri

(2:44) yeah it's not guaranteed i don't that always so so here this is the there's the the meta (2:50) lesson that i want to talk about and the the greater one would you rather have the truth up (2:56) front if i sat you down and just said like look you're gonna get rejected a bunch and one of the (3:02) reasons you get rejected is probably because you're gonna be like dog shit at this at first (3:05) and that's totally fine you can get better nice but there is no guarantee any of this works no (3:11) matter how good your product like you're gonna get rejected doesn't matter you can have the best (3:15) thing in the world colonel sanders was selling fried chicken it was like fried chicken he got (3:21) rejected all the time or would you rather me sit you down and say alan will use an example like (3:28) alan i know brother i know it sucks i know but think like that rejection was one step closer (3:34) to you getting yes and the fact that you're even getting rejected means you have a really good idea (3:38) that people just can't understand yet that that's the question for you out there in the beginning i (3:43) definitely wanted the second one more of the second one now like please just tell me that i (3:48) suck just if i do just tell me that way i can try to work on it yeah the popping the bubble in

Alan Lazaros

(3:59) advance i sat a client down earlier today and uh sat her down we were on zoom uh she was sitting (4:06) down i'm sure she was sitting down yeah and i said hey we've been coaching together a long time (4:11) and some of the stuff that you wanted me to believe about you in the in the beginning (4:16) i found out is not true at all is there anything else can i just like i told her this i said i (4:22) went back and i i reviewed past events we have next level live coming up and i reviewed some (4:26) past events trying to get some photos i'm gonna make a post and uh i just look back and it's (4:31) she was at some of our events all all of them actually i think and i was like you know i didn't (4:37) really know that you didn't know like everyone acts like they know finance they act like it like (4:46) yeah my finances are dope like you know how everyone acts like and you've told me it's in (4:51) it's very vulnerable to say hey i don't know what i'm doing shit you feel shame you feel shame yeah (4:56) exactly okay um and i i said can we just pop all the bubbles right now so that i can actually (5:03) effectively coach you and i'm like is there anywhere else that you think i think better of (5:10) you than you really are and she's like honestly ironically no because i think i've been popping (5:16) them all lately which is why i feel so fucking terrible i'm kidding she actually did say that (5:20) i'm not kidding but uh we laughed about it we had a good laugh is there anything that you think i'm (5:25) full of shit about that you want to call me out for and she thought for a little while and she was (5:30) like no i said okay i believe in us now more than ever then because nothing is delusional (5:37) this is the best place to start why do you think everyone's life transforms in the movies after (5:42) giant humble pie after the bubble bursts that's when everyone gets back to reality (5:51) back to reality is when you can build something real again my car you know your suicidal ideation

Kevin Palmieri

(5:56) this this is a thing good how do you how do you know i think we we are in a place where (6:01) things are overly affirming i actually got feedback from somebody that feedback (6:07) recognizance for lack of better phrasing they said hey this is in the military yeah this no i (6:12) could not handle that for sure this uh this other ai is just way better because it actually pushes (6:16) back when you have dumb ideas yeah and i was like damn but shout out to you brother i know (6:22) we know who we're talking about claude's yeah yeah it's it's not overly affirming (6:28) yeah it pops your bubble right chat you please not pop your bubble at all it essentially just (6:33) blows it up it's like oh oh my goodness your your partner was mad at you oh my god i can see why you (6:38) cheated on them they yeah they were 15 minutes late for dinner it's like i can you definitely (6:42) felt un un unneeded and and i can totally understand that that like for you it made (6:48) sense to fall into the arms of another person like that makes total sense like no that's dumb

Alan Lazaros

(6:51) that's terrible advice yeah if we ever did personal development comedy that would be it (6:55) that's good stuff man honestly well i think ai is a good learning tool but you have to be very (7:01) careful but robotics is gonna be messed up because to the point yeah good to the point to the point

Kevin Palmieri

(7:08) how is it self-belief like what is what is the determining factor on how much (7:16) truth somebody can handle from your perspective mine is belief

Alan Lazaros

(7:22) yeah probably probably self-efficacy but the paradox here is that you don't build self-efficacy (7:29) okay um there's someone i know who is uh has been offered a 14 000 vacation and and it's it's a (7:38) handout and i'm not interested i was invited um the reason why is because i don't want handouts (7:47) and and this person one of my clients she's like why though and i said because i would (7:53) because handouts don't force you to become the person who can do that now i'm not saying anyone (8:00) who takes any handout or any gift is like that's all fine i got scholarships and financial aid (8:04) when i was going to college like i get it the point that i'm making though is that (8:10) there's a paradox here where you think it's self-belief

Kevin Palmieri

(8:13) but self-belief comes after rock bottom i think self-belief or humility (8:20) with the definition of humility being you already have been honest with yourself about the truth of (8:27) yourself is that what you would define humility as i don't fucking know it changes every day i

