You Don’t Get Evidence AND Comfort (2507)

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Growth starts before you feel ready. In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan clarify why waiting for confidence, comfort, or proof can keep you stuck at the same level. Real personal growth requires action before certainty, followed by honest reflection and course correction. Kevin shares what it felt like to manage a demanding travel day that would have overwhelmed an earlier version of himself. Alan explains how clients often need to leave the safety of planning and gain real-world feedback through action.

They also discuss experiential learning, delayed gratification, restraint, and the risk of trying to skip the skills required to sustain success. This episode is about building capability through calculated discomfort, accepting small failures, and earning the evidence that creates lasting confidence.

Digital Asset:
Micro Failure For Macro Success (Doom Loop Vs. Success Loop) - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OiusvHeLk_Ighi3LIqTTZeW9jyIuMcMs/view?usp=drive_link

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Show notes:
(2:32) Building capability under real pressure
(5:21) You must act before you're ready
(9:13) Theory Vs. Experiential learning
(13:50) Why action beats endless planning
(18:06) Success creates harder challenges
(21:01) The danger of skipping levels
(23:00) Micro failure for macro success
(27:22) Restraint protects long-term progress
(31:52) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Seeing is believing is a very common thing that you hear and unfortunately if you take that as advice for your growth You are going to be stuck forever Seeing is not believing you have to believe in something in advance to invest in it and to manifest it Welcome to Next Level University. (0:19) I'm your host Kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host Alan Lazaros At NLU we believe in a heart driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love Health and wealth. (0:37) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief self-worth, self-awareness relationships, boundaries Consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:53) Self-improvement in your pocket every day from anywhere Completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:59) Welcome to Next Level University Next Level Nation, today for episode number, let me pull this up here 2507 you don't get evidence and comfort at the same time Alan wanted to do this episode, but it is very appropriate that we're doing this because again It's a travel day for me, and I'm not saying this like for the hustle porn piece. (1:24) I'm saying this more for I actually Had like legitimate anxiety last night before I went to bed for the first time in a while I could tell. (1:35) Where like my, is that when you texted me?(1:39) Probably Yeah, I was freaking out a little bit. (1:42) Panic move Well, I I want to be I want to be proactive and try to make sure we're you know as ahead of schedule as we can be and I'm there's so many moving pieces and I feel wildly out of control of my schedule and It's mayhem. (1:55) So I woke up at 130.(1:56) I got to the airport at 3 I was literally the first person through TSA like they opened it and I walked I was the first person through my flight was at 6 Sorry, 512. (2:09) I boarded we took off at 530. (2:10) I got into Texas at 9 o'clock or something Got my rental went right to my client's place got there at 10 o'clock on the button recorded with her until Now I'm 15 minutes late to record I've been batching whatsapp all day it's fucking mayhem and Alan said, well, what's the point?(2:32) What's the lesson? (2:33) What's the the value for the audience? (2:34) And I said I Actually feel like wildly capable of what I'm doing, but I didn't Along the entire way and I still kind of don't at the same time, but somehow I'm surviving So I am very much outside my comfort zone more so than I have been in a very very very long time But I am getting a lot of evidence that I can do a lot of things Decently.(2:59) Well, I guess whatever you set your mind to no. (3:02) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(3:02) No, I wish I wish it was that You could do anything you set your mind to I wish except for most stuff Yeah, no, I'm kidding. (3:10) You can do a lot that you set your mind to I think that most people it's just way less cool (3:15) when you say it that way I

Kevin Palmieri

(3:17) mean (3:19) Yeah, I think they're you know, there's nuance right it's terrible I'm bumper sticker self-improvement (3:24) I'm freaking out anything you set your mind to I'm freaking out and like I actually slept on the plane (3:28) Like there's certain things that are getting way more comfortable and there's other things that are getting way more uncomfortable (3:33) And I don't think that's a coincidence. (3:35) So real quick.

