Don’t Get Logic And Emotion Confused (2431)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros unpack what happens when emotion takes the lead in places where logic should be setting the direction. Drawing on their own experiences with fitness, finances, goal-setting, and years of coaching people through uncertainty, they break down why self-awareness alone is not enough. You also need the ability to read your emotions accurately and respond in a way that supports your long-term goals.

They explore rational thinking, emotional regulation, identity, performance, and the tension between short-term comfort and long-term results. If you have ever doubted your progress, questioned your instincts, or let a feeling overrule what the data was telling you, this episode will help you think more clearly and act with greater intention.

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

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Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:14) When progress does not feel real
(6:49) Using logic to avoid FOMO
(10:15) Recalibrating your emotional guidance system
(12:12) Overriding emotion for long-term goals
(19:01) Using accurate data to make decisions
(27:02) Are you head-heavy or heart-heavy?
(29:25) Prioritizing goals over feelings
(31:13) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I am convinced that your ability to decipher between logic and emotion are based on two things. (0:08) One, your understanding of what your normal emotional response is. (0:12) That's part one.(0:12) Part two, I don't think you can really have logic in something that you don't fully understand. (0:18) Where this episode came from was we were talking about if you track your weight. (0:23) But when you track your weight, logic and emotion are two very different things because sometimes logically the scale moves in a direction logically it shouldn't, but if your awareness is high enough you understand why.

Alan Lazaros

(0:35) I used to call it your emotional guidance system and how to attune your emotional guidance system with your goals. (0:43) A lot of times what's necessary to achieve a specific goal in the future, you actually have to override your emotions in the Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:54) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:56) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:59) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(1:05) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:12) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:28) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:34) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:40) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2431, don't get logic and emotion confused. (1:48) I am still dieting, but very honestly, I haven't been weighing myself, which I know that's like cardinal rule number one. (1:57) That's what you're supposed to do.(1:59) All my clothes fit differently. (2:01) I'm on a new belt loop for my belt, a new belt hole. (2:07) Logically, and again, maybe this isn't the best example, but I'm sure we'll find a better one.(2:14) Logically, I'm not tracking nearly as well as I was, I'm not weighing myself, I'm doing more cardio. (2:23) Emotionally, I don't feel like I'm making any progress. (2:26) And I think that's why fitness and weight loss and all that, just in general, is one of the harder things because we're so wrapped up in the logic versus the emotion of it.(2:34) But logically, my pants fit differently. (2:36) Emotionally, I don't feel like anything is happening. (2:38) What's the truth?(2:41) What's the truth? (2:42) And I'm telling you right now, I jumped on the scale the other day. (2:46) It's like I'm at 179, 178.(2:48) I'm at the same weight I was at the end of the 10 pound and 10 week challenge, but everything fits differently. (2:53) I'm more vascular. (2:53) What does that mean?(2:54) I can see my abs better. (2:56) Logically, I'm not losing any weight. (2:58) Emotionally, I feel like I look differently.(2:59) What the fuck? (3:00) Yeah, man. (3:01) So what is it?

Alan Lazaros

(3:03) This is a perpetual issue in fitness. (3:07) Perpetual issue in life. (3:08) I think fitness is a good area to hone in on because the head and the heart.(3:20) Way back in engineering school, I used to say, I'm so annoyed everyone always says to follow your heart, but don't forget to listen to your fucking brain. (3:30) I think follow your heart is a really cute and true quote when it comes to things that don't seem to make sense at the time, but you trust that they're going to work out. (3:53) Okay.(3:54) What's a good example? (3:55) I used Emilia as an example in the two episodes ago, my head. (4:01) So my heart said, yes, reach out.(4:04) I trusted that courageously. (4:07) Even though my head said, don't do it. (4:09) It says she has a boyfriend.(4:12) Facebook says in a relationship. (4:13) I now know women do that all the time. (4:16) So people leave them alone, which makes perfect sense.(4:18) Actually, it's very smart. (4:21) Yeah. (4:21) But anyways, so I reached out true or false.(4:24) You have a boyfriend. (4:25) I unsent a few messages and then eventually I said, screw it. (4:27) I don't care.(4:28) I'll be a homewrecker if I have to. (4:31) She said, true. (4:32) I'm in a relationship with myself.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:35) I'll be a homewrecker if I have to.

Alan Lazaros

(4:36) It is what it is. (4:39) Because what are the chances she's actually fulfilled? (4:42) Now that I've done so much relationship talks, coaching, someone being in a relationship doesn't even remotely mean within Hail Mary distance that they're actually fulfilled and in love.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:51) I would say that's very true.

Alan Lazaros

(4:52) It's been very alarming for me. (4:54) But anyways, so my head said, don't reach out. (4:59) She has a boyfriend.(5:01) My heart said, you got to reach out and at least check. (5:07) Now my heart also said, yeah, just give it a shot. (5:14) Give it a shot.(5:15) Okay. (5:15) I did. (5:15) Awesome.(5:16) When I met Amelia, my head was like, whoa, 3.92 GPA, Providence College, my heart and head were like, fuck yeah. (5:28) Everything was all in. (5:29) And you remember meeting her like a week and a half later, it was like we were married already.(5:33) Thanksgiving, right? (5:35) Friendsgiving. (5:36) Yeah.(5:38) And it's been beyond what I ever thought was possible from that moment to now, sincerely. (5:45) And I'm a man who believed in a lot. (5:47) I stopped believing that I was going to find my person.(5:50) I honestly did. (5:51) It was fucking terrible.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:52) It was a dark time there for a while.

Alan Lazaros

(5:53) Not good. (5:55) It's like Kev said to me one time, he's like, Alan, you're like really confident in most stuff. (6:01) You seem really not confident right now at all in relationships.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:05) Understandable though. (6:06) Understandable.

Alan Lazaros

(6:06) Yeah. (6:07) That's what you said. (6:08) You said understandable.(6:09) What I wanted you to say is, come on, man. (6:12) Where's that belief at?

Kevin Palmieri

(6:14) Well, I mean, you can only take so many L's in a row before you start doubting it, you know? (6:20) Taking at least one.

Alan Lazaros

(6:22) I've taken many. (6:23) But my point of this is head and heart need to agree. (6:26) So how do you, this goes back to the Venn diagram of the last episode, right?(6:32) It's maybe the heart wants to spend time with your family. (6:38) Maybe the head wants to achieve a fitness goal that requires you to go to the gym alone. (6:42) How do you reconcile these two?(6:44) I think that's exactly what we all need to do.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:49) I think you can avoid FOMO with logic. (6:52) Right now, the sexy thing is Substack. (6:55) You know what Substack is, I'm sure, right?(6:56) Yeah. (6:56) I got an email earlier. (6:57) Same.(6:58) I immediately unsubscribed.

Alan Lazaros

(6:59) Same.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:00) Don't you dare, probably from the same person. (7:01) Don't you dare add me to your- Yeah, beginning with a D? (7:03) Yes.(7:03) Don't you dare add me to your Substack. (7:05) I haven't even been on your podcast, so I don't know why you're adding me to your Substack. (7:09) That logically, emotionally, it's like, got to get on there, going to miss the fucking boat.(7:15) Everybody's on there. (7:17) Logically, to me, it's like that is just the next thing that 99% of people are going to try and fail at. (7:22) And I think that's one thing.(7:24) I think self-belief, you'll never get through an episode of NLU without me mentioning self-belief. (7:29) Self-belief allows you to, and maybe not just self-belief, but self-belief part one, understanding of the thing is another, it's another reason to learn about something. (7:41) Because logically, it's very hard to be overly emotional about something that you know a lot about.(7:50) And you kind of know like, this is true, this is semi-true, this is false. (7:54) Because then you're just looking at the numbers and you're looking at data. (7:58) That's why numbers are so important.(7:59) Because numbers allow you to break through the emotion and tap into the logic.

Alan Lazaros

(8:08) I have a client who has a son who's nine, and he had his first heartbreak. (8:12) Already? (8:13) Yeah.(8:15) It's a little one.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:16) Shout out, shout out.

Alan Lazaros

(8:17) Little heartbreak. (8:18) Shout out to this person, I know you're listening. (8:21) Not the nine-year-old, but the mother of the nine-year-old.(8:24) And I checked in, because we have a weekly meeting. (8:27) I said, how's he doing? (8:28) How's the little man?(8:29) She's like, he's fine the next day. (8:31) It's like, perfect. (8:32) Okay.(8:36) The example here would be, the heart was hurt, but the head was like, I'm going to be fine. (8:43) I'm nine. (8:44) Which one do you go with?(8:47) That is so the question. (8:50) That's so the question. (8:51) Which one do you go with?(8:53) Now, as a computer engineer, who's extremely analytical type A, I know, you got to go with the brain. (9:04) You got to go with the fucking brain. (9:06) Not in relationships though, always.(9:08) I wasn't done.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:09) Oh, sorry.

Alan Lazaros

(9:10) I said this to a client, exactly that. (9:17) He said, I think I told this story on the podcast. (9:20) I'm going to this meeting.(9:21) My company is going to be acquired. (9:23) Awesome. (9:25) Should I show him the finances?(9:27) And I said, it depends. (9:28) You got to feel the room. (9:30) Because if these people are not people that you vibe well with, I say, trust your gut with people, AKA your heart with people, and your head with business.(9:41) What happens when people in business are interconnected, which they always almost always are, right? (9:45) So if I weigh myself and I weigh 204.1, I don't give a fuck how I feel. (9:53) Well, I feel 210.(9:54) I don't care. (9:55) I don't care if you feel 210. (9:57) I don't care if you feel 200.(9:58) You're wrong. (9:59) You're 204.1. And you might have extra water, whatever. (10:04) That's all logic.(10:06) So how do you know when to trust your heart and when to trust your head? (10:09) How do you know when to trust your gut or your intuition or your brain? (10:12) How do you know that they're not the same?(10:15) And the emotional guidance system that I opened with, what I try to do with people, and I'm not sure how much people can or can't do this at this stage. (10:27) I'm not sure. (10:28) But I trained myself from 11 years ago to now to try to get my emotional guidance system in line with what is optimal.(10:39) In other words, I don't care if I made $90,000, $9,000, or $9,000, the principle of earning more than I spend is going to stay. (10:55) So my head says, I don't care if it's $9,000, $99,000, or $90,000. (11:02) It's the same principle.(11:04) That's head. (11:06) And what's the heart in that? (11:10) If I made $90,000, maybe I would do something to celebrate or whatever.(11:17) I don't know. (11:17) I wouldn't. (11:18) That's the truth.(11:18) I wouldn't. (11:19) I would do the exact same thing regardless of the amount. (11:22) And that's not the exact same thing, because what becomes optimal is different based on the amount.(11:28) But I'm overly logic. (11:29) And I don't mean overly. (11:31) I actually think most people are mostly emotional.(11:33) I would say 90% of human beings are overly emotional at the expense of rationality. (11:39) And I believe that to my fucking core. (11:41) And I think that the majority of people who want a quality of life to increase over time need to increase their rationality in order to do it.(11:51) Because rationality equals goal orientation. (11:55) And usually a goal orientation requires you to do things that the heart doesn't want to do. (12:02) Heart is feel.(12:03) Mind is think. (12:04) Nobody feels like running a seven minute mile. (12:07) Nobody feels like doing that.(12:09) It doesn't matter. (12:09) You have to override that.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:12) It's hard though, right? (12:14) Because not only are you saying no to the initial emotion, but you're saying no to all of the emotion that pops up while you're going through the logic. (12:25) So it's not like, uh, most things get easier.(12:29) Like an ice bath, the hardest part's jumping in. (12:31) After that, your body gets used to it. (12:32) You can, you can hang for a while, right?(12:34) However long that's obviously, you know, up for you and your skillset and all that happy jazz. (12:39) But like the worst parts of the beginning gets easier. (12:43) Gets easier.(12:44) I guess maybe a marathon's the worst because it starts easier and then gets harder as you go. (12:48) But like, you, you have to get through the point where one of the things I'm working through right now, and again, you've heard me mention this, but it's just a really good example for me, is logically when it comes to money, everything is different than it's ever been. (13:05) Emotionally too.(13:09) Money comes, we get paid once a month at NLU. (13:14) And when the money comes in, it's like, all right, that's the amount. (13:17) And this is how much bills and this is what will be left over.(13:19) Awesome. (13:20) But like throughout the month, there's high points and low points. (13:23) And it fucks with me still when I look at it and I'm working because emotionally it's like, well, that's less than I thought it would be.(13:30) Or there's more than I thought. (13:31) But logically at the end of the month, there's going to be an amount that's like logically the beginning of the month and the end of the month. (13:42) Those are the two things that matter.(13:44) Those are the two parts. (13:45) Those are the two things that matter. (13:46) That's the only real information that's not based on any level of feeling.(13:51) Right?

Alan Lazaros

(13:54) You remember way back when you did, oh boy, tell me. (13:59) You played guess who with Taryn and?

Kevin Palmieri

(14:01) I was like, oh my goodness. (14:03) This is a probability, like 36% of these people have mustaches. (14:07) So if I ask, then that's, but 60% of them have black hair.(14:12) I better ask if they have black hair because that'll, yeah, yeah. (14:14) Yeah, that was very different for me. (14:16) That is surprising.

Alan Lazaros

(14:22) Yes. (14:23) And alarming. (14:25) And, and I love you.(14:26) I love you too. (14:27) Yeah. (14:28) And I think episodes like this, my brain just breaks because it's like, brother.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:34) Well, it's so, so natural to you.

Alan Lazaros

(14:35) Yeah. (14:36) And, and that, if I did have a, if I had a gift, that is it. (14:47) Dude, if, if I just don't have whatever that thought process is, all of what you just said is like, dude.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:00) It's because I, the number, you know, the numbers. (15:04) I think when you know, it's, it's very easy to logic it. (15:09) You asked me this one time and again, I, I don't think you were really concerned, but you were, I was squatting heavy and you're like, dude, I don't, I get nervous.(15:17) Like when you stay at the bottom.

Alan Lazaros

(15:19) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:19) I wanted to hear your thought process.

Alan Lazaros

(15:21) Yeah. (15:22) But I, I for sure, if I squat that deep, I'm not going to be able to just sit there.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:29) There's no emotion because I know, I just know the numbers. (15:31) Of course I can do this. (15:32) I've done this 500 times.(15:35) I know I can do this again. (15:35) Logic.

Alan Lazaros

(15:36) So, and this is just new for you with the money. (15:40) So squatting isn't new and money is. (15:42) So eventually you'll be extremely rational with money.(15:46) So right now, that whole analysis you just gave seemed really irrational to me. (15:51) It is. (15:52) It is.(15:53) It's very emotional. (15:53) So what part of it is, is emotion?

Kevin Palmieri

(15:55) The feeling like anytime, like we used to do this all the time. (16:00) I would say I feel like, and Alan would say, I think. (16:02) Yeah.(16:03) And we were like, oh my goodness, I feel because I'm way more emotional. (16:06) Alan thinks because he's way more logical. (16:08) The, oh my goodness, there's X amount in the bank at this point in the month.(16:16) It just fucks with me because it's a timing thing of like money comes in and then money comes in here. (16:22) The way my bank account is set up, it's a whole thing.

Alan Lazaros

(16:25) I think more people are on your end and I think that that's why I'm trying to get you to explain it in a way, but I also want to add value to it. (16:32) It's like the plane when there's turbulence, you're still fine. (16:36) It just doesn't feel like you're fine.(16:38) I can override that. (16:40) Like remember the turbulence that was pretty bad on the way back from Florida? (16:43) Of course.(16:44) That one was like getting me a little where it's like, okay, I know the data, but this is pretty bad. (16:51) But that, you know, the data. (16:52) So I, but I don't let, I try really hard.(16:55) It's emotional mastery is predicated on you not letting external circumstances affect your internal emotions, but some should. (17:04) So you, if you're afraid of Gardner snakes, you're just irrational, like cut the shit. (17:08) But there are some things that can kill you.(17:10) So you should actually be like ticks. (17:12) It makes sense to be scared of ticks. (17:14) That makes perfect sense.(17:16) You can get Lyme disease and you never, you can't cure it. (17:18) It's, you will never see more irrationality. (17:21) What appears irrational with the tick.(17:23) I am, dude, every time I go in the woods, I'm Emilia and I full check, like Tucker the whole nine. (17:32) It's, you don't, I try not to waste conscious energy on things that aren't like emotions or energy, energy in motion. (17:39) You can't give a ton of emotion to something that isn't constructive.(17:42) You can, but it's, it's a really bad use of your only life force.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:45) But you've got, I'm telling you, that's the thing that you have is you have the data. (17:50) You have the, that's very new to me. (17:53) Like, um, earlier this year or last, I think it was last year, there was quote unquote, a bunch of plane crashes around the same time.(18:00) There wasn't really, statistically, there was no more than there has been on average. (18:05) Then why did people say that just to sell? (18:09) Because, uh, that probably, but also the algorithm, like the algorithms dialed more than it's ever been.(18:16) Right. (18:16) So, but like I went, first thing I did was like, let me go do some research to see if there's any difference based on previous years versus this year. (18:25) And there wasn't.(18:26) So. (18:27) You figured it was climate change or something? (18:29) No, I figured maybe it's just a fucking unlucky year.(18:33) Like how our average is made up highs and lows. (18:35) Maybe it's just a high year. (18:36) I don't know.(18:36) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(18:37) But based on. (18:39) You think people will not go on planes? (18:40) I bet you the planes, the airplane companies definitely had a drop during that time for sure.(18:44) It would make sense. (18:45) But it's irrational to do that. (18:47) So now we get free, not free, but we get cheaper plane tickets if you're rational.(18:51) Right.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:52) So that's the piece that, but I think it's based on data and then the interpretation of the data and where you get the data.

Alan Lazaros

(19:00) Exactly. (19:01) It's, you have to get accurate data. (19:03) No, you have to interpret the data accurately.(19:05) And then you have to do something with that data and it's past, present and future. (19:12) It is really hard to explain. (19:14) And the book rationality is, I think the most important book ever written.(19:20) I don't know if I'll call it my favorite book anymore because I realize now that it's written in a way that's very not constructive for everybody. (19:28) But like, I do think it's the most important concept. (19:32) I think rationality is the most important concept.(19:35) I don't think you can be successful and be irrational. (19:38) I'm extremely irrational in certain areas. (19:41) Like, what's a good example?(19:48) I get, okay, you say, well, Alan, they don't believe in themselves. (19:52) So of course they don't believe in you. (19:54) That's very rational.(19:56) But it feels personal and it bothers me so much. (20:00) Now, fortunately, I took that and made it motivating, but still it.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:06) Isn't it like how much of it's just attached to the pain? (20:11) That's never been a pain for me. (20:13) So it's so easy to just logic and be like, dude, I don't fucking, I don't believe in myself.(20:17) Who the fuck else is going to believe in me? (20:19) Why would anybody else believe in me? (20:21) I don't believe in me.(20:22) You know, like logically, if I came up to you and I was like, dude, I don't think I can do it. (20:29) You would have to be highly illogical to be like, I think you can.

Alan Lazaros

(20:33) I think you can. (20:34) I said that.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:35) Well, I think you can.

Alan Lazaros

(20:36) No, but I, that's exactly it. (20:37) It is, it's based on the, what's called pain bodies and pain bodies are just trauma in your central nervous system and in your subconscious and unconscious mind. (20:47) That's why therapy has so powerful because you either aren't rational and you fit in easily or you're hyper rational and don't fit in with anyone.(21:03) So, which makes you irrational in relationships. (21:08) You ever watched the Big Bang Theory? (21:10) Yeah.(21:10) No. (21:11) Enough to understand what you're doing, where you're going with it. (21:14) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:15) Tara and I watched a little bit, like, I don't know, it's easy. (21:18) It's 30 minutes. (21:18) It's supposed to be funny.(21:20) It's not for me, but there was definitely pieces where it's like, that's something Alan would say for sure. (21:25) Alan would definitely, just like- Sheldon, right? (21:29) Sheldon.(21:29) I don't even, all of them. (21:30) They're all, I mean, they're all like genius level physics, right? (21:35) Just like, I'm going on a date.(21:36) What do you think of this outfit? (21:38) No, I wouldn't wear that. (21:39) That's terrible.(21:39) Like, there's no way you should wear that. (21:41) That type of just- Yeah, it's the best. (21:43) Logic.(21:44) But to your point, yeah, it makes you definitely an outcast in society.

Alan Lazaros

(21:49) Even though we should be aspiring to that. (21:55) Can you imagine when you and I first met nine years ago? (21:57) Alan, I feel like you're too rational.(21:59) No, Kevin.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:01) You're irrational as fuck. (22:03) Yeah, but if I knew how rational you were in the beginning, I don't know if it would, like, it was good that I didn't know how rational you were because it was a bridge. (22:11) Good for you.

Alan Lazaros

(22:12) I don't know if it was good for me. (22:13) That's fair. (22:14) It has been with you, but I joked with Kev earlier.(22:17) I said, if I was an investor and the people I've invested my time and effort into were companies, I'd be the worst investor in history.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:24) You'd be bankrupt many times.

Alan Lazaros

(22:25) Yeah, many times. (22:26) So, I just have to be more rational about people because I didn't understand how few people really will change. (22:35) I mean, I remember I told you.(22:37) What?

Kevin Palmieri

(22:37) I've always been hyper rational.

Alan Lazaros

(22:39) Because you also were one of those people who, like, struggled to change.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:45) That, but, like, we'll have conversations, like, logically. (22:50) Not emotionally. (22:51) Like, yeah, there's a story of, uh, whatever.(22:54) My story, quote, unquote. (22:55) That's all emotional. (22:56) None of that's really logical.(22:58) Logically, the fact that I made it here is just insane to me. (23:02) And that's why I'm always, not that I don't believe in you if you're out there. (23:05) That's not what I'm saying.(23:07) But it's really fucking hard to succeed. (23:12) It's not easy. (23:15) Yeah.(23:15) Like, the numbers of it. (23:17) Like, how many people start and how many people make it and how many people then sustain it. (23:20) It is just not a big number.

Alan Lazaros

(23:23) To be completely, like, this is the irrational in me. (23:26) I don't think it's that hard. (23:30) Like, it's not that hard.(23:31) But I also.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:34) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(23:34) I. (23:38) It's good, though. (23:39) This is a good conversation.(23:39) It is. (23:40) It just sucks because it's like, I don't mean it. (23:43) I don't mean it's not hard.(23:44) I just mean it's.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:48) What's harder? (23:49) What's harder than being successful? (23:51) What's a good thing for you?(23:57) Relationships. (23:58) So that's I think that's a good thing to understand. (24:03) Yes.(24:03) Because there's a there's a downside with the upside for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(24:10) There's a psychosymmetric personality tests that do agreeableness, conscientiousness, all these different spectrums. (24:23) If you're on the top percentile of all of them and you're I'm not because agreeableness, not necessarily, but. (24:34) You are just like the percentages are just like fitting in is impossible for me.(24:41) Now, I've practiced it tremendously so I can do it if I want to. (24:46) But it's. (24:47) It takes a piece of me.(24:49) Remember when you said this success journey has taken a piece of you'll never get back?

Kevin Palmieri

(24:53) Pieces, baby.

Alan Lazaros

(24:54) I feel that way with relationships. (24:58) Me trying to be friends with certain people took parts of me I will never get back. (25:03) It's like we have nothing in common.(25:06) I I'm so different than you. (25:09) It's not even funny. (25:10) And I I think as I've matured as a man, I just leaned into that and I'm leaning into that more and more and more.(25:16) But, dude, like I can't relate at all to what you're talking about with finances. (25:19) Like it's just all numbers. (25:20) It's like seriously, Alan, you'd treat nine dollars the same as 90 grand.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:27) Yes, I've seen you do the same.

Alan Lazaros

(25:29) Yeah, the same principle would apply.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:32) And you to me, it's like an alarming degree. (25:34) It's like, I mean, we think I think about it a little more. (25:37) No.(25:37) OK, cool. (25:39) So we're good.

Alan Lazaros

(25:39) OK, nine versus 90 versus 900 versus 9000 versus 90000. (25:44) You treat them all the exact same. (25:46) The truth is, is like you won't have 90000 unless you treat nine like it's 90000.(25:51) And that's that's a whole nother conversation. (25:53) But yeah, logic and rationality, I think, are more rare and more important for success. (25:58) And I think it makes relationships more difficult because you have less in common.(26:04) Like I've never done trends. (26:05) I've never the banjo minnow, dude, I was like eight. (26:09) Like, of course I fell for that.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:11) Well, you wore Abercrombie, didn't you?

Alan Lazaros

(26:13) Yeah. (26:14) Yeah. (26:15) But I mean, it was a short time.(26:17) And I had a friend who remember S.A. is his initials. (26:24) Yeah. (26:25) Come on.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:26) You got better than that. (26:27) Oh, yes.

Alan Lazaros

(26:28) Yeah. (26:28) You know, you know. (26:29) And he said I would he said it would work.(26:32) And it did. (26:33) He's like, you'll get you want to get girls. (26:34) This will work.(26:35) And it did. (26:37) You know, so I was experimenting. (26:40) I didn't do that because it was trendy.(26:43) And I probably did that because I wanted to fit in. (26:46) I wanted his approval. (26:47) I wanted to try to fit in.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:49) You know, he was a wild human. (26:51) This person was a wild human.

Alan Lazaros

(26:54) Not the right person to try to fit in with.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:56) No.

Alan Lazaros

(26:56) Which I learned.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:57) Well, no, I kind of he fit in really well.

