Gratitude Isn’t Enough (2444)

What if the biggest threat to your growth is the comfort you already earned?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan challenge the idea that gratitude alone will keep you grounded, focused, and moving forward. They break down how complacency starts, why success can quietly lower your standards, and how ambition, measurement, humility, and consistency protect long-term progress.

This is a clear look at the difference between being grateful and getting comfortable. If your results matter, your standards need to be reviewed, not assumed. Check them before comfort starts making decisions for you.

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Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

Join the "Next Level Fitness Accountability Group" – Reach out to Kevin or Alan on Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

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LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:28) Why gratitude is not enough
(5:02) Benchmarking against your real goals
(7:47) The hidden arrogance behind complacency
(14:17) Why awareness prevents drifting
(21:45) Measuring progress keeps you honest
(23:42) Consistency is the separating factor
(26:47) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I think one of the reasons complacency is such a challenging thing is if you knew it was happening (0:07) you would stop it and therefore it would not be complacency it would be a choice (0:11) and I think that's one of the hard things about you've heard me say the word when we talk about (0:16) complacency drifting you don't know you're drifting until you look up and see how far (0:20) from shore you actually are and I think complacency is the same exact thing I don't always think (0:24) it's intentional I honestly think it's rarely intentional but it's very easy to fall victim to

Alan Lazaros

(0:30) it's not natural to seek harsh feedback I was doing a timed mile recently and I thought I was (0:38) running pretty fast and I looked down and it's like okay my pace is 940 and it's like if anyone (0:45) wants to eat humble pie and get out of complacency go time your mile problem is if you're in (0:52) complacency you're not going to do that welcome to next level university I'm your host Kevin

Kevin Palmieri

(0:57) Palmieri and I'm your co-host Alan Lazaros at NLU we believe in a heart-driven but no bs approach (1:05) to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers our goal with every episode is to help you level (1:10) up your life love health and wealth we bring you a new episode every single day on topics like (1:19) confidence self-belief self-worth self-awareness relationships boundaries consistency habits

Alan Lazaros

(1:26) and defining your own unique version of success self-improvement in your pocket every day (1:33) from anywhere completely free welcome to next level university next level nation today for

Kevin Palmieri

(1:43) episode number 2444 gratitude isn't enough why did we title this episode that when we're talking (1:50) about complacency because I think a lot of people would say the antidote to complacency is gratitude (1:58) to a degree but I think it is a mix of gratitude and ambition gratitude is I'm grateful for what (2:04) I have ambition is I am hungry for what I set out to get in the first place and I think that's

Alan Lazaros

(2:09) an important component of this that's part one I just looked it up yeah complacency is a feeling (2:15) of self-satisfaction or contentment that leads a person to stop trying to improve or to ignore

Kevin Palmieri

(2:21) potential problems or risks okay very dangerous very dangerous I was back when I did my body (2:31) building show we've been talking a lot about fitness because we love fitness back when I did (2:34) my bodybuilding show I look back on the pictures before I started my show and I was in really good (2:40) shape but I didn't think I was and there's some that's part one about this yeah part two is (2:48) Bruce where was I oh I was at the gym working out with Bruce couple last week and Bruce loves to (2:56) like introduce me to people slash talk very nicely about me which I'm I deeply respect I (3:02) appreciate that and one of the guys what a lot of people do that with you underdog that's the (3:08) underdog thing I think I don't know it's the best it's the best but I am always I always try to be (3:14) very cautious about allowing that feedback to get in I appreciate it I do I appreciate it but I (3:21) don't ever want to take somebody else's compliment as my reality if that somehow creates a justification (3:29) for me to take my foot off the gas like Bruce says it all the time you're looking really good the (3:34) diet's working and you look it's like it's not working as well as I want it to yeah at that (3:38) it's important to hold the duality in that I think right that's I think it's very important and I (3:41) think that's one of the ways you avoid complacency is you don't listen to the noise you can't listen (3:46) to the noise because people will make you complacent if everybody tells you how amazing (3:52) you are at something just like on the opposite end you can't allow external feedback to make you (3:58) hopeless because it will if you listen to people oh you're you think you're going to be an artist (4:03) or whatever whatever they're saying I think complacency is the same but it's on the it's

Alan Lazaros

(4:06) on the opposite end of the spectrum well let's talk about both sides so you're afraid to let the (4:14) positive feedback in because you don't want it to lower your standards I think one of the reasons

Kevin Palmieri

(4:22) I am relatively good at the things I'm good at is because I never think I'm good enough however

Alan Lazaros

(4:31) you're doing that consciously instead of letting that unconsciously yes yes exactly yeah and I (4:36) think that that is humility yeah I think benchmarking against your goals we do this (4:50) new assessment I call it the success set point and I've been doing this I've done (4:54) this with four or five clients now and I was doing it recently (5:02) and it's 15 categories personal so three categories with five sub categories personal (5:09) professional development no personal development social development professional development left (5:13) to right and each one has five categories green yellow red green yellow red green yellow red (5:18) those are the three areas you have to be world-class in order to be successful holistically (5:24) and I said we're going to do this based on your who you need to be to achieve your goals (5:31) if I did this assessment based on statistics and based on the average and the norm you're (5:37) green in all 15 of these yeah maybe not all 15 but most of them okay if I benchmark this (5:43) against the goals you're green you're red and yellow in several categories so the reason I (5:49) say that is because someone who is complacent is most likely not benchmarking up against their (5:57) potential they're not benchmarking up against something difficult it's really easy to think (6:02) you're fast like a seven minute mile I can do that isn't fast compared to runners that's (6:09) really fast compared to the statistical fucking average statistical average seven minutes is (6:14) amazing there are what percentage of human beings can run a seven minute mile right now it's what (6:20) three percent but in those three percent there's a one percent of one percent of one percent of (6:25) one percent of one percent that that is a jogging joke like I would get laughed out of the room for (6:30) thinking that that's even remotely impressive it depends what you're comparing to if you compare up (6:36) you'll never be complacent if you compare up you'll also never have high self-worth so you have to be (6:42) sort of careful about that but if you compare down you might get complacent very easily big

Kevin Palmieri

(6:47) fish small pond isn't it and so I looked up the what's the opposite of complacency the opposite (6:53) intentionality dissatisfaction or vigilance but one of the related conceptual opposites (7:00) is humility and modesty recognizing one's limits rather than feeling smugly self-assured

Alan Lazaros

(7:08) now there's something to that so humility was associated with the opposite and by the way

Kevin Palmieri

(7:14) uh vigilance yeah vigilance alertness caution and readiness to act against potential risk or dangers

Alan Lazaros

(7:24) vigilance is the state of being highly alert watchful and attentive to potential dangerous (7:30) problems or important changes you just said that so similar similar yeah it means maintaining (7:37) careful awareness rather than becoming careless or complacent let's make this practical okay I've (7:47) said this before there are certain people that strike me as you've heard me say inwardly humble (7:56) before well there there are certain people who strike me as inwardly arrogant (8:01) they don't come off arrogant to most people but I can tell it's like it's like they have this (8:11) already good enough air about them uh they don't have to try hard I they have this this identity (8:21) of I since I'm so great I shouldn't have to try hard and they basically spend their life avoiding (8:29) being found out that they're actually not that great so so let's say this person hypothetically (8:34) is really good at ping pong they'll jump at the opportunity to play ping pong but if they suck at (8:39) basketball they won't even play they're they're constantly making sure they're seen in the highest (8:45) light and I think that that inward arrogance is constantly trying to self-assure itself that it's (8:57) great because deep down you know that you're not versus would you rather be someone who (9:05) is complacent and great at a couple things and then stay in that narrow bucket or would you (9:10) rather be like a lifelong learner who is constantly embarrassing themselves to try to get better (9:16) and one of them is a short-term win for a long-term loss and the other one is a (9:20) a long-term loss for a short-term wait short-term loss for a long-term win the learner is the one (9:27) who gets embarrassed the learner is the one who asks the dumb question the learner is the one who (9:32) tries and fails the learner is the one who gets humbled constantly by trying to be better the (9:39) one that's benchmarking up against a goal or their potential not up against the statistical average (9:46) one person's trying to be better than other people the other one's trying to see how good they can be (9:51) if I wanted to be and again this is going to come off really pretentious but if I wanted to (9:54) be better than other people at business I already won I'm better than 99 of people at business (10:02) great that's the dumbest comparison ever I think that's silly like why the fuck would I do that (10:10) I already earn more than the 99 of people that's not I don't care that's not it for me that's not (10:18) I just want to walk around with some I'm amazing like I can't even do that man I don't even get it (10:25) like the only reason why I earn so much is because I'm trying to earn more the only reason you were (10:31) in such good shape in your bodybuilding show is because you were trying to be in better shape (10:36) even when me at my physical best I'm with you I didn't feel like I was at that great you want (10:42) to know why because I was comparing to people way better and or to my potential like how do you do

Kevin Palmieri

(10:47) it that's the thing is like how do you do it because I was thinking okay essentially in my (10:51) mind I know my best is never enough how do you do that in a constructive way exactly and that's

Alan Lazaros

(10:57) exactly where we should go because I don't want because I was jacked I was jacked I've seen (11:04) hindsight that's obvious I was in really good shape and do you wish at least to some extent (11:09) that you had enjoyed it more I do I feel like I didn't realize how next level I actually was in (11:16) until you and I lost it a bit and same with you I mean you and I didn't even consider I went to a (11:23) photo shoot once I had an eight pack and Kev I kid you not he's like dude you had a little fluff (11:28) you came into that shoot fat you were a little fluffy brother I can show you the photo you used

Kevin Palmieri

(11:35) to think was fluffy compared I was shred city I know but but but it's compared to what yeah you (11:40) were saying my goal is to be the greatest natural and it was like brother you've got to get your (11:45) together with all the love in the world like I'm in better shape than you and I'm not doing a photo (11:50) shoot you gotta get your shit together um so the eight pack wasn't enough no I enjoyed it I enjoyed (11:58) it yeah but not enough no it not it's not that I feel like I took it for granted a little a little (12:08) I don't know if I took it for granted because I was very aware of the amount of work I was putting (12:11) in like dude back then I've been again I've been doing this calorie macro tracking thing

Alan Lazaros

(12:17) long before it was fucking cool agreed agreed but it's not that though because you and I both put in (12:23) a ton of work it's not that I think it's you know what you have when you have it more than I do (12:28) typically because I'm always benchmarking against at the time I was benchmarking up against Greg (12:32) Plitt who I believed was the greatest natural aesthetic body of all time yeah and I and I was (12:40) very good but not on his level and that's I think the the necessary downside of what it takes to be (12:49) truly great is you you aren't allowed to really stay long and enjoying it well that's why it's

Kevin Palmieri

(12:57) again I'm convinced now more than ever and again I don't mean this is like a talking down any way (13:04) shape or form to anybody I really think like there are there is a certain type of person that's (13:08) supposed to achieve a certain level of something based on what's constructive for them I believe (13:13) that now more than I ever have because there's somebody in my opinion you were not nearly in

Alan Lazaros

(13:22) as good a shape as you needed to be and if real quick just to give the listeners context yeah (13:30) out of a thousand people how many people were I in shape was I in better shape than random sample

Kevin Palmieri

(13:36) everybody okay oh oh oh but no I was one in a thousand and I wasn't nearly as in shape as I (13:43) needed to be the thing was like hey man I'm in as good a shape as you and my goal is not to be the (13:48) greatest I know natural that's the truth I was benchmark you were benchmarking me against the

Alan Lazaros

(13:52) goal I was I think it's good and I guess that's how you destroy complacency what you said the

Kevin Palmieri

(13:57) goal was agreed and I think to your point I am how can we don't do that with other people

Alan Lazaros

(14:02) because other people are not capable of achieving that no but they say their goal (14:07) is to be a blah blah blah and then you don't benchmark them against because they're not I

Kevin Palmieri

(14:11) know they're not going to do it you I you research what it would take to get there oh yeah yeah I (14:17) think a way I think one of the hardest things about complacency is if you're not aware of (14:21) where you are it's almost impossible not to get complacent and you don't know you can't be aware

Alan Lazaros

(14:28) of where you are unless you're benchmarking both up and down or if it's like you have like a your

Kevin Palmieri

(14:35) first time being there like that's always that's always a really challenge like if you've gotten (14:39) something for the first time ever you're gonna fuck it up probably like you're most likely gonna (14:43) fuck it up unless you're paranoid about losing it I know but people are like oh you know yeah

Alan Lazaros

(14:50) don't be paranoid paranoia got me here imagine now you're gonna get rid of it you just figured

Kevin Palmieri

(14:55) out how to start a fire for the first time like you're the first human who ever create like found (14:58) a way to start fire you're telling me you're not gonna like carry that thing around like (15:02) it is your lifeblood because what are you just gonna like pour water on it because you believe (15:05) you can do it again yeah this was no no problem I should be able to do this easy peasy I know we're

Alan Lazaros

(15:11) talking fitness a lot but you'll resonate with this deeply when I was preparing for that second (15:17) show that I that I won uh I won my class and the overall this was the one that I actually (15:22) showed up correct and it was great it was great uh but leading up to that show everybody was like oh (15:30) don't worry about it you don't have to track look at look at how jacked you are like you're good it's (15:34) like no no no the reason I'm jacked is because I've tracked and you and I went camping once you're (15:40) like don't track that you don't have to track that you were you were joking with me I was eating (15:44) tracking my cereal at camping I don't remember I was I drank many a twisted tea that trip yeah

Alan Lazaros

(15:49) too many I'll never forget this this is I remember this vividly uh someone had Nutella (15:56) and you said yeah and you said like put a golf ball in that yeah I'll never forget that joke

Alan Lazaros

(16:02) like you could you could put Nutella on a golf ball and put it down I would put it down Nutella (16:06) is something special but I was the only one not drinking and I was the only one tracking calories (16:13) uh in that crowd and uh but that's when you and I think at the time I was probably in (16:21) pretty close to the best shape there but that's when people say like oh don't worry about it it's (16:25) like no no me worrying about it is what got me here if I stop worrying now I'm not gonna win the

Kevin Palmieri

(16:32) show well that's why it's you can't listen to people because they didn't do what it takes to (16:36) get the result they just see the result yeah and assume you can now stop the process and keep the (16:42) result nope it goes the results go very quickly I think high school like younger when you're younger (16:50) the best example of is one of the best examples of complacency because you think we went to who's (16:56) I I was talking to somebody recently I don't think it was you it might have been I don't know if it (17:01) was you but like when I was a freshman the seniors were grown-ass men like these were some fucking (17:08) super my sister's grade dude I remember vividly yeah they were like superheroes yeah for sure (17:13) uh and again I'm not them I believe it my sister and yeah a hundred percent that doesn't last (17:21) forever nope but yeah some of these dudes were in great shape when you're young with very little (17:27) effort you don't know that you think this is just the way it is yeah you just think this is just (17:35) the way it is and I'm I'm telling you I think that's if it's happening to you backflips off my (17:40) deck and all kinds of yeah yeah there was some weird shit if you're getting results for the (17:45) first time in your life at the highest level I think you should be paranoid yeah I think if

Alan Lazaros

(17:52) you can be productively paranoid you'll be better off but here's the problem what if what if deep (17:57) down they don't have the imagine there's an inner self and an outer self and the outer self I'm (18:03) thinking of someone dunk a basketball best athlete and all three-sport athlete unbelievable just just (18:09) stud grown-ass man at 18 years old and the outer world he looks like the pinnacle of male perfection (18:18) the inner world he might not actually have that much belief and eventually that catches up with (18:26) you because when you go from high school to college college to the pros you're around all the (18:33) other like I remember that vividly math in high school was a fucking joke for me genuinely not (18:40) hard and then I remember being at WPI going oh all like you need a minimum of a 650 SAT score (18:49) in math just to just to apply like a 650 is really good right one of one of our friends didn't even (18:57) get in because he couldn't with his math SATs and you get there and it's like oh so everybody here (19:04) is like at that level already whereas in high school you you can easily be the best (19:13) with without that much effort and I feel like (19:17) if you don't get into a bigger pond you'll always end up complacent so you almost have to get into a (19:23) bigger and bigger pond over and over and over again but you can't so you have to always shoot (19:28) for the next level I think shooting for the next level keeps you humble I do I do well as long as (19:34) it's not too much of the next level yeah as long as it's not level 10 it breaks your when you're (19:39) high school and it breaks you in half because I did have a mini identity crisis when I went to (19:43) college a little bit where it was like oh okay you like can't not study here and get A's I mean you (19:50) can but it's harder I had that recently where what did I get that from you and I got that when (20:00) we went to that Toronto gym that was good for me and that that oh god it was good for me too

Kevin Palmieri

(20:07) but it took time Alan and I this was like fresh fresh off of COVID yeah and neither of us were in (20:13) good shape at all compared to past selves and we went to this really big gym in downtown Toronto (20:20) yeah that was brutal and it was fucking bad I was like something off with these mirrors (20:27) oh my god that was so humbling yeah that was so humbling you were like

Alan Lazaros

(20:32) yeah I'll never forget Kev throws up the 50s on incline for like six you know that used to be (20:40) your warm-up set working my way back yeah look it goes you don't you don't you don't fucking use it

Kevin Palmieri

(20:46) I couldn't do them either no no it was that was a bad time that was a bad time all right the reason (20:53) I wanted to name this gratitude this will be my this will be my my wrap-up the reason I wanted (20:58) to name it gratitude isn't enough is because I think we think the opposite of complacency is (21:03) gratitude but I think gratitude without ambition is going to create complacency anyway because (21:08) you're just going to you're going to get stuck where you are and I think you want you want to (21:13) Alan's point you want to aim for the next level just to make sure one the next level is appropriate (21:17) for you two you're actually measuring the progress and three you're comparing to where you need to (21:24) compare and then you're reflecting you got to reflect along the only reason I knew like I look (21:29) back now it's like oh my god I was in way better shape than I thought I was because I eventually (21:33) got into worse shape than I thought I would be now I'm coming back and it's good I feel good

Alan Lazaros

(21:37) blah blah blah but it's not as easy as I thought it would be actually way harder I think this is (21:45) why measuring things is so important dude that doesn't happen when you measure things it measuring (21:52) things keeps you humble it just does yeah that's fair because you're always the measurement is (21:59) always less than the goal that's why I say things like yeah we're successful but Amazon makes more (22:08) in a day than we do all year like I say things like that because it keeps me probably more in (22:13) an hour than we do all year exactly so what does it say underneath that statement we're not we're (22:20) just getting started there's a long way to go we are not done and we cannot rest on our success (22:27) I'm grateful we're more successful than we've ever been that's that's great and do not get (22:33) complacent the only reason we got here is because we didn't have the luxury of complacency (22:39) and now that we're successful like that's a thing you cannot rest for very long on success (22:48) you really really really can't and I do think that that's very humble same same I just think (23:01) most people don't want that to be the case yeah it's a principle it is it's a principle you you (23:09) can never you can't burn the candle too hot on one end and not take care of yourself and you can never (23:19) let it go out yeah that if you let it go out for even a small period of time even three to nine (23:27) months is enough to like really screw up your progress and then you have to rebuild all that (23:35) momentum again there's a good metaphor that I like a lot about a water pump and I've never used one (23:42) personally but back in the day they used to have to pump water up a well and it wants it you have (23:46) pump a ton just to get a little bit of water and then once there's water going and and the pipe is (23:51) full it's easy you just keep pumping but if you let it go all the way back down you have to start (23:56) all over again I think that's a great metaphor for success like if you and I stopped podcasting (24:02) for like six to nine months it would be very hard to get back to where we were like think about the (24:16) then it would be if we just stayed consistent just stay consistent just stay consistent and (24:21) I said this to a client earlier this will be the last thing I say in this episode I said this to (24:25) her I said the more people I coach the more I realize that consistency is always the separating (24:31) factor showing up consistently really is 80 percent of the game and I'm excited for you and (24:35) I to start getting results that compound through consistency glad you're back on the train let's (24:40) crush goals together so I said and this is a client that I've coached in the past so I'm glad she's (24:45) but the point that I'm making there I think when someone stops being consistent I think that is

Kevin Palmieri

(24:56) complacency an indicator of complacency I would concur yeah I would concur especially if it's (25:04) your first time getting the success and you don't know what led to it it's I'm telling you you're (25:07) Jeffed you're Jeffed and I don't know if there's a way you figure it out without measuring I think (25:12) measuring and or massive regret are the two two of the best teachers you can get for sure all right (25:19) cool don't be complacent stay hungry friends stay hungry if you're out there and you want to make (25:24) sure you're not complacent and you want to have somebody in your corner who can help you stay (25:28) hungry who can help you measure who can help you set goals to get to the next level Alan is your (25:33) guy so reach out to Alan if you haven't done a free 30 minute a business breakthrough session (25:37) is that what we're calling it nowadays business breakthrough session Alan will do that with you (25:41) figure out if you feel like you're a good fit no matter what you'll find value and there's no (25:45) strings attached and we have the next level fitness accountability group we're talking about fitness (25:48) a lot because that is something Alan and I have in common and we both love exercise and bodybuilding (25:54) and fitness and all that happy jazz so if you're somebody who wants to be more consistent in the (25:57) gym we got you we are very consistent when it comes to that free whatsapp group no strings (26:01) attached reach out to Alan and I and we will let you in we would love to have you as always oh go

Alan Lazaros

(26:06) ahead go ahead make it the community we're building of next level individuals all over the (26:12) world is very much designed to keep you out of complacency it's going to be very hard to stay in (26:20) that fitness group and to not have that constant knock at the door of like hey come on hey come on (26:26) hey come on because when you're in a tribe of people a community of people that are all getting (26:31) after it it makes you feel like you're falling behind and that's okay that's how I mean that's (26:40) how you create necessity being in this group will get you off your ass and that's good love it all

Kevin Palmieri

(26:47) right as always we love you we appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you if you (26:50) are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level make sure you tune in tomorrow (26:54) because we will be your every single day to help you get there keep leveling up to reach your full (26:59) potential next elimination thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university we

Alan Lazaros

(27:05) love connecting with the next level family we mean it when we say family if you ever need anything (27:11) please reach out to us directly everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes (27:16) thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow