What Are The Signs You’re Playing Scared? (2476)

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In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros explore why fear can look like responsibility. Playing not to lose may feel safe, but it can keep you guarded, stuck, and unwilling to make the moves growth requires. Kevin and Alan break down loss aversion, self-belief, identity, status, and the trade-offs behind long-term success.

They explain why progress is not about reckless risk or blind confidence. It is about balancing productive paranoia with the courage to move forward. This episode is a grounded conversation about ambition, sacrifice, and calculated risk. Listen in and stop mistaking your comfort zone for a strategy.

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Show notes:
(2:05) Loss aversion and self-belief
(5:13) The Drive to Five framework
(8:05) Productive paranoia and self-belief
(10:17) Playing not to lose status
(12:57) The cost of protecting image
(15:57) Risk, humility, and moving forward
(18:06) Fitness as a model for growth
(21:24) What growth requires you to give up
(26:33) Fear, arrogance, and calculated risk
(28:27) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I mentioned in yesterday's episode that there is a pattern that I run, unfortunately, and the only real way to become aware of a pattern is to recognize the signs that commonly show up. (0:12) We did not get there in yesterday's episode, so today we're going to talk about the signs that suggest you're playing scared. (0:18) Offense and defense.

Alan Lazaros

(0:20) Are you playing to win or are you playing not to lose? (0:24) You need to do both. (0:25) There are no sports teams that only play offense.(0:28) You need to do both, but you have to prioritize. (0:31) The syntax matters. (0:33) Is it offense first, defense second, or is it defense first, playing scared offense, if there's time?

Kevin Palmieri

(0:39) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:42) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:44) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros.(0:47) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (1:00) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:16) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:22) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:28) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2476, what are the signs you're playing scared? (1:33) Okay, when you're coaching someone, I know mine, kind of, but like it's very internal, and it's more of a feeling than a suggestion. (1:43) It's very hard to like externalize it, but when you're working with a client, they come to you.(1:48) At what point in the decision-making paradigm are you thinking they are, I'm just gonna say playing, I can't do it, I can't do it without messing it up. (1:56) They're playing not to lose versus playing to win. (1:58) Where does that come into your advice paradigm, advice-giving paradigm?

Alan Lazaros

(2:05) Everyone's playing not to lose something, and so I have to identify what that is. (2:12) Okay, somebody comes to you, they want to be more successful, always. (2:15) And then there's a constraint, which is playing not to lose something.(2:18) Playing not to lose something. (2:19) One of the, one of, not the reason, the only reason is, no. (2:22) One of the reasons you're not more successful is because you are fearful of giving something up or losing something if you were more successful.(2:32) For some people, they're afraid they're gonna lose their partner, and they might. (2:37) I have one client who just broke up with their partner because she's on a growth trajectory that is very empowering. (2:50) And that's, the fear isn't necessarily invalid.(2:53) I think a lot of people in the personal development space think that fear means it's like irrational. (2:58) No, no, no. (2:59) There are total rational fears.(3:01) Some of these fears are absolutely, like my fear of losing all my friends, it happened.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:06) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(3:06) It completely and utterly happened. (3:07) That wasn't irrational, that was like factual. (3:11) It's very rational.(3:12) Yeah, it was very rational. (3:13) And so you have to identify what you're afraid to lose and what you're trying to win and then reconcile them.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:20) Do you think, and I believe there's like studies that talk about this, but like most people are, they work harder to hang on to something than they do to acquire something new.

Alan Lazaros

(3:32) Of course, it's called the loss aversion tendency. (3:35) There's a cognitive bias called loss aversion tendency where you'll fight way harder against someone stealing a thousand bucks than you will to go make a thousand bucks.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:49) How do you know that's, because that's a really easy example, but like, is it attached to belief?

Alan Lazaros

(3:58) Yeah, definitely. (3:59) A hundred percent. (4:00) The more you believe in yourself, the less you'll be afraid to lose because you know you'll win eventually.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:06) And it's also attached to like, so for me, it pops up around money more than anything else.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:11) Right.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:12) One of the reasons I'm really good at keeping clients is because I oftentimes play, I always play like we're losing. (4:19) Whether it's a $147 a month client or it's a $10,000 a month client, I play like we're losing always. (4:28) And that's good to a point.(4:32) And what I said to Alan, sorry, I'll let you hop in. (4:35) What I said to Alan was when you're at a, like one of the polar extremes. (4:40) So if you always play like you're, you're winning always.(4:43) Yeah. (4:43) Then you're arrogant and you're going to lose. (4:45) If you always play not to lose.(4:48) You're going to lose. (4:49) You're going to lose, but it feels getting to five actually feels like getting to 10 and getting to zero. (4:55) Sorry.(4:55) Getting to five feels like going to zero. (4:57) And it's like when you're that far on the extreme, it's really hard to figure out what. (5:03) I start to feel arrogant.(5:05) I start to feel arrogant. (5:06) Yeah. (5:07) And I don't know if I, I don't think I am, but I feel it and it doesn't feel normal.(5:11) And it's like, it's this whole fricking thing. (5:12) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(5:13) So the drive to five, we have talked about for pretty much nine years and it's zero and 10 and everything is this sort of spectrum because it's not all or nothing. (5:28) So if you are a 10, you are playing arrogant and you think it's going to, you're going to win no matter what. (5:34) If you're a zero, you're playing scared and you think you can't win no matter what.(5:38) So you hang on to every dollar you have. (5:40) Whereas five is I invest money to make money and the money I invest will ROI a return. (5:46) So I'm willing to risk $10 to make a hundred or I'm willing to risk $80 to make a hundred, depending on whatever it is.(5:52) But like when I say you have to invest money to make money, when you and I first hit six figures five years ago. (6:00) Yeah. (6:01) We invested most of that back into the company.(6:05) I mean, we invested at least 60 grand back into the company. (6:07) Right. (6:08) So why?(6:09) So that we could make $200,000 and then we reinvested it again to make $400,000 and we reinvested it again to make $600,000 hopefully this year. (6:18) We're on track this year. (6:20) But my point is, is if you don't believe in yourself, you're not going to fucking do that.(6:24) You're not going to do that. (6:25) You're going to hang on to the money and then you'll never make $600,000.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:29) You know, I saw, and this is not the point of this episode, but it was really interesting. (6:34) You only accept the love you feel like you deserve. (6:37) Yeah.(6:38) I feel like it's, you only accept the success you feel like you deserve. (6:41) You only like lock in the success you feel like you deserve. (6:46) But change that to belief though.

Alan Lazaros

(6:49) Why? (6:50) Why did you say that? (6:51) Hold on.(6:53) You only accept the success you feel you deserve.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:57) Maybe. (6:57) I don't think that's true. (6:59) No, no.(6:59) I don't think it is. (7:00) I think we would have to change it. (7:01) You only, you only accept.

Alan Lazaros

(7:03) You only shoot for the success you believe you could achieve.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:07) Yeah, fair. (7:08) Is that what you meant? (7:09) Or, I wasn't saying that was the quote verbatim that was going to land here.(7:14) I just think there's a parallel between if, okay, if I don't think I'm supposed to be this successful. (7:20) Okay. (7:21) Let's say I'm well beyond what I thought was possible for me.(7:23) You're going to play not to lose.

Alan Lazaros

(7:24) I'm going to play not to lose. (7:25) You're going to try to hang on to it.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:26) Yeah. (7:27) I'm not worried about, you think I'm worried about getting to a million? (7:30) I didn't think I could get here.(7:32) I ain't playing for that.

Alan Lazaros

(7:33) If, well, again, this is, this is something that's important to say. (7:37) I am worried about getting to a million.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:39) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(7:39) So you can do that. (7:41) Your strength mitigates my weakness and my, my strength mitigates your weakness. (7:45) Like I'm playing to win.(7:46) I was too far on the, on the high end of drive to five. (7:49) You were too far on the low end. (7:50) So we, we helped each other yin and yang to where it worked.(7:54) So like you're hanging on to clients and I'm making sure we get more and more clients. (8:00) And, and obviously we're both doing both, but it's probably like 80, 20, 80, 20. (8:03) And then it was 70, 30.(8:05) And then it was, you know, 60, 40, but your scarcity, which, which is called productive paranoia, Jim Collins, good to great analyzed, you know, some of the most successful companies in history and productive paranoia in tandem with undying self-belief was like the number one, what he called level five leadership. (8:27) And together you and I had both. (8:30) I had the undying self-belief you had the productive paranoia at times, the unproductive but like, because we both respected each other enough to listen to each other, we ended up, you know, having this work.(8:47) And I actually don't think it would have worked nearly as well for either of us. (8:52) If we didn't have that checks and balances, because you were like, Hey, what if it snows? (8:57) And I was like, Oh, I never would have even thought of that.(9:02) And I was like, brother, like, we got to shoot for something great if we want to grow. (9:08) Right. (9:09) So the key to this episode is figure out which end you're on.(9:13) And I'm not saying to go get a business partner. (9:15) That's not what I mean, but I do think it's important to like identify someone on the other end who isn't a dingus because that's hard. (9:24) People in the high end of drive to five and the people on the low end of drive to five, they repel each other.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:30) Well, you think you might see somebody be like, Oh, what an arrogant asshole. (9:34) You might see somebody on the other end being like, what a fucking coward. (9:37) Right.(9:37) That's what happens is the issue is, yeah, if you are, you're only thinking like, what if it snows and you don't do the thing because it snows, you're in trouble. (9:44) Exactly. (9:45) If you think, well, it could never snow and you don't have a contingency and it does snow, you could be in trouble.(9:50) That is the, but that's the thing is like, how do you, what are the signs? (9:59) Think of a client right now. (10:01) Is there any client who you haven't had this conversation with?(10:05) Like directly, maybe it's a newer client or somebody in the past. (10:10) Okay. (10:11) Are they playing to win or playing not to lose?(10:14) Not to lose. (10:15) How do you know?

Alan Lazaros

(10:17) Because they just started working with me because we haven't gotten there yet. (10:21) No. (10:21) How do I know?(10:23) Oof, luckily this is anonymous. (10:26) Big fan of this person, but they can't win. (10:29) Let me explain why.(10:30) Hold on. (10:31) Why do I know they can't win rather than just being arrogant, coming off arrogant? (10:36) They can't win because they're playing not to lose.(10:40) What are they playing not to lose? (10:41) They're playing not to lose face.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:46) It's like embarrassment.

Alan Lazaros

(10:47) Yeah, they will not. (10:50) Okay. (10:50) Okay.(10:53) Unlike you and I, who are willing to shout from the rooftops that we are, that we got fucking a thousand listens in those early days, this person won't, is too scared to look like a loser in order to be a winner. (11:12) Everyone looks like a loser in the beginning. (11:14) And if you can't get through that, you won't start.(11:16) And if you don't start, you can't continue. (11:17) If you don't continue, you can't win. (11:19) So like you have to go through the loser phase.(11:22) Like you're supposed to go through a loser phase. (11:24) And what I mean by that is like everyone feeling, because this person has some status and perception. (11:31) People think he's smart and, you know, great and all that.(11:34) You need to override the need for that. (11:37) Like I went from 200 grand a year, like with 160 grand in a Vanguard account, to broke living with my mother. (11:51) And I had to like, not hide that.(11:54) I actually had to wear it as a badge of honor. (11:58) Because that's, I used to say low expenses is a superpower in entrepreneurship in the early, early days. (12:04) Whereas if I needed to have a BMW, we would have not gotten here.(12:10) We would have went broke. (12:11) We would have gotten, I mean, the dumbest shit ever. (12:14) So, and one of the reasons I live with my mom was to help my mom as well.(12:17) So I want to make that clear. (12:18) But at the end of the day, like you have to be really resourceful. (12:22) And so this person's playing not to lose status.(12:24) And if you play not to lose status, you're going to have to keep putting on a show that's not real instead of actually doing the real work that builds something magnificent. (12:32) And even deeper than that, you lose self-respect. (12:35) Because you know you're putting on a show and it's not real.(12:37) And you don't, you almost have to play hiding. (12:41) You have to hide your real self. (12:43) And everyone's been there to some extent.(12:45) I mean, everyone's pretended to be happy when they're not. (12:47) Or pretended to be wealthy when they're not. (12:49) Or pretended to be confident when they're not.(12:51) So, but you can't really win with that because you're in sort of a perception cage.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:57) One of the best things that ever happened was I had a Subaru WRX. (13:01) I loved it. (13:02) It was like my dream car when I got it.(13:03) I was like, wow, this is like my dream car. (13:06) And the engine exploded. (13:07) It was a terrible thing.(13:09) We told the story recently, I think in group coaching. (13:11) Like I would pull up to a red light and it would just shut off. (13:14) And like sometimes it wouldn't start.(13:16) Like it was bad. (13:19) And I went from that, which was like my dream car at the time, to I went to the car like I could afford with the credit score that I had. (13:27) $170, baby.(13:28) $170 a month. (13:29) Mazda 3. (13:30) A Mazda 3.(13:32) I think it was $7,500 or whatever. (13:34) I don't remember what it was. (13:37) But that for me was, that was really hard because I was somebody who valued cars.(13:42) And it was hard for me to feel like I was going backwards. (13:44) And that was one of the best things ever for me because it was like, oh, this, I mean, I didn't choose it. (13:49) I'm not, I'm not evolved enough to have chosen to give up my worldly possessions.(13:53) That was not the case. (13:55) But I was forced into that. (13:58) And it was really good for me.(13:59) It was really good for me.

Alan Lazaros

(14:01) And why, why was it good for you? (14:03) I know that. (14:03) And I love it.(14:04) And because it also showed me that you were willing to sacrifice. (14:08) Well, it, it was like, I've been driving a shit box for years. (14:11) You know, poor Kev with his, doesn't have a sports car anymore.(14:15) You know what I mean? (14:16) I do. (14:16) One day I will get an, I'm going to get an older WRX.(14:19) But that's the paradox is like, you have to be willing to sacrifice it in order to get it.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:23) Because I think you go from playing not to lose to playing to win. (14:28) Yeah. (14:28) Because you already lost.(14:30) When you lost already, you might as well just admit it and feel what it feels like. (14:33) Yeah. (14:34) And honestly, nobody cares.(14:35) It's not that bad, right? (14:36) Like you, if I didn't ever talk about what kind of car I drive, if I didn't post my car on social media, nobody would know. (14:42) Like nobody would know.(14:42) It doesn't matter. (14:44) And I also understand internally it does things, but like that.

Alan Lazaros

(14:47) It's very hard to, to go backwards. (14:50) Like we work with clients who have been together for years with their partner and they want to move on and they're like, well, everyone thought we were the best couple. (15:01) I was there.(15:01) I remember one of my exes, we had like a really good relationship compared to all our peer group. (15:05) Granted, our peer group was, I don't know if train wreck is the right quote, but yeah, they weren't conscientious adults, dream chasing, working on themselves. (15:21) And I remember one of my friends was like, you guys are great together.(15:27) What do you mean? (15:28) Like, why would you break up? (15:29) And I was like, great together.(15:31) Yeah. (15:32) First of all, compared to you.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:34) That's usually what you say compared to you.

Alan Lazaros

(15:36) You guys have broken up three times in the last three weeks. (15:38) So, um, I don't know about great together, but yeah, the truth of the matter is, is like, there's definitely that hit of what we were the couple. (15:47) And now we're not, you have to do that.(15:49) You have to do that. (15:51) You have to be willing to be like, yeah, we fucking, you just have to be willing to crumble the whole Jenga tower. (15:56) You really do.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:57) Isn't that the simplest sign is you're willing to risk what you have to, to get what you want next. (16:02) Yeah. (16:03) With the humility to understand, not the recklessness of like, I'm going to, I'm going to chop the ground out from underneath me to get to that.(16:11) No, no, it's not that. (16:12) But like, sometimes you do have to jump a little bit before the rope is fully formed.

Alan Lazaros

(16:16) Yeah. (16:16) Willingness that I think that's a lot about willingness. (16:19) You have to be willing to give up the Subaru.(16:22) You have to be dude. (16:23) There's something to that. (16:24) Maybe we'll explain it better another time.(16:26) I only got five minutes. (16:28) I have another client who is fucking crushing it. (16:31) 140 grand a year, killing it best she's ever been.(16:35) And she was willing to get a shittier car. (16:39) And I was like, you're going to win now. (16:41) And she's like, what do you mean I'm losing?(16:43) I'm like, yeah, I don't know how to explain it. (16:44) You're going to win now because before you had to have this fucking lifestyle, it's like if you're doing it for lifestyle, you're going to fucking lose. (16:54) You need to do it because it's in here.(16:58) You know, if you're not willing to look like a failure, you will be one. (17:02) You have to be willing to look like a failure in order to be successful. (17:06) You have to.(17:07) And, you know, I have a lot of mentors in the past. (17:12) They're all multimillionaires now. (17:13) Awesome.(17:13) Go you, Alan. (17:14) But you don't understand the stories I hear. (17:17) There are stories where it's like, you don't understand.(17:19) I tried to get 20 grand from my mom. (17:21) Like I, she said, fuck you. (17:23) Like I, you know, I went to everybody.(17:25) No one would lend me money. (17:26) Now, you know, he's got 25 million. (17:29) It's like you don't understand.(17:32) You have to go through those years of like nobody believes in you. (17:36) You have to. (17:38) And if you tried your best to like keep your beamer instead of actually go for your goals and dreams, you're not going to win.(17:46) You're going to have to play that game forever. (17:48) And then you're probably going to start some YouTube channel that that somehow makes money being full of shit.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:54) It's a whole thing. (17:55) I thought you were going to shout out the future NLU car channel. (17:58) It's not gonna be an NLU car channel, but like I would love to at some point.(18:02) I was like, brother, that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. (18:04) I'm not saying it's not. (18:06) I, uh, I did a next level shout out next level fitness accountability group.(18:09) I did a video in there yesterday, yesterday. (18:11) And I was talking about how one of the most challenging things to understand for a lot of people that are new to fitness, especially, uh, the focus on building muscle is. (18:22) It's very hard to build muscle and look good at the same time.(18:26) Like look, look good body composition wise, a hundred percent. (18:29) And it's set up that way where like, if you want to be lean forever, you kind of can, but you're not going to get any stronger. (18:35) And eventually it's going to hit a point of diminishing returns, but you also can't bulk forever either.(18:39) And just get strong. (18:40) Like at some point you're going to have to diet and look, feel weak and frail. (18:44) This is the same thing.(18:46) If you're playing not to lose your abs, you're not going to get stronger. (18:50) If you're playing not to lose your strength, you're most likely never going to see your abs. (18:55) That's just unfortunately the way it is again.

Alan Lazaros

(18:58) Fitness parallels success, but that's the same with everything, right? (19:01) That is it. (19:02) You, you have to, the law of trade-offs you have to be willing to.(19:07) And that's, I have a actor that I coach and he's one 91 right now, 191 pounds, six foot one. (19:16) And he's like, let's push it. (19:18) I was like, brother, you've been, you've been bulking for like a long time.(19:22) Are you sure? (19:23) So the camera adds weight, like you're getting a little fluffy, right? (19:27) We should lean you out.(19:28) And he's like, I want to push it a little more. (19:29) Let's do four more weeks. (19:30) He's going to go to 195.(19:33) He's not by any means fat. (19:34) He's in great shape. (19:35) It's just, there's, it depends on your goal.(19:37) So, but he, I said, dude, I can tell you're pumped about this bulking thing. (19:43) How often did you bulk before? (19:44) And he's like, dude, I was so afraid to get fat.(19:47) You never put on muscle because you were afraid. (19:52) He's like, I'm stronger than ever. (19:53) My, my joints, ligaments, and tendons are great.(19:56) He didn't say that, but that's what I'm extrapolating. (19:58) He's, he, he's in the best. (20:01) He's the strongest he's ever been holistically.(20:04) Right. (20:05) And I remember thinking to myself, and this dude has done modeling. (20:08) He's like, he was really, really lean, like eight pack the whole night.(20:11) I got something in my goddamn eye. (20:13) I think it's a hair in my eye. (20:14) But anyways, so, uh, I was telling him you don't bulk.(20:17) Like you didn't use to bulk. (20:18) I find this all the time. (20:20) People don't like bulking and it's like, where did we get it in our head?(20:25) That you can, that you can somehow build muscle without gaining weight.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:28) That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. (20:30) Yeah. (20:30) But I don't even think that's the argument.(20:31) I think the argument is it's not about building muscle. (20:33) It's about looking good. (20:36) It's about being lean.

Alan Lazaros

(20:37) It's not, you have to look terrible in order to look good. (20:40) You have to be willing to look terrible in order to look good.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:43) You have to be willing to look terrible to look your best. (20:47) I'm telling you with certainty, you don't have to look terrible.

Alan Lazaros

(20:51) You have to be willing to give up being lean temporarily to gain muscle so that the next time you're lean, you look even better. (21:00) Is there like a law of opposites? (21:02) Yes, you have to be willing to be broke to get rich.(21:04) You have to be willing to be fat to get jacked. (21:07) I'm not fat. (21:09) He's outside of your comfort zone.(21:11) His eight pack is cloudy. (21:14) He was shredded when we first started working together. (21:16) I'm sitting here going, everyone's going to think I'm the worst coach ever.(21:18) You've gotten worse. (21:20) No, no, no. (21:20) Underneath that is a physique better than he's ever had.(21:24) You have to give up to grow up. (21:25) You have to. (21:26) I don't know if anyone has ever explained it well.(21:29) It's like if you're playing not to lose your abs, you're going to guarantee you stay stuck then. (21:33) You're not going to build fucking muscle. (21:36) And then people cheat.(21:36) They use peptides and steroids. (21:39) And it's like you're trying to skirt around the inevitable scientific fact that in order to grow up, you have to give up. (21:46) You're not going to be Michael Phelps and be at the bus stop every morning with your kids.(21:53) There's a very practical, real... (21:57) Emily and I talk about this all the time because we want to start a family too. (22:00) I am trying my goddamn best.(22:02) I did my runway earlier today. (22:04) I know we got to get out of here. (22:06) Top three goals.(22:07) Top three priorities. (22:08) Top three goals. (22:09) Top three metrics.(22:10) Top three habits. (22:11) Most important skill. (22:12) I did that today and I was like, fuck.(22:15) Like these are kind of fucking conflicting. (22:19) You know, I want to be available for her. (22:21) I want to be, you know, coaching 40 plus people by the end of the quarter.(22:25) I want to also be 10 pound in 10 week challenge. (22:28) I want to be 195 sub 15% body fat. (22:31) I'm sitting here going, how the fuck am I supposed to do all that?(22:35) And I'm going to do it. (22:36) Okay. (22:37) I'm going to do it, but it's going to be awful.(22:39) And here's why. (22:40) Every single thing I have to give up to do those conflicts with the other thing that I need to give. (22:46) It's like very difficult to multidisciplinary.(22:50) There's something called multidisciplinary optimization, which is basically stupid. (22:54) You can only optimize for one thing at a time, but we all live dynamic lives. (22:58) You're not going to just be jacked.(22:59) Like, unless you're going to be C bum or whatever we talked about. (23:02) Like he didn't do anything else probably for those six years and he destroyed his body long-term. (23:08) So it's like, how do you achieve your goals and dreams?(23:11) Be happy, healthy, productive, and fit and be in love and do it all without burning anything to the ground. (23:18) Like it is insane how difficult that is. (23:21) And all these multimillionaires that I've mentored with and coached and whatever, both, they all gave something up to get to where they are.(23:30) And they don't talk about it until later on and they don't talk about it in front of people. (23:35) They talk about it behind the scenes. (23:36) I find out on a walk in the woods that that $20,000 you needed from your mom didn't come through and you had to figure it out.(23:43) And that you had to lean on your house and you don't realize. (23:47) And that's one of the cool things about getting a mentor or a coach. (23:49) Like they can tell you the truth.(23:51) I was at an event last night where one of my clients, Bianca, shout out to you. (23:55) I know you listen. (23:56) She shared a story where it was like, I'm so glad you shared that.(24:00) And she wouldn't have shared it necessarily publicly. (24:02) Maybe she would have. (24:03) I don't know, B.(24:04) But like, I was like, thank you for sharing that because everyone here knows how next level you are. (24:10) And they need to see that at one point you were that stupid. (24:14) And I don't mean stupid against you, B.(24:16) You're great. (24:16) I just meant like all of us were down and out at some point. (24:21) And some of us had to do that to get to where we are.(24:24) And I just wish people understood. (24:27) Like if you have a nice car right now and you're playing not to lose and it's a thousand dollar car payment, you're probably struggling. (24:36) And you're probably going to have to give something up in order to get to the next level.(24:40) Like Emily and I share a car. (24:41) I didn't want to do that. (24:43) Like sacrifice is a part of this equation.(24:45) And now we don't have to. (24:46) That's the paradox. (24:48) I don't have to fucking share a car now.(24:49) But back then, you know, I was willing to. (24:52) The willingness score is so important. (24:54) And I'm actually working on something called the willingness score because I'm realizing the people I coach need to have it to be really high in order to like actually get to the next level.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:02) I asked her on the other day, I was like, would you, you think we should share a car? (25:05) And now that I actually like go places and do things, I don't think it's honestly feasible, but, but we were like, yeah, we would definitely do that tomorrow. (25:12) It's just a matter of now.(25:13) It's like, I actually like my car is going to be at the airport for three days because I have a five 30 flight. (25:19) Like, I don't want her to have to drive me to the airport at two 30 in the morning.

Alan Lazaros

(25:21) It's interesting how you're at a place where, but by the time you get willing, a lot of times it's like, you can't do it anymore.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:28) But I think you got really good at finances after, I know, you know, it's yeah. (25:32) But would I have, that's the thing is like, would I have been if I wasn't so bad at them? (25:36) I know exactly.(25:38) The last thing before we go, we have something we've talked about so many times, the pain, pleasure pendulum, the further you swing to fuck. (25:43) No, the more you're willing to swing to hell. (25:45) Yes.(25:45) And I think that just is, I have been. (25:50) Yes. (25:50) There are people that are like destitute, really struggling financially.(25:53) Of course. (25:53) I was as close to as broke as you can be. (25:58) I mean, I was, you were past zero.(26:00) I was $40,000 in debt with no income for a while. (26:03) And it was fucking too. (26:04) And my bills were high.(26:05) I had a car payment and I had to pay rent. (26:07) Like that was really bad. (26:08) I don't ever going to that spot.(26:11) I don't ever want to be there again. (26:12) So I think that's helpful. (26:14) It's like, oh, I have to give up.(26:15) I still don't have YouTube TV. (26:17) Like Alan got me to the point where it was like, brother, we got to cancel all this shit to get out of debt. (26:22) I still can't do it.(26:23) I won't do it. (26:24) I can't justify it. (26:25) I can't do it.(26:28) And now you easily could.

Alan Lazaros

(26:29) Yeah. (26:29) But I won't. (26:30) That's the paradox.(26:31) You easily could, but you won't.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:33) It's weird.

Alan Lazaros

(26:33) Yeah. (26:34) And I don't want you to play not to lose, but I also don't want you to play arrogant either. (26:40) And all of us have to stay at five.(26:42) Everything comes down to that. (26:43) Like, are you playing arrogant and entitled and you think you're going to win no matter what? (26:47) You're going to lose for sure.(26:49) Are you playing scared and you're not willing to make a move and you aren't willing to maybe get a worse car temporarily? (26:58) Like then you're probably going to lose too because you have to invest money to make money. (27:01) And it's not just invest money to make money.(27:03) You have to lose. (27:04) You have to risk losing muscle in order to cut. (27:07) You have to risk gaining fat in order to bulk.(27:10) Like these principles are fundamental. (27:12) It's not just fitness. (27:12) It's not just finance.(27:14) It's life. (27:15) And yeah, you can't move forward without taking some risks.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:22) Risk versus reward. (27:23) They are connected. (27:23) All right.(27:23) If you're looking to get fit, we've been talking about fitness a lot. (27:26) And I think fitness is one of the best examples ever of all time. (27:29) One of the best parallels for success.(27:31) Free Next Level Fitness Accountability Group. (27:33) July 1st is coming up quick. (27:34) I think it's next Wednesday, I think.

Alan Lazaros

(27:36) Is this launching before Next Level Hope Foundation?

Kevin Palmieri

(27:39) This is launching on Saturday.

Alan Lazaros

(27:44) Okay, perfect. (27:44) So thank you. (27:46) Huge shout out.(27:47) We had a bunch of people that have donated. (27:50) Two people donated 100 bucks. (27:53) Thank you so much.(27:54) You know who you are. (27:55) One of them actually asked not to be shouted out. (27:58) We are at $721.(28:00) We're almost to our $1,000 goal. (28:02) The link to the GoFundMe will be in the show notes. (28:05) All of this money is going to the kids.(28:07) We actually are probably going to end up spending more. (28:08) Kevin and I will do that. (28:11) But we rent out the whole YMCA, Next Level Hope Foundation.(28:13) All the information is there. (28:15) And thank you so much. (28:16) Thank you.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:17) Appreciate you. (28:18) So many wonderful people. (28:20) Appreciate it.(28:20) It's the best. (28:21) It's the best. (28:22) I had somebody message me yesterday.(28:23) They said, I love what you're doing with the kids. (28:25) I appreciate that. (28:25) I appreciate that.(28:26) And I know Alan does as well. (28:27) All right. (28:28) As always, we love you.(28:28) Appreciate you. (28:29) Grateful for each and every one of you. (28:30) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, tune in tomorrow because we'll be here every single day to help you get there.(28:35) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (28:39) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (28:43) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(28:45) We mean it when we say family. (28:47) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (28:51) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(28:54) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:55) And we will talk to you tomorrow.