Why Health, Wealth AND Love Goals Are Exponentially Harder (2390)

Not every good thing fits together. In this episode, Kevin and Alan break down why health, wealth, and love often start pulling against each other when you take growth seriously. Most people think more effort solves everything. It does not. Some goals demand different sacrifices, and without real clarity, progress in one area can create friction in another.

This episode explores competing priorities, self-awareness, identity, and the standards shaping your decisions behind the scenes. It is a grounded look at what it takes to build a life that is aligned, not just ambitious. Press play before your goals start fighting harder than you think.

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Learn more about:
Track the Work. Earn the Results. To know more about the "Next Level Fitness Accountability Group," reach out.

• Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
• Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Email:
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Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:17) The reality of competing priorities
(8:50) Why you cannot be elite at everything
(11:14) Goals in conflict require clear priorities
(17:07) Why success is often more image than reality
(18:19) Belonging theory shapes your standards
(23:02) Clarity about values changes everything
(27:10) Why health may be the foundation
(29:00) Relationships and happiness connection
(31:43) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I am focused on saving as much money as possible. (0:04) Downside of that, I am also a bodybuilder who really likes ground beef. (0:08) And right now, ground beef is like six, seven, eight dollars a pound.(0:12) Taryn came home with like eight pounds the other day. (0:14) And it got really, really, really expensive. (0:17) But I want a very specific thing to happen in fitness.(0:20) And I kind of have a goal in conflict when it comes to saving money. (0:25) Goals in conflict, health, wealth, and love. (0:28) How do you integrate them?(0:29) How do you make sure they're not in friction? (0:31) How do you make sure that you're prioritizing them accurately? (0:35) Welcome to Next Level University.(0:37) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:39) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:42) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.(0:49) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (0:55) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (1:11) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.(1:18) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:23) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,390. (1:27) Why health, wealth, and love goals are exponentially harder.(1:32) Taryn and I went on a date. (1:33) First date night, and it's too long. (1:36) Just too long.(1:38) And it was really good for relationship. (1:43) Bodybuilding-wise, not great. (1:46) Financial-wise, $170.(1:49) Not great. (1:50) Yeah, yeah. (1:51) Yeah, it was expensive.(1:52) And it was not great. (1:53) The apps and the drinks, man. (1:55) We...(1:55) They get all the margins. (1:57) We get apps and a drink each, so... (1:59) Yeah.(1:59) That'll do it. (2:00) And it wasn't that great. (2:01) Got really good reviews, it wasn't that great.(2:03) The point of that is, relationship, that night was 10 out of 10. (2:08) Fitness, I didn't eat all day so I could actually enjoy something at the restaurant. (2:12) And we spent a boatload of money that if we could go back, we probably would not have spent in the way we spent it.(2:17) I'm trying to accomplish three things in one go, and it's fucking impossible. (2:21) Because life costs money. (2:25) Most oftentimes, relationships cost money.(2:27) But you're trying to save money. (2:29) But you want to have fun, unique experiences. (2:30) And you want to experience life.(2:31) Oh, wait, you want supplements? (2:33) Oh, you want pre-workout? (2:34) Oh, you want Amazon?(2:36) You want to order a movie? (2:37) You want to go to the movies? (2:39) Life be lifin'.(2:41) So that's it. (2:42) You know it. (2:44) So you remember last year I started saying this, I think?(2:49) Last year when I said, one of the cool things about working so much, huh? (2:55) One of the cool things about working so much is you're not spending. (2:59) New thoughts on that?(3:00) No, same. (3:02) It's again- You think that'll ever turn? (3:04) If I never take R&R, yeah.(3:08) But it's- R&R is not expensive though. (3:10) Depends on what you're doing. (3:12) I'm not going to dinner with Taryn on Monday at one o'clock.(3:17) It's always- But when you're working, you're not spending. (3:20) I know. (3:20) You're not shopping, you're not- Yeah, but what I'm saying is I would have to drastically increase the amount that I work to spend less because I'm already- The spending I'm doing is during off time.(3:31) You know what I mean? (3:33) Yeah, but when you work more- But that's what I'm saying is I would just have to work forever then. (3:40) You know what I mean?(3:41) Okay, imagine you take next week off. (3:44) Hypothetically. (3:45) You're going to spend- I'm going to golf every day.(3:48) Yeah, oh yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(3:48) See?

Kevin Palmieri

(3:49) Be 70 bucks a whack. (3:50) You're proving my point. (3:52) Well yeah, but that's like taking every day off.(3:55) It's so easy. (3:57) It depends on what work you're doing. (3:59) That's part one.(4:01) It depends on what work you're doing. (4:02) But people aren't like on Amazon at work. (4:06) Excuse me?(4:07) Of course they are. (4:08) What do you mean? (4:09) Maybe they are.(4:10) What do you mean? (4:12) Where do you think they consume most of their social media? (4:15) You think it's on off hours?(4:16) No, fuck no. (4:18) That's so- I know someone. (4:20) When they worked at corporate America, they would every so often have to get up and go quote unquote wiggle the mouse.(4:28) And that is not a sexual innuendo. (4:30) They literally got up and went to wiggle the mouse so it looked like they were working. (4:37) That's so detrimental.(4:38) That's why I think it's- I think the- Not only to the company, but to that person. (4:42) I think the principle is it makes sense, but I don't think most people are- You would have to be so deep in flow for the entire time. (4:52) But that doesn't make the principle not- Yeah, the principle is accurate.(4:55) I think the principle is accurate, but it is wildly dependent on certain circumstances. (5:01) Yeah. (5:03) If you're engaged in your work deeply and you're working a lot of hours, you're probably spending less money.(5:10) I guess it just depends on- Dude, I ordered- Our cats, they have little cat dish holders because it's not good for their necks to bend and it's been broken. (5:20) I stepped on it and shattered the thing. (5:22) So we've been using just makeshift anything, right?(5:24) I ordered that at 9.30 today when I walked by it. (5:27) I was like, I need one of those. (5:28) I need to- Okay, I'll order that.(5:29) That was during the work day. (5:34) $19.99. But if you weren't engaged in your work- Well, it was in the transition. (5:44) You ever have one of those weeks where you're just in it?(5:47) Yeah, but I still- You don't even have time to buy jeans. (5:50) You know what I mean? (5:52) Yeah, of course.(5:53) But you're not like- If you go on a 14-day vacation, you're going to spend a load of money. (6:02) That's kind of my point. (6:04) I don't think it lands the same.(6:06) If you have four days off, I would be willing to bet money on the data on this. (6:10) If someone has four days off and they get bored, people spend money when they're bored. (6:14) I would love to see studies on that.(6:15) I think that's fair. (6:16) But I also think you're drastically overestimating how much most people do at work. (6:20) I think that's all I'm saying is like, dude, I used to work a ton.(6:23) I spent a boatload of money. (6:26) But when you have free time, you end up spending money. (6:29) Most things are not free.(6:31) You can go to the beach for free, but there's gas. (6:33) Parking. (6:33) And then you end up getting Subway.(6:34) And then you end up getting Admiral Nelson. (6:37) I'm kidding. (6:38) No, I'm just going back to when I was 19.(6:42) The point is, is when you're off, I'm telling you, you have a whole- Dude, if you looked at the stats of consumers on Labor Day weekend, I'm telling you, people spend a shitload of money on 4th of July.

Alan Lazaros

(6:53) I agree.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:53) I'm just not as all in on it as you. (6:55) That's all. (6:56) No.(6:56) Oh, well, anyways, we'll argue another time. (6:59) For anyone out there watching or listening, reach out to Kevin or I and say, hey, you're right. (7:03) I spend more money when I have time off.(7:06) Or you're wrong, Alan. (7:07) When I make more money, I spend more money. (7:09) That's what I think your original thesis was, is when people make more money, they spend more money.(7:15) I think people spend a lot of money when- I think they spend a lot of money when they need convenience. (7:21) That's my thought. (7:22) Dude, I'm not proud of this.(7:25) One day, I had meetings. (7:27) It was from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. And I texted Tyrone. (7:31) I said, you want Starbucks?(7:31) I'm going to DoorDash it. (7:32) I never, ever, ever, ever, ever DoorDash Starbucks. (7:36) It's the dumbest shit in the world.(7:37) You pay $35 for three drinks. (7:39) What are we doing here? (7:41) But $35 instead of what you would have done, which is $75 for a golfing day.(7:46) And then you would have gotten lunch at the clubhouse or whatever.

Alan Lazaros

(7:49) I'm not the guy.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:50) I buzz in there. (7:51) We're going to do something in the future.

Alan Lazaros

(7:53) We're going to figure this out.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:53) I play my 18. (7:54) I ain't going in the fucking cafe. (7:55) I'm not interested.(7:56) But you're weird. (7:57) I'm not interested in your cold cut sandwiches. (7:59) I'm not interested.(7:59) Hey, you're weird. (8:01) That's okay. (8:01) You also golf alone.(8:02) I love golf. (8:03) It's weird. (8:04) Yeah, it's fine.(8:05) I'm not making it wrong. (8:06) I'm just saying you are not a good statistic. (8:07) I don't understand.(8:09) Why do you need people? (8:11) You go out there. (8:13) You got your bag.(8:14) You got your clubs. (8:15) You got your balls. (8:16) You're good to go.(8:17) We don't need to talk to anybody. (8:18) Let me free, baby. (8:19) I wish.(8:20) I told this last thing before we actually get to the value. (8:23) I told this to one of my golf buddies. (8:25) I said, when I am wealthy enough, I'm just going to buy four tee times and invite no one.(8:30) I'm just going to go by myself. (8:32) I'm just going to have the whole place to myself. (8:35) When I get wealthy enough, I'm just going to buy a course.(8:38) All right, health, wealth, and love. (8:39) Goals are exponentially harder for this reason. (8:42) Yeah, so this is what I'm supposed to do.(8:44) Thank you, everybody. (8:45) Hopefully, you took something from that. (8:46) Seriously, though, which one are you?(8:48) Nice. (8:50) That's what the takeaway is. (8:51) Which one are you?(8:52) When you work more, do you spend less? (8:54) Because if you have big financial goals, earning more plus spending less is how you do it. (9:01) So I'm just saying it's a cheat code if you're one of those people.(9:03) All right, I sent you a message about 1% of 1% of 1% and all that. (9:10) Find me someone who's top 1% in health, wealth, and love. (9:14) If you are top 1% in health, top 1% in love, top 1% in wealth, that means you are one out of 100.(9:22) It is doable. (9:24) That is doable. (9:26) That means you're one in a million, though.(9:27) One over 100 to the third power. (9:29) Does that make sense? (9:30) You're top 1% in health, so that's one out of 100.(9:34) Top 1% wealth, that's one of 100. (9:36) Top 1% in love, that's one out of 100. (9:38) Multiply, do the division, yes.(9:40) Percentages, yes. (9:42) So one in a million if you want all those. (9:45) Yes, if you want all those.(9:46) That makes sense. (9:47) Okay. (9:48) So let's talk about what that means.(9:51) Because you'll never really know. (9:52) It's not like you're going to get a random sample of 100 people. (9:54) Am I number one?(9:55) Like this is a metaphor. (9:57) Statistics, it's accurate, but it's also a metaphor. (9:59) All right, so if you put 100 random people on earth in a room, are you top 1% in health?(10:06) I don't, this is all, dude, statistics always jeffs me. (10:10) I think so. (10:11) All right, well, let's do the easier one.(10:14) Let's do the easier one. (10:16) Do you know what the top 1% income earners are in the world? (10:22) Globally, not the U.S. The U.S. is like 450 grand. (10:25) But globally, it's top 1% is like 140. (10:28) Okay. (10:29) USD, different currencies, conversions, like the USD.(10:33) $140,000 USD, you're top 1% globally. (10:36) And I know that because when I became top 1%, and this is back then, so it changes year over year. (10:40) But I was global 1% earner in my early to mid 20s.(10:44) And I remember people would be like, no, you're not. (10:47) I said, I didn't say net worth. (10:49) I'm not net worth.(10:51) Net worth, it's much higher, especially older people, right? (10:53) They own a bunch of homes, all this kind of stuff. (10:56) So earner, and that's the other thing about this, health, wealth, and love, what category?(11:01) It's like, are you talking about muscle mass? (11:03) You are 1%, I'm certain of that. (11:05) Body comp, muscle mass percentage, without a doubt, you're top 1%.(11:08) But like longevity, probably not. (11:11) Cardiovascular health, definitely not. (11:12) No, definitely not that for sure.(11:14) But that's the thing, right? (11:15) So the point of this episode is you have goals in conflict. (11:19) You're not going to be top 1% in everything.(11:21) You've got to choose. (11:23) And you've got to choose in advance. (11:24) Otherwise, you're going to be drifting around with the tide, hoping you land someplace nice.(11:29) It's just a terrible idea. (11:30) Do you think you can be top, like, what are the, again, what is a good goal for people? (11:39) I mean, it depends what they value.(11:41) So go to your values. (11:42) So do you choose, like, I would rather be top 1% here, top 5% here, top 10% here? (11:50) Yeah, I think that's useful.(11:53) But I do, it's hard for me to think. (11:56) But yeah, that's good, right? (11:58) Yeah.(11:58) Okay. (11:58) So let's explain the math of that. (12:00) 1 out of 100 random people is top 1%.(12:05) When you said top 5%, that's 1 in 20. (12:07) That's way easier. (12:08) That's five times easier.(12:10) Take 20 random people, are you top 1? (12:14) That's, I think, the ante for picking your thing. (12:21) If you aren't at least top 20% in your thing without tons of mastery, it probably shouldn't be your thing.(12:31) It's called a natural inclination. (12:33) What do you think's the hardest? (12:35) Health, wealth, or love?(12:37) Love. (12:38) I think so too. (12:39) Yeah.(12:40) I think that's where I'm the highest though. (12:43) If you said, are you top 1% health? (12:45) I was like, I don't know.(12:46) Top 1% wealth? (12:47) I don't know. (12:48) You'd know better than I.(12:48) I don't know. (12:49) Love? (12:50) Yes.(12:51) You are top 1%. (12:51) If you put me... (12:52) Income, income, not network.(12:54) I don't know any, other than you and Amelia, I would feel comfortable in any room with any couple. (13:01) And I know that probably sounds arrogant, but I do a lot of work behind the scenes. (13:05) You're never worried about sounding arrogant in that arena.(13:07) I've noticed that. (13:09) I'm not making it wrong. (13:10) I think it's probably true.

Alan Lazaros

(13:11) I am afraid. (13:12) I think it's accurate.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:13) Without a question, and again, why even say this? (13:18) I mean, my relationship with Amelia, if there was a way to measure it, there are ways to measure it, John Gottman, all that. (13:30) It is maybe never existed.(13:33) You think it's fun? (13:34) It's beyond what I ever thought was even possible. (13:36) Is it far above health and wealth?(13:39) So that's the leader. (13:41) It's by far the best out of the other two. (13:43) Yeah, it's not close.(13:44) Like, let's say, yeah, isn't that interesting? (13:51) I think it makes sense. (13:52) I mean, you and me, let's say we put a thousand human beings in a room, random sample from the globe.(14:00) You and I are at the near the top in fitness, but definitely not the top. (14:05) Same with wealth. (14:06) We're near the top, but not the top.(14:08) With my relationship with Amelia, I'm at the top. (14:11) I'm at the top, for sure. (14:13) Why?(14:14) I don't know if I've ever consciously even acknowledged that. (14:17) I think about that all the time. (14:19) I think it's because I can see, I don't know, maybe that's not even a good indicator, but I like see relationships, I guess.(14:28) I just feel like it's honestly like, I don't know, going in the gym and getting in shape is just like you against you and circumstance. (14:37) So like, I don't think that's that hard comparatively. (14:41) I think it's all based on lens.(14:43) I think you've been looking at this. (14:45) Well, cause we talked about, you look, you, you see energy and you look at and feel energy, energy and vibe. (14:54) And then you, you had tells like when, when partners would disrespect each other.(14:58) Yeah, the second you see disrespect is done. (15:00) That's, that's game over. (15:02) I do.(15:03) Especially if you see it. (15:04) And I've been coaching couples for six years. (15:05) If I've known you for three hours and you're already disrespectful of your partner, what is the indication or what is happening behind the scenes?(15:12) I agree. (15:14) That was not on my radar before though. (15:16) But with wealth, I can tell you for sure.(15:18) Remember, like you could always tell when a couple would break up and I could always tell when someone was actually well, that's one of the things we should do an episode on at some point is how to Amelia wanted me to do a BGU business growth university episode on this. (15:37) She said, how do you know when you look at a company? (15:42) I just did an episode on this.(15:44) Who's the decision maker. (15:46) I can do that. (15:48) She worked for a big pharmaceutical company and I like broke down the whole company for her on the whiteboard.(15:53) And she's like, what? (15:56) And she wasn't that surprised cause she knows me. (15:58) But I was like, yeah, like this is, and she's like, I've never even walked in the place.(16:03) Yeah. (16:04) I just know this is how it works. (16:07) So I didn't understand relationships back then.(16:10) Now I do. (16:11) Cause I coach couples for six years and we have 58 relationship talks events. (16:15) I've learned the ins and outs of what to look for.(16:18) Now, back in the day, dude, I couldn't tell at all. (16:21) That's fair. (16:22) I had no idea like how bad some of those relationships of my friends, like, because people, my friends would come to me and say, what do you mean?(16:29) You guys have, you guys are so happy. (16:30) I'm like, I'm not, what the fuck are you talking about? (16:32) This is our relationships better than yours.(16:35) I mean, you guys broken up three times in the last month. (16:37) Right. (16:38) And they're engaged.(16:39) Right. (16:39) But it's all relative to your reference group. (16:42) So I think it all depends what lens you're looking from and what your awareness is.(16:49) My awareness in relationships has 10 X since doing the week, the business email and I have together of coaching couples. (16:57) I can tell very quickly now who's going to be successful and who's not. (17:02) You had that nine years ago, better than me.(17:06) If at which other thing I've learned a ton about working with so many people is all, nobody, almost nobody's as successful as they show. (17:15) Like almost nobody. (17:18) There's a few people who are more successful than they show.(17:21) But it's, but the percentage is that's, that's the opposite of what I thought it was. (17:26) Like I've worked with, this is the benefit. (17:28) The benefit is when you meet someone, they have their perception up, right?(17:37) They have their ego up a little bit. (17:38) They have their protector up a little bit. (17:39) They have their avatar up.(17:41) They don't have the real, they have their avatar up. (17:44) And then if you are ahead of them in something they value. (17:47) So for me, it would be podcasting.(17:48) When I get behind the scenes and I say, all right, like walk me through what's happening. (17:52) Like, what's the business doing? (17:53) They're like, oh, there's, there's no business.(17:54) I've never made any money. (17:55) It's like, so you were just totally faking everything you said. (17:58) Oh my goodness.(17:59) Okay. (18:01) In the beginning, I thought that was just like, okay, it's just this person. (18:04) It's this is extremely common.(18:07) Extremely. (18:07) So that has helped a ton. (18:09) The fitness thing.(18:10) I mean, all you have to really do is look at the statistics, I guess. (18:15) Well, this is belonging theory. (18:19) Right now, you have trouble with this because now we're doing different.(18:24) We're better doing better than we used to. (18:27) We're not better, but well, we are. (18:28) Yeah.(18:28) Okay. (18:29) We're doing better than we used to. (18:30) You don't want to ostracize the listeners who earn less money than we do.(18:38) Because in the beginning, we didn't earn any money. (18:40) So we attracted people who were also like, belonging theory states that you are amplifying and dimming based on whatever your peer group is at that time. (18:52) So if you're at a fitness show, you're going to amplify.(18:56) Yeah, I'm into fitness. (18:56) Yeah, I'm super into fitness. (18:59) And then when you, when you're around people who aren't into fitness, you're going to like play down, downplay.(19:04) Unconsciously, you're going to downplay that you're into fitness. (19:06) It's all wanting to fit in. (19:08) Human beings have an innate...(19:09) Emilia was the goat on this. (19:13) She studied Maslow's hierarchy of needs. (19:15) I've studied it.(19:16) There's a million freaking books on all this. (19:20) Millions over exaggerated, but there's thousands. (19:24) And Maslow's hierarchy was like the best to date on human psychology when it comes to food, water, shelter is the base of the pyramid.(19:34) Belonging. (19:35) She's like, belonging is the base. (19:37) The base is belonging.(19:38) She's absolutely right. (19:39) I study belonging theory. (19:41) If you've never done it, look it up, chat, GPT, Google, whatever.(19:43) Belonging theory. (19:46) Human beings will do anything to belong. (19:50) They'll, they'll join a certain religion.(19:52) They'll join a certain group. (19:54) They'll, they'll, that's why it's so scary who you spend time with. (20:00) If you spend time with Kevin and I, and you're listening to this podcast, you will start to believe what we believe.(20:08) You'll start to believe that you're capable of more. (20:10) You'll start to believe that growth is important. (20:13) You'll start to believe in the compound effect.(20:14) You'll start to believe in your bigger, better, brighter future. (20:17) You'll start, stop believing in delusion. (20:19) You'll start wanting accurate truth.(20:21) You'll start thinking more strategically. (20:23) Like you rub off on people, not always for the better. (20:26) I'm trying really hard to rub off on people for the better.(20:30) But belonging theory, that's why I'm very careful with who I spend time with. (20:36) Because belonging theory states that I have to, if I'm in a room with people that are struggling financially, it's very hard to celebrate that we had a $90,000 day. (20:45) Because you make them feel, you don't mean to, but you highlight their pain.(20:49) And I've tried really hard to stay authentic. (20:53) We had two new book club members show up to you this past week. (20:55) And I said, Alan, give them the disclaimer.(20:59) Like, listen, everyone in here knows each other. (21:01) We've been doing this for years. (21:03) Like you're new and that's awesome.(21:04) Welcome. (21:04) I'm glad you're here. (21:06) This, I'm going to be intense.(21:08) Nothing, I'm going to offend you on accident. (21:11) I'm not trying to offend you, but I'm going to. (21:14) I'm going to say things that are statistically accurate, that might be unkind or seem unkind.(21:20) Like I just give them the warnings because I'm not, I don't want to dim. (21:24) And you know, it's okay that you're overweight and just keep eating. (21:28) And it's all, no, that's not what we're here for.(21:30) I said, you are here to get better. (21:32) And if you're not leave, seriously. (21:35) Because all I care about is you reaching your full potential.