How To Decipher Good Advice From Bad (2438)

What if the advice holding you back sounds reasonable because it matches what you already want to believe?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan challenge the way most people judge advice, especially when they are still unclear on their goals, values, standards, and current circumstances. Not all advice is useful. Some of it sounds smart, feels validating, and still moves you in the wrong direction.

This conversation breaks down how to filter guidance through self-awareness, personal values, decision-making, work ethic, identity, and long-term success. You will hear why context matters, why easy answers can be dangerous, and why the right advice must match the person receiving it, not just the person giving it. If you want better outcomes, stop collecting opinions and start building the discernment to know which ones deserve your attention.

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Show notes:
(2:26) Advice must match core values
(4:18) Circumstances change the answer
(7:48) Define success before seeking advice
(11:32) Belief, effort, and knowledge gaps
(18:36) Why easy answers feel convincing
(22:49) Advice disconnected from reality
(24:19) Beginner advice versus advanced advice
(26:00) When going all in is wrong
(30:02) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) There is no shortage of advice, which means there most likely is no shortage of bad advice. (0:08) But, if you're getting the advice for the first time, how do you know whether it's good or bad? (0:13) The reason you're asking is because you don't know.(0:16) And if you don't understand how to decipher between terrible advice and really good advice, you're gonna end up wasting a lot of time listening to people that you probably shouldn't listen to. (0:25) You have to know what you want.

Alan Lazaros

(0:27) You have to know how to get what you want, and the advice you get about what you should go for, how you should go about getting it, how do you know if it's sound or not? (0:41) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:43) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:45) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros. (0:48) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:55) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:01) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:17) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:24) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:29) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2438, How to Decipher Good Advice from Bad, I have a client that we just got recently. (1:40) And they sent me a 16-minute audio message today, and I was like, oh boy, here we go. (1:45) Hang on.(1:46) And essentially, this person is newer to the podcasting YouTube space, very successful in their professional life, but they're trying to transition their professional life into where they want to go. (1:57) Begin with an M. (2:00) Mmm, no.(2:02) No, you don't, you've never heard of this client. (2:06) Yeah, I keep things.

Alan Lazaros

(2:08) New?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:08) Brand new? (2:09) Very new. (2:10) Nice.(2:11) Yeah, very new. (2:11) Great, great human. (2:12) Strong organ.(2:12) Huge fan of this person. (2:14) They need a business coach or? (2:15) At some point.(2:17) Nice. (2:17) Yeah, at some point. (2:18) Right now, I'm the business, I'm the podcast coach, the speaking coach, the business coach.(2:21) Whatever, you know, whatever it is, tag me in. (2:23) I got, I can help you. (2:24) I can help you.(2:26) This is something I take, I feel a very heavy responsibility when people ask me for advice to try to give them the best advice possible. (2:34) Because I don't want to be the guy who misleads people. (2:37) Let's define that.

Alan Lazaros

(2:38) I know you want to go into your story, but what is best? (2:41) What does good advice even mean? (2:43) That's what I want to land on first.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:45) That is the point of this entire episode. (2:46) I think it is advice that is aligned with your core values, advice that is aligned with your core values. (2:57) The effort?(3:00) No, I can't do that. (3:02) The best answer is the advice that is based and aligned with your core values. (3:06) That's the best answer I have.(3:10) Great answer. (3:11) Because outside of that, I could say, well, the amount of effort you want to put in. (3:13) No, because if you come to me and say, I want level 10 results, but I only want to put in level four effort, and I say, yeah, you can do that with level four, that's bad advice.(3:21) Agreed. (3:21) That's not good advice.

Alan Lazaros

(3:25) You're just missing one piece, which is critical. (3:29) Which is it has advice that actually works. (3:32) Well, yeah, of course.(3:34) No, no, no, no, no, no, but here's the thing. (3:36) That's what I want to land on. (3:37) Most of the advice you get actually won't work, but by the time you figure that out, but why won't it work?(3:44) Because it is not accurate. (3:49) Because it's not aligned with the person or I always have to go here with this metaphor. (3:56) Self-driving car needs an accurate current location, accurate destination location, and then it needs updated data of the terrain, and then it has cameras all around it.(4:05) So if one of the cameras is occluded, that's what they say, the camera is occluded, it'll shut down self-driving. (4:12) So annoying. (4:13) But of course, because if it can't see, it can't do it.(4:16) So blind spots. (4:18) The best advice is the advice that's custom to your goals and your core values and the amount of willingness and effort you're willing to put in. (4:30) It's also, it's customized to your circumstances.(4:34) Remember when I told you way back three or four years ago, I had a client who was 90k in debt that I found out later on and I was like, no, all the advice I gave you was wrong then. (4:47) Suboptimal. (4:48) Someone 90k in debt, credit card debt, what is optimal for them is very different than someone who is $50,000 cash on hand debt free.(4:59) Those are two completely different circumstances. (5:01) It could be the same person, but every decision you make needs to be predicated on the circumstances. (5:06) Like if I haven't eaten in three weeks, I shouldn't be on this podcast.(5:10) I should go eat. (5:11) Right? (5:12) All good decision making is predicated on your circumstances and your core values and your goals.(5:20) And lately I've been doing this with clients. (5:21) It's like we do this rating system of personal, professional, and self- personal, professional, and social development and we have five categories under each. (5:29) We're going to do an episode on that at some point.(5:31) And we always make a decision before we do this assessment. (5:34) I did this with one of my clients yesterday. (5:36) We're benchmarking this against your goals, not statistically, because statistically you're green in all these.(5:41) I don't really care. (5:43) It doesn't really matter because the purpose of this coaching is to get you to your goals. (5:49) Communication skills, read if you want to be a world-class speaker.(5:56) Green if you just want to talk to people, right? (5:59) So it all depends on what you, uh, what your goals are and what your circumstances are. (6:04) And I think advice is almost never filtered through that, which is why it's so bad.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:09) Evan, Evan Carmichael has this thing where he says, if I was in your skin, if I was wearing your skin, if I was in your skin, I think is what he says. (6:16) Meaning like I'm going to try to give you, it's super creepy, but I'm going to try to give you advice not that I would give to myself in your position that I would give to you in your position. (6:26) And I always really appreciated that.(6:28) I think that's really good. (6:29) I think it's a really good frame. (6:31) It's like if I was you, not if I was you as me, if I was you as you.(6:37) And those are two very different things. (6:38) Very different. (6:39) Very different things.(6:40) And I don't think enough people understand that. (6:41) That's part one. (6:43) I don't know.(6:44) I think one of the things is it has to be advice that you'll actually do. (6:51) We have a client. (6:52) I love this client.(6:54) I've spent a lot of time working on this client's social media to help them. (6:58) And like, it just literally got to the point where he's like, I understand what you're doing and I know why you're doing it. (7:04) I don't, I'd rather you just do it.(7:05) It might not be as good. (7:07) It might not work as well. (7:08) I don't care.(7:08) Just do it this way. (7:09) Like, all right, cool. (7:10) Done.(7:11) My advice to you is that's suboptimal based on my experience, based on what I've seen with clients, based on what I understand about human psychology and algorithms. (7:19) It's probably not going to work, but you'll feel better about the product. (7:22) Yes.(7:22) Yep. (7:23) Cool. (7:23) We'll do that.(7:25) It's my advice to you is I would reset your goals and how we measure success because it's not going to be how I would measure success. (7:34) As long as that's okay with you, that's totally fine. (7:37) Did I interrupt your original?

Alan Lazaros

(7:39) Most likely. (7:40) What was your main point of that at the beginning, the opening? (7:45) Before I basically said, let's define what good advice is.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:48) This client sent me a 16 minute audio message and it was essentially asking for advice on 15 different things, which I love. (7:54) It's my favorite types of messages. (7:57) And I said, I can't give you advice until I understand what you want.(8:01) Nice. (8:01) I can't. (8:03) I can't give you advice until I understand what you're actually trying to get out of this.(8:06) I can't give you advice on what success is until you define what success is for me from your perspective. (8:12) And then I can give you my perspective.

Alan Lazaros

(8:16) There's a problem. (8:17) Go ahead. (8:18) Just found it.(8:20) That's predicated on someone actually knowing what they really want. (8:23) That, well, yes, and?

Kevin Palmieri

(8:25) And the byproducts of that. (8:26) Well, that, so you can go into that after though. (8:29) Right?(8:30) Like when somebody says what they, what they think they want, then you can say, okay, well, just again, from my perspective, yeah, what you want is this, what comes with what you want is this. (8:40) It is a whole fucking thing, huh? (8:41) It is a whole, that's what I'm saying is like, there is no, yeah.(8:46) Easiest thing. (8:46) If somebody gives you advice that is wildly outside of your core values, that is fundamentally bad advice for you and, or misaligned with your goals. (8:55) Well, but you don't know that.(8:57) Yeah, I know. (8:58) But you do know, if somebody says like, hey, oh, oh, you care a lot about people. (9:03) No worries.(9:04) No worries. (9:04) No worries. (9:05) No worries.(9:07) Okay. (9:07) This is a watch. (9:09) And all you have to do is sell, sell one of these to your friends and then get that friend to sell eight of these to somebody else and then get that friend to sell 16 to somebody else.(9:19) And honestly, like these don't even fucking work, but it's fine. (9:23) Like if you get enough people through the door, there's just so much momentum. (9:26) You'll be racking in the money.(9:28) If you're a relatively good human being at all, you're going to say no, that ain't it for me. (9:34) That ain't it for me. (9:35) But if you're a dingus or a dingo or a chungus, you're going to say hell yeah, that's the key to getting money from me.(9:44) There's a million ways to make money. (9:48) You can make, there's a lot of ways, there's infinite, yeah. (9:51) And there's a lot of ways, a lot of those ways are misaligned.(9:55) So if somebody comes to you and says this is how you do it, I don't know. (9:59) I think that's like the easiest. (10:01) If there was a check, if we had like a checklist, one aligned with my core values, that's where I would start.(10:07) When are you going to figure out the mic is bigger? (10:09) I didn't hit it, did I?

Alan Lazaros

(10:10) Yeah, you did.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:11) It's because of my biceps, man. (10:14) Because of my biceps. (10:15) You just keep hammering the mic.(10:17) Saren today said your back looks like it's getting bigger. (10:20) And I said it's not, it's definitely not because I'm eating less than I need, but. (10:24) More cut though.(10:24) I'm getting leaner, which makes it look bigger, which is always good. (10:28) So yeah, I don't, if there was a checklist, number one would be core values. (10:32) Maybe number two is like, if it sounds too good to be true, what I always say is if it reaffirms what you already believe, but there are circumstances where that's true.(10:46) Yeah. (10:46) So like, I don't know. (10:48) I don't, I'm afraid to, on an episode about how to decipher good advice from bad, to give bad advice on how to decipher it.(10:55) I'm afraid, I'm nervous. (10:57) Very humble of you. (10:59) Well, we just did an episode on how to be the most humble person ever of all time.(11:03) So that does track.

Alan Lazaros

(11:05) Yeah, nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:08) Uh, How do you know? (11:10) What is your checklist? (11:11) I don't have one.(11:12) I, I don't fucking know. (11:13) When, in retrospect, this is a good, this is a good exercise. (11:17) In retrospect, when you look back, give, don't give me an actual example, but in the bucket of bad advice that you have given to others, what is there, what is the one, two, three commonalities of those in that?

Alan Lazaros

(11:32) They were predicated on, uh, beliefs, uh, self, a level of self-belief and self-advocacy. (11:36) They didn't have, you already knew that answer. (11:38) Well, that's one.(11:39) Give me two more. (11:41) Oh, they were predicated on my work ethic. (11:46) No, they were not predicated on my work ethic.(11:48) They were predicated on me thinking that they weren't lazy as shit. (11:53) Okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:55) But yeah, that's not really gonna work. (11:57) Because from your perspective, I know.

Alan Lazaros

(12:01) Yeah, it was predicated on, uh, work, they, all the advice that I gave was predicated on someone having more belief than they really had. (12:10) All the bad advice. (12:11) I've given a lot of good advice, okay?

Kevin Palmieri

(12:13) But of the bad advice that I've given over the last 11 years, I'd say 90, 99% has been good. (12:17) But there, I don't know about that, but 95% has been good. (12:19) 95% I would say, yeah.(12:20) There's got to be a commonality within the 5%. (12:22) Yeah. (12:23) It's, it's not understanding.

Alan Lazaros

(12:26) This is scary to share, but this is really the fundamental reason two, two things were happening. (12:34) One is other people were showing me the best version of them. (12:39) And two, I was naive as fuck.(12:42) What could they have done better? (12:44) Be vulnerable. (12:45) Tell me you don't believe in yourself.(12:47) Don't act like you want to be a billionaire when you don't. (12:51) That, dude, I've had dozens if not hundreds of people tell me they want to be a billionaire. (12:55) There's only 3,600 billionaires on planet earth and more than half of them were not self-made.(12:59) They were generational wealth. (13:01) Like, I didn't understand that people were just saying stuff. (13:07) They were saying what they thought they were supposed to say based on some shit they heard on the internet, or, or maybe they thought that that's how to fit in or whatever.(13:15) Like, how many people have come to you and said they want to be a billionaire? (13:22) Uh, far less than you, like a handful, probably. (13:26) Okay.(13:26) How many of them do you think actually will be? (13:28) Zero of them.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:30) Yeah, of course. (13:30) How dare you? (13:32) Oh, okay.(13:33) Yep. (13:33) No, you never came to me and said you wanted to be a billionaire. (13:36) Zero of them.(13:37) Exactly zero people who have come to me.

Alan Lazaros

(13:39) How do you know? (13:40) How do you know? (13:43) The numbers?(13:44) I'm going to tell you this story because this is really funny. (13:47) I had a client way back. (13:48) This has got to be, I don't know, more than six years ago.(13:51) I want to have the most successful video production company in Canada. (13:55) I was like, done. (13:57) Awesome.(13:58) Sweet. (13:58) British Columbia pictures. (14:00) Looked up all their stats.(14:02) You should have seen, we had, we're tracking 38 things. (14:04) I had him dialed, dialed, crushing it, right? (14:08) Crushing it, growing his company.(14:10) Eventually he burnt out. (14:11) He's like, he's like, dude, I don't want to do this. (14:13) This is terrible.(14:14) And I was like, well, you said you wanted the most successful production, video production company in Canada. (14:19) It's like, from my perspective, you can't do that unless you do all this. (14:24) And he's like, and I showed him the revenue of British Columbia pictures.(14:29) And he's like, oh, I don't want to fucking do that. (14:32) And I was like, oh, so you just said stuff. (14:35) This is going to come off pretentious.(14:36) I know that. (14:36) I don't know if I care anymore. (14:38) You can't say you want something and then not research what it's going to take.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:44) Like, I think in an ideal world, you would have already researched what it took. (14:49) I can't even believe like, but again, that's projection. (14:52) Yeah.(14:52) Can you imagine if I had no idea how many billionaires there were? (14:55) I can't imagine if you didn't, but I can imagine most other people.

Alan Lazaros

(15:00) I didn't know when I, when I decided we to be successful in this industry, I studied the entire industry. (15:06) I could name you 50 people. (15:09) That would be tough.(15:10) 30 famous successful podcasters that, that came before us and their careers. (15:17) I could tell you their whole careers, you know, why is that? (15:21) Why am I saying that?(15:22) Because you don't just like set a goal and then, and then like hang out. (15:29) You, you, uh, you have, every time you set a goal, you immediately get to work.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:34) I think it's harder. (15:35) Do you think it's harder now? (15:36) It's easier than ever also, but also harder than ever to research how people go to where they are.

Alan Lazaros

(15:43) Again, that's, I'm reading between the lines. (15:47) Yeah, yeah, but I, that's a, that's a blind spot for you. (15:50) I know.(15:51) And all of this is, that you asked me for my list, three blind spots. (15:54) Belief people didn't have, work ethic people didn't have, and, and research people didn't have. (15:59) Like dude, I, I went into, 11 years ago when I started Alan Lazarus LLC, before you and I teamed up, I already had a global perspective on business.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:10) Alan Lazarus LLC, right there.

Alan Lazaros

(16:11) Nice. (16:12) Dude, is the, a relic.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:14) Is there a lapel in that thing? (16:16) No, there used to be. (16:17) No, this is where I keep my memory cards and you can't have it back.(16:19) This is my memory card holder and I need it. (16:22) There's many memory cards in there.

Alan Lazaros

(16:23) Remember when I messaged you about the lapel for your phone?

Kevin Palmieri

(16:26) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(16:26) I think it's in that.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:28) No, I'm, I'm, I've, I've had this for like six years. (16:31) I'm, I'm 100% certain. (16:32) It's not because I use it every day for, Oh, it was in there at one point.(16:36) It's a little product placement right there. (16:38) Memory, memory cards.

Alan Lazaros

(16:39) That's Alan Lazarus LLC. (16:40) That, that logo means infinite growth.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:42) Which you'll never learn in school, but you desperately need to know. (16:45) Would you love to hire us to speak at your school? (16:47) No.(16:48) Damn.

Alan Lazaros

(16:49) But yeah, so bad advice. (16:52) Let's go back to that. (16:54) I gave bad advice presupposing people knew more than they really knew.(16:59) There was a knowledge gap, a work ethic gap, and a belief gap that I just did not believe existed. (17:05) And, and a lot of people act like they know more than they really do. (17:10) They're very insecure about not knowing.(17:12) I I had no idea how much people like hide their incompetence. (17:18) Like if you say an acronym, I don't know. (17:20) I'm going to ask you.(17:21) I have a question. (17:22) Yeah, you've seen me get buckets of advice. (17:25) Oh, yeah, it's my favorite.(17:27) What? (17:27) Especially when you're ahead of somebody, but they don't know it. (17:30) It's my favorite.(17:30) You're just like, listen, I know that you think that I haven't like faced my past, but it's the best. (17:36) One of my favorite things of all time because you're like trying to be kind, but part of you wants to tell them to fuck off.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:43) I, it's just the like, it, for some reason when you're getting that, it always just drags on. (17:49) It's not like, it's not like, hey, this, these are the three things I would do. (17:53) It's like you just get pulled through the ringer.(17:56) Yeah. (17:56) How does it make you feel when I say that? (17:58) It makes me feel this way.(18:00) And what if that wasn't true?

Alan Lazaros

(18:01) Yeah, what if that wasn't true?

Kevin Palmieri

(18:02) That's the story you're telling yourself. (18:04) It's like, no, that was a story I was telling. (18:05) No, no, I know.(18:06) Yeah, yeah. (18:06) I did this when I was like 22. (18:08) You know, like I understand you're doing this for the first time at 40 and that's awesome.(18:13) But like I, I've been, I've been through the dad shit, you know, I've been through it. (18:18) I met him, you know, more than the loss. (18:21) Yeah, trust me.(18:21) I'm there. (18:22) Yeah. (18:22) What, but what if that has to do with your dad though?(18:25) Yeah, everything does and nothing does at the same time. (18:28) What advice, what was the commonality for the negative advice that I took? (18:33) When did I get advice that was bad for me?

Alan Lazaros

(18:36) Oh, whenever anyone convinced you, oh, it's so brutal. (18:38) This was so hard for me. (18:40) Hit me with it.(18:41) People would convince you that you could like make money easily. (18:44) It was all the time. (18:45) You know why?(18:46) Because I wanted to believe it was true. (18:48) Yeah, but that's also naive. (18:50) Yeah, it's fine.(18:51) Just like I wanted to believe it was true that everyone, you know, had big goals and dreams.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:54) But I think that's, that's why I'm so big on, if somebody tries to sell you on an idea that you're already heavy into, it most likely is bullshit.

Alan Lazaros

(19:02) Yeah, yeah, 100%.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:03) Because if you already had the idea that was correct, you'd be successful already.

