You Have To Earn Your Position Daily (2460)

Growth has standards. In this episode, Kevin and Alan challenge the belief that success eventually earns you a pass from effort, discomfort, or responsibility. They break down what it means to earn your position daily, why entitlement weakens performance, and how humility, contribution, and honest self-awareness build real confidence. They also challenge the “you are enough” message and explain why your goals require a stronger version of you.

If you want higher standards, better consistency, and a clearer path to growth, this episode will make you look at where you are and what you still need to earn. Earn the level before you claim the title.

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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

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Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:54) Treating every day like a review
(6:09) The problem with toxic self-esteem
(9:47) Becoming who your goals require
(15:38) Telling the truth about where you are
(17:35) You are enough to become more
(19:52) Accountability and daily execution
(21:27) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I have a call right after this with a potential client who wants me to fly out to where they live, stay there for three or four days, help them get content, fly back, and do this every other month for the time being for the foreseeable future. (0:19) And you might say, Kev, you know, you guys have a successful business and you can work from home, why would you want to do that? (0:25) Because that is the that we have gotten here is essentially I always try to earn the position I have.(0:33) I'm not going to arrive, it's not going to get quote-unquote easier, and it's most likely never going to get to a place where I just like work from my house in my pajamas every day. (0:43) I have my nice warm coffee and I don't ever have to do anything that is uncomfortable. (0:48) You do, you have to earn your position every day and that's how you get the next position.

Alan Lazaros

(0:52) Entitlement is believing you deserve something by default with very little effort and three easy payments at $39.95. I made the last part up. (1:00) The opposite of entitlement is humility and work ethic and earning it, gratitude. (1:06) And gratitude can be shown in your actions.(1:08) When someone is grateful, they show up. (1:11) When someone is grateful, they put in the time. (1:12) When someone is grateful, they earn it every single day.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:16) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:18) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (1:20) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros.(1:23) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(1:30) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:36) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:52) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:59) Welcome to Next Level University. (2:04) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,460, you have to earn your position daily. (2:10) I was reading Good to Great, I believe, Jim Collins' book.(2:15) If you're out there, just look up Jim Collins. (2:17) Great books. (2:18) All of them I have read thus far based on Alan's suggestions have been world-class, great books.(2:22) One of the people that was chronicled, Turning the Flywheel, I just recommended that to a client. (2:27) One of the people that was chronicled, I don't remember who it was, but they were talking about how although he was successful and although he was the CEO and although he could have just long retired and left it all behind, he always was trying to do better and he always treated it like he could be fired at any time. (2:46) And I think that's, what is it?(2:48) Who is he? (2:49) I don't know, I don't remember.

Alan Lazaros

(2:50) Is it the guy, the CEO of Kimberly Clark? (2:53) Maybe. (2:54) Yeah.(2:55) Maybe. (2:57) The book is built on two, a lot of concepts, but one of them is unrelenting belief and vision in tandem with productive paranoia and human, like radical humility. (3:13) And those rarely go hand in hand.(3:16) I'm starting to see that a lot more.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:18) Well, I think unfortunately we look, not look up to, a lot of people that get idolized are the most arrogant people for whatever reason. (3:30) I don't know. (3:31) I don't get it.(3:32) Like, I don't know. (3:33) I know it doesn't make any sense to me, but I think that's just the way it is. (3:36) Like a lot of people, I think people just miss, they would just confuse that with confidence.(3:43) Like from a distance, arrogance and confidence seem like the same thing, you know? (3:48) It's very unfortunate. (3:50) It is very unfortunate.(3:51) Yeah. (3:51) That's like a big problem in the world. (3:53) For sure.(3:54) For sure. (3:54) I think if more people focused on trying to pretend like it was their review every day, like imagine if you were getting a review every day by your boss or whoever, your business partner, your client's spouse, there you go. (4:10) How much, how much different would you operate if you were getting a review?(4:15) Way different. (4:16) That's earning it. (4:18) That is earning your position daily is understanding that every day is a measurement.(4:22) It just doesn't feel like it. (4:23) And again, easier said than done, especially in a relationship with everything, right? (4:28) Like you have to earn your, your fitness position every day.(4:32) Yeah. (4:32) You could take a day off and you're not going to see anything, but like you're not earning it necessarily. (4:37) I'm not earning it right now.(4:39) I'm more strict with what I'm eating because I know I'm not exercising, but like, it's not, I'm not making progress. (4:46) I'm mitigating the loss of progress. (4:48) I'm mitigating the downside.(4:50) I'm not making progress because I'm not necessarily earning it. (4:54) And I don't know that I just, there's just something to that. (4:56) There's like the, um, you shouldn't have to do that.(4:59) Like, Kev, you shouldn't have to fly out there.

Alan Lazaros

(5:00) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:00) You're already good enough. (5:02) Well, I'm not saying that we should do that. (5:07) I don't, I still intrinsic, the whole intrinsic extrinsic thing.(5:10) I think we're on the same page. (5:11) I think that's the problem. (5:13) People don't tie their value to utility.(5:16) Well, I think people think when you get to a certain point, you shouldn't have to do the things that you did to get to that point anymore. (5:22) That I think that's just a common, because everybody's giving bad advice on that.

Alan Lazaros

(5:26) Do you think it's bad to tie your value to, to what you add value in? (5:29) That's been something I've been talking to my clients a lot about. (5:32) And it's like, well, you're, you're not, can you imagine not adding any value to anyone and then still feeling valuable?(5:39) Like that's delusion. (5:41) Yeah. (5:41) But I think it's the other extreme is you add value to everyone all the time and when you're not adding value, you feel like you're nothing.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:50) That's the opposite extreme. (5:52) You make it sound so easy to like deal with the discomfort of it.

Alan Lazaros

(5:57) If you're just starting, if you're just starting, have you studied like, and again, maybe you have, maybe you haven't, but I think you've heard about it in some of the books you've read. (6:05) I don't want to ask you a question.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:07) Just fucking hammer it.

Alan Lazaros

(6:09) Will you, uh, have you studied the self esteem movement? (6:12) Self esteem. (6:13) Wow.(6:14) Self esteem movement from the 1960s. (6:17) There was a paper. (6:20) God, I I'm on it.(6:23) I'm gonna look it up. (6:24) Do you understand that what I mean when I say the self movement? (6:28) No.(6:30) All right. (6:30) So in psychology globally, particularly in Western culture, there was someone here described to me what the self esteem movement is in the U S I'm going to say in the U S even though it's not just the U S and why it was detrimental. (6:52) Okay.(6:53) Now the, everyone gets a trophy thing. (7:01) This it's based on this research in the 1970s. (7:03) Okay.(7:04) 1970s and 1980s, my bad, not the sixties, the seventies. (7:07) All right. (7:07) The movement heavily emphasized praise, positive reinforcement, proactive, protecting feelings, avoiding harsh criticism, building confidence.(7:14) First it influenced parenting schools, sports coaching, corporate culture, therapy slash self-help culture. (7:20) Now the movement emerged partly as a reaction against harsh authoritarian parenting, shame based education, rigid social hierarchies, fear that children were psychologically damaged by criticism. (7:33) I understand.(7:35) I understand. (7:36) But if you dig deep into the research of this, and I have done that. (7:40) You, you start to realize that a lot of this stuff was not good for actual self-confidence self-esteem.(7:50) The self-esteem movement is Kev. (7:53) You're good enough as you are. (7:56) You're good enough as you are.(7:57) Don't worry about it. (7:58) And the kid is going, my life sucks. (8:01) I have no friends.(8:03) I'm terrible at school. (8:05) I'm not succeeding. (8:06) My parents at home.(8:07) Aren't great. (8:08) If I'm already enough, what do I do? (8:10) So I'm just stuck.(8:12) Whereas the more empowering alternative is Kev. (8:14) You are wildly inadequate and you can get better. (8:19) And when you do your life will get better.(8:20) One of them is encouraging and empowering based on reality. (8:24) The other one is like, you're good. (8:25) And it's like, well, if I'm good, then why does my life blow?(8:27) What do I do? (8:29) One of the reasons why, and again, this is taken out of context. (8:32) This would be taken wrong.(8:34) Okay. (8:34) So do not do that. (8:36) One of the reasons why one of the reasons, okay.(8:41) One of the reasons why suicide rates have increased, even though quality of life has also been better globally is because of this self-esteem movement. (8:51) Meaning if I'm good enough as I am, and I have clothes on my back and food in my fridge, and I have a shelter and I have everything provided. (9:00) Why am I so miserable?(9:02) The reason you're miserable is because neuro biologically, chemically, you need the pursuit of challenge and mastery and getting better and hard things. (9:12) You need, you cannot, it's learned helplessness, self-esteem, self-worth. (9:18) You're already good enough.(9:19) It's not real. (9:20) It's wildly detrimental. (9:22) You and I didn't have that.(9:23) We weren't good enough. (9:24) We were never like, I'm already good enough. (9:27) I'm already amazing.(9:28) That is wildly detrimental to people. (9:30) You can't think you're good enough. (9:32) The moment you think you're good enough, you're going to stop making real progress.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:35) But like, isn't the, you're wildly inadequate, like an overswing. (9:40) Like what's the, what's the constructive version of that?