Alan Lazaros

(3:36) Yeah, please you eight years ago Try to do the same trip with the same amount of responsibility dead Dead kids dead No questions, oh the truth is you would have sabotaged a shitload of it No, I would have tried it, but I probably you obviously wouldn't have died.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:55) Let's go practical I would have happened panic attacks just like it last time When I tell you like dude, I get out of the rental car so you could only valet at this hotel There's no other way to do it $65 to valet the car. (4:08) There's nothing else you can do you need that or parked on the street like park on the lawn pretty much and I valet and The guy comes up to me, okay, what's happening man? (4:18) I said, dude, I have no fucking clue.(4:19) I have no idea what's happening What's happening with you and he starts laughing. (4:23) He's like, what do you mean? (4:23) And I was like, oh, it's just been a long day I get out.(4:25) I drop my ticket. (4:26) My laptop bags wide open. (4:28) I drop my Both of my I drop my sunglasses and my regular glasses.(4:33) I'm walking into the hotel. (4:35) He's like, hey, where's the key man? (4:36) I said, I don't know.(4:36) I think it's a cup holder. (4:37) I have no idea where it is, man I don't I don't know. (4:39) I couldn't I don't know.(4:40) I have no idea who's in the cup holder. (4:42) It's just fucking mayhem out here Alan heard me peeing because I was I set this all up and I went pee and Alan hurting me I found out the reason why that is is because my input levels were all the way up Well, and I could hear everything I can hear a pin drop in there. (4:57) So but yeah enough about me In the in the past for sure anxiety for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(5:02) Yes, and and so one of the things that I hope comes to light here already is You have Evolved and adapted and grown and changed and developed skills for eight years eight year ago Kev could not have done this right?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:21) No, definitely.

Alan Lazaros

(5:21) Okay, not okay Why because you weren't ready? (5:26) So this is the problem with success. (5:27) You have to do it before you're ready and then fall on your face to get ready and and I Had you reading peak?(5:36) I'm reading peak. (5:37) We also so we just finished peak in (5:40) Book club and we're now reading the talent code by Daniel Coyle and the talent code is peak 2.0 kind of and (5:50) It keeps hammering this point of deliberate practice and and the talent code is more about talent hotbeds of (5:57) when you're around people where failing forward is the mindset and like struggling is the mindset and (6:04) It's okay to fail and be seen as a failure and lose in the short term (6:10) you you look like a loser quite frankly, which is sucks, but long term you end up winning because you develop more myelin and myelin is (6:16) the (6:18) the insulation around neurons and the best way to describe this is (6:21) If you want to develop a really sophisticated skill, like for example doing a podcast on a whim when I have a coaching call in (6:27) 27 minutes and you have other things to do and then we're gonna record again (6:33) The picture two people running full speed down a hallway and they have to meet at the exact moment to get through the door (6:39) That's the way they describe (6:40) Myelin is (6:43) If you have played baseball and I haven't I'm gonna be worse at throwing the ball (6:48) Catching the ball and throwing the ball because my synopsis don't have enough myelin wrapped around them in that specific skill set (6:54) We have the same muscle similar not same but similar muscle, but it's the neurons firing (6:58) So in order to develop a skill, it's it's literally scientifically proven that develop us to develop a skill (7:04) you have to set a goal that's beyond your current capabilities and then (7:08) suck until and (7:11) I just think that that one basic thing

Kevin Palmieri

(7:15) Is so missed in all of this talk (7:17) Well, we talked we did an episode on that recently for sure in like I don't feel like I'm doing bad (7:23) I just don't feel I'm just very much (7:29) Right outside your current capability. (7:31) It's like yeah, it's like I Feel like I'm walking on a very very very thin beam We're like I can do it, but I have to stay extremely focused and if I take my eye off the ball for a second Bad things could happen. (7:43) I feel very much We had some mentors back in the day where they would go from like a coaching call to in the car To a plane to a speech to something again.(7:53) It's not that degree. (7:54) But like it feels I mean, that's this is the most From one thing to another thing to another thing and like just mayhem in between that I've done probably ever Did you use it because because whenever I saw that I always thought cool.

Alan Lazaros

(8:07) I thought it was a feat I still do I still think it was a feat I mean it is a feat but did you used to think that they were different than you?

Kevin Palmieri

(8:14) Yeah, for sure. (8:15) And now you're like doing it Not I still don't think I'm doing it to the degree.

Alan Lazaros

(8:20) They were you remember remember when we were on The phone a coaching session with David Meltzer and he was in an uber heading to YouTube Yes, and he like flipped out on the uber driver for going the wrong way again behind the scenes is different squad, but That's who you're talking about, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(8:38) It's just he would go from thing to thing to thing like Evans camera go him and Evan like Evan That's that's the closest we've seen like behind the scenes of what their days actually look like now You believe you can get there. (8:48) I definitely believe I can get there But I still you know, I want to stay humble in the fact that you know, I mean, yeah today was a long day But I don't know. (8:56) Is it really in the grand scheme of things?(8:58) I don't know Cool. (9:00) I don't know and I feel pretty good like all things considered I got four hours of sleep and I've been up since 130 and it's whatever. (9:07) I don't even know what time it is Now again, we're gonna work on Kevin's longevity because this is not good.(9:11) But but I feel good.

Alan Lazaros

(9:13) I feel I feel sharp I haven't eaten anything all day The reason this came up is health wealth and love and one of my clients peak performance coaching She is lonely and I said you got to start getting in the ring get in the arena. (9:28) I Mean, of course, you're lonely. (9:29) All you do is fucking grind, which I love great and she's like, well This seems counterproductive to my financial goals.(9:35) I said it is Of course it is you can go to paint night and pay for it. (9:39) Not only waste time, but also money right terrible (9:42) so she went and it was awful and she messaged me and (9:45) But she got evidence she wouldn't have gotten and (9:49) so she came back from that actually with a (9:51) more accurate understanding of her value because she realizes that she's become a peak performer and that other people aren't and (9:59) The point of this episode is can't believe I just said, um filler words the point of this episode is (10:06) You have to do something that is outside your comfort zone in order to get experiential (10:14) Learning and I think experiential learning is different than (10:18) Just study. (10:19) I know that it is. (10:20) It's it's theory and practice and this is why lab is so important You know, I was big very good at theory Science and all that and math but then practice practice is actually applying it, you know Learning geometry and then building a house two different things You need both you need both and I think everyone's cloud and clouds and dirt.(10:39) I think Some people I'm thinking of someone I know you're listening brother more clouds I said dude dirt dirt dirt Like get your fucking hands dirty. (10:48) You can't just theorize for the rest of your life. (10:50) Your ideas are great.(10:50) Congratulations go implement You were the opposite. (10:53) You were all implement but like didn't know the theory you didn't know the cognitive biases I mean, you can't be successful you can but it's hard to be successful Not by accident without knowing the cognitive biases If you don't know the cognitive biases you are bias The only way to not be bias is to know them and then override them constantly oh My god another um, what do you what in the hell?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:16) What do you think's easier? (11:17) Do you think it's I think we've had this conversation before I? (11:21) Would rather start off as an implementer with no awareness Yeah But again, I'm biased probably I think I thought I was clouds, but I don't know anymore I kind of felt forward a lot man.

Alan Lazaros

(11:35) Yeah, I think you're I was so willing to look like a loser I was I actually think I Don't know if that was a good. (11:42) I know it was a good thing long-term for my skill development for sure we haven't talked about this on the show and I Think we should are willing my willingness to look like a loser was the highest I've ever seen. (11:57) I Like got stomped on stage.(11:59) I got laughed off stage. (12:01) I I I've never actually seen and I didn't by the way in hindsight I actually realized how detrimental that was like you do need to work on looking successful depending on what you're doing I didn't I was over-the-top with that. (12:13) I didn't realize My point of this is failing forward was always in my bones, dude, for sure So I don't I I always had both so I fucking don't know with clients, what do you My dirty is more important dirt's more important just as a starter as a start.(12:32) No as forever. (12:33) I'll be like So then but of course, they're my clients so I'm giving them clouds so you see I mean This is gonna be very challenging to not come off like a like a dickhead. (12:46) I Have the clouds so you don't I can't give you dirt though.(12:50) If you can't take action, there's nothing I can do for you I can teach you dating game. (12:53) You hear Tucker right now. (12:54) Oh, yeah, Tucker's a ball.(12:55) That's having a I Don't know what's going on with him. (13:00) So I I can give people and reverse engineer the exact blueprint to get to your goals and and There's few very few arenas that I don't feel competent in that I can at least give you a strategy that if you implement it we can iterate upon at very least There's very I broke down in book club One of our book clubbers. (13:21) She might be listening as well is passionate about coffee (13:25) And I was like, well, there's a lot you can do in coffee and I broke down the entire from like (13:29) Growing it (13:30) to it being at a Dunkin Donuts or a Starbucks or whatever and like every single part of the supply chain in between and (13:37) there was a moment where it was like, oh (13:42) I (13:42) Didn't it's like how do you know that every business is kind of the same?(13:50) Like every industry has nuance but the fundamentals are the same right there are no new Fundamentals. (13:57) So once you understand the fundamentals you can give the clouds and then yeah dirt is more important That's my long answer dirt by far hands down because especially today when AI and Google Like maybe there was a time in the past where knowledge mattered more right now. (14:12) It's definitely dirt for sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:14) Okay second question Let's try to flip it on its head. (14:17) Is there any there definitely are there are definitely scenarios where you can get evidence and comfort because the Evidence you're getting gives you comfort. (14:26) That's something you didn't believe was possible.(14:27) It was possible. (14:29) What a way What do you mean like a relationship if you? (14:34) You and Emilia is a good example I'm sure when you started to get evidence with Emilia you got comfort that you weren't to be alone forever Definitely, so I think that but that's a very unique case.

Alan Lazaros

(14:43) I don't I had to get outside my comfort zone by Reaching out to her.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:48) Yeah, but I feel like the more you get evidence the more comfort you get In a way, which is the paradox?

Alan Lazaros

(14:53) Yeah, right outside your comfort zone. (14:55) Well, here's what happens you get outside your comfort zone (14:57) And then you inevitably become more capable through failing forward which the capabilities makes you more comfortable at that level

Kevin Palmieri

(15:06) Yeah, I'm focused on staying extremely humble because I had you know, I'll have like it's like I could do anything (15:13) Kev brother (15:14) Congrats, like you did, you know, you did a hard day amazing work man (15:18) Airport like that's you know, people do that every day.

Alan Lazaros

(15:20) It's good stuff man, and you are doing what you At one point didn't believe you could do So, how could that not you have to be careful with that get into your head for sure I think the quickest way to get humble is The weight the gym. (15:36) I'm going because I will blow my shit right out if I'm cocky. (15:39) I I've seen me do it, dude.(15:41) I I Need that Desperately because I'll get injured and there's nothing that humbles me more than getting injured. (15:49) It's just like you again Seriously, how many times you gonna do this? (15:54) Now obviously I'm trying to find the line and you know stretch the rubber band and not snap it But I think most people are under stretching it.(15:59) I over stretch it, of course And I tell all my clients listen We're gonna over stretch it. (16:05) We're gonna fucking stretch it always 24-7-365 that's why you're here. (16:11) But you know, it's possible this thing snaps, but don't worry.(16:15) We can glue that shit back together For the most part and again, I'm careful with mental health now I used to be a little more reckless with it. (16:24) I didn't understand but Yeah, you gotta stretch it and here's the other thing too. (16:29) Congratulations.(16:30) You're awesome. (16:30) Good for you (16:31) Who gives a shit go do better man, baby like brother (16:35) The only reason you cut here is because you were stretching (16:37) Well, so now you're gonna stop stretching and then in 10 years, you're gonna be exactly where you are now

Kevin Palmieri

(16:41) like well, the other the other issue too is like (16:45) Now everything else that used to be a stretch is less of a stretch (16:47) So you have to make the game harder have to make the game harder.(16:51) Yeah, which it will get harder the moment You're more successful Yeah, it's all it all makes a lot more sense than it used to but it also makes way less sense all of it It always like at the same time. (17:00) It's like this makes a lot of sense, but it also doesn't make any sense at all I have a Question for you.

Alan Lazaros

(17:06) Do we have time? (17:07) Yeah. (17:07) Yeah.(17:08) What time do you 530? (17:09) Yeah, sorry 636 36 30 so Member remember when we Used who was it lead singer of Linkin Park cook is like Chester Bennington. (17:23) Okay, and (17:25) you and I in the hyper conscious days were always (17:29) fascinated not in a good way (17:31) Curious curious is a better word as to why (17:35) Someone who has obviously achieved so many of their dreams would take their own life (17:40) And obviously there's mental health issues, of course, but one of the things that you articulated back then I now understand (17:48) You said it makes sense (17:51) because they got further than they'd ever get what I now understand is (17:56) That if you did go viral on any level or you did like pop off on any level (18:03) Your life actually gets harder.(18:06) And if your life got harder if you're if your success, so this is my current thesis Success makes life harder not easier. (18:14) It makes it easier in certain ways I want to make that clear like not having money very hard now. (18:19) I have money, but that's my life is harder in every other way Okay But my capabilities and awareness are far greater than my current level of success far greater So I'm not outside my like macro comfort zone is what I'll call this I'm not making it farther than I was supposed to make it Based on perception or fame or whatever if anything, I think it's actually under that's fine.(18:42) I'm not saying poor me I'm just saying that's the truth. (18:45) I haven't gotten farther than I know how to get that's for fucking sure Okay, if someone does get farther than they know how to get how do they keep it?

Kevin Palmieri

(18:53) And how do they handle it I Number one you have to admit that like you're not I don't know I think people have a weird thing about like oh I don't want to admit that I'm not capable because that doesn't like I'm I'm not giving myself credit. (19:06) It's like I Don't know. (19:08) I think that's humble.(19:09) I think it's important to have humility to say like hey I'm way outside my comfort zone and I don't know how to maintain this if I had to do what I'm doing today for a week. (19:18) There's no chance I Have to do it for two days. (19:21) So why don't people say that?

Alan Lazaros

(19:23) Because I don't think it's cool. (19:25) It doesn't seem cool When I when I first went to WPI, I remember there was a short time where I was Jeffed. (19:33) I Was like, oh Okay, Helen.(19:36) You didn't have to study that hard in high school.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:38) You are jazzed. (19:39) I think the reputation Outweighs the skills. (19:43) Yeah, and everybody thinks you're something and you feel like a fraud inside and you're terrified that people are gonna find out That you're not as you don't think you're as good as people think you are Or you don't feel as good about yourself as other people.

Alan Lazaros

(19:55) You're actually not I mean you got a figure like maybe you're actually not And then there's the holistic thing too because yeah Yeah, let's say what's something where my your talent took you to a place your your your character can't sustain I mean early in finance. (20:08) I I had 160 grand in a portfolio when I was 22. (20:11) I mean I I could handle it but but There was definitely some When I started making so much money, there was definitely some like I'm making more than my character, you know what I mean?(20:25) Yeah, but then again I did save a lot and stuff But I would I would definitely, you know pay for everyone's drinks and throw huge parties and different stuff like that. (20:33) So I Don't know if that's a great example, but I remember the best example I have is going from high school to college I went from a questionable high school To like one of the best technical colleges on earth and I went oh Okay, a little bit different here different standard. (20:52) This is a different standard.(20:53) I can't just party and sleep in class I have to like try here What's the I guess what's the wrap-up?

Kevin Palmieri

(21:01) What's the biggest takeaway? (21:02) I'll give mine. (21:03) I think It really is it's like if you're waiting If you're at a level 7 right now No, you can't really start there.(21:12) If you're at a level 1 and you want to get to a level 5 you can't You know expect to get level 2 You can't skip 2 3 4 Yeah, because if you do you'll lose it It won't last anyway, isn't that so ironic? (21:27) Isn't that what everyone wants to do skip levels? (21:30) I wonder if and again, I don't know when I say it's set up that way I don't mean it like that.(21:33) But like I think that's why it's set up that way because you If you can't go out and earn it What are the chances you're gonna be able to hold on to it if somebody gives it to you You just don't have the skills. (21:46) I know same if you gave me 50 million dollars right now Shit would be terrible What do you mean? (21:54) You got it?(21:54) You got to explain that I would go I would spend 10 million dollars immediately Still like even Kevin who's dialed in financially brother Brother I'd be at the I'd be at the Ferrari dealership tomorrow. (22:08) You've seriously 100% dude I wouldn't change almost anything. (22:11) Yeah, but you're ready for it.(22:15) I would be I would do a few things sooner Tomorrow now seriously when I was 20, I would have spent all of it. (22:23) Yeah, that's I'd spend I'd spend a few million I wouldn't spend I'd spend a few million and I put 40 million in a fucking account somewhere and right, right And I think yeah, but that's a good point But I'm not that that's the truth is I'm not if you give me a check for 50 million dollars things with nothing I won't say that's why you don't have it. (22:39) I know it's actually no.(22:40) Yeah, I am ready.

Alan Lazaros

(22:41) Actually I've decided Yeah, yeah, I've decided I'm ready already. (22:45) That is funny man. (22:46) That's really fun.(22:48) I We gotta go. (22:49) I know We actually don't We're good.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:53) Yeah, I don't know the time is weird. (22:54) I'm very off on usually more on it.

Alan Lazaros

(22:57) It's all good No, we don't have to go yet. (22:58) Let's let's talk about stuff. (22:59) Let's philosophize.(23:00) Yeah, sure If you're on level one prepare for level two now 100% do something at level two. (23:09) That's big enough to matter small enough to like not get injured Not get permanently injured. (23:16) I think you got a risk a tweak you do, you know, you got a risk of rejection you got a risk and here's the thing she was sad and It's like, of course and then I said, what are three lessons from it What are three takeaways you wouldn't have like really try what are three takeaways you wouldn't have had if you didn't go she came up With them.(23:36) It's like perfect. (23:37) I said this to micro failure for macro success. (23:42) I Want to throw up the digital asset on the left Left listeners left if you're on YouTube the doom loop It is don't believe in it don't try so you don't fail Can't fail if you don't try so you don't get any pain.(24:02) No pain means no contemplation No contemplation means no no new distinctions. (24:08) No new distinctions means no better choices No better choices means lower long-term results, and this is another good example I was the first one of all my friends to say I have a drinking problem and I had a less drinking problem than half of them. (24:26) If not more than half of them.(24:27) Well, I think that's what the difference is. (24:29) I'm Gonna work on it And and why did I admit it and they didn't I had people say you don't have a drinking problem and they're all defensive Because well if I do then you definitely do right so I get it. (24:42) Listen, this is about me.(24:44) Not you. (24:44) It's okay Live your life but my standards for myself rose and When that happens, there's a there's a pain now all of a sudden what used to be? (24:56) Okay isn't anymore and And that pain creates contemplation.(25:00) So the success loop is on the other side, which is you believe in yourself? (25:06) You try you fail Because every time you try you fail at something no speech goes perfectly No podcast episode goes perfectly I said, um twice on this now three times one of them was on purpose and Then you get embarrassment and pain and failure and sadness and then you flip that shit and you go. (25:28) Okay, what did I do wrong there?(25:30) What could I have done better? (25:31) What was good? (25:32) What was bad?(25:33) What was ugly and then you get new distinctions? (25:36) It's like oh, okay, that's why and then make better choices and then you get more long-term success (25:41) So one of them is called the doom loop is micro success looking good now at the expense of your future (25:49) You don't have to fail if you don't try that's the doom loop the success loop is you are about to get (25:57) Massive pain and failure (26:00) And a bunch of new distinctions and skills (26:03) So you get micro failure for macro success one of the best concepts I've ever created (26:09) Which is micro failure for macro success. (26:12) We did that for years man.(26:13) I was just doing group coaching for tomorrow And I was looking through all our logos And it's like whoa, we failed forward a lot and we still are it's just different Failing forward better than before.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:29) Well, and I don't maybe it doesn't look as much of a failure publicly you know like But then it will When we go back and look at it five years from today, it'll look like a massive failure It's weird the whole thing's fucking strange. (26:43) It really is It's really really strange. (26:46) I think one of the keys And again, you've been saying this for a long time, but I don't I don't think I ever thought of it this way We talked about delaying gratification.(26:55) Mm-hmm. (26:57) I Like I lost the fucking word man. (26:59) My brain is turning off right now.(27:00) Hold on.

Alan Lazaros

(27:02) There's the micro failure.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:03) Yes Success.

Alan Lazaros

(27:05) What's the lesson go to sleep?

Kevin Palmieri

(27:07) It's to be You have to have like you have to have something but you know, you should hang on to it Whatever.

Alan Lazaros

(27:14) I can't think of the word so delayed gratification is Pay now play later What are you saying?

