What Does It ACTUALLY Mean To Grow Up? (2521)

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In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros dig into what it actually means to grow up. Maturity is not about eliminating every enjoyable part of life. It is about being honest about your habits, priorities, and the consequences that come with them. This conversation examines the tension between immediate comfort and long-term fulfillment. Kevin and Alan address self-discipline, personal responsibility, addictive patterns, and the rationalizations that keep people from making necessary changes.

They challenge listeners to consider whether their leisure choices support a strong, healthy, meaningful life or quietly work against it. If you want more clarity around discipline, adult responsibility, and building a life that aligns with your goals, this episode offers a direct and practical perspective.

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Visit our website and socials through the links below. 👇

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Show notes:
(2:46) Give up to grow up
(4:47) The child self Vs. Adult self
(7:49) Discipline requires sustainable balance
(14:27) Building a life that lasts
(18:47) Why moderation can be difficult
(21:19) Make leisure support what matters
(24:15) Doing what matters over what you want
(26:47) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Alan said something in a previous episode where he said, hey, you can't do that, you need to grow up. (0:05) And I was like, dude, we should do an episode on what it means to actually grow up because I kind of disagree, depending on a certain order of things.

Alan Lazaros

(0:14) If you are doing the exact same thing you were doing in your teens and your 20s and your 30s, then you obviously haven't grown up. (0:22) But this is all predicated on the life you ultimately want. (0:25) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:28) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:29) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazaros. (0:32) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:39) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:45) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:01) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:08) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:13) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,521. (1:18) I apologize, that is... (1:20) Is that true?(1:21) 2005. (1:21) Please hold, please hold, please hold, please hold. (1:23) Real quick, real quick.(1:25) Yeah, 2,521. (1:29) Cool. (1:29) What does it actually mean to grow up?(1:32) We disagree about this. (1:35) I gave up my fishing pole, man. (1:38) Dude, I honestly, if you're out there and you think this is like soft behavior, I could frankly care less.(1:43) I can't. (1:43) I don't want to hurt the fish. (1:46) I don't want to hurt the fish.(1:47) I don't want to do it. (1:47) It makes me sad. (1:48) Good for you.(1:49) The hook, you delude yourself. (1:52) It's like, oh yeah, that hole in its face will heal. (1:54) I don't think it's gonna, actually.(1:56) You know? (1:57) I don't think it's gonna.

Alan Lazaros

(1:59) Yeah, there's so many rationalizations humans use. (2:04) Okay, but to the point of this episode, that's not why I gave up my pole. (2:11) Emilia and I were at the lake this weekend and we got the new Cybertruck and we're loading it up with all of our adventure gear.(2:19) And one of them used to be fishing pole. (2:23) Tackle box. (2:25) She's like, do you want to keep it in the truck?(2:27) I was like, no. (2:29) I gave up my fishing pole. (2:30) She said, why?(2:31) I said, I think it's a bad investment of my time at this stage. (2:38) And I said, when we have children, I'm picking that shit back up for sure. (2:41) I will teach them how to fish.(2:42) However, that's the point of this episode. (2:46) Give up to grow up. (2:47) You don't have to do this.(2:48) Nobody has to give up anything. (2:50) One of the things that I really want to make clear to get to the core of this. (2:54) I argued vehemently with a client once.(2:58) I said, come into these sessions like a sparring match. (3:01) She said, okay. (3:03) So, and the reason why is because we always get to the breakthrough when we argue.(3:12) I said, it's a choice. (3:15) She's like, no, it's not. (3:16) And she's talking about her career.(3:17) She's like, no, I have to work there. (3:19) No, you don't. (3:20) You could give up your apartment.(3:22) You could give up your car. (3:23) Like you don't have to do anything. (3:25) I want to make this as clear as possible.(3:26) Like you can just wake up and sit in your own filth all day, every day and do nothing. (3:32) You don't. (3:32) And I think that that it frees us.(3:35) It's like, I don't have to podcast. (3:37) I don't have to coach. (3:38) Oh, my life is so hard.(3:40) I have to do this for the house. (3:42) I have to do this for Amelia. (3:43) I have to do this for the podcast.(3:45) I'm the CEO. (3:46) I have to coach these people. (3:47) I have to, you don't have to do anything.(3:49) You are choosing to do that because you want what comes with it. (3:54) And I think growing up, I've said this before, is accepting both sides of the coin. (3:58) You get the cyber truck and the fucking car payment.(4:02) You need to accept both. (4:04) You don't get one or the other. (4:06) And I think children want one and not the other.(4:08) That is my truth. (4:09) So yes, I want to fish. (4:11) Of course I do.(4:11) It's wonderful. (4:13) And it's not the best use of my time. (4:15) And it's time for me to grow up.(4:17) So I was on the dock this past weekend and I was checking my WhatsApp and I have some audios from a client. (4:28) And he was like, do you ever get the urge to go back to old world? (4:32) And he said, recently I saw, I used to play magic cards, Pokemon cards, cards in Yu-Gi-Oh.(4:37) He's like, I used to be a nerd back in the day. (4:38) I used to do this.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:39) Throwback.

Alan Lazaros

(4:40) Yeah. (4:40) And he's like, I got the urge to play, hang out with friends. (4:44) There's a competitive game theory component to it, all this stuff.(4:47) And I told him straight up, I said, listen, we all have a little version of ourselves inside of us. (4:55) And so you have a woman version and a girl version. (4:58) You have a boy version and a man version.(5:01) Boy version Alan goes fishing because he wants to. (5:05) Man version Alan knows that fishing is going to take him away from his other priorities because you only have so much time, effort, and money. (5:14) And I know people who spend days and days and days of their life, thousands of hours fishing, tens of thousands of dollars on equipment for fishing.(5:28) And that's, if that's their thing, that's fine. (5:31) But unless you're a bass pro fisherman on TV, who's generating income doing that, it is not the best use of your time. (5:39) And I would rather you be an adult and say, this is not the best use of my time and I'm doing it anyway.(5:45) Then kid yourself and rationalize that it's the best use of your time. (5:49) I think the person who's the most grown up is the person who's the most honest and accurate. (5:54) Don't pretend it doesn't hurt the fish.(5:56) Oh, fish don't have feelings. (5:58) Oh yes, they do. (5:59) They have central nervous systems.(6:00) And of course it hurts. (6:01) I would love to throw a hook in your mouth, but just admit that it hurts the fish and that you're doing it anyway. (6:07) That's much more mature in my opinion than someone who's like, oh, horseshoes are good for them because of XYZ.(6:13) It's like, no, they're not. (6:15) You're doing it to control the horse. (6:16) That's what we do.(6:17) We're humans. (6:18) We domesticate animals. (6:19) Stop justifying and rationalizing everything.(6:22) Well, technically Yu-Gi-Oh is good for, dude, no, you're a grown ass man. (6:28) You either admit that little version of you wants to play Yu-Gi-Oh and then accept the consequences, or you grow up and neglect that. (6:37) And I think that all of us have to take care.(6:38) And I told him this, I said, listen, you have to take care of the little version of you. (6:42) You got to. (6:43) As if you were the parent of little Alan.(6:45) Okay. (6:46) Little Alan wants to watch Jurassic Park and eat fucking Doritos. (6:50) Okay.(6:51) You can't let little Alan drive all day, every day. (6:54) Otherwise you're going to have no responsibilities. (6:56) You're going to fail your future wife.(6:58) You're going to be not healthy, wealthy, and in love. (7:00) You're going to fail as a company, and you're not going to be able to change the world in a positive way. (7:04) No children change the world.(7:06) There are no seven-year-olds changing the world for the better. (7:10) Can you imagine if we had a seven-year-old president? (7:12) Oh God.(7:13) Anyways, the point is you can't, I said 80-20. (7:17) 20% of a 16 hour day, if you sleep eight, is 3.1 hours. (7:21) You get 3.1 hours to play video games if you want to. (7:25) And even that is excessive. (7:27) But don't get it twisted. (7:28) You will not be as successful as you could be.(7:30) You will not reach your full potential like you could, and you know it. (7:33) And I didn't make the rules, this is just the way it works. (7:35) If you spend three hours a day letting little Kevin drive, and I only spend 30 minutes letting little Alan drive, I will be so much more effective than you long term, it's not even funny.(7:46) And I can show you the compound effect of the math of that if you're curious.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:49) But what you're not factoring in is the element of being a human and what makes it sustainable. (7:56) That's always my argument for this. (7:58) Now again, three hours is excessive.(8:00) I agree. (8:00) I agree.

Alan Lazaros

(8:01) But you used to do three hours and then it became two.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:03) I used to do way more than three baby.

Alan Lazaros

(8:05) Yeah, so it's, I think as you've gotten older. (8:08) Let's do that. (8:10) So go, take me through your teens, your twenties, and your thirties, and then tell me how much percentage was leisure time and how much percentage was taking responsibility in advance for making yourself, others in the better place.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:21) I will tell you this. (8:23) Okay. (8:23) I will tell you this.(8:25) Excuse me. (8:27) In my teens, it was a wild mess. (8:30) I worked however long I had to work.(8:33) So let's say it was 40 hours a week. (8:35) And outside of that, I just did whatever I wanted. (8:36) It was at the time the best.(8:39) Okay. (8:39) Felt like the best, right?

Alan Lazaros

(8:40) Real quick.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:41) Yeah. (8:42) 40 hours a week was the work.

Alan Lazaros

(8:44) Okay. (8:46) 160, 168 hours, 24 times seven minus 56 sleep eight is 112. (8:55) So 40 divided by one 12 times 100.(8:58) If you worked full time, that means that you spent 35.7% of your time, 36% of your time working. (9:05) And, and I'm going to, I'm not going to say working. (9:07) I'm going to say doing something constructive, something that actually builds and becoming a constructive member of society.(9:15) Can you imagine if everyone was a constructive member of society, how much better this world would be? (9:19) I don't know if I can fully, fully imagine it.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:23) No, I know it would be much, much, much, much.

Alan Lazaros

(9:27) We would solve climate change. (9:29) We would solve world hunger. (9:31) We, we would, it would be unbelievable.(9:33) That's actually one of the reasons I believe in changing the world is because I believe people can, I don't believe they're gonna, but I believe they can. (9:40) If we have leadership and if we have guidance, and if we like, imagine if every teacher, every, every parent was like educated on how childhood development works. (9:51) Can you imagine?(9:52) I mean, my parents didn't know shit.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:54) Well, same, but that's what seems so fucking, it's such a big ask.

Alan Lazaros

(9:58) But they could have.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:00) I know, I know. (10:01) But again, the probability, probability of it, like what's the probability that it happens?

Alan Lazaros

(10:07) Well, the only reason, I mean, think about 300 years ago. (10:13) Like what's the difference between now and then? (10:18) We're less dumb now.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:19) For sure.

Alan Lazaros

(10:20) We're less ignorant now. (10:21) So it's not impossible.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:23) No, no, I don't think it's impossible. (10:24) I'm just saying it's very hard to imagine. (10:26) It would, I feel like it would have to take, it would take such a long fucking time.

Alan Lazaros

(10:30) That's why we, that's why I do NLU.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:32) Like forever.

Alan Lazaros

(10:33) Because everyone listening to this will be a better parent for it.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:35) Well, I, I, you know, I do it more for the micro. (10:38) Like I want you to make a new decision today that you wouldn't make. (10:42) And I want you to come back tomorrow and then do the same shit.(10:44) And then just do that. (10:44) And you do that for long enough. (10:45) You're like, well, I guarantee that.(10:47) Will it happen immediately? (10:48) God, no. (10:49) Teenager, whatever.(10:51) I'll work for whatever hours I have to. (10:53) And then I'm just going to mess around with the rest of it.

Alan Lazaros

(10:55) 36% of the time, Kevin worked.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:57) And that means at work, you were actually working. (11:00) Dude, this is pre-cell phone. (11:01) So yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(11:02) Okay, cool.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:02) There was no, fuck, there was nothing to do.

Alan Lazaros

(11:04) What about the napping?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:06) That was later. (11:07) That was not my teen years. (11:09) That was my twenties.(11:10) Thank you.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:10) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:11) Then yeah, I, again, same thing in early twenties for sure. (11:14) It was just, you work, whatever it is, you work 40 hours and then the rest of the time, you essentially just screw off. (11:20) Now I was working out consistently throughout this, but I was not reading books.(11:23) I was not learning. (11:24) I was not journaling. (11:24) I was not, I didn't, I was, there was no coaching.(11:26) There was no therapy. (11:27) It was none of that. (11:29) Mid twenties, when I got my travel job, I was working a ton.(11:32) What are we talking? (11:35) 40 hours a week plus travel.

Alan Lazaros

(11:40) What do you think? (11:41) 55, 60?

Kevin Palmieri

(11:43) Yeah, probably like 55, I think.

Alan Lazaros

(11:46) 55 divided by one 12. (11:48) So you were, you were constructive 49% of the time.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:52) Okay. (11:52) And then entrepreneurship. (11:54) I mean, that's a whole, that's a whole different.

Alan Lazaros

(11:56) And then you went from, we'll round up to 50. (11:59) So you went from 37% of the time constructive member of society to 50%. (12:04) What is it now?

Kevin Palmieri

(12:06) Well, it definitely went down initially with entrepreneurship. (12:08) Cause I was like, awesome. (12:10) Let's just work for a few hours.

Alan Lazaros

(12:11) What did it go down to? (12:12) Let's do it. (12:13) If we looked at Kevin's productivity graph over time.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:15) It's hard because some days we were doing like 15 or 16 hour days, but other days, if we weren't recording, I'd work for like four hours because that's all I, I probably averaged out to 10 hours a day. (12:25) Honestly.

Alan Lazaros

(12:26) You think so?

Kevin Palmieri

(12:27) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(12:28) 10 times seven, 70 hour weeks. (12:30) Not a chance. (12:31) And you're also, you count fitness.(12:33) You can't count fitness.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:34) No, no, no. (12:34) Not times seven. (12:35) I'd say at that point it was like times five.

Alan Lazaros

(12:39) Okay. (12:40) So 50 hours.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:41) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(12:42) So the graph is teens. (12:45) When you first got your first job, how old were you? (12:48) 16?(12:50) 16 year old Kev, 37% of the time he was constructive, a productive member of society. (12:58) Cool. (12:59) Then, then you were at your job at the peak of being a foreman.(13:05) You were 50 hours. (13:07) Nope. (13:07) 60 hours with travel, which brought you to 49%.(13:12) Now we're at 44.6% at the beginning of entrepreneurship. (13:15) So you took a dip, took a dip. (13:17) And now, now where is it at 37?

Kevin Palmieri

(13:20) It's a lot.

Alan Lazaros

(13:21) What do you think? (13:22) Um. (13:24) Include everything constructive you do.(13:25) Include personal development. (13:27) Include tracking habits. (13:28) Include recording with me.(13:30) Include client work. (13:32) Include, include all the time that you're investing in building versus enjoying.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:40) Dude, I don't even know. (13:42) Like it has to average out to, yeah, it has to average out to 70 a week.

Alan Lazaros

(13:50) Yeah. (13:50) Maybe even more, right? (13:51) Because 112.(13:55) How many hours per day on average do you actually get to like, just be?

Kevin Palmieri

(14:01) I don't even know what that even, like, it depends on what that definition is, because I'm batch WhatsApp when I'm watching movies with Taren. (14:08) Yeah, I know. (14:09) All right, let's do 70.(14:10) Let's do 70. (14:10) It's gone off the rails a little bit, actually.

Alan Lazaros

(14:12) So that means 62.5%. So we'll call it 63. (14:16) So now you're at 63% of your time is building. (14:21) And I think that that's actually smart.(14:23) And the other thing too, I want to zoom out for a second. (14:27) You're 37.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:29) This is the time to do that. (14:31) I think the important thing, maybe the most important thing is you have to find the things that make that sustainable. (14:38) But here's the thing.(14:39) It can't be detrimental to the point where it's like it makes it sustainable, but it's a net loss. (14:44) I went golfing Saturday afternoon, okay? (14:47) It was nice out.(14:48) I got sun. (14:49) I got exercise because I was moving around. (14:52) I didn't eat and drink like a dickhead, so it was good for my diet.(14:56) I'm telling you, I needed the fucking mental space. (14:59) My God, am I overwhelmed. (15:02) But I told Ellen, I don't watch UFC anymore.(15:05) I don't watch sports at all. (15:08) I don't follow mixed martial arts like I used to. (15:11) I don't invest the time like I used to.(15:13) I think the ultimate goal is to make your leisure time more and more and more and more. (15:18) Construct it. (15:18) Yeah, exactly.(15:19) And it does go down over time, but it goes back up later in life. (15:27) Well, but I know, but yeah, depending on how well you do the fucking balance in the meantime. (15:32) That's why you're supposed to...

Alan Lazaros

(15:33) Dude, there shouldn't be anyone chilling in their 30s. (15:37) That shouldn't be a thing. (15:39) Brother, look at society as a whole, people from zero to 100 years old, a bell curve.(15:46) The people working the most should be people in 30s, 40s, and 50s. (15:51) That's how our society... (15:52) Who builds TVs?(15:53) Who builds cars? (15:54) Who creates... (15:55) You know what I mean?(15:56) I know this is a zoom out, but I wonder if we're taught this. (15:59) It's like 30-year-olds, okay, millennials are the next leaders. (16:05) We're the next gen.(16:07) We're supposed to be leading. (16:08) We're not supposed to be chilling. (16:10) 30s, 40s, and 50s is...(16:12) And I wonder if people... (16:14) Dude, who's an actor that's on his way out? (16:16) You know what I mean?

Kevin Palmieri

(16:18) Robert De Niro.

Alan Lazaros

(16:19) Yeah, exactly. (16:20) Exactly.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:21) Robert De Niro.

Alan Lazaros

(16:21) Yeah. (16:22) His heyday was 30s, 40s, and 50s. (16:24) Everybody's career peaks in 30s, 40s, and 50s.(16:27) Almost never did they go beyond that. (16:29) Sometimes they do. (16:30) There's the occasional Ian McClellan.(16:32) I always use him as an example because he didn't pop off until he was 60, but all his roles he plays are not lead roles. (16:38) They're all the wise mentor. (16:40) Can you imagine Ian McClellan?(16:42) It's like Liam Neeson doing his 15th action film. (16:44) Well, it doesn't matter.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:45) He's 70 years old. (16:46) Doesn't matter. (16:47) People will eat it up.

Alan Lazaros

(16:48) Yeah. (16:50) Anyways, at the end of the day, look at your life. (16:53) And the point of this episode is look at your life from that frame.(16:58) You don't have to give up video games, but you can't expect a rich, dynamic, positive life and marriage and play games every day. (17:07) You need to design your life in advance.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:10) What if it's an hour, though?

Alan Lazaros

(17:11) It never is, brother. (17:13) Yeah, but what if you could make it an hour? (17:14) That's nearly impossible.(17:16) Human beings are addictive creatures. (17:18) That's a fucking limiting belief. (17:19) You know of anyone who does just an hour?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:21) I could do an hour.

Alan Lazaros

(17:22) That's like telling yourself a story. (17:23) You're going to watch a show and not ride the lightning. (17:26) It's not a thing.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:27) Of course it's a thing. (17:27) I do it all the time.

Alan Lazaros

(17:29) You're telling me you have a show that you only watch one episode per day?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:33) I'm telling you.

Alan Lazaros

(17:34) And you never miss? (17:35) Bullshit.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:36) If that was, brother, if that was the decision I wanted to make, 100%. (17:39) That's a fucking lie.

Alan Lazaros

(17:40) But you don't do it?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:41) No. (17:41) No. (17:43) Exactly.(17:44) I'm not ready yet.

Alan Lazaros

(17:46) Oh, you'll be ready at 38 when you're grown up?

Kevin Palmieri

(17:49) I hope so.

Alan Lazaros

(17:50) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (17:50) No, I'm kidding.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:51) No.

Alan Lazaros

(17:51) At the end of the day, brother, I'm glad we're doing this.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:54) There are certain lines in the sand, though, right? (17:55) Nobody does, though. (17:56) Almost no one does.(17:57) I understand. (17:58) You sound like me. (17:58) But you could.(17:59) You can. (18:01) Yeah, yeah, you could. (18:02) If it means that fucking much to you, where you're like, honestly, I'm going to play Halo.(18:06) I want to play Halo. (18:07) I want Halo to be a part of my life. (18:08) Awesome.(18:09) You, you're going to have to be more disciplined than anybody, you know, and I don't care that you're on a heater.

Alan Lazaros

(18:14) But the most disciplined people don't play Halo. (18:17) It's not a thing.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:18) But what if we find, uh, I'm extremely disciplined. (18:21) I do shit. (18:22) I play golf.(18:23) Golf is something disciplined people do.

Alan Lazaros

(18:26) Yeah, but it's like, it's still, it's on the fringe of. (18:29) Have you ever met any self-discipline oriented, in-shape Halo players? (18:35) Not as many.(18:37) Not as many. (18:38) There's a reason everyone used to make fun of World of Warcraft.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:40) But that's what I'm saying is like, if that's the thing that's going to fill your cup, then you just going to, you're going to have to be as regimented with that as you are with tracking habits.

Alan Lazaros

(18:47) I agree. (18:48) I just think just because it's rare doesn't mean it can't be done. (18:51) I just want to make sure everyone listening understands the implications.(18:54) Like if you said, hey, I'm going to play a video game that's addicting and I'm only going to do an hour a day. (19:00) Good fucking luck. (19:01) I coach 46 people now, which is wild to say out loud, 47.(19:06) If this last one, this next one comes on, uh, verbal yes. (19:09) I've, I'm, these are some of the most disciplined people in the fucking world and they are so off the rails. (19:15) It's not even funny.(19:16) Like they can't, I have someone messaging me every day that they studied. (19:22) This is one of the most disciplined people I've ever met. (19:24) He's the leader of a company.(19:27) Like, dude, there is no, like there is, there's so much, human beings are so all or nothing. (19:34) That's why I quit cold turkey. (19:35) That's why I quit.(19:35) I didn't retire my fishing pole because I don't want to fish. (19:40) I retired my fishing pole because I know that I can't just fish once. (19:45) And that's not how humans operate.(19:46) Human beings are very addictive creatures. (19:48) There's a lot of research on this.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:49) No one plays Halo once. (19:51) I don't disagree, but I'm just saying like, yeah, but nobody wants to track habits either. (19:54) So I just do it on the other end.(19:57) I don't want to get up at six. (19:58) I just get up at six. (19:59) That's what I have to do.

Alan Lazaros

(20:00) That's what I signed up. (20:01) What's something that you want to do that is considered not growing up that you, that you do believe you could do without like, Emilia and I's favorite show is Seal Team. (20:11) Dude, it's very hard.(20:13) I would argue Emilia is the most, she is the most disciplined person I've ever met. (20:18) Hands down. (20:19) It's actually not even close.(20:20) She and I every now and then are like, fuck it. (20:25) We're going for another one. (20:26) And then it's, we go to bed late and then we wake up late and then we miss our workout.(20:30) And then we didn't miss our workout. (20:31) We do it in the evening. (20:32) But the point is, is like, if the most disciplined person I've ever met still can't do it, it's called a pipe dream.(20:41) This is my point. (20:43) Quit it completely now. (20:45) Quit it completely.(20:46) If it has a hold on you, you have to quit it completely. (20:50) And, and, or play very close to the hip. (20:54) In which case it takes away the enjoyment anyway.(20:57) You imagine me going fishing. (20:58) It's like, I'll set a timer for 30 minutes like that. (21:00) Just quit.(21:01) Grow up and quit. (21:02) It is what it is. (21:03) Be a constructive member of society.(21:05) Grow up. (21:05) You, your future self will thank you.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:07) We disagree on that.

Alan Lazaros

(21:08) Yeah, fair.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:09) Not that productive member. (21:10) I like, yeah, sure. (21:11) You could definitely be doing something more productive, but if you fucking, I think it's more a conversation.(21:16) I know you gotta go. (21:16) I think it's more a conversation of like maximizing versus.

Alan Lazaros

(21:19) Well, are you playing Halo with your kids? (21:21) Cause that's different. (21:22) That's why I would fish with my children.(21:24) Because it's not about the fishing. (21:25) That's the problem. (21:27) It's how much can you stack on it?(21:29) Am I spending quality time with Emilia? (21:32) Am I growing and developing quality time with my children? (21:35) Like, that's why I'm going to fish.(21:36) Well, I'm assuming. (21:37) Because for kids, it actually makes sense. (21:39) It will develop their brain.(21:40) They'll be in an activity, quality time with dad. (21:42) I'll be able to impose some lessons. (21:44) The best lessons are when you're fishing.(21:46) Like, but I'm not going to fish to fish. (21:48) I'm a grown ass man.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:49) I'm under the assumption that those things were already happening.

Alan Lazaros

(21:53) That's not true at all. (21:54) You're already tracking habits. (21:56) Oh, okay.(21:56) But you're people listening though. (21:58) Like, some of them are just playing games alone, like in the basement and with their friends online at 40 years old when they should be with their wife.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:05) And well, if that's what you're doing, that's a conversation of prioritization. (22:09) One of my clients calls them cave dwellers. (22:13) And they definitely are, right?(22:15) They definitely are. (22:15) But I'm saying like, if you're listening to this every day and you're out there trying to do it, I want to make sure it's sustainable. (22:24) I don't know if I could have just went from loving UFC to not.(22:30) I don't watch UFC at all. (22:31) Line in the sand, done. (22:32) And I don't want you to do that.(22:33) I still watch movies too. (22:34) No, no. (22:35) But if you ever get to, no, I'm done though.(22:36) Line in the sand, drawn. (22:37) I'm not watching it. (22:38) Okay.(22:39) Done. (22:39) But I don't think I could have done that five years ago.

Alan Lazaros

(22:42) No, but I think the point is, is you don't have to give up UFC all at once, but you can't keep thinking it's a good idea. (22:49) Stop rationalizing. (22:50) Remember you used to rationalize things?(22:52) You used to like, oh, this isn't that bad. (22:53) Now in hindsight, it was that bad. (22:56) And you know it, but I think that's all I'm saying is if you want to do it, do it.(23:00) Just don't pretend it's a good idea. (23:02) Getting the Cybertruck was not a good idea. (23:04) No one needs a Cybertruck.(23:06) Now, there are some good things that come with it, but no, I'm not going to, it takes a grownup to say, I want this, but it's not financially smart. (23:17) And I think we get in a lot of trouble because we want to believe our choices are optimal. (23:21) They're not.(23:21) And just own it. (23:22) Just own that you're, you know, I, dude, watching, remember when I watched all three Hobbit movies? (23:28) I should be fucking, brother, that was the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas for productivity.(23:34) I was like, this is, I did it on my birthday. (23:37) I wanted to watch them all extended. (23:39) It was, I can, can you imagine me doing that now?(23:42) Dude, no wonder we weren't successful. (23:43) I mean, what the hell are we doing here? (23:45) You can't watch Hobbit marathons and be successful.(23:49) And, and you're kidding yourself if you think otherwise. (23:51) And I just can't lie to people.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:54) You're also the, maybe the most principally based human I know. (23:57) Like everything for you, if it is the principle and you either do it or you don't because of the principle, that'd be an interesting episode.

Alan Lazaros

(24:04) I even think the whole birthday thing throws people off the rails. (24:06) Cause I wouldn't even have done that if it wasn't my birthday. (24:08) It's like, well, it's Saturday.(24:09) I don't care what day it is.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:10) I stayed up late on mine. (24:12) I rode the fucking lightning for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(24:13) Yeah. (24:13) And I, again, the Hobbit marathon is excessive. (24:15) That's why we talk about it.(24:16) But if I could go back and talk to myself, I would say, Alan, come on, man. (24:23) Like, I know it's your birthday. (24:24) Like, dude, you're a grown ass man.(24:26) What are we doing? (24:27) Like watch one movie, you know, take three hours on a Sunday. (24:31) Watch one movie.(24:32) And they're four and a half hours long. (24:34) You think that'll do it, right? (24:35) So I just, I think that we are a bunch of like immature people running around.(24:40) Like we are, I'm right about this. (24:42) Like it's time to grow up, everybody. (24:44) Like, you know, and especially millennials, dude.(24:47) Like millennials didn't have to grow up as quick. (24:49) We shouldn't even be playing video games. (24:52) Like back in the day, you know, our grandparents are sitting there going, when I was your age, I had to build things with my hands.(24:58) You know, like I didn't have things delivered and get to go on the internet and scroll on social media endlessly and worry about, you know, so, so I do think that if you want a successful life, you're going to have to do more of what's important and less of what you want and, and integrate what you want. (25:15) It needs to be syntax matters. (25:17) What's important.(25:17) And I said that to him, I said, brother, a man versus a boy. (25:21) Do you want to be a man child? (25:23) Or do you want to be a man?(25:24) A man does what's important. (25:26) Even if he doesn't want to do it. (25:28) A boy does what he wants all the time.(25:30) And I know you're not saying all the time.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:32) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(25:32) I just think the syntax matters. (25:34) If you're most, a lot of people are doing what they want, not what's important. (25:39) And their life ends up in the tank because of it, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:44) All right. (25:45) Get your shit together. (25:47) Whether you're watching or listening, get your shit together and like sell your PlayStation, sell your television, sell everything.(25:55) And you are to have nothing. (25:57) But that's not what I'm saying.

Alan Lazaros

(25:58) I have 117 inch projector. (26:01) I was on the, at the lake this weekend.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:03) Like, that's not what I'm saying. (26:04) Before you go real quick, before you go, I know you've got to go. (26:06) We have a projector as well.(26:08) And the other day Tara was like, uh, so I found something out. (26:10) And I was like, what did you find out? (26:11) She said, when we got the projector, it had a lens protector on it that we never took off.(26:16) And I was like, oh my God, that's why it was so terrible. (26:19) It is the best now. (26:22) And that's how low maintenance.(26:23) It's like, oh my God, it's so much better now. (26:25) This is great. (26:25) We've been watching it shittily for the last three months.(26:28) I'm so much more excited than I was. (26:30) All right, cool. (26:30) Game changer.(26:31) Game changer. (26:31) Speaking of game changing, coaching with Alan, reach out to Alan. (26:34) He's ready for 50 clients.(26:36) He has spots available. (26:37) Reach out to him. (26:38) Next level fitness accountability group.(26:39) I was in there today at six o'clock when I was on the treadmill trying to drop some wisdom on mindset around fitness. (26:45) So if you're looking for that, reach out to Alan, Ian, or myself. (26:47) As always, we love you.(26:48) Appreciate you. (26:48) Grateful for each and every one of you. (26:49) If you are as committed as you say you are to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we'll be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(26:55) Keep leveling up to reach your full potential.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:58) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (27:02) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(27:05) We mean it when we say family. (27:07) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (27:10) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(27:13) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.