Alan Lazaros

(9:47) You are very, a very small fraction of what you could be and you know it. (9:54) So go reach your potential, go do hard things and show yourself how amazing you could be. (10:00) Because yeah, if you're 80 and you live the magnificent life of growth and contribution, you can, you know, it's a little different, but if you don't tell a 12 year old that they're fucking good enough as they are, like this is really important to understand.(10:15) And I've studied a lot of developmental psychology. (10:17) It's, I'm not just talking, even though it might seem like it, because we're condensed for time. (10:21) I have a coaching call in seven minutes.(10:22) You do too. (10:23) So when you tell, when you have an infant, all right, I have a client with an infant. (10:30) She's literally on the calls with us.(10:31) It's actually really adorable, but the child is good enough as they are. (10:36) When you're nine months old, you're not, there's nothing expected of you. (10:40) You don't need to take on responsibility and grow to your full potential.(10:44) You need to learn how to use your hands and stuff. (10:47) Right. (10:47) And she literally said, she like is learning that those, her hands are her hands, you know?(10:51) And I'm still doing that. (10:52) I'm kidding. (10:53) No, but the truth is, is like, but nine years old, there needs to be some burden of responsibility put on the child of like, you need to grow up and it's time to get it together.(11:05) And so it's like, okay, nine months, nine years, 19 years, 29. (11:10) When, when is it, when do we stop making excuses for our own inability to get better? (11:16) Like at the end of the day, and this is what the science shows.(11:20) And I was on with a client yesterday, shout out to you. (11:23) I care about you deeply. (11:24) You know that she has gained 65 pounds this year.(11:29) And I said, I'm saying this because I care. (11:32) This is not okay. (11:34) And I know you're going to react well to tough love.(11:36) I know you will. (11:38) This is not okay. (11:39) It is time to get it the fuck together.(11:41) And you know it. (11:43) And then we started working on the problem and that level of acceptance of you're not good enough as you are, this is a huge issue and you are going to die if you continue down this road. (11:52) And we can fix it.(11:54) This is not unfixable. (11:55) We can fix it. (11:57) That, that is more empowering than you're already enough as you are, don't worry so much about it.(12:03) No, if you keep not worrying about it, you're going to get more and more and more sad and you're going to be stuck. (12:09) And your suicidal ideation in your mid twenties, I think happened in part because you felt stuck because no one told you from a young age, Kev, you need to challenge yourself. (12:21) You got to learn success principles.(12:22) You got to learn finance. (12:23) You got to learn how to add value. (12:26) You got to understand the economy.(12:27) You just got to work on yourself. (12:29) 90% of your issues get solved. (12:35) If you commit to taking on a little more responsibility each day and getting a little better each day and a little smarter each day.(12:42) And you can do it. (12:43) I believe in you. (12:44) You can do it.(12:45) That is way more empowering than you're already enough. (12:48) Hey, you know, you're enough, right? (12:49) If I have another person stop me on a podcast and say, Hey, that was a great interview.(12:54) But like, just so you know, you know, you're enough, right? (12:57) It's like, yo, I know. (13:00) Thank you so much for that fucking useful information.(13:04) I know that, but guess what? (13:06) I'm at 3% of my true potential and I'm not stopping anytime soon. (13:09) And my life's better than yours.(13:12) It's significantly better than yours. (13:13) What do you think they're trying to say? (13:15) When they say that they think that I'm running from some wound, but what they don't know is I have a therapist I've worked with for four years and I've done more inner work since 26 than most people do in their entire life.(13:25) And I'm so sick of people like you're didn't research this. (13:31) I've researched this. (13:32) This isn't my opinion.(13:33) This is, this is the self-esteem movement has really messed things up for people. (13:39) There's a lot of really unfulfilled people. (13:42) You cannot be fulfilled in life and be lazy.(13:46) You can't. (13:47) Michael Jordan is not happy. (13:49) He was happier when he was climbing.(13:52) You can tell. (13:53) Can't you see it all over him? (13:55) He's more happy.(13:55) I'm not saying he's unhappy. (13:57) Like I, he, but he was more happy grinding in his prime. (14:01) He was more fulfilled that I'm certain of.(14:03) And if I could talk to Michael Jordan, I would say, can you explain that to people? (14:06) Because people think striving is a bad thing. (14:09) The happiest people on earth are striving.(14:11) All the people we admire and envy are striving.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:14) He might not tell the truth. (14:15) That's the other thing too.

Alan Lazaros

(14:15) Or he might not be aware of it, or he might be ashamed of it, or he might think his best is in his past. (14:20) If the best is in the past and you're already enough, you're in so much trouble. (14:23) It's called nihilism.(14:24) You can research it. (14:26) Tough love is a wonderful thing. (14:28) Too much tough love.(14:29) There's a big difference between you're, you're the worst and you should be ashamed of it. (14:33) That's not what I'm saying. (14:35) And so I think are overdoing that.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:37) I think that's what, that's why I push back on like the, you're wildly inadequate. (14:41) It's like, I think it depends on how much tough love you can give. (14:43) It depends on your relationship.(14:44) It depends on proximity that on a podcast. (14:48) That's why it's different. (14:49) Right.(14:50) Because when you're sitting across from somebody and you know, they believe in themselves and you believe in them and you're there to help them with a fucking strategy. (14:56) Obviously it's different. (14:57) Yeah.(14:58) But, but to your point, I think that's why so much toxic positivity is out there is because they know they're never going to talk to this person. (15:07) They're never going to talk to them. (15:08) So they know they have to give them as much gas as possible to get them as far as they'll go.(15:12) And unfortunately that's not actually going to happen. (15:14) I understand it. (15:15) I think that's the, I understand why.

Alan Lazaros

(15:17) Well then what's your take on it? (15:18) Because obviously I'm on one side of this and I think I'm actually fairly in the middle, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(15:23) I'm not on the, I'm not on the other. (15:25) I'm not, it's not like you're on, but I think it's important for you to, you've been on both sides of this brother.

Alan Lazaros

(15:31) At one point you were looking for the easy road. (15:33) I've never looked for the easy road. (15:35) I did it for six months and hated my life.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:38) I think that the simplest version is not, it's not going to get better until you admit where you are and how you truly, truly feel about it and then how you want to feel about it. (15:55) I think that's part one. (15:56) We can delude ourselves into thinking like, well, you know, it's okay to be here because everybody else says it's okay to be here.(16:04) It's like, well, that's not real because how do you, how do you feel about it? (16:08) Like to your point, dude, I get that all the time. (16:10) It's like, you know, you, like you don't have to like do so much.(16:13) Like, no, no, no. (16:14) I, you know, I understand. (16:15) I know.(16:16) I thought about it. (16:16) I know what you're saying. (16:17) Have you ever thought of like maybe you're running from your father wound?(16:20) No, no, no, no, no. (16:22) What is that? (16:23) Tell me more about that.(16:24) No, no, of course I have. (16:26) Yes, of course I have. (16:27) This is conscious.(16:28) I'm consciously deciding to do this. (16:29) No gun to my head. (16:30) I get to do this.

Alan Lazaros

(16:30) It's awesome, but I don't think people secretly think I do have a gun to your head. (16:36) Probably metaphorically.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:37) Yeah. (16:37) And, and, and also factually, I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

(16:44) I don't, I think it depends on where it's that funny skit where it's like, I love my job and then you can like zoom out and someone has a gun to Kevin's head.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:54) I think it depends on a lot of things. (16:56) It depends on who you're getting the information from, it's actually meant to be constructive, how close they are to you, all of that stuff. (17:05) I think as much of this is much of who is getting the information that matters as much, if not more than the information they're being given.

Alan Lazaros

(17:13) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:14) Because I do think it has to be catered. (17:15) Like the way you coach me now is way different than it was at the beginning.

Alan Lazaros

(17:20) Like I said, the nine-year-old versus the nine-month-old versus the 19 year old. (17:23) Yeah, of course. (17:24) Yeah.(17:24) But like, this is my, this is my piece. (17:26) But the principle stands. (17:27) Yes.(17:27) You cannot shoot for an easy life, 24 seven, three 65.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:32) Totally agree.

Alan Lazaros

(17:32) Fulfilled.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:33) Like you have to. (17:34) This is my piece. (17:35) This is my final piece.(17:35) And we'll get out of here. (17:36) You are enough to try to be more. (17:42) Yeah.(17:42) I'm, I'm cool with that. (17:44) Not you are enough to try to become more whole, not you are enough and you're whole as you are. (17:50) That's that.(17:51) No, no, I can't fuck with that. (17:52) Yeah. (17:53) You're on, you're valuable enough to try to become more valuable.(17:57) You're valuable enough to invest in yourself more. (18:00) You're valuable enough to push through the shit to get to a brighter place. (18:04) All of that.(18:05) I think when some people hear that, like, you're not enough, they think, well, then fuck it. (18:13) I'm not, it's not worth doing the work. (18:15) I'm never going to be.(18:15) No, no, I know. (18:17) I know. (18:17) I'm not saying it's, but I see you.

Alan Lazaros

(18:19) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:19) But you think that that's what they take it as? (18:21) I think so.

Alan Lazaros

(18:21) Because there's, when I say wildly inadequate, I just mean like, compared to what you could be and will be, if you invest in yourself and you are inadequate for your goals, you're supposed to be, I'm inadequate for my goals too. (18:33) But again, I have a very positive relationship with that, but think about it right now. (18:38) Okay.(18:39) Kevin and I have goals that we have not yet achieved, right? (18:43) Okay. (18:43) What do we do?(18:45) Get better. (18:46) Exactly. (18:47) Get better.(18:47) If we were already enough to achieve our goals, we would already have the goals.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:53) And so you, the other thing too, about this is like, this is a success podcast, right? (18:57) So like damn straight, I've been on shows where they're like, oh no, I don't, I don't vibe with that. (19:02) Like that I'm not good enough.(19:03) It's like, that's fine. (19:03) Like that's, that's your prerogative, but like, I will not see you at the top just so you know, and if you're okay with that, that's fine.

Alan Lazaros

(19:10) I'm not okay with that.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:12) Yeah. (19:12) I'm not, I'm not okay with that. (19:13) Like I, I want to be, I want to do very specific things.

Alan Lazaros

(19:17) No. (19:21) So, um, can I just talk to you for a second? (19:23) It's like, oh no, I know.(19:25) No, I gotta go.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:27) But that, that's the, it's different, right? (19:30) Like what you hear on here is a subset of advice that you get other places, because if you're listening to this podcast, you want to be successful, externally successful, which means that you are not enough yet, or you would already have your goals. (19:41) And if you already have your goals, you most likely are shooting for the next set of goals, which means you're not enough yet again.

Alan Lazaros

(19:46) And you wouldn't be listening to this purpose. (19:48) And the purpose is to help you be more successful and reach your full potential. (19:51) That's why I always say that it gives me permission.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:53) If you don't want to reach your potential, don't listen to a word I say, but as the guy who had the mental health struggles, that's why I always push back on like, I don't know if that would have fucking done it for me.

Alan Lazaros

(20:03) I think it would have, if you actually took it in. (20:05) I don't think it would have done it the way I said it, but I do think the principle would have done it for sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:11) Did do it. (20:12) Yeah. (20:12) The principle for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(20:13) You're more fulfilling.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:14) You've ever been you're like, but I'm just trying to make sure the, yeah, that it's always, you're supposed to trust me. (20:20) You know, I agree with like, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(20:22) And, and we're, you're supposed to push back because that's how this podcast becomes more valuable. (20:27) Yeah. (20:28) I don't want two of me.(20:30) Same. (20:32) I'd like two of me. (20:34) That'd be terrible.(20:35) That'd be great. (20:35) You guys would just like, no, I can't even with that. (20:39) I, one of you is great.(20:40) Two of you on the same podcast would be just overly affirming. (20:44) Horseshit. (20:44) What about 1.1 0.25 better than two there?

Kevin Palmieri

(20:50) That's positive.

Alan Lazaros

(20:51) All right, cool.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:52) All right. (20:52) If you need somebody to gently or harshly kick your butt when you did based on the amount of self-belief you have based on the size of your goals, based on all of that stuff, your understanding of yourself, reach out to Alan. (21:04) Alan can help you with that for sure.(21:05) And it's much different on a one-on-one basis because you're at the truth already. (21:09) You're at the center of the truth. (21:10) You already know what the truth is, right?(21:12) That's like, it's different on a podcast medium. (21:14) That's part one. (21:14) Part two.(21:15) If one of the positions you want to earn daily is fitness, next level fitness accountability group, private free WhatsApp group. (21:21) People are in there every single day. (21:22) No strings attached.(21:23) Just a group of people who like working out and getting fit, whatever that means to you. (21:27) Cool. (21:27) As always, we love you.(21:28) Appreciate you. (21:29) Grateful for each and every one of you. (21:30) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we'll be here every single day to help you get there.(21:35) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (21:39) Next level nation. (21:40) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(21:44) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(21:47) We mean it when we say family. (21:49) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (21:52) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(21:56) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:57) And we will talk to you tomorrow.