Clarity Disappears As You Make Progress (2435)

What if feeling less clear is actually proof that you’ve outgrown what used to work?

In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan break down why progress can make clarity harder, not easier. With years of coaching, thousands of episodes, and real-world experience helping people make better decisions, they explain why growth often brings more pressure, more options, and more identity friction. The more you evolve, the more you have to decide what still fits, what needs to go, and what deserves your full focus.

They talk about self-awareness, goal alignment, identity, decision-making, and why action only creates clarity when it is followed by honest reflection. If you are making progress but feel less certain, this episode will help you understand why. The next level may not require more effort. It may require more precision.

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Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

Join the "Next Level Fitness Accountability Group" – Reach out to Kevin or Alan on Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
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Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:19) Action only works with reflection
(5:09) Identity shapes better decisions
(10:54) Letting go of what almost works
(12:29) Aligning results, process, and identity
(17:40) The three forms of clarity
(19:03) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) You would think as you become more next level and as you get closer to accomplishing your goals and as you get more confident, you would get more clarity. (0:10) And I'm telling you, one of the surprises of this journey for me has been the more quote-unquote successful or whatever, the more we accomplish, whatever it is, right? (0:20) The less clear I feel at times because it seems like there's way more to do than there's ever been, but there's also way less you should be doing than you've ever done.

Alan Lazaros

(0:32) We talk about belief all the time. (0:34) We talk about how it's necessary to set goals, have high standards, get to the next level. (0:39) One of the things that creates belief in achievement is clarity on what you want to achieve.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:47) Clarity can increase your self-belief. (0:50) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:53) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.(0:55) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros. (0:58) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(1:04) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:11) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:27) Self-improvement in your pocket every day from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:33) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:39) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,435, clarity disappears as you make progress. (1:47) I had a call with a client.(1:49) You know this client because you were on their podcast and you guys were two peas in a pod. (1:55) You very much got along with this person. (1:58) I had a call with them the other day and they said, yeah, we want to go in a new direction with the podcast.(2:05) We have some ideas. (2:06) I want to run it by you. (2:07) I said, awesome, cool.(2:08) I said, remember when we talked six months ago and I told you you have to figure out what it is that you do and what your one thing is? (2:13) Where are we on that? (2:15) And they said, oh, I haven't made any progress.(2:17) I said, this is a waste of time. (2:18) We're wasting our time. (2:19) Until you have that, I don't care about anything else.(2:22) Until you have a level of clarity of what you are and who you are and the problems you solve, the rest of it, you're just throwing darts in the dark and it doesn't, it's not going to matter. (2:32) I can tell you that with certainty. (2:33) Go ahead.(2:33) You want to say something?

Alan Lazaros

(2:34) Well, one, the thing I was going to say is fairly irrelevant, but it's, I hate when, I don't hate, I dislike it when I don't know who you're talking about. (2:43) Um. (2:44) Give me something that would help me.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:46) I don't, I can't. (2:48) I got nothing.