Alan Lazaros

(26:59) Yeah, it depends. (27:00) It depends. (27:02) But honestly, to be continued head and heart, which one are you heavier on?(27:06) If you're heavier on the heart, you fit in very well in relationships. (27:09) You have a great social life, but you're probably irrational and you struggle with goals. (27:14) If you're head heavy and you're an engineer, you probably have great goals and conscientiousness and metrics and you understand and you're very rational and you get on an airplane and turbulence doesn't bother you because you know it's all math.(27:27) But you probably struggle to coexist with other human beings and all everyone has one or the other. (27:34) Everyone.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:35) Well, good practice. (27:36) This is what we'll end with is figuring out if one of those annoys you. (27:42) So the bad guy in all the movies is always logical.(27:46) He's never emotional. (27:47) Now he is emotional, but he's always logical. (27:49) It's always like the guy in the mansion who gives it straight and blah, blah, blah.(27:55) So if that's the type of person, guy or gal, depending on the movie, but statistically it's usually a guy. (28:01) If that pains you or you have trauma associated with that or whatever it is, you're probably not going to want to become that. (28:09) And then vice versa.(28:10) If you're in relationships, obviously you have to. (28:12) You can't always. (28:13) I said this to somebody one time.(28:15) I was like, I understand. (28:17) Logically, this is the best move financially, but your partner is so far on the other end, like you, you're going to have to explain it masterfully or you're going to have to do the 99% logical thing, not the 100% because it's trying to bring somebody way to the end that they've never been like they don't fully understand. (28:37) So that's a potential to create distress.(28:42) So there's lessons in this for everybody. (28:43) Okay. (28:44) One of the best parts of having a coach is they will logic your emotion.(28:49) They don't know necessarily what you feel. (28:51) They look at the data. (28:51) They look at the numbers.(28:52) Alan is the guy very clearly, you know, he is logical to a very strong degree, but that has been tremendous for me still working through my own stuff. (29:00) But Alan has helped me tremendously when it comes to logic. (29:02) So reach out to Alan for coaching.(29:04) And if you are struggling with fitness, one of the reasons is you probably get emotional about the journey. (29:10) Be in a group of other people that are maybe dealing with the same thing. (29:13) And not everybody in next level fitness accountability group is super logical when it comes to it.(29:16) They're working through it. (29:17) So if you want to work through that with other people, reach out to Alan and or myself, the group is totally free. (29:22) No strings attached.(29:23) We would love to have you.

Alan Lazaros

(29:25) And if you want to coach, I will help you prioritize your goals over your feelings. (29:33) And maybe for some people, that's the first time you've ever really done that. (29:37) But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing.(29:39) Your emotional guidance system can get recalibrated toward goals. (29:43) So if you're usually present moment first, future second, I can help you reorient to future first, present second. (29:50) And it's unbelievable how much can change for you.(29:53) And I'm not going to tell you it's going to be easy because rewiring that is hard, but you either spend the rest of your life stuck, not feeling in control of your own future, or you reorient this and I can help you do that. (30:05) I'm not expecting you to be Spock or like me. (30:06) I'm not expecting you to treat 90 grand the same as you treat $9.(30:10) But what I am saying is you can definitely increase logic and goal orientation. (30:15) I've seen it thousands of times. (30:17) And we can also pick goals that are at the level you want to get to that's actually constructive for you.(30:23) I have done a lot of thinking lately about all my 33 clients and what level they each want to get to versus what level they should shoot for based on their core values and their emotions and their logic. (30:35) And it's changing. (30:37) It's been amazing.(30:38) It's been tremendous. (30:38) So do not climb Mount Everest if you are super emotional and want to spend a ton of quality time with your family. (30:45) That's that's a bad idea.(30:47) And if you care about goals and dreams more than family, then shoot as high as possible and everything in between. (30:55) So it's all unique to you. (30:57) Everyone can be better than they are today.(30:59) Not everyone should climb Mount Everest. (31:00) And that's very, very clear to me at this point.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:03) Documentary about a Sherpa that climbed Mount Everest 10 times. (31:06) I haven't watched it yet. (31:07) Can't vouch for it.(31:07) That's pretty fucking crazy. (31:09) So that's that's on my watch list for sure. (31:12) All right, cool.(31:13) As always, we love you. (31:14) We appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you. (31:16) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(31:23) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.

Alan Lazaros

(31:26) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:28) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (31:32) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(31:34) We mean it when we say family. (31:36) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (31:40) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(31:43) Thank you again. (31:44) And we will talk to you tomorrow.