Going Back Home Does Something To You (2463)

What if the place that once made you feel behind is now proof that you have changed? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan examine self-belief, identity, and the clarity that comes from revisiting your old life with new awareness. Kevin reflects on returning to his hometown, passing the gas station where he once felt stuck, and walking through the hospital where he worked overnight shifts cleaning bathrooms. Alan adds perspective on why progress is often easier to see from a distance.

This episode is about self-awareness, consistency, and recognizing growth before you underestimate what is still possible. Revisit the scene. Check the evidence. Then stop taking advice from the version of you that was just trying to survive.

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
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For more information, check out our website and socials using the links below. 👇

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Email:
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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:31) Seeing your past with new awareness
(8:37) Revisiting places tied to failure
(9:43) When progress changes the past
(11:21) Realizing how far you’ve come
(13:57) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I slept on my mother and grandmother's couch for seven days, six days. (0:09) And I went back to the town that I was born and raised in. (0:14) I ate at a burger place that I haven't eaten at in like, I don't know, 20 years maybe.(0:20) And my god, am I going through it. (0:23) My goodness, going back home, there is something about that that just, I do not know how to explain.

Alan Lazaros

(0:29) We had someone that I used to game with share our podcast logo.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:35) We did.

Alan Lazaros

(0:36) Shout out to you. (0:37) You know who you are. (0:38) We used to play Counter-Strike 1.6 together. (0:41) That's way back in the day. (0:43) It had to be like 2002, 2003 or something. (0:46) And Counter-Strike 1.6, shout out. (0:48) And my point is this episode will be going back to slingshot yourself forward.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:54) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:57) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:59) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros.(1:02) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(1:08) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:15) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:31) Self-improvement in your pocket every day from anywhere completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:37) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:43) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,463. (1:46) There's just something about going back home.(1:49) And whatever going back home means, doesn't have to necessarily be the geographical. (1:54) I can't say the word. (1:55) Geographical.(1:56) Geographical. (1:57) Is that how you say it?

Alan Lazaros

(2:00) We had an opening way back in the Hyperconscious podcast. (2:03) I still can't say it. (2:04) Geographically.(2:05) Geographically. (2:05) Is that true that you actually didn't know how to say it and that's why that happened?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:09) In this moment, I'm still not. (2:11) If you said like I'll give you a million dollars if you say it correctly, I don't know if I can do it. (2:15) Geographically.(2:15) Yeah, geographically. (2:17) Geographically. (2:18) It might not be that.(2:21) I, this always happens to me for whatever reason. (2:26) Whenever I go back to places where I either used to live or I used to spend time, it's like this weird unlock of like, oh my god, you felt like such a fucking loser. (2:39) I drove by the gas station.(2:40) If you've heard me talk about the gas station, how miserable I was there. (2:43) I just, I almost wanted to pull in just to like drive through. (2:46) I almost did.(2:47) And I was like, they're gonna think I'm, this is an electric car. (2:49) Like what am I, you know, what are we doing here? (2:50) They're gonna think I'm an idiot.(2:51) And then I'm gonna feel like I used to feel. (2:53) I can't do that. (2:54) You should have.(2:55) I should have. (2:55) I know. (2:56) But I went, I went to the burger, uh, the burger place downtown.(3:01) Do you know the burger place? (3:02) What is the name of this place? (3:04) I don't want to give it away because then it'll give the town away.(3:06) Let people, I guess people do know where we live, but it's across from the CVS. (3:09) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (3:10) A hundred percent.(3:11) First of all, I don't know if you've ever gone there. (3:12) My god. (3:14) What do you think?(3:14) Oh, world-class. (3:16) Yeah, good. (3:16) I've been there once.(3:17) Great. (3:17) Yeah, I've been there once. (3:18) But like parking on that street.(3:20) Yeah, yeah. (3:20) I used to live right. (3:23) So the, that's that a place is on, on a corner.(3:26) I used to live right down the street back in the day. (3:29) I used to live there.

Alan Lazaros

(3:30) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:31) Just, yeah. (3:32) There's something about going back home. (3:33) There's something about going back with a new awareness, with a new self-esteem, with a new self-acceptance, with a new understanding of who you are as a person looking back.(3:43) And then whatever happens from there, that's up to you. (3:45) I was so fucking proud. (3:47) I was like, oh my god.(3:48) Yeah. (3:48) The best. (3:49) Oh my goodness, Kelly.(3:51) You actually fucking, you've, you've done it. (3:53) Like you've done a lot. (3:54) Not it.(3:55) It's not time to wrap it up, baby. (3:57) I did it. (3:58) But it was like.(4:00) 36 and done. (4:02) 30, 36 and done because of a trip to my old, to my old hometown. (4:06) That's it.(4:06) So there's something about this. (4:08) There's something about this. (4:09) I don't know what it is.(4:10) I don't know if it's the nostalgia. (4:11) I don't know if it's the representation of your own story, man. (4:14) Maybe that's it.