Alan Lazaros

(2:49) Okay. (2:50) That's number one. (2:51) Number two is I was on with someone earlier and we, I said, the goal of this meeting is going to be just giving you clarity because this is a free 30 minute breakthrough session.(3:06) And I, this person's in group coaching and I'm not going to want to want to coach this person until maybe after the program. (3:13) It turns out my camera is still doing the thing. (3:17) Anyways, that's neither here nor there.(3:19) The point I'm making on this breakthrough session though, is she said action creates clarity. (3:30) Yes. (3:31) Yes, it does.(3:33) But when do you, action creates clarity when you do action and then reflect. (3:41) And I said this to her, I said, you need to take action, then either delete or double down, then take action and then delete or double down, then take action, then delete or double down every time you take action. (3:52) And I don't want it to sound like you go to the gym once and then delete it.(3:55) I, you need to run things for a long enough period of time to figure out whether or not they're for you. (4:01) Like, I don't know why I always think of tennis. (4:03) I was never into it.(4:05) So you got to play more than once before you figure out whether or not it's for you, but you can't play for five years and then go, I think this was a fad. (4:13) You can, but that's a waste of time. (4:15) Right?(4:15) So what's the optimal stopping problem on deciding whether or not to delete something? (4:20) And I said, you have to give up to grow up. (4:21) And I said, the higher you aim in life, the more you're going to have to give up to get there.(4:25) I believe in that more than I ever have. (4:28) I have 34 clients now, and the people that are aiming the highest are the ones who are going to have to give up the most. (4:33) You're not going to be able to play pickup basketball every Saturday and achieve that.(4:38) And I've gotten much more realistic, I guess is the right word with that. (4:42) And I'm constantly looking for things I can delete back to the point of this episode, though, there's different types of clarity. (4:49) All right.(4:49) So what types of clarity are there? (4:50) There's clarity on your core values. (4:53) There's clarity on your goals.(4:55) There's clarity on the approach. (4:57) I think those are probably the three you really need to start with. (5:01) Like, what do you want to achieve needs to be, I would do this.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:07) I think you should start there. (5:09) There's got to be clarity on identity too. (5:11) Yeah.(5:12) That's where they're all connected for sure. (5:15) They're all, that's, that's the thing is like, this person is extremely successful. (5:18) They are extremely intelligent.(5:20) They are super next level. (5:22) And this is the hangup. (5:24) What is it that you do?(5:27) Just tell me that. (5:28) Well, like I do this. (5:30) Nope.(5:30) What is it that you do? (5:32) What is the common through line of all the things you've ever done? (5:34) Give me that until then we can't.(5:38) Clarity is a blueprint, but that blueprint comes after you say, well, I want a four bedroom house and I would like it in this state. (5:46) And I would like it in this town. (5:47) I would like it in this neighborhood.(5:49) And I'd like it to have this many garage bays and maybe a pool, whatever that before you build the blueprint, you need clarity.

Alan Lazaros

(5:58) And we had a million, I had a client couple and we set three year goals. (6:06) So they're going to get engaged, engagement, party, wedding, buy a home, crush it, did all of it. (6:14) The longterm vision, the 10 year vision was to have a farmhouse.(6:21) They wanted land, they wanted chickens and goats and all kinds of stuff. (6:27) And as they got closer and closer and closer to buying a home, and then after they bought a home and this wasn't the farmhouse, but like we used to call it horsey farm. (6:36) That's, that's the label.(6:38) So in 10 years, you guys want the horsey farm. (6:40) And whenever someone tells me their goals, I leverage that for them. (6:43) Meaning like most of what I say is disappointing news.(6:48) So I have to say, if you want to be a millionaire, then X, Y, Z. (6:52) So I love when people tell me what they want. (6:54) Cause now I have permission to tell them all the truth.(6:56) They don't want to hear. (6:57) Whereas if they don't tell you what you want, you kind of, it's like, what do you mean? (7:01) Why are you telling me that I have to work out?(7:02) It's like, well, you told me you have a goal, right? (7:05) So that's why I always start with goals. (7:07) Cause if you don't know your goals, you don't know what to do and what not to do.(7:10) But anyways, so the point I'm making with that is the horsey farm changed the female in the relationship. (7:17) This was relationship talks, coaching said, you know, we have a dog. (7:24) It's a lot of work.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:28) I don't know if I want this farm. (7:31) I thought recently I would really like a horse for some reason. (7:35) I was like, I feel like they're just like big dogs.(7:37) Kinda. (7:38) I don't know anything about them, but that'd be cool.

Alan Lazaros

(7:42) Yeah. (7:42) Uh, it's a whole thing. (7:44) I believe it.(7:45) And again, as if I've had horses, Emilia had horses growing up and I've picked her brand upside down and sideways about it. (7:51) And we will eventually, but I think a lot of people start out like I want X, but they don't know the beneath that iceberg, the YWXZ that comes with it. (8:05) And then when you're an adult, you go, okay, I want X.(8:10) Oh, so there's like a shitload of work on a farm. (8:16) Yeah. (8:17) And by the way, I know this is going to, I'm going to sound like a prick here for a second.(8:21) Did you not fucking think of that? (8:23) Like, seriously, I, maybe this is a me thing. (8:26) I just want to say this.(8:28) I don't think, I don't say, Hey, I want to be a really world-class successful business owner and then not think about everything that comes with that.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:38) It's a lot of things are, I mean, I don't have kids. (8:42) I don't have dogs. (8:43) I have cats.(8:44) It's dude. (8:44) It's way more expensive than I thought. (8:46) The cat food is way more expensive than I thought.

Alan Lazaros

(8:50) Okay. (8:52) Again, let's discord. (8:59) When you set a goal, like when you said you want to start a podcast, you really just thought about starting a podcast.(9:05) You didn't think about everything that comes with that. (9:08) Yeah. (9:08) Is that just an awareness thing?

Kevin Palmieri

(9:11) I think it's a, probably a good thing. (9:15) No, I think it's, I think so. (9:17) I'm telling you naivete when you dip your toe in and then you get in the pool, if you knew what it was like to get in the pool, I don't know.(9:22) I think some people wouldn't do it.

Alan Lazaros

(9:25) So yeah, so many people, there's a, there's another downside to that, which is so many people go on a journey for five years and then they're like, Ooh, I don't know if I really like horses.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:35) Step one is identifying, identifying who you are in this situation. (9:39) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(9:39) Maybe, maybe this is what it is from now on, before you set a goal, get clarity on not just the good parts. (9:48) Like there was a house, we were looking at it. (9:50) It was built in 1994 and I was like, absolutely not.(9:54) Absolutely not. (9:55) It was gorgeous house, right? (9:56) This was, I mean, it was perfect except for the fact that it was old.(10:00) And again, that's not that old. (10:01) Like anyone with a house that's like older is probably thinking I'm a dick. (10:05) I just, I'm not a project guy.(10:08) This is self-awareness. (10:09) I have clarity on who I am. (10:10) Clarity on what I do.(10:11) Clarity on what I do best. (10:12) Clarity on what I don't like. (10:13) Clarity on what I do like.(10:15) You can't make good decisions without clarity. (10:17) So if I buy a house that was built in 1994, I know what comes with that. (10:22) There's going to be a lot of projects that I don't want to do when I would rather grow my company and or pay someone to do it.(10:29) And I want a new build. (10:31) So, so 2015 or newer. (10:35) Now I know that sounds really entitled.(10:36) The truth is my priorities are growing the company, not fixing the whatever deck. (10:43) And I just know that about myself. (10:46) So you almost can't set goals without knowing yourself in a way.(10:50) Otherwise you end up setting the wrong goals.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:54) That's massive for sure. (10:56) The point for me in this episode is simple. (10:58) The more successful you get, the harder it is to stay clear because there were a lot of things that worked along the way.(11:06) Hypothetically, you and I have made a lot of decisions over the last couple of weeks. (11:10) We had a conversation the other day and I was like, I don't know, man. (11:13) I think, I think I need to pivot this.(11:16) And you said, are you, you sound like you're scared. (11:18) And I said, yeah. (11:19) And you said, well, it doesn't mean it's the wrong thing.(11:20) I think it probably means it's the right thing. (11:22) It's not that I want to do it. (11:23) I think I just know I'm supposed to.

Alan Lazaros

(11:26) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:26) I think I'm upset on that at some point. (11:28) I literally meant to write that down for one of these, but I forgot, but definitely we'll do an episode on that. (11:33) Versus want to before bed.(11:35) But I think that's one of the really hard things is like, we'll use us as an example, but use yourself nine years coming up. (11:44) It'll be 10 years soon. (11:47) Like it's crazy to me how fast it's happening.(11:49) We've done a lot of stuff that didn't work. (11:52) We've also done a lot of stuff that kind of did work. (11:55) And then we did some things that worked really, really well.(11:58) It's hard to be clear about when to let go of something that's like kind of working for the thing that's really, really working. (12:04) And then you got to double down on that. (12:06) And then, then it's like, well, who am I though?(12:09) I used to be this person and I put a lot of effort into that. (12:12) And that didn't really seem to work. (12:14) Yeah.(12:14) There was a lot of benefits of it, but I'm not going to do that anymore. (12:17) So am I no longer that person? (12:20) How do I let go of that identity?(12:22) So I think it really is. (12:23) It's a very complicated thing that I don't know. (12:27) I think we try to overly simplify.

Alan Lazaros

(12:29) Remember that we taught this in group coaching back in the day, James Clear talks about this in Atomic Habits. (12:38) Three circles, the outer layer is results, the next layer in his process, and the next layer in his identity. (12:45) One of them is his idea in Atomic Habits.(12:51) It's not really his idea, but there's another book called Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg, that is very similar to Atomic Habits, by the way, but they're both great and read them both. (13:04) But clarity on all three is really important. (13:10) However, it's almost like if you get any of the three wrong, you can't achieve the thing.(13:21) So for example, if you're clear on who you are, but not clear on what you want, you're not going to do what's necessary to get what you want. (13:28) If you're clear on what you want, but not on who you are, you're going to do things that aren't aligned with who you are, and you're going to be unfulfilled. (13:35) I think if you want to be successful, you can just get clear on what you want and force yourself to do it, but you'll only reach a certain level that way.(13:43) Whereas someone who really wants to do it, and it's aligned with who they are, is going to crush you. (13:48) Versus someone who, I guess that's what I would say, is clarity on the results, clarity on the process, and clarity on who you are. (13:56) And all three have to be more and more and more aligned over time.(14:00) And if what you do is a vote for who you are, and what you do is a byproduct of what you want, your goals, then these are all super connected. (14:09) And that's as simple as I can make it, because there's a lot of other layers. (14:11) There's process goals, and there's philanthropy goals, and there's results goals, and there's growth goals, and there's skill development goals, and all this different stuff.(14:19) But to make it simple, the outer layer is results, the inner layer, the middle layer is process, the inner layer is identity. (14:27) What he says in the book, and in a speech that I love, is that, okay, person one says, I want to quit smoking. (14:36) That's the result.(14:38) Person two focuses on tracking the days they haven't smoked. (14:41) That's the process. (14:42) And then person three says, I'm not a smoker.(14:45) Just jump right to, I'm not a smoker. (14:47) That's the identity level. (14:50) And then you won't crave cigarettes as much.(14:52) That's his thesis. (14:53) I actually think it's a little oversimplified, obviously, but I'd say so. (14:57) Yeah.(14:57) But, but the truth is, is that eventually what you do does become a part of your identity. (15:02) And then when you give it up, who are you?

Kevin Palmieri

(15:05) That is the heart. (15:06) I think that's one of the reasons it's so hard because I'm going to not go on podcasts as a guest. (15:11) Like I was the podcast guy.(15:13) Like there's, I'm work, Jesus, I keep smacking this. (15:16) I'm working through that. (15:17) Like, what does that mean about me?(15:18) Does that mean I'm not the podcast guy? (15:20) Alan's going to be on more episodes than I am. (15:21) What does that mean?(15:22) Are people going to know? (15:23) Are they going to think I don't know anything anymore? (15:26) That's all going on in my head.

Alan Lazaros

(15:27) That's all going on.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:28) I appreciate your honesty. (15:29) Those, is that an actual fear? (15:31) Yeah, for sure.(15:33) It's not, again, it's hyper, hyper illogical. (15:37) Like, Oh yeah. (15:38) Cause you stopped after it's more than 3000.(15:42) It's 3500 ish. (15:45) How often do you have to stop your brain from thinking that kind of stuff?

Alan Lazaros

(15:50) More often than I wish. (15:52) It's like, for sure. (15:55) I, yeah.(15:55) And it's another episode, but we should, we should really talk about that at some point. (16:02) Like the rationality piece, because how much of that stuff do you entertain?

Kevin Palmieri

(16:05) We just did.

Alan Lazaros

(16:05) We just did an episode of rationality. (16:07) Kind of, sort of. (16:08) Like three days ago.(16:09) Yeah. (16:09) But, but don't get logic versus heart, heart versus head real quick. (16:15) How often do you have those like ridiculous thoughts?(16:19) I feel like you're telling me more of them lately.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:21) So often I get a really nice message from a client. (16:24) They were like, Kev, you're absolutely crushing it. (16:26) And I was like, fuck it.(16:26) I needed that. (16:27) Cause I feel like a loser. (16:31) I feel like I'm never doing good enough.(16:32) We should talk about that. (16:34) I know we can't right now, but you're the most successful you've ever been. (16:38) By far.(16:39) I told you, and we're going to do an episode on this. (16:41) I'm yeah. (16:42) And I'm more afraid to lose it all.(16:45) That's so terrible. (16:46) That sucks. (16:46) No, it's really good.(16:47) You're going to see in our next episode for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(16:50) I don't, I am not convinced that that's good. (16:52) That means the more successful we get, the more fearful you get.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:56) To a degree.

Alan Lazaros

(16:58) Brother, that's not true for me at all.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:00) I know, but I think if we both felt the way I did, we'd be screwed. (17:04) No, no, no.

Alan Lazaros

(17:05) I do agree that there's, there's, but that's something we should talk about because you're telling me the more successful we get, the more fearful you are to lose it all.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:16) I, to a degree. (17:16) Yeah. (17:17) Yeah.(17:18) To a degree. (17:18) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(17:20) Cool. (17:20) Next episode. (17:21) You want to do that for the next episode?(17:23) Next episode. (17:24) Is that what you want to do? (17:26) Yeah.(17:27) Isn't that what we're doing? (17:28) Kind of. (17:29) How to stay humble, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:30) Yeah. (17:30) Yeah. (17:31) Don't give away the fucking episode before.(17:33) Whatever, man. (17:34) Nobody will have reasons to tune in. (17:35) That's not true.(17:36) What's the, what's the quick takeaway? (17:38) Maybe that is true.

Alan Lazaros

(17:40) Takeaway is you have to have clarity on those three. (17:44) You have to have clarity on what you want in life goals. (17:47) Future.(17:48) You have to have clarity on the process to do it, which is the, how you need to learn how to do it. (17:55) Otherwise you just can't do it. (17:57) And then, and then you have to have clarity on who you are and acceptance of that so that you can kind of align that them.(18:06) Do you have to accept that you're inconsistent by nature and that self-discipline is hard and you have to work on it? (18:10) Or do you have to accept that self-discipline is easy and nobody likes you? (18:13) Like you have to accept who you really are.(18:17) That is like, so what I'm going through right now.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:21) Same, but different. (18:23) Same, but different. (18:24) Mine is the more progress you make, the harder it is to lock down what made the progress.(18:30) That's why I think clarity is so hard as you get more next level, next level, next level. (18:34) Okay. (18:34) If one of the things you're focused on, which obviously it is, is getting more next level, make sure you reach out to Alan for coaching.(18:40) He will help you way more than this podcast ever could. (18:42) We do our best to make this podcast as valuable as humanly possible. (18:46) And I do believe it is, but when you're behind the scenes with someone and they can ask you specific questions, is it identity?(18:50) Is it process? (18:51) You know, obviously that's going to make a bigger difference. (18:53) And then next level fitness accountability group.(18:55) If you're looking to level up your fitness, reach out to Alan and or myself. (18:58) It's a free WhatsApp group, no strings attached. (19:01) We just want to help people get to the next level when it comes to fitness.(19:03) As always, we love you. (19:04) We appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you. (19:06) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(19:13) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (19:15) Next level nation. (19:17) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(19:21) We love connecting with the next level family.

Alan Lazaros

(19:24) We mean it when we say family. (19:26) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (19:29) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(19:33) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:34) And we will talk to you tomorrow.