Alan Lazaros

(19:08) I've said this so many times before and I love this. (19:11) I think it's a big breakthrough, even though I don't think people will like me for saying it. (19:16) You are not not more successful.(19:19) So anyone out there, imagine you're not successful. (19:21) Okay, whatever. (19:22) Picture your goals and dreams.(19:23) You're not there yet, right? (19:26) The reason you're not there yet isn't because you don't believe enough in what you already believe. (19:30) You already believe the things you believe.(19:33) The reason you're not more successful is because you have blind spots. (19:36) You are inaccurate in your understanding of yourself, others, and the world. (19:40) There is no exception to that.(19:42) You and I are not at the next level yet because we are we are missing something. (19:52) We have inadequacies. (19:53) We have weaknesses and blind spots and lack of acceptance and daddy issues and all this stuff.(19:59) Imagine, you know what it is? (20:01) I feel like we should just believe more in what we already fucking believe and I feel like we're just gonna keep winning. (20:07) That's the dumbest shit ever.(20:09) That's why I can't stand overly validating podcasts. (20:13) Because the reason you're not more successful is because you've been overly validated most likely. (20:19) Like the truth is all of you out there, myself included and Kevin, and I know this is going to sound weird because I have high work ethic in quotes if you're on YouTube.(20:27) I'm lazy. (20:29) I'm lazier than I need to be. (20:31) That's a fucking fact.(20:33) I'm not joking. (20:34) For my goals. (20:36) For my goals.(20:37) I'm not lazy statistically. (20:38) I'm lazier than I need to be for my goals. (20:41) Trust me.(20:42) I'm not 10 out of 10. (20:43) Okay? (20:45) But that isn't fun.(20:47) No one wants to hear, hey, you're actually pretty lazy compared to what you need to be in order to be successful. (20:54) But guess what works? (20:56) Work.(20:57) Like all of us can be more successful. (21:00) Here's the magic bullet. (21:01) Ready?(21:02) Work more often. (21:07) All of us will now be more successful. (21:09) I understand.(21:09) I understand. (21:10) But that doesn't sound like good advice. (21:12) Because people are like, oh, well, are you a workaholic?(21:14) No, I have bigger goals than you.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:17) Well, here's the thing though. (21:18) Like that's, I think that's where the core value thing is. (21:22) Yeah.(21:22) Like they, uh, you shouldn't Jesus.

Alan Lazaros

(21:26) You know what it is, Kev? (21:27) You just don't believe in R&R enough. (21:29) That's the problem.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:30) That's true. (21:31) That's true.

Alan Lazaros

(21:31) Yeah. (21:32) I wish you, I wish you ate more. (21:34) If you just ate more and like hung out more, your goals and dreams, dude, they would just start happening.(21:39) I think I can give it a shot. (21:40) Isn't it hilarious to even like joke about that? (21:44) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:44) I hope everyone knows I'm joking. (21:45) You know, one of the wonky things is dude, you know, many clients I've had, and this, this is a little more businessy. (21:51) If you're not an entrepreneur, it might not, but stick with me.(21:54) There's a, there is a point to it. (21:56) So many of my clients are like, yeah, I think I want to do like the high ticket thing. (21:59) Like I'm going to do like high ticket sales.(22:01) I'm gonna have like a $25,000 package. (22:02) It's again, I, I love that. (22:06) And how did you happen upon that?(22:11) You just like decided you were going to do that? (22:14) Was there any, oh no, I read a book that said that's how I should do it. (22:19) Oh, okay.(22:21) Do you know why the book sells? (22:23) Because that's what the book tells everybody to do. (22:26) So like, you know, that's not going to work, right?(22:30) And that's like most likely not going to work for you. (22:32) Why is it not going to work? (22:32) Be very direct.(22:34) Because nobody knows who you are. (22:37) Nice. (22:37) You're not that good at your thing yet.(22:39) Nice. (22:40) Nice. (22:41) And with all due respect and all the love in the world, you wouldn't pay you $25,000.(22:46) Why the fuck would anybody else? (22:47) Nice job.

Alan Lazaros

(22:48) Why would anybody else?

Kevin Palmieri

(22:49) That's world class right there.

Alan Lazaros

(22:50) If I could pick a clip, I would post that. (22:52) No one would love it. (22:53) I, I, why the fuck would I pay you 25 grand?(22:58) Like think about that. (22:59) What would you have to do for me to pay you that kind of money? (23:02) Like you got to be out of your mind with that.(23:05) Listen, no, but that's common advice. (23:10) It's the worst advice. (23:11) I know long sad history of bad advice.(23:14) But what I'm saying is that's the, that's the part. (23:18) That's a mortgage on a million dollar home. (23:21) You're going to give me a million dollar home then.(23:24) Go build it for me.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:25) Yeah, 30, 30 years, you know, over 30 years, you could probably acquire that.

Alan Lazaros

(23:29) I just, it's not connected to any reality. (23:32) It's not connected to any reality. (23:33) We have a client who charges that much, but he's been in business for 16 years and he's one of the best in his industry.(23:40) And it's, it's not every job. (23:44) Some of the jobs are 1200. (23:46) Some of them are freaking 500.(23:48) Some of them they lose money on. (23:50) Exactly. (23:50) Like a good percentage of them, probably like 15%.(23:53) It's called a lead loss. (23:55) But nobody knows that, right? (23:57) So if you're in the beginning, you're just so preyed upon.(23:59) In the beginning, when you need advice the most, it's when you get the worst advice. (24:04) It's so backwards. (24:05) Everything's paradoxical.(24:06) It's just like when you need money the most, no one wants to give it to you.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:09) I'm telling you it's because What time, how many minutes do you have? (24:15) Are we past? (24:16) Five minutes ago.(24:17) Five minutes ago. (24:17) All right, we'll wrap it up right after this.

Alan Lazaros

(24:18) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:19) I had a call with a client the other day and I said, you're at the stage where you have to do less but better. (24:28) That's where you're at. (24:29) You got to get rid of this shit, throw the shit overboard that's not serving you and then do the things, do the paddling really well.(24:34) Awesome. (24:35) Love it. (24:35) Nice.(24:36) Here's the thing. (24:37) If you're coaching somebody who just started and you teach them what you just learned, they're fucked. (24:45) They're absolutely fucked.

Alan Lazaros

(24:47) I have four clients. (24:48) Get rid of the bad ones. (24:49) Okay, I got rid of two of them.(24:50) Worst idea ever. (24:51) Terrible. (24:52) You can't.(24:52) Terrible. (24:53) If you have 400 clients, yes, you have to consult. (24:56) I think Circumstance, that goes back to what I said at the beginning.(25:00) Circumstance changes the advice.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:02) I know, but I feel like I feel like you have to get really good at reading the person that's giving you advice.

Alan Lazaros

(25:10) Yeah, I agree.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:10) I think that is the most, maybe the most important thing.

Alan Lazaros

(25:13) And if you're going to give advice you have to get really good at reading the person you're giving it to. (25:17) Both ends.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:17) Yeah, both. (25:18) There is responsibility on both ends. (25:21) There's responsibility to give good advice and there's responsibility to reject bad advice because I had a moment where I sent a very similar message to somebody else but talking to them about what I told them and I said, you're not at that position yet.(25:33) Nice. (25:33) You're not at that position. (25:34) You can't You have to figure out what your leverage is.(25:37) You don't know yet. (25:38) We don't know. (25:39) I can't tell you to throw anything overboard.(25:41) We have to pull more things on board to see what works. (25:43) Yeah, it's a whole thing.

Alan Lazaros

(25:44) I was on with a client right before this. (25:45) I know we gotta go.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:46) Yep.

Alan Lazaros

(25:47) On with a client right before this. (25:51) He's an entrepreneur. (25:52) Doing very well.(25:54) Awesome. (25:54) Great. (25:55) Great.(25:55) Great. (25:56) Has a full-time job too. (25:58) Great.(26:00) I said verbatim, I'm not sure. (26:03) Now this is going to sound like I'm picking on Kev, but he will, I want his truth after this. (26:08) I'm not sure.(26:10) So Kevin and I were reckless. (26:12) We went all in on the company. (26:15) Over, we invested all of it back in the company.(26:17) No safety net, no other job, no side income, no side nothing. (26:21) This was it from the get. (26:23) 11 years ago, no one has paid me for 11 years, okay?(26:27) Only I have paid me for 11 years. (26:30) I had a client who, he's like, I don't know why I signed up with you because I knew nobody else had paid your paycheck for at the time, I think it was eight years or something like that. (26:40) I know you're listening brother.(26:41) And I was like, yeah, it's a good point. (26:45) That's cool. (26:46) Like no one else but me has paid me for 11 years.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:49) For the vast majority of it, you weren't even paid at all. (26:52) The boss was a dick. (26:54) The boss wasn't paying me any money.

Alan Lazaros

(26:56) But my point is, I said you should not quit your job. (27:00) Here's why. (27:01) You identify a lot with Kevin's core wound.(27:04) You struggle at times with self-belief. (27:07) I don't know if Kev would have made it. (27:09) No.(27:10) Okay. (27:10) Okay. (27:11) I appreciate that.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:11) That's the worst idea ever.

Alan Lazaros

(27:13) Right. (27:14) Worst idea ever. (27:14) And I used to think, and you and I had a short time in our life, where we would give that advice.(27:20) You gotta go all in. (27:21) Bad advice. (27:22) Bad advice.(27:23) I do actually think it's good for a select few people. (27:26) I don't think I would have been as successful if I didn't go all in. (27:29) I think I needed that necessity.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:32) I don't think I would have been either. (27:33) I just think I would have a much healthier perspective on myself if I didn't go all in.

Alan Lazaros

(27:38) But if you didn't have me and we went back and coached you, I would have said, keep your job as long as possible, build this on the side, and then it will reach a cross point where it's safe enough. (27:52) But the reckless shit you and I did, I think for a very select few people like me and one of our clients that I'm thinking of, that actually would work. (28:02) Because he's out of his mind, psycho-driven in the best way, and he's just gonna find a way to make it work.(28:10) And even if he has to sleep in an abandoned building, he will in a heartbeat. (28:13) As a matter of fact, I don't think that would be very different from his childhood based on what I've heard, but keeping that anonymous. (28:18) The point is, is like, I would if I have to.(28:21) And I don't think everyone's wired that way. (28:23) And all advice needs to be predicated on how you're wired, and your circumstances, and your goals, and your core values. (28:31) And it's very hard when you're reading a book to filter all that out for sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:38) And like the book, I don't know. (28:41) There's no guarantee that it's actually meant to help you that much.

Alan Lazaros

(28:45) Here's what you can guarantee.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:47) It's designed to sell books. (28:48) Yeah, it's designed to sell books. (28:51) The point of the book is to sell the book.(28:54) And if enough of them sell, you can just say they've sold. (28:58) You know what I mean? (28:58) I've never heard anybody say, yeah, we've sold a million, and it's got a 4.7 on Goodreads. (29:02) I've never once heard anybody say that, ever. (29:04) I have no idea. (29:05) No clue.(29:06) Just like, no, no, we sold five million copies. (29:09) It's like, well, that's vetted. (29:11) I might as well buy that and give that a go.(29:13) All right, we're going to freaking The Secret, one of the best-selling books of all time. (29:18) It's not great. (29:19) It's not a good book.(29:20) It's not great.

Alan Lazaros

(29:21) Wildly detrimental, if not taken with a grain of salt.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:24) And yeah, as with everything, as with everything. (29:26) Okay, if you are looking for good advice based on thousands, and thousands, and thousands of coaching calls, and case studies, and all the stuff Alan has, reach out to Alan. (29:36) Alan can help you more than anybody else on the planet.(29:38) If you're looking for a group of humans who are super into fitness, and there's not a lot of advice in the Next Level Fitness Accountability Group, because it's more about accountability and being there to support people. (29:48) But you can ask Alan advice. (29:50) You can ask me advice.(29:50) You can ask other people advice. (29:52) And it's going to be good advice, because any time advice is given in front of a giant group of people, it's usually pretty good, because people think multiple times before they give it. (29:59) So reach out to Alan or I.(30:00) We'll let you in the Next Level Fitness Accountability Group. (30:02) As always, we love you. (30:03) We appreciate you.(30:04) Grateful for each and every one of you. (30:05) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the Next Level, make sure you tune in tomorrow, because we will be here every single day to help you get there. (30:11) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.(30:14) Next Level Nation. (30:16) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (30:20) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(30:23) We mean it when we say family. (30:25) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (30:28) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(30:32) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.