Alan Lazaros

(8:32) yeah i'd like it to be but i don't know if it tracks well that's you and i talked recently (8:38) about how delusional people we have trouble with because a lot of times it's ego (8:43) people who just think they're so much better than they really are it must feel real nice (8:48) of course we've all been there it feels good but it's it's you're just waiting for some calamity (8:54) like there's going to be some huge crash i remember i had a facebook photo posted of me (8:58) at a party when i was wasted and that was my wake-up call i've had a million of those someone (9:04) asked me on a podcast earlier awesome show and he said well the car accident was the ego death for you (9:10) and i was like yes but ego deaths are supposed to happen all the time that's what every coaching (9:16) call is it's it's how do i get kevin to realize that he's out of shape if you don't know that (9:22) it's important for you always go in there always no no but you're in great shape now but for a (9:29) while there it was it was looking the trend line was down well yeah but yeah but i was like yeah

Kevin Palmieri

(9:33) no i know man no no i know but hit me with the finance shit you have to tell me i'm out of shape

Alan Lazaros

(9:39) i know that i just did i don't know how broke i am that's the most tangible okay it's the most (9:44) goddamn tangible and also it's like why are you only shitting on kev squad anyone listening i'm (9:50) not shitting on kev number one i've already told him this to his face number two you all know him (9:55) it's not going to be as relevant if i'm like hey mr john smith the third uh one time was kind of (10:02) letting himself go and yeah it's it's not not that's dumb yeah people like why do you talk (10:08) negatively about people i don't i'm using people as an example to learn from and there is two of

Kevin Palmieri

(10:12) us so this is the ref like who am i going to reference if i can reference we gotta reference

Alan Lazaros

(10:16) each other imagine uh john smith the third js3 yep yeah js3 so he one time he you know was under (10:25) the impression that he was jacked and uh he started to he stopped working out when kovat (10:31) happened like completely for like four or five months and just started eating like a dickhead (10:35) right this fucking guy i i fuck with this guy yeah yeah you know this guy obviously you know

Kevin Palmieri

(10:40) who i'm talking about well that's the other issue too is people would be like you're talking about (10:44) kevin aren't you so it would it would make it even worse like you call it's like so i have this friend (10:52) and we'll call him devin yeah we'll call him uh devin devin paul pippin palmarini how does how (11:01) does your friend feel i'm sure i'd say sad sad to semi sad how do you know that have you asked (11:06) them i'm the person i'm the person i have a friend okay what was the point of this episode again i (11:12) know we gotta jump um it was started as the rejection thing right like rejection yeah the (11:19) lie about rejection i think we should probably just do a part two on like delusion the uh how (11:24) much truth is a constructive amount of truth yeah based on where you are yeah well let's each give

Alan Lazaros

(11:31) a takeaway and then we'll we'll transition to that but what i would say is people who are bursting (11:36) your bubble some of them actually are bullies just being pricks okay they they are being (11:41) disrespectful and they're being bullies trying to inflate themselves by putting you down that's a (11:45) real thing some people really care enough about you to tell you like my client i said you make (11:51) terrible financial decisions i'm not trying to be mean i just want you to change (11:56) for you not for me i'm gonna be fine i don't make bad financial decisions i do but not (12:01) in the context of this b what if someone cares about you so much that they would rather (12:09) risk the relationship than see you suffer for another decade you're not gonna fix something

Kevin Palmieri

(12:14) you think is already great mine i heard a song recently i felt i just felt like you find a rapper (12:21) that you just dig and they just crush it and one of the things he said was um essentially i i was (12:27) mad at my mom at the time for telling me i couldn't fly but if she didn't tell me i probably (12:32) would have jumped off the roof and died no and the next line is i essentially i hope i don't clip my (12:38) kids wings where they don't chase their dreams but i also want to tell them the truth that would be (12:43) constructive it's much better than that exists because this person's a really good rapper so (12:46) but that like sometimes you are seemingly clipping people's wings by telling them they (12:52) can't fly but it doesn't mean you can't if they're fake wings you're not clipping their

Alan Lazaros

(12:56) wings that's fair yeah and and there is the other side of that where people actually don't think you (13:02) can do it when you really could so it's part two will be fire part two will be fire make sure you

Kevin Palmieri

(13:06) tune in for part two we've been doing a lot of part twos but i feel like i have been really (13:11) digging the content so hopefully you also have been all right next office uh fitness accountability (13:15) group alan's coaching next level nation master classes book club we got a lot of stuff a lot of (13:20) stuff for you as always we love you we appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you and if (13:24) you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level make sure to tune in tomorrow (13:27) because we will be here every single day to help you get there keep leveling up to reach your full (13:31) potential next elimination thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university we

Alan Lazaros

(13:38) love connecting with the next level family we mean it when we say family if you ever need anything (13:43) please reach out to us directly everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes

Kevin Palmieri

(13:49) thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow