Stop Looking For The Negative (2406)

In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan break down a mistake that quietly holds a lot of people back. Not all self-honesty leads to growth. Sometimes the feedback you give yourself feels disciplined, but it is actually damaging your confidence and making progress harder. This episode explores the difference between healthy self-awareness and destructive self-judgment, and why lasting improvement depends on knowing when to challenge yourself and when to strengthen your foundation first.

It is a grounded conversation about self-belief, performance, and long-term consistency, with practical insight for anyone trying to grow without losing themselves in the process. Listen before your inner critic starts calling poor timing a personality trait.

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Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(1:38) Stop comparing from a deficit
(6:11) When harsh feedback actually helps
(10:34) Failure should not damage identity
(18:50) Early growth needs wins first
(22:04) Accuracy beats ego
(33:53) Keep yourself at five
(35:43) Prove yourself wrong or right
(43:57) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I think so many people are convinced that they have to look at their failures before their successes. (0:09) And I think if you really want to be a high performer, I do think that is the way. (0:14) And you have to do it in accordance with your self-belief.(0:18) If you have a level two self-belief, you have to look at the W's before you look at the L's. (0:24) If you look at the L's, you are going to be fucking miserable and you're going to hate your life and you're not going to I often say you got to look at where you are inadequate because that's what needs to fucking change. (0:39) Kevin and I are going to debate about that today.(0:41) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:44) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:46) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:49) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. (0:56) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (1:02) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.(1:18) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:25) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:30) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2,406, stop looking for the negative.(1:38) I had a client I was chatting with the other day, and this is a client I've known for a long time and we have really good conversations and it's just, it's very honest and I appreciate that. (1:50) And they said, you know, I'm not telling you something you've never heard before that people tend to respect Alan more than you. (1:58) And I said, you think I care?(1:59) You think I care about that? (2:01) I don't care about that at all. (2:02) And they're like, why not?(2:04) And I said, because I think I'd rather be liked than respected. (2:08) I don't know. (2:09) What do you want me to tell you?(2:10) That's my answer. (2:12) That's my truth. (2:12) By the way, some people hate Alan more than you.(2:15) That's true. (2:16) That's definitely true. (2:17) Probably the majority.(2:18) Dislike me more. (2:19) But it goes both ways, right? (2:20) It goes both ways.(2:21) And I said, and here's the other thing. (2:23) Okay, they still respect me more than almost anybody else. (2:28) So why do we have to compare it to, well, it's less than this person?(2:32) Why can't we say, well, it's more than most other people, statistically? (2:35) Why are we looking at the fucking negative? (2:38) Real quick.(2:38) Yeah, please. (2:39) This comes back to the thing you said about you don't mind being number two. (2:43) A lot of people, and again, you said, I don't mind being Scottie Pippen.(2:50) And again, I know that's a weird metaphor because I'm Michael Jordan, quote unquote, in this metaphor. (2:55) But you have a thing with that. (2:58) That is not normal.(3:01) I'm not making it wrong. (3:02) I think it makes no sense to get silver when you didn't believe in yourself and to be upset that you didn't get gold. (3:13) But they've done research and these Olympic athletes that get silver are more upset than bronze because they were that much closer to gold.(3:21) That doesn't resonate with me at all. (3:22) That's dumb as shit. (3:23) And that's why I'm saying it's unique to you.(3:24) And we're going to have a good discord here. (3:27) It's part of our conditioning and our culture. (3:31) If you're not first, you're last.(3:33) And it's a funny joke. (3:35) What do you mean? (3:35) There's second, third, fourth?(3:37) Fuck, you can even be fifth. (3:38) It's a funny thing because I have always been aiming at the best in whatever it is I'm doing and simultaneously knowing it's a ladder and knowing that I won't be in certain things. (3:59) And in other things, I'm going to go for it forever.(4:01) I think that there's conditioning around that though. (4:04) I'm not upset I wasn't valedictorian. (4:07) I actually used to kind of brag about it.(4:09) It's like, I don't want to be valedictorian. (4:12) I'd much rather just be, you know, fourth, fifth, sixth, or seventh with one half the effort. (4:19) And again, I realize now I should have maxed out.(4:22) I want to make that clear. (4:23) I do regret that. (4:24) I rested on talent.(4:25) I probably could have been valedictorian. (4:27) I probably should have gone for it even if I didn't get it. (4:29) That is my truth because I want to reach my full potential.(4:31) And I do think fulfillment comes from that for people who have high self-belief. (4:34) But I digress. (4:35) Go ahead, Kevin.(4:36) So I said, Alan and I have several of the same clients. (4:42) So I work with them on the podcast front. (4:43) Alan works with them on the business front.(4:44) It's the best. (4:45) It's awesome. (4:46) It's a great little thing we have going on here.(4:48) And I said, this client probably respects Alan. (4:52) I think he respects Alan in a different way than me. (4:54) I don't know if it's more, it's different.(4:56) If we had to measure it, would it be more? (4:58) Probably, but it's different. (5:00) And I said, I can show you.(5:02) This client sent me a text message. (5:04) Somebody messaged them and said, hey, that person you have doing your social media, the person on camera is like really good. (5:12) He makes you feel like you're talking directly to him.(5:15) And this client messaged back. (5:16) He said, dude, he's a hundred times better than anybody else we've ever had. (5:19) And he's fucking jacked.(5:21) This kid is the best. (5:22) And I told this client that. (5:24) And they said, aren't you frustrated?(5:27) Don't you feel disrespected? (5:28) He called you a kid. (5:29) And I was like, that's what you took away from that.(5:32) That's what you did that. (5:33) He's saying the kindest things about me behind my back. (5:36) No, I don't care that he called me a kid.(5:38) He's older than me. (5:39) And I could care like, like, why is that what we're picking out? (5:42) You have diluted yourself into thinking you have to find the fault in negative and anything in your self-belief is not fucking high enough to do that.(5:50) Yeah. (5:50) My self-belief is high enough to do that in certain things. (5:54) Somebody messaged me today and said, Hey man, you're looking like, what did they say?(5:58) Peeled or something? (5:59) It's like, no, I'm not. (6:00) I can barely see my fucking apps.(6:02) Thank you. (6:03) But no, I have, I have 10 pounds to go for sure. (6:07) Yeah.(6:07) I'm not even close, but thank you. (6:11) When I don't do a great job speaking, I rip myself apart behind the scenes, but I've done that thousands of times. (6:18) I have a very high level of self-belief.(6:20) There are certain places where I wouldn't do that. (6:23) I wouldn't rip myself apart. (6:24) I would start with the wins.(6:25) Well, so this is it. (6:28) If you have level one self-belief, you need to look at 90% of the good, 10% of the inadequacies. (6:35) Love it.(6:37) Two self-belief, 80, 20, 80%, 20%. (6:41) Three is 70, 30. (6:43) So here's the thing though.(6:44) You have to be honest with yourself about your level of self-belief, which is really hard because you don't actually know. (6:50) I don't think you actually know because you don't have anything to compare it to. (6:58) When you look, okay, when you look at, what's the worst speech you've ever done?(7:08) The training, for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(7:11) For sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:12) It's not even close, without a doubt, by far the worst. (7:15) When you look, not now, how did it affect you when you got through with it and you reflected on it? (7:22) I can't even ask without laughing.(7:24) God, that was a shit show. (7:26) Jesus Christ. (7:29) Oh my God.(7:30) I have secondhand anxiety for past Kevin who was standing there. (7:35) It was definitely, I would call it a tough moment. (7:39) It didn't shake you though?(7:40) Shake your belief? (7:42) Long-term? (7:45) Walk me through.(7:45) The moment you and I finished and we were walking out in defeat, what was that like? (7:50) Walk through the crowd.

Alan Lazaros

(7:51) That was brutal. (7:51) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:51) For me, it was like, we got to get the fuck out of here. (7:54) We got to go. (7:55) It's time to go, buddy.(7:56) Yeah. (7:56) No, I couldn't wait to unpack what the fuck just happened. (8:00) What was that about?(8:01) I knew there was something in it for us and particularly, I was more excited about the distinction of the seventh and eighth graders, ninth and 10th, and 11th and 12th. (8:10) I actually think we did fairly well with those three speeches and I wanted to unpack what the fuck happened there. (8:17) We realized that the third one, we got introduced by one of the kids.(8:22) That would be very different now. (8:24) I would not allow any of that. (8:26) Hey, how tall are you?(8:27) Just sit down, listen to the speech. (8:32) It was a tough moment. (8:34) I was immediately ready to contemplate it with you in the car.(8:37) Compare that to another tough moment. (8:41) If you can. (8:42) What do you mean?(8:42) One on a similar Richter scale. (8:49) Losing the fitness show. (8:51) That was a tough one.(8:52) Really bad. (8:53) That was one of the worst, for sure. (8:55) Because I really did think I'd do better than that.(8:58) I thought I could win. (8:59) Did it shake your long-term belief? (9:02) Not at all.(9:03) I think that's the breakthrough. (9:07) It shook me because my girlfriend at the time, I felt like she was going to shit on me. (9:15) Because a lot of people, when you are very confident, some people enjoy popping your bubble and then some people do it because they want to see you succeed.(9:32) You tried to pop my bubble, kindly, you and Matt, and you guys couldn't, so you're like, fuck it. (9:38) He's just going to have to learn on his own. (9:40) This person that I was dating, I think, wanted to see me fail.(9:45) I never told you this. (9:46) I went to get coffee with her that day, and she's like, I'm so excited. (9:50) This is going to be the last show.(9:52) No, no, no. (9:54) This is going to be the last show. (9:57) She's like, it's going to be done after this.(9:59) No, definitely not. (10:00) Not a chance. (10:02) There's no chance.(10:04) It did end up being the last show. (10:05) Was it the last show? (10:06) But not for the reason she thought.(10:07) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (10:08) But maybe, I don't know, was it that one or a different one? (10:11) It might have been a different one.(10:12) But honestly, brother, was it the one that I won? (10:15) Because that definitely wasn't the last show. (10:17) I don't remember.(10:18) I just remember thinking, no chance. (10:21) Oh, no, you're wrong. (10:21) You're wrong about this.(10:22) I know you think the grass is greener after this. (10:25) It's grass is brown the whole way.

Alan Lazaros

(10:27) It's not going to change, but this is it.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:28) You think he's going to dial it down after this? (10:30) Yeah, this is it. (10:31) Yeah, actually, it's going to get worse.(10:34) My thesis, though, is it didn't affect your long-term belief. (10:38) No, not at all. (10:39) That is something.(10:40) Neither one of them did. (10:42) I needed to understand what the hell just happened, though. (10:44) Because I knew I'm not a bad speaker.(10:47) You know what I mean? (10:48) Like, just because I bombed a speech doesn't mean, oh, I must be a terrible communicator. (10:53) No.(10:53) Okay, question, question. (10:55) Have you ever given yourself harsh feedback and then after said, ah, shit, that like damaged me? (11:03) No, of course not.(11:06) Have you ever seen somebody else do it to themselves? (11:09) No, I don't know even what you're talking about. (11:12) Jesus.(11:14) I will use the pre-marathon moment. (11:16) Because for me, when I did that marathon, the night before, my knee, my groin hurt. (11:23) And I was sitting with, and I was like vulnerable.(11:28) Like, I don't even want to see, I don't even want Emilia to see me like this. (11:31) Like, she was in the house and she knew this was reckless. (11:34) She knew I didn't train.(11:36) She knew I had, you know, to weigh in. (11:38) And we're going to do a marathon tomorrow on a track in a 95 degree weather day in the hot sun. (11:43) It was like, it was really reckless.(11:45) And then again, whatever. (11:47) Like, it wasn't that bad. (11:48) It's all good, right?(11:49) People have done worse.

Alan Lazaros

(11:50) For sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:50) But my point is, the night before I had the, I don't think I can do this. (11:59) That never happens. (12:01) Almost never for me.(12:03) I think that's the best example. (12:06) And I meant it too. (12:08) Like, I actually don't know if I can physically do this.(12:12) And it's so foreign to me that it's like, what the fuck? (12:16) It's not that hard now. (12:17) You just run for an extended period of time.(12:19) Like, it's not going to be a big deal. (12:21) Now, I know that that will come off wrong to someone who struggles with self-belief. (12:25) It's not like I had just started exercising.(12:28) I exercised every day for a fucking year at that point. (12:31) Like, I was working out. (12:33) I was healthy.(12:34) I'm young. (12:36) It's not like I'm doing a marathon on a whim at 87 without training. (12:40) So I calculated the probability of statistical success like I always do.(12:45) And I miscalculated, for sure, because I did it dehydrated. (12:49) But between you and me, I need to say this because I gotta step into who the fuck I am. (12:53) If I did it hydrated, I would have been okay.(12:56) I tried to do it without any water. (12:58) I think we should reframe it any way of like, I don't think it's a bad thing. (13:05) If you're out there and you don't have a ton of self-belief, I think this is a good example of what it looks like on the other side.(13:09) I don't think it's a bad thing. (13:11) You just do things that seem really reckless to other people. (13:15) When in reality, okay, I've been running a mile every day for 40 days.(13:21) And my miletimes aren't crazy. (13:22) But I could do a half marathon tomorrow, for sure. (13:24) I'm certain.(13:25) And I could prove it. (13:26) Now, other people, oh, fucking prove it. (13:28) But brother, I don't, listen, I'm not going to do it.(13:31) I've done a half marathon before. (13:33) The half marathon was pretty easy. (13:36) And the marathon was really hard.(13:38) And I tried to do it dehydrated to make weight. (13:41) So I wouldn't miss a podcast episode for the 10 pound and 10 week challenge four years ago. (13:45) And, but the point, and I'm in better shape now than I was then for sure.(13:48) The point is though, is like back to self-belief. (13:54) We did Next Level Live and it was level one, level two, level three. (13:58) It started out with Amy with very low intensity.(14:00) Amy, I know you're listening. (14:01) Low intensity, in my opinion. (14:04) Slow start, got into it, flow, you dialed up the intensity.(14:08) I dialed the intensity to 12. (14:10) And I honestly don't think it was 12, but I think other people might have. (14:13) I dialed the intensity all the way up because, and I said this, I said, just for this hour, I want to pretend like you're all trying to go for Olympic gold medal.(14:25) Because here's the thing, these fucking principles, you're not going to learn if you don't have a goal like that. (14:31) So, but they're beneficial. (14:33) Even if you don't, so even if you have level two self-belief, just bear with me for a second.(14:37) Even if you have level two goals, that's fine. (14:39) I'm going to presuppose just for this hour that I'm going to care more about your future than your feelings. (14:44) And I'm going to pretend you're a Michael Phelps, Tom Brady, Serena Williams, like these types of people, just for now.(14:52) Okay. (14:52) And I said, I don't even care if you like those people. (14:54) I don't care if you hate them or not.(14:56) The principles matter. (14:57) And so I dialed up the intensity as if I was talking to Olympic athletes. (15:03) And the reason why that matters is I actually do think if you have high self-belief and you want to be an Olympic gold medalist, you have to look at every inadequacy every day.(15:13) You have to. (15:14) The show that I won, I was looking in the mirror every day at every inadequacy I have. (15:21) There was nothing taken for granted.(15:23) Every grain of rice, every calorie, every macro, every weigh-in, every pose was dialed. (15:30) That's why I won. (15:31) I made, I looked at, and I wasn't fulfilled.(15:35) That wasn't fulfilling. (15:37) I mean, it was to win and to achieve that dream. (15:39) But it was very intense and it was a lot of pressure.(15:43) And my mental health was not great. (15:44) I was scarce. (15:46) But I won.(15:47) And that's what it takes to win the whole fucking show. (15:52) And I wasn't even close. (15:53) I stomped the whole show.(15:54) That's great. (15:55) And then the next time I tried to do it kind of whammy-bamby and just show up. (16:00) And I got fourth place.(16:02) Congratulations, right? (16:03) I think only seven people competed or something in my class. (16:06) In my class.(16:07) So at the end of the day, that's the metaphor. (16:09) If you want to win, you have to look at everything you suck at every single day. (16:14) And you have to work on it every single day.(16:16) I disagree. (16:17) Talk to me. (16:18) If you want to do the same shit.(16:20) If you wanted to, yeah, but I don't think it was great for me the way I did it. (16:24) You wouldn't have won otherwise. (16:25) I disagree.(16:26) Dude, I had 10 out of 10 self-belief in fitness. (16:29) I was the most in shape out of anybody I knew. (16:31) Well, then you should have been fine with looking at every inadequacy.(16:34) I was there. (16:36) But that's what I'm saying is this doesn't carry over from one place to the other necessarily. (16:42) Right now, if somebody said, hey, like just take off your shirt and stand up.(16:46) And then we're just going to like judge you. (16:47) That's fine. (16:48) It's going to be uncomfortable because I'm not in that great of shape.(16:51) But I would do it because I've done it before. (16:55) I've walked around in my...

Alan Lazaros

(16:56) It would be painful for sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:57) It would be painful, yeah. (16:58) But it's not where if you said, I don't know. (17:04) Hey, show us your feet and clip your toenails.(17:06) I'm not going to fucking do that.

Alan Lazaros

(17:08) What does that have to do with this episode?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:10) I don't like my feet. (17:11) I don't like my feet. (17:12) I'm not like 10 out of 10 confident in my feet.(17:13) I have like little fucking Flintstone feet. (17:16) Oh, okay.

Alan Lazaros

(17:17) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:17) It's the first time you've ever talked about that out loud. (17:20) Haven't I talked about my... (17:21) I've talked about my toes before, I think.(17:24) I just don't, I don't know. (17:25) I don't love my feet. (17:26) Level, next level university.(17:28) If you want to go for level 10, you're going to have to look at all your inadequacies. (17:34) Yes, yes, yes, yes. (17:35) But you don't go for level 10 unless you have a global belief.(17:40) Your identity, like there were videos of Kobe Bryant at like 17 and I realize he's an extreme example, RIP. (17:49) All right, you don't even have to like him. (17:50) I just want to use him as an example, okay?(17:52) He was like, I'm better than Michael. (17:53) He was yelling to himself alone in a room, I'm better than MJ. (17:57) When he was 17.(17:59) Well, at least that's a different human. (18:00) But that's my... (18:03) You think he's looking at where he's great?(18:05) I don't think he needs to. (18:07) I don't think he needed to. (18:09) I don't think he could and achieve that goal.(18:12) But what if somebody... (18:13) Imagine if Michael Jordan was pumped with 20 points. (18:15) Yeah, yeah, but what if my level...(18:19) My level 5 goal is Kobe's level 10. (18:25) Wait, what? (18:26) My level 5.(18:28) No, no, Kobe's level 10. (18:30) Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. (18:32) Right?

Alan Lazaros

(18:33) I don't know if I'm saying it right.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:34) No, no, your level 10 goal is his level 5. (18:37) Sure, yeah, yeah. (18:38) Okay, nice, yeah.(18:39) Okay, what about that? (18:41) I'm not going to beat myself up as much as he did. (18:44) You're not going to have to.(18:45) That, that's what I mean. (18:47) So we're saying the same thing. (18:49) Yes and no.(18:50) I think in the beginning you have to do it... (18:54) If you're just doing your first podcast episode and you get off and you say, that was the right piece of shit, like don't do that. (18:59) That's dumb.(19:00) That's stupid. (19:01) I can do that because I've done a lot of shitty episodes and... (19:06) Yeah, fair, fair.(19:07) Very honestly, I believe I can be one of the best podcasters on the planet. (19:11) I believe whether you agree or not, that doesn't matter. (19:14) I believe I can be one of the best speakers on the planet.(19:16) So I'm willing to give myself harder feedback. (19:22) But you didn't start off there? (19:24) Not that extreme, not that extreme.(19:27) Yeah, yeah, but you definitely had that. (19:29) I needed you to tell me I did a good job on my first speech.

Alan Lazaros

(19:32) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:32) I fucking needed that. (19:34) I needed that, man. (19:36) It's so hard to do.(19:37) And honestly, I kind of needed you to fuck up. (19:40) I did. (19:40) I kind of needed you to fuck up because it was like...

Alan Lazaros

(19:44) Maybe that's why I was doing it.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:45) Maybe. (19:46) No, no, no. (19:47) I do think there's some unconscious truth to that, seriously.(19:49) Probably. (19:50) Because I think that's the sort of, I would dim and you'd increase to manufacture belonging. (19:56) Because that's belonging theory, by the way.(19:58) So if you are afraid to be better than other people, you will dial down. (20:01) I'll share this. (20:02) After one of our speeches, Emilia said, Alan, if Tony Robbins was in that room and you were speaking next to the best speakers in the world, you would never have done that poorly.(20:10) She's like, you need to start speaking with better speakers. (20:13) And she said that, yes, about you. (20:14) Okay, back then.(20:15) I still come, I still come for her. (20:17) I know, you come with the fire. (20:18) And she's not speaking like she could do that either.(20:20) She meant me. (20:21) She knows me. (20:22) She knows I dial down because I'm afraid to be better than you.(20:25) This is years ago. (20:26) I didn't do that this time. (20:28) I didn't do that at all this time.(20:29) It's still mine. (20:30) I still take it in my humble, in my very humble opinion. (20:33) It's all good.(20:34) I want to share this real quick. (20:36) Yeah. (20:37) I gave a speech at Matt's.(20:39) I gave the best man speech at Matt's wedding. (20:41) It was fucking garbage. (20:44) Garbage.(20:45) I'm embarrassed at how bad it was. (20:47) Why? (20:48) It was just dog shit.(20:51) I had so much I was gonna say. (20:53) And then when I get up there, it was just like, that's gone. (20:56) All of that, that's all gone.(20:58) You got none of that left. (21:00) And the other speeches before me. (21:03) Oh my God.(21:06) Matt's wife's sister stood up, opened a notebook, turned it upside down and dust fell out. (21:14) And she said, well, it's about time we're here. (21:16) And I was like, oh my God, I'm fucked.(21:19) Good for you for having that. (21:21) Right then I was like, oh boy. (21:25) I am in trouble.(21:27) But I had a bunch of people come up to me after like strong man, strong workman. (21:30) Get out of here. (21:31) Fucking get out of here.(21:32) That was garbage. (21:34) I need a whiskey. (21:35) Please leave me alone.(21:36) It wasn't good. (21:39) But if somebody else went up there and they had never spoken in front of an audience, you better give them their flowers and you better let them feel good about themselves. (21:48) And you don't let them beat themselves up.(21:50) However, what if they end up thinking they're better than they are? (21:54) I think that's the thing about this is you've got to self soothe. (21:57) What is it?(21:57) What does it mean to self soothe? (21:59) I want this. (22:01) I hope becomes clear.(22:04) If you actually want to achieve the goal, you have to be accurate. (22:08) I've already gotten feedback behind the scenes. (22:11) Amy couldn't choose between you and me.(22:12) She said, if I have to choose, I said, if you had an event and you had to have a headliner, who would you pick? (22:18) Me or Kev? (22:19) She did say me.(22:20) And I asked her why.

Alan Lazaros

(22:22) You're dead to me.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:23) I asked her why. (22:26) And she talked about the different styles. (22:28) She talked about how there's a coach.(22:30) There's different types of speakers.

Alan Lazaros

(22:31) You're the friend.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:32) And so headliner isn't supposed to be your friend. (22:34) That's the main thing. (22:36) Regardless, regardless, my point of this, I hope what lands is if you want to win and succeed, not win, but succeed at whatever your actual goal is, you have to be accurate about your own capabilities in the context of the room.(22:51) The first show that I lost, I thought that I watched a video from the year before of the exact same show. (22:59) And I was like, these, this competent. (23:02) Well, next year, yeah, not only, but the same people came back and made their mistakes and they got better.(23:09) So you can't, you can't just rest on. (23:14) So, so your best man speech, I don't, I think you should. (23:21) Tell yourself that that was not, you didn't prep enough.(23:24) I should. (23:24) You came in cocky, right? (23:26) No, no, I prepped.(23:27) I had, dude, I had a fucking year of prep. (23:29) Then what the fuck happened? (23:31) I made notes.(23:33) Did you get too drunk?

Alan Lazaros

(23:34) Honestly.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:34) Yeah. (23:35) So here's the thing, dude, my, I ripped my pants during the photo shoot. (23:41) I squatted the photographers like, can we bend down and lift him up?(23:45) I was like, of course we can. (23:46) Yeah, of course. (23:47) I bent down.(23:48) My pants exploded. (23:49) Yeah. (23:50) He's like two 30, man.(23:51) My whole ass was hanging. (23:52) Dude, this was terrible. (23:53) I'm telling my whole ass cheek was hanging on my pants.(23:55) It was brutal. (23:57) I had to wear this deep brother. (23:59) I had to wear the DJ's pants.(24:01) The DJ who was like six foot three had an extra pair of pants. (24:04) I swear to God, I wore his pants for the whole wedding. (24:07) You got too drunk.(24:08) No, I had a cup of whiskey. (24:09) No, it wasn't that dude. (24:10) It was just, I just got nervous.(24:15) I got nervous. (24:16) I wasn't, it wasn't like a speech.

Alan Lazaros

(24:17) You weren't in your element.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:18) You weren't in flow. (24:18) You didn't get flow. (24:19) I wasn't in my, I wasn't in flow.(24:21) And it was like, I think people are going to think I should do really good. (24:25) Yeah. (24:26) Now I'm like nervous that I can't just like speak from the heart.(24:29) Cause if I speak from the heart, what if I forget? (24:31) I forget anyway. (24:31) So it didn't matter.(24:33) Real quick. (24:34) This is my thesis. (24:35) If you, who's in better shape, you or me?(24:39) You currently. (24:41) Wait, wait, wait. (24:41) Hold on.(24:42) Physique. (24:43) Body comp. (24:44) No physique.(24:46) Physique. (24:47) Just aesthetically. (24:49) You.(24:51) The fact that you and I can even have this conversation means we have very high self-belief in it. (24:57) That's my thought. (24:58) If you can have a conversation, a grounded conversation where your ego doesn't flare, I do think I'm a better speaker than you.(25:05) Not from a place of ego. (25:06) I just, I have to. (25:07) I have to.(25:08) If. (25:09) Why? (25:12) I don't, it would break my brain to think I'm not, I guess.(25:16) I have very high self-belief in speaking. (25:18) Yeah, yeah, no, that's okay. (25:19) If we lined up 100 people and you got 99 votes, I'd be like, ah, fuck it.(25:24) Okay. (25:24) Yeah, but what if they're all wrong? (25:27) All I'm saying is I wouldn't villainize you.(25:29) I, we don't have to, if you can have a, if you can have a meaningful conversation about the thing without your ego flaring, I'm willing to bet you have pretty high self-belief in that. (25:37) Yeah, that's fair. (25:38) That's where you should give yourself.(25:40) But if it was something else. (25:42) Like what? (25:46) I don't know because I've known you for so long.(25:49) So when I use the word fat, you think that people that consider themselves fat get triggered? (25:55) I'm sure they're not happy. (25:57) So, okay.(25:58) This would just be an example. (25:59) I'm not trying to be offensive. (26:00) I went today to get a TV and I was at Walmart and there was several people there that were alarmingly overweight.(26:08) Okay. (26:10) Now, both statements are true. (26:14) Number one, a large majority of the US population is overweight or obese.(26:21) Okay. (26:22) That's the one way to say it. (26:23) The other way to say it is our country is getting really fat.(26:25) One of them is very triggering to someone who's insecure about their weight. (26:29) It doesn't trigger you because you're not insecure about your weight, right? (26:32) Right.(26:32) But it does trigger you because you don't want people to think I'm an asshole. (26:35) Yes, I would say that's fair. (26:36) Okay, fair.(26:36) So underneath all this is if you don't believe you can control the outcome, you get really insecure, but the insecurity makes it so you can't control the outcome. (26:47) Because if you are fat, the first step is accepting and owning that. (26:54) And if you don't have belief, you're not gonna because you're insecure.(26:57) So it's this conundrum again. (26:59) And so my job as a coach, if you're watching or listening, is to pop the bubble enough to where you can change. (27:07) And I joke with my clients.(27:08) I say, I only want you to feel bad enough about yourself to change. (27:12) And what you're saying is... (27:16) People don't know how.(27:17) People don't know how to feel just bad enough about themselves. (27:20) I know. (27:20) And that's...(27:22) I think that's the core. (27:23) That's the core. (27:24) That's a root problem.(27:25) The root cause of this. (27:26) Agreed. (27:27) Which that should be something we discuss.(27:31) Because you don't change until after you hit some sort of... (27:35) Like that's why rock bottom moments are often the foundation for transformation. (27:40) Of course.(27:40) And I didn't expect that to rhyme. (27:42) No. (27:43) But that's the thing is if you only ever look at that person, that client.(27:50) No, they don't have to pick out the one thing that indicates that you might not be respected. (27:54) Obviously she, and that's okay. (27:55) I know you're listening, is insecure about not being respected.(27:58) She wants to be respected. (27:59) You wanted to be respected. (28:00) I wanted to be liked.(28:01) We eventually leaned into who we are. (28:03) Great. (28:04) I do still want to be liked.(28:05) And I just know it's not gonna fucking happen unless I stop being me. (28:10) But I have to be willing to be misunderstood. (28:12) And yes, I think some people respect that unconsciously and then dislike me consciously.(28:16) Whatever. (28:17) My point of this is we all have to figure out everyone's on the wrong side of it, I think. (28:25) I know someone I'm thinking of who is overweight and doesn't think she is.(28:31) And it's like, yo, you need to look at the fucking reality. (28:36) And then here you are calling yourself fat. (28:38) Like, and that's why you're in better shape.(28:41) That's the paradox. (28:42) You're honest about you being, you're not fluffy right now, but I'm fluffy right now for sure. (28:48) I'm fluffier than I want to be.(28:49) Yeah, and owning that is the only reason I'm gonna work on it. (28:54) Yeah, but I think that's the thing is like, well dude, when I was 16, for me it was different, but like, you know, when you were 18 and you felt tall and lanky, like that's a… (29:05) It's a trigger.(29:06) That's a trigger. (29:07) And it's hard to admit all of that. (29:10) So I don't know.(29:11) Isn't there a way to do it? (29:14) I think that's where you have to start with everybody is like, hey Kev, you're a short brother and I know you know that and I care about you enough to tell you that you're gonna have to overcome that in your own unique way. (29:25) Well, you gotta do it by yourself though.(29:27) Yeah, you have to coach yourself. (29:29) You have to guide yourself. (29:30) Whatever term you want to use.(29:32) We all need a Gandalf or a Dumbledore or whatever. (29:34) We all need, and we don't have those. (29:38) No one was like, hey Alan, you look really fucking young and people are not gonna take you seriously in business.(29:45) So you gotta dress nicer. (29:48) You gotta speak with confidence. (29:52) You come off arrogant because you have a lot of self-belief but people don't know it and they don't think it's merited.(29:57) Nobody could explain it in a way where I got it. (30:01) And I really, you know why? (30:03) Because they didn't know.(30:04) Well, that's whose responsibility is it? (30:06) That's always the hard thing. (30:07) You and I have had that conversation.(30:08) It's like, dude, why didn't you tell me? (30:10) It's like, brother, I didn't know. (30:13) I didn't know.(30:15) I, you know what I mean? (30:16) Like, I didn't know well enough to tell you because I didn't know if it was right. (30:21) And I don't want to mislead you.(30:24) That's the hard thing. (30:24) People who are afraid to mislead you are the ones who probably should fucking try. (30:28) Oh, that's the paradox of it.(30:29) Exactly. (30:30) Because the people who aren't afraid to mislead you at all are the ones who mislead you. (30:33) I have one person I'm thinking of who gave me every one of his opinions.(30:37) Not a single one of them had even a lick of Hail Mary distance with inaccuracy. (30:41) And he wasn't afraid to offend me or mislead me at all. (30:44) Here you are not telling me the fucking truth because you don't want to mislead me.(30:47) I always say, I literally always say this to Alan. (30:49) It's like, I don't, I could be off. (30:50) I could be off on this.(30:52) That's what I say before.

Alan Lazaros

(30:53) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:53) Amen. (30:54) I don't know. (30:55) I could be off on this.(30:55) And here's, I mean, of course. (30:57) I appreciate the humility, but it's like, you got to have the courage to say something.

Alan Lazaros

(31:00) Like, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:00) And if someone actually did want the goal, they will thank you. (31:04) That's what I've found. (31:05) But if they didn't really want the goal and they were just saying things, they might get really offended.(31:12) And that's something that be very selective and discerning. (31:18) And what I've found is humility. (31:21) Humility is rarer than I ever could have imagined.(31:25) Inward humility. (31:27) Those people tend not to attack. (31:31) The people who have high levels of humility, like a Brandon, I know Brandon brother for sure.(31:37) He just won't attack because he's just like, okay, thank you. (31:41) Fair. (31:41) Fair.(31:42) That's fair. (31:43) He doesn't have a lot of delusion. (31:45) He doesn't think he's better than he is.(31:47) He is willing to accept his own inadequacies, even if he's insecure. (31:52) And that's what vulnerability is. (31:54) It's accepting the painful truth, even when you are insecure.(32:00) I just think in the beginning, you've got to figure out where it's constructive. (32:03) And I think that the spectrum of construction slides as you get better. (32:10) And if you're going to miss, if you have high belief, miss high.(32:14) If you have low belief, miss low. (32:15) I think, again, that's a blanket statement. (32:18) It honestly, it's whatever is going to get you to do it again, better.(32:22) Yeah. (32:22) Whatever is going to get you to the goal is what I say. (32:25) But I'm, you know me, I'm about sustainability.(32:28) So like, it has to be sustainable. (32:30) If every time, if you just took a massive L, the last thing you need to do is take more blocks out of the foundation. (32:37) Now, but only if only you out there know whether or not that's happening.(32:41) It sounds like I'm hard on myself when I talk about fitness. (32:43) I, that does not get to me at all. (32:45) Yeah.(32:46) I'm not saying that as like an arrogant thing. (32:47) I've been doing this for a long time. (32:50) A long time.(32:51) I used to be freaky jacked. (32:54) I let it go. (32:56) I let it go.(32:57) I'm coming back. (32:58) I'm coming back. (32:59) I'm dedicated.(33:00) I'm dialed. (33:01) But like when it comes to, I'm not comparing to the average population. (33:09) I'm comparing to like bodybuilders, bodybuilders.(33:11) I follow. (33:13) I don't know what to say about this. (33:15) I like this.(33:16) I think this is important for the listener though. (33:20) How do they do this? (33:22) How do you keep it constructive, not destructive?(33:24) I think, you know, I do. (33:27) I think deep down when you give yourself feedback, you either know, fuck, this is hurting me or I'm letting myself off the hook. (33:33) I think, you know, I do unconsciously.(33:38) I think, you know. (33:40) Yeah. (33:40) That's why the you versus you thing is so powerful.(33:43) Just like when you work out, it's like, I could have given more. (33:45) Or that was fucking reckless. (33:46) I shouldn't have done that.(33:53) To me, you gotta, it's drive to five, baby. (33:56) You gotta find what's optimal for you at that time. (34:00) And if you are coming off a big L to your point, what's optimal is gonna be different than if you're coming off a win.(34:09) And you have to keep yourself at five. (34:13) You have to. (34:14) If you get too cocky, you're gonna lose the next game.(34:17) If you get too deflated, you're not gonna show up. (34:19) You're gonna fucking cry in the bathroom when you should be on stage. (34:23) And you gotta keep yourself at five.(34:26) That is exactly what it is. (34:28) You have to 24-7, 365. (34:32) I feel really good in my relationship.(34:34) I feel pretty good in fitness. (34:36) I feel very good in finance. (34:39) Today in the gym, I purposely did weighted pull-ups again because I need the humble pie.(34:44) I need to stay humble because I'm feeling good. (34:48) And good is fine. (34:49) Good is great.(34:50) Awesome. (34:50) Don't, you don't have to like. (34:51) But dude, don't, come on.(34:53) You gotta, you're not that great. (34:56) I'm in that place where I gotta get myself back to five through timing my mile or doing, I did 30 pounds, you know, and it was a struggle. (35:04) So, you know, in my ankles.(35:08) And nothing humbling, more humbling than weighted pull-ups. (35:12) It's fucking so humbling. (35:13) It's like, I easily could go over the lat pull-downs and crank them.(35:16) I can go over the lat pull-downs and crank them. (35:18) No problem. (35:19) Emilia's over there.(35:20) I could do it. (35:20) I could join her. (35:21) No problem.(35:22) 140, 160, 180. (35:23) No problem. (35:25) It's just horrible, but I need that.(35:28) So yeah, you keep yourself at five. (35:30) No one's going to do it for you. (35:32) No one's going to do it for you.(35:33) If you get inflated, you're going to get complacent and you're going to be a big fish in a small pond. (35:38) If you get too deflated, you're going to be a small guppy in a huge ocean. (35:41) You're going to think nothing's possible.(35:43) Figure out how much you really believe in yourself. (35:45) If you believe in yourself a ton, prove yourself right. (35:47) If you believe in yourself, not at all.(35:49) You got to prove yourself wrong. (35:50) And I feel like that's a new quote I'm going to use a lot because if you don't believe you can do it, you got to prove yourself wrong. (35:59) If you do believe you can do it, you got to show up and prove it.(36:03) Not just to yourself, but to all the naysayers too. (36:05) Because you feel like other people believed in you more than you believed in yourself. (36:09) I have never felt that way.(36:11) Only Emilia Smith. (36:13) Even with the marathon, she was like, yeah, you probably do it. (36:16) Let's do it.(36:16) I'll do it with you. (36:17) She did the half marathon with me. (36:19) On a whim.(36:21) Right? (36:21) And it's like, that's what I'm talking about. (36:24) That's what I'm talking about.(36:26) And now that you're on the other end of this, last question, we got to go. (36:29) You're on the other end now. (36:30) Do you feel like you believe in yourself more than other people believe in you yet?(36:36) Ooh, no, not really. (36:38) I'm so looking forward to that. (36:41) When you start believing in yourself more than other people believe in you, it's the fucking worst.(36:47) I don't know if it'll ever happen. (36:48) It feels like you have to prove yourself all the time. (36:51) It's so weird.(36:52) It's like, it's like, are you kidding me? (36:55) Like, look at what I've done. (36:57) I think I deflect though.(36:59) I think I deflect, you know? (37:04) Like for me, I don't, I've been working out with Bruce a lot lately. (37:08) Almost every workout, Bruce and I.(37:09) Bruce is a 79 year old bodybuilder. (37:11) It's the best. (37:13) And he's like, dude, you're like, I showed him my progress picture.(37:16) He's like, oh, you're there, man. (37:17) You could get on stage now. (37:18) I was like, Bruce, come on.(37:19) No. (37:20) No, I could not. (37:21) Yeah, I could, but I would get fucking stomped.(37:24) It would be terrible. (37:25) That's the opposite. (37:27) I want you to think you could step on stage and crush it and someone else would say, no, you couldn't.(37:34) I want you to get to the point where you believe in yourself more than anyone else believes in you. (37:38) That is a fucking lonely spot. (37:41) And then you have to prove everyone wrong.(37:45) And that's when you have your warrior come out like, okay, I'm gonna have to show everybody. (37:50) I don't know if it'll go the same way. (37:52) No, because by the time you get that level of belief, you will have already had enough proof.(37:56) Because that's the time perspective thing. (37:58) It's like just be the most humble man on the planet. (38:03) No, but that is interesting.(38:05) I feel like almost no one has ever believed in me more than I believe in myself. (38:11) And because of that, I have to prove the naysayers wrong. (38:14) And I have to prove myself right.(38:15) And if that doesn't resonate, that means you probably don't have as high of self-belief. (38:20) And or if it does resonate, you might be delusional. (38:23) I don't know.(38:24) What I do know is Emilia does actually believe in what's possible as much or more than me at times. (38:30) And it's so weird to the point where it's like, wait a minute, what the fuck is it?

Alan Lazaros

(38:36) Have I lost it?

Kevin Palmieri

(38:36) Yeah, and or are you accurate, right? (38:39) Like, are you delusional? (38:41) And she's not.(38:42) But every now and then we all are to some extent. (38:44) But she's the possibility guy, girl. (38:49) I'm the possibility guy for us.(38:51) You're usually like, I don't know, man, right? (38:53) I'm that in my relationship. (38:55) It's like, what the fuck is this?(38:56) It's interesting. (38:57) It's really cool to be on this end for the first time. (38:59) And at the end of the day, I am curious to see how you react when you believe in yourself more than the world believes in you.(39:09) Yeah, same. (39:10) I don't know. (39:12) I don't know.(39:13) It'll be interesting for sure. (39:15) I'll let you know when it happens. (39:17) If there's anyone out there who doesn't believe Kevin can be the best speaker on the planet.(39:21) Yeah, line him up. (39:22) Send some shade his way.

Alan Lazaros

(39:23) I'm joking. (39:23) Please, line him up.

Kevin Palmieri

(39:24) Send me your best fucking resume and your best reel and I will fucking stomp you.

Alan Lazaros

(39:30) I will stomp you.

Kevin Palmieri

(39:32) No, but seriously, don't shit. (39:34) Don't send shade. (39:35) We don't need to deal with any of that.

Alan Lazaros

(39:36) If you are a listener though, please.

Kevin Palmieri

(39:37) I prefer if you did. (39:38) Yeah, I prefer if you didn't send shade. (39:40) If you do send shade, you better make it your best shit because I'm going to tear it apart.(39:44) Because if you're sending it to hurt my feelings. (39:46) Well, now I know why no one tells you. (39:48) This is funny.(39:49) No, it'll be interesting for sure. (39:51) I don't know. (39:51) I don't, I'm curious to see what happens.(39:53) If you do have that moment, let me know. (39:54) I'm curious. (39:55) Where it's like, oh my God, I think I believe in myself more than anyone believes in me.(39:59) Yeah, it's a lonely moment. (40:01) I think I'm a ways away from that. (40:02) Really?(40:03) Yeah, I think so. (40:06) Fitness. (40:07) There are certain places I do, but like, I don't know, man.(40:09) I'm always on the outer edge of what I think I can possibly do. (40:12) Almost always. (40:15) Just as a byproduct of this journey.(40:18) When it comes to your true potential, what percentage have you reached? (40:22) 112. (40:24) Maxed out, baby.(40:25) Minus two. (40:26) Minus two, 110. (40:28) Two percent, maybe three.(40:30) I'm 37. (40:30) I can't even fathom that. (40:32) Oh, barely scratching the surface.(40:34) This is fucking a joke. (40:36) This is an absolute child's play. (40:38) Complete and utter child's play.(40:40) I don't understand. (40:40) Complete and utter child's play. (40:41) That's my truth.(40:42) We are barely even touched. (40:44) We're not even within Hail Mary distance of what we are capable of. (40:47) That's a new saying.(40:48) Alan said it twice.

Alan Lazaros

(40:48) I know. (40:49) That's a new saying.

Kevin Palmieri

(40:50) You know it. (40:50) Brother, it's not even remotely close. (40:53) Like, this is the very beginning of the beginning of the beginning of the beginning of what we are capable of.(40:57) And I don't just mean we, like you and I. (40:59) I mean the collective we, the team, the community, Emily and I. (41:02) Like, this is an absolute...(41:04) This is the very beginning. (41:05) We're 37 and 36, dude. (41:07) This is the very beginning.(41:08) Yeah, but this is further than I thought, so I don't know. (41:11) Not for me. (41:12) It's like when you climb to the top of the mountain and then you look up.(41:14) It's like, oh, that was like just the first peak. (41:16) Oh, okay. (41:18) Interesting.(41:18) In my case, it's like I somehow skipped like six peaks and I'm looking back and I'm like, oh. (41:23) I thought that's where we're going to be. (41:25) Yeah, this is not farther than I thought we'd go.(41:27) We gotta go. (41:28) I'm running on a 44 sleep score right now. (41:32) And I'm on our...(41:33) It's 4 a.m. until 8.30. Again, I'm not saying that for hustle porn. (41:37) I feel really good, actually. (41:38) Cognitively, for whatever reason.(41:40) Maybe it's because I'm all hopped up on Mountain Dew. (41:42) I think it's because this topic was excellently chosen. (41:46) What I think is I'm really enjoying the podcast.(41:48) Same. (41:49) I'm very much enjoying how it is a Discord. (41:54) Same.(41:54) Yeah, it's nice. (41:55) I enjoy it very much. (41:56) Best it's ever been, in my opinion.(41:57) I feel very fulfilled and I feel like this is important and meaningful. (42:03) Even though the last episode, I didn't want to do it all. (42:05) I reviewed it today and I was grateful we did.

Alan Lazaros

(42:08) Cool, cool.

Kevin Palmieri

(42:10) All right. (42:10) If you're looking for a coach that you'll be grateful you reached out to... (42:13) My nose is running.(42:14) Reach out to Alan. (42:15) Alan's the guy. (42:16) That is the beauty of working with somebody who has such a high level of self-belief is he will believe that you are possible...(42:22) No. (42:23) He will believe that what is possible for you is more than you believe is possible for you. (42:28) The best speaker on the planet, folks.(42:30) I help Alan get tons of clients because I speak so highly of him. (42:34) I'm the best. (42:35) And Next Level Nation, we're doing new stuff in Next Level Nation.(42:38) I cannot speak to save my life. (42:39) Please don't shit on me. (42:41) I know I talked a big game here.(42:43) Next Level Nation, we're rebuilding and we're redoing content in there. (42:46) Did you hit the shutdown right there?

Alan Lazaros

(42:48) I think I might have. (42:49) Was that the end?

Kevin Palmieri

(42:49) I think I spoke too soon about feeling good. (42:52) Amy posted a video in there. (42:53) I posted a video in there.(42:54) You will not see Alan in there to save your life. (42:57) He will not be within a Hail Mary's throw of there because he's got other stuff going on. (43:00) But Next Level Nation is going to be up and rolling.(43:02) So please join us. (43:04) Uh, yeah. (43:05) So if you've never had a coach, it is unbelievable what it can do because AI is not going to be able to keep you in the challenge skill sweet spot and to believe in you.(43:15) Nope, believe. (43:16) What? (43:17) Oh, my AI believed I can do it.

Alan Lazaros

(43:19) That's not useful.

Kevin Palmieri

(43:20) It's going to tell you how great you are. (43:21) It's going to tell you. (43:22) It literally told me that if I microwave sand, it would work and I should eat it.(43:26) It's the dumbest thing ever. (43:28) It was a weird chemistry rabbit hole. (43:30) The point is, I'm not anti-AI.(43:32) I'm just saying human beings are leaders. (43:38) I can lead you to your true potential. (43:41) Let me do that.(43:42) It's my favorite work in the world. (43:43) I've been doing it for 11 years. (43:45) I did it four or five times today already.(43:48) Just reach out. (43:49) It's more affordable than you think. (43:50) Shout out to a lot of my clients today.(43:52) Just amazing conversations. (43:54) Staying in the challenge skill sweet spot towards your golden dream. (43:57) As always, we love you.(43:58) We appreciate you. (43:59) Grateful for each and every one of you. (44:00) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(44:06) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (44:09) Next level nation. (44:11) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(44:15) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (44:17) We mean it when we say family. (44:19) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.(44:23) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (44:26) Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.