Don’t Come Out Of The Gate Too Fast (2421)

Starting small only works if you plan to build. In this episode of Next Level University, Kevin and Alan challenge one of the most common mistakes in personal development: confusing sustainable habits with low standards. It is easy to come out too fast, burn out, and blame the process. It is just as easy to start small, stay small, and wonder why the results never come.

Through coaching lessons, fitness examples, financial habits, and hard-earned perspective from thousands of episodes, Kevin and Alan explain how to find the right pace for growth. Not too aggressive. Not too comfortable. Just challenging enough to build skill, identity, discipline, and long-term consistency.

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Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(0:00) Intro
(2:45) When too much creates failure
(3:52) Simple systems beat overcomplication
(6:22) Why your setup may be too much
(8:17) The difference between starting and staying small
(10:31) Build standards you can sustain
(12:31) Develop skill before life gets harder
(14:18) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri
(0:00) I know a lot of us get excited to start something new, and we come out of the gate way too fast, we do unsustainable behaviors, we burn ourselves out, we villainize the process, and then we never want to do it again. (0:11) And you know at NLU, we are massive, we talk about it all the time. (0:14) Please start small, please start sustainably, because if not, you're probably not going to be doing it for very long.
(0:21) Start small, yes.
Alan Lazaros
(0:24) However, if your intention isn't to eventually increase, then I think starting small is a waste of your fucking time.
Kevin Palmieri
(0:32) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:35) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:37) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.
(0:40) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.
Alan Lazaros
(0:46) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.
Kevin Palmieri
(0:53) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.
Alan Lazaros
(1:09) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.
Kevin Palmieri
(1:15) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:21) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2421. (1:25) We're going to hit you with a quick one, okay?
(1:26) We have like 10 minutes, but we're going to make it value-packed because that is what we try to do. (1:31) We just started the 22nd group of group coaching, the Next Level Podcast Accelerator. (1:39) And I had a moment when we were going through the first session where we're helping people set...
(1:45) So you set three goals, and you have one habit under each of those goals. (1:49) 12-week goals, baby. (1:50) 12-week goals.
(1:51) And I was like, this is not enough. (1:53) It's not enough. (1:55) Not enough.
(1:56) And then I thought back to our first ever round of group coaching. (2:01) 12. (2:01) We were like, all right, everybody, welcome.
(2:04) We're not going to introduce any of you, so you don't even know who each other is. (2:07) Like, don't even worry about that. (2:07) You shouldn't even have to worry about that.
(2:09) By the end of the first call, you're all going to have 12 habits you're going to be tracking. (2:12) You never tracked habits before? (2:13) Don't even worry about it.
(2:14) Here's 12 of them.
Alan Lazaros
(2:15) Here's a dozen.
Kevin Palmieri
(2:16) You remember Kevin Stenner? (2:17) Kevin Stenner.
Alan Lazaros
(2:17) My man's Kevin Stenner. (2:19) He won the... (2:20) We had an award.
(2:21) An award. (2:22) For, along with a lifetime supply of happiness, you also get a free car. (2:28) No, Kevin Stenner crushed it.
(2:31) The highest TPO, total productive output, was 71%. (2:34) Is that what it was? (2:35) I thought it was 77 for some reason.
(2:37) Ah, maybe. (2:37) It was 70-something. (2:38) 73, maybe.
(2:39) Yeah. (2:39) But I coached Kevin Stenner for a time. (2:41) I know.
(2:41) Shout out to Kay Stenner. (2:42) Shout out to Kay Stenner.
Kevin Palmieri
(2:45) I was reflecting on that. (2:47) And I was like, oh my god, we set everybody up for failure. (2:51) We set everybody up for failure.
(2:53) We... (2:54) Hey, whose fault was that? (2:55) That was your fault.
(2:56) Your fault. (2:56) We had everybody literally come out of the gate way too fast. (3:00) Full-on sprint.
(3:02) It didn't go well for most people. (3:04) You get stuck in the shame cycle. (3:05) You run away.
(3:06) There is most... (3:07) Many people from the first group of group coaching, we never heard from again.
Alan Lazaros
(3:10) They just ran away. (3:11) Or they stuck around and were on the team or coached me. (3:15) Group coaching has been notorious for all in or all out.
(3:18) That's true. (3:18) But one thing I want to share, Kevin Stenner is, in hindsight, a very much AP performer.
Kevin Palmieri
(3:25) For sure.
Alan Lazaros
(3:26) Triathlete, lawyer. (3:27) I mean, he's a multi... (3:28) He does very well.
(3:29) I'm not going to give away his finances, but he's very successful. (3:32) And I didn't know back then, because this was what? (3:34) Six, five years ago?
(3:35) Five, five and a half years ago. (3:37) Yeah. (3:39) I didn't realize that 12 Habits was a lot.
(3:42) I probably didn't either. (3:44) It wasn't a lot for him, I don't think. (3:46) But Kay Stenner can handle that.
Kevin Palmieri
(3:47) He did really well. (3:49) He did really well. (3:50) But I think most people...
(3:52) The other reason I wanted to do this episode is I'm... (3:55) So Alan and I have split our finances, right? (3:58) So now it's like we get salary, quote unquote, which is strange.
(4:02) But I'm in charge of my own money, and you've heard me talk about this, for the first time in like nine years. (4:07) And there's a part of me that's like, I got to really fucking overcomplicate this system. (4:11) I got to find a way to like...
(4:12) I need to do Alan's... (4:14) I need to play chess. (4:14) I need to do the chess.
(4:16) It's like, brother, I don't think you do yet. (4:18) I think if you do, you're going to fall off. (4:22) It's going to be too much.
(4:23) And then you're not going to do any version of it. (4:25) And it's not going to be constructive. (4:28) And I think that's the ultimate conversation for this episode is...
(4:31) What are you doing? (4:33) So I have a Rocket Money account, number one. (4:36) I check my finances every day, number two.
(4:40) I ping Taryn every time there's a question. (4:42) We have a certain amount... (4:43) Hence the app.
(4:44) Hence the app. (4:44) There's a certain percentage that we are looking to invest. (4:47) Like there's...
(4:48) It's way more than I ever did.
Alan Lazaros
(4:49) Every day of, hey, what is this?
Kevin Palmieri
(4:51) Same thing. (4:52) I'm doing the same shit you're doing in my own personal with my wife. (4:56) Yeah.
(4:56) I'm doing some other things, but that's all right. (4:59) Yeah. (4:59) Well, no, you know what I mean.
(5:00) But I wouldn't necessarily... (5:01) I wouldn't suggest that to somebody else. (5:04) I would say like, yeah, look at your bank account once a day.
(5:07) I have a client the other day. (5:09) I have a client the other day. (5:10) Love this client.
(5:11) Amazing human. (5:12) We get in this cycle. (5:13) We get in this cycle where gets excited about something new, makes progress on something new.
(5:18) The delay of progress is there before you get the result. (5:21) Checks the bank account. (5:22) The bank account's really low.
(5:24) Gets triggered. (5:25) Rinse and repeat. (5:26) And I said...
(5:28) She said, I don't understand how this keeps happening. (5:29) Break the cycle. (5:30) I don't understand how this keeps happening.
(5:32) I said, I do. (5:33) You want me to give it to you? (5:34) And she said, yes, please.
(5:36) I said... (5:36) You really asked? (5:38) Yeah.
(5:38) Do you want me to? (5:38) Yeah. (5:39) Yeah.
(5:39) You got to start looking at your finances every day. (5:43) And she's like, you think... (5:44) You whispered it?
(5:45) Probably. (5:46) I am very animated on my coaching calls. (5:48) Nice.
(5:48) And I said, look, I don't like to do it either. (5:51) It's the worst. (5:52) It's terrible.
(5:52) I know. (5:53) But you got to do it. (5:54) You get the feedback all at once.
(5:55) You get it little bits along the way, right? (5:57) But I'm not saying you have to go in and you have to have like... (6:02) This is your gross income.
(6:04) And this is your net income. (6:05) And this is your profit margin. (6:07) And then of that percentage, this is how much goes to this.
(6:09) Nope. (6:10) No, no. (6:10) We don't have to do any of that.
(6:11) Just look at your account once a day. (6:13) That's it. (6:14) First thing in the morning when you're doing your tracking, just look at your bank account.
(6:19) Because that is sustainable. (6:20) You're not coming out too hot.
Alan Lazaros
(6:22) Have you found that most people have like too many bank accounts? (6:27) I have a bunch of clients who have like a bunch of bank accounts. (6:30) And I tell them, button it up.
(6:32) Button it the fuck up.
Kevin Palmieri
(6:33) You're not going to look at seven accounts. (6:35) That's... (6:35) I'm telling you, that is such a common thing is we equip ourselves way beyond our competencies.
(6:41) I have a good friend who has is a very... (6:44) He's very good with math and numbers. (6:45) He has like 15 accounts.
(6:47) But he can do it. (6:48) He's fine. (6:49) He knows what he's doing.
(6:50) I know. (6:50) But he's been doing it for like 15 years. (6:52) Like if...
(6:53) I'm not going to do that.
Alan Lazaros
(6:54) He's on the very high end of...
Kevin Palmieri
(6:55) Yes. (6:56) And he's also in finance. (6:57) But that is not necessarily a system that should be adopted by everybody.
(7:02) 15 accounts is too much. (7:03) Too much. (7:04) Consolidate that shit.
(7:04) There's a lot to be confused about.
Alan Lazaros
(7:06) So yes, go ahead. (7:08) No, no. (7:08) Well, I think this is a great episode.
(7:09) I just was curious. (7:10) I know we don't have a ton of time. (7:14) Start small and build.
(7:16) I used to like act local, think global. (7:20) I like that. (7:21) I do.
(7:22) I like it. (7:22) Where'd you get that from? (7:24) Years ago.
Kevin Palmieri
(7:25) From what?
Alan Lazaros
(7:26) I was reading a book. (7:29) No, seriously though. (7:30) No, I didn't make it up.
Kevin Palmieri
(7:32) Where's it from? (7:33) That sounds terrible. (7:33) Sounds like a Burger King manual or something.
(7:37) No offense to you.
Alan Lazaros
(7:38) Act local, think global. (7:39) That's really smart business advice.
Kevin Palmieri
(7:42) I don't like it. (7:43) What do you mean you don't like it? (7:44) I could, I don't know.
(7:45) I don't like it. (7:46) I don't know if I have the words.
Alan Lazaros
(7:46) You start small, locally, and then you think globally, like scale.
Kevin Palmieri
(7:53) Scale, baby. (7:55) I don't know. (7:56) That's exactly what we did.
Alan Lazaros
(7:57) That's exactly what we did.
Kevin Palmieri
(7:59) We started small and thought big. (8:01) Yeah, same thing. (8:02) Better, I'd say.
(8:04) Sure. (8:04) Because even that, even that's going to resonate with a certain, like if that doesn't resonate with you, I don't think it should. (8:10) I think you should have your own unique version of it.
(8:12) That's all.
Alan Lazaros
(8:14) Whatever, man. (8:16) All right, real quick. (8:17) Start small and build.
(8:19) I, so, fitness coach. (8:22) Awesome. (8:23) Cool.
(8:23) Did that for a while. (8:24) I remember thinking like, people would say, well, I'm going to start with two days a week. (8:29) And I remember thinking like, that's dumb.
(8:35) Now, the reason why I thought it was dumb at the time is because I knew it wouldn't get it done. (8:42) Two days a week isn't going to get you to your goal. (8:43) I now realize, I didn't know this back then, this is 11 fucking years ago, but I didn't realize that this person I was coaching has no idea how to get the result.
(8:52) She tells me a result she wants. (8:54) She wanted to lose 25 pounds. (8:57) And she's like, I'm going to start with two days a week.
(8:59) And I'm like, not a fucking chance. (9:02) It's, you can't lose 25 pounds healthily in exercise twice a fucking week, unless you're eating nothing. (9:10) And I knew her metabolism.
(9:11) I knew her metabolic set point. (9:12) I knew the numbers. (9:13) I'm not mad at her.
(9:14) I just didn't know she was so ignorant. (9:17) So, now what I would do, if I could go back in time, is I would say, you can start with two and then go to three and then go to four and then go to five. (9:26) Start with two, level up to two, ratchet it in.
(9:30) Then level up to three, ratchet it in. (9:32) Then level up to four, ratchet it in. (9:34) Start small and build.
(9:35) But if your goal is to stay at two, it's never going to work. (9:39) You're not going to lose 25 fucking pounds exercising twice a goddamn week and not dieting. (9:45) Now, you can do that if you diet, but your metabolism is going to be in the tank.
(9:48) I have a guy I'm coaching right now, he's an actor. (9:51) Shout out to you, brother, if you're listening. (9:52) He's doing 3,000 calories and he's barely gaining weight because he's revved his metabolism for the last decade.
(9:58) He's lifting heavy ass weight pretty much every day, six days a week. (10:03) Six days a week will get you there. (10:06) Six days a week will do it.
(10:07) Two days a week ain't going to do it. (10:09) It's not going to happen. (10:11) I didn't realize how few people know that.
(10:14) I exercise every day for 60 minutes a day and I still think I'm out of shape. (10:18) This is crazy how long it takes to be effective and successful. (10:22) If you want to be elite, two days a week ain't going to do it.
(10:25) However, if you want to be elite, you can start with two, go to three, four, five, six, eventually get to seven. (10:31) So my thesis, my conclusion, my anecdote, my goal is for our listeners to face the fact that, number one, you can't start something with the idea of stopping. (10:42) Number two, if you're going to start, make sure you don't start with sprinting out of the gate because you're going to gas out.
(10:49) And number three, if you do start, start small and, not or, and build. (10:55) You have to build. (10:56) I'm never going to stop exercising, never.
(11:01) My goal is to hold this fucking standard or increase it for the rest of my goddamn life. (11:06) And guess what? (11:07) I'll be in shape, reasonably in shape, for the rest of my life.
(11:10) Some problems are solved with a simple SOP you do every day.
Kevin Palmieri
(11:14) I was on a podcast one time, it was like a fairly high level business podcast. (11:18) And they said, what's your advice to business owners? (11:19) And I said, if you're thinking about getting out before you started, it's a terrible idea.
(11:24) And it wasn't for that subset of humans. (11:27) This is a subset of humans that buys companies, makes them better, and then exits them.
Alan Lazaros
(11:32) And I was like, fuck.
Kevin Palmieri
(11:33) The one time I used that, it didn't work. (11:37) You should have known. (11:38) I should have known better.
(11:39) I didn't.
Alan Lazaros
(11:39) I'm helping someone exit right now. (11:41) But he wasn't planning on exiting.
Kevin Palmieri
(11:43) But that's good advice 99 out of 100 times. (11:46) Like 99 times out of 100. (11:48) Not in that room.
(11:49) Not in that room. (11:49) If you're thinking about how it's going to end before you started, you're most likely not going to succeed. (11:53) And even in that room, honestly, how many of those businesses actually succeed?
(11:57) Very honestly. (11:59) I picture Kev, I know we got to go.
Alan Lazaros
(12:01) I picture Kev showing up at some boardroom with 100 business owners. (12:05) And on the title above the stage is mergers and acquisitions. (12:09) Kev is like, the number one mistake business owners make is having an exit strategy.
(12:15) Selling, selling.
Kevin Palmieri
(12:16) The issue is selling it, for sure. (12:18) Trying to buy it, get merged, acquisitioning. (12:21) You know, it's a whole fucking thing.
(12:22) Huge mistake. (12:23) In the business world, what are we doing here? (12:25) I realized pretty quickly I was in over my head.
(12:26) I was like, oh no. (12:28) It was a great interview though. (12:29) Great person.
(12:31) But the last thing before we get out of here. (12:33) Now Alex Formosy has a saying where he talks about, if you're trying to do a new habit, don't wait till life is easy. (12:40) You should be able to do it when it's hard.