Kevin Palmieri

(27:22) I'm saying the same thing except. (27:25) Oh, you have to show restraint. (27:27) I Think one of the master skills at getting good at anything is showing restraint you show restraint.(27:33) No one teaches that That's I don't think I think if I best in the game, I hammer Doritos. (27:38) She won't do it. (27:38) It's amazing (27:39) But even that example like I understand that but just as like a principle (27:45) You should always show less than you have (27:48) Meaning like cool you could yeah, you could get a first-class ticket on your flight tomorrow (27:53) But like the best way to get first-class tickets forever is to knock it first-class tickets (27:59) Until it would be stupid not to yeah

Alan Lazaros

(28:01) Okay

Kevin Palmieri

(28:02) It starts off (28:03) Stupid doing it because it's a short-term (28:06) Win for a long-term loss and eventually gets to the point where it's stupid not to do it because it just you've waited so long (28:12) And you've delayed gratification so long and you've withheld so long (28:16) And I just in my mind that's kind of like the I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

(28:19) That's that's jumping off for me well We'll go right after this Maybe we do an episode on that because why? (28:28) Restraint matters (28:29) There's a couple things that there's a lot of things that I look at (28:31) To see whether or not someone can be successful and the reason why is to help people be successful (28:36) And one of them's restraint for sure (28:39) your (28:41) Ability to restrain yourself used to be very low (28:44) You you really liked to do what you wanted when you wanted and you can't win like that

Kevin Palmieri

(28:49) My question today is am I am I just doing this to get a shot of dopamine? (28:54) Like I literally last myself like is this just for a shot of dopamine in the short run? (28:59) And I almost will never do it if that's the case.

Alan Lazaros

(29:02) Yeah, well What's your what's your shot of dopamine recently? (29:06) Mine is protein Doritos at all times. (29:08) I have one thing I'm like and again, it's not that excessive I just I just like to point to it because I don't I don't want anyone to ever think I'm perfect I'm definitely not I and I know no one does so we're good But I want to talk about what I'm working on.(29:21) I love protein Doritos and I purposely had to not order them I'm not joking. (29:25) I said email is the procurement specialist for our household. (29:28) Do not buy protein Doritos Do not I would love to believe I'm perfect enough to not go in there at noon and get them I'm I don't want the I don't want it.(29:38) Don't do it. (29:39) Okay, 10 pound in 10 week challenge I don't want it now. (29:43) Am I capable of not eating Doritos?(29:46) Of course, okay But I don't want to drain my goddamn willpower knowing they're down there all goddamn day while I'm hungry all goddamn day So again that ferocity and tenacity is how I succeed Like it's just Doritos Alan. (29:59) No, it's not. (30:00) It's the principle.(30:02) It's not just Doritos.

Kevin Palmieri

(30:03) It's the goddamn principle Mini chocolate chips for me 70 cows for a serving.

Alan Lazaros

(30:08) It's like it's not that bad But you have four of those a day You know what else is not that bad a little bit of this little bit of that a little bit of social media Gambling a little bit of shopping. (30:19) It's not that bad a little bit of this It has a little bit of that now a little bit leads to a lot of bit leads to a ruined life I asked I don't go I asked my clients this all the time. (30:28) I did earlier today.(30:29) Shout out to Mo I said if I bleh if I Mo don't blank every day my life goes off the effing rails and She said exercise movement and I said if I Mo do blank At all, my life goes off the effing rails great questions to ask yourself For me protein Doritos, baby What is it if you don't if you don't do blank my miles for mindset?

Kevin Palmieri

(30:57) I dig miles for mindset I dig it speaking of exercise. (31:00) I'm going to I'm gonna go find the gym right after this (31:04) Get a workout in an hour before we record and then I'm gonna find some very macro friendly (31:10) Nutritious food, hopefully, you know, or I'm gonna end up or I'm gonna end up at the bar downstairs and drink 16 (31:19) Might literally kill me (31:20) All right (31:20) if you're looking for somebody to help you with what we talked about today Allen one of the best things about having a coach or (31:26) A peak performance partner or a mentor whatever it is (31:28) Is they constantly help you get outside your comfort zone and they convince you that micro failure from macro success is real and it'll be worth (31:34) It so reach out to Allen for that next level fitness accountability group (31:37) I'm about to go work out. (31:38) One of the reasons is because I said I would I said that yesterday in the group I said look, I'm gonna have a long day.(31:43) I'm gonna still work out I'll take you guys through my day and that helped me with accountability. (31:47) I've been doing fitness for a long time I still benefit from accountability. (31:50) Everybody does as always.(31:52) Oh, sorry as always We love you appreciate you grateful for each every one of you if you are as committed as you say you are to getting to The next level make sure you tune in tomorrow because we'll be here every single day to help you get there Keep leveling up to reach your full potential Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level University.

Alan Lazaros

(32:07) We love connecting with the next level family We mean it when we say family if you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(32:18) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow