What If You’re Both The Cause And The Effect? (2481)

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What if the loop holding you back is one you keep reinforcing? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan walk through how sleep, productivity, consistency, and leadership can all break down from the same root issue. Kevin shares a real moment from a demanding travel day when exhaustion, resentment, and the need for downtime turned into self-sabotage. Alan connects it to client patterns, constraint theory, root cause analysis, and the importance of finding the real limiting factor.

This episode challenges the way you think about goals, pressure, responsibility, and progress. If you want a stronger future, stop managing the effect and start solving the cause. Stop feeding the loop. Find the constraint.

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Show notes:
(3:56) The real constraint behind every goal
(7:45) How small patterns become doom loops
(10:27) Why your future has to be built by design
(12:33) Finding the biggest limiting factor
(16:36) Goals, quality of life, and delayed gratification
(19:13) Purpose, responsibility, and fulfillment
(27:40) Growth without abandoning the goal
(29:19) Why responsibility requires a growth mindset
(32:52) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I know I'm supposed to go to bed. (0:03) I know if I want to get eight hours of sleep, I'm supposed to go to bed right now. (0:07) But I worked my face off.(0:09) I haven't had a fucking second to myself. (0:12) And the last thing I want to do is just go to bed. (0:14) I know that's what I should do.(0:17) I would rather suffer a little bit more. (0:19) And it becomes a cycle. (0:21) And that is literally what happened yesterday after my 19 hour day or whatever it was.

Alan Lazaros

(0:26) I never thought in a million years that I would quote an Austin Powers movie as a valuable success principle. (0:36) Remember in the film when Fat Bastard said, I'm unhappy because I eat and I eat because I'm unhappy. (0:44) I actually do believe everyone is in some form, we have all found ourselves in a doom loop, what I call a doom loop, where it's very similar to that.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:57) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:00) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (1:01) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros.(1:04) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(1:11) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:18) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:33) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:40) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:45) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,481, I'm changing the name on the fly. (1:51) What if you are the cause and the effect?(1:54) Not bad. (1:56) So last night, we finished recording at whatever time. (2:02) That's good stuff.(2:04) Yeah, right? (2:05) What if you're the cause and the effect? (2:06) What if you're both the cause and the effect?(2:09) You know? (2:09) Last night, we finished recording and Dairy Queen next door. (2:16) 10 pound in 10 week challenge is starting today if you're listening to this episode.(2:19) So this is my last, my second to last hoorah. (2:22) This is not tomorrow. (2:24) Oh shit.(2:24) It's already started. (2:26) This was two days prior to it starting, right? (2:30) The story I'm talking about was two days prior to it starting.(2:33) And I was like, look, when I travel, I get the feels. (2:37) There is nothing to eat. (2:39) Like the town I'm in is inhabited by like 300 people.(2:44) You keep changing the number. (2:46) Well, because I asked, I asked our client today and he said, I think it's like 400. (2:50) And I said, what I read said 140, whatever.(2:52) And he said, honestly, that might be true. (2:54) He said, my class that I graduated with was all three of the surrounding towns. (2:58) And there was 81 of us.(2:59) And I was like, oh, okay. (3:02) Yeah, no, that would probably, that might track them. (3:04) There's like nobody here.(3:05) So there's no healthy, like there's no healthy food. (3:08) The hotel doesn't have a restaurant? (3:11) Brother.(3:12) No. (3:13) Yeah. (3:13) There's a McDonald's next door and a Dairy Queen and a Chick-fil-A and a Taco Bell.(3:20) Everything with, I could, I could hit these things with rocks. (3:22) That's it. (3:23) Because it's, it's just a giant truck stop essentially.(3:26) Nice hotel though, honestly. (3:28) And so I went and got food and I was like, I know I shouldn't do this. (3:32) I should go to bed.(3:33) I am so far past go. (3:35) No, I just watched YouTube videos. (3:37) I stayed up until like 11 o'clock and I had this resentment of the day.(3:42) And I was like, I don't care. (3:43) I know this is not necessarily what's best, but I'm going to do it because I need to get some of my needs met. (3:51) And I think we're going to, that's the example we're going to use.(3:54) So I'll kick it to you because you wanted to do this episode.

Alan Lazaros

(3:56) Well, so I have a client who gave me permission to share this and we did something. (4:02) I'm doing this with all my clients. (4:04) This is, I've talked a lot about game theory, constraint theory, chaos theory.(4:10) Constraint theory is the one that I want to hone in on here. (4:15) The moment you set a goal, there's immediately a limiting constraint. (4:19) There's two types of constraints.(4:20) There's a limiting factor inside of you, internal, and there's a limiting factor outside of you, external. (4:25) Again, just an example, just an example, because we're doing the 10 pound in 10 week challenge, July 1st to September 8th, 70 days, 500 calorie deficit, 10 pounds in 10 weeks. (4:37) Let's rock and roll.(4:38) 29 people signed up as of the moment of this recording. (4:42) Okay. (4:43) You set a goal, 10 pounds in 10 weeks.(4:46) Boom. (4:46) Timeline and a target. (4:47) Good.(4:47) Now there's a constraint. (4:49) The internal constraint is maybe I'm too cowardly to tell Amelia I have to exercise even more. (4:54) It's hypothetical.(4:55) I'm not. (4:56) That's just an example. (4:57) Then the external constraint is my right knee.(5:01) What you do is you identify the problem, present the solution. (5:05) Identify the problem, present the solution. (5:07) You target the constraint, target the constraint, target the constraint.(5:10) Now the plot thickens a little bit. (5:13) You used to say the salmon of the Capistrano.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:17) I still do.

Alan Lazaros

(5:18) Okay. (5:18) Where's that from? (5:20) Dumb and dumber.(5:20) Dumb and dumber. (5:21) Okay. (5:22) If the bears are downstream and there's no salmon, it means there's something wrong upstream.(5:29) Okay. (5:30) So I want to combine constraint theory with this upstream downstream situation. (5:38) You mentioned cause and effect.(5:40) The effect is the salmon downstream. (5:44) The cause is there's actually a beaver that dammed the river and the salmon can't get through. (5:51) So you have to go upstream.(5:53) There's a book called Upstream by Dan Heath. (5:55) And you have to go upstream and figure out what the fuck is going on here. (5:58) And so that's what I do with my clients all day long, all the time, constantly.(6:05) There's internal constraints of lack of humility, lack of understanding, lack of courage, lack of vulnerability, lack of skills, lack of capabilities. (6:14) And then there's external constraints of my HVAC that went out or my right knee or the gym is closed or right. (6:22) So there's always constraints.(6:23) The moment you set a goal, there's always constraints. (6:25) This is why goal setting is so awful. (6:31) The moment you set a goal, your life starts to blow.(6:34) That seems constricting because it is. (6:36) It is. (6:37) Yeah, exactly.(6:37) Everything, like as soon as you set a 10 pound in 10 week challenge, I'm just using this as a metaphor. (6:42) Now, all of a sudden everything has to shift a little. (6:46) And if we get rid of that goal, imagine you and me just like, you know what?(6:49) Can it? (6:50) It's over. (6:51) Hypothetical.(6:52) Now we don't have to eat a certain way. (6:54) Now we don't have to work out. (6:55) Now we don't have to worry about a gym or my knee.(6:58) We don't have to worry about running or not. (7:00) Like it's just over. (7:01) All the issues are gone.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:04) Imagine how different this trip would be. (7:07) That's what I'm saying. (7:08) We, so I went out to lunch both days with our client and I got a burger both days.(7:15) That would have been a salad both days or nothing. (7:17) I would have just said like, honestly, I'm just going to eat tonight. (7:19) I would not have got breakfast at the hotel.(7:21) Like everything. (7:22) I probably would be, I would have brought my running shoes and gone running the hotel gyms fucking closed unfortunately, but it is what it is.

Alan Lazaros

(7:30) Everything, everything, everything. (7:32) The moment you set a goal, everything becomes a little more of a pain in the ass.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:38) Can you, can we go into the. (7:41) Yeah. (7:42) Yeah.(7:43) The cycle, just because I talked about it. (7:45) So I want to make sure.

Alan Lazaros

(7:45) So the three constraints for this client. (7:48) Well, the number one constraint is I'm not getting enough sleep. (7:51) And then we broke it down into three constraints.(7:54) Number one is I need to go to bed earlier. (7:57) Number two is I need to leave my phone away from the bed. (7:59) And number three is I need to shut down earlier so that R&R doesn't bleed into shut down time.(8:06) And we went through the five whys you can do five, seven, nine. (8:10) Anyone can ask themselves why five times, not everyone can come up with the answer. (8:16) And it's, it's very difficult.(8:18) This is called a root cause analysis. (8:19) It's actually really difficult to do this. (8:23) Like if your car breaks down and you say, why?(8:26) Uh, cause it broke down. (8:29) If you don't have any knowledge of cars, you can't go deeper. (8:32) And I think that that's one of the biggest constraints of most people is you don't know enough to answer the question.(8:39) Or maybe you're not asking the question and you're just arrogant and entitled. (8:42) That's a different constraint. (8:44) Okay.(8:44) Go to bed earlier. (8:44) Number one, why I call it why one, uh, because I'm staying up too late. (8:49) Okay.(8:49) Why? (8:50) Because I want R&R. (8:51) Okay.(8:51) Why? (8:51) Because I work too late. (8:52) Okay.(8:53) Why? (8:53) Because I'm not productive enough during the day. (8:55) Okay.(8:55) Why? (8:55) Because I'm not getting enough sleep. (8:58) So they, they, the cause and the effect.(9:00) So you're staying up too late because you're not getting enough sleep, but staying up too late. (9:06) See how this is a doom loop. (9:07) This is in computer engineering, computer programming, there's something called an infinite loop.(9:12) Anyone can look this up when you program there's if then statements. (9:16) So if Kevin is here, then say, Hey Kev, like it's all just programming. (9:22) We all are programmed as well.(9:24) Biologically. (9:25) So, so when you, when people talk about mindset, if, if, uh, I'm at an event, then I am warm and loving and I meet everybody before I speak. (9:35) Okay.(9:35) That's just a, it's just programming. (9:37) So all we're doing is trying to reprogram people, uh, to be successful on this podcast. (9:42) So this doom loop needs to shift.(9:47) This is the second one. (9:48) Leave phone away from bed. (9:49) Why?(9:50) When I get in bed, I can't sleep. (9:52) Why? (9:53) Because you have so many, because I have so many things going through my mind.(9:57) Why? (9:58) Because I'm falling behind on stuff I need to do. (10:00) Why?(10:01) Because I'm not as productive as I can be during the day. (10:03) Why? (10:03) Because I'm not getting enough sleep.(10:05) You see how these leak into each other. (10:07) All right. (10:08) Number three, shut down earlier.(10:10) So R&R doesn't bleed. (10:12) Why? (10:12) I'm not being as productive during the day as I can be.(10:14) Why? (10:15) Because I'm not getting enough sleep. (10:16) Why?(10:16) Because I'm staying up too late. (10:18) Why? (10:18) Because I'm resenting not getting more R&R, which is what you opened with.(10:23) Why? (10:23) Because I'm not shutting down early enough. (10:27) So whether you know it or not, your next level is on the other side of identifying and rectifying constraints.(10:41) And people say things like, oh, it'll all work out. (10:43) No, it won't. (10:44) No, it absolutely won't.(10:46) Like your future is not going to get brighter by default. (10:50) It's going to get brighter by design. (10:51) And it's, it's, you have to constantly do this identify, rectify process.(10:56) You can call it targeting the constraint. (10:58) You can call it going upstream. (11:00) You can call it, you know, game theory.(11:03) You can call it constraint theory.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:05) It's problem solving. (11:06) Yeah. (11:08) I know it's more complicated than that because the problem isn't the problem always.(11:11) Exactly.

