The Harsh Reality Of Success (2477)

Book Alan’s Business Breakthrough Session. Your first 30-minute coaching call is FREE. Learn how to prioritize success and let your quality of life become the byproduct. - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-breakthrough-session

Join the "Next Level Fitness Accountability Group" – Reach out to Kevin or Alan on Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

_______________________

The climb owes you nothing. In this episode, Kevin and Alan clarify one of the hardest truths in personal development. Doing the right things does not guarantee the outcome you want. They break down why success requires effort, discipline, self-belief, timing, skill, and resilience, but still comes with risk. Through their experience building Next Level University, Alan’s decision to leave a high-paying corporate career, Kevin’s trust in the right partnership, and years of coaching client patterns, they show why the goal is not blind confidence. The goal is to stack the right skills, strengthen your identity, and keep going without needing life to promise you the reward first.

_______________________

NLU is more than a podcast. From the Next Level Dreamliner to Group Coaching, we provide tools and communities to help you grow with more clarity, consistency, and accountability.

Visit our website and socials through the links below. 👇

Website: http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

Instagram:
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook:
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn:
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:45) Why doing everything right still may not be enough
(4:12) Choosing the risk of trying anyway
(7:36) The problem with level 10 goals
(9:38) What self-belief changes
(12:37) Talent, competition, and the reality of making it
(17:24) Stacking the skills that increase your odds
(20:36) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) One of the things we've mentioned behind the scenes very often in group coaching and what has now become the Next Level Podcast Accelerator is you can literally do all the right things. (0:11) You can do them for a really, really long period of time and you can still end up not successful. (0:17) You can still end up on the side of the mountain dead and I don't think there is a guarantee.(0:23) There is no guarantee that you're going to be successful. (0:25) It doesn't, you can hire the best coach, you can do all those things. (0:29) There's no guarantee and I think that's a heavy reality that we need to talk about.

Alan Lazaros

(0:35) The ultimate humility is accepting in advance before the journey that you might not be successful even if you do all you can with all you have. (0:47) That also takes courage because if you can, if there's no risk, there's no courage needed. (0:53) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:56) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:58) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros. (1:01) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(1:07) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:14) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:30) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:36) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:42) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2477, The Harsh Reality of Success. (1:49) So after yesterday's episode where we were talking about playing scared and playing to win versus playing not to lose, somehow in the conversation we were talking about how one of the hardest realities of this whole thing is you can do everything right.(2:06) You can play to win. (2:07) You can mitigate risks. (2:08) You can do all the stuff.(2:09) You can read the books. (2:10) You can do all that stuff. (2:12) There is no guarantee you're actually going to be the level of successful that you want.(2:16) And I don't know how, oh this is why, and we're going to do an episode on this, but you're like, you said, dude you're like kind of crazy that you didn't really believe any of this was going to happen and you still did it. (2:28) And then we were talking about how it makes sense why a lot of people don't make it because you can do the right things but like a certain, I don't know, I don't, yeah we can talk about the attributes. (2:43) Okay, let's do this.(2:44) Let's just do it this way. (2:45) If somebody, let's say somebody does all the right things, they have the right attributes, they have the mentors, why, what would have to happen for them not to be successful?

Alan Lazaros

(2:54) They pick something that, there's a bunch of other things, so one of them is you pick something that is going away. (3:03) Like if you want to be in the newspaper industry would be an extreme example.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:05) Okay, but isn't there like a, okay, isn't there a subset of people that have done that and then pivoted? (3:10) Of course. (3:11) Right, so like that doesn't, okay, let's keep going.(3:14) That's a circumstance, right? (3:18) You get ill.

