Our Advice On The 5 S’s Of Success (2491)

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In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros break down the first three stages of their Five S’s of Success: sacrifice, struggle, and suffering. Drawing from their own early mistakes, years of coaching, and the lessons behind more than two thousand episodes, they explain why real growth requires more than motivation.

Kevin and Alan discuss how to make sustainable sacrifices, why struggle does not mean your efforts are failing, and how to keep going when the path gets more demanding than expected. This is a grounded conversation about building the discipline, self-awareness, and resilience required for long-term success.

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Email:
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
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Show notes:
(2:11) Sacrifice without extreme, unsustainable change
(5:19) Growth advice must fit your current stage of life
(9:42) Why external success can still leave you feeling lost
(11:19) Struggle is a required stage of real growth
(13:50) Suffering by choice and staying in the journey
(17:06) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) One of the things I like to do that I don't probably do often enough, or maybe get the (0:05) chance to do often enough, is to say, hey, if I was able to give Kevin advice when Kevin started (0:12) this journey, and I could walk him through, like, these are probably the five different levels (0:17) you're going to go through before you achieve any level of success, and then you're gonna have to (0:21) run that cycle forever, this is the advice I would give you with the experience of somebody who has (0:26) already gone through it, today, I want to do that.

Alan Lazaros

(0:29) Yeah, nothing compounds or snowballs unless you run it long-term, and if your goal to getting better is to hit a goal and then stop getting better, you're in some serious trouble.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:39) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:42) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:44) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros.(0:47) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:53) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:00) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:16) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:22) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:28) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2491, our advice on the five S's of success. (1:38) So there was a UFC fighter, name is Henry Cejudo, Olympic gold medalist in wrestling, and he had the four S's of success.(1:47) He had sacrifice, struggle, suffer, success. (1:52) And then I was like, you got to add sustain to that. (1:54) He forgot.(1:56) Is he sustaining his success? (1:58) Yeah, but I think he's just wired. (2:00) He's wired that way, so that's just like the way he is.

Alan Lazaros

(2:03) But you gotta sustain.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:04) He forgot an S. (2:04) He forgot an S. (2:05) Now, I really enjoyed that framework.(2:07) I remember we did that. (2:08) We did that like way back in the day. (2:11) But it's easy to say now, in retrospect, and look back and say, okay, these are the five S's.(2:16) This is what each level is. (2:19) This is kind of what to expect. (2:20) This is what it felt like.(2:22) But if I could go back and give Kevin advice in the beginning, I'm trying to think of how I would advise him.

Alan Lazaros

(2:29) All right, so let's go through each one, and I want you to out loud talk about what Kevin's objection in his head would be.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:37) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(2:39) All right. (2:40) Sacrifice.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:43) I mean, it doesn't really matter that much, right? (2:46) Like, I have to stop all these things. (2:48) Like, it doesn't matter enough right now.(2:50) What's the point? (2:51) I'm not... (2:52) Yeah, it's like, what I'm doing is not that detrimental.(2:56) It couldn't possibly be that detrimental. (2:57) That would be my... (2:58) I don't know if I can do this.(3:00) I'm gonna be so mean to younger Kev. (3:02) I don't know if I can do this. (3:04) Okay.(3:05) And it would be like, why? (3:07) Yeah, go ahead. (3:08) Yeah, why?(3:08) Why do I have to... (3:09) No, no, that would be the question. (3:10) It's like, why do I have to...(3:11) Why do I have to sacrifice it? (3:13) So let me get this straight, younger Kev. (3:15) You believe you can achieve your goals without giving anything up?(3:19) I'm willing to give up, like, some of the stuff, but like... (3:22) What percentage? (3:23) Oh, small.(3:25) I'm willing to give up a very high percentage of stuff I don't care about, but a very small percentage of things that are meaningful. (3:29) At this... (3:30) At this stage, I don't know.(3:32) I have no fucking clue what it's gonna take, so of course. (3:34) I'll give up, like, you know, you gotta give up staying up all night. (3:39) Like, I'm okay with that.(3:39) I'll give that up. (3:41) You're gonna give up... (3:42) I don't want to give up Netflix at this stage.(3:45) You don't want to give up Netflix. (3:46) Not at that stage, no. (3:48) Yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(3:49) So... (3:50) This is weird. (3:51) Role-playing is weird.(3:53) You want to only give up 5% and you want to get 100%?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:00) Yes, but what I would say... (4:01) What I would say to Kev back in the day is, you have to figure out how much you can actually sacrifice and continue the journey.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:11) Mm-hmm.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:11) I think that's why, again...

Kevin Palmieri

(4:13) Yeah. (4:13) You know what?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:13) It's almost... (4:14) It is the overswing. (4:15) It's almost like sustain is the first thing and the last thing.(4:19) It doesn't matter in the beginning. (4:20) You want to... (4:21) Okay, stop talking to your family.(4:23) I want you to fucking cut off all your friends. (4:25) Get rid of all your social media. (4:27) Get rid of all your streaming platforms.(4:28) All you get to do is wake up in the morning, go to the gym, and then fucking work. (4:34) Nothing else. (4:35) That's it.(4:36) That's all you get. (4:38) Yeah. (4:38) Well, you can't start there.(4:40) But I think some people are convinced they should. (4:44) Some people are convinced they should. (4:46) Like, I'm not going to get...(4:47) Yeah, the all or nothing thinking. (4:48) Yeah, it's like... (4:50) If you're...(4:50) Yeah, no. (4:51) Get rid of everything. (4:52) The thing is, like, disappear for...(4:55) Disappear and come back a different person. (4:57) It's like, that's not fucking real. (4:59) That makes for a really good YouTube video.

Alan Lazaros

(5:02) It's not real for most people. (5:06) I always resonate. (5:10) Well, if I went away for a year...

Kevin Palmieri

(5:11) But this is me giving Kevin advice, not Alan advice.

Alan Lazaros

(5:15) Yeah, I know. (5:15) I know. (5:16) But that's...

Kevin Palmieri

(5:18) Yeah, I know. (5:19) I know. (5:19) I understand.

Alan Lazaros

(5:19) And again, I wouldn't fully disappear. (5:21) But like, I mean, back in the day, I would do that. (5:26) I would like...(5:27) All my friends would be like, where's Alan? (5:29) I just spent months... (5:30) I used to call it a self-improvement spree.(5:32) I was into self-improvement without knowing I was into self-improvement. (5:35) It's interesting. (5:36) I told you this story about one of my friends.(5:38) He's like, I got to go on a self-improvement spree. (5:39) And my goodness, did he have to? (5:41) I mean, this dude was a fucking mess, right?(5:43) Failing out of college, broke as a joke, like drinking every day, the whole thing. (5:50) And I was like, fuck yeah, I'm going to do that with you. (5:53) And he was like, Alan, you already do everything that I...(5:56) Like, you already dress nice. (5:58) You already do your hair. (5:59) You already work out.(6:00) You already do your classes and coursework. (6:04) You already do everything that I want to do. (6:06) And I was like, yeah, but I want to do it with you.(6:08) Better though. (6:09) And by the way, I was a fucking mess back then, but it's all relative, right? (6:13) Me being a mess, it's so interesting.(6:16) It's a whole thing. (6:17) It's a whole thing. (6:19) I didn't realize how there's levels to mess, dude.(6:23) There's such levels.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:23) That's why it's like every bit of advice is different.

Alan Lazaros

(6:26) I know. (6:27) It's so brutal. (6:28) Every bit of advice is different.(6:30) We don't have time, but that has got to be the biggest fucking problem with podcasts. (6:36) It's relative. (6:37) Like I was still graduating with high distinction from one of the top engineering schools on planet earth.(6:41) Like I wasn't that much of a mess, but I was a fucking nightmare compared to now.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:46) You know what I mean? (6:47) But also nobody else was telling you you were a mess. (6:49) That's you saying you were a mess.(6:51) I wouldn't say nobody.

Alan Lazaros

(6:53) Yeah, no, no. (6:55) No, you're right. (6:55) They weren't.(6:56) They weren't because they were a mess too, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(6:57) You're in college.

Alan Lazaros

(6:58) It is. (6:59) It's all relative. (6:59) There was a couple of people who tried to say, Hey, you know, you probably could like spread yourself less than, you know, you try too hard.(7:06) Like people would say things like that, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(7:08) This would be my advice for Kev. (7:11) I think people are usually really good at sacrificing one or the other. (7:14) They're good at sacrificing people or they're good at sacrificing quality of life.(7:18) Figure out which one you're bad at. (7:19) I'm good at sacrificing people. (7:21) Some people are bad at both brother.(7:23) Well, yeah, but some, but everybody's bad at both, but some are just better at, I would say that's fair, but, but there's more than those two categories.

Alan Lazaros

(7:31) So like people, my advice, motherfucker. (7:34) No, no, but we, we set the stage wrong. (7:36) Cause we got to get out of that now.(7:37) Okay. (7:37) Let's get out of that now.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:39) That's the whole day of the episode is our advice on the five S's of success. (7:44) Yeah. (7:45) Our advice, our, not just Kevin.

Alan Lazaros

(7:49) Well, whenever you set the stage a certain way, Kev has to stay on that train. (7:52) I have to stay on the through line. (7:53) Yeah.(7:53) You have to stay on it. (7:55) So, uh, sacrifice, struggle, suffer, success, and sustain. (8:02) I want to do this because this is our show.(8:05) We get to do what we want. (8:06) You said you can give up. (8:08) You could sacrifice people.(8:09) You sacrifice quality of life. (8:10) What are the other things you have to sacrifice? (8:11) There's a bunch more categories.(8:13) I want to create a digital asset that shows all the things you have to give up to grow up. (8:17) You have to give up drugs and alcohol. (8:19) You don't have to fully it's not all or nothing.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:22) Well, that's what I'm saying is it's so fucking contextual. (8:25) Cause it's like, okay, you have one drink a month. (8:28) You're going to be okay.(8:29) Yeah. (8:30) You're fine. (8:30) That's not this.(8:31) That's not the constraint.

Alan Lazaros

(8:32) That's not the constraint. (8:33) That's not the constraint, but you can't like drink regularly and be successful. (8:38) I just, I mean, but the problem is you can, if that's your only constraint, right?(8:43) So there's no blanket statements, but yet on a podcast, you kind of have to, it's like you're, you are limiting your chances of success drastically with every drink. (8:51) You, you take, you're limiting your chances of success drastically with every, every night you stay up too late, everything that you fuck off. (8:59) Like everyone knows, like we know, don't we know brother, did you really not know that you were an F off?(9:05) Like, come on. (9:07) No, because compared to everybody else, I wasn't that's the problem. (9:11) This is why you got to get around a peer group that makes you feel uncomfortable.(9:15) Not because they're disrespectful, but because they're dying.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:18) I know. (9:19) I want, that's the thing. (9:20) Like we always joke about it.(9:21) We always joke about how much of a fuck up I was. (9:23) I made six figures. (9:24) I was jacked.(9:27) Went to the gym regularly. (9:28) Went to the gym regularly. (9:29) I actually was like a productive member of society compared to many.(9:35) Right. (9:36) So it's not like I was destitute, but, but it felt like I was lost. (9:42) I felt extremely lost.(9:44) So that stuff is all external. (9:47) That's all external. (9:48) Like, yeah, I, I looked good on paper, quote unquote.(9:50) And then you didn't necessarily do like the inner work. (9:53) No. (9:54) And so I didn't do inner work or outer work.(9:56) Really. (9:57) I just, the way life moved forward, I got lucky. (10:02) I got lucky in a lot of ways.(10:03) Like I always say that people are like, well, no, you didn't. (10:05) I'm telling you, I didn't like you.

Alan Lazaros

(10:07) People wanted to see you win and you work hard and you are pretty humble, you know, but I got lucky.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:13) The people always say it's like, well, no, you look, I know my life better than they do. (10:17) Don't tell me I didn't get lucky. (10:18) I'm telling you.(10:18) I got lucky. (10:19) Like, just let me have this. (10:20) I'm not.(10:20) I did. (10:21) I got lucky. (10:21) I got, I get around the right people.(10:23) I got opportunities and I showed up like, not saying I didn't do the work, but I did get lucky. (10:28) Yeah. (10:28) Yeah.(10:29) True. (10:29) Well, I know we got to jump, but it's, we're gonna have to do a part two of this. (10:32) We're gonna have to do part one, part two on this.(10:34) Let's do it. (10:35) So let's, let's go. (10:36) We have five minutes left.(10:37) So we're going to do two 15s. (10:38) This is going to be a 15 minute episode. (10:39) Tomorrow's going to be 15 minutes.(10:40) What's the point of the part two? (10:41) Let's get that clear. (10:42) I want to make sure we did the first five of the number one of the five.(10:47) That's a success. (10:48) You're so big on delivering.

Alan Lazaros

(10:49) It's so interesting.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:49) I gotta be. (10:50) You gotta, you gotta deliver. (10:51) You gotta be.(10:52) I don't care about that. (10:53) If the movie's called Batman and Batman doesn't show up, I'm out. (10:57) I know.

Alan Lazaros

(10:57) I know. (10:58) But our listeners know that this is more important. (11:02) This is more valuable.(11:03) We'll still give the five. (11:03) We gave the five S's right there.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:05) I want to, I want to do each one.

Alan Lazaros

(11:08) Okay. (11:08) Okay. (11:13) Well, we, we got one of the five.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:15) Yeah. (11:15) We got, we got time to do one more. (11:17) Yeah.(11:17) Yeah. (11:17) We got a couple minutes. (11:18) So we're going to do.

Alan Lazaros

(11:19) Okay. (11:19) So we did sacrifice. (11:20) Yeah.(11:22) Struggle. (11:23) Struggle. (11:23) Yeah.(11:25) I, now if you, if you argue with that one, you're, I'm not, I'm not arguing with any. (11:30) No, no, no, not you. (11:32) Oh, I meant like anyone listening, we really got to get off that.(11:35) Like brother, I'm not on that train anymore. (11:37) I'm not on the train of interviewing you anymore. (11:39) Like a pass cap.(11:40) It's over. (11:41) Okay. (11:42) No, no.(11:42) I mean to the listeners, if anyone out there thinks you should be successful without having to struggle, you are wildly inaccurate. (11:50) You're just wildly inaccurate. (11:51) I was struggling.(11:52) I'm struggling fucking right now, right now. (11:56) I'm having trouble getting two episodes done before book club, before my coaching, before just got out of the gym, but I'm struggling right now. (12:05) And you think you can be successful without struggle?(12:08) I would, you gotta be another level of unintelligent for that to be a fucking thing in your head.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:14) Well, I think it's, I think it's, yeah, it's delusional, but I, I'm telling you, I think so much of the delusion is based on the advice people are giving. (12:20) Yeah. (12:21) But the advice people are giving is bullshit.(12:23) I know.

Alan Lazaros

(12:23) But like, I think who the hell is saying that? (12:27) I mean, you should be successful without struggling.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:31) Give me, I don't know. (12:32) Give me probably like any, pull any of the top 10 self-improvement podcasts in the world. (12:38) And I'm guaranteed one of them saying that guaranteed.(12:40) Yeah. (12:41) That's so sad. (12:42) That's so depressing.(12:43) That's why they're one of the biggest self-improvement podcasts in the baby.

Alan Lazaros

(12:47) Mental and emotional candy is bad for you. (12:50) It's a hundred horse shit. (12:52) It's not real.(12:54) You gotta grow up and know that you've got this.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:57) So the, the struggle part is like, this is where you've already sacrificed a fair amount. (13:05) And it almost seems like nothing you're doing is making any progress.

Alan Lazaros

(13:08) Yeah, exactly.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:09) You're, you're doing, you have to keep doing it, even though it blows. (13:13) Not only do you have to keep doing it, you have to keep doing it more. (13:16) And you have to like better and even more strict and more intentional.(13:22) Now that's why this, like, that's, it makes total sense to me. (13:26) This whole fucking success thing makes total sense. (13:29) If you don't sacrifice enough, you don't get to struggle because by definition, when you start sacrificing things, you do start to struggle.(13:38) It's like, Oh, fine. (13:39) I miss this. (13:40) I want this.(13:41) Like, I really like to go back to this. (13:43) Struggling is you staying in the journey. (13:46) Yep.(13:47) It's you staying in the journey.

Alan Lazaros

(13:50) Let's get one more. (13:52) Suffer. (13:53) This is the one I think most people have the worst relationship with.(13:58) If I had to pick one that people suck at most, it's this one suffering by choice. (14:02) You have to, I would like, I don't want to be over with this, but you have to suffer by choice. (14:12) You have to.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:13) And anyone who does that means you don't it. (14:16) What does it mean? (14:18) Suffer by choice?(14:18) Like, what does that mean?

Alan Lazaros

(14:19) When I was like, I'm going to try to go for a seven, 10 mile in, in the heat wave. (14:26) And then I got a six 50. (14:27) That was six minutes and 50 seconds of pure suffering.(14:31) It was not fun. (14:33) I did not enjoy it. (14:34) There was not any bliss.(14:36) It was just who can suffer the most. (14:39) How much can you suffer? (14:40) And again, six 50 for some people is nothing for some people that would kill them.(14:44) Give me something.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:45) Give me something different though. (14:46) Cause that's six 50. (14:47) Give me a dude, this is months.(14:50) Like, give me the months of suffering.

Alan Lazaros

(14:52) It's Saturday at 12 45 PM on a beautiful day. (14:55) And I will be in my office all day. (15:00) Is that suffering?(15:01) Probably not. (15:01) That's why I use the other one.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:02) Cause to me it's like, okay, I know, but it's like, but after seven minutes, you're done, you know? (15:08) Oh, I don't know if that's a good analogy. (15:10) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(15:11) 125 miles in a row. (15:13) 125 days. (15:16) Yeah.(15:17) But like, and success on the other end of that is better VO two max look better, feel better, more calorie output, better metabolism, like success is on the other side of that.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:28) Yeah. (15:28) It doesn't land though. (15:29) Why not?(15:30) Because that's like a, I don't know. (15:32) I think of maybe not, maybe it doesn't, I don't think it would land for me. (15:35) I think it's like, that's, this is the part in the story.(15:39) This is the part in the pursuit of happiness where Will Smith is with his son in the bathroom. (15:44) Like this is the fucking, this is the part where most people, even people that are committed, this is where they quit. (15:52) It's like, this isn't going to fucking work.(15:54) You tell a story about this is the part where you're doing more work than you've ever done. (15:59) And you can, it feels like you're almost there. (16:02) It feels like you're almost there, but it also feels like you do not have yet what it takes to actually get over the hump.(16:09) This is, this is the fucking not being able to buy Christmas presents for Taryn, getting my fucking health, my car insurance sent to collections, my car shit in the bed. (16:18) This is like the, Oh my God, how has it gotten worse? (16:24) How?(16:25) I didn't know it could get worse. (16:27) It is actually gotten dramatically and exponentially worse over the last year.

Alan Lazaros

(16:32) For me, this would be all my friends making fun of me. (16:33) That. (16:34) And like me being like, I thought these people loved me.(16:36) Like, why is everyone making fun of me? (16:38) That is the fucking. (16:40) So yeah, that was awful.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:41) All right. (16:41) We're going to do part two, part two. (16:43) We're going to talk about the other two.(16:44) All right. (16:44) Alan's coaching is great to avoid some of this shit. (16:47) Imagine.(16:48) I know he's, he doesn't want my opinion. (16:49) He said, I don't want to, I'm not interviewing you, but imagine if you could ask Alan questions behind the scenes about what this actually took, because you're not going to get that on an other fucking podcast. (16:56) Cause most people are lying because they want to sell you their, whatever it is, CBD oil or whatever the fuck it is.(17:02) That ain't it. (17:03) Next level fit is accountability group. (17:04) Come jam with us and get jacked as always.(17:06) We love you. (17:07) Appreciate you. (17:07) Grateful for each and every one of you.(17:08) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level tune in tomorrow because we will be here every day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(17:13) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:16) Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university. (17:20) We love connecting with the next level family.

Alan Lazaros

(17:23) We mean it. (17:23) When we say family, if you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (17:28) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:32) Thank you again. (17:33) And we will talk to you tomorrow.