Alan Lazaros

(11:12) It's root cause analysis. (11:14) And I think that it's very hard to identify the root when you don't have the knowledge and awareness. (11:21) And then when you do identify the problem, you actually have to present a solution that can actually work.(11:26) And then here's the part that really blows. (11:28) This is a really depressing episode. (11:30) The moment that you solve it, it creates another problem.(11:37) A metaphor for this would be, okay, well, I went upstream and I fixed the dam and now there's tons of salmon. (11:41) Well, now there's too many bears, right? (11:44) And the bears are eating all the salmon.(11:46) So now the hunters are whatever. (11:48) I don't like that metaphor, but now there's too many bears and the campers are getting eaten, right? (11:54) It's like, okay, well, how do you solve that bear spray?(11:57) Well, now, you know, there's not enough, there's too much demand for bear spray and the bear spray company, LLC doesn't make enough. (12:03) Okay. (12:03) Well, why not?(12:04) Because the ingredient needs to be, there's always... (12:08) Or they jack their prices up because everybody needs it. (12:09) Exactly.(12:10) Yeah. (12:10) So all of a sudden bear spray is $500 a pop, right? (12:13) But this is how everything works.(12:16) This is how micro and macroeconomics works. (12:18) This is how your life works. (12:19) And it's super depressing, but the truth is life is nothing more or less than constantly setting goals, identifying constraints, and then solving those constraints.(12:33) Every company, every person on this planet, if they have a clear, specific, measurable goal has a biggest limiting factor. (12:42) And the best business people on earth that I've studied are the best in the world at identifying and rectifying the largest limiting factor. (12:49) Like right now, if I was coaching you, I would do everything I can to figure out the biggest limiting factor and then what we would do about it.(12:56) And we just recently identified that you and I are basically cowards because we have abandonment issues from our childhood. (13:04) And now that we've identified that, we're actually going to work on it. (13:06) And then that will create a new constraint.(13:09) So that's no longer the constraint. (13:10) Now the constraint is we shouldn't be podcasting while you travel. (13:13) Okay.(13:13) Well, why did we do that? (13:14) Because we weren't proactive enough. (13:15) Okay.(13:15) Well, why weren't we proactive enough? (13:17) Because we were busy with other things. (13:18) Okay.(13:18) Well, obviously we were majoring in minor things. (13:20) You have to give up good to go for great. (13:22) So, and here's the problem with this whole thing as if there isn't already a thousand problems.(13:28) Yeah. (13:28) This changes as you get more successful. (13:32) It doesn't get, it doesn't get easier.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:34) No, it's harder upstream. (13:36) Also upstream is one of the better, like better books I've ever read. (13:39) Thank you for that.(13:40) Thank you for that recommendation. (13:41) It helps me understand like the, the system thinking better. (13:47) Dan Heath is the man.(13:48) Yeah. (13:49) That's a really good book. (13:50) If you haven't read that, if you're, if you're out there and like, if you're out there and this concept is right there and you're like, okay, it makes sense, but I want to learn more.(13:57) That's a great, great, great book for that.

Alan Lazaros

(14:00) Dan Heath wrote Switch with his brother Chip. (14:05) He wrote Upstream and he has several others. (14:08) I have them all.(14:10) I like Dan Heath's work a lot. (14:15) Yeah. (14:15) He's not full of shit at all.(14:17) That's like my new, my new gauge on an author and how good they are is how not full of shit they are. (14:25) What, okay.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:25) So what happens now in this case, this, this person, it doesn't, it seems extremely counterintuitive to shut down earlier if you're already overwhelmed because you're not getting enough done.

Alan Lazaros

(14:42) I know.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:43) Is how do you get through the emotional response of like, well, that doesn't make any sense. (14:49) Logically, it doesn't really make any sense either, but like, cause I understand in my mind, it's like, that makes total sense. (14:53) Of course.(14:54) Yeah. (14:54) It makes total sense. (14:56) I, that of course, of course it makes total sense because I think most people like they get to a place where they're in the last like 20% of their day, they get almost nothing done because they're outside of the window of productivity.

Alan Lazaros

(15:13) And then it just this fucking, it's, let's ask why that is. (15:20) That is true. (15:21) I would say 80% of what you get done is in the first 20% of your day.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:27) Well, yeah, because your willpower is drained because nice. (15:32) Okay. (15:32) Why is the willpower drained?(15:34) Because you most likely you're doing the hardest thing first when your willpower is the highest. (15:42) It depends on the person, right? (15:44) That the other thing is like the longer your day goes, the more reactive you get because your day starts to pile up.(15:50) I'm what's fucking with me a little bit. (15:53) I was literally thinking to myself, I could never live on the west coast. (15:56) I'm an hour behind where I normally am.(15:58) And my fucking, my timings all now, of course I would adjust, but my timings all Jeffed my rhythm. (16:05) Travel makes it very hard. (16:06) Yeah.(16:07) And it's only an hour. (16:08) Like my time difference is only an hour.

Alan Lazaros

(16:11) Uh, how do we make this part land? (16:15) And I know we got to go. (16:20) People are asking themselves, maybe they're not.(16:23) Uh, I said something yesterday that one of my clients commented on, I had a client who was like, well, what about like my quality of life? (16:33) And I was like, ah, you know, forget about that.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:35) I've heard you say that many times.

Alan Lazaros

(16:36) Yeah, no, that's a playful thing, but I want everyone to really contemplate how much easier would it be to achieve your goals? (16:47) If you actually just for a little while, didn't care about your quality of life at all.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:51) Well, you mentioned that yesterday.

Alan Lazaros

(16:53) That is constraint theory that you wanting to be successful and have a good quality of life along the way might be a constraint. (17:05) That's a constraint that I've found most people have. (17:08) And it's, it's a limiting belief.(17:09) This is a question that is a good one for identifying constraints. (17:13) What is the limiting belief that has disguised itself as empowering? (17:16) You had this fucking belief.(17:18) Sorry. (17:19) Uh, you had this belief that it, well, it's not worth it. (17:22) It's not worth it to tell them.(17:23) It's not my responsibility. (17:24) It's not worth it. (17:24) It's like, dude, no, I still have that belief.(17:27) It depends on the person.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:29) Yeah, it depends on the person.

Alan Lazaros

(17:30) Yeah. (17:31) But what's the goal? (17:35) Because you're right.(17:36) If the goal changes, if the goal is to maximize your leadership and effectiveness to, to help everyone in your life, reach their full potential and be successful, you're off. (17:48) If you're not the goal. (17:49) Okay.(17:50) That's my point. (17:50) So that's not the goal, but you have a, if your goal is to grow this company with me, which it is, we've talked about it. (18:00) You have to over, you have to overcome that and override that with certain people.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:06) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(18:06) Yes, exactly. (18:07) Yeah. (18:07) Yeah.(18:07) Yeah. (18:08) Yeah. (18:08) But I think that that's what I hope we can land on is like, all of your constraints are entirely predicated on your goals, your circumstances.(18:19) Like, I have a client right now. (18:22) I was on with her earlier. (18:23) And I said, if I put a hundred grand in your bank account tomorrow, everything you're doing right now would make no sense because you're basically neglecting sleep.(18:33) You're neglecting your self-care. (18:35) You're like, you're temporarily grinding extra hard to get out of debt. (18:39) Like that would make no sense.(18:42) If you were already out of debt, dude, the moment you and I were debt-free, everything shifted. (18:49) I mean, a lot of things did though.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:54) Yeah, but not that part.

Alan Lazaros

(18:57) What do you mean?

Kevin Palmieri

(18:58) It's not like we slowed down. (19:00) If anything, we got, it went faster. (19:03) If anything, it went way faster.

Alan Lazaros

(19:05) So for someone out there who's wondering, like, why do this? (19:11) I think I want you to go there.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:13) Like, why do this? (19:14) You know what I was thinking of? (19:19) I was like, I wonder if these dogs that are workers, and if they aren't, if they're not doing what their purpose is, they're miserable.(19:28) They're miserable. (19:30) They are bred to do a certain activity and that activity makes them fulfilled, makes them happy. (19:38) It makes them joyful.(19:39) It makes them feel like they're contributing purpose. (19:42) What made that come up? (19:44) Our client has many hunting dogs.

Alan Lazaros

(19:47) Oh, that's right. (19:47) Got it. (19:48) And I was like, a lot of dogs want a purpose.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:51) Are they happy? (19:52) Are they happy? (19:52) I wonder.(19:54) And I was like, well, they get to do their thing, right? (19:57) They get to do their thing.

Alan Lazaros

(19:58) I use fulfillment, but yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:00) Well, it started with happiness first of like, yeah, it started with happiness and then it went to fulfillment. (20:07) Why do it?

Alan Lazaros

(20:09) I think that's a really good metaphor though.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:12) I'm reading a book called, so good you forgot the name, Navy Seal Dogs. (20:26) Navy Seal, you forgot the name of that book? (20:28) That might be the most unique book name I've heard in my entire life.(20:32) A rock band.

Alan Lazaros

(20:34) Mike Ritland is the author and he's a dog trainer for Seal Team Six dogs. (20:43) And Emilia and I's favorite show of all time is called Seal Team. (20:50) And the seventh team member is a dog.(20:53) And it's unbelievable. (20:55) It's unbelievable. (20:56) But some people are like, well, that's not good, blah, blah, blah.(21:07) I think purposeless persons, places, things, and ideas is bad. (21:14) When I grew up, I saw purposelessness, nihilism. (21:20) And you have a purpose.(21:21) You're traveling in Missouri and yeah, it sucks, but you have a purpose.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:24) You matter. (21:25) There's so many layers to it, right? (21:29) There was a purpose for yesterday and there was a purpose for today.(21:32) And then there's like a purpose for this week. (21:33) And then that rolls up to the purpose of this month, which to the quarter. (21:37) To the purpose of your life.(21:39) Well, I think that's it. (21:42) I told Taryn and I had a really good conversation this weekend. (21:44) And we were, we were essentially talking about how, how different I am in like just my day-to-day life.(21:55) Compared to old you or like different? (21:57) Compared to most people. (21:59) Like I don't really care about seeing people.(22:01) Like I'm, I don't really, I said, I don't need anything else. (22:06) Like I don't need anything else. (22:07) I don't, I don't want 500 friends.(22:10) I said, I have you, babe. (22:11) I love you. (22:12) You're my person.(22:12) I found my person. (22:13) Awesome. (22:13) Go me.(22:14) Amazing. (22:15) The business, everything's rolling. (22:18) I got a couple of really close friends.(22:19) Awesome. (22:19) I said, I don't need anything else. (22:21) And I said, I, I think at times it's really easy for us to forget.(22:24) Like, and I started crying when I said this, I said, this is my fucking dream. (22:27) Like I get to, I get to do what I love every day. (22:31) Now some days it's horrid.(22:34) It's terrible. (22:35) Like yesterday, honestly, I had so many moments of like, this is terrible, but it's, it's never, ever. (22:42) It's never fuck this.(22:43) I'm going to do something else ever. (22:44) It's never that. (22:45) Yeah.(22:46) It's never this. (22:48) I don't know if you got to this part in the book yet. (22:50) And I, I guess I can't say that you forget the name of books.(22:53) Cause I still don't know what the Jim Collins book name is about to make a life or whatever it is. (22:58) I think that's the name of it. (22:59) Yeah.(23:00) What to make of a life. (23:01) What to make of life. (23:02) The goal is not to live a life that lacks responsibility.(23:07) The goal is to live a life where you get to choose what responsibilities you want to have. (23:11) A hundred percent that, that we have, we have a lot of responsibility.

Alan Lazaros

(23:15) Let's do an episode on that at some point, because I'm trying to think of where to go with this. (23:27) Responsibility only sucks if it's someone who's imposing it on you. (23:34) I think it sucks more.(23:35) I think it can still, it's still hard. (23:36) Yeah. (23:37) Yeah.(23:37) Yeah. (23:38) Yeah. (23:38) But, but it's better than the alternative.(23:39) Cause one of the things that I've been thinking a lot about when I, when I said that funny thing of like, yeah, just forget about that. (23:44) Don't worry about that. (23:45) It's like, if, if in a way you do, you're either goals first quality of life, second, or your quality of life, first goal, second period that I don't think there's any exception to that.(23:57) And by the way, if your quality of life first goal, second, I will beat you at achieving goals. (24:02) And that's okay. (24:04) You just need to know that the alternative brother, if someone is quality of life, first goals, second, you are by definition, prioritizing the now over they have done research on this deeply delayed gratification is one of the number one factors to your future success.(24:27) That's what an investor does. (24:28) They pay money now to play later, to make more later it's pay now, play later, play now, pay later. (24:35) If you're playing out pay later, you shouldn't be shocked when you don't achieve your goals.(24:39) At least from my perspective, like responsibility is such an important thing. (24:49) The goal of life should not be to do less, be less, have less, get less, achieve less. (24:54) Like it makes no sense to me.(24:56) It makes no sense to me. (24:57) I could never imagine my life where it's like, the goal is to just enjoy myself. (25:05) Fulfillment comes as a by-product of growth and contribution in alignment with your core values.(25:11) It just does. (25:12) There are no like F-offs who are happy. (25:15) There aren't any now.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:17) They look happy. (25:18) They might be happy.