Alan Lazaros

(3:23) That's a rough one. (3:24) Yeah. (3:26) What are all the reasons why you might fail?(3:30) You could get ill, you could pick the wrong passion at the wrong time, you could, I mean there's a lot, I mean this could get really bad. (3:39) I mean you could be in a country that has a dictatorship where you can't be an entrepreneur, you could run out of food, shelter, water. (3:53) There's a lot of things that could go wrong for sure and that's one of the things that I think, when I said, you know, when you have a dream and people say go all in, I'm going to try not to speak in extremes but I need to be a little extreme here because I think I am.(4:12) When I say I'd rather try and fail than not try at all, I actually mean that. (4:18) Yeah. (4:19) Like I would rather try to build this company, Alan Lazarus LLC, what you'll never learn in school but desperately need to know.(4:27) I would rather, when I chose to leave corporate making almost 200 grand a year and being seen as a loser after being seen as a success, it's a big fall. (4:37) It's a big fall. (4:38) I got made fun of a lot for like years, seriously, and I decided inside myself that I would rather try and fail than not try at all and I actually meant it.(4:48) It's not some fucking fortune cookie quote, not bumper sticker, I meant like I would rather try and fail and be 80 looking back at my life proud that I tried even if I failed. (5:01) Now I need to caveat this with this duality which is I didn't think I would fail. (5:06) I looked around and I saw successful people and I thought, yeah, I mean I'm definitely smarter than that guy and I'm harder working than that person and I can figure it out.(5:15) But there's no guarantee in anything. (5:19) There's risk with everything. (5:21) I wasn't a hundred percent sure but I was 99.9 percent sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:25) At the risk of sounding arrogant, I don't mean to, but like I feel very good about our future. (5:34) Now again the majority of that is because of you and leadership and your awareness, but like that's always been the thing is like I think it'll get figured out. (5:45) Not saying that I can figure it all out, I'm definitely not.

Alan Lazaros

(5:48) I think there's certain things. (5:49) The calculation in your brain is running. (5:50) Let's unpack it.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:52) It's always been I'll be more successful working with you than I'll be by myself. (5:55) That's always been it. (5:56) Keep going.(5:57) Because it's not just that. (5:58) Like you feel good about our future. (6:00) What does that mean?(6:01) You have a history, right? (6:04) So like you were successful at school, you were successful in college, you were successful in corporate, you were successful at everything you've done essentially. (6:10) Fitness, right?(6:11) Okay, so it's like if there really are fundamentals that carry from just success in general, has a good idea of what the fundamentals are.

Alan Lazaros

(6:20) I appreciate that. (6:21) Of course. (6:22) What you just said out loud, I always wondered why people, I was in the kitchen earlier and I said we had a big day today in large part thanks to you too and the whole team, but like we said something in the kitchen.(6:34) I was preparing our rice for tonight and Emilio and I were together and I said something along the lines of pretty cool for a kid who no one believed in, huh? (6:42) You know, just fucking around and I had this moment where it's like that is kind of true though. (6:47) You know, it's like my mom believed in me but not really.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:53) Yeah, but it's because you had such big goals. (6:56) Yeah, yeah. (6:57) If you just want to like be okay, everyone would have been like fuck it.(7:00) I mean you could do that for sure. (7:00) That's a great point.

Alan Lazaros

(7:01) It's a great point because when you're shooting for like the moon, people don't believe in you because you believe in yourself more than them.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:08) Yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(7:08) Whereas people believed in you more than you believed in yourself so it seemed like people believed in you. (7:13) That is a breakthrough.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:15) It's always felt like I was undershooting. (7:17) It's like, well Kev, you can do better than that. (7:18) It's like I don't, I actually don't think so, but thank you.(7:21) Thank you so much. (7:23) Where everybody's like, Alan, there's no way you're gonna do as well as you think. (7:26) Like well, maybe not now, but give me like 20 years.

Alan Lazaros

(7:31) Brother, that's such a good point. (7:32) It might be that simple. (7:34) Occam's razor, the simplest explanation is the best one.(7:36) I know this wasn't your point, but we got to go here. (7:39) Dude, if you have level 10 self-belief and you tell people your level 10 goals, they're not going to believe in you. (7:47) Unless they have.(7:48) Especially when you have nothing to prove yet. (7:50) You've proven nothing so far.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:51) If they have level 10 self-belief, they will. (7:52) Exactly.

Alan Lazaros

(7:53) Or level 10 delusion.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:55) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(7:55) If you have zero self-belief and you don't shoot high at all, everyone will seem to believe in you. (8:00) Pretty much, yeah. (8:01) I, that is such a big breakthrough.(8:04) Pretty much. (8:04) Because if I had said, Hey, I want to graduate, you know, it's like, I was like, I'm going to get straight A's. (8:10) I'm going to.(8:11) And so it's not that they didn't believe in me. (8:15) It's that they didn't believe in those insane, seemingly insane goals. (8:19) What a breakthrough that is.(8:20) Cause in my life, it's like, fuck you. (8:22) Are you kidding me? (8:24) You seriously don't think I can do this.(8:26) And you heard this in the Michael Phelps interview. (8:28) I sent Kev a Michael Phelps podcast and you heard him say, like, I love when people say I can't do something. (8:35) I love it.(8:37) Let's go. (8:38) Like I tell me I can't do it. (8:41) I love it.(8:41) What do you feel when people say you can do something? (8:47) Surprised. (8:47) Shocked.(8:48) It's like, that's the best. (8:49) Like you must be such a good person. (8:50) I get that.(8:51) I do. (8:51) I got that all the time. (8:53) I love it.(8:54) I'm like, it's so simple. (8:55) I feel so supported with Emilia. (8:58) It's been like that, dude, nothing I've said.(9:00) I'm not joking. (9:01) Nothing I've said. (9:03) She was like, yeah, of course.(9:04) And I eventually was like, sweetheart, you do, dude, I'm not joking. (9:08) You and I have had some big days, right? (9:10) I mean, $90,000 a day.(9:12) Okay. (9:13) She's like, yeah, of course. (9:14) It's like, that's so invalidating.(9:17) That's not like an, of course, that's not like just something that happens. (9:20) This doesn't happen. (9:21) You know?(9:22) She's on the other side of it where it's like, she believes in me so much that a $10,000 day is like, cool. (9:28) I'm not fucking with you, man. (9:29) It's literally like, you know, sweet.(9:31) That's great. (9:32) Like, let's keep it up. (9:32) And it's, uh, whereas with other people, it'd be like, wait, what?(9:36) You, you did what? (9:38) And so at the end of the day, what matters here is how much do you believe in yourself? (9:45) And if other people don't believe in you, you most likely believe in yourself more than they believe in themselves.(9:51) And if you, if they believe in you, cause you thought everyone believed in you when in reality, they just believe in themselves more than you believe in yourself.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:58) No, I don't think, I don't think it's that. (10:00) I think it's the fact. (10:01) No, definitely not.(10:02) It's that they saw something in me. (10:04) I couldn't see in myself, which they extrapolated out to mean something.

Alan Lazaros

(10:09) Okay. (10:10) Okay. (10:11) So I saw something in me.(10:13) They didn't see in me because when you just said all those things, all right, this is so vulnerable. (10:20) When you said all that, that I've basically been successful at everything I've ever done. (10:24) When people don't believe in me, sometimes I'm like, what the fuck?(10:30) Like, do you have your eyes open at all? (10:33) Like I've never failed. (10:34) I remember, I remember I had a really hard conversation with my mom once.(10:37) She's like, she didn't believe in me. (10:41) And she's like, you know, is this real? (10:42) Are you really going to do this?(10:43) And it's like, mom, I fucking have done everything I've ever said I was going to do. (10:49) Who says they're going to get straight A's and then does it? (10:52) Who says they're going to go to WPI and get it paid for and then does it?(10:56) Who graduates with high distinction while getting blasted? (11:00) Like, I am so frustrated, dude. (11:02) It's like, it's like, um, do you, you feel so unseen.(11:09) I just feel so unseen. (11:10) You just said like, well, you were successful at fitness. (11:12) You were successful at school.(11:14) You were successful in college. (11:15) You were successful in corporate. (11:16) You were successful in business.(11:18) Yeah. (11:19) Thank you so freaking much.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:21) Captain obvious. (11:22) Like you, you know, what's invalidating on the other end though. (11:24) And somebody is like, I knew you could do it.(11:26) So I know, fuck you. (11:28) No, no, but here's the thing. (11:29) I didn't.

Alan Lazaros

(11:30) So no one says that to me. (11:31) Well, I know they do. (11:32) It's like BS.(11:35) No, you didn't believe in me at all. (11:37) Some people have come back and said, I knew you could do it. (11:39) It's like, you just remember you were making fun of me at the beginning saying I couldn't do it.(11:44) Interesting. (11:44) But yeah, this is a good conversation. (11:46) I don't think anyone talks about this.(11:48) I've never had this conversation before. (11:49) This is, this is something, well, we're on the opposite end of it. (11:52) And then another, another side of this coin, we're talking about self-belief just to bring it back to the point when people come to me and they're like, oh my God, oh my God, you got, you and Kevin did it.(12:03) It's like, don't sound so fucking surprised. (12:06) You know, it's like, obviously when you were at our event seven years ago, you didn't fucking think this would work out. (12:12) One of them, one of my clients, I don't know if you're listening or not.(12:15) You'll know I'm talking, I'll keep it anonymous. (12:17) She's like, I got to say, I thought you guys were delusional. (12:21) Like I thought you guys, I thought you were a little bit delusional and you've, you've, you've proven it over time.(12:25) In my head, it's like, Mo, well, now, you know, it's Mo. (12:29) Mo, what's happening? (12:30) Um, in my head, it's like, I was going to do this no matter what, but how many people could you not tell?

Kevin Palmieri

(12:37) No, because how many people have come through and said that? (12:39) Yeah. (12:40) You know, that dude, uh, we did an episode of this a long time ago.(12:45) One of, one of Tyra and I's like favorite date days to do is to go to the theater where they show like the musicals. (12:53) I love musicals. (12:54) I don't know what the hell happened to me.(12:55) Yeah. (12:55) I love it. (12:56) Same.(12:56) I had the same awareness this time where I was like, this, this dude is a fucking stud. (13:04) He's handsome. (13:06) He's tall.(13:07) He's jacked. (13:08) He can sing, he can act, he can dance. (13:10) And guess what?(13:11) He's probably not going to make it. (13:14) He's probably not going to make it. (13:16) The, the, the, the girl he was performing with gorgeous, beautiful voice.(13:21) The seems like the most positive magnetic energy. (13:25) I don't know if I, I don't know if I bet on her. (13:28) Okay.(13:29) So why? (13:29) Let's talk about that. (13:30) Because you're the, you're the big fish in this pond and we're here to see you.(13:36) But like, this is Manchester, New Hampshire. (13:40) Like if I went to a show in Boston with, you know, a bigger, a bigger New York city Broadway, who, how, who, how good do you have to be to get there?

Alan Lazaros

(13:50) Well, 1% of 1% of people that are already Olympians make that's what I'm saying. (13:56) Gold medal. (13:56) Right.(13:57) So the stats are very, now this is a weird thing. (14:01) Good. (14:04) It's really cool to aspire.(14:06) Like again, Serena Williams, Tom Brady, like Michael Phelps, these people, right. (14:12) Who's the Christian Rinaldo, best soccer player, whatever his name's Rinaldo. (14:16) I don't know what his first name is.(14:18) I think it's Christian or something like that. (14:20) Cristiano, Cristiano, Cristiano. (14:21) Okay.(14:22) And again, I'm, I was never a huge soccer fan. (14:24) That's not my point. (14:24) I don't care that the point is excellence and getting to the top of any industry, getting to the top of any industry.(14:31) Let's just talk about that success. (14:33) The, the percentage it's cool to aspire and to be inspired like a Steve Jobs, right? (14:40) Like he changed the world and, and a lot of leaders looked up to him and a lot of leaders thought he was atrocious.(14:46) And I understand. (14:47) I'm not, I'm not, there's two sides to every coin. (14:49) There's that he was a visionary.(14:50) He changed the world. (14:51) Cool. (14:52) Looking up to him is great.(14:54) But like the percentage of people that read that book by Walter Isaacson, like I did, and then like decide to change the world and then actually do is like probably one in 10 million.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:06) Well, that's why it doesn't surprise me when somebody reaches out and says like, Oh, you guys did it. (15:09) It's like, yeah, I understand. (15:11) How many fucking, how many, how many people have you gone?(15:14) You go to the local coffee shop, right? (15:16) You go to the local coffee shop, you go to the local brewery, coffee, coffee shop on a Sunday, brewery, Friday night, somebody playing music. (15:22) How many of those people actually fucking make it?(15:24) Yeah. (15:25) It's so, it's so rare. (15:28) It's so rare.

Alan Lazaros

(15:30) I had, I had a friend in the past. (15:33) We drove across the country to LA and he wanted to be an A-list actor and, and I wanted to work in show business. (15:40) And I, I was close with him and his mom.(15:44) And I was helping his mom with some stuff when he was away. (15:47) Cause he lived out there. (15:47) I came home and I had this huge argument with her in the backyard.(15:52) I kid, I kid you not, I was helping her with, you know, stuff in the backyard and sweet lady, huge fan, uh, you know, literally grew up as a kid with her. (16:01) And I had this huge argument with her. (16:04) She's like, you know, Alan, uh, you know, not everybody makes it.(16:08) And I was like, I know, but they're high there. (16:11) And it was this huge, it wasn't like a fight, but it was definitely a, a passionate debate of respectful, passionate debate. (16:20) And quite frankly, like she doesn't really know what she's talking about.(16:23) And I understand why I'm not being mean, you know, worked for AT&T, did her thing. (16:28) Like she, she was, she knows she, she didn't have huge dreams. (16:30) She's not, she's not a dream chaser, right.(16:33) But her son was, and I was like, well, he could make it if he actually went to auditions. (16:39) You know, he doesn't work that hard. (16:41) Like he needs to get his shit together, you know?(16:44) And, and I care about this person so much and I want to see them win. (16:48) I literally lived in LA with this guy. (16:50) So in my head, it's like, I would, I applied to like a hundred jobs while I was there.(16:55) I had an interview at SpaceX lined up, like there is a way to make it. (17:01) I know. (17:02) And all of us can just say, well, not everybody makes it.(17:04) Yeah. (17:04) If you go on, you know, only a couple auditions, like there has to be a level of tenacity. (17:13) Like, yeah, you're right.(17:14) I might not make it, but I'm fucking gonna give it everything I've got. (17:17) And I'm much more likely to make it than anyone else. (17:22) Why?(17:22) Because I'm stacking everything. (17:24) I'm going to stack tenacity. (17:26) I'm going to stack intelligence.(17:27) I'm going to stack work ethic. (17:28) I'm going to stack humility. (17:29) I'm going to stack self-belief.(17:31) I'm going to stack peers. (17:32) I'm going to stack mentors. (17:33) I'm going to stack knowledge and expertise and empathy and vulnerability and building trust and courage and humility.(17:39) I'm going to stack it all. (17:40) I'm going to stack every fucking skill I can until I get there. (17:43) And yeah, I might not get there, but at least I can look back going, I gave all I had to this goddamn life.(17:49) Now I've learned over time, coaching for the last 11 years, that not everyone is willing to do that. (17:55) Not everyone is wired to do that. (17:57) Not everyone wants to do that.(17:59) And the really hard reality that sucks is not everyone can be the top of every industry. (18:05) There are some people that just don't have the potential. (18:08) People with disabilities, people with mental disabilities.(18:13) Emilia calls them something. (18:17) What is it? (18:18) Not disability, it's different ability or something.(18:22) I don't know. (18:23) But anyways, there are some people who really can't. (18:26) They really can't.(18:27) And that sucks. (18:29) However, you can't allow what people can't do or what you can't do to stop you from what you can do. (18:40) Because for every Serena Williams, Michael Phelps, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, whoever the F, whoever, don't care.(18:47) Okay? (18:47) Tony Robbins, whoever, top of any industry. (18:51) Like, they had to believe it enough to do whatever it takes with an integrity.(19:00) And some of them did it without any integrity. (19:02) So that's a whole other conversation. (19:03) But at the end of the day, wouldn't you rather believe it and work toward it forever than not have goals and dreams?(19:11) And I know that sounds extreme, but I'm going to do it, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:17) I think yes, depending on the level of self-belief, which we're going to talk about in tomorrow's episode. (19:21) I think it's directly connected. (19:23) I agreed.

Alan Lazaros

(19:23) And obviously the woman that I had that passionate debate with, she doesn't believe in herself. (19:29) And she also knows that her son doesn't believe in himself as much as I do. (19:34) Because she said to me, she's like, you know, you might not make it.(19:37) It's like, how fucking dare you? (19:40) It's like, I'm going to make it happen. (19:42) But she's like, yeah, no, I believe in you.(19:44) It's like, no, you don't. (19:46) Don't tell me you do. (19:47) No, you don't.(19:48) And I will show you that I'm going to make it. (19:52) And if I like, but that's the thing. (19:55) If you don't have self-belief, of course, you're like, statistically, it's possible.(19:59) I don't make it, but I'm not going to like let some, I'm not going to be some fucking statistic. (20:03) You know, if I was going to be a statistic, things would have been a lot different. (20:07) Yeah, you had a lot of opportunity.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:08) All right, we got to go. (20:09) Cause we're going to, I want it. (20:10) We were going to do it.(20:10) It's kind of going to be a part two of this, but like we talk about self-belief all the time, but I think we're really starting to understand more and more and more about it. (20:18) And as I actually started to myself more and more, I understand what a fucking cheat code it is. (20:23) Yeah.(20:23) It's the best. (20:23) It's unfair. (20:24) Yeah, it is unfair.(20:26) If you have self-belief versus somebody who doesn't, it is unfair.

Alan Lazaros

(20:30) Nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:30) And I think it's an interesting, that's an interesting conversation. (20:33) All right. (20:33) Alan for coaching next little fitness accountability group, all that happy jazz as always.(20:37) We love you. (20:37) Appreciate you. (20:38) Grateful for each and every one of you.(20:39) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow. (20:42) Cause we will be our every single day to help you get there. (20:45) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.(20:48) Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university. (20:52) We love connecting with the next level family.

Alan Lazaros

(20:55) We mean it when we say family, if you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (21:00) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:04) Thank you again. (21:05) And we will talk to you tomorrow.