Are You Gifted? (2397)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros break down why life gets harder when you misunderstand your gift. Too many people ignore what comes naturally to them and chase goals built around borrowed strengths. That disconnect leads to frustration, wasted energy, and results that never fully line up.

Drawing from their own journey and years of coaching, they unpack the difference between gift, developed skill, and self-awareness. This episode will help you think more clearly about where you have real leverage and how to build your future with more accuracy, discipline, and intention.

_______________________

Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

_______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(1:26) Are you gifted and how to tell
(4:31) What are you top 10% in
(6:20) When giftedness hides hard work
(10:44) Self-awareness before self-improvement
(11:52) Do not build on weakness
(17:01) Genetics matter so choose wisely
(19:31) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If you were to sit me down and say, Hey Kev, do you feel like you're gifted in any arena? (0:06) I don't think I would come up with an answer. (0:08) I do think when it comes to bodybuilding and muscle building and yeah, just bodybuilding in general, I think I'm probably above average in terms of my genetics and or capabilities, but I don't know if I would label that as gifted at all.

Alan Lazaros

(0:24) 100 random people in a room, random sample. (0:28) Are you in the top 10% even out of the gate? (0:32) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:35) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:36) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:39) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:46) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:52) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:08) Self-improvement in your pocket every day from anywhere completely free. (1:15) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:20) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2397. (1:26) Are you gifted? (1:27) And how do you know?(1:29) It's a great topic. (1:30) You wanted to do it. (1:31) It's a good topic.(1:32) I'm just going to kick it to you. (1:33) I had a moment last night. (1:35) And again, these are embarrassing moments because it's like, how fucking stupid could you be, Kevin, possibly?(1:41) But I was like, my back workouts have been just crazy. (1:46) So good. (1:48) And like six months ago, I hated back.(1:50) Hated doing back. (1:51) It was my least favorite day. (1:52) And I was like, what changed?(1:55) I just did them in a certain way for like a month and then I got good at it. (2:00) And then I got stronger and I was like, this is the best. (2:02) I love back.(2:03) It's amazing. (2:03) I can do all these crazy things. (2:05) It's awesome.(2:06) I think that's why maybe I'm gifted in that arena, where I tend to get good at what I do in the gym. (2:14) It's just a matter of me doing it for long enough and suffering through being really bad at it, quote unquote. (2:20) But that, I think that's probably like the only, outside of that, I don't think I really have any gifts, quote unquote.(2:28) But I think that's probably statistically above average, kind of my entire life.

Alan Lazaros

(2:32) What about the words? (2:33) I know you don't think you're gifted. (2:34) I'm not a rapper.(2:35) I'm not a rapper anymore. (2:36) So I hung up the microphone. (2:38) There's an inside joke, but he talked about it on another episode.(2:41) If there is any new listener, Kev no longer believes he's a rapper, quote unquote, because someone called him out or some shit. (2:49) I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:49) I put in a video for this competition and I was rated in the worst category. (2:55) So I'm not a rapper anymore. (2:56) And if you've ever heard me say I was, delete that from your imagination, please.

Alan Lazaros

(3:00) Dude, some random person put those reels together.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:04) No, this person's very talented. (3:05) I would say I am above average in taking words and making them fit in certain syllables and rhyme schemes, I would say.

Alan Lazaros

(3:16) Nice. (3:17) And you need more than one data point to determine whether or not you're a great or terrible rapper, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(3:23) Just one.

Alan Lazaros

(3:23) It's not a zero and a one. (3:24) It's a zero to 10 scale. (3:26) Okay.(3:26) So what does gifted mean? (3:29) We're all born with different potential. (3:33) And we can grow that potential.(3:37) Okay. (3:37) What was the book? (3:38) I think it was in Atomic Habits where they talked about if you took a long distance runner's physique and switched it with Michael Phelps's swimming physique, they would be like the worst at the Olympics in either category or whatever.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:49) I think so.

Alan Lazaros

(3:50) I think that there's that quote of talent beats hard work, but what happens, or no, hard work beats talent, but what happens when talent works hard? (4:02) And to open this discussion, I'm going to talk about the bell curve for a sec. (4:09) So a hundred random people in a room.(4:12) Random sample on earth. (4:16) You know those things where you pick the stuffed animal? (4:19) Yeah.(4:19) You pick randomly a hundred people, put them in a room. (4:22) Okay. (4:23) Men, women, the whole nine, just human beings.(4:26) So most likely it's around 50, 50 men and women, 51, 49, whatever. (4:29) Boom. (4:31) What are you already in the top 10% in right out of the gate?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:38) You're asking me? (4:39) Yeah. (4:39) Oh, this version of Kev?(4:45) Yes. (4:49) Speaking, fitness. (4:51) What was it?(4:52) Top 1% or 10%? (4:53) 10%. (4:55) Understanding of money, understanding of relationships.

Alan Lazaros

(4:58) Okay. (4:59) Okay. (4:59) Good.(4:59) Good. (5:00) I'm the fucking man in this room, baby. (5:02) Okay.(5:02) Now, now you're 18. (5:07) Oh God. (5:08) And it's all other 18 year olds.(5:10) So random sample of only 18 year olds, men, women, the whole nine. (5:14) What are you in the top 10% in?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:16) Probably fitness and that's probably it. (5:20) Okay. (5:21) Okay.(5:22) 15. (5:24) Fitness. (5:25) 12.(5:27) I was jacked when I was 12. (5:31) So maybe not.

Alan Lazaros

(5:32) Are you joking?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:33) No. (5:33) I was like, I'm telling you, I'm pretty jacked. (5:39) I would say a body composition problem, not fitness.(5:41) Cause I don't think I was exercising at 12, but fitness probably.

Alan Lazaros

(5:44) Well, what about, so the, there's something called multiple intelligences, the nine modalities of genius. (5:50) And one of them is kinesthetic. (5:52) Michael Jordan would be a good example of that.(5:54) Kinesthetic genius, where you're good at moving your body. (5:56) Dancers, you get it. (5:58) Athletes.(5:59) One of them is sort of the Einsteins, the math and that science, that kind of thing. (6:02) So without going through all the different types of genius or types of intelligences, in this case, it's called MI theory. (6:10) You can look this up.(6:10) MI theory, multiple intelligences theory. (6:12) There's a whole bunch of research on it. (6:14) I don't think it's fully accurate.(6:16) I think it's very sound though. (6:19) But Hey, who am I? (6:20) All right.(6:20) So one of the things that I think was really hard for me was in my thirties, I started to realize that I had a lot of them. (6:27) Um, and one of I'll keep this anonymous, but someone who I'm very close with came to me and said, you have so many skills and sub skills that are stacked that I don't think you understand how hard this is for me. (6:43) And I, from that moment to now, I've been realizing two sides of the coin.(6:51) When you call someone gifted it. (6:55) Yeah. (6:55) Awesome.(6:57) Cool. (6:58) But it takes away all the work I put in. (7:00) It's like, what do you mean?(7:02) I built this right. (7:06) And I was also gifted. (7:08) So, so I was on a podcast recently with a guy named art.(7:13) His name's art. (7:15) And he's very clearly gifted and he has no clue that he is. (7:19) And I could tell.(7:20) And the only reason I know is because I used to also talk like he was talking. (7:27) And executive ran a billion dollar company, all kinds of stuff. (7:31) Just, just an engineer, Tennessee tech, blah, blah, blah, blah.(7:33) Like he very clearly, he's like, yeah, I understand the whole global economy. (7:37) I'm like, Oh my goodness. (7:38) Great.(7:39) Awesome. (7:39) I know you do. (7:40) And so do I, by the way, but nobody cares and no one else does, but he has no idea.(7:45) Other people don't. (7:46) And so I said, have you ever, have you ever identified as gifted? (7:49) And he got really red.(7:51) And I was like, Oh, he hasn't faced the fact that. (7:55) So, so in speeches that I've done all over the world, I say all over the world in quotes because it's virtually, but I always ask things like, who's that person, you know, who just fucking wins at everything. (8:07) They're just good at everything.(8:09) You got one. (8:11) Yeah. (8:11) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:12) Begin with an M. (8:14) Either an M or an A. (8:16) If you want your name in there.

Alan Lazaros

(8:17) I'd rather not have. (8:18) Yes. (8:19) Okay.(8:19) Awesome. (8:19) Good at everything, right? (8:21) Would you consider him gifted?(8:25) For sure. (8:27) Dude puts minimal effort and wins every time.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:29) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(8:29) I know who you're talking about.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:30) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(8:31) Of course he's gifted.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:32) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(8:32) All right.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:33) I think my perspective on it has probably changed in time. (8:37) What do you mean? (8:40) Just on like being gifted.(8:43) I think it's just like changed.

Alan Lazaros

(8:45) I think it's like harder to recognize now. (8:47) He's on the higher end of almost every bell curve, right? (8:50) Yes.(8:50) Good looking, tall. (8:52) Smart. (8:53) Hardworking, conscientiousness, risk taking, all this stuff.(8:57) Athletics, right? (8:59) So these people win at everything and that's okay. (9:02) That's great.(9:03) Like I think this person is great. (9:04) That's great. (9:06) And they don't fucking know because they also, and I know who we're talking about, also felt bullied and fat and loser.(9:14) Like we all feel not gifted when we're young because we're kids. (9:21) And we don't understand. (9:22) And we're unconsciously comparing to the really gifted people.(9:26) And usually we're not comparing fairly because we don't think it's that valuable to be good at our thing because we're so good at it. (9:36) It comes naturally. (9:37) We don't think anything of it.(9:38) And so I'll give you an example. (9:39) I was really good at math. (9:40) Straight A's wasn't that hard.(9:43) But I was looking at the guy dunking the basketball who has my ex-girlfriend as his current girlfriend going, how do I be like this guy? (9:51) You know what I'm talking about? (9:52) Yeah.(9:53) And it's like, I'm fucked. (9:54) I can't compete with this fucking guy. (9:57) But he's not like, oh, I really wish I was better at math like Alan.(10:01) Back then that doesn't matter. (10:02) Now it definitely does. (10:04) But I think that's my point of this whole conversation is how do you identify if you are or aren't?(10:12) And if you're not, I think it's scary to identify if you are and in what areas. (10:18) No one's gifted in everything. (10:19) But some people are gifted in a lot.(10:21) Emilia, she came up for me. (10:23) The woman is amazing at everything. (10:25) It's unbelievable.(10:27) I love it. (10:27) It's great. (10:29) And some people are very frustrated with her and don't like her for no reason.(10:33) It's been very hard for me to witness how poorly she gets treated by other women. (10:39) It's been like alarmingly annoying for me. (10:42) Okay.(10:42) And how well she gets treated by other men. (10:44) Go figure. (10:44) But at the end of the day, all that matters in this episode is you getting to know yourself.(10:52) It's self-awareness, self-acceptance, then self-improvement. (10:55) If you're not gifted, you have to own it. (10:57) You have to own it and then work hard and make up for it.(11:01) If you are gifted, you also have to own it and have empathy and acceptance of that and then maximize it. (11:07) So to me, this art guy had a really hard time accepting that. (11:12) And in his defense, we were live on his podcast.(11:14) So he handled the banter very well, but he didn't accept it until the end. (11:19) And he said after the interview, he's like, I have to go think because you really rattled me with the gifted thing. (11:23) It's like, yeah, of course.(11:24) It's like, brother, not everyone wins at everything like you. (11:27) And you need to realize that. (11:28) And I understand it took a lot of hard work and conscientiousness too.(11:31) But you can do studies of conscientiousness, diligence, hard work, prudence, perfectionism, all these things. (11:38) I was on the high end, even at my worst. (11:41) So when you're seven years old and you're better than everyone at things, you don't get why you don't understand.(11:47) And so and not everyone, but other seven year olds, right? (11:52) At the end of the day, where are you great? (11:56) Do not design a life on something you blow at.(12:00) That is a fucking huge mistake.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:03) It's almost like you paddled really hard like you did. (12:07) You paddled really, really hard, but you were going, the current was going with you. (12:11) But you didn't mean you didn't paddle hard.(12:13) You didn't just go along for the ride. (12:15) But to the last episode, it's relative. (12:17) You don't know.(12:17) Well, it is relative. (12:18) Yeah. (12:18) Well, I said, how many times did I say that to you?(12:20) Like, brother, this is way easier for you than you think. (12:22) Like, compared to me, like, this is fucking terrible. (12:24) Just so you know.(12:25) I think back then, it's like, what did I say? (12:29) I don't, I think it took me a while to admit it. (12:31) So I don't know.(12:32) I think by the time we started talking about it, we were all kind of, we were kind of already aware of like how different we were. (12:37) It just seems so invalidating.

Alan Lazaros

(12:40) But on my end, on my end too, though. (12:43) But I feel that way in fitness. (12:44) Like, brother, I've put way more effort into fitness than you have.(12:48) You just wouldn't know it because you have way more results. (12:50) Like, yeah, yeah, I agree. (12:52) And you actually know that now.(12:53) You used to push back on that. (12:55) It's because it's like, well, I've been doing it for. (12:59) Yeah, but brother, like the amount of conscientiousness and intentionality.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:02) 20 something years.

Alan Lazaros

(13:03) Yeah, for me, it's 11 years, but I've condensed so much more intentionality. (13:07) And it's just like if you and I weight train together, that's your arena. (13:11) And I can hang through sure willpower.(13:14) And if we run together, it's going to be going to die. (13:16) Yeah, exactly. (13:17) And that's a metaphor for everybody listening.(13:21) That's what I hope everyone leaves with is like, where are you gifted and where are you not? (13:27) And how do you be candid with yourself so that you don't design a life that's not meant for you? (13:31) Even that is like, it's uncomfortable to admit.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:33) It's like, yeah, no, you're right. (13:34) Like you've worked. (13:35) I think it's hard to.(13:37) It's hard to admit somebody has worked harder for less than you, quote, unquote, for less, because it's your point. (13:43) Like, what does it mean about you? (13:44) It's like, well, I fucking waste.(13:45) I wasted this potential. (13:47) For sure. (13:47) By definition, right?(13:49) I know it. (13:50) And I don't know. (13:51) I don't know.(13:52) What would I do differently? (13:54) I would definitely like super jacked very quickly. (14:00) Yeah.(14:00) But like I was the guy going to the gym after high school. (14:04) See, I know. (14:05) Where everybody else was like doing whatever.(14:08) Like I was, I was doing the five by five program. (14:11) I was doing the pre-exhaust program.

Alan Lazaros

(14:13) I was validating.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:15) I was going to GNC. (14:17) I was a lot of people doing that too.

Alan Lazaros

(14:18) And I remember I lifted with a guy in college. (14:21) I'll keep it anonymous. (14:21) And him and I would lift together and he didn't change at all.(14:26) We ate the same things. (14:27) We worked out the same exercises and I was definitely putting in more effort. (14:31) But like my aesthetics came up very fast.(14:34) His genetics were terrible. (14:36) That's rough. (14:37) His genetics were bad.(14:39) Honestly, for fitness, for fitness. (14:40) Okay. (14:41) Don't hate me for that.(14:42) Don't take this clip out and, oh, genetic elitist. (14:45) No, like his genetics were not good for aesthetics and he knew it. (14:49) And so did I.(14:50) And just, just understand where you're gifted. (14:53) That's it. (14:54) And try to maximize it and try to build a career on gifts.(14:59) Don't build a career on a weakness that if there's one warning with this freaking episode, do not build your career on a fucking weakness.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:08) You know, the last thing I want to get out of here. (15:09) One of the things you hear so often about people is they'll see bodybuilders and like, well, they're on steroids. (15:13) It's like, yes, they are.(15:15) And they're also hyper responders because they have elite bodybuilding genetics. (15:19) There's a lot of people at your gym, you go to a gym. (15:23) There's a lot of people there that are on steroids that you can, you can't tell.(15:27) I can't tell. (15:27) You can't tell. (15:29) It's not because the steroids aren't good.(15:30) It's because they just don't have. (15:31) I mean, if you want to be the best bodybuilder in the world, you have eight elites. (15:36) One in a million genetics.(15:38) And you also respond incredibly well to drugs. (15:44) HGH and testosterone and all the others. (15:47) You're going to going to yesterday's episode.(15:49) You're also, it is way more of your, I know professional bodybuilders. (15:53) I've worked out with professional high-level bodybuilders. (15:57) When they go places, they have their food, they have their water, they have their supplements.(16:01) They always know when they're going to work out. (16:03) They reverse engineer everything based on their workout and their meal schedule. (16:06) That is their, their main focus.

Alan Lazaros

(16:08) Last thing. (16:09) I know we got to go. (16:09) Sure.(16:09) Sure. (16:10) Amelia, I've been working out with her for four years straight, more than that 4.1. And when we run, it is so obvious. (16:18) That's my gifting.(16:19) Like we did a 5k once and she's like, can you just go? (16:22) Cause I was running backwards. (16:23) Like I wanted to stay with her.(16:25) I thought it'd be cute. (16:26) She's like, just fucking go. (16:27) Not right now.(16:28) Not cute. (16:28) Exactly. (16:29) When we're in the gym today, she doesn't have to, she's so fucking strong.(16:35) It's so obvious that strength is her gifting. (16:39) Running isn't. (16:41) And it's so obvious that the opposite is true for me.(16:44) How does a five foot three woman lift as much as me when I've been working out for 11 years straight really intensely, but yet I can run backwards faster than her. (16:55) And again, it's a, it's a metaphor, not necessarily if she was sprinting or whatever, but you just got to understand gifting is a thing. (17:01) And I think people avoid it because it's so uncomfortable.(17:04) It's like, well, there's nothing I can do about it. (17:05) I don't care. (17:06) You can choose a different profession.(17:10) Like it is so stupid to deny that we are all genetically different. (17:15) Last, last, last thing. (17:15) I know I said that a bunch of times.(17:17) There's 350 recognized dog breeds. (17:19) They're all canine. (17:21) Homo sapiens and canine are species.(17:24) There's 350 recognized dog breeds. (17:27) There's great Danes and Dalmatians and Pomeranian Chihuahuas and Labradors retrievers. (17:33) And I don't know human beings.(17:35) There's all different ethnicities, all different cultures, all different backgrounds, all different heights, all different. (17:40) One of my clients is in South America and he is the tallest, not the tallest always, but he's, he went to the top of the height chart and, and genetics are a thing. (17:53) And I just feel like so many people either overly focus on genetics and say, well, it doesn't matter.(18:00) I'm not going to win anyway. (18:01) So they don't even try. (18:02) Or they're on the other extreme of genetics don't exist.(18:05) We're all equal. (18:06) And it's like, yes, we're all equal in spiritual intrinsic value. (18:12) None of us are equal in skills, development, brain, body, length, arm length, leg length.(18:19) I would love to race against you. (18:21) Your legs are tiny. (18:22) Like you see how all of this is fascinating.(18:25) And, and I just hope that someone took something of this and, and redesign their life based on their uniqueness, uniqueness, unique uniqueness. (18:33) I have sausage legs. (18:34) That's fine.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:35) Thick, don't be in the NBA. (18:37) There, uh, there's a gentleman by the name of Brian Shaw. (18:40) He is, uh, I'll let you guess what he does for a living.(18:42) He is six foot eight and weighs 420 pounds. (18:45) He's a strong man. (18:46) That's what he should be doing.

Alan Lazaros

(18:47) Do you think he and I have slightly different genetics?

Kevin Palmieri

(18:49) Slightly. (18:50) You think slightly? (18:51) What a giant.(18:52) Do you think I could achieve what he could achieve? (18:53) Absolutely not. (18:54) He could break you in half.(18:56) I'm offended that you think you could beat me in a fight. (18:58) Next time you, next time you see him, you can say it to him and see what happens.

Alan Lazaros

(19:01) Exactly. (19:02) It's just pick something.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:03) I think he's, I think he's 420. (19:04) He's six foot eight. (19:05) I think he's 420 pounds.(19:06) He's one of the largest humans. (19:08) He's not playing the same game. (19:09) No, he is quite literally not playing the same game.(19:12) That's extreme example. (19:13) But those, those are the realities. (19:15) Those are, yeah, yeah.(19:16) Well, all extreme examples are, uh, extended normal examples.

Alan Lazaros

(19:21) Nice. (19:22) Boom.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:22) All right. (19:22) If you're looking for a coach who can help you figure out what your gifting is and how to lean into it and how to reverse engineer a building of a life around it, Alan's your guy. (19:31) Reach out to Alan.(19:31) As always, we love you. (19:32) We appreciate you. (19:33) Grateful for each and every one of you.(19:34) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(19:40) Keep leveling up to reach your full unique potential. (19:44) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:45) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (19:49) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(19:52) We mean it when we say family. (19:54) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (19:57) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(20:01) Thank you again. (20:02) And we will talk to you tomorrow.