How Well Do You Know Your Weakness (2496)

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What if the weakness holding you back is not the one you keep trying to fix?

In this episode, Kevin and Alan dig into why honest self-assessment is a performance skill. They break down how to use goals, outcomes, measurement, and adjustment to identify the real constraint holding you back. They also discuss the value of trusted feedback, taking ownership without self-judgment, and building your life around genuine strengths while addressing the weaknesses that limit your progress.

Your next level is rarely blocked by what you already do well. It is more often blocked by the thing you have not yet been willing, able, or equipped to see. Before you add another habit, find the actual bottleneck. Your calendar has been carrying enough false alarms.

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Visit our website and socials through the links below. 👇

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Show notes:
(2:56) How to identify blind spots through goals and failure
(4:27) Using setbacks to find the true constraint
(7:41) Systems thinking: Inputs, outputs, measurement, and adjustment
(11:27) Why achievement requires studying what is actually effective
(16:03) The role of trusted people in honest self-assessment
(19:15) Build your life around strengths and mitigate weaknesses
(23:15) How meaningful goals reveal your limitations
(27:54) The meta-weakness of not knowing your real weakness
(29:05) Using your long-term vision to identify present constraints
(33:35) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If I sat you down and I said, hey, what is your number one weakness? (0:05) And you don't know that. (0:06) You have a belief that your weakness is one thing and it's something completely different.(0:10) Your biggest weakness is not knowing your actual weakness.

Alan Lazaros

(0:13) Two things. (0:14) One, why would you work on something that you already think is great? (0:18) Two, what if you have the wrong weakness?(0:20) You're going to go to work on the wrong thing. (0:22) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:25) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:26) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros. (0:29) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:36) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:43) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:58) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:05) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:10) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,496, How Well Do You Know Your Weakness? (1:17) We'll say number one weakness. (1:18) Last night was the final round of group 22, the 22nd group for the Next Level Podcast Accelerator.(1:26) The pod squad. (1:27) The pod squad. (1:29) And the final session is always a send-off, but it was very much a working session.(1:34) And one of the questions Alan asked was, what is your biggest weakness? (1:38) And I answered, and Alan answered, Amy answered, and then everybody in the group answered. (1:43) And it was really cool because it was essentially a live coaching session.(1:46) And Alan was taking people through and saying, okay, the weakness you think you have is lack of consistency. (1:50) And then under that, it's this, under that, it's this. (1:52) And then you get down to the root of, okay, I just struggle to focus.(1:56) Or I don't have any clarity. (1:58) Interesting.

Alan Lazaros

(1:58) That was a big one.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:59) That was a big one.

Alan Lazaros

(2:00) Yeah, lack of clarity. (2:02) You think focus is the problem or consistency is the problem, when underneath that, you just aren't clear enough on what you want to achieve and what you have to do to achieve it.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:14) And that one difference, if somebody, if you're out there and you say, well, I lack consistency. (2:20) Okay, so what are you going to end up doing? (2:22) You're going to look at how to be more consistent.(2:25) What if you don't know what to be consistent on? (2:28) That, all of that help is not, you could hire a, you could, well, you could find a peak performance partner. (2:33) Hey, Alan, I want to be more consistent.(2:35) Can we do like check-ins? (2:37) I'll text you every day. (2:38) You can text me every day.(2:39) No, I'm not interested. (2:40) All right, I'll find somebody else. (2:41) No, no, yeah.(2:43) But that's not going to help. (2:44) Yeah, you'll get really good and really accountable at messaging that other person, but you're not going to do the right things if you don't know why you're not doing the right things in the first place. (2:51) And I think that's a really interesting perspective.(2:54) And I think it's a cool conversation.

Alan Lazaros

(2:56) So how does one find their weakness? (2:58) How do you accurately identify your weakness or your blind spot? (3:03) Because by definition, it's a blind spot.(3:05) You don't know what it is. (3:07) For sure. (3:08) That's why it's called a blind spot.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:10) Thank you. (3:11) Yeah. (3:13) Blind spot in the car, you know, the place you can't see.(3:16) That's what I'm saying. (3:17) Yeah. (3:18) I would ask you because I think all the weaknesses I have that I've recognized oftentimes are based on other people.(3:25) It's either other people telling me or me comparing to the reality that I see from somebody else. (3:30) Not the bullshit I see on social media, but behind the scenes where it's like, oh, that person's really organized, like wildly organized. (3:37) And I don't have any...(3:39) Nothing I have looks like that. (3:41) So that's probably something that could be a thing for me.

Alan Lazaros

(3:43) Well, that comes back to the thing we always go back to, which is the people you surround yourself with. (3:52) We did an episode last week about a client of mine is like, I'm not ready. (3:57) I'm not next level enough or I'm not a peak performer.(3:59) And it's like, but what if you aren't a peak performer because you're not around peak performers? (4:07) You never know. (4:08) You might, you might see it'll rub off on you.(4:13) I think it'll rub off on you, but that's neither here nor there. (4:16) All right. (4:16) So how do I identify my weaknesses?(4:23) How do I... (4:25) Okay, here's one way. (4:27) You, you aim at a goal and then you fail.(4:34) That's the start. (4:35) And then you go, what the fuck? (4:40) This didn't work at all.(4:41) And then you find out why. (4:43) And, and the why it didn't work is, is either because you have the wrong approach or you suck. (4:49) Well, how do you know the why though?(4:51) That's the deductive reasoning piece. (4:53) You have to figure out why you didn't succeed. (4:59) And then, and then what was the reason underneath that?(5:03) There's usually an internal and an external reason. (5:08) Uh, do I want to use that exit? (5:13) 10 pound in 10 week challenge.(5:14) We'll use that because it's so relatable and it's what we're in. (5:17) So I weighed in and I posted about it. (5:21) I was, I was heavy and it's like, okay, what's the problem?(5:25) Well, I'm drinking way more water. (5:26) I have a new rule. (5:27) I can't look at this bottle without drinking it, which means I have to do it right now.(5:32) Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. (5:35) This episode brought to you by regular water. (5:40) Is it special hydrant?(5:42) No, it's just water. (5:42) Just water. (5:43) Just water.(5:44) Special filtered water. (5:46) No, it's just water. (5:47) It actually is filtered, but whatever.(5:48) Okay. (5:49) So 10 pounds in 10 weeks, you're not succeeding. (5:52) Okay, cool.(5:52) Awesome. (5:53) Why? (5:54) Uh, I'm eating too much.(5:57) And or drinking more water. (5:59) So I didn't weigh in properly. (6:01) Okay.(6:01) Now I'm going to do, I'm going to lower my meals, my calories, and I'm going to intensify my workouts. (6:09) And I'm going to shorten the, the time between sets. (6:13) So that I get more calories burnt in the same amount of time.(6:16) Cause I'm still going to do just an hour a day. (6:18) I'm not, I'm not increasing that. (6:19) It's, it's already fairly difficult to, to do every day.(6:26) Um, what's the weakness inside of me? (6:28) So that all sounds simple, right? (6:30) Awesome.(6:32) What if I'm not doing it? (6:35) And then you got, this is the part I think people suck at. (6:38) You got to look at where you suck.(6:40) It's not a fucking outside problem. (6:44) It's never really an outside problem. (6:46) It's like, ah, you know, you know what it is?(6:48) Instagram these days is the algorithms.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:50) Listen, there's nothing you could do about that. (6:51) No, but I think most people end up, I think they do the right things wrong. (6:56) I think they do the right.(6:57) I think one of the reasons people are like, oh, you know, it's not as easy as calories in versus calories out. (7:03) There are many, many, many nuances to it in terms of like hormones and cycles and all that stuff. (7:09) Yes.(7:10) And I don't have the research study. (7:12) Maybe if I know I'm going to use one in the future, I'll find it and we can cite it. (7:16) But there have been many of those where they followed people around that said they were tracking a certain amount of calories and they were wrong about tracking.(7:23) They were off by 20 or 30 percent. (7:26) Guess what? (7:26) That 20 or 30 percent takes you from a deficit to a surplus.(7:30) And yeah, you are tracking. (7:32) You're just not tracking correctly. (7:33) I think there's a lot of people, and again, myself included in the past for sure, that are doing the right thing wrong, wrong.

Alan Lazaros

(7:41) Well, you have to do the right thing the right way for the right amount of time and then adjust along the way. (7:48) I have this digital asset. (7:53) Inputs, outputs, measure, adjust.(7:55) It's called systems thinking. (7:56) It's what I built my whole life on. (7:59) Genuinely.(8:00) Like that principle is what are the outputs I want, which are the goals. (8:05) And then there's the goal of the goal, which is the effect of the effect we talked about a couple episodes ago. (8:10) So let me just do this.(8:13) 10 pounds in 10 weeks is the output. (8:15) The input is lowering my calories and increasing my exercise. (8:20) Measure, step on the scale, adjust.(8:22) Ah, I'm eating too much. (8:24) OK, and then you just eat less. (8:27) It sounds overly simplified, but that is what it is.(8:30) And if you don't measure and adjust, you can't succeed. (8:33) And I think that you have to do inputs, outputs, measure, adjust forever, over and over and over again. (8:38) This is one of the reasons I have a client I want to shout out real quick.(8:43) He said, first credit card completely cleared of debt, exclamation point. (8:48) Now I've got the second one. (8:50) Day went great last night, by the way.(8:52) It's like, of course, and again, I know it's going to sound cocky, but of course. (8:58) We set you up for that completely. (9:01) It's just the science of achievement.(9:04) The science of achievement, though, can take a lifetime to master.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:07) Well, I think the other thing, too, is if you don't, you have to study the inputs and you have to understand the input creates what output. (9:13) And if the output is on, awesome. (9:14) If it's off, if it's over, what does that mean?(9:17) If it's under, what does that mean? (9:18) If it's to the left, what does that mean? (9:20) It is, it's a whole fucking thing.

Alan Lazaros

(9:22) For the women listening, I shared with him his first date anonymously. (9:28) He got a little Rico Suave. (9:31) And what I meant by that is he drank a little too much.(9:35) He wasn't sloshed or anything, but he was definitely like a little bit overly. (9:38) He like made out with her on the first date, basically right up against the car. (9:42) I was like, dude, you're trying to play the long game, right?(9:46) Now she thinks you want to sleep with her. (9:47) He's like, well, I do. (9:48) And I was like, no, no, I know.(9:49) But like, she doesn't, you want the long game, right? (9:52) He's like, of course, absolutely. (9:53) Right.(9:55) So I said, here's what you got to do. (9:57) You got to take ownership for that. (9:58) He's like, no, no, no, no.(10:00) I can't acknowledge a problem that she doesn't even know that I'm aware of. (10:03) It's like, I'm telling you, it'll be like, she saw a unicorn. (10:07) Women, for the women listening, they love when a man takes ownership.(10:12) When you can just be like, you know what? (10:15) I was a little over the top. (10:17) I, I want you to know, I want to play the long game.(10:20) I was a little, I was a little too, too intense on that first date. (10:23) He did it. (10:25) He's like, I can't believe how well it worked.(10:28) It was unbelievable. (10:29) I was like, brother, that's all they want. (10:32) Don't act like some fucking hotshot picking her up against the fuck.(10:36) You see that bullshit in movies that she wants to know that you're not a douche. (10:42) Like, but again, I also know all that because I've been coaching women for 11 years. (10:47) Like literal supermodels.(10:48) I've coached famous this, that, the other thing I coach couples. (10:51) Like you just have to learn the game. (10:54) You just have to study the game.(10:57) What do women really want? (10:59) They want someone who's humble, courageous, vulnerable, and candid and who can take ownership.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:03) Where do you study it? (11:04) Where do you study it? (11:05) Because most of the most popular shit is the dumbest.(11:09) It's the dumbest. (11:10) It's the dumbest.

Alan Lazaros

(11:11) He's like, dude, I can't believe it. (11:13) It's like, it's like, dude, I know, but I told you like, that's it. (11:19) But that's the thing is like, where do you find that?(11:22) I know it's like, it's, it's study, practice, teach. (11:27) And I'm glad we're having this conversation because the truth of the matter is, is like, I have this saying. (11:31) I say, nice guys always lose, but it's not because they're nice.(11:34) It's because they're fucking timid. (11:37) And it took me a long time to figure this out. (11:40) I didn't know what the fuck I was doing back in the day.(11:42) I was 14, complete and utter loser. (11:44) And I was like, yo, one day, one day, baby. (11:48) And I just started to study.(11:49) I was like, what the fuck makes that guy attractive? (11:51) He seems like a douche, right? (11:52) And it's like, oh, he's wicked tenacious.(11:56) And he's like a little reckless. (11:57) And that's like hot for girls. (11:59) Okay.(11:59) Interesting. (11:59) But he also, you know, she got her heart ripped out by him. (12:04) So maybe he's a dick.(12:05) So you need to be both. (12:06) You need to be strong and warm. (12:07) I could do a whole fucking episode on that.(12:08) But my point is, is the science of achievement is you have an outcome you want. (12:13) And you commit to figuring out how to get it. (12:16) No matter how much failure it takes.(12:18) And every time you fail, you go back to the drawing board and you figure out why you failed inside you and outside you. (12:24) And this goes back to the weakness thing. (12:26) This is something that I've been really hammering lately.(12:29) You and I both have. (12:31) So many people are so focused on where they're great and validating where they're great. (12:37) And I'm all for that if you need self-esteem or whatever.(12:40) But the reason you're not achieving your goals is because of... (12:43) This is what I try to explain. (12:46) You are not not succeeding because you don't believe enough in what you already believe.(12:52) You already believe in that. (12:55) Good. (12:55) It's not working.(12:57) It's not working. (12:58) Are you winning? (12:58) No.(12:59) Then you don't just believe more in what you already believe. (13:03) What you need is someone to say, Hey, you're a fucking coward. (13:07) And you know it.(13:09) And you never call him out for that. (13:11) You did this to me yesterday. (13:12) Literally yesterday.(13:13) You have called me out for being a coward. (13:14) Not 24 hours ago. (13:17) Okay.(13:18) Awesome. (13:19) You're right. (13:19) Fair.(13:21) That's why I'm not winning with that person. (13:23) Or in this way. (13:26) It's not what you already believe that you need more of.(13:29) Like when I look back, right? (13:32) And I say, Oh, I wasn't successful with health, wealth, or love. (13:35) It's always I was missing something.(13:38) It's always... (13:39) It wasn't, Oh, Alan, you're not focused enough. (13:41) You're not hardworking enough.(13:42) You're not... (13:42) Imagine if I was like, Well, I'll just work harder. (13:44) I'll just focus more.(13:46) Yeah, true, true, true. (13:47) But that's not the real issue. (13:49) The real issue is you're too cowardly to tell people what you really think.(13:53) And until you fix that, hard work and focus ain't going to fix it. (13:58) And so I think the weakness thing, don't build your career on a weakness. (14:02) But you have no choice but to look at those.(14:05) And I think it's so stupid to like, think you're going to be holistically successful without looking at where you're, you're just inadequate. (14:13) Like if you could, if you could program a perfect human, like let's say it's a cyborg and it's a human. (14:20) Like what kind of...(14:21) You could have a partner. (14:23) You could have someone by your side, a sidekick. (14:26) Okay.(14:26) And it's, it's a human being. (14:28) And you could download the character traits and what do you want? (14:31) Like, okay.(14:32) They'd need to be confident, but also humble. (14:35) They'd need to be super strong and tenacious, but also kind and respectful. (14:40) They would need to be smart, obviously.(14:42) They would need to be consistent and reliable. (14:44) They would need to be empathetic and able to build trust and build relationships. (14:50) They would need to be like, just go through this list and then realize like, Oh, I blow it like half of those.(14:57) And then look at yourself and go, Oh fuck. (15:01) And then you just get to work. (15:02) Like I realized this year that I'm not as good at building trust as I thought.(15:09) I'm really good one-on-one, but I say things that make no sense to people and it breaks trust. (15:17) And I didn't know that. (15:19) I didn't mean to do that, obviously.(15:20) But like people think I'm full of shit. (15:22) And it's like, well, how do I learn how to help people understand that I'm not full of shit? (15:28) And now I'm working on that.(15:29) And there's been actually a few humdingers I've thrown lately where it's like, Oh my God, like that's not going to work. (15:36) That didn't make any sense to someone else just because it makes sense to me. (15:38) Right?(15:39) So here I am, Mr. Effective Communicator. (15:41) No, no, I'm a more effective communicator than 99% of people. (15:46) That doesn't matter if my goals require me to be more effective than I am.(15:51) And I just don't think that anyone, so few of us are like actually accurate in our self-assessment necessary to achieve the goal.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:03) The other thing, you know, the other thing that makes it really hard is your reference group matters a ton. (16:14) Because one, you're not going to be able to admit your weaknesses to people if you don't trust them. (16:20) I think that's one of the biggest things.(16:24) Like, I don't know, in the past, I didn't want to come out and say my weaknesses because I thought they'd be used against me. (16:30) And then you say your due will be used against you in a court of law by your peer group. (16:36) Or with your bully peer group.(16:38) I think that's one of the things, man. (16:40) I think that's like, when it comes to like team calls or anything we do, I don't, I'm never, or on the podcast, I'm never worried about talking about my weaknesses. (16:48) It's a credit build, not a credit hit.(16:49) I don't even, I'm not even thinking about it that way. (16:51) I'm just thinking like, nobody's going to use this against me. (16:53) And if they do, like that tells me more about them than it tells me about me.(16:59) And that's, you know, you want to do that. (17:01) That says a lot about you.

Alan Lazaros

(17:05) I hope, and I'm grateful, I think that's why yesterday was such a breath of fresh air for everybody in the group. (17:12) Because it's like, wait, we're going to all just share where we suck. (17:15) And I literally said on the call, I said, you guys are great.(17:18) Awesome. (17:18) I don't care. (17:19) That's not going to help you.(17:20) Let's all talk about how awesome we are. (17:23) That's not useful. (17:26) Like, hey, Kev, why are you not more successful?(17:31) Um, cause I'm already dope at these six things. (17:33) That hasn't, no, right? (17:35) Like congratulations.(17:36) You're fucking sweet, brother. (17:38) It doesn't really matter. (17:40) The science of achievement doesn't care that you're like an awesome speaker.(17:44) That's not what we have to work on. (17:46) Right. (17:46) And so Kevin's was, he's not organized.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:49) Mine was wildly disorganized is what I said.

Alan Lazaros

(17:52) Fair. (17:53) And that's what you work on. (17:54) And I think that, and that's what constraint theory is built on and all this kind of stuff.(17:58) But how, how does someone overcome their fear of sharing their weaknesses? (18:02) Because quite frankly, I think I'm actually afraid of sharing the strengths more than the weaknesses. (18:08) I don't care.(18:09) I'll share every weakness I've got. (18:10) Like that's comfort zone for me.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:12) Well, it makes sense. (18:13) You share it closest to home with the people you trust the most. (18:17) That, I think that's the only answer.(18:18) What if you don't have that? (18:20) Share it anonymously on the internet, make a fake profile, go somewhere into some personal development, self-improvement group and share your weakness completely anonymously. (18:32) And watch how nobody cares.(18:34) Nobody cares. (18:36) Nobody's going to say, Oh my God. (18:38) Oh my God.(18:38) Anonymous turtle 1436. (18:40) You're a fucking loser because you're disorganized. (18:44) Anonymous turtle 1436.(18:47) No, I don't. (18:48) Find a community where you can do that. (18:51) I love when people talk about their weaknesses.(18:53) It's awesome. (18:54) Awesome. (18:55) It's very useful.(18:56) Awesome. (18:57) And I think I always have too. (18:58) Cause it's like, Oh, you trust me enough to tell me the truth.(19:00) I love that. (19:00) I don't want to hear about the things that you're amazing at. (19:04) I probably already know the things that you're amazing at.(19:05) I can see that.

Alan Lazaros

(19:07) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:07) But you're mitigating the weaknesses by hiding them. (19:10) I don't, if I don't know what it is, I can't help you.

Alan Lazaros

(19:15) The, when I say build your career on a strength, I need to make this as clear as possible. (19:21) Cause I don't want to derail anybody and I'm trying my best to communicate accurately. (19:28) How do we explain that?(19:29) Let's do that. (19:31) You can't build a career on a weakness. (19:34) You can't like, if you suck at tennis, like out of the gate, do not try to be a professional tennis player.(19:42) Cause you're just going to lose forever. (19:44) Like you're going to work. (19:46) Brandon and I, we were talking, Brandon has a, he sent me some photos of him in high school and it turns out he actually is more ectomorph than I, than I thought.(19:54) And what I mean by that is he's, he's actually skinny by nature and he doesn't have big muscle bellies and he's not built for bodybuilding, even though he's shorter. (20:02) And he's like, dude, I feel you, man. (20:04) Like I'm not built for bodybuilding either, but we're, we're overcoming that.(20:07) And I said, isn't it interesting how we picked a sport where our level 10 effort is still only 60% results. (20:14) And it's frustrating sometimes like, and I know I'm not alone in this. (20:19) Let's share this quick, quickly.(20:21) A lot of listeners will relate. (20:23) I would have to work at least 1.5 times as hard for the same muscle mass as you. (20:29) Now I think that's going to change cause I'm aging better over time.(20:34) But the truth of the matter is you were jacked in high school with very little effort.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:39) I take that personally at times when people say that, cause it's like, I've been working out since I was like, you know, I know, 16.

Alan Lazaros

(20:45) I know, you know, working out since I was 16. (20:48) All right. (20:49) Let's do the same thing.(20:49) We'll do me, you know, you and I run together. (20:52) Let's say we, let's say we run every day. (20:57) You and I are going to time our mile and you're going to try to beat me.(21:00) You're trying to beat me.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:01) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(21:02) All right. (21:02) You, you have 365 days of running with me and you're trying to beat me. (21:06) How many times do you actually beat me?

Kevin Palmieri

(21:09) Uh, like, I don't know, maybe three times. (21:13) Maybe you have injuries those days.

Alan Lazaros

(21:16) It's like the correct answer is zero times.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:17) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(21:18) But like, we have to, I would never let you be.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:20) No, no. (21:20) We have to factor in like how many days could you out squat me? (21:23) You could out squat me three days.(21:24) If I had that.

Alan Lazaros

(21:25) I don't know, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:25) If I got hurt for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(21:27) If you got hurt. (21:27) Yeah. (21:27) Okay.(21:28) So in this metaphor, it's only when you blow out your knee that I can beat you in squatting. (21:32) Of course. (21:33) Okay.(21:34) Fair, fair, fair. (21:34) Of course. (21:35) I appreciate the accuracy.(21:36) The point is, is it's just, that's my point. (21:39) You do not build your life around a weakness. (21:43) Okay.(21:44) Now it's like, well, Alan, then why did you choose bodybuilding? (21:46) I chose aesthetic bodybuilding. (21:49) My aesthetics are good.(21:50) But you didn't build your life around either. (21:52) Exactly. (21:52) I mean, I almost did right back.(21:54) I mean, I did for a little while with the fitness stuff and all that. (21:57) And I'm a fitness coach, but, and I was natural aesthetic bodybuilding. (22:00) My, my, it was natural men's physique, fitness model.(22:04) It was fitness modeling. (22:05) It wasn't, I'm not going to be the biggest. (22:07) I know that.(22:08) But anyways, the point that I'm making is you, you have to build your career and your life around strengths. (22:14) But then after that, it's all mitigating weaknesses and constraints, you know? (22:20) And I think that there's so many books on double down on your strength and double down on your strength.(22:24) It's like, yeah, no, I'm with you. (22:25) You, you have to, you, you know, if you're five, two, do not try to get in the NBA. (22:29) It's never going to happen.(22:32) But once you do double down on your strength and find your strength and find your genius zone and find where you're, where you're meant to be, then it basically becomes stay in that lane and mitigate every weakness that comes up as a constraint in the future.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:47) I'll never forget my, my Nana rest in peace. (22:50) She was like, you should be a horse jockey. (22:52) And I was like, that is wildly specific, just incredibly specific.(22:57) But I was little and I was light. (22:59) Yeah. (22:59) I probably would have been awesome.(23:00) I'm an awesome horse jockey in another life. (23:04) You would Toby Maguire, Seabiscuit, Seabiscuit. (23:07) I think I'm a little too heavy, a little too heavy, you know?(23:10) Because you bodybuild though. (23:10) Because I bodybuild the bodybuilding. (23:13) Yeah.(23:13) Imagine me on the back of a horse.

Alan Lazaros

(23:15) Wrap this in a boat. (23:16) I talk about strengths and weaknesses all the time. (23:19) What about, what about this never made sense to you from a success perspective?(23:22) Because I say the science of achievement with love, you didn't know the science of achievement and now you do. (23:28) So I want to hear from you.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:30) I don't know, man. (23:31) I think for you, you're projecting how easy it is to find a weakness. (23:35) I think that's the fucking issue.(23:38) I think that's the issue because if you try, because I was thinking to myself, all right, what is a goal that I've set recently that I have not accomplished? (23:45) Nice. (23:45) What's a goal?(23:47) And then it was like, honestly, I've been accomplishing most of my goals lately, which is great, which is great. (23:52) What's the last one that I missed completely? (24:02) I don't know.(24:02) I don't know really, because I don't really set that many goals outside of the fucking five things that I do.

Alan Lazaros

(24:07) And you set goals pretty low on purpose.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:10) I think the only, the only thought process is to your point, you just have to sign up for the continued pursuit of the truth of whatever it is you're doing. (24:22) And in the beginning, you think, I didn't know how many different ways you could fuck up a golf swing. (24:31) And so I started playing golf.(24:32) I, it does, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. (24:34) It's not part of the thing. (24:35) It doesn't matter.(24:35) It's not even in my mind. (24:37) Then when you start playing, it's like, well, when the ball goes this way, that means one of three things. (24:42) If it goes the other way, that means one of three things.(24:44) If it's going this way, you're doing one of these three things. (24:47) And then you just continue to test, test, test, test, test, test. (24:50) Again, golf is easy because you just go to the driving range.

Alan Lazaros

(24:52) I love it. (24:53) This is good. (24:53) So, so if you wanted to be a pro golfer and you actually believed that was possible.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:58) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(24:59) You would immediately notice a thousand weaknesses. (25:02) A hundred percent. (25:02) Okay.(25:03) Okay. (25:03) Give me the top three. (25:04) You want to be a professional golfer.(25:06) You're going to can the podcast, can the company, all this goes. (25:09) Okay. (25:09) You're going to be a professional golfer.(25:10) Hey, Kevin, Paul, Mary, you're going to be a professional golfer.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:14) Awesome.

Alan Lazaros

(25:14) That's your new dream. (25:15) You tell everybody now, all of a sudden, every weakness shows itself to you. (25:19) What are the, what are the biggest top three constraints to doing that immediately?(25:23) This is why people don't set goals. (25:25) I think the moment you set a goal, you, you immediately realize how fucking wildly inadequate you are. (25:29) Go ahead.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:30) Like what are the constraints to be me being a successful professional golfer? (25:34) Yes. (25:35) Oh my God.(25:36) My swing. (25:37) Besides I suck. (25:38) Yeah, my swing is atrocious.(25:41) Okay. (25:42) I am just incredibly stiff and unflexible and I'm fucking blind in one eye and I have very bad depth perception. (25:52) So like there are certain things where I'll hit it 30 yards past where I want it to go and I'd be like, I thought it was going to land right about where I want.(26:00) No, I don't. (26:01) I can't see how far, I can't tell how far it is.

Alan Lazaros

(26:03) Okay. (26:03) What's the best part about your golf game?

Kevin Palmieri

(26:08) My mindset.

Alan Lazaros

(26:10) No, no, no, I meant like, I meant like a green. (26:13) Are you good at the drive drive?

Kevin Palmieri

(26:15) I'm decent putting.

Alan Lazaros

(26:16) What's your best club? (26:17) What's your best club?

Kevin Palmieri

(26:17) My putter, the flat stick.

Alan Lazaros

(26:18) Nice. (26:19) Okay. (26:19) So you're good on the green.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:20) Yeah, I'm good on the green.

Alan Lazaros

(26:20) Good on the green. (26:21) Okay, nice. (26:22) Awesome.(26:23) Keep that strong. (26:24) You get a good on the green game. (26:26) Everything else.(26:27) That's not the bottleneck to you being a professional golfer.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:29) A hundred percent.

Alan Lazaros

(26:30) It still is. (26:30) Cause you suck at it. (26:32) Yeah, it still is.(26:33) But like, I think that's a good metaphor of people, people, they probably don't want to spend their life looking at where they're inadequate. (26:42) Like it's, it's not fun, but, and, and, and you can improve these things. (26:49) There's nothing about your golf game.(26:50) You can't improve now. (26:52) Golf doesn't matter. (26:52) Who cares?(26:53) You're not actually trying to do that. (26:54) But, but if, if that was your career.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:56) Oh yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(26:57) You have no choice, but to consistently every day go, okay, I have to break this down. (27:03) All right. (27:04) My swing.(27:04) Okay. (27:05) Why is my swing suck? (27:06) Okay.(27:06) Well, I'm not that flexible. (27:07) Okay. (27:07) Well, why?(27:08) Cause I don't foam roll. (27:08) Okay. (27:09) Well, I got to start foam rolling.(27:10) Like those little tiny improvements. (27:13) I, I, we see these, these amazing movies or these amazing people, these podcasters. (27:19) We see these great speeches and I, I don't see that.(27:23) So my Toastmasters speech, I do think was the best speech I've ever given. (27:27) And that 30 minutes was, I believe, world-class just world-class. (27:31) But you see the 30 minutes.(27:34) You don't see the 30 years of me working on it to make it great. (27:39) And I think that that's a problem. (27:41) Everything that's great that you see on the surface is decades of mastery.(27:47) Whether what's called deliberate practice, working on and mitigating your weaknesses and your inadequacies.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:54) It's a never ending game. (27:56) It's a never ending game. (27:57) But that is the, the wrap up of this is if you don't know your weaknesses very well, that is your weakness.(28:04) Nice. (28:04) And if you go all in, that's a meta weakness. (28:06) If you go all in on fixing a weakness that isn't a weakness, you're Jeffed.(28:11) You're Jeffed. (28:12) Now you're going to have more than one, but there's always the main one. (28:14) There's a main one that leads to a bunch of other ones.(28:17) You got to focus on getting that. (28:18) Mine is I am wildly disorganized. (28:20) I'm, am I capable of success?(28:24) Yes. (28:25) Am I as capable as I need to be in order to be as successful as I desire to be? (28:30) No.(28:31) Nice. (28:31) No, but I can still operate. (28:32) Everything's fine.(28:34) That's the other thing too. (28:36) The other thing too, and we'll go because we don't have time. (28:38) Maybe we'll do a separate episode on this, but you don't understand the downside of your weakness if you've never had the strength.(28:44) Or you never had the goal that illuminated it.

Alan Lazaros

(28:47) So if you don't have goals, you will not highlight your weaknesses. (28:50) That was kind of the point I was trying to do with the professional golfer thing. (28:53) Is like now you just want to play golf for fun.(28:57) What are your biggest weaknesses? (28:59) Doesn't matter. (29:00) None.(29:01) Lack of time. (29:02) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:03) Lack of fucking golf time.

Alan Lazaros

(29:05) And so everyone, if nothing else, sit down and go, okay, what are my most important goals in life? (29:10) What do I want to achieve? (29:11) I want to buy a home.(29:12) I want to have a family, whatever it is. (29:14) Like, I want to be a great father. (29:16) Okay.(29:16) What, what does that mean to me? (29:19) Not to anyone else, but to me. (29:20) And what do I have to work on now?(29:22) From the moment you and I met, not the moment for the first few weeks, we knew we wanted to be together long-term, start a family together. (29:29) We both have been working on it. (29:31) We eat a certain way, no joke, because epigenetically, we want the healthiest eggs and sperm to have the healthiest children.(29:38) That is the level we are. (29:39) I'm not joking. (29:40) Like if I'm hammering protein Doritos, like she will call me out.(29:43) She's like our kids. (29:44) It's like, I know, I know, I know. (29:46) And I'm still going to do it.(29:48) But the point that I'm making is you can think long-term your future. (29:51) You can go into the future of what you want, and you really can look in the present and go, oh, okay. (29:57) All right.(29:58) There's these bottlenecks and these constraints inside of me and outside of me that make it impossible to do that. (30:03) And the home that I told you I wanted, the car I told you I wanted, the business I told you I wanted, the team I told you I wanted, the partner I told you I wanted, it's all coming true. (30:13) Why?(30:13) Because every day I wake up in the morning and go, Alan, what are the constraints and weaknesses holding you back from the life you want? (30:21) And sometimes it's people that I have to say goodbye to. (30:24) Sometimes it's character traits that I have to work on.(30:26) Sometimes it's giant blind spots that I have to accept. (30:32) Sometimes it's being less naive, pretty much always. (30:34) And that's not just a me thing.(30:37) This is a principle. (30:38) The science of achievement is wildly not studied. (30:41) It's called decoding greatness, constraint theory, game theory, science of achievement, these things, Six Sigma.(30:48) All this stuff is basically built as understandings of how to achieve goals. (30:56) And your goals are most likely possible, just most likely not possible unless you identify and rectify your weaknesses and have a long enough timeline. (31:07) Because if you're not going to accomplish anything tomorrow, imagine if I was like, I want to be a professional golfer.(31:12) If you gave me 20 years, I might be able to pull it off. (31:15) Maybe. (31:16) Okay?(31:16) But I can't do it in two days. (31:19) I'm awful. (31:20) And I think that that's really important to understand, right?(31:24) Very little is impossible given a decade.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:26) I want to have a charity, a golf charity event at some point.

Alan Lazaros

(31:29) Nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:30) What are your thoughts on that?

Alan Lazaros

(31:32) I would go, I think. (31:36) I believe I would go. (31:38) I would need to believe the cause was really important.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:41) It would be for an L.U. What do you mean?

Alan Lazaros

(31:44) For the kids?

Kevin Palmieri

(31:45) Yeah, for whatever. (31:46) However we do it. (31:48) It would be for an L.U. I don't know if it would, I'd love for the kids to golf. (31:51) I don't know if they'd want to though. (31:53) You're three years old. (31:54) You're probably not going to be swinging the stick, but.

Alan Lazaros

(31:57) Well, maybe we have like an age thing. (31:58) Let's talk about it. (31:59) Sure.(32:00) It's an important cause, dude. (32:01) I would do that. (32:02) Oh yeah.(32:02) I'm not going to do it.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:02) It's not going to be for like, yeah, no, it's going to be for charity.

Alan Lazaros

(32:05) Does that mean I'm going to have to get better?

Kevin Palmieri

(32:08) I'd love to see you swing the sticks. (32:09) I would. (32:10) Do I expect you to at all?(32:11) No. (32:12) Would I even care if you played? (32:14) No, I could care less.(32:15) You just ride in the car with me. (32:16) Done.

Alan Lazaros

(32:17) You don't have to do anything. (32:18) Sounds good. (32:18) I'll get content of you.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:19) Just ride in the car. (32:21) But I'm putting that out there. (32:22) At some point I will have the next level, whatever it is, next level Hope Foundation annual golf event.(32:28) I don't know what it's going to be yet, but. (32:29) Cool. (32:30) I would love to do that.(32:31) I think that would be really cool.

Alan Lazaros

(32:32) I like it.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:32) I think that would be really cool. (32:33) All right, cool. (32:33) If you think figuring out what the biggest weakness is, is cool.(32:37) Reach out to Alan for coaching. (32:38) He can help you with that. (32:39) If you're a podcaster and you're trying to figure out what your constraint is, we have the next round of the Next Level Podcast Accelerator.(32:45) We actually changed it because I'm going to be traveling on the day of the first call, and it would be weird for me not to be there. (32:52) So it's going to be what?

Alan Lazaros

(32:54) The 28th? (32:57) Not this Tuesday, but next Tuesday. (33:00) 28th.(33:00) Yes. (33:00) 28th. (33:03) 28th at 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:06) So if you're a podcaster who wants to grow, scale, monetize, you want to know the metrics, the skills, the habits, the awarenesses that you might not have yet. (33:12) We will share those with you and we will help keep you accountable and get more clarity. (33:16) Those are the two things.(33:17) You're going to get accountability and you're going to get clarity, and I think that's something we would all benefit from.

Alan Lazaros

(33:21) We have built our dream company on the foundation of a podcast. (33:28) We can help you do that as well. (33:30) We know how to do it.(33:31) We've done it. (33:32) Not easy, but we know how to do it.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:35) All right, as always, we love you, appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. (33:38) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single freaking day to help you get there. (33:45) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.(33:48) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (33:52) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(33:55) We mean it when we say family. (33:57) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (34:00) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(34:03) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.