Alan Lazaros

(4:15) It's going beyond what you thought was possible. (4:17) It's really something.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:18) It is, uh, excuse me.

Alan Lazaros

(4:19) I just burped. (4:20) It is something. (4:21) It is something for sure.(4:23) Because you thought back then you were screwed.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:26) Yeah, man.

Alan Lazaros

(4:28) Yeah. (4:29) I always have trouble not laughing because.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:31) Yeah, no, you can laugh all you want.

Alan Lazaros

(4:32) I laugh because there's something really funny about how much of a loser you used to feel like. (4:39) Thank you. (4:40) You're welcome.(4:41) You're welcome. (4:41) And I know that it was painful back then. (4:43) I'm not trying to lessen it.(4:44) But you're not anymore. (4:45) So now it's just funny. (4:46) Now it's just funny.(4:47) It is funny because, hey, you made it out and that's awesome. (4:50) God, it was. (4:50) There is something comedic about feeling like a loser because everybody's been there to some extent.(4:57) Right. (4:57) For me, it was with women because I just was a little boy when everyone else hit puberty.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:03) Well, I felt like such a loser in everything, pretty much. (5:06) Yeah, that sucks. (5:07) But I don't know.(5:08) In retrospect, I did okay with the women. (5:10) So like that wasn't. (5:11) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(5:12) Nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:12) I was trying to tell you. (5:13) Yeah, I don't know. (5:14) You were popular in high school.

Alan Lazaros

(5:15) Is that coming around?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:16) No, no, no.

Alan Lazaros

(5:16) Yes, you were. (5:20) I wasn't. (5:21) The guy who shared our podcast, he and I were not popular.(5:26) You were popular. (5:27) Maybe.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:28) Look, DM, was I popular in high school? (5:30) I don't know if I was. (5:31) But regardless.(5:32) And who are you asking? (5:33) Shut up. (5:33) The gentleman that shared the podcast.

Alan Lazaros

(5:35) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (5:35) I don't want to say his name.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:36) You would say yes. (5:38) He would agree with me. (5:39) I guess we'll find out.

Alan Lazaros

(5:40) One of my favorite things is we went to high school together.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:42) Well, I was a bit of a loser. (5:46) No, you weren't. (5:46) I had a dream.(5:48) Oh my god.

Alan Lazaros

(5:48) You're a jock, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:49) Everybody loves the athletes. (5:51) I had a dream that I went to work at that gas station. (5:54) Like, while I was down there.(5:57) For some reason, Kev gets killed in all his dreams. (5:59) Did you get killed? (6:02) No, not in this one.(6:03) Good. (6:04) I haven't been killed in a dream since the last time I got shot in the head. (6:06) I didn't die in that one, though.(6:08) Somehow I walked it off. (6:10) You walked it off. (6:12) Dreams are- I'm the punisher.

Alan Lazaros

(6:12) Yeah. (6:13) Okay. (6:13) I know I have to do this because I'm a nerd.(6:15) Okay. (6:15) Neuroscience. (6:16) Study the neuroscience.(6:16) People, everyone has theories about what dreams mean. (6:21) I genuinely believe this. (6:23) Your cerebral fluid, okay, cleans out the plaque.(6:30) This is not the technical terms of every time you sleep. (6:33) Deep in REM sleep, cerebral fluid flushes your brain. (6:36) That's why you get Alzheimer's if you don't sleep well.(6:39) Because you get plaque in between neurons. (6:41) Not good. (6:41) But anyways, I think dreams are your brain rewiring.(6:44) Functional, chemical, and structural rewiring. (6:46) That's why you dream, because your brain- If you've ever seen Inside Out, you know how when she hits puberty, they come in and they bash the whole headquarters down, and they have to reconstruct it? (6:56) You have seen it now, yeah?(6:57) No, no. (6:57) I've seen the first one. (6:58) I haven't seen the second one.(6:59) Okay, the second one, they bash the whole headquarters down, and they redo it with the new emotions. (7:02) Okay. (7:03) Envy and embarrassment and all that stuff.(7:05) That's what's happening when we sleep. (7:07) Your brain is readjusting and adapting to whatever happened that day. (7:11) I remember I used to dream about Halo, and I'd wake up better at Halo.(7:15) I'm not joking.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:15) Why do I die so much?

Alan Lazaros

(7:19) I think it's also- I don't know. (7:21) Because your basal ganglia, which is the fear center of the brain, is fucking messed up because of all the goddamn horror flicks you saw when you were 11. (7:29) That's my honest theory.(7:29) That's a piece of it. (7:30) You saw too many fucking thrillers and horror flicks when you were a kid. (7:34) Thrillers, too?(7:35) Yeah, man. (7:36) Some of that stuff's messed up. (7:37) Final Destination is a bad idea.(7:40) Nobody should watch those movies. (7:41) They're too- You don't need more fears. (7:44) You don't need more irrational fears.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:46) You think that's bad? (7:47) Final Destination? (7:48) That's- I just think it's- Fucking walking- That's a late Monday.(7:51) What are we doing?

Alan Lazaros

(7:53) I'm just saying, we're all programmed. (7:56) We don't have to do another episode on this. (7:57) We're all programmed.(7:58) That's the wrong programming.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:59) Let me ask you a question.

Alan Lazaros

(8:00) You should not be worried about the tanning booth destroying you.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:02) Let me ask you a question, right? (8:03) Go ahead. (8:03) You ever- And again, we're not going to go deep into this, but just for context.(8:07) Did you ever come across the Faces of Death videos when you were young? (8:10) No. (8:11) Okay.(8:11) Yeah, you and I have been to different places. (8:13) Brother, it's not good for you. (8:15) I'm not saying you avoid- I didn't know what I was downloading on Kazaa.(8:20) I didn't know what it was until I saw it.

Alan Lazaros

(8:22) Until you watched it.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:23) And I was like, oh, okay. (8:25) You're just going back from that. (8:27) Okay.(8:29) I was a loser in high school. (8:31) That's where we started this. (8:32) Yeah.(8:33) And there's something about- With you so far. (8:35) Yeah, yeah. (8:36) We're on the same page.(8:37) There's something about driving by the place where I got shit canned. (8:43) Dude, think about how heavy this week was for me, okay? (8:46) For gentle context, family member was in the hospital.(8:49) Everything's good now. (8:50) Family member was in the hospital. (8:52) I drive past the gas station that I got shit canned from because I felt like such a fucking loser to the hospital that I went and worked to doing overnights cleaning bathrooms where I felt even more like a fucking loser, walked by in the Next Level Podcast Accelerator slash old group coaching program.(9:12) I used to talk about how there was this window that I would go look out on third shift. (9:17) The floor that this person was on was on that fucking floor. (9:20) So I walked by that like six times.(9:22) Nice. (9:23) It was just weird. (9:25) The whole week was incredible.(9:27) I went to a pizza shop in Northbridge, well-known pizza shop next to one of your favorite sushi shops that I haven't been to since I was like 16. (9:38) Mm-hmm. (9:41) Dude, just unlocking.(9:43) So this is the takeaway. (9:46) Again, I know we're doing shorter episodes. (9:48) We're just very constrained on time this week because of the things that happened.(9:52) The unlock is, I think, when you've made... (9:58) I'll use myself as an example. (10:00) I don't know if it's this way for everybody.(10:02) When you've made more progress than you thought you were going to make and you go back to a place where you had zero self-belief, it almost feels like anything is possible. (10:10) I don't mean it that way. (10:11) Way more is possible than I thought.(10:14) And just going back increases self-belief without almost doing anything.

Alan Lazaros

(10:20) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:20) It's like, Kev, you didn't believe. (10:22) You thought you were a loser. (10:23) And again, I was trending in a bad direction.(10:26) I was in trouble. (10:27) I genuinely was. (10:28) People say you were going to be fine.(10:29) It's like, no, no, no. (10:30) You don't fucking know. (10:31) Trust me.

Alan Lazaros

(10:31) I wasn't going to be fine. (10:32) No, you definitely... (10:32) I was not going to be fine either way.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:34) For sure. (10:34) But I didn't believe any of this was possible. (10:36) And it is.(10:38) So when I go back and realize like... (10:41) So in our high school, you don't think you were the one people would have bet on to change the world? (10:45) If you would have bet on me in high school, I'm willing to bet you are either a degenerate gambler or you've lost all your money.(10:51) Yeah, you're not good at betting. (10:52) You shouldn't be betting. (10:53) If you were going to bet on me, I think you need to really...

Alan Lazaros

(10:56) I like that because as the underdog, you are living, breathing proof of what's possible. (11:01) I think that's important. (11:02) Well, I think it helped me believe in myself more.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:04) It's like, Kev, you... (11:05) Well, I think it'll help other people believe in themselves. (11:07) I hope so.(11:08) I hope so. (11:08) I don't know how to give that peace because again, it has nothing to do with going back. (11:14) Like when I'm going back, I'm not building necessarily, but like I am in a way.

Alan Lazaros

(11:21) When you go back, you realize you've gotten farther than you ever thought you'd get. (11:28) So then what else? (11:29) You didn't believe it back then.(11:30) So what else are you missing? (11:32) What else could you do? (11:33) It's like very empowering.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:35) Well, just imagine if you could... (11:37) Not you, because I know it doesn't necessarily resonate. (11:39) Dude, if I could go back and talk to episode one, Kev.(11:42) If I could sit down and interview episode one, Kev. (11:47) You're jacked. (11:47) Who'd you ask?(11:48) Who'd you ask? (11:48) You're jacked, man. (11:50) Yeah, for sure.(11:51) You have steroids? (11:52) You don't have steroids? (11:52) No?(11:53) I don't know, man. (11:58) I would say like, hey, man, what do you... (12:01) Seriously, between you and me, nobody's going to see this.(12:03) Trust me. (12:04) Nobody's going to fucking see this episode anyway. (12:05) Trust me.(12:05) I know because I'm you in the future. (12:07) Because I'm you in the future. (12:08) I trust me.(12:09) I know. (12:10) I've tracked the numbers back then. (12:12) What do you really think is possible for you?(12:15) What are you going to do? (12:16) Like 12 episodes and quit? (12:17) What do you think is actually possible?(12:18) What do you actually believe you are capable of accomplishing with this? (12:21) What would you say? (12:22) You got to be honest.(12:26) Close to nothing. (12:28) Yeah. (12:28) So bad.

Alan Lazaros

(12:29) Close to nothing. (12:32) You are really fortunate that I could not recognize... (12:35) Any level of delusion.(12:37) I'm blessed that I got through that as arrogance.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:40) I could not recognize ego.

Alan Lazaros

(12:41) I got through the filter. (12:42) Yeah, you did. (12:43) You did.(12:44) On meds, I wasn't around back then. (12:46) You would have come off as delusional as hell.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:48) Yeah, I was delusional.

Alan Lazaros

(12:49) You weren't unstable.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:50) You weren't naive. (12:51) You weren't manipulative. (12:52) I wasn't delusional.(12:54) A little bit. (12:55) No. (12:55) You acted delusional.(12:57) My net worth goal was two million. (12:59) You saw it. (13:00) And that's in real time.(13:01) This is what I actually think I'm capable of doing. (13:03) Dude, I wasn't. (13:04) I never said...(13:05) I said, you eventually started saying shit. (13:09) Well, that's because you gave me the permission to. (13:11) This guy, he wants to be like...(13:13) He's got a fucking vision board of 75 things. (13:15) I can make something too. (13:16) Let me throw some shit out there.(13:18) I don't know. (13:20) Also, oh man. (13:23) We're going to do two parts.(13:25) We're going to do part one, part two of this. (13:27) And then we'll do the other one. (13:28) Yeah.(13:28) Love it. (13:28) All right. (13:29) This is going to be a very rare cliffhanger, okay?(13:31) But we're very contained on time. (13:34) I'm going to go deeper into this in the next episode. (13:36) Because this is a whole thing.(13:41) I'm excited. (13:41) What I'm going to say in the next episode. (13:42) All right.(13:43) Reach out to Alan for coaching. (13:44) Next level fitness accountability group. (13:46) Thank you for joining us.(13:47) This has been a fucking journey. (13:48) I love this. (13:49) This is my favorite thing in the world, if you can't tell.(13:50) And again, I'm not supposed to be here. (13:52) So I don't know how any of this fucking happened. (13:54) I don't know how you found us.(13:55) I don't know why you listen to us most of the time. (13:56) We appreciate you. (13:57) As always, love you.(13:58) Appreciate you. (13:59) Grateful for each and every one of you. (14:00) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure to tune in tomorrow.(14:03) Because we'll be here every single day to help you get there. (14:05) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.

Alan Lazaros

(14:08) Next level nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:10) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (14:14) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(14:16) We mean it when we say family. (14:19) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (14:22) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(14:25) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:26) And we will talk to you tomorrow.