(21:37) This book club is not for fun. (21:39) We can have fun, but it's not for fun. (21:41) This is to help you reach your fucking full potential.(21:44) If you don't like that, go start your own fucking book club. (21:47) Okay. (21:47) So the reason why I do that is because expectations are important because I don't want to start trying to belong with everybody and play nicey-nice at the expense of the fucking mission.(21:59) I'm going to need you to connect that to this. (22:07) I'm going to need you to connect that. (22:08) Uh, well, we were talking about how, I don't know.(22:11) It's weird talking about money. (22:12) Like, I don't, I don't know. (22:13) I don't ever want to sound arrogant when it comes to like, oh yeah, I'm in the top 1%.(22:16) I like, I just, I don't know. (22:18) I just don't ever want to be that guy. (22:19) Because I know if you say that and somebody takes it the wrong way, like that you just can't really help them.(22:25) So that's always a, and because I have been that. (22:28) Remember when I get rejected with my, uh, the, the girls I hit on at a party, the first thing I said was, you don't even know how much money I make. (22:36) So like, that was my, for a long time, that was my personality.(22:41) That was my significance. (22:43) That was my claim to fame. (22:44) Like, I don't want that to be my claim to fame.(22:47) I want to be a good person and everything else underneath that. (22:51) But I think obviously for this purposes, like you have to, you have to figure out what you value. (22:57) I value money.(22:58) I do. (22:59) I do. (23:00) This is the goals and conflicts thing though.(23:02) Yes. (23:02) Right. (23:03) So for everyone out there, you, clarity.(23:08) Yeah. (23:08) Like you were very clear back in the day on what mattered to you. (23:12) You wanted a hot girlfriend.(23:14) You wanted to be in shape. (23:15) You wanted a nice car and you wanted to make a lot of money. (23:17) Like, and you got all of that and realized that wasn't it.(23:20) So you have to have a lot of clarity on what you value. (23:25) And courage to admit it. (23:27) Like that's the other thing.(23:28) That's, I get nervous sometimes when I'm on other podcasts and I say that. (23:32) Like I do value money. (23:33) I probably value money more than the average person and or I just admit it.(23:37) I don't know. (23:38) But I was fucking broke. (23:41) Like I had, my family hit me up for money when I was working at a gas station.(23:45) I didn't, we didn't have much money. (23:48) Yeah. (23:48) It's interesting.(23:48) So like for me, that is the way out. (23:52) Making money is the way out of the life that I was so afraid to fall into. (23:56) And I'm convinced that if I, and again, this is, this is not accurate, but if I have enough money, then I'll be able to figure anything out.(24:02) Like obviously it helps, but you also have to have a set, a personal development set point and in all that. (24:09) But, and then to go even further, it's like, if you said, if you could only be top 1% health, wealth, or love, I wouldn't choose wealth. (24:16) If I could only have one, I wouldn't choose wealth.(24:19) That's interesting. (24:20) That's a good question. (24:21) I might've in the past though.(24:22) I don't know. (24:23) I would choose love for sure. (24:25) Isn't that ironic that we both have that?(24:28) It would be love first. (24:30) Ah, nope. (24:31) I would choose health.(24:32) I'd probably choose love. (24:33) Yeah. (24:33) I would choose health.(24:34) Yeah. (24:34) I would choose health. (24:35) Maybe.(24:35) I don't know because if I, everything's better if you're healthy. (24:40) I can't choose. (24:43) You have to choose.(24:44) That's the problem. (24:46) Can't fucking choose. (24:48) It wouldn't be wealth first though.(24:49) I'm certain it would be health or love. (24:51) Why? (24:54) I don't know.(24:55) Let me, I think we should do a part two on this. (24:58) Because we didn't really talk about it at all. (25:00) Goals and conflict.(25:01) Not a single word of it. (25:04) Well, this originated with a client who has a financial goal and a fitness goal. (25:10) Same.(25:11) And her fitness goal is to increase calories to build muscle mass. (25:16) And that's bad for her bank account because food is expensive. (25:20) The one good thing about- Food is more, you know, she has to eat 3000 calories a day.(25:24) The one good thing about dieting is like, I'm in 1600 right now. (25:29) You do spend less money when you're cutting. (25:32) That's for sure.(25:33) Dude, I was eating a lot of food.

Alan Lazaros

(25:35) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:35) Yeah. (25:36) It gets expensive. (25:37) Yeah.(25:37) It's expensive. (25:38) Yeah. (25:41) Health, wealth, and love.(25:42) Which one would you choose if you could only have one? (25:44) That's an important answer and question. (25:46) I think so.(25:46) You've got to know that. (25:47) I think it would be health. (25:49) But I can't imagine like- I know.(25:55) I know. (25:55) You know, it's like- But there's a lesson in that for everybody. (25:58) You don't have to.(25:59) That's the beauty. (26:00) Now, your life will be exponentially harder than everybody's around you and nobody will understand you and you'll have to sacrifice more things than anybody you've ever met in your entire life to even get a resemblance of success in this. (26:09) But- I think everyone gets- Everyone does very well at one.(26:15) You notice that? (26:15) I think fitness is the best foundation. (26:20) I do too.(26:20) I think fitness is the best foundation. (26:22) Shit, man. (26:22) And here's the thing.(26:24) Fitness is what changed my life so much. (26:28) Fitness is like- I think that's why I got back to it. (26:31) You guys always- Amy says it, you say it like you're a business coach.(26:35) I don't know if I give a shit. (26:37) Dude, I'm going to do fitness forever. (26:38) I love it.(26:39) Like- For context, I'm always like- I don't love every day. (26:41) Alan, get on your fucking social media and talk about business and the next thing, it's another fitness post. (26:45) No.(26:45) Okay. (26:46) You know it. (26:47) 23 days in a row, mile a day.(26:49) It's where I started this- I got my shit together with fitness. (26:58) It's the foundation. (26:59) I would never have become the man that attracted Emilia and built this relationship without that.(27:07) I think that has to be the foundation. (27:10) Maslow, I talked about earlier. (27:11) It's a hierarchy of needs.(27:13) I think it's health, then wealth, then love. (27:20) However, why do I say that? (27:22) If you don't feel well, you're not going to be a great partner.(27:25) And if you don't have money, one of the things partners fight about is money. (27:31) So, imagine if you're healthy and wealthy, it's not going to be nearly as challenging to build a great relationship. (27:39) And so, figure out for you what your syntax is.(27:44) I think I value love the most, but I think what's most important for me is health. (27:53) And then I think wealth is definitely third, even though it probably should be second. (27:57) I wonder if it's connected to what your- well, to your point.(28:00) Are you already in the top whatever percentage? (28:02) I think fitness for me- I'll say health, but fitness. (28:06) For me, it's way more about- for most of my life, it was just aesthetics, like how I looked.(28:11) It wasn't necessarily being healthy cardiovascularly or any of that sleeping. (28:18) It wasn't holistic health. (28:19) It was just looking jacked.(28:21) But that was- I mean, I've kind of always been in the top couple percent. (28:26) I feel that way about success. (28:27) Right?(28:27) So, it's like, of course, that one's going to be third. (28:30) I don't know. (28:30) It's weird, though, because by that rationale, fitness would be third for me.(28:34) Did you expect- why is love, you know? (28:39) Isn't that interesting? (28:39) The- I don't know.(28:40) Again, I would have to look at the study, but I was looking up various happiness studies today. (28:44) And the longest running one, for like 80 years, still suggests that meaningful relationships is the key to the- the highest predictor of happiness. (28:56) That- there's the belonging theory right there.(29:00) I- And don't quote me on that. (29:02) I do believe- if you have the- everyone think about when you had a terrible relationship. (29:09) I was so unhappy.(29:11) I was jacked, but I was using the gym as a coping mechanism because I was so unfulfilled. (29:18) And I loved fitness too, right? (29:19) It's not- but yeah, if nothing else, the only wrong answer is not to contemplate this.(29:27) You've got to figure out, number one, which one's most important to you and why? (29:31) Number two, which one are you winning at and which one is sucking? (29:37) And then, which one are you naturally good at is probably another good question.(29:42) And don't fall into the- the common mistake pattern of thinking getting world-class at one is going to fix the other ones. (29:50) Guys, it isn't. (29:52) When I got- when I was like, oh, I'm going to get in really good shape, all the women are going to- no, it was all dudes.(29:58) Hey man, you're jacked. (30:00) Thank you. (30:01) Well, what's- where's the- where are the- where are the women?(30:04) No, never happened. (30:05) Never happened. (30:06) So, that doesn't work.(30:09) All right, cool. (30:09) All right, if you're looking for- we'll talk about fitness because we've been talking about fitness. (30:13) If you're looking for accountability from two humans who do this every day, Alan does it every day, I take occasional off days, we have the Next Level Fitness Accountability Group.(30:21) It is all about keeping you accountable. (30:22) People are in there crushing it. (30:24) They have their own personal goals.(30:26) It's up to them, but there's a little bit of public accountability. (30:29) And it's a safe place. (30:29) We're not going to- nobody's bullying you.(30:31) Nobody's beating you up. (30:32) Just know that people are there getting after it. (30:35) Going to Alan's point about the reference group, there's a lot of high-performing individuals in there and it'll help you perform more highly.(30:43) Belonging theory states that the people you spend time with and think about, whether it's digitally or in person, is influencing your decision making. (30:52) If you want to make- show me your friends and I will show you your future. (30:57) I like that quote.(30:57) What was the one you said?

Alan Lazaros

(30:58) Oh, boy.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:59) We look like our parents. (31:01) Yeah, when you're young, you look like your parents. (31:02) As you get older, you look more like your habits.(31:06) Something like that. (31:08) When you're young, you look like your parents. (31:10) When you get older, you start looking more like your friends.(31:12) You can say that. (31:13) Habits are the same. (31:14) But your bank account, your love life, your standards for yourself and others, your, you know.(31:23) There's a person in my life who says, when you hang out with shit, you smell like shit. (31:28) I like that. (31:30) I do.(31:31) Because there's a few times in my life where I smelled like shit. (31:34) I was hanging out with shit. (31:36) So don't do that.(31:37) Join Next Level Communities. (31:38) Reach out to Kevin and myself. (31:40) Next Level Fitness Accountability Group.(31:43) As always, we love you. (31:44) We appreciate you. (31:45) Grateful for each and every one of you.(31:46) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we'll be here every single day to help you get there. (31:54) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (31:56) Next Level Nation.(31:58) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (32:02) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (32:04) We mean it when we say family.(32:06) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (32:09) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (32:13) Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.