Why You Don’t Deserve More Success Yet (2479)

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In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros examine why success requires more than wanting it. Kevin reflects on the pressure of living the life he once worked for, while Alan breaks down the discipline, sacrifice, and self-awareness required to keep growing without falling apart.

This conversation challenges the way you think about goals, discomfort, and readiness. Before chasing the next level, ask yourself whether you have built the capacity to carry it.

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NLU is more than a podcast. From the Next Level Dreamliner to Group Coaching, we provide tools and communities to help you grow with more clarity, consistency, and accountability.

Visit our website and socials through the links below. 👇

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Show notes:
(2:15) The reality of getting what you asked for
(4:16) Staying grateful when it gets difficult
(7:05) Building the capacity to sustain success
(10:38) The five S’s of success
(12:10) The question that shapes your goals
(17:21) Why accurate expectations matter
(20:58) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I am in a very small town in Missouri that I've never heard of, and evidently this is a town of like 150 people. (0:09) We had the Next Level Hope Foundation event on Sunday. (0:12) It has been like a whirlwind weekend.(0:14) And I had this moment where I was like, Kev, this is exactly what you've said you wanted. (0:19) You're gonna have to go and fucking do what you said you wanted to do in order to get the results you claim to want. (0:25) And I think that is the disconnect for a lot of us.(0:28) The reason we don't deserve more success yet is because we're not actually willing to do what it takes to get that success. (0:34) And or we're not ready for it. (0:36) That's all I have for the opening.(0:38) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:41) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:43) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros.(0:46) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:52) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:59) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:15) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:21) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:27) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,479. (1:31) We're creeping up on 2,500. (1:33) Why you don't deserve more success yet.(1:35) This was a really, yeah, this was a breakthrough for me. (1:40) As stupid as this is going to sound, it's going to, it's going to sound stupid. (1:45) Sunday, we had the Next Level Hope Foundation event.(1:50) My charger at home, my car charger at home wasn't working. (1:53) Something happened. (1:53) So I had to go charge it the old fashioned way, Electrify America.(1:56) So I was up at like six o'clock in the morning. (1:57) It was a whole thing. (1:58) Came home, spent some time with Taryn, shot an hour down to Worcester.(2:05) We set up and I had this moment like during the event where I got the Sunday scaries. (2:10) And I very rarely get the Sunday scaries. (2:14) What are the Sunday scaries?(2:15) The Sunday scaries are when you get this like overwhelming feeling of dread and heaviness that the next day is Monday. (2:21) It's very rare for me. (2:21) I very rarely get that.(2:22) Yeah. (2:23) But I had the travel feels. (2:25) Oh, of course.(2:26) I had the travel feels. (2:27) And I had this moment on the ride home where I was like, Kev, this is when you fucking started this in like, when you started this in 2017, you didn't really understand when you, in 2018, when 2019, like when you really got rolling, this is what you said you wanted. (2:41) Like you wanted to have something and the next day have something.(2:45) And then the next day have something like you wanted to do that. (2:48) Now is the time that you actually have the opportunity to do that. (2:52) It's really, it's time to, to go all in.(2:56) It's time to put your chips on the table. (2:58) This is what you said you wanted. (2:59) And I think there is a disconnect between what we say we want and then what it will feel like when we get it.(3:05) I told Alan, and again, this isn't a, this isn't a brag, but like just for context, it's 7.30 where I am. (3:12) I'm an hour behind. (3:14) It's 8.30 since I left the East Coast. (3:16) I've been up since 1.45. So I don't know how many hours that is. (3:20) And I haven't stopped all day. (3:23) I'm not, that's not sustainable.(3:24) And I don't want to do that every day. (3:25) And I definitely don't want to do that every week. (3:27) But like, this is, I actually feel like I'm right on the brink of being deserving of the level of success that I have today in this moment.(3:38) Now, obviously I have to keep doing the things in order to sustain it, but it would have been really easy to like come out here and text our client and be like, Hey, you know, let's meet at noon or, well, we have a full day tomorrow. (3:51) It would have been really easy to do that. (3:53) It would have been so easy to do that.(3:54) And I just think, I don't know, there's that, there's something in that for me. (3:57) Maybe the lesson is for me in this episode. (3:59) I don't know.(3:59) But you don't really know what it's going to be like when you say you want it. (4:04) I know you did, but most, most people don't, myself included. (4:08) When you get close to it, you have to, you have to keep that same energy as the kids say.(4:15) Keep that same energy.

Alan Lazaros

(4:16) The gratitude. (4:17) You have to have the gratitude in the suck.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:21) Yeah. (4:22) It's not easy to have. (4:23) The suck might be bad.(4:26) I mean, it might be, it might be worse than you thought.

Alan Lazaros

(4:29) It's 18 hours, 52 minutes from 1 45 AM to 8 37 PM. (4:34) I know you're in central time now, right? (4:37) But that's 18 hours and 52 minutes because you started in EST. So you didn't, it's 18 hours and 52 minutes. (4:44) So 18 hours and 52 minutes of travel and work after a long weekend. (4:51) The event, right? (4:53) How do you stay grateful during the suck?(4:55) And you and I have talked about this in the past, but I want to share this again, because this comes up in coaching all the time. (5:04) What is your relationship with things sucking? (5:12) So when we do 10 pounds in 10 weeks, we have 28, 27, 28.(5:17) I think Tan was the 28th. (5:20) Yeah. (5:21) 28.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:21) I trust you on that.

Alan Lazaros

(5:22) Yeah. (5:23) And I, I know you might be listening. (5:28) I have seen some people already shooting for more than 10 pounds in 10 weeks.(5:34) Now, 10 pounds in 10 weeks mathematically means you need to be in a minimum of a 500 calorie deficit every day on average for 70 days straight. (5:43) That is not a small feat. (5:45) That's like not super easy to do.(5:48) I'm going to have to enjoy my life less for sure. (5:51) Now, do I think it's going to be incredibly hard and challenge my very being? (5:55) No, but it's going to be difficult.(5:57) And if you're not really good at this, some people are shooting for 13 pounds, 15 pounds. (6:03) I just think it's, it's a little reckless. (6:06) I, I think 10 is already kind of a stretch.(6:09) My point of this is I was on with a client earlier and he, he and his wife are joining the 10 pound in 10 week challenge. (6:14) And I was like, dude, this is going to blow. (6:17) If, if you're in a 500 calorie deficit and then you decide not to work out one day, now all of a sudden you have to make up that 300, 400 calories.(6:26) And then what if you also overeat? (6:28) Now you're 800 calories off. (6:29) Now you have to do 800 plus 500, just to 1300 the next day, just to break even.(6:36) Like, you know, this, I know this, this is a metaphor. (6:40) What are the chances you're going to go a 1300 calorie deficit the next day? (6:45) Dude, what are you going to not eat and exercise for two hours instead of one?(6:50) And then still barely break even just to get back on track. (6:53) Like my point of this is if you don't go into a goal with the humility of knowing your life is going to blow, I think you're setting yourself up for failure.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:05) I think one of the, I think one of the reasons is can you actually be ready? (7:11) Can you actually achieve a goal without being capable of sustaining it? (7:15) Like, yeah, there's probably, there's obviously times in a vacuum, but dude, I think that's what it is.(7:20) It's like, I could not have done this three years ago. (7:25) I could not have done what I'm doing today three years ago. (7:27) That's why I didn't have it.(7:29) Yeah, agreed. (7:30) And it, and everything leads up to that. (7:32) I wasn't smart enough yet.(7:34) I wasn't disciplined enough yet. (7:35) I wasn't responsible enough yet. (7:37) None of that stuff.(7:39) Like I wasn't capable enough yet. (7:43) I wasn't capable enough. (7:45) That's my new, that is my new thing.(7:48) I, I went from saying I can't wait until it happens to, I hope I'm ready to sustain it when. (7:57) My goal is to sustain it when. (7:59) That was a, that was a really big shift for me.(8:02) That was a really big, like not, not detached from the outcome in that way. (8:07) No, that's not it. (8:10) But attached to the competence first.(8:14) And then you most likely will be able to sustain the outcome.

Alan Lazaros

(8:17) So here's what I hope lands. (8:19) What was your saying? (8:21) You changed, I can't wait until, to I hope I can sustain it when.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:27) I hope I, that's not the most empowering term, but my goal is to make sure.

Alan Lazaros

(8:32) Hope is not the best strategy.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:33) Yeah, it's a terrible one. (8:33) My goal is to make sure I can sustain it when.

Alan Lazaros

(8:40) My 39th client is officially Kevin Palmieri. (8:46) You know it. (8:47) Nice.(8:47) He's flexing for those of you not on YouTube. (8:50) When our HVAC went out, I know I keep talking about this, but there's a good, there's a good point in this. (8:55) I am capable of coaching 39 clients and I am capable of being consistent and on point and dialed in and high quality.(9:03) However, when it was 95 degrees in my office, I had the moment of, I cannot coach as well under these circumstances. (9:15) And I was like, how humbling is that? (9:17) So me trying to go for 50 clients by the end of the year, which is insane, but I'm going to do it because I want to do it.(9:25) But like, okay, so little did I know my coaching ability was predicated on HVAC. (9:31) We have an excellent, excellent central air system where this place will cool down very, very quickly. (9:39) And now even better because I actually put putty around and whatever.(9:42) The point is, is like when I shot for 50 clients, I didn't go in my head and go, well, I'm not going to be able to do that unless I have good AC. (9:52) There's things we don't, we have blind spots until we get there. (9:59) You know what I mean?(10:00) I didn't start running a mile of hay for 112 miles now and go, oh, my knee is probably going to bother me about a hundred miles in. (10:09) My knee is going to really start to bother me. (10:11) You don't anticipate that.(10:13) But here's my point. (10:15) You can, if you anticipate that it's not going to be awful, you will, you will be rocked. (10:22) I didn't say I'm going to run a mile a day every day and I'm going to be upset when it's difficult.(10:27) Did you expect to get injured? (10:30) Yes, absolutely. (10:32) Now, not consciously, but dude, I, you and I talked about my relationship with suffering.(10:38) We have the five S's of success. (10:40) It's sacrifice, struggle, suffer, success, and then sustain. (10:45) If you, when you set a goal, it's predicated on something you want.(10:51) And the reason you don't have it is either internal or external or both. (10:55) There's some sort of a constraint. (10:58) My relationship with my life getting worse to try to achieve a goal is very positive.(11:03) And I didn't realize that because I'll coach some people. (11:06) And one of my clients, shout out to you. (11:08) I know you're listening.(11:09) He's like, I keep having this voice come up. (11:11) Like, is this going to be worth it? (11:12) Dude, I never have that.(11:15) Do you have that? (11:17) Your core wound tends to have that. (11:19) I think, I mean, that's like my number one question.(11:21) Yeah. (11:22) It's like, is this going to be worth it for me? (11:23) I never have that.(11:24) Like, I'm never like, oh, is this going to be worth it? (11:27) It's always worth it.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:28) I, dude, when I, the first thing I thought when I started running is this is going to affect my squat. (11:32) First thing I thought, it's going to affect my squat for sure. (11:36) Negatively, you think?(11:38) 100%. (11:38) Even if you mitigate? (11:41) I mean, I don't know.(11:42) I am very, I have been accused of pumping the brakes in the past. (11:48) I'm preparing for travel. (11:50) I know how bad this is going to be with X amount of clients and being here.(11:55) When I'm with a client from 9am until 5pm, you know what I'm doing? (12:01) When I go to the bathroom, I'm bashing my WhatsApp. (12:03) But not when I'm with a client, I'm not.(12:04) It's not a good look. (12:05) Yeah, 100%. (12:05) It's not a good look.

Alan Lazaros

(12:07) I'm preparing for that. (12:08) I've been preparing for that. (12:10) What I hope lands here is, what is one of your dominant questions when it comes to goal setting?(12:15) Because if yours is, is this going to be worth it? (12:20) You're going to, and I have this as the most important skill for one of my clients. (12:23) It's override that.(12:26) Override that. (12:26) Now, don't override it to the extreme. (12:32) There is such thing as being silly with overdoing grinding, right?(12:37) But if you really want the goal, like if you want to, I'm going to use 10 pounds in 10 week challenge because yes, I want you to join if you want in. (12:44) But also, it's a great example. (12:46) Is he going to be questioning every single week whether or not it's worth it?(12:50) Well, I'm just like, yeah, this is going to blow and that's fine. (12:53) The quality of life piece, I said this verbatim to a client today. (12:56) I said, you're so worried about your quality of life.(12:59) Like just can that. (13:00) Fuck that. (13:01) Don't worry about that.(13:02) Just try it. (13:03) Try not to care about your quality of life for 10 weeks. (13:06) You're going to crush it.(13:07) You're going to fucking crush it. (13:09) But dude, imagine how easy goal setting and getting would be if you didn't care about your quality of life.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:14) Well, yeah, but 10 weeks is a big ask to start.

Alan Lazaros

(13:16) All right, two weeks. (13:18) Give me two weeks where you actually don't concern yourself with your quality of life. (13:22) You will be very powerful.(13:25) Because most of the obstacles that we have to like losing weight or, you know, building muscle or achieving financial goals. (13:33) I have a client who is, has literally increased her income by 40% already this year. (13:41) This year.(13:42) But her life sucks. (13:44) Like it's bad. (13:46) Her quality of life.(13:47) She feels more self-respect than ever. (13:50) She's crushing it, paying off the absolute crushing. (13:52) I know you're listening, but her quality of life sucks.(13:55) I think for me, that is the thing that I hope lands is change your relationship. (14:01) You don't have to go to my extreme. (14:03) But you got to change your relationship with this need for like a really positive quality of life.(14:08) Amelia and I recently set a new quote unquote bedtime. (14:12) We are trying to fit more in, in less time. (14:15) And it's like, fuck.(14:18) Like that sucks. (14:20) That really. (14:21) And it's like, yep.(14:22) Okay. (14:23) It's going to suck, but it's going to be worth it. (14:26) That I think is one of the number one reasons people don't achieve their goals and dreams is because they believe on some level that they should be able to have a high quality of life as well.(14:36) And the people out there that are flaunting their quality of life, you're only seeing the five minutes on social media. (14:42) That's magnificent. (14:43) You're not seeing the, the, the 10 years of suck and, or the 10 hours of suck that very same day.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:50) Oh, we were talking about this. (14:53) Oh, you see me golfing all the time on social media. (14:55) That's a very, very small amount of time.

Alan Lazaros

(14:59) A hundred percent.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:00) Right.

Alan Lazaros

(15:00) You see me in the gym on social media all the time. (15:03) That's only what? (15:05) 10% of my day.(15:06) Not even 5%. (15:08) One 20th of my day.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:10) That's a conversation for a different or another episode in the future. (15:13) How do you actually figure out if it's going to be worth it? (15:16) Because I do think that is a piece that's missing.

Alan Lazaros

(15:19) I think you have to simulate both and see which one you'll regret more. (15:25) That's what I do. (15:26) It doesn't work.(15:27) It doesn't work. (15:28) No, because that's already, you'd already know whether or not it would be worth it. (15:32) You know, I'm going to regret not giving this a shot.(15:36) And then you change the target next time. (15:39) Like you, why not 20 pounds in 10 weeks? (15:42) Because I'll regret that.(15:44) I'll, I'll 100, I will 100% regret that with everything else we have going on. (15:48) But here's the thing. (15:49) When you first start, you don't know.(15:52) You don't know how bad that's actually going to suck. (15:54) I'd rather somebody do five pounds in 10 weeks to start. (15:57) Same.(15:57) And that's what one person is doing. (15:58) Shout out to Eugene. (15:59) But dude, like a thousand calorie deficit for 70 days straight is like really hard.(16:05) That's like really terrible. (16:07) Like you can't have a good quality of life and do that. (16:10) And I think that that's what's missing, at least from my perspective.(16:13) So I'll, I'll answer that. (16:14) I'll ask you that question though, because if you weren't simulating in the past or maybe someone out there that doesn't simulate. (16:21) For me, I just go into the future and I go, okay, this is the goal.(16:25) This is what I'm trying to become. (16:27) This is the process that's going to be necessary. (16:29) This is what I'm going to have to give up.(16:30) Is it worth it? (16:31) Yeah, of course. (16:32) Will I regret not doing this?(16:33) Yes, definitely. (16:34) Or will I regret doing this?

Kevin Palmieri

(16:36) Well, I think it's based on your understanding and your awareness of what the thing is and what it is, right? (16:41) There is, there's definitely a correlation. (16:43) Yeah.(16:44) 10 pounds in 10 weeks is not, it's going to suck for sure. (16:48) Right. (16:48) But like it's been worse.(16:51) So I know this will be worth it.

Alan Lazaros

(16:53) This travel, if you had never traveled, you would not have been able to calculate how bad the suck would be. (16:59) That's why I was dreading it.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:01) Because I knew how bad this was going to suck. (17:04) I knew exactly, honestly, it's not as bad as I thought somehow. (17:08) I'm exhausted and I'm tired and I don't feel great.(17:11) And I'm like, I'm redlining it, but I don't have to meet my client until nine tomorrow, 9am. (17:17) Dude, 9am is late for me. (17:18) That's good.(17:18) I can sleep. (17:19) I'll sleep a little bit.

Alan Lazaros

(17:21) You're the one who had the wrong expectations, wrong approach, wrong time perspective. (17:28) Wrong expectations is number one for a reason. (17:30) If you think 10 pounds in 10 weeks is going to be easy and then you go into it and your life sucks, you're going to quit.(17:37) If you go into it, knowing it's going to blow and accepting that in advance, and then it's not as bad as you thought, you're going to keep going. (17:44) Like it's very important to have accurate expectations.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:48) I wonder if that's what it is. (17:50) It'll be worth it if it goes better than you expect and or you grow in a meaningful way more than you expected. (17:58) And if one of those or two of those, both of those aren't true.

Alan Lazaros

(18:01) I always get at least one.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:06) We'll save that for a future episode. (18:07) How do you actually know? (18:10) Because almost everything I do is based on whether or not I think it'll be worth it.

Alan Lazaros

(18:17) And I wonder if that's common, if that's more common. (18:21) And again, mine is too, but I'm not really questioning whether or not it'll be worth it almost ever because I always learn and grow. (18:27) And that's what I'm really after.(18:29) And that never resonated with you. (18:30) So we should do that. (18:32) I think you've done a lot of dumb shit.(18:35) Me personally.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:36) You personally. (18:37) Yeah. (18:37) You as if I, as if I, but there's been things where you're like, well, still lessons to learn.(18:42) It's like, okay, that's, I think that's, that could be flawed thinking. (18:45) But like, I also respect it. (18:47) I respect that you want to see it to its end.(18:50) I want to see what I'm capable of. (18:52) That's a great idea. (18:54) I think it's the worst.(18:55) Most of the time. (18:56) Yeah. (18:57) Well, it's a bad idea for me.

Alan Lazaros

(18:59) You think so?

Kevin Palmieri

(18:59) Yeah, I think so.

Alan Lazaros

(19:00) See what you're capable of.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:01) No, no, not that. (19:02) The, just the, I don't know. (19:07) What, what am I, I had a moment, I had a moment of doubt where I was like, can I actually fucking do what I'm flying out here to do?(19:13) Like I had a moment where I was like, yeah, I think I'll figure it out. (19:17) But I had a, I had a very, like, I had a talk with myself of like, yeah, you're gonna be fine. (19:22) You're gonna be fine.(19:22) Why are you freaking out?

Alan Lazaros

(19:24) Yeah. (19:24) How was the plane?

Kevin Palmieri

(19:25) Oh, dude. (19:26) All good. (19:27) Yeah.(19:27) All great. (19:28) No big deal. (19:30) I almost fell asleep.(19:31) I like took a, I took some, some very, very short, like 15 second naps on the plane, which is that's progress for me. (19:38) Strong work. (19:38) All right, we're going to jam.(19:40) So this is dropping on Tuesday, which is the first, I believe. (19:47) One second. (19:48) Tuesday, the first, right?

Alan Lazaros

(19:50) All right.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:51) All right.

Alan Lazaros

(19:52) No, Tuesday's the 30th.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:55) Wait, what's today?

Alan Lazaros

(19:56) Today's the 29th.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:57) Today is as of recording.

Alan Lazaros

(19:59) Okay. (19:59) The 30th. (20:00) Tomorrow's the 30th.(20:00) So, so if you're listening to this, you can still get in the 10 pounds in 10 week challenge. (20:05) It starts July 1st. (20:06) It ends September 8th.(20:08) All I need is a start weigh-in and a goal weight. (20:11) That's it. (20:12) I have three columns.(20:13) Simple. (20:14) Start weight, goal weight, end weight. (20:17) And if your end weight matches your goal weight, you did it.(20:20) If not, you didn't. (20:21) It's simple. (20:21) Keep it simple.(20:22) You can gain weight. (20:23) You can lose weight. (20:24) I need a start weight and a goal weight.(20:25) That's it. (20:26) Reach out to myself or Kevin. (20:28) DM us on Instagram, unless you're in one of the WhatsApp groups.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:32) And a shout out to everybody who donated to the Next Level Hope Foundation event. (20:35) It was awesome. (20:36) Yeah, we appreciate you guys.(20:38) It's awesome. (20:38) It's the best. (20:41) Literally, it's always been one of my favorite things we do, but it's, I don't know, something has changed.(20:46) And it's like my favorite thing we do now.

Alan Lazaros

(20:47) Well, you and that young...

Kevin Palmieri

(20:50) My little bud.

Alan Lazaros

(20:51) Yeah, that was... (20:53) He looks up to you a lot, man. (20:54) Oh, he's the cutest.(20:56) He's the cutest.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:57) Yeah, he's the cutest. (20:58) All right, squad. (20:59) As always, we love you.(21:00) We appreciate you. (21:00) Grateful for each and every one of you. (21:01) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow, because we will be here every single day to help you get there.(21:07) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (21:10) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (21:14) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(21:17) We mean it when we say family. (21:19) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (21:22) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(21:26) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.