Would You Wanna Go To Battle With Yourself? (2505)

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Would you trust yourself to stand beside you when the pressure is real? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan dig into what it takes to become someone you would want as a gym partner, business partner, or intimate partner. They discuss why effort without focus can become little more than box-checking, how the people around you shape your standards, and why self-trust is built through repeated behavior. Kevin and Alan also reflect on nine years of building together, the leadership lessons that come from taking responsibility, and the value of choosing people who challenge you without making excuses for themselves.

This episode is about more than intensity. It is about humility, discipline, awareness, and the ability to lead by example. If you want stronger health, wealth, relationships, and long-term consistency, start by asking whether your current habits make you someone others can rely on.

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Show notes:
(2:49) Why checking the box is not enough
(6:48) How the wrong environment limits your potential
(8:46) The qualities that matter under pressure
(10:17) Stack the skills of a successful adult
(15:15) Take responsibility for your own future
(20:22) Lead by example and reject excuses
(23:02) Why high standards strengthen relationships
(31:09) Questions that reveal your level of self-trust
(33:15) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If you would not want to go into battle with yourself, I am willing to bet if you were to go into battle, you would most likely get destroyed.

Alan Lazaros

(0:09) Health, wealth, and love. (0:11) Would you want to go to the gym with yourself? (0:13) Would you want to go into business with you?(0:15) And would you want to be in a relationship with you? (0:18) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:21) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:23) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:26) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:32) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:39) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:55) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:01) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:07) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,505. (1:10) Would you want to go to battle with yourself? (1:13) I remember back in the day, I had a buddy and we would go to the gym together.(1:20) And I was very much, take my pre-workout, got my hoodie on, I'm there. (1:26) It's going to be an hour minimum. (1:27) We're going to get a really good workout.(1:28) That's the only thing we're here to do. (1:30) Whatever we do after is totally fine, but we're going to figure that out after the gym. (1:34) And it was always like 15 minutes in, just getting into it, just getting into flow, just getting into a good spot in the gym.(1:42) And he would say, hey man, how much longer? (1:44) It's like, brother, we just got here. (1:46) We just got here.(1:47) If you can go do cardio, you can take my car and go home and come pick me up. (1:52) I don't care. (1:53) I got at least another 45 minutes here.(1:56) At least another 45 minutes. (1:58) And I'm telling you, imagine going into business with somebody like that. (2:02) No way.(2:03) Imagine going into battle with somebody like that. (2:05) And again, in this case, we're using battle as an example. (2:07) I'm not saying you actually are going to go to battle with somebody, but just imagine.(2:11) It's a good metaphor though.

Alan Lazaros

(2:11) I think so. (2:12) Because when the stakes are high, I think it's the best metaphor. (2:16) Let me jump in for a second.(2:17) The reason it's the best metaphor is because we're all all in. (2:22) These are your goals and dreams.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:23) You can't take this lightly. (2:25) Well, if the people around you aren't all in, that's what I'm talking about with this. (2:31) This person, again, this is not to be mean.(2:34) It's none of that. (2:35) But this person got into okay shape for a while, and then they kind of let it go. (2:42) And unfortunately, I think that's a piece of the mindset behind it.(2:49) Going back to what we talked about in yesterday's episode, checking the box is not enough. (2:54) I'm in the beginning. (2:55) If you want to check the box, I went to the gym.(2:56) I faced my fear. (2:58) I went in. (2:59) I talked to the trainer.(2:59) Cool. (3:00) Awesome. (3:00) Love it.(3:00) Good for you. (3:01) Love that. (3:01) You know me.(3:02) Start small. (3:03) But six months in, you have to be coloring the box in every time you go. (3:09) Really doing it, not half-assing it.(3:12) And at the time, it was just like, yeah, I don't know. (3:15) He doesn't really want to lift that much. (3:16) He wants to go do whatever.(3:17) He wants to go get high and have wings. (3:19) I understand. (3:20) We're going to have wings later.(3:21) Whatever it is, what it is. (3:23) But just the more I look back on it, and then the more I look at the other behavior, it was just very much dabbling.

Alan Lazaros

(3:32) The mindset was off, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:34) The mindset was off. (3:35) So that's what we're talking about today. (3:36) Because we were talking about that, and I think one of the reasons you and I work so well together is because we have gone to battle pretty much every day for the last nine years.(3:45) That's the reason we've never missed an episode. (3:48) Yeah, for sure. (3:49) That's the reason we've never missed an episode, and we never will.(3:51) That's a big piece of it. (3:53) And I think you're not most likely, if you're out there, you're not going to have a business partner, potentially. (4:00) But your friends and your reference group and your performance partners and the people in your community, you have to want to go to battle.

Alan Lazaros

(4:07) This is going to be a super weird metaphor, but I think it's a really good one. (4:15) Who was Dennis Rodman and Michael Jordan? (4:21) The Last Dance is a docuseries, I guess.(4:27) Okay, I remember watching that going, Michael Jordan must have been so annoyed with Dennis Rodman being such an eff off. (4:36) He was partying in Vegas, and he was with Carmen Electra or whatever, and he was just not focused. (4:45) And it's like, yo, we're the best basketball team on Earth.(4:49) You should come to practice and get your shit together. (4:59) And obviously, Dennis Rodman was really freaking good, so he could kind of get away with that. (5:05) He was one of the best in the game at the time.(5:10) But that must have pissed Michael Jordan off. (5:13) You know, and I honestly, I think that here's what I know. (5:19) If you have big goals, which is what we always have to say, we got to say that if you got big goals, frustration is a huge part of your life.(5:28) Frustration is the inevitable byproduct when someone or something is in the way of your goals. (5:34) Frustration is the achievers emotion. (5:37) If you know someone who's really intense and really focused, like Michael Jordan, he's always frustrated.(5:46) He was always frustrated with himself and his team. (5:48) Always. (5:51) Did you watch The Last Dance?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:52) I did. (5:53) Yeah, but don't you think there's a little piece of him that probably respected how reckless Dennis Rodman was? (5:58) Like, yes, he would just probably just get into a fistfight in the middle of the court.

Alan Lazaros

(6:02) Well, I think there's a place for that. (6:04) I do think Dennis Rodman probably was someone who Michael Jordan did want to go to war with. (6:10) Yeah, which is why it worked.(6:12) But there was definitely times where it was like, you know, what the hell? (6:17) Right. (6:17) Do you remember the part where he was really starting to slide?(6:20) Because for the most part, he was on point.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:22) Well, yeah. (6:23) Wasn't he just like in Vegas and just didn't come back for something?

Alan Lazaros

(6:27) Yeah, didn't show up to practice for several days and no one could find him. (6:31) And Michael Jordan ran into his hotel room and Carmen Electra was there. (6:35) And Michael Jordan was like, what the hell, you know?(6:38) And at the end of the day, like, I'll share this because I think it's important. (6:48) The people you surround yourself with is one of the most important things you can ever decide on. (6:55) And when I look back on my life, I mean, that was where I made all the errors.(7:02) When I look back, it's not that I wasn't focused. (7:05) It's not that I wasn't hardworking. (7:07) It's not that I wasn't smart.(7:08) It's that I surrounded myself with the wrong people. (7:10) I mean, every time. (7:11) I was naive and I surrounded myself with the wrong people.(7:14) That was always the issue. (7:16) And I wasn't courageous enough to call it out. (7:20) That friend, anonymously, that we talked about a few weeks ago, I did shield bump.(7:27) Yeah, I called him out and it felt good. (7:30) And he actually was pretty kind after that, which was nice. (7:34) Things reset.(7:36) But the thing that I want to share with everybody is, would you go to war with you? (7:41) I tell Emilia this all the time. (7:43) I'm so grateful that when I'm building, she is too.(7:50) She has made my life so much better. (7:53) Dude, I used to be in relationships, obviously. (7:57) I had three long-term relationships before Emilia.(7:59) It wasn't even close. (8:01) It wasn't even close. (8:02) Emilia makes my life better.(8:04) We're getting our dream car. (8:06) It's a $100,000 freaking car. (8:08) And I couldn't do this without her.(8:11) At least not yet, right? (8:13) So I researched this. (8:16) The average first home buyer in the U.S. right now is 42 years old. (8:23) And Emilia and I were able to do that. (8:26) We crushed that. (8:28) And I couldn't have done that without her.(8:31) I mean, I could have back in the day if I didn't become an entrepreneur. (8:33) But you know what I'm saying. (8:35) The point is, who you choose to go to war with.(8:44) Matters so much more than people realize.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:46) Like, dude. (8:47) Well, even the label though. (8:48) Like that's the other thing too is because by definition, it's like, all right, you just want somebody who's arrogant and reckless and willing to do it.(8:54) It's like, no, no, no, that's not what we're saying. (8:57) No, no, I want somebody who is courageous, but also measured under pressure. (9:03) Like there's a list of things.

Alan Lazaros

(9:05) Yeah, there's a lot.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:06) There's a lot of things. (9:07) Tara and I talk about it all the time. (9:08) When we moved here, when we moved in here, that was one of the hardest months maybe ever of my life.(9:15) Because we had the other place for an extra month. (9:21) So we had plenty of time to move here, but we didn't plan it right. (9:25) The business was growing.(9:26) She was working a ton. (9:27) So there was times where I would work 6 a.m. until 8 p.m. with you. (9:32) And then I would literally paint until midnight.(9:35) And then I would sleep on the fucking floor in one of the rooms. (9:39) And the next day I would just get up and do the same thing. (9:42) And when we started to unpack everything and get fully moved in, we said the same thing, right?(9:47) I'm so grateful that I'm doing this with you. (9:49) Because this is fucking, this is truly terrible. (9:52) This is fucking absolutely terrible.(9:55) So I just want to make sure that lands. (9:57) And it's not just like, I just want somebody who's reckless and arrogant and going to go smash their head against the wall. (10:03) It's like there is, I want somebody who's going to smash their head against the wall too, to a degree.(10:07) But there's, it's more than just brute force, what we're talking about.

Alan Lazaros

(10:10) What is it? (10:12) Right? (10:12) You want, you want all the skills and subskills of someone who's going to be a successful person.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:17) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(10:17) And, and, yeah, obviously we talk about this every day because it's Next Level University, a little bit better every day. (10:24) But Health, Wealth & Love, the more I do, I have this book list that I created. (10:30) I keep talking about, it's 100 books and, and it's, I'm still curating it.(10:35) But Peak Performance, Success, Goal Achievement, and Leadership. (10:40) 25 books under each of those, the top 25 books under each of those categories. (10:45) And as I'm reading these books and I'm doing Miles for Mindset, I'm forcing myself to listen to audiobooks while running, which is the worst fucking thing ever, but it's good for my brain.(10:56) And I'm just starting to see, like, you know, there's a lot of skills and subskills that need to be stacked for you to be a successful adult. (11:09) Like, I don't know, maybe that's the phase I'm in or the chapter I'm in. (11:14) I'm, I'm, I'm stacking a lot of skills.(11:19) Like, I don't feel like I'm even close to my true potential, but every day I'm like trying to be more focused, more effective priorities, better at speaking, better at coaching. (11:39) More disciplined, self-discipline, self-trust, self-respect, self-worth, self-belief. (11:44) It's you versus you.(11:44) That's why we're talking about this. (11:46) Would you date you? (11:47) If the answer is no, get to work.(11:50) Because you're not going to get someone better than you. (11:53) That's not how the law of attraction work, unless, unless there's a ton of self-worth issues. (11:56) I always say this, and I don't mean 10 in just looks.(12:00) I mean, when a 10 is dating a three, it's because there's a lot of money or a lot of insecurity. (12:05) And I don't just mean looks. (12:06) I mean, in terms of like successful human beings.(12:16) It's, it's... (12:18) When I started dating Emilia, it made perfect sense to me why I was losing before. (12:23) That's my truth.(12:24) Because I was going to war with people who weren't warriors, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:30) You can't win the war without warriors. (12:32) Hmm. (12:34) What the hell was I thinking?(12:35) Is that the simplest thing? (12:36) It's like somebody who's more committed to the cause than they are to themselves, kind of. (12:41) A hundred percent.(12:42) It's kind of, it is a little bit reckless, but that's why like I, Alan and I have been very different in our opinions. (12:48) In the beginning, I think I went like, everybody should be an entrepreneur. (12:51) It's the best.(12:52) Now, I don't agree with that at all anymore. (12:54) I, I think I got there quicker though. (12:56) I think I got there quicker.(12:57) I was like, dude, honestly, I don't, this is not, this ain't it for, for most people. (13:02) Because honestly, like you do, I mean, you aren't first. (13:08) You aren't first.(13:10) So we, like we still to this day, like we get paid last. (13:14) After everything gets paid and then everybody gets paid, Alan and I get paid. (13:19) To this day, right?(13:21) I think that's exactly how it should be. (13:22) That's a really good example though. (13:24) I think that's a really good example, right?(13:26) And I think that, I don't know. (13:29) It's, you know, what's very interesting to me. (13:31) I came across this very, it's cool.(13:35) It's very, it's very good perspective. (13:38) But it's, it's this leadership. (13:40) I wouldn't call him an expert, but he's a, he's a leadership guy.(13:43) And what he, what happens is.

Alan Lazaros

(13:46) I love how careful we are with our words.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:47) Yeah. (13:47) Well, I don't know. (13:48) I don't know him well enough.(13:49) A leadership expert. (13:50) He's a leadership guy. (13:51) People send in screenshots that they have with their bosses.(13:57) And his thing is like, this is fucking crazy that, that this is what this person's putting up with. (14:01) So it'll just start off like, Hey, Alan, uh, I was going over the budget and it seems like things are off. (14:09) Can you hop on a five minute call?(14:10) It's like, yeah, that seems reasonable. (14:12) And then the, the employee message is back like, Hey Kev, I'd love to, but just FYI. (14:17) I know, you know, I'm on PTO because it's my wedding day.(14:20) And the boss is like, just five minutes, quick five. (14:23) Oh jeez. (14:23) Yeah, I mean, it's bad.(14:25) It's bad. (14:25) And then, so I definitely understand that from the employee side. (14:29) And then there's a piece of me that's like, I worked on my wedding day.(14:33) So that, this is the problem. (14:36) But I'm, and I'm not, but the thing is, I'm not expecting anybody else to, right. (14:39) And I don't, I don't expect anybody else to, but that's just interesting.

Alan Lazaros

(14:42) There's a big, there's a big distance between those though. (14:44) Of course. (14:45) Of course.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:45) Yeah. (14:45) But that's what, that's the thing is like, honestly, like, and again, I don't mean this in a negative way. (14:51) If you work a nine to five and you can clock out whenever you want, like you're not really going to battle.(14:56) You're done. (14:57) Like when you're done, you're done. (14:58) You can just turn your phone off and you don't have to answer it.(15:00) So if you are out there and you want to do your own thing and you want to build your own thing, like you are going to battle. (15:07) I, I hope that everyone, okay.

Alan Lazaros

(15:13) How do I say this? (15:15) What level of responsibility are you taking in advance for your own success? (15:19) Because even if you're an employee, you're supposed to be responsible for your own fucking career.(15:23) Just because you have a job doesn't mean you're not responsible for your own future. (15:29) Like, yeah, you clock out, but you better clock out knowing the implications of that. (15:35) Like it's a ladder that you climb.(15:37) It's not a bed. (15:38) Jim Rohn used to say that. (15:39) He's like, it's a ladder.(15:40) You know, the corporate ladder, you climb it. (15:43) It's not a bed. (15:44) I have a, we're hiring someone new and they negotiated.(15:49) Understandable. (15:49) I'm excited. (15:50) And I said, we need a place to go.(15:52) We can't start high and then stay there because I can't go back. (15:56) We got to start low and build. (15:58) I'll give you a raise at the end of the year if it goes well.(15:59) Like, let's roll. (16:00) I don't want, I, it's a ladder. (16:04) It's a ladder.(16:05) I don't want anyone staying where they are. (16:07) Seriously, including us. (16:09) Keep going.(16:10) Right? (16:11) Next level. (16:11) This isn't complacency university.(16:13) This isn't stay in bed university. (16:16) Stay in bed university. (16:17) It's got a ring to it.(16:18) It's called next level university. (16:21) Not current level. (16:23) Enjoy myself university.(16:26) And it's in the title. (16:28) It's in the goddamn title. (16:30) So how do you know if you would date you?(16:34) Ask the question. (16:35) And if your answer isn't hell yeah, then why not? (16:39) And that's okay.(16:40) What do you need to work on? (16:43) Would you go into business with you? (16:46) And if the answer is not hell yeah.(16:48) Okay. (16:48) Why not? (16:50) What would you be?(16:51) Would you be concerned about going into business with you? (16:53) That's a good one.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:54) Stealing all the money.

Alan Lazaros

(16:56) What? (16:56) What?

Kevin Palmieri

(16:59) I was so naive in the beginning that I had no idea. (17:02) So it was like, I probably would have been like, yeah, fuck you. (17:04) I'd go into business with me now.(17:05) I definitely would. (17:06) But in the beginning, I don't know, man. (17:08) I'm glad I snuck in.(17:10) You've never stolen money. (17:11) No, God, no. (17:12) It's the opposite.(17:13) It's like, I'll just, whatever. (17:14) Like, what do you tell me what you need? (17:15) I'll give it to you.(17:16) I would notice. (17:18) Checking the numbers. (17:18) Now, when I was the CFO, you wouldn't baby.

Alan Lazaros

(17:20) Yeah, yeah. (17:22) That's a good point. (17:23) No, that's a good point.(17:24) What was the other one? (17:25) Would you go to the gym with you? (17:27) Best gym partner in the game.(17:28) Emilia, like you and I would crush. (17:30) So you're close.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:30) I mean, it's been a long time since you and I've, I have done it.

Alan Lazaros

(17:33) We would, we would get after him. (17:34) Of course. (17:35) We were something.(17:36) Of course. (17:36) Emilia is a, is an animal, dude.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:38) I believe it. (17:39) I believe it.

Alan Lazaros

(17:40) She, she and I, the alarm went off today. (17:45) We're not leaving until this sets over. (17:47) She's like, she's like pointing at her watch, you know?(17:48) Cause she had a meeting. (17:49) It's like one more set. (17:51) I can't leave.(17:51) I gotta, I gotta get it done. (17:53) Uh, it's, it's good, man. (17:54) She's never, she's never just checking the box, dude.(17:57) Never.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:58) Yeah. (17:58) Well, I think that's, that's what you need. (18:00) If you're out there and you really, really, really, really, really, really want to grow.(18:03) Like I would start with that. (18:06) I would start with that. (18:07) I have some people in my life that are not like, not warriors, you know, and I'm okay.(18:13) It's okay. (18:13) I don't need, I don't need that from them. (18:15) They don't stop me from being a warrior.(18:17) And I think that's an important thing. (18:19) Definitely. (18:20) I saw a clip the other day from someone.(18:22) I'll just leave it fucking anonymous because why not? (18:25) And they were, they were talking about how at one point in their life, it was essentially like, I'm only going to have like a couple of people in my life that are extremely extraordinary. (18:36) And then they said, and again, this, I don't know, hindsight is 20, 20 and or they changed and went in a different direction.(18:41) Like, you know how it goes. (18:43) As long as the person adds something to my life, I'm okay with that. (18:46) It's like, okay, that's an interesting way to look at it.(18:48) You have to add more than you take. (18:49) I think that's, I think that's an interesting way to look at it. (18:52) I think that's an interesting way.(18:53) So I think some people add differently, but for this specifically, it's like, look, I, this is if we're going to battle, it's the scene in the town where he says, Hey, where you can't ask any questions, we're going to go hurt some people. (19:07) Are you in or you're out? (19:09) Um, well, I don't, you know, the scene better than I do, but like, that's what I'm talking about.(19:12) Not hurting people that you don't know. (19:13) I'm not, I'm not saying that, but like just that mentality of like, I know this person's going to do whatever it takes to be successful. (19:20) I know that if I say, Hey, I'm going to be at the gym at six o'clock, they're going to be at the gym at six o'clock.(19:25) I know that they're going to be on the meeting. (19:26) I know that they're going to do the seven. (19:28) No, not for me, baby.

Alan Lazaros

(19:30) You better be there at fucking six o'clock.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:32) I'm joking. (19:33) Better be there at six o'clock. (19:34) Bruce is there before I am.(19:37) Bruce is still crushing. (19:39) Bruce is still crushing.

Alan Lazaros

(19:40) Love it. (19:41) What are you looking for, man? (19:44) What are you looking for in the business owner?(19:46) What are you looking for in the fitness gym partner? (19:49) What are you looking for in the intimate partner? (19:54) Most important thing in each.(19:56) This is going to be really challenging to do because there's so much, I mean, there's so much, right? (20:00) No one buys a home that has just a kitchen. (20:03) You know, you need, we're multi, we're three dimensional human beings.(20:06) Way more than that. (20:07) We're multidimensional. (20:08) Like the episode two or three episodes ago where we did the 12 different sort of archetypes warrior and sage and like, we're all multidimensional.(20:17) But what's the thing that you want in each of those?

Kevin Palmieri

(20:22) Business.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:25) I want you. (20:26) I want you in business for sure. (20:27) So whatever you are.(20:29) I appreciate that. (20:29) Whatever that is.

Alan Lazaros

(20:30) I was hoping for character traits.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:31) I don't mean who. (20:33) Um, just- There's character traits you can work on. (20:35) Just the, it doesn't, we had a conversation yesterday and you were like, dude, I know it sucks.(20:43) It doesn't matter. (20:44) Like that, that's good. (20:45) That's not a bad thing.(20:46) Like that you, you need somebody who's going to push you more than you push yourself. (20:51) That. (20:53) So what would the character, um, somebody who leads by example and somebody who.(21:00) As much as they don't let you make excuses, they don't accept excuses from themselves.

Alan Lazaros

(21:05) That. (21:05) Yeah. (21:05) Nice.(21:06) That. (21:06) I'm not expecting anything of you that I don't also expect of myself.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:09) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(21:10) That. (21:10) And that I think is really important. (21:12) It's a good one.(21:13) That's a good one. (21:13) Leading by example is definitely. (21:16) That's a good one.(21:16) So important to me. (21:17) That's a good one.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:18) Gym. (21:18) I think my biggest pet peeve is people that don't do that. (21:20) I understand.(21:21) The gym's different. (21:22) I don't know, man. (21:22) When it comes to the gym, it's like, if you're ahead of me.(21:24) What does Bruce have that you like? (21:26) He just lets me tell him what to do. (21:28) He's just humble.(21:30) I know that sounds terrible.

Alan Lazaros

(21:31) What does Kev want in a business partner? (21:35) Just let me tell you what to do.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:36) Just let me tell you what to do.