Alan Lazaros

(25:20) Yeah. (25:20) But they're not fulfilled. (25:21) They're not fulfilled.(25:22) And try it. (25:23) Everyone should give this a shot. (25:25) Like I spent one time a week in LA where I did not do goals and it was awful.(25:32) Like I absolutely hated it. (25:34) And it looked like a blasty blast. (25:36) I mean, don't get me wrong.(25:37) Some of it was awesome, but I hated myself. (25:41) It was not good, man. (25:43) And I think that you need to give that a shot.(25:45) Like go do nothing responsible for a week and then tell me you don't lose self-respect. (25:54) And if you don't, maybe I'm off and maybe you should live your life like that. (25:58) But like if your goal is to like just enjoy life, you most likely are not going to have as meaningful of a life.(26:09) I miss in the past, we'd talk about service and community service and volunteering. (26:15) And I remember when I was a kid, I would try to, you know, I was going to consider Ivy league schools and you had to do community service and you had to do student council and you had to like be good at sports and you had to get straight A's and, and, and, and, and like, I used to look at what do you need to get into like Harvard and Yale? (26:29) And I got into Tufts.(26:32) These Ivy league schools, you have to be like the best at everything basically. (26:36) And then you still might not get in. (26:37) And I remember thinking like, I like that.(26:41) I like aspiration. (26:44) Can you imagine? (26:45) I mean, you, you were like, I'm going to be good at baseball.(26:48) And that, that's my focus.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:50) I didn't even decide on that honestly, but fair.

Alan Lazaros

(26:53) But if you had, if you had that mentality of like, I'm going to, I'm going to take on as much responsibility as I possibly can. (26:59) And I'm going to aim high. (27:02) You would just grow a lot more.(27:04) I mean, you started aiming high with me and you've grown so much and it's, it's really special, dude. (27:08) And we did Next Level Hope Foundation on Sunday and you know, I see these kids and I just see potential. (27:14) I see so much potential, but the potential might not manifest.(27:17) And that makes me really sad. (27:19) The only way potential manifests is if you take on a load of burden of challenge of responsibility and you, you work toward goals that are meaningful. (27:28) And some of them are going to be off and some of them are going to be great.(27:31) And some of them you're going to be fulfilled. (27:32) And some of them you're going to be like, I don't, I don't know why I shot for that. (27:35) Like, but overall the only wrong answer is to not aim up.(27:38) You've got to aim up. (27:40) You've got it.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:40) Well, that's how I would wrap this. (27:43) So I have another client I'm doing this with next week. (27:47) Now, luckily they're local-ish.(27:48) I'm driving three hours. (27:49) So to me, that's local that I don't have to hop on a plane. (27:51) It's not the end of the world.(27:52) It's not that bad. (27:54) And I also have a potential, well, this person is a client, but a potential person who wants me to fly out to Austin, Texas. (28:02) Yes, this is really hard.(28:04) Yes, this part of the journey is really challenging. (28:06) I'm not, what did I say to you today? (28:08) I didn't say, I don't want to do this.(28:09) I said, we have to find a way to like make everything better. (28:12) To your point. (28:14) It's not about abandoning the growth.(28:16) It's about figuring out how to get to that next level and then stay there and then move the chess pieces around. (28:21) In the beginning, you don't really have that many chess pieces. (28:24) You have a couple and you have to like do what you can with them.(28:27) And sometimes you have to use the King as a pawn and a pawn. (28:30) Like I won't go into chess references because I don't know enough about it. (28:34) But then eventually you get to the place where you have grown enough and you have enough responsibility and you have enough awareness where you can move those things around.(28:43) But that was it today. (28:44) I told Taryn, she said, when are you going to like get a client that wants you to go to like a cool place? (28:50) And I said, I don't know.(28:51) I, for some reason I haven't gone any cool place. (28:53) I said, Austin, Texas is pretty cool. (28:55) I've heard good things about it.(28:56) And she said, I would go with you. (28:57) And I said, all right, let me see what I can do. (28:58) Let me try to lock this down.(29:01) But it's not, it's not, Hey, we shouldn't do this. (29:04) It's Hey, how do we do this smarter? (29:05) And I think that's a really good.(29:07) And if you get to a place where you're like, honestly, I don't want to do this. (29:11) That's a different conversation. (29:12) It's really hard to do something you don't want to do smart, especially if you have the privilege of not doing it.(29:17) Like that's another conversation.

Alan Lazaros

(29:19) Last piece as someone who, I don't want to say you avoided responsibility because you definitely didn't, but you, you weren't like pumped about responsibility. (29:25) What would you say to someone now?

Kevin Palmieri

(29:29) Honestly, brother, I think I got responsibility before I was, it felt like it was before I was capable. (29:37) And it put me in my own little doom loop of thinking like, I'm not capable of leading a crew of seven people. (29:42) I'll just do the best I can not.(29:44) Let me go find a book on how to lead. (29:47) I had, I still had a fixed mindset. (29:48) So if you have a fixed mindset, you're going to run from leadership.(29:52) You're going to run from responsibility. (29:54) Like it's you're allergic to it.

Alan Lazaros

(29:57) That's the first step is understand the leader that you are, the risk. (30:01) You don't think you're going to grow from it. (30:03) There is, I mean, why would you do it?(30:05) Yeah. (30:05) It would, it would be mostly downside. (30:07) Yeah.(30:07) That's a great point. (30:08) Sorry to interrupt you.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:09) You're good.

Alan Lazaros

(30:11) If you do have a fixed mindset and you really don't believe that it's going to make you better, like, why do you work out? (30:19) It's going to make you better. (30:21) It's going to make you stronger.(30:22) The same is true for leadership. (30:24) The same is true for starting a company. (30:25) The same is true for 10 pounds in 10 week channel.(30:28) Like why do people do that? (30:29) We have 29 people doing a challenge. (30:30) It's called a challenge.(30:32) Why are, why is everyone so pumped? (30:34) I think one of it is because they all want to look better this summer. (30:37) Okay.(30:38) I think that's the main reason. (30:39) But another reason is they want to fucking step up. (30:42) I love it, dude.(30:43) That word challenge is like one of my favorite words of all time. (30:47) I want to, I want to look good this summer. (30:51) I'm ready for me.(30:52) It's the challenge first looking good as second, but I like both.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:56) See, if I was, if I was doing it just for the challenge, I would set a bigger goal for this.

Alan Lazaros

(31:04) That's why you make the shooting in the foot myself in the foot thing. (31:08) Yes. (31:08) That's that.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:09) Yeah. (31:09) Yeah. (31:09) Yeah.(31:10) I would set a bigger goal. (31:11) Yeah. (31:11) And we're going to talk about that.(31:12) We're going to talk about goals in public versus goals in private. (31:16) Let's do it man. (31:17) On tomorrow's episode.(31:18) All right, cool. (31:19) I have no idea what to, what to tell you to hang out with us on anymore because of the 10 pound and 10 week challenge has already started. (31:26) You can still come hang out in the next level of fitness accountability group.(31:29) And I would advise you suggest you invite you to do so. (31:32) You can do your own version of it. (31:34) We just won't be tracking it with you, but I'm telling you the group is on fire.(31:38) The new people that have joined are already throwing pictures up. (31:42) They're already being more consistent. (31:44) There's something about being around people who are doing what you value.(31:47) And some people might have more of the goals that you value. (31:50) And yeah, there's just something about that, that community aspect. (31:53) So reach out to Alan or myself, we will let you in again.(31:55) It's free. (31:56) There's no strings attached. (31:57) You don't have to sign up for anything.

Alan Lazaros

(31:58) It's a free WhatsApp group, get around people who have goals and dreams, get around people who have higher standards than you. (32:04) And I made this promise. (32:06) We did group coaching earlier.(32:09) Kev was traveling. (32:09) So, so I did it, Amy and I, and there was, I think seven people there or so. (32:14) And I said, what's your promise.(32:16) You need the right person for the right product in the right amount of pain for the right price. (32:21) And what's your promise. (32:22) What's, what's the promise of your show, your podcast.(32:24) It's Next Level Podcast Accelerator. (32:26) And I said, my peak performance coaching, my promise to you, if you do it, and if you actually follow through, you will be more dialed in towards your goals than you have ever been before. (32:37) That is my promise.(32:39) That is my promise. (32:40) That is my promise. (32:41) If, if you want to try coaching, it's pay as you play.(32:48) The price is super affordable. (32:49) Just DM me.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:51) As always, we love you. (32:52) We appreciate you. (32:53) Grateful for each and every one of you.(32:55) And if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we'll be here every single day to help you get there. (33:01) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (33:04) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(33:08) We love connecting with next level family.

Alan Lazaros

(33:11) We mean it when we say family. (33:13) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (33:16) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:20) Thank you again. (33:21) And we will talk to you tomorrow.