(12:41) Because if you can do it when it's hard, you can do it when it's easy. (12:44) I understand. (12:45) And then when you dive into the data, he was like first in his class.
(12:50) I think he graduated college in three years. (12:53) He, you know, it's like, oh, interesting. (12:56) Okay, you're just, again, you just have super incredibly high self-belief.
(13:00) But then you look behind the scenes and it's like, oh, that's an indicator. (13:03) That's an indicator. (13:04) That's a result.
(13:04) Awesome. (13:05) I think if you can do it and you can make it easy. (13:10) When life does get hard, which it will, you will have developed the skills.
(13:15) You will have developed the resources. (13:17) You will have developed the grit, the discipline. (13:19) The courage to ask for help.
(13:21) The consistency. (13:22) The identity of somebody who can do it. (13:25) And you'll end up doing the thing.
(13:26) If you start too hard. (13:29) I, real quick, last thing. (13:30) I was a personal trainer back in the day.
(13:32) Fucking terrible. (13:33) Hated it. (13:33) Worst job maybe I've ever had.
(13:35) I've had some pretty shitty jobs. (13:36) Somebody came in. (13:38) Janet.
(13:39) I think her name was Janet. (13:40) Sweetheart. (13:41) Had never, hadn't exercised in a long time.
(13:44) Kev, Janet's your client. (13:46) Take care of Janet. (13:47) Awesome.
(13:48) We do air squats, push-ups, sit-ups, assisted pull-ups. (13:54) Some stuff. (13:54) Nothing crazy.
(13:55) Nothing crazy. (13:57) She cancels the next two sessions because she's so sore. (14:00) And I got, they were not happy with me.
(14:02) They're like, Kev, what the fuck are you doing? (14:03) It's like, I don't, we took it as easy as I could. (14:06) Now, I should have taken it easier for sure.
(14:09) Imagine if I like loaded up the bar and said, here we go. (14:12) Let's get, let's get after it. (14:14) Bad things would have happened.
(14:16) So like, you know. (14:18) Yeah, it's a good story. (14:19) You gotta pace yourself.
(14:20) Yeah, it's my mistakes.
Alan Lazaros
(14:21) Pace yourself and with the goal to eventually load up the bar. (14:25) Pace yourself. (14:26) If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you.
(14:27) That's all I'm saying. (14:28) So find the optimal challenge for you at the time and then keep leveling up. (14:31) This is next level university, not current fucking level university.
Kevin Palmieri
(14:34) Pace yourself, but plan on increasing the pace. (14:37) Yeah, nice. (14:37) That's it.
(14:38) Good? (14:39) Beautiful.
Alan Lazaros
(14:39) Yeah, that's right.
Kevin Palmieri
(14:39) All right, cool. (14:40) If you're trying to increase the pace of what you're doing, or you're trying to figure out where the pace should be to start, reach out to Alan. (14:46) Alan can help you with that.
(14:47) He works with people from all over the place. (14:49) Whether you're a new entrepreneur, whatever it is, or multimillionaire entrepreneurs that are trying to sell their business for probably a boatload of money, he can help you for sure. (14:57) I can't help you with any of that.
(14:58) If you're in mergers and acquisitions, you need some help, some business advice, high level. (15:02) I could probably squeeze some time for you. (15:04) $1,000 an hour is what I charge.
(15:06) Whatever is what it is. (15:07) Totally kidding. (15:08) Next level, next level of accountability group is a great place for you if you're trying to be more consistent in the gym.
(15:14) Nice. (15:14) Anything you want to add? (15:14) That's it, man.
(15:15) I got to go. (15:16) I was joking about the mergers and acquisitions meeting. (15:18) There you go.
(15:19) As always, we love you. (15:20) We appreciate you. (15:21) Grateful for each and every one of you.
(15:22) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there. (15:27) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (15:30) Next Level Nation.
(15:32) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (15:36) We love connecting with the Next Level family.
Alan Lazaros
(15:38) We mean it when we say family. (15:40) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (15:43) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.
Kevin Palmieri
(15:47) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.