Alan Lazaros

(21:37) It's, it's. (21:38) I'm not your guy then.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:40) It's more like. (21:43) You know how when you try to work out with somebody who everybody, you know, and they know that you know more than them and they still fuck with you and they still.

Alan Lazaros

(21:50) The worst.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:50) I'm all for. (21:51) I'm all for feedback. (21:53) I'm all for you telling me if I'm doing something like I'm all for that.(21:55) I'm all for it. (21:56) But I know more than you do. (22:00) So let me make us have a good workout.

Alan Lazaros

(22:02) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:02) That's all.

Alan Lazaros

(22:03) So let me lead. (22:04) Just be, you know what it is. (22:05) You don't like when people lead when they shouldn't.(22:08) Just like a great leader knows when they shouldn't.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:10) And just like, I don't want to, I don't want to lead if I shouldn't be.

Alan Lazaros

(22:13) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:14) But in that case. (22:16) And he said, Bruce says all the time, he's like, just tell me what to do. (22:20) So just tell me whatever he literally, I said, are you done or are you going to keep going?(22:24) And he said, I'm going to do whatever you do. (22:25) Perfect. (22:26) I don't think it's a coincidence that he's the strongest he's ever been in his 80 fucking years of life.(22:30) I don't think it's a coincidence. (22:32) Really?

Alan Lazaros

(22:33) No, no, no. (22:34) I meant, is he really the strongest he's ever been? (22:36) Yeah, yeah.(22:38) That's wild. (22:38) It is wild. (22:39) Also, it also means he was doing something wrong.(22:41) I was going to say, it makes me question what he was doing in his early thirties. (22:44) Yeah, yeah, for sure. (22:45) That's nor here nor there.(22:45) Yeah. (22:46) Twenties and thirties are probably. (22:47) That's nor here nor there.(22:48) You got to peak at least at 50. (22:50) Now, um, that's good stuff.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:51) What about intimate? (22:52) Intimate. (22:54) The thing that I've always really, I won't even say I've always really, because back in the day, I thought this is what I wanted.(23:02) I've mentioned this before. (23:03) I dated someone in the past where just showing up was enough. (23:07) Just showing up was enough.(23:09) I was like, this is fucking awesome. (23:10) This is great. (23:11) It's going to be awesome.(23:11) I'm just going to be able to show up and get by by the bare minimum. (23:14) That's going to be great. (23:15) And then eventually I just started to lose self-respect for that.(23:18) I love the fact that no matter how successful I get, no matter how many clients I get, no matter how lean I get and in shape I get, my wife has incredibly high standards for me. (23:30) I love that. (23:31) It doesn't matter.(23:32) Those are not, those are great, but that's not, number one, that's not why she's with me. (23:36) And number two, that doesn't mean I get to be less of a good husband. (23:39) So somebody that's going to make sure I don't ever lose sight of being a good man first, over everything first and over everything.(23:50) That's all at the end of the day. (23:52) Like, that's my thing. (23:52) I want to be a good man more than anything.

Alan Lazaros

(23:58) And she's holding herself to that standard as well. (24:02) Very high standard.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:03) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(24:04) Yeah. (24:06) And as young men, we thought we wanted easy.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:09) I think most...

Alan Lazaros

(24:09) Not easy in that way necessarily.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:11) No, I think most men are taught that.

Alan Lazaros

(24:14) That's been interesting because her standards for herself are so high and she... (24:22) I mean, yeah, her standards for who she's with is like...

Kevin Palmieri

(24:26) I think it should be. (24:27) Unreasonable. (24:28) I think it's good.(24:29) Yeah. (24:29) I think that's a good thing. (24:30) If you're, excuse me, if you're a young man out there and you want to be with somebody because it's easy to be with them, like, I don't think that's going to work.(24:39) Yeah. (24:39) I don't think that's going to work. (24:40) I don't think that's the goal.(24:42) Oh, you want a job because it's easy? (24:43) Okay. (24:44) Okay.(24:45) You want to work out because it's easy? (24:47) Okay. (24:48) Well, you're not going to get the results you want.

Alan Lazaros

(24:50) I love it, man. (24:50) You're not afraid to be disliked anymore.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:52) That's one of the... (24:53) This is awesome.

Alan Lazaros

(24:53) Check that box, baby. (24:54) This is awesome. (24:55) Check that box, baby.(24:55) This is what I've always wanted, man. (24:57) Took us 2,500 episodes. (24:59) This is great.(25:00) All right. (25:00) What are your three? (25:01) So we can wrap this up.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:03) Ah, for F sake. (25:06) Man, keep us on a strict schedule. (25:08) Somebody's got to produce this fucking show, you know?(25:10) You know what I mean? (25:11) I know you just get to show up and just talk for a living, but... (25:16) Somebody's going to make sure the wheels don't fall off.(25:17) Coach for a living. (25:18) No, sorry.

Alan Lazaros

(25:23) So the first one, fitness. (25:24) What do I want in the gym? (25:29) Someone tapped.(25:32) Straight up focus. (25:33) No, it is. (25:33) I'll be...(25:34) I'm being playful. (25:35) Focus. (25:37) You cannot fucking be timid and you need to stay focused.(25:42) Like, I do this to Emilia. (25:43) You can't see what I'm doing because unless you're on YouTube. (25:46) So we have hand signals for everything.(25:48) AirPods are in. (25:50) Optimize for flow and focus. (25:52) You do not lose focus.(25:54) Never. (25:55) You do not lose focus. (25:57) No...(25:58) Like, she's on her phone because she does her data on FitBot. (26:01) But no, she never loses focus. (26:04) And I don't want to say never.(26:05) 99% of the time. (26:07) Well, I saw her lose focus one time. (26:08) You know, it's like...(26:09) I'm just talking. (26:11) It doesn't have to be... (26:13) It's like, I thought you said you didn't want to be full of shit, Alan.(26:16) You know? (26:16) Okay, 99% of the time. (26:18) You know?(26:19) Focus is number one for sure for a gym partner. (26:22) Stay focused. (26:23) And that guy you were talking about used to piss me off, man.(26:26) Oh, it's rough. (26:26) Going to the gym with him sucked. (26:27) Yeah, it was rough.(26:28) Okay, number two. (26:31) Business. (26:32) Yeah, I'm going to piggyback on what you said, which is someone who knows when they shouldn't lead.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:44) It's a good way to go out of business.

Alan Lazaros

(26:46) I did not understand how important that was, because in hindsight, I was so naive. (26:56) God, so naive. (26:58) That person shouldn't have been leading.(27:02) The leader is supposed to be the one with the highest awareness, the most experience, and the most expertise in that given area. (27:12) And I would let people lead that definitely shouldn't have. (27:17) And you were trying to tell me like, dude, you should really be the CFO.(27:25) Chief Financial Officer. (27:27) Didn't you go to grad school? (27:28) Yeah, I definitely should have led.(27:31) My bad. (27:33) But you knew not to lead, which I think is really, really valuable, which really comes down to humility. (27:39) That's what it is.(27:40) It's just humility of knowing when you don't know and being willing to own that. (27:45) And I think that takes a lot of courage too, because most people want to be seen as better than they are.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:49) And still do the best you can. (27:51) That's the thing is, I think you can either punt it and say like, I can't do this. (27:55) Or you can say like, hey, just so you know, I'm not qualified for this.(27:57) I'm going to try to re-qualify myself every day for this, but I shouldn't be doing this, just so you know. (28:02) I shouldn't be building the plan. (28:03) When the ship sinks, I want you to know it's all right.(28:06) It's going to be your fault. (28:07) You know, when I crashed us into an iceberg, like I told you, I don't know how to drive this thing. (28:10) So that's on you at some point.(28:13) Yeah, it really was. (28:14) We almost went out of business.

Alan Lazaros

(28:15) It's on me and you. (28:17) All right, number three.

Alan Lazaros

(28:18) It wasn't because of that.

Alan Lazaros

(28:21) It was definitely part of it, brother. (28:23) Number three. (28:25) Intimate partner?

Kevin Palmieri

(28:26) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(28:33) It's got to be someone who wants to reach their full potential. (28:39) Yeah. (28:40) Uh, and honestly, I think that's probably the through line for all three for me.(28:45) I've never met someone more obsessed with growth than Emilia Smith. (28:49) She said this the other night, because we have someone, someone who is a client of hers is doing a coaching session with me for career dev. (28:57) We're going to do his resume.(28:59) And he, we've had a lot of people in the past. (29:03) A lot of people we've, yeah, we've had a lot of people in the past have gotten swept up by Evolve Ventures, the we and Next Level University. (29:11) Like you just get into this world and some people do it way too quick.(29:16) Amy Lennius is one of the survivors of that. (29:18) Amy, I know you're listening. (29:19) She went from like zero to hero so fast in this company.(29:23) And like this relationship talks and all that kind of stuff. (29:26) Like her and Chris were the OG conscious couple. (29:30) So anyways, this guy, I'll keep anonymous, basically came to her and said, this is like a lot.(29:37) You know, I mean, I'm, I found myself at a relationship talks event. (29:40) I don't even have a partner. (29:41) Like, I'm like, what the hell am I doing here?(29:43) You know? (29:43) And she said, yeah, you can get caught up in the, in the tornado very quickly. (29:47) And what's my point of that?(29:54) I, Emilia said this last night. (29:56) She said, we are obsessed with growth more than I've, I ever could have imagined. (30:03) Because quite frankly, this last couple of years, it's become very evident that I care about growth more than other people.(30:10) Like way more actually than the statistical norm. (30:13) It's not even close. (30:15) And obviously I built my whole life on it.(30:16) And so did she, which is really why we work quite frankly. (30:20) Goals and growth is, is our paradigm. (30:22) We don't talk about paradigms anymore, but I know we got to get out of here.(30:25) Some people have a family paradigm. (30:27) Some people have a success paradigm. (30:29) Some people have a wealth paradigm.(30:31) Some people have a fitness paradigm or health paradigm. (30:36) My paradigm, Emilia and I's paradigm is growth and goals. (30:41) And really mission, like change the world, be the change you wish to see in the world.(30:45) So my answer to who I want to be with is a person who has a, has a, not even a want to reach their full potential, but she has to. (30:54) She has to. (30:56) And it's the best.(30:57) And, and sometimes it's very hard on us, but I wouldn't want it any other way. (31:03) Cause I've had the opposite and that was fucking terrible. (31:07) Honestly, not good.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:09) Yeah. (31:10) So you can ask yourself those questions for sure. (31:12) If you're out there.(31:13) And again, this, the whole episode started with, would you want to go to battle with yourself? (31:16) Like what would you want if you were going to go try to scale a tall mountain that you might die on? (31:22) Again, it's pretty heavy, but that, I think that's like those questions, I think are important.(31:27) And I always love the, would you want to go to the gym with yourself? (31:29) Would you want to date yourself? (31:30) Would you want to marry yourself?(31:31) Would you want to share money with yourself? (31:33) Like all of that. (31:34) I love those questions.(31:35) I think those questions are the best.

Alan Lazaros

(31:37) Yeah. (31:37) Trust is underneath all that too. (31:39) We didn't get to trust, but like trust is a foundational for all of those.(31:44) Like, can you trust this other person with your feelings, with your heart, with your money, with the weight, your loved ones.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:52) What'd you say? (31:52) With the weight, the gym. (31:53) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(31:54) Yeah, exactly.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:55) Like that's, again, that's an example.

Alan Lazaros

(31:57) No, but I think that that's a big one. (32:00) It's a great conversation, man. (32:01) Great questions.(32:02) Little hyper-conscious episode here on a Sunday. (32:05) Did you see the post I did of nine years ago? (32:07) I did.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:08) Yeah. (32:09) You showed me out, showed me out back then. (32:11) You know, appreciate it.

Alan Lazaros

(32:12) I was. (32:12) Bringing the kid up. (32:13) I just loved change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live.(32:17) That's exactly it. (32:18) Well, you know, we were onto something early on.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:21) Change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live. (32:24) And this was pre-chat GPT. (32:25) This was, that was straight from the dome.(32:27) There was no chat GPT in 2017. (32:29) That was the kid. (32:30) Okay.(32:31) It's good stuff. (32:31) That was the fucking kid.

Alan Lazaros

(32:32) It makes sense why I was drawn to that, dude. (32:33) It makes perfect sense. (32:34) It's exactly what you do.(32:35) It's exactly it.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:38) In that order. (32:39) I did. (32:39) A hundred percent.(32:40) A hundred percent. (32:40) Yeah, there you go. (32:42) Hyper-conscious, man.(32:42) Hyper-conscious, baby. (32:43) If you want to be more hyper-conscious, if you want to be the type of person you would want to go to battle with, one of the best ways to do it is have a coach you would want to go to battle with. (32:50) Alan is your guy for that.(32:51) Reach out to Alan. (32:52) And Next Level Fitness Accountability Group. (32:54) Everybody is consistent in the Next Level Fitness Accountability Group.(32:57) I'm not saying that to make you nervous. (32:59) I am saying that because it's a really good place to bring up your consistency and be around other people that you probably want to go to the gym with. (33:05) I think that's a great parallel for what we were talking about today.(33:09) So reach out to Alan or myself. (33:10) We'll let you in. (33:10) It's totally free.(33:11) It's in WhatsApp. (33:12) We'd love to have you. (33:13) A lot of people posting in there every single day.(33:15) As always, we love you. (33:16) We appreciate you. (33:17) Grateful for each and every one of you.(33:18) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we'll be here every single day to help you get there. (33:24) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential. (33:27) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University.(33:31) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(33:34) We mean it when we say family. (33:36) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (33:39) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(33:43) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.