1 Saying That Has Changed NLU A TON (2447)

What story are you telling yourself that your behavior keeps exposing?

In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan break down the gap between what we say we are going to do and what our actions actually prove. Kevin shares why his 6 a.m. content plan fell apart fast, while Alan connects the lesson to fitness, tracking, coaching, and the real cost of competing goals.

This episode challenges the idea that knowledge is enough. Growth takes self-awareness, structure, accountability, and the humility to adjust when the plan does not match reality. Press play, then stop negotiating with the version of you that keeps breaking the deal.

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Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

Join the "Next Level Fitness Accountability Group" – Reach out to Kevin or Alan on Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:18) Closing the gap with self-awareness
(6:13) Why failure helps behavior change
(8:21) When priorities reveal the truth
(10:24) The danger of goals in conflict
(14:47) Behavior change is real power
(17:28) Humility, tracking, and accountability
(21:11) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I've been trying to do more social media on our last team call and social media posting I mean on our last team call. (0:07) I said, you know what I'm gonna do. (0:08) I'm gonna do my videos at 6 a.m before I go to the gym and Then yesterday we met for a team call and I said the story I was telling myself was that I was gonna do that There's no fucking chance Who wants to do a social media video at 6 o'clock in the morning when they just woke up?(0:25) That is dumb. (0:26) That is dumb The story I was telling myself was that I was gonna do it if the faster you can Adjust the story you're telling yourself to the reality the more successful you will be.

Alan Lazaros

(0:35) We all tell ourselves stories sometimes we have goals and Processes that are out of alignment with who we are and then goals are in conflict and you tell yourself you're gonna do XYZ And then you start doing it and you're like, no, I'm not gonna do it. (0:48) How real can you be with yourself? (0:51) self-acceptance (0:51) Self-discipline and knowing the difference welcome to next level University

Kevin Palmieri

(0:56) I'm your host Kevin Palmieri and I'm your co-host Alan Lazarus at NLU (1:02) We believe in a heart driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers

Alan Lazaros

(1:08) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life

Kevin Palmieri

(1:11) Love health and wealth we bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence (1:20) Self-belief self-worth self-awareness (1:23) relationships boundaries (1:25) Consistency habits in defining your own unique version of success self-improvement in your pocket

Alan Lazaros

(1:32) every day (1:34) from anywhere (1:36) Completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:37) Welcome to next level University next up a nation today for episode number 2447 one saying that has changed NLU a Ton the story I'm telling myself now We've talked about this phrase in the past when it comes to relationships Taron. (1:57) I still use that to this day the story I'm telling myself aka. (2:00) I'm not saying that I'm right.(2:02) I'm not saying it's logical. (2:04) I'm not saying anything I'm just saying this is what I'm telling myself in this potentially triggered moment. (2:10) What a great cheat code.(2:11) It's great You know Taron said it the other day. (2:13) It was like that's fire. (2:14) That's good stuff How do you close the gap faster on?(2:23) This when I was saying it like yeah, I'll do it at 6 o'clock in the morning There was a little piece of me that's like there's no fucking way you're gonna do that But I wanted to give it a shot. (2:32) I wanted to give it a shot. (2:33) I was over seven I didn't it was a massive one.

Alan Lazaros

(2:36) I saw it not at 6 a.m. Shared it Not at 6 a.m. That wasn't at 6 a.m. I don't know. (2:42) What was it? (2:43) You were in the next level Hope Foundation No, no, no.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:45) No, that was noon Hey, son, oh you shake so I figured it was pre-workout. (2:51) No, it's just just electrolytes, baby Oh, I've got it if you and obviously Unfortunately, you don't watch the video all the way through because you would have seen that I said that no no, I said I do remember you saying that now, but I Got more to do than figure. (3:06) You know, you're saying you're doing your videos I'm just saying if you want I didn't walk all the way through but I do remember you saying these are electrolytes now in hindsight So the story I was telling myself the story I wanted to tell myself what I wanted to believe about myself was Yeah, before I go to the gym, I'll crank out a video.(3:19) Honestly, that's not gonna happen How do you how do we close that gap faster outside of having just? (3:25) Incredibly high self-awareness. (3:27) Well this with that That's the answer.(3:30) Yeah Yep, know thyself to met knows gay the Also, my apologies in advance the there's people outside landscaping and they are fucking hammering it.

Alan Lazaros

(3:41) Yeah, they are the Two paths on one hand You want to try new things to try to get yourself to do new things to try to change your behavior to try to? (3:54) How do you know? (3:56) When you're telling yourself a story versus actually gonna do it.(4:01) So Okay, this is an again. (4:05) I know we talked about this all the time, but it's a really good example 10 pound in 10 week challenge from February 2nd to April 11th, I think Tracking. (4:19) Yeah, 70 days 10 weeks 10 pounds boom did it halfway through I?(4:27) was making my rice with coconut milk, and I realized that it was 400 calories and (4:33) I was behind because I wanted to lose a pound a week (4:36) Which means 3,500 calories divided by 7 which is 500 calorie deficit per day, which means you got to get your (4:43) Ass up to burn 250 extra calories per day and you have to eat 250 calories less (4:48) Which I clearly was not doing so I was behind and by the way (4:52) side tangent slight (4:54) One of the reasons why I think a lot of people I've been coaching a lot in fitness lately peak performance fitness (4:59) Shout out to you. (5:00) If you're out there, I might be coaching you.(5:02) I'm very excited but Homeostasis dude, let's say you run an 8-minute mile and Then you run another 8-minute mile and then another one and the the week after your body adapts now You're not burning the same amount of calories. (5:17) Your body is constantly adapting to doing more for less calories So you have to push yourself. (5:23) You never don't have to push yourself.(5:25) You can't just say hey, I'm gonna run a mile a day And I'm gonna burn an extra 250 calories a day It's like no, it's 250 then to 40 then to 30 then to 20 unless you are pushing and upping the ante so that's a whole nother thing, but anyway, so I Started running a mile a day Miles for mindset shout out to Brandon. (5:42) He did this for over a thousand days. (5:43) I started that up.(5:45) Awesome. (5:45) I'm 82 days in 83 as of today and How do I know that that wasn't a story I was telling myself How do you know in advance like when I said hey, I'm gonna run a mile a day Well, you can look at the proof you've exercised every day for however many days. (6:01) Yeah, but What happens when it's two weeks in my right knee hurts my left groin hurts my I'm tired like How do you know?(6:11) I don't know if you can know in advance (6:13) That's why I think you have to like constantly experiment and this is why I think an aversion to failure is such a bad idea (6:18) You have to try a lot of shit, dude (6:21) We had 24 departments and then 16 and then 13 and then we went back to 18 and then back to like we are constantly (6:31) Experimenting (6:33) always

Kevin Palmieri

(6:34) Individually in our personal lives and in our business you think it's a it's an equation of some things (6:38) You just do long enough to learn the lesson. (6:40) That is the result you're supposed to get.(6:42) I think you try something and

Alan Lazaros

(6:46) You need to do it long enough to where you actually could get benefits and (6:52) Then you decide whether or not it's still worth it (6:54) But here's the thing you grow and evolve and then your goals change and when your goals and values shift as you grow (7:00) You now have goals in conflict (7:03) So so my longevity goal and my cardiovascular goal and my vo2 max goal and my body fat percentage goal (7:09) All of those are in alignment (7:11) But if I'm in a bulk, it's gonna be a little worse to run a mile a day now (7:15) I have to eat more. (7:16) It seems kind of counterproductive.(7:17) So you kind of have to This is the problem. (7:22) You have to run something long enough to decide whether or not it's worth it (7:26) But you're not gonna do that if you're if you can't change your behavior and you keep telling yourself a story (7:31) so I I actually don't have an answer here other than (7:36) self-discipline (7:37) Like dude, you at least tried it right you did one video (7:43) Not a single one (7:44) Okay, how many days you try to do it and fail before you gave up on it zero?

Kevin Palmieri

(7:48) I the first day I was like, there's no fucking chance Okay Take me to that moment I Wake up. (7:56) Okay, come downstairs and you just and you're like, I'm not gonna do this. (8:00) I'm making my pre-workout Yeah, and I'm like, so now I'm gonna set up my camera and I gotta get my mic while I'm making my pre-workout I'm gonna be five minutes later to the gym.(8:09) It does not seem like the most optimal way to do this My workouts gonna suffer because I want to make a piece of content like that doesn't it that I won't do that I will resent the process for sure All right. (8:21) Well, so so your priority and I should have known that when I said it I did know that when I said it Then it was collapse time. (8:29) I had to have a most important Improvement that became the most important improvement, but I think I knew half the team most important improvements.

Alan Lazaros

(8:37) We write down we don't do however (8:40) the process of the most important improvement is so (8:46) In (8:46) My coaching we do peak performance tracking you track your most important skill you track your top three priorities for the quarter (8:53) We have 34 days left in q2 (8:55) You track your top three metrics that roll up to those priorities and sometimes more and then you have habits (9:01) And then you have a task list and then you have an improvement (9:08) Every single day. (9:09) I have clients writing something specific That is a 0.1% improvement and I'm gonna put my yoga mat outside the bedroom so that I that's a trigger for me to Get my ass on the yoga mat. (9:20) That's perfect tangible Specific perfect just because you write it down doesn't mean you do it We how many intentions do people have a day? (9:31) I literally am like, oh, I think you know Today, I'm gonna adventure race with Emilia and we're gonna do we're gonna do like the whole 60 minutes I ended up swimming. (9:43) We did we did 1.1 1 miles. (9:45) Awesome we still did the 60 minutes of hiking and walking and swimming and all but Of course you have ideas and here's the problem. (9:53) You have ideas in the morning when you're in a great state and Then you tell yourself a story you're gonna Do X Y or Z like our sink is fucked up right now piss me right off. (10:02) Oh, I'm gonna get to that today No, you're not not a fucking chance what after your back-to-back still 830 you're gonna get under the sink No, the pain is great enough.(10:11) Yeah, exactly and honestly you throw a bucket under it. (10:14) It's fine for now No, but the truth of the matter is is I think it's arrogant to think you're gonna do Way more shit than you're really gonna do. (10:24) I think But it's like well Alan You say to aim high and all this stuff.(10:31) It's it's it's a duality. (10:32) I want to get to 40 clients I'm at 37 right now super pumped, but I'm not gonna be under the sink tonight, right? (10:38) You can't do everything you can't but you can do a few things really well and make them into a habit (10:45) But I do think that you have to be careful of goals in conflict goals in conflict are way more (10:51) Detrimental than I think people realize you want to lose weight, but you also want to eat food you you want to run (10:57) But you also want to build muscle you want to be financially free (11:01) But you also want to travel every goal is in fucking conflict all the time (11:05) This is not uncommon as a matter of fact, one of the main things I do in coaching is (11:10) Get your goals and core values out of conflict.(11:15) That was an abrupt end. (11:17) Yeah, you ended on a high note You know, I've decided you should talk more because I could talk no because we only have six minutes No worries.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:24) I need you to talk for the next six. (11:25) Okay, I can do that the the challenging piece though is You'll say the story. (11:31) I'm telling myself then you then you'll correct yourself and then you will change and adjust (11:36) What if somebody says the story I'm telling myself is that I'm actually gonna do something and now I don't believe I can do it (11:42) So I'm not gonna do anything (11:44) that's where I think it gets wonky is if you have high self-belief and really a really accurate level of self-awareness you (11:52) Can say there's I'm humble enough to say there's no fucking way I'm gonna do that (11:55) But what I do believe I'm capable of doing is this let me test that (11:59) versus the other end of I (12:02) Am so self-deprecating I don't think I can actually do that (12:05) So I'm not gonna do anything and you're not gonna even try not gonna try. (12:08) That's the I Have the skill to do a video at 6 o'clock in the morning I know that I could do it if I if and if you took away all your other goals That would be easy It would be that's one of the most understood things in the world.

Alan Lazaros

(12:20) How easy would that be if that was your only priority?

Kevin Palmieri

(12:24) I Do that would be a fucking joke There's a piece of me that that imagines an alternate on an alternate universe where I do a bodybuilding show again Yeah, but that would literally just have to be the only thing I do And I have that too. (12:39) It would be Easy compared to the when I did a bodybuilding show before for sure and it would be easier than this for sure For sure, you just eat and then you wait around to your next meal It is torture Well, you work out but I already do that yeah, right also real quick when when you're dieting you Cut 250 and then you try to burn 250. (13:02) Yeah 3,500 one pound a week I cut 500 That makes sense.(13:10) Yeah, always dude.

Alan Lazaros

(13:11) I like eating more. (13:12) I don't I really like eating a lot

Kevin Palmieri

(13:15) Eating issue, I don't I wouldn't go that far for me but like brother huge fan I watched (13:22) This is how you know, how deep I am in a diet last night (13:25) There's a channel called man know beard versus food or beard meets food (13:30) And it's this this dude's jacked, but he's like a he's an eating competitor and he ate (13:35) Like a four-foot burrito or something (13:38) And I'm just sitting there at nine o'clock at night (13:41) Burrito, that's what you're doing at nine o'clock at night. (13:44) That's what I did last night. (13:45) Yeah I get to a certain point where I watch When I was deep in my bodybuilding prep, I watched every season of chopped.(13:54) That's the worst idea ever.

Alan Lazaros

(13:56) I like it I don't know while you're hungry you watch food channels.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:00) Yeah, that is not good advice for and I'm not giving that I'm not giving that advice anybody else.

Alan Lazaros

(14:04) I'm just terrible idea That's like just saying hey go to the grocery store while you're hungry You end up with a bunch of shit that you're like, why did I buy that? (14:11) Not if not if you have extreme discipline, you know Well, your discipline in your willpower another conversation for another time is is finite each day. (14:19) You can go to this is not nine o'clock I get what else do I have to be disciplined?(14:22) I wish we could chop our heads off take our brains out Yeah, I know. (14:25) I knew you're gonna say that or have that reaction dorsolateral prefrontal cortex I have memorized that word because it is the willpower muscle. (14:34) I want to know Who has a larger doors dorsolateral prefrontal cortex you get a bigger DL PF than I do for sure I Would say for sure nice.(14:47) Okay back to the point the heart of the matter The story you're telling yourself You for the longest time knowledge is not power knowledge is potential power behavior change is power Especially nowadays when you can look things up. (15:01) Okay, how to XYZ. (15:04) I Used to say this all the time.(15:06) Anyone can Google how to lose weight almost No one can get you to actually do it every day And if you fuck up one day you're behind and you never catch up unless you like make up for it It's really when you look at the numbers. (15:20) It makes a lot of sense why almost no one can lose weight Like what percentage of human beings actually have ABS? (15:27) Like a six pack or a pack or a 10 pack.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:29) There's there's again I don't know if it's actual but there's more millionaires than there are people that have ABS Yeah, 7% of the United States is millionaires.

Alan Lazaros

(15:36) So less in terms of net worth less than 7% Yeah, and and the reason why is because if you eat 500 calories more and don't exercise now you're 750 in the hole you're not you now you have to the next day you have to not eat 750 and then an additional not eat 500. (15:56) So now you're You're twelve hundred and fifty down not a chance Yeah, not it you really you can't fuck up that's why the 10 pounds of 10 week challenge I'm gonna say this we had 28 people sign up almost no one did it. (16:10) It's not easy It's not I would say this it's not easy without the numbers and without Tracking the numbers every day.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:18) Yeah, but even that I know then you still does do it. (16:21) It does suck Yeah, you still gonna do it. (16:23) There was somebody that messaged us and they were like, I'm gonna fucking crush this I'm gonna I'm gonna absolutely crush this challenge.(16:27) I'm gonna be the one it's like I Hope so, but like don't forget you're competing against me and Alan and like I'm gonna do it. (16:34) It's already done (16:35) I've done this so many times like I understand the suffering that this is gonna require and I'm pretty sure they crushed it and did (16:41) a really good job too, but that was like a little competitive piece of me that was like (16:46) This isn't (16:47) This is easier for me than it is for most people one because I've done it so many times too (16:52) I know exactly what to expect and three I know the numbers and I know my body really well at this point for me (16:57) it's it's (16:59) Okay (17:01) and with humility, I also know people that like (17:06) If I'm a level 7 at this (17:08) they're a level 13 at this and like they are way more dedicated to fitness than I am like there's a (17:13) There's a spectrum all of this for sure

Alan Lazaros

(17:16) And to me it wouldn't even be hard if it was all we were doing (17:19) For me, that's the problem is like this conflicts with all my other goals including eating yogurt with Reese's Cups in it. (17:25) So Back to the point of this though.(17:28) Yeah quickly Humility is a huge part of this and and what I mean by that is You have to be humble enough to know you suck. (17:37) Let me explain Okay, Kevin and I are humble enough to know that if we don't do a 10 pound in 10 week challenge We're probably not gonna lose weight like My ego wants to say of course you could do that on your own. (17:52) Why do you need that accountability?(17:54) I don't need it But it helps tremendously I'm far more likely to do it if we make it a challenge and make it a part of the community and make it bigger Than us and and lead by example and then compete with each other and then put a commitment device of I'm not letting Kevin show up on the mic alone after 2,500 episodes like There's a lot of skin in the game. (18:13) How did I hit at a I hit weigh-in at 1130 at night after next level live (18:19) you know, I ended up way below because I I ran a shitload before and cut water weight, but (18:26) I had it dialed down to the exact amount so that I didn't have to diet any more than I wanted to (18:31) Because the truth of the matter is I'm doing other things at level 10 and fitness can't be my only priority (18:40) I (18:40) Do want to make it a bigger priority over time, which is why you and I are calculating body fat percentage now (18:44) And we're gonna try to get that down, which is good, which is good. (18:47) But the story you tell yourself about yourself how do you be real and humble like I I used to be the guy who would believe people's words Genuinely, I was naive when people say I'm gonna lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks my brain now not a fucking chance Not a chance unless you're doing a marathon or a 10k or a bodybuilding show and you have a coach like where's your accountability?(19:12) I have someone making we have a tracker a little a ticker for lack of better phrasing where it's an average daily gross revenue Gross income if it stays above a hundred she's debt-free by a certain date if it goes below a hundred She misses the mark and she's tracking it every Single fucking day. (19:30) I have screenshots of her bank accounts in my whatsapp right now every single day She sends me a screenshot of what she spent. (19:37) I'm like, hey, why six bucks on that coffee?(19:39) Like that's how you win. (19:41) You're not gonna win bit like ah this summer. (19:44) I'm gonna get shredded.(19:45) That's just words That doesn't that doesn't even nobody actually does it Become the person who's humble enough to say, okay, I suck. (19:54) I know I suck. (19:56) I never do what I say I'm gonna do I'm gonna get some accountability.(19:59) I'm gonna get a coach I'm gonna measure this and I'm gonna put it on my fucking whiteboard I'm gonna put a sticky on my fridge that say don't eat anymore you fat mother Okay, you don't have to go that far But the truth is like honestly, I don't believe it people are so bad at behavior change. (20:12) Your wife is a behavioral analyst Dude people are alarmingly bad at changing their behavior. (20:17) Anyone can tell themselves a new story It's hard.(20:20) It's really hard to change your behavior, especially consistently.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:23) So you know why and get it done It's so hard to change it because it's really easy to change it in constructive Destructive ways. (20:32) Yeah, that's all it is. (20:33) It's like it's way easier just to like eat more Just You go on your phone you can door dash there is nothing yeah, we have everything Everything Chick-fil-a Don McDonald's Burger King Domino's UNO's Restaurants you've never heard of that.(20:51) There's like they just deliver here for whatever reason wing stop every commercial. (20:55) It's the best All right, we gotta go. (20:57) We gotta go if you're looking (20:59) to (21:01) Create sustainable behavior change hire a coach Alan get in the next level fitness accountability group (21:06) There's accountability built in you will be more consistent with both of those things for sure guaranteed reach out to Alan and or myself (21:11) As always, we love you (21:12) We appreciate you grateful for each and every one of you and if you are as committed as you say you are (21:16) It's getting to the next level.(21:17) Make sure you tune in tomorrow We'll be here every single day to help you get that keep leveling up to reach your full potential next level nation Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level University We love connecting with the next level family.

Alan Lazaros

(21:30) We mean it when we say family if you ever need anything Please reach out to us directly Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes. (21:38) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow