How Bad Is Being Naive Hurting You? (2404)

What if the biggest thing slowing your growth is the part of reality you still refuse to see?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan unpack how naivety distorts self-awareness, weakens decision-making, and quietly delays progress. They break down the difference between naivety, arrogance, and accurate thinking, and why honest assessment is a requirement for real success.

If your expectations are off, your strategy will be too. This episode is about seeing yourself, other people, and the world more clearly so you can make better moves, build stronger habits, and stop losing time to false assumptions. Hit play before your blind spots keep writing checks your results cannot cash.

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

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Show notes:
(3:33) Real life changes how you see people
(5:38) Bigger goals require greater awareness
(10:56) Arrogance versus naivety
(15:05) Why gifted people misread others
(17:49) Find your blind spots and take action
(19:56) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) There are certain things that you just cannot learn until you experience them. (0:05) And I think for a lot of us, we think things are gonna go a certain way. (0:09) And if we never get to that thing actually happening, you go through life being extremely naive because you've never actually experienced it.(0:18) So if you think, I don't know, if you think you're gonna do something and you're gonna do it incredibly well and you never actually go and do it, you're going to be naive in your abilities. (0:28) And I think that's one of the reasons action is so important and it humbles you, but it also builds belief and breaks down naivety. (0:35) It's a whole thing.

Alan Lazaros

(0:36) There's a big difference between being arrogant and being accurate. (0:40) There's also a big difference between being optimistic and being naive. (0:44) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:47) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:49) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:52) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:59) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:05) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:21) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:27) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:33) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,404. (1:38) How bad, how bad is being naive hurting you? (1:41) That's a weird sentence.(1:42) How bad is being naive hurting you? (1:44) That's what we're talking about today. (1:46) Why are we doing this?(1:48) Do we have a story for this?

Alan Lazaros

(1:51) Belief in something with zero evidence is either naive or arrogant.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:02) Naive or arrogant. (2:05) You think everybody starts off naive? (2:07) Yes, of course.(2:09) Absolutely, all children are naive. (2:11) Yeah, yeah, but I don't mean that. (2:12) I mean like, I don't know, when somebody is 18, when somebody's 18 and they have a very specific career goal in mind, they have to be naive, right?

Alan Lazaros

(2:27) I think not necessarily. (2:30) To something, it's gonna be different if everyone's naive to some extent, yeah, but there's a spectrum here, bell curve. (2:37) So, you didn't strike me as super naive, you struck me as pessimistic.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:42) I was naive too, though. (2:44) Ever, I want, I, yeah, no, I was definitely naive, I think. (2:47) In what?(2:51) The ways of the world. (2:58) I don't know, I don't know. (2:59) You have anything more specific?(3:00) No, no, just all of the ways. (3:02) Just the ways of thy world. (3:04) I don't know if I have a specific, I think, I don't know, maybe how good people were.(3:11) I thought, and again, I don't know, maybe I'm just fucking cynical now. (3:15) I thought like 98% of people were really good. (3:18) There was like 2% of shitheads.(3:19) I don't think that's the case, hey? (3:21) Not a fucking chance. (3:23) I don't think that's the case.(3:23) I thought people were way better than.

Alan Lazaros

(3:26) So, we were both naive about people.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:29) Yeah, but I think I just learned it faster. (3:31) How dare you? (3:32) I think I learned it.(3:33) You definitely did. (3:34) One of the things that broke my naivete, I used to work with black guys. (3:40) Dude, every time we went somewhere, people would treat them different than me.(3:45) And I was like, holy shit, like I'm watching racism in real time, and I've never seen this before. (3:51) Dude, it's like, oh my God, I don't fucking trust this person that's treating them differently. (3:56) Why is that happening?(3:57) That's fucking weird. (3:58) I know this person. (3:59) I've worked with this person for a long time.(4:00) This is a good person. (4:01) That for me, that immediately stripped naivete from me.

Alan Lazaros

(4:05) So again, you mentioned this in the opening, is experiences will rip the naive out from you, especially really bad experiences. (4:11) And I want to make this as clear as possible. (4:19) It's one of those weird things where the person who says they're naive actually probably isn't.(4:29) And I want to share this from two sides of the coin. (4:32) I was naive in hindsight, particularly about people. (4:38) But I don't think I was more naive than most people.(4:41) You know?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:42) Ah, I think you were.

Alan Lazaros

(4:45) Okay, okay. (4:46) How fucking dare you? (4:48) No, I'm kidding.(4:48) I know. (4:49) But real quick. (4:51) Think of, hold on.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:53) No, no, I have a reason.

Alan Lazaros

(4:54) Think of, I know. (4:55) Think of someone, this is good. (4:57) Think of someone who's more naive than me.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:02) Just about anything, everything? (5:05) Yeah, about people.

Alan Lazaros

(5:08) Okay. (5:09) There's a ton. (5:10) Yeah, yeah, okay.(5:10) There's a ton. (5:11) Got you. (5:12) I have a thesis.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:14) Are you good? (5:15) Yeah, I don't, I have a curtain on my door, on my office door, and it seemed, oh yeah, no, it's just, my wife's doing something in the kitchen, and there's like glistening lights hitting it, so it looks like it's catching fire. (5:29) But I'm good, I'll power it right through.(5:30) Don't even, I'm not even worried about that.

Alan Lazaros

(5:32) Don't even worry about it.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:33) That's probably not true.

Alan Lazaros

(5:35) No, no, no, it's not. (5:36) Don't be naive.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:37) Don't be naive, yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(5:38) So, yeah, I think thesis. (5:44) Yep, love thesis. (5:45) The level of your aspiration, ambition, the amount of naive that has to get ripped out from under you before you can achieve it is much greater.(5:58) So if you want level 10 achievements, you have to be level 10 aware, and you can't be naive. (6:09) You have to be level zero naive.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:11) Level zero naive.

Alan Lazaros

(6:13) Yeah, or closer to zero. (6:16) The people that you thought of that are more naive than me, I know this is a blanket statement, but I can almost guarantee they are less successful than me. (6:25) For sure.(6:26) And the reason why is because you can only reach a certain level of success by being aware of the vicissitudes of the world. (6:37) Say that word one more time? (6:38) Vicissitudes.(6:40) Yeah, so my childhood was extremely difficult. (6:46) And I think that it ripped a lot of the naive out from under me early. (6:51) But I always talk about being so naive.(6:55) I don't think I was statistically that naive. (6:57) I didn't think it was all gonna work out. (6:59) I didn't think, you know, no bad things happen.(7:02) Like I faced mortality when I was a kid. (7:04) My dad died. (7:05) So there's levels to naivete, and I do believe for our listeners, regardless of you and I just sitting here talking about ourselves here, I want them thinking about themselves.(7:17) If you are level 10 naive, you will only be level zero successful. (7:23) I know, I shouldn't have picked that number.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:25) It's just because you said only zero.

Alan Lazaros

(7:26) It's like, well, that's not at all. (7:30) But if you're level nine naive, you can only be level one successful. (7:37) If you're level eight naive, you can only be level two successful.(7:40) You and I have become successful to the extent that we stopped being naive, because naive people are manipulated.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:47) Definitely. (7:48) Two things. (7:49) I love when I see something and it says kills up to 99.9% of bacteria or whatever. (7:55) It's like, you just can't say 100. (7:57) Okay, I understand. (7:58) I understand you can't say 100 for legal purposes.(8:01) Okay, cool. (8:01) So you just bring it up to the highest number before you go to 100? (8:04) Okay.(8:04) That seemed like you were doing that when you said the zero percent. (8:06) That's part one. (8:07) Part two.(8:09) Do you think when you become less naive in one arena, it actually makes you more naive in others? (8:19) You know? (8:25) No.

Alan Lazaros

(8:26) But I'm open to your...

Kevin Palmieri

(8:28) I don't necessarily have a thesis on it, but I was just thinking like, if you, let's imagine you see, what's a good example? (8:39) You see... (8:40) Yeah, go ahead.

Alan Lazaros

(8:41) Good.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:42) I got nothing, so.

Alan Lazaros

(8:42) The racist thing that you said earlier, you probably now understand that sexism is more prevalent than you thought, too. (8:50) So I think naive... (8:51) Like, when naive gets ripped out from under you from experiencing something like that, I thought that was a good example, most likely you re...(8:59) At least this is what I do. (9:00) Maybe I'm projecting. (9:02) I reassess my entire existence from that new lens.(9:07) And so I'm like, oh, I bet you sexism is worse than I thought, too. (9:10) And I bet you... (9:11) So that's one of the reasons why it's so important to view life from both an optimistic and a pessimistic lens.(9:20) Because you can't understand the world if you're only optimistic or only pessimistic.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:26) Yeah, I don't know if I am. (9:27) You have to be very objective. (9:29) I don't have an example, necessarily.(9:30) I would just, it's like... (9:32) Okay, you had a rough childhood, stripped naivete. (9:37) Did that create naivete in another arena?(9:39) Of like, well, now I'm naive to how much people can change. (9:46) I don't know if that would happen.

Alan Lazaros

(9:49) As a result of... (9:50) I think you could be naive to how good some people have it.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:56) So the opposite. (9:59) Just like there are some people that are naive to how bad some people have it. (10:02) Yes.(10:02) For sure. (10:03) 100%, right? (10:05) Okay, interesting.(10:08) Okay, go ahead. (10:09) The point of this whole thing is accurate thinking. (10:13) That's what we're aiming for here.(10:14) I think so. (10:15) Accurate thinking.

Alan Lazaros

(10:16) I just want to make sure we don't lose the... (10:17) You never answered my original question. (10:18) What's the difference between arrogant...(10:20) Don't be sorry. (10:20) This is great. (10:22) Someone told me I interrupt you often.(10:25) And I said, yeah, I know. (10:27) Because this is a healthy debate.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:28) Yeah, yeah, this is how we get the goods. (10:30) So far beyond... (10:32) That's helped me tremendously being...(10:34) Alan has given me the permission so many times. (10:36) Like, dude, just fucking interrupt me.

Alan Lazaros

(10:37) 100%.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:38) I'm never going to be offended by it. (10:39) I'm not offended by it either. (10:41) So that's why I...(10:41) Have I ever been? (10:43) No. (10:44) Nice.

Alan Lazaros

(10:47) So, my question for you. (10:49) You didn't answer my original question. (10:50) Yes, yes.(10:50) Which is why I interrupted you. (10:52) Yep. (10:53) What's the difference between being arrogant and being naive?

Kevin Palmieri

(10:56) I think arrogant has a side of toxicity. (11:00) And naive, honestly. (11:02) Naive statistically and historically has a side of cuteness.(11:08) That. (11:08) Yeah, that.

Alan Lazaros

(11:10) I wouldn't say that's the only distinction.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:12) But yeah. (11:13) That's the only one. (11:13) You could fucking lock that.(11:15) That is a lock. (11:15) What I just said, that is a lock. (11:18) But then again, I think that's probably because most of the people...(11:23) Good. (11:23) Most of the people that I didn't like, I would label as arrogant. (11:27) Most of the people I did like, I would label as naive.(11:30) That's probably as simple as... (11:31) No, but I also think it's probably accurate, right? (11:34) I don't know.(11:34) I think they're probably the same thing. (11:36) To a degree, right?

Alan Lazaros

(11:37) Like arrogance? (11:39) No, because arrogance is you think you're better than you are. (11:44) Naive is you think the world is better than it is.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:47) Is that what it is? (11:49) I think so. (11:51) Leave it up to NLEU to not know the definition of something before we fucking do it.

Alan Lazaros

(11:54) Arrogant is you think you're better than you really are. (11:57) That's why I said at the opening, if you noticed, Kev, there's a big difference between being accurate and being arrogant.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:05) Naive describes a person, action, or belief lacking worldly experience, wisdom, or judgment, often resulting in childlike innocence, a simple trusting nature, or gullibility. (12:16) That, okay, naive is gullible.

Alan Lazaros

(12:19) Naive is about, you are naive about the vicissitudes of the world. (12:24) You can use the word- Arrogant is you think you're better than you are.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:26) You can use the word as much as you want.

Alan Lazaros

(12:28) I still don't know what the fuck it means. (12:29) Vicissitudes. (12:30) It means the trials and tribulations of life, kinda.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:33) Arrogant, having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities. (12:37) Love it. (12:38) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(12:40) So arrogant is you think you're better than you are. (12:44) Naive is you think the world is more safe than it really is.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:51) Yeah, but aren't most people naive to how safe the world actually is? (12:56) That's a great point. (12:57) Statistically speaking, it is the safest it's ever been, right?(13:00) By far. (13:01) It's not close.

Alan Lazaros

(13:01) That's the fucking- Not even close. (13:03) But, I mean, what is it? (13:06) One in three women have some experience with sexual assault.(13:10) It's not just because it's safer than it's ever been doesn't mean it's fucking safe. (13:14) Great point. (13:14) Great point.(13:15) Great point, so. (13:17) Jesus, what's the point of this episode? (13:20) To not be fucking naive.(13:21) I know, but how do we- That's what it is, 100%.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:23) How do we give a takeaway?

Alan Lazaros

(13:25) If you think you can start a successful business easily, you are naive. (13:30) Or arrogant. (13:32) Or arrogant, yeah.(13:34) It may not, okay. (13:35) It depends. (13:35) You're either naive to how easy it is out there in the world, or you think you're better than you really are, or you happen to be a fucking guru.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:42) Why do you think it would be easy? (13:43) That. (13:44) Well, because I'm so fucking, I just hop on the mic and I make magic, baby.(13:48) Okay, you're arrogant. (13:50) Or- Not to mention no one cares. (13:52) Everybody loves personal development.(13:54) Who wouldn't want to listen to a podcast every single day for the rest of their life about self-improvement? (13:59) How dare you?

Alan Lazaros

(13:59) That's naive to say.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:01) Somewhat poking fun at me, right? (14:02) No, no, no. (14:03) No, no, it's okay.(14:04) No, no, I'm genuinely not, I'm genuinely. (14:06) I'm just using this as an example. (14:08) Could you have picked another example?

Alan Lazaros

(14:10) No, because this is all I know. (14:11) I did. (14:12) This is the problem too.(14:14) I fell in love with personal development, self-improvement, and personal growth so much. (14:19) And for me, that was such a W. (14:22) But I was naive to how many other skills I had stacked already.(14:29) Like, and that's one of the things too, is if you're naive about one of the three, so yourself, others, and the world, whichever one you're naive about, I wasn't, that's it. (14:39) I wasn't naive about the world. (14:41) I knew the world was, I wasn't surprised by the big short and bankers are corrupt and credit card interest rates.(14:48) None of that has ever surprised me. (14:50) You're the one like, oh my God, this is like, I'm not gonna pay this credit card off until I was 87. (14:55) And I'm like, dude, of course.(14:58) But then when it comes to other people, you're like, brother, of course. (15:01) It's because, and this is something that I never thought I'd say out loud. (15:05) If you're gifted, you are naive because you have no fucking clue what it's like to not be able to change your behavior.(15:14) That's just an example for me. (15:16) Like, if I change my behavior quickly and easily, and I have no clue what it's like not to be me, I am sitting there like, why? (15:27) Like, you said you were gonna exercise.(15:30) Like, why don't you exercise? (15:34) I've had to learn over time through coaching how naive I was to my own abilities. (15:43) And some people are the opposite.(15:45) They don't really see, they don't know how good some people are at certain things until they speak next to a really strong speaker and they go, oh, oh. (15:56) So naivete needs to go if you wanna be successful because you cannot think accurately if you're arrogant and naive, or arrogant or naive. (16:04) That's my thesis.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:06) I agree, 100%. (16:07) But I think the only way, this is why I'm okay with potential delusion starting something, because in the beginning, if you're naive, you go try it and you learn. (16:18) If you are arrogant, you go try it and hopefully you learn.(16:22) And it gets you across the start line.

Alan Lazaros

(16:25) I'm not saying that it's gonna get you to the finish line, but if you're arrogant, you might not ever learn because arrogance is usually built as a protector to protect yourself from the truth that you're actually not that great. (16:37) So if they give a speech and bomb it, their story to themself must be, oh, wrong audience. (16:43) And maybe that's true.(16:45) But after 50 times, you better start coming to a different conclusion. (16:49) Wrong audience 50 times, maybe it's you, right? (16:53) So, but the opposite is true.(16:55) No matter how many times you speak, even if it is the wrong audience, you're like, oh, it must be me. (17:01) It must be me. (17:02) Even though it was, you're teaching basketball to fishermen or something, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:07) Stupid metaphor, but no, it's okay. (17:10) I think naivete is one of the most dangerous things for success because, same, it's, you're so far off. (17:20) I know.(17:21) In what this would take for you, you're so far off. (17:23) I'm not saying you couldn't do it. (17:25) I'm not saying that.(17:26) I'm not saying it's not possible. (17:27) But with your current understanding and your current belief system, you are, you're missing nine years. (17:34) You think this is gonna happen in a year?(17:35) This is a 10-year endeavor. (17:41) That, man. (17:42) Okay, we gotta go.(17:44) 60-second takeaway. (17:45) 30 seconds from each of us. (17:46) What is the takeaway for you?

Alan Lazaros

(17:49) Figure out which one you are. (17:50) Are you naive about people? (17:53) The world?(17:55) Or are you naive about yourself? (17:57) And if you're none of those, then you might be arrogant. (18:00) So, identify any level of arrogance, any level of naivete, and go to work on it because there's no question that that's part of the bottleneck in your life.(18:10) What are you naive about? (18:12) People's belief in themselves, for sure. (18:14) What am I naive about?

Kevin Palmieri

(18:16) The world?

Alan Lazaros

(18:17) Yeah, absolutely. (18:19) Yeah? (18:19) Yeah, you just don't know finance and math well enough to know what's possible.(18:24) Is that naive, or is that just lack of awareness? (18:27) It's naive. (18:28) It's not childlike.(18:29) It is a little bit. (18:30) It's cutesy. (18:31) You should understand how banking works and how investments work and the compound effect and all that stuff.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:37) I was mind-blown when I found out Wells Fargo just took out hundreds of thousands of accounts and people's names without telling them. (18:43) Like, how the fuck did that happen? (18:45) You thought that was gonna fly under the radar?(18:48) What are we doing here? (18:50) What a terrible idea. (18:52) Jeez.(18:53) My takeaway is action is the cure to everything. (18:56) No, action is a potential medicine to everything. (18:59) It's not the cure.(19:01) It's a medicine that can help. (19:04) Nice. (19:04) Accuracy makes you more accurate.

Alan Lazaros

(19:07) Action? (19:08) Wait, what did I just say? (19:10) Accuracy makes you more accurate?(19:11) No, no, no, hold on. (19:12) That is what you said. (19:12) Action makes you more accurate.(19:15) Nice. (19:16) Yeah. (19:17) This is not one of our better episodes.(19:19) I actually think it is. (19:20) I think so, I'm just teasing. (19:21) Action makes you more accurate if you contemplate accurately.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:25) Accuracy makes you more accurate if you're accurately, accurately, accuratizations. (19:31) All right, if you wanna be more accurate and you wanna make sure you're not naive and you're not arrogant, you won't last very long with Alan's coaching if you're arrogant, because it's just not gonna be a fun time for either of you, reach out to Alan for coaching. (19:42) If you're looking for a group of awesome people who are working on this type of shit all the time and willing to look in the mirror, right?(19:47) I literally just asked Alan live, what am I naive about? (19:50) He would ask me the same thing. (19:52) Next Level Nation, a group of amazing people trying to get to the next level just like you.(19:56) As always, we love you, we appreciate you. (19:58) Grateful for each and every one of you. (19:59) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(20:05) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.

Alan Lazaros

(20:08) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:10) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (20:14) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(20:16) We mean it when we say family. (20:18) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (20:22